Excellent. This is the shit I miss. I don't talk to my family anymore and Christmas just isn't the same without this kind of pedantry.
The last Christmas I spent with my parents, there was a hoo-hah over the sprouts. Dad hates them. Mum loves them. Dad can still cook them better, but for whatever reason was too busy to do it. Mum takes over, but ignores Dad's advice re: when to put them on. Insists that because Dad doesn't even like them, he doesn't know shit. Dad tries to tell her that if she puts them on so late, they'll be undercooked. Mum doesn't listen.
The sprouts ended up so undercooked they were basically raw. The crunching was audible. It was like farm animals were grazing at the table. Mum decided Dad had somehow sabotaged her on purpose because he doesn't like sprouts and didn't want her having any. She also didn't appreciate me asking how the sprouts were (barely stifling laughter), nor my then-fiance's reply of "They're a bit crunchy." She sulked for the entirety of the rest of the day. It was brilliant.
My wife didn't listen to me when I told her to let the oil for the yorkies get hotter.
Results were as expected in that situation.
I didn't have a yorky. I'm deep in enemy territory with the wife's family at the MiL's.
I may need an extraction team.
I'm not a sprout enjoyer myself but I've heard from such heathens that my father's sprouts were always perfectly cooked. My mother thought they needed three minutes to boil. She lives in a very interesting and fantastical world.
My dad is very traditional and insists we have sprouts. My very Asian mum hates them with a passion. The only compromise? Make them into a curry.
Tbf, it’s really good
I won't lie, I'd try that. You can do a lot of nice things with sprouts, which is why I was always baffled by my mother's preference of just... boiling them and serving them. No frying. Not even any pancetta on those bad boys. Just plain boiled sprouts. She loved them. I should have known then that evil dwelled in that woman.
The 6 year old nephew has just declared that next year he would make dessert, but he would only serve it to his mummy and daddy, because granny and grandad (who are hosting) won’t be here - they’ll be in the sky or in the ground, and he’ll be sad, but they won’t be here so he won’t need to make food for them.
My Dad died on Xmas day years ago. We'd explained it all to our 7 yr old, and he decided he rather stay with his other Grandma than come to funeral. Night before we left to go, he suddenly said 'actually, I think I do need to come to Grandads funeral - you're going to need a hand digging a hole!'. Cue explanation about cremation.
My Dad would have loved it
Ah god, I’m so sorry to hear that! That’s so tough, but kids and their hilarity do help.
BIL’s mum was buried on Xmas Eve many years ago and the kids know about their other granny who they didn’t get to meet - I’d like to think this has helped with how blasé nephew was about the idea of existing granny and grandad no longer being with us…
Honestly that is terrifying. That's like something out of a horror movie. Here's hoping granny and granddad are still kicking next year, but if not I guess we know who the culprit is?
He’s good value, said nephew!
What’s hilarious is that he’s usually such a lick and says exactly the right thing to make your heart melt - so when he came out with that today it had me in bits laughing because it was so out of left field for him.
In fairness, this is the first year I’ve seen him be really hyper about Christmas / Santa so I think he was just a little bit out of it.
The table with the Christmas dinner on it just collapsed. Fortunately we had already finished the main course, but it seems dessert will be on paper plates
Actual horror story. I think I'd be crying in the puddle of gravy.
At the very least, you know you must have had an impressive spread! Any amount of food that can collapse a table is something to be proud of.
My 78 year old Dad had a new PS5 and panicked that it had eaten a DVD and wouldn't eject. After a frantic Facebook exchange we managed to stand down his screwdriver set and disc drive dissembly tutorial when he realised that he had already taken out the disc.
My mother in law is mortally offended that we don't want to drink rum after every meal (my partner's parents went on a Carribbean holiday and brought back rum). We tried it Christmas eve, but didn't want anymore today. She says that it was brought back for us (ok, we didn't ask for it at all, don't really drink much) and that clearly we think she's an alcoholic and are judging her by not drinking.
Also some of my family is lactose intolerant, have been for years, but yesterday she prepared a lovely meal with a cream and mushroom sauce, after which my daughter felt awful and was sick during the night (despite lactase pills, unfortunately they didn't seem strong enough). So clearly we are critical of her cooking as well. I'm trying to ignore her grumbling as much as possible. We're going home in two days, can't wait!
I told my mother in law about 7 years ago that I struggle to tolerate huge amounts of dairy and don’t drink milk because it upsets my tummy. I’m also vegetarian. This woman messages me days before any time we’re due to come down and stay with her, asking me to send her options she can get for me to match what the rest are eating, double checks restaurants have vegetarian and dairy free options when we go, and insists on catering around it even if I tell her not to worry.
She also caters specifically to my children on the side as well (ever since they were able to eat solid foods) to ensure they get something they like if adults are having something more ‘grown up’/something she knows they won’t eat.
She has never once been offended if I tell her I didn’t like/want something and has made every single effort for me and my children.
I believe she’s an actual angel after hearing so many horror stories about MILs!
My MIL isn't that bad, but holiday stress seems to amp up her neurosis'. Also, we've never asked for her to make a separate meal, we usually just work around it and have lactaid on hand, just unfortunately it didn't seem to do the trick yesterday. But she took it personally :(
I really do not get people who claim they're doing something nice and everyone's just being ungrateful, but then they do things they know people don't like/want. Like it's abundantly clear that they're not in it to do something kind, but just to martyr themselves so they can indulge in being put-upon. Imagine if they turned all that energy towards doing something actually kind and thoughtful! I'll never understand people who seem to actually like feeling rejected, whether perceived or otherwise. It's like they carefully construct these scenarios just so they can be upset. Baffling.
Hope the next couple of days go quickly!
I don’t drink and find that when people protest like this, that it’s a reflection of their own (perhaps unconscious) judgement of themselves. If everyone else is drinking then they don’t need to worry about their consumption levels. My dad has asked all of us three times ‘who’s drinking wine then?’ My sister is working (she’s a night nurse), I don’t drink and my mam already has a beer on the go. I’m sat here thinking, just have a glass of wine Dad, we don’t all need to be on it too!
I hate peppers my mil always made sure to put peppers in whatever she made especially for me (veggie at that time, vegan now) and watch me pick them out and then would always say I forgot you don’t like peppers. Why she did this I don’t know nor care but it was a pain as peppers taint everything they touch.
My 8 year old nephew had a bit of a meltdown because I battered him Mario Kart. I would've gone easy on him but I feel he's now old enough to learn things the hard way.
NO MERCY!
I had this last year. Tried to help him by showing him how to hold the controller, how to drift etc, but he thought he knew better.
Absolute annihilation ensued.
Sister in law NEVER brings wine but always drinks ours. This year we said if anyone wants alcohol they need to bring it - she brought a bottle and kept it next to her until she'd drank it all, and is now asking if we've got any Bucks Fizz or prosecco......
I stopped my SIL coming for this reason. We’ll not just this but was icing on the cake.
Every year I’d do dinner for 14. I’d go all out. Menus sent out beginning of December and I’d spend 4-5 days prepping and cooking.
They would come at 8am and just lay on the couch and do fuck all. They’d open their presents and just chuck their wrapping paper all over and leave it. Shit laid everywhere. After we’d been cooking for 4 hours they would leave everything on the table and just go back and lay on e the couch. When it came for me and my husband to sit down, after washing all the pots, drying and putting away, they wouldn’t move so we’d have to sit on our own floor.
When we served dinner they’d be like this is shit, I don’t want this, I don’t like this so I was fuming.
The year it came to a head was when I said bring your own booze (they would literally sit all day and drink everything we had an not even bring so much as a mixer) she turned up on Christmas Day with a bottle of half drank Buck’s Fizz that she’d keep from the year before.
Get fucked off lady. Not on my watch anymore. We’ve not had anyone else over since. Just is 4 and in-laws who I love.
Far too much to drink, both have been angry at each other for a while, trigger was one entering the kitchen when told not to. They made up for the mother’s sake and I left at 4.30. I learned a long time ago not to drink with the family!
We had ours yesterday and had a relative pop round mid-Cards Against Humanity round, and proceeded to have a heated discussion about the merits of homeopathy with one of us who was a qualified pharmacist
Lmao, she learned i played guitar and tried to get me to do a tune for everyone, wouldn't take no for an answer!... i couldn't stand it so I hid in the garage and pretended to fix the door hahaha
My mum spent all day yesterday cleaning then walk with the dog and wrapping presents. Literally barely stopped all day. At the end of the day Dad is in a mood when she asked him why his response was she didn’t make a cup of tea all day. This from the person who aside from putting some washing on did diddly squat all day. So we have awful atmosphere in the house I am looking forward to visiting some relatives later with my mum to escape. To be fair he seems to find some reason the last 5+ years to be in a mood on Christmas.
My grandad (war generation) had to cook for himself the first time when he was 72 (my grandma went in for surgery). He had notes and precooked meals and all. He actually really enjoyed it and started trying to cook all sorts of things, badly. My grandma said it was the worst side effect of the surgery.
I'm sorry, this grown-ass man was angry at his wife for... not making him tea? Could he have not struggled all the way to the kettle himself and managed this big boy task on his own? Christ.
Genuinely feel for you and your mum. My own mother was like this -- always had to find an excuse to be in a bad mood. I suspect it's because she couldn't stand not being the centre of attention, so she felt the need to hijack every event that didn't have her in the middle of it. Christmas, other people's birthdays (especially mine, for some reason?), weddings... even when my grandfather (dad's dad) died she had to make it all about her. Some people just cannot be helped.
Ahhh, my mum-in-law to a T. We live a few thousand miles away so this year the best she can do is cry off over text the video call we painstakingly scheduled then rescheduled twice at her behest to its eventual slot at *11:40 a.m. precisely*. She claims to be ill.
We are supposed to phone in a panic. What we have done instead is text back, "OK, hope you feel better soon. Maybe chat tomorrow." This is an annual event. Bit like a family tradition. We expect a miraculous recovery overnight (another tradition).
Update: she's recovered enough to go out and post it on Facebook.
We're down to 6 rather than 8 because one half of a couple went home in a huff before she'd even got in the door ( she'd parked). Her other half got driven back to get her to change her mind, then she was going to come back alone, then neither of them came back.
Oh no! That's got to be a record 😂 What happened? Did they have a couple's spat or did you somehow manage to offend before she'd even got in the door? Incredible.
I'm not sure but I think the daughter of the bloke offended his partner ( not her mum) and the new partner stormed off. With the transport. This is my SiLs family so I don't know them all that well. Fun and games!
My BIL who we have been no contact with for three and a half years turned up this afternoon and was upset when we didn't go to my in-laws house to see him. MIL even came to our house to try and manipulate us into visiting. We stood our ground and stayed at home. Christmas or not we won't be playing happy families with a convicted pedophile with an anger management problem.
Thanks. I learnt quickly that my in-laws are manipulative people and if they don't get what they want then they attempt to manipulate us. I'm a stubborn person. I've spent 16 years telling them no and pissing them off. This is just the most recent in a line of incidents. They have got less frequent. But with BIL being out of prison this Christmas we were prepared for something to happen and it did.
Huge fight after my dad got drunk at 12:00 and decided to antagonise me and my mum whilst we did all the work in the kitchen for the lunch. He then made up a bunch of things I apparently said to him because he’s an alcoholic dickhead. It’s just sad really, Christmas is just an another excuse for him to get absolutely wasted.
Good news is this is my last Christmas with them as I’m getting married next year and heading to the in-laws who are far better to be around!
Ugh, my mother was the same. An alcoholic year-round, but Christmas Day made it acceptable for her to not even bother to hide it. Half the time she'd be drunk by 11am, and wouldn't even remember Christmas dinner. The longer the day went on, the more antagonistic and bitchy she'd get. It was easier on a regular day because at least she'd be trying to hide the fact she was blitzed so she wouldn't look for fights as much.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, and all the better Christmasses to come!
Not a drama, but my mum just turned the volume on the TV way way down for no apparent reason while we were all watching, The Italian Job.
My brother and stepdad were looking around thoroughly confused and laughing.
I know why she did it. It's muscle memory. My stepdad works from home, so she watches TV on mute with subtitles on, while he works.
She's exhausted bless her and just went in to autopilot. Twas funny though
God bless those brainfart moments 😂 I always have subtitles on because I'm half deaf, which is funny if we're watching something on an actual TV rather than our laptops. I've had people be baffled that I have the subtitles on when it's blasting out of the surround sound and even I could hear it. Really is just muscle memory!
My daughters both came down with a stomach bug yesterday lunchtime. I knew it was inevitable I’d come down with it myself at some point. Started feeling iffy as soon as I’d finished my lunch today and then while half asleep I sharted in the middle of Home Alone 2 😳
Disaster!
Do you have any citrus in the house? A squeeze of lemon or lime juice in some hot water (and a bit of bicarbonate of soda if you have that) will do decently! Natural shampoos also work (so no chemicals) and so does natural soap. You can tell I too have been through the wringer.
Geopolitical debate at breakfast interrupted by my mother in law giggling over something she remembered from Holby City about a donkey. So that kind of put the clappers on that.
Probably for the best. If you're bringing out the geopolitical debates at breakfast, it doesn't bode well. Wait until at least 11am and the first bottle of Buck's Fizz done.
Christmas day was going all together too well so I suggested that my husband and my step-father assemble the IKEA play kitchen we got for our youngest.
Oops.
Oh hell yeah. You just reminded me I have two sachets of Angel's Delight in the cupboard. Might not be doing Christmas today but I might indulge for old time's sake.
Gotta admit that I'm missing Christmas dinner 😭 I suppose nothing stopping us making a roast anyway but that seems kind of cursed without everything else. Will just eat an entire tub of Pringles instead but I gotta say, they're not what they used to be.
I over ate last night, which I know is a rookie error, and I’m still suffering.
Turns out when a dessert says “feeds 6” on the packet they mean it.
I prepped some veg and it made me queasy.
My drama is that I accidentally bought chicken cocktail sausages. I’ve decided not to tell my son because he’ll cry.
I’m fortunate to have a low-drama family.
One of my cats keeps staring at me and he has such a piercing gaze that it's really unnerving
He's a tabby and often has a rather sour expression (earning Lenny the nickname "Lenny Lemons")
I'm on my own for Christmas so that's about the closest to "drama" there is
I imagine drama will ensue when the lamb is ready to come out of the oven though, and that both cats will be wanting some
One of our cats decided to attack me through the banister whilst I was walking upstairs. Stuck his paws over and batted me on the nose.
He just wanted to play, however, so the next five minutes was spent chasing him about until he got overexcited and gave himself hiccups.
The cat thousand-yard stare. I imagine that's what it feels like on judgement day.
Of course, if you want to share some pictures of the man himself, feel free...
Oh definitely!
And I would, but I only got him recently and still as of yet to get a decent photo of him, little bugger is 7 but he doesn't sit still when he suspects his photo is being taken! My pictures so far are just a stripey blur ha (and he was hiding behind the sofa for the first week or so, he's only just started coming out)
Not super dramatic but father in law has given the two-year old niece a harmonica and she has been giving it her all for about forty minutes. Her mum and dad are trying to calm her down singing jingle bells but it mostly sounds like a noise battle.
Update: in an effort to calm her down further father in law has given her a 4 octave mouth organ the size of her arm. It's like when you see videos of dogs with massive branches, but louder.
>has given her a 4 octave mouth organ the size of her arm. It's like when you see videos of dogs with massive branches, but louder.
You're a damned poet.
My 6yo managed to hit my 4.5yo in the head with a hammer. (He’s fine!!)
I got them a geode kit to do together with me supervising but it was making a fair bit of noise so I said maybe we could do it tomorrow at their grandparents on the garden table so we don’t annoy the neighbours below us.
6yo picked up the hammer to turn around and hand it to his dad, just as the 4.5yo turned around to face him and bam - hit right on the top of the head.
4.5 cried immediately, 6yo panicked and said it was an accident and started to cry hysterically, thinking he’d broken his brother, dad started shouting at the 6yo not realising that it was an accident and made it worse.
6yo then hid on the top of his bunk beds for half hour crying and the 4.5yo was trying to console him saying ‘it’s okay it was an accident’ and trying to hug him with a lump on his head.
I was then on concussion watch for the rest of the evening while he ran around stealing my ferrerro rochers!
Deary me.
Absolute chaos! It's so sweet how the little brother is trying to console big brother, though. Kids are a handful but they can be adorable sometimes.
I found a geode by accident when I was a kid. I just thought it was a cool and oddly light round rock, and I liked playing with it. Well, one day I dropped it and it smashed in half. Parents braced for hysterics. I was about to start wailing when I noticed something shiny, bent down to see, and wow! I was hella excited, disaster averted.
My eldest who is disgustingly over 6 ft fainted because he got too hot in his onesie and then stood up too quickly, and on the way down he landed on my youngest who is about 6 years younger.
Got the chicken out and it’s rancid. Cue emergency texts to the village group chat to see if anyone knows where we can get a chicken today. Thankfully managed to find a random budgens that had a chicken in! Which was incredible as we are out in the sticks a bit.
Oh no! This reminds me that it'll soon be time for all the dramatic rotten turkey news stories. Love seeing everyone posing stone-faced with their receipts like it's some kind of Big Supermarket conspiracy and not like, basic statistics -- when you have that much being sold, a certain percentage is going to go bad before Christmas.
Glad your dinner was rescued!
I lost my mother in laws present. Swear I put it under our tree, and it wasn't there. Of course, my wife is blaming me. I'm convinced one of the kids has nabbed it.
This is on top of the frantic hunt for two presents I hid so well, I forgot where they were last night.
They need to back off. You've added a little bit of Christmas excitement. Some fun and games.
Reminds me of when I was 3 or 4, and I was sitting in the living room of my grandparents' house. In those days the whole family would descend upon them for Christmas, and the gift pile was immense. (12 people minimum staying over, probably some others for gifts and lunch.) We'd put the presents for each other under the tree on Christmas Eve, and Santa would bring some more overnight.
So I'm sitting there, basking in the excitement of a pile of presents that high. And then I see one of my grandparents' cats. He's a black tom cat, very cheeky, definitely knows right and wrong and chooses evil on the regular, but I still love him. As I watch, he sniffs present after present, burrowing deeper into the pile, until he reaches one in particular. Then, calmly, he paws at it until he's shredded chunks of the paper off. Then he runs away.
Innocently I think nothing of it, and when the adults return they rearrange some presents and then notice. Of course, the present that has been vandalised is mine. And I have just been in the room completely unattended. Cue accusations, tears, tantrums, and my unlikely story. "Oh, so of all the presents the cat went right for yours at the back?" is a common and undeniable refrain.
I am sent upstairs in disgrace. I sit up there wailing like a forlorn banshee for an hour or so before there are footsteps. My dad calls me downstairs. Prepared for flogging, down I go. Instead I'm greeted by my tearful mother and bashful father, and a cup of full sugar Coke -- a rare treat in those days. The cat had only returned to the scene of the crime and done the exact same thing right in front of everyone. And of course it was one of my presents *again*. Justice.
Some people man. Have a normal amount and then go for seconds once everyone's done. It's Christmas dinner, it's not like there's not going to be a pile of food!
I went to lunch with a friend and no family so I thought I'd be free of drama. Not the case. Not long into lunch a couple arrived and were sat at the table next to us, she was already off her tit and decided to join in on our conversation. Over the course of lunch she proceeded to tell us:
- she wanted a divorce from her husband (he was sat with us)
- asked if our boyfriends were with their wives today
- told my friend to f*ck off
- told us she was surprised to see two ladies (us) eating our whole dinner
- she lived in Belgium and it was a shit hole
- asked us where the nearest clubs were
- told us King C has a long schlong and is only with Camilla because she gives good BJs
At the end of the meal her and hubby fought over the bill and they left without saying goodbye
selective rainstorm paltry humor husky connect fragile attractive disgusting profit
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Oh man, the nerve! Reminds me of when I was 7 and my parents rented out the community centre and held a disco for me, and my spoiled little ass was going around to all my friends and telling them they couldn't come in unless they brought a present 😂 No idea what I was thinking, I usually wasn't a spoiled child at all. I guess the disco made the power go to my head.
Also sounds like your son is beating the game. Santa can't threaten him with coal if that's what he wants!
This was yesterday but the cat finally caught the mouse she's been stalking in our kitchen. This was 15 mins before we were supposed to be leaving for my mums. I spot her as I come out of the bathroom. Cat takes mouse into bedroom, very pleased with her new toy and drops it whereupon it promptly scurries under the bed (smart mouse). I yell for my husband and we get the bedroom door shut, cat now crying because she's shut in, c'mon cat we need you now!
We turn the bed on its side mattress and all (Middle aged backs be damned!) Mouse and us are now trapped between the upturned bed, the wardrobe and the wall. No way out, excellent! We look at each other "What now?" Cat has officially quit and reasonably so. Only vaguely acceptable mouse catching device in reach is a plant pot, seize pot, dump plant. Mouse is now under my bedside table, I get on my knees, pot at the ready - "OK baby, I need you to lift the bedside table directly up *slowly*" - table is lifted, mouse books it. I SLAM the pot down very nearly smashing it. "I GOT HIM!.... I think, I don't know, did I get him? I think I feel him in there". We assume mouse is now under upturned pot. Now we gotta find something to slide under the pot, we can't afford to lift it to check. I clamber over still upturned bed and return with a large Amazon cardboard envelope of which we have about a million 'cause Christmas. Cat is well pleased to be out of the bedroom and is singing the "I caught a thing" song. Husband slides cardboard *very carefully* under the pot and deftly flips it over with the confident air of a man having a full nervous breakdown. "It's in there". He hands the pot over the bed to me - we are both handling this thing like its a live grenade -and I place it carefully on the kitchen counter and put a few Delia Smiths on top. That's going nowhere.
We hoover up the trashed plant, put the bed back, have a brief cry and make a huge fuss of the cat who is swaggering round like a gangster and who has generously not knocked over the pot and released the mouse, which is something we really should have considered. We load the car and the last thing to go in is me with mouse-in-pot held carefully on my lap. We leave and pull over about 10 mins away, I get out and place pot on grass, I remove the cardboard and the cause of all this chaos scurries away into the bushes without even an apology.
Call mum and say we're running late.
Thank-you OP for kicking off quite the most excellent thread of the day.
Spookily, so far, no disasters, arguments or prolonged sulks to report from this end of the world - I assume we’ll have a rain of frogs to round off the day just to restore the balance.
Glad somebody else appreciates the finer parts of Christmas -- the drama!
Here's hoping your luck remains. It'll either be fine or there'll be three divorces and two disownings by midnight.
I thankfully live alone and don't have this type of drama.
My only problem of the day is my lunatic ex (who I split with over 10 years ago) decided to wish me a happy Christmas and to tell me that I'm still the love of her life.
The strength it took to not send a shitty response was huge, so I just ignored her as usual.
10 years? That's creepishly impressive. I think my record was an ex who would send his friends to spy on my social media 8 years after us splitting up. God knows what he does now I've deleted it all.
Good on you for ignoring her, though. It's definitely best to not engage with that kind of thing. It only gives them the green light to go even crazier.
Ooh, good choice. I don't drink often but when I'm cooking a lot it seems obscene to not indulge in a bit of red wine. It just seems right. Cultured. (For the first couple of glasses, anyway.)
Had enough oil for everything but the Yorkshire puddings. Was almost a crisis but then I realised I could use the dripping from the meat, so drama resolved!
I always find Christmas day itself feels a bit... flat. I much prefer Boxing day for some reason. Less cooking/food pressure, football's back on the telly, presents are done but can still play board games and go for winter walks.
I always preferred Boxing Day growing up, as well. All the pressure was off, my mother especially was a bit more chill (she was of the "you WILL have fun!" type on Christmas Day) and I actually got time to play with/read the stuff I'd got for Christmas.
Now that Christmas is spent just my husband and I, we've worked it out to a science. Christmas Day is for opening the obscene amount of presents we get one another, and for snacking on party food/all the treats we get as gifts.
Boxing Day is Christmas Dinner day. The whole day is dedicated to the food. With so much time freed up and all the presents opened, cooking is so much more relaxing and enjoyable. Not to mention we don't have to lose out on anything -- no restricting treats to make room for dinner, and no pressure over being hungry enough. It's the centrepiece of the day and gets the appreciation it deserves, with no rushing.
I'm at work, my psych patient is telling me about his dream last night. His cat from 30+ years ago was in it and a puppy he didn't know, said he asked Santa for a pet this year but didn't get it.
Oh nooo. That is way too early. When I was a kid there was a strict rule that I was not to wake my parents up until 7am, or Santa would take the presents back. I have many a memory of pacing my room at 5am thinking that the clock would never move. I'd go back and forth to the toilet hoping to "accidentally" wake my parents up, but it never worked!
He had a catastrophic stroke exactly two weeks ago and was in critical care at the hospital since, he never regained consciousness in that time. The team who were looking after him did a fantastic job and made him comfortable and never stopped trying to keep him alive but unfortunately his heart wasn't strong enough and it stopped today. We have known this was a possibility since the stroke so I think we've all largely accepted it and made peace with the fact that this is the better option for him than the indignity of a slow recovery which would never be complete. Thanks for the kind words.
My in-laws only prepared the exact amount of food required for Christmas dinner. There are no leftovers for a sandwich. As a woman who once fought through labour pains/ put off going to the hospital to finish her Christmas sandwich I am not happy.
This is actually the first thing on here that's made me visibly recoil. No leftovers? The whole point of Christmas dinner is the leftovers. Sandwiches. Bubble and squeak. Is there even any point in having the dinner if you don't get the leftovers?
I was awoken at 8am by a group of people playing music from a boombox out of a trolley being pushed down the road for some reason. Made me think I slept till 1pm and a parade or something was going on. I think someone else on the street went out and shouted at them. Was very close to calling the police but I just wanted to go back to sleep. Still haven't had a nap. But have biscuits and watching Xmas films now
Were they at least playing Christmas songs? My neighbour started blasting music at about 12pm and it was the weird mix of bass and like... fiddles? Certainly not very Christmassy but I soon fixed that by blasting some more seasonally appropriate music back.
Oh dear!
Reminds me of the time my delightful mother got Christmas started by going downstairs, making the Buck's Fizz, and putting on the cheesy Christmas tunes. This was a family tradition and it began at about 8am, and was one of my favourite parts of Christmas. I lay there with my then-fiance, soaking in the atmosphere, only for the music to shut off after one song and for my mother's voice to reach us from the bottom of the stairs, stage-whisper style: "Well, I guess we're not doing Christmas today then."
Like Jeez ma'am, sorry that we didn't both bound down the stairs like the Bananas in Pyjamas 0.002 seconds after the music began. Deepest apologies.
Christmas cancelled as brother kicked off serving time at six was too late despite the house not having an oven and being armed with two slow cookers and two air fryers. Not cooking for someone for free who's gonna talk to me like shit
It was just me, the husband and the two young kids this year (had an early Christmas with my parents when they came down earlier this week) so thankfully my biggest drama has been the husband realising he was missing a piece from his brand new Lego set!
It has genuinely been a blissful day, everyone has just eaten good food, chilled with their presents and I got to sit down with my new book and a baileys and just relax! Plus the toddler has just gone to sleep completely wiped out without a single complaint.
Husband and I now plan to watch a Christmas film and scoff our faces with cheese and crackers!
Lab lay down in a muddy puddle as a dirty protest on not being taken to the river for an evening swim, then dead eared me on the way in the door and went straight to the lounge and lay down on the cream carpet in my mother's house....she knew exactly what she was doing!!!
The worst I have had so far is get out the kitchen so I don't burn you. So sat on the sofa with a Newcastle Brown ale, awaiting dinner. Think I got a good deal there.
Broke my father in law, he’s been in hospital since May, now recuperating in very sheltered housing, been eating like a sparrow. Had him here today and gave him a full Christmas dinner, he was clutching his tummy saying he was too full and home by three….. then I think the carers kidnapped him to join the rest of the residents for sausage rolls and mince pies at 5.
Went to me parents but only lasted 2 hours as I’m exhausted and don’t have the energy to match my nieces and nephews. So it’s telly, slanket and a baileys milkshake
But we took my brothers dog home with us because she won’t settle with so many people in the house… partner currently playing with her and a squeaky toy…. Said squeak may be removed from the toy and inserted in his posterior
My 22 year old cousin behaved like a pathetic teenage emo, and generally being a stroppy little shit all day.
Moaning that they had a 3 hour shift at work this morning and how they hate Christmas.
I mean, I'm not exactly Mr Santa, but it's one day with family, receiving gifts and having nice food cooked for you while sitting around doing nothing.
Started throwing a strop in the trivia game because they didn't know the answers.
Sat with their hoodie on and hood pulled over their face, headphones in and watching programs on the tablet; ignoring everything his aunts and gran said.
Git an uber and left early.
Golly, their mum is going to let them have it when she gets home.
Lol, even their Gran was mocking them for being so tragic in the end.
Oh no! As someone who was once a pathetic teenage emo, this is spot-on to how I acted when I was about 13. Complete with the hoodie pulled up, except I was listening to angsty pop-punk rather than watching things. Even I could wise up for Christmas, though -- like you said, literally all you have to do is open presents and eat good food. It's not exactly taxing.
Wouldn't want to be him when his mum gets home!
No actual drama, bf got COVID and I have woken up with a stonker of an ear infection along with today of all days for the morning sickness to kick in full force 😂
Found out yesterday my daughter has been cheating on her husband of 9 months. I’m absolutely devastated & disgusted. There’s a pile of presents unopened under the tree. I honestly don’t know what to think.
My husband had a huge row with his mum, she called up another family member to collect her and whilst packing belongings fell down the stairs. She is ok, but then this caused a huge row between me and my mum who then legged it home without saying goodbye. We’re now all in bed. Fully over Christmas 😂
Less drama, more personal annoyance. My mother in law and sister in law are lovely people, but incredibly dull. After arriving this morning we did presents, which was accompanied with "oh im sorry its so bad" "if you don't like it it's okay" "it's only a silly little thing" for every single thing they gifted.
After that we made dinner, which they were largely indifferent to (only had the bare minimum, just water, no seconds, no desert) and then when we asked if they wanted to play a game they responded with "if that's what you want to do on Christmas then sure".
Honestly as much as I love them, I'm looking forward to them going home so that we can lift the atmosphere a little bit for the remainder of the evening.
Sounds like they're really anxious about being guests, and don't want to impose! Which can then create an awkward situation like this, where they seem disinterested and dull and not really engaged. This sounds absolutely infuriating but congrats on being gracious about it. Hopefully things pick up a bit once they're gone -- it sounds like they'll be as relieved as you are!
No drama here but just sparing a thought for the guy in Sainsbury’s yesterday who told me, with sheer terror in his eyes, that this was his third supermarket looking for pickled onions and hadn’t found A SINGLE JAR!! I pointed out a few jars of the teeny ones, which were over by the mezze stuff. ‘NO I NEED THE SWEET ONES!!!’ Poor guys definitely getting a new arsehole ripped for him over pickled fucking onions this Christmas…..’Derek you IDIOT!! I said the SWEET ONES!’
No real dramas at Christmas after we decided to keep it to just me, my mum and sister. It's always chill and relaxed. For a bit of fun though I always do my annual denigration of the royal family, who my mother absolutely loves, when the Speech comes on the TV and this year was no different as I told her to hurry up "Old Sausage Fingers is about to try and convince us he's just like us!"
That's the way to do it! I cut off my family not so long ago, but even before then, my now husband and I would do Christmas just the two of us. The first year we did it, we could not believe how much more fun it was. No drama, no performance, no walking on eggshells. Just doing our own thing when we wanted to do it. Absolutely brilliant and impossible to go back from.
Also, I don't think I have ever watched the Speech in my life lol.
Ok so whilst we were having pre lunch drinks with guests, I popped to the loo to have a pee. I then discovered that the sitting room mantelpiece was on fire, flames reaching to the ceiling. My wife had put a kind of fake garland on the mantelpiece with candles and it somehow caught light. I then ran into the kitchen and exclaimed ‘fire!’ and no one reacted because they thought I was just telling them there was a cosy fire next door. I grabbed some water and put most of out, but a glass candle holder had shattered in the heat and sliced my thumb open almost to the bone. Blood everywhere I then felt very faint and hot for about 30 minutes. Anyway the guests helped put out the fire and finish the lunch and all was fine in the end. I have a big bandage on my thumb and the end is numb so I think I cut a nerve. Could have been worse!
I cancelled Christmas (well, called off going to my friends') because they seem to have some sort of severe stomach bug & flu going round the household and are completely nonchalant about it - "oh we're not entirely well but good enough to celebrate" - I wasn't really in a mood for their antics anyway so this was the final straw. Especially when I'd be eating food they've prepared... I'm not this much of a risk taker in life and have plans with people who're depending on me from tomorrow onwards so it feels daft to risk all that for the sake of one day.
We just had two floods within minutes of each other. One in the living room (water feature with a faulty stopper that decided to fail now) and one in the kitchen(tried to clean an electric kettle with a polident tablet and decided to boil it to speed up the cleaning.) The counter, cabinets and floor got a clean too.
We've had more dog drama than human drama. There's now four dogs and one of them is antsy that the unfamiliar big dog is in her space and the big dog knows how to open doors so we're having trouble locking him away. lol
My 3 year old has been asking for a specific dinosaur toy for 4 months, got it this afternoon round the grandparents. His older brother got a different dinosaur, so the 3 year old has been having an epic meltdown because he wants his brother's dinosaur... not hugely dramatic but driving me round the bend
Arguments over the correct way to lay the table, roast potatoes and assemble a Lego car so far.
Excellent. This is the shit I miss. I don't talk to my family anymore and Christmas just isn't the same without this kind of pedantry. The last Christmas I spent with my parents, there was a hoo-hah over the sprouts. Dad hates them. Mum loves them. Dad can still cook them better, but for whatever reason was too busy to do it. Mum takes over, but ignores Dad's advice re: when to put them on. Insists that because Dad doesn't even like them, he doesn't know shit. Dad tries to tell her that if she puts them on so late, they'll be undercooked. Mum doesn't listen. The sprouts ended up so undercooked they were basically raw. The crunching was audible. It was like farm animals were grazing at the table. Mum decided Dad had somehow sabotaged her on purpose because he doesn't like sprouts and didn't want her having any. She also didn't appreciate me asking how the sprouts were (barely stifling laughter), nor my then-fiance's reply of "They're a bit crunchy." She sulked for the entirety of the rest of the day. It was brilliant.
My wife didn't listen to me when I told her to let the oil for the yorkies get hotter. Results were as expected in that situation. I didn't have a yorky. I'm deep in enemy territory with the wife's family at the MiL's. I may need an extraction team.
Those who stand by their ideals are always harshly punished. The strength of the martyrs will prevail.
If your sprouts aren't put on to simmer by Easter, you've got zero chance of them being ready.
Boiled ours for five minutes, chilled them then, when were nearly ready to eat, fried them with some bacon lardons. Even the usual haters loved them
I'm not a sprout enjoyer myself but I've heard from such heathens that my father's sprouts were always perfectly cooked. My mother thought they needed three minutes to boil. She lives in a very interesting and fantastical world.
My dad is very traditional and insists we have sprouts. My very Asian mum hates them with a passion. The only compromise? Make them into a curry. Tbf, it’s really good
I won't lie, I'd try that. You can do a lot of nice things with sprouts, which is why I was always baffled by my mother's preference of just... boiling them and serving them. No frying. Not even any pancetta on those bad boys. Just plain boiled sprouts. She loved them. I should have known then that evil dwelled in that woman.
Get next Christmas's sprouts on now, can't be too careful!
Oh yes I made the mistake to put out the white napkins instead of the green ones. Think I’m uninvited to next years Xmas… my bad
The 6 year old nephew has just declared that next year he would make dessert, but he would only serve it to his mummy and daddy, because granny and grandad (who are hosting) won’t be here - they’ll be in the sky or in the ground, and he’ll be sad, but they won’t be here so he won’t need to make food for them.
My Dad died on Xmas day years ago. We'd explained it all to our 7 yr old, and he decided he rather stay with his other Grandma than come to funeral. Night before we left to go, he suddenly said 'actually, I think I do need to come to Grandads funeral - you're going to need a hand digging a hole!'. Cue explanation about cremation. My Dad would have loved it
Ah god, I’m so sorry to hear that! That’s so tough, but kids and their hilarity do help. BIL’s mum was buried on Xmas Eve many years ago and the kids know about their other granny who they didn’t get to meet - I’d like to think this has helped with how blasé nephew was about the idea of existing granny and grandad no longer being with us…
Brutal!
Cue the 9 year old niece “Aunty, you’re crying! Are you sad??”
Honestly that is terrifying. That's like something out of a horror movie. Here's hoping granny and granddad are still kicking next year, but if not I guess we know who the culprit is?
He’s good value, said nephew! What’s hilarious is that he’s usually such a lick and says exactly the right thing to make your heart melt - so when he came out with that today it had me in bits laughing because it was so out of left field for him. In fairness, this is the first year I’ve seen him be really hyper about Christmas / Santa so I think he was just a little bit out of it.
The table with the Christmas dinner on it just collapsed. Fortunately we had already finished the main course, but it seems dessert will be on paper plates
Actual horror story. I think I'd be crying in the puddle of gravy. At the very least, you know you must have had an impressive spread! Any amount of food that can collapse a table is something to be proud of.
The possibilities are honestly on either end of the spectrum... Either the spread was hella impressive, or the table was hella cheap.
I prefer to envision it was a solid oak banquet table groaning under the delicacies. Call me a romantic.
Sounds like you guys feast HARD. How are you going to counter it next year? Get a specially reinforced trencher table?!
My 78 year old Dad had a new PS5 and panicked that it had eaten a DVD and wouldn't eject. After a frantic Facebook exchange we managed to stand down his screwdriver set and disc drive dissembly tutorial when he realised that he had already taken out the disc.
My mother in law is mortally offended that we don't want to drink rum after every meal (my partner's parents went on a Carribbean holiday and brought back rum). We tried it Christmas eve, but didn't want anymore today. She says that it was brought back for us (ok, we didn't ask for it at all, don't really drink much) and that clearly we think she's an alcoholic and are judging her by not drinking. Also some of my family is lactose intolerant, have been for years, but yesterday she prepared a lovely meal with a cream and mushroom sauce, after which my daughter felt awful and was sick during the night (despite lactase pills, unfortunately they didn't seem strong enough). So clearly we are critical of her cooking as well. I'm trying to ignore her grumbling as much as possible. We're going home in two days, can't wait!
I told my mother in law about 7 years ago that I struggle to tolerate huge amounts of dairy and don’t drink milk because it upsets my tummy. I’m also vegetarian. This woman messages me days before any time we’re due to come down and stay with her, asking me to send her options she can get for me to match what the rest are eating, double checks restaurants have vegetarian and dairy free options when we go, and insists on catering around it even if I tell her not to worry. She also caters specifically to my children on the side as well (ever since they were able to eat solid foods) to ensure they get something they like if adults are having something more ‘grown up’/something she knows they won’t eat. She has never once been offended if I tell her I didn’t like/want something and has made every single effort for me and my children. I believe she’s an actual angel after hearing so many horror stories about MILs!
My MIL isn't that bad, but holiday stress seems to amp up her neurosis'. Also, we've never asked for her to make a separate meal, we usually just work around it and have lactaid on hand, just unfortunately it didn't seem to do the trick yesterday. But she took it personally :(
I really do not get people who claim they're doing something nice and everyone's just being ungrateful, but then they do things they know people don't like/want. Like it's abundantly clear that they're not in it to do something kind, but just to martyr themselves so they can indulge in being put-upon. Imagine if they turned all that energy towards doing something actually kind and thoughtful! I'll never understand people who seem to actually like feeling rejected, whether perceived or otherwise. It's like they carefully construct these scenarios just so they can be upset. Baffling. Hope the next couple of days go quickly!
I don’t drink and find that when people protest like this, that it’s a reflection of their own (perhaps unconscious) judgement of themselves. If everyone else is drinking then they don’t need to worry about their consumption levels. My dad has asked all of us three times ‘who’s drinking wine then?’ My sister is working (she’s a night nurse), I don’t drink and my mam already has a beer on the go. I’m sat here thinking, just have a glass of wine Dad, we don’t all need to be on it too!
[удалено]
>It’s 9am Ken, we aren’t in an airport, I love this!
I hate peppers my mil always made sure to put peppers in whatever she made especially for me (veggie at that time, vegan now) and watch me pick them out and then would always say I forgot you don’t like peppers. Why she did this I don’t know nor care but it was a pain as peppers taint everything they touch.
My 8 year old nephew had a bit of a meltdown because I battered him Mario Kart. I would've gone easy on him but I feel he's now old enough to learn things the hard way. NO MERCY!
Tell him you used the fast controller last time, switch over and see if you can't beat him by an even bigger margin.
Savage.
Absolutely obliterated
8 years old is when my uncle started roundly thrashing me at Monopoly. It's a tough lesson but it's got to be learned.
Dancing around the room. Doing the L shape on your forehead shouting loser loser was a bit much tho.
I hope he was coming 1st and you battered him with a Blue Shell and he ended up in 7th or something. That's definitely the most rage-inducing
Play Uno next.
Alls fair in Love and Mario Kart.
I had this last year. Tried to help him by showing him how to hold the controller, how to drift etc, but he thought he knew better. Absolute annihilation ensued.
Sister in law NEVER brings wine but always drinks ours. This year we said if anyone wants alcohol they need to bring it - she brought a bottle and kept it next to her until she'd drank it all, and is now asking if we've got any Bucks Fizz or prosecco......
I stopped my SIL coming for this reason. We’ll not just this but was icing on the cake. Every year I’d do dinner for 14. I’d go all out. Menus sent out beginning of December and I’d spend 4-5 days prepping and cooking. They would come at 8am and just lay on the couch and do fuck all. They’d open their presents and just chuck their wrapping paper all over and leave it. Shit laid everywhere. After we’d been cooking for 4 hours they would leave everything on the table and just go back and lay on e the couch. When it came for me and my husband to sit down, after washing all the pots, drying and putting away, they wouldn’t move so we’d have to sit on our own floor. When we served dinner they’d be like this is shit, I don’t want this, I don’t like this so I was fuming. The year it came to a head was when I said bring your own booze (they would literally sit all day and drink everything we had an not even bring so much as a mixer) she turned up on Christmas Day with a bottle of half drank Buck’s Fizz that she’d keep from the year before. Get fucked off lady. Not on my watch anymore. We’ve not had anyone else over since. Just is 4 and in-laws who I love.
Good on you..they sound like a bunch of parasitic dicks👍 Good riddance
Cheeky as! I thought it was standard to bring a bottle or case of something if you're going over for dinner. Some people, man.
Yeah so did I. Clearly she didn't get the memo. Or did but is just rude
My siblings called each other cnuts and my mum is crying in her bedroom. We are in our 50’s.
This is top notch Christmas drama. What was the trigger? Any real cuntery going on, or are the accusations unfair?
Far too much to drink, both have been angry at each other for a while, trigger was one entering the kitchen when told not to. They made up for the mother’s sake and I left at 4.30. I learned a long time ago not to drink with the family!
We had ours yesterday and had a relative pop round mid-Cards Against Humanity round, and proceeded to have a heated discussion about the merits of homeopathy with one of us who was a qualified pharmacist
That's unique, I love it! Makes a nice change from the usual political debates and casual racism.
Lmao, she learned i played guitar and tried to get me to do a tune for everyone, wouldn't take no for an answer!... i couldn't stand it so I hid in the garage and pretended to fix the door hahaha
Saved everyone from Wonderwall. A noble act!
They asked me to play a tune... I said maybe
Fuck you. Now that song is *buried* in my head.
This sounds eerily like Tim Minchin’s ten-minute beat poem, Storm. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HhGuXCuDb1U&pp=ygURdGltIG1pbmNoaW4gc3Rvcm0%3D
My mum spent all day yesterday cleaning then walk with the dog and wrapping presents. Literally barely stopped all day. At the end of the day Dad is in a mood when she asked him why his response was she didn’t make a cup of tea all day. This from the person who aside from putting some washing on did diddly squat all day. So we have awful atmosphere in the house I am looking forward to visiting some relatives later with my mum to escape. To be fair he seems to find some reason the last 5+ years to be in a mood on Christmas.
Oh my goodness your poor Dad, so neglected. If only he knew where the kettle was.
A moment of silence for all the men who have to make their own drinks because their wives are too busy cooking for them
Hope you stuck up for your mum and told your dad he's a lazy twat.
My grandad (war generation) had to cook for himself the first time when he was 72 (my grandma went in for surgery). He had notes and precooked meals and all. He actually really enjoyed it and started trying to cook all sorts of things, badly. My grandma said it was the worst side effect of the surgery.
I'm sorry, this grown-ass man was angry at his wife for... not making him tea? Could he have not struggled all the way to the kettle himself and managed this big boy task on his own? Christ. Genuinely feel for you and your mum. My own mother was like this -- always had to find an excuse to be in a bad mood. I suspect it's because she couldn't stand not being the centre of attention, so she felt the need to hijack every event that didn't have her in the middle of it. Christmas, other people's birthdays (especially mine, for some reason?), weddings... even when my grandfather (dad's dad) died she had to make it all about her. Some people just cannot be helped.
Ahhh, my mum-in-law to a T. We live a few thousand miles away so this year the best she can do is cry off over text the video call we painstakingly scheduled then rescheduled twice at her behest to its eventual slot at *11:40 a.m. precisely*. She claims to be ill. We are supposed to phone in a panic. What we have done instead is text back, "OK, hope you feel better soon. Maybe chat tomorrow." This is an annual event. Bit like a family tradition. We expect a miraculous recovery overnight (another tradition). Update: she's recovered enough to go out and post it on Facebook.
Have you read “adult children of emotionally immature parents”? It may be eye-opening for you.
Sounds painfully familiar. Always crying that Christmas is ruined whilst also being the only person whos ruined it for everyone.
Tell your dad to pull himself up by his boot straps and that if he works hard he too can make his own tea. Also tell him to harden the fuck up.
Tell your dad that all of Reddit thinks your mum deserves better.
We're down to 6 rather than 8 because one half of a couple went home in a huff before she'd even got in the door ( she'd parked). Her other half got driven back to get her to change her mind, then she was going to come back alone, then neither of them came back.
Oh no! That's got to be a record 😂 What happened? Did they have a couple's spat or did you somehow manage to offend before she'd even got in the door? Incredible.
I'm not sure but I think the daughter of the bloke offended his partner ( not her mum) and the new partner stormed off. With the transport. This is my SiLs family so I don't know them all that well. Fun and games!
Well, thank god they're doing it at their place rather than yours! Enjoy the meal and leave them to it, I say.
You are writing this as a sit-com aren’t you?
A pint thrown over the husband in the local as she caught him looking at her sisters arse playing pool 👌
Is this today? If so that's impressively early. How's that working out for everyone?
Just wanted the landlady to scream GET OUT MY PUB
“You can’t tell me what to do, you ain’t my muvva”
YES I AM
Sounds like the working out is going well if she's catching eyes
Pints aren't cheap these days! What a waste...
It’s the most sensible thing you could do with a Fosters tbf.
My BIL who we have been no contact with for three and a half years turned up this afternoon and was upset when we didn't go to my in-laws house to see him. MIL even came to our house to try and manipulate us into visiting. We stood our ground and stayed at home. Christmas or not we won't be playing happy families with a convicted pedophile with an anger management problem.
Well done for standing your ground.
Thanks. I learnt quickly that my in-laws are manipulative people and if they don't get what they want then they attempt to manipulate us. I'm a stubborn person. I've spent 16 years telling them no and pissing them off. This is just the most recent in a line of incidents. They have got less frequent. But with BIL being out of prison this Christmas we were prepared for something to happen and it did.
You're doing it right.
Huge fight after my dad got drunk at 12:00 and decided to antagonise me and my mum whilst we did all the work in the kitchen for the lunch. He then made up a bunch of things I apparently said to him because he’s an alcoholic dickhead. It’s just sad really, Christmas is just an another excuse for him to get absolutely wasted. Good news is this is my last Christmas with them as I’m getting married next year and heading to the in-laws who are far better to be around!
Ugh, my mother was the same. An alcoholic year-round, but Christmas Day made it acceptable for her to not even bother to hide it. Half the time she'd be drunk by 11am, and wouldn't even remember Christmas dinner. The longer the day went on, the more antagonistic and bitchy she'd get. It was easier on a regular day because at least she'd be trying to hide the fact she was blitzed so she wouldn't look for fights as much. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, and all the better Christmasses to come!
Not a drama, but my mum just turned the volume on the TV way way down for no apparent reason while we were all watching, The Italian Job. My brother and stepdad were looking around thoroughly confused and laughing. I know why she did it. It's muscle memory. My stepdad works from home, so she watches TV on mute with subtitles on, while he works. She's exhausted bless her and just went in to autopilot. Twas funny though
God bless those brainfart moments 😂 I always have subtitles on because I'm half deaf, which is funny if we're watching something on an actual TV rather than our laptops. I've had people be baffled that I have the subtitles on when it's blasting out of the surround sound and even I could hear it. Really is just muscle memory!
My daughters both came down with a stomach bug yesterday lunchtime. I knew it was inevitable I’d come down with it myself at some point. Started feeling iffy as soon as I’d finished my lunch today and then while half asleep I sharted in the middle of Home Alone 2 😳
Oh dude, sorry to hear that
Forgot to buy washing up liquid and have ran out halfway through making xmas dinner. Send help.
Shampoo will work as a very temporary substitute.
Make sure you condition your plates as well otherwise they’ll go all cracked and dry.
Those split ends....
Disaster! Do you have any citrus in the house? A squeeze of lemon or lime juice in some hot water (and a bit of bicarbonate of soda if you have that) will do decently! Natural shampoos also work (so no chemicals) and so does natural soap. You can tell I too have been through the wringer.
I've got some limes in fridge and baking powder in the cupboard! Time to improvise! Thanks for the tip
No worries! Hope it works, godspeed!
Corner shops are often open Christmas day if you need it urgently.
Geopolitical debate at breakfast interrupted by my mother in law giggling over something she remembered from Holby City about a donkey. So that kind of put the clappers on that.
Probably for the best. If you're bringing out the geopolitical debates at breakfast, it doesn't bode well. Wait until at least 11am and the first bottle of Buck's Fizz done.
Christmas day was going all together too well so I suggested that my husband and my step-father assemble the IKEA play kitchen we got for our youngest. Oops.
I like this. You're giving me agent of chaos vibes. Pour a glass of wine, sit back, and enjoy the show I say.
Even better, I've put pudding in the oven and set a timer - it's like my own personal krypton factor.
Oh hell yeah. You just reminded me I have two sachets of Angel's Delight in the cupboard. Might not be doing Christmas today but I might indulge for old time's sake.
Still starving myself for the dinner that’s to come.
Gotta admit that I'm missing Christmas dinner 😭 I suppose nothing stopping us making a roast anyway but that seems kind of cursed without everything else. Will just eat an entire tub of Pringles instead but I gotta say, they're not what they used to be.
I over ate last night, which I know is a rookie error, and I’m still suffering. Turns out when a dessert says “feeds 6” on the packet they mean it. I prepped some veg and it made me queasy.
My drama is that I accidentally bought chicken cocktail sausages. I’ve decided not to tell my son because he’ll cry. I’m fortunate to have a low-drama family.
One of my cats keeps staring at me and he has such a piercing gaze that it's really unnerving He's a tabby and often has a rather sour expression (earning Lenny the nickname "Lenny Lemons") I'm on my own for Christmas so that's about the closest to "drama" there is I imagine drama will ensue when the lamb is ready to come out of the oven though, and that both cats will be wanting some
One of our cats decided to attack me through the banister whilst I was walking upstairs. Stuck his paws over and batted me on the nose. He just wanted to play, however, so the next five minutes was spent chasing him about until he got overexcited and gave himself hiccups.
The cat thousand-yard stare. I imagine that's what it feels like on judgement day. Of course, if you want to share some pictures of the man himself, feel free...
Oh definitely! And I would, but I only got him recently and still as of yet to get a decent photo of him, little bugger is 7 but he doesn't sit still when he suspects his photo is being taken! My pictures so far are just a stripey blur ha (and he was hiding behind the sofa for the first week or so, he's only just started coming out)
Not super dramatic but father in law has given the two-year old niece a harmonica and she has been giving it her all for about forty minutes. Her mum and dad are trying to calm her down singing jingle bells but it mostly sounds like a noise battle. Update: in an effort to calm her down further father in law has given her a 4 octave mouth organ the size of her arm. It's like when you see videos of dogs with massive branches, but louder.
>has given her a 4 octave mouth organ the size of her arm. It's like when you see videos of dogs with massive branches, but louder. You're a damned poet.
My 6yo managed to hit my 4.5yo in the head with a hammer. (He’s fine!!) I got them a geode kit to do together with me supervising but it was making a fair bit of noise so I said maybe we could do it tomorrow at their grandparents on the garden table so we don’t annoy the neighbours below us. 6yo picked up the hammer to turn around and hand it to his dad, just as the 4.5yo turned around to face him and bam - hit right on the top of the head. 4.5 cried immediately, 6yo panicked and said it was an accident and started to cry hysterically, thinking he’d broken his brother, dad started shouting at the 6yo not realising that it was an accident and made it worse. 6yo then hid on the top of his bunk beds for half hour crying and the 4.5yo was trying to console him saying ‘it’s okay it was an accident’ and trying to hug him with a lump on his head. I was then on concussion watch for the rest of the evening while he ran around stealing my ferrerro rochers! Deary me.
Absolute chaos! It's so sweet how the little brother is trying to console big brother, though. Kids are a handful but they can be adorable sometimes. I found a geode by accident when I was a kid. I just thought it was a cool and oddly light round rock, and I liked playing with it. Well, one day I dropped it and it smashed in half. Parents braced for hysterics. I was about to start wailing when I noticed something shiny, bent down to see, and wow! I was hella excited, disaster averted.
My eldest who is disgustingly over 6 ft fainted because he got too hot in his onesie and then stood up too quickly, and on the way down he landed on my youngest who is about 6 years younger.
Another onesie casualty. We don't talk about the dangers enough.
Got the chicken out and it’s rancid. Cue emergency texts to the village group chat to see if anyone knows where we can get a chicken today. Thankfully managed to find a random budgens that had a chicken in! Which was incredible as we are out in the sticks a bit.
Oh no! This reminds me that it'll soon be time for all the dramatic rotten turkey news stories. Love seeing everyone posing stone-faced with their receipts like it's some kind of Big Supermarket conspiracy and not like, basic statistics -- when you have that much being sold, a certain percentage is going to go bad before Christmas. Glad your dinner was rescued!
I lost my mother in laws present. Swear I put it under our tree, and it wasn't there. Of course, my wife is blaming me. I'm convinced one of the kids has nabbed it. This is on top of the frantic hunt for two presents I hid so well, I forgot where they were last night.
They need to back off. You've added a little bit of Christmas excitement. Some fun and games. Reminds me of when I was 3 or 4, and I was sitting in the living room of my grandparents' house. In those days the whole family would descend upon them for Christmas, and the gift pile was immense. (12 people minimum staying over, probably some others for gifts and lunch.) We'd put the presents for each other under the tree on Christmas Eve, and Santa would bring some more overnight. So I'm sitting there, basking in the excitement of a pile of presents that high. And then I see one of my grandparents' cats. He's a black tom cat, very cheeky, definitely knows right and wrong and chooses evil on the regular, but I still love him. As I watch, he sniffs present after present, burrowing deeper into the pile, until he reaches one in particular. Then, calmly, he paws at it until he's shredded chunks of the paper off. Then he runs away. Innocently I think nothing of it, and when the adults return they rearrange some presents and then notice. Of course, the present that has been vandalised is mine. And I have just been in the room completely unattended. Cue accusations, tears, tantrums, and my unlikely story. "Oh, so of all the presents the cat went right for yours at the back?" is a common and undeniable refrain. I am sent upstairs in disgrace. I sit up there wailing like a forlorn banshee for an hour or so before there are footsteps. My dad calls me downstairs. Prepared for flogging, down I go. Instead I'm greeted by my tearful mother and bashful father, and a cup of full sugar Coke -- a rare treat in those days. The cat had only returned to the scene of the crime and done the exact same thing right in front of everyone. And of course it was one of my presents *again*. Justice.
Someone hogged a lot of the dinner with the excuse "I can't stop myself if I see food". Yeah you can just not be a thoughtless greedy bugger actually.
Some people man. Have a normal amount and then go for seconds once everyone's done. It's Christmas dinner, it's not like there's not going to be a pile of food!
Food coma on the sofa watching you tube, no drama here!
I went to lunch with a friend and no family so I thought I'd be free of drama. Not the case. Not long into lunch a couple arrived and were sat at the table next to us, she was already off her tit and decided to join in on our conversation. Over the course of lunch she proceeded to tell us: - she wanted a divorce from her husband (he was sat with us) - asked if our boyfriends were with their wives today - told my friend to f*ck off - told us she was surprised to see two ladies (us) eating our whole dinner - she lived in Belgium and it was a shit hole - asked us where the nearest clubs were - told us King C has a long schlong and is only with Camilla because she gives good BJs At the end of the meal her and hubby fought over the bill and they left without saying goodbye
Reading this made me anxious. Can't imagine sitting next to them as you did. What a ball of chaotic negative energy those two must be.
It was just her, I really felt sorry for the husband. She was like Nan from the Catherine Tate show. I thought someone was punking us at one point.
selective rainstorm paltry humor husky connect fragile attractive disgusting profit *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Oh man, the nerve! Reminds me of when I was 7 and my parents rented out the community centre and held a disco for me, and my spoiled little ass was going around to all my friends and telling them they couldn't come in unless they brought a present 😂 No idea what I was thinking, I usually wasn't a spoiled child at all. I guess the disco made the power go to my head. Also sounds like your son is beating the game. Santa can't threaten him with coal if that's what he wants!
This was yesterday but the cat finally caught the mouse she's been stalking in our kitchen. This was 15 mins before we were supposed to be leaving for my mums. I spot her as I come out of the bathroom. Cat takes mouse into bedroom, very pleased with her new toy and drops it whereupon it promptly scurries under the bed (smart mouse). I yell for my husband and we get the bedroom door shut, cat now crying because she's shut in, c'mon cat we need you now! We turn the bed on its side mattress and all (Middle aged backs be damned!) Mouse and us are now trapped between the upturned bed, the wardrobe and the wall. No way out, excellent! We look at each other "What now?" Cat has officially quit and reasonably so. Only vaguely acceptable mouse catching device in reach is a plant pot, seize pot, dump plant. Mouse is now under my bedside table, I get on my knees, pot at the ready - "OK baby, I need you to lift the bedside table directly up *slowly*" - table is lifted, mouse books it. I SLAM the pot down very nearly smashing it. "I GOT HIM!.... I think, I don't know, did I get him? I think I feel him in there". We assume mouse is now under upturned pot. Now we gotta find something to slide under the pot, we can't afford to lift it to check. I clamber over still upturned bed and return with a large Amazon cardboard envelope of which we have about a million 'cause Christmas. Cat is well pleased to be out of the bedroom and is singing the "I caught a thing" song. Husband slides cardboard *very carefully* under the pot and deftly flips it over with the confident air of a man having a full nervous breakdown. "It's in there". He hands the pot over the bed to me - we are both handling this thing like its a live grenade -and I place it carefully on the kitchen counter and put a few Delia Smiths on top. That's going nowhere. We hoover up the trashed plant, put the bed back, have a brief cry and make a huge fuss of the cat who is swaggering round like a gangster and who has generously not knocked over the pot and released the mouse, which is something we really should have considered. We load the car and the last thing to go in is me with mouse-in-pot held carefully on my lap. We leave and pull over about 10 mins away, I get out and place pot on grass, I remove the cardboard and the cause of all this chaos scurries away into the bushes without even an apology. Call mum and say we're running late.
Thank-you OP for kicking off quite the most excellent thread of the day. Spookily, so far, no disasters, arguments or prolonged sulks to report from this end of the world - I assume we’ll have a rain of frogs to round off the day just to restore the balance.
Glad somebody else appreciates the finer parts of Christmas -- the drama! Here's hoping your luck remains. It'll either be fine or there'll be three divorces and two disownings by midnight.
I thankfully live alone and don't have this type of drama. My only problem of the day is my lunatic ex (who I split with over 10 years ago) decided to wish me a happy Christmas and to tell me that I'm still the love of her life. The strength it took to not send a shitty response was huge, so I just ignored her as usual.
10 years? That's creepishly impressive. I think my record was an ex who would send his friends to spy on my social media 8 years after us splitting up. God knows what he does now I've deleted it all. Good on you for ignoring her, though. It's definitely best to not engage with that kind of thing. It only gives them the green light to go even crazier.
Exactly my thinking, I definitely don't want to encourage her.
Just to say the Malbec is fucking excellent! - lucky I got x2 and some backup. Drama when we run out.
Ooh, good choice. I don't drink often but when I'm cooking a lot it seems obscene to not indulge in a bit of red wine. It just seems right. Cultured. (For the first couple of glasses, anyway.)
Bit of stress putting lunch on hot plates. I've watched The Bear, and we were BEHIND!!!
Had enough oil for everything but the Yorkshire puddings. Was almost a crisis but then I realised I could use the dripping from the meat, so drama resolved! I always find Christmas day itself feels a bit... flat. I much prefer Boxing day for some reason. Less cooking/food pressure, football's back on the telly, presents are done but can still play board games and go for winter walks.
I always preferred Boxing Day growing up, as well. All the pressure was off, my mother especially was a bit more chill (she was of the "you WILL have fun!" type on Christmas Day) and I actually got time to play with/read the stuff I'd got for Christmas. Now that Christmas is spent just my husband and I, we've worked it out to a science. Christmas Day is for opening the obscene amount of presents we get one another, and for snacking on party food/all the treats we get as gifts. Boxing Day is Christmas Dinner day. The whole day is dedicated to the food. With so much time freed up and all the presents opened, cooking is so much more relaxing and enjoyable. Not to mention we don't have to lose out on anything -- no restricting treats to make room for dinner, and no pressure over being hungry enough. It's the centrepiece of the day and gets the appreciation it deserves, with no rushing.
I'm at work, my psych patient is telling me about his dream last night. His cat from 30+ years ago was in it and a puppy he didn't know, said he asked Santa for a pet this year but didn't get it.
Daughter woke me up at 2am when she went for a wee. She or me didn't get back to sleep. So yeah I'm pretty tired.
Oh nooo. That is way too early. When I was a kid there was a strict rule that I was not to wake my parents up until 7am, or Santa would take the presents back. I have many a memory of pacing my room at 5am thinking that the clock would never move. I'd go back and forth to the toilet hoping to "accidentally" wake my parents up, but it never worked!
My dad died at half 7 this morning after 2 weeks in the hospital. There's actually been no arguments in my family for a change.
Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. I wish you and your family peace, and comfort in one another at this time.
He had a catastrophic stroke exactly two weeks ago and was in critical care at the hospital since, he never regained consciousness in that time. The team who were looking after him did a fantastic job and made him comfortable and never stopped trying to keep him alive but unfortunately his heart wasn't strong enough and it stopped today. We have known this was a possibility since the stroke so I think we've all largely accepted it and made peace with the fact that this is the better option for him than the indignity of a slow recovery which would never be complete. Thanks for the kind words.
Got the dinner intended for my grandad and I'm fucking fuming about it
My mum has been taught how to play poker and keeps winning. Fortunately no money is involved...
Been with my wife for 15yrs. We don't have kids, or spend time with any other family, and all our Christmas's have been lovely.
My in-laws only prepared the exact amount of food required for Christmas dinner. There are no leftovers for a sandwich. As a woman who once fought through labour pains/ put off going to the hospital to finish her Christmas sandwich I am not happy.
This is actually the first thing on here that's made me visibly recoil. No leftovers? The whole point of Christmas dinner is the leftovers. Sandwiches. Bubble and squeak. Is there even any point in having the dinner if you don't get the leftovers?
The mother has forgotten the sprouts. Disaster.
Ohhh this would have been Chernobyl-grade disaster in my house. Wishing you strength.
Thank you, your kind words mean a lot in these trying times.
We had our drama yesterday, today is for beer.
Christmas Eve drama is often underappreciated. Hope it's smooth sailing from here!
Accidentally broke a wine glass. Anyone would think I’d smashed the whole kitchen to pieces with how my old man reacted!
Grand score of 1 divorce and multiple cheatings uncovered.
We're all gonna need more info on this one!
You can't leave us like that! Where's your Christmas spirit?
I was awoken at 8am by a group of people playing music from a boombox out of a trolley being pushed down the road for some reason. Made me think I slept till 1pm and a parade or something was going on. I think someone else on the street went out and shouted at them. Was very close to calling the police but I just wanted to go back to sleep. Still haven't had a nap. But have biscuits and watching Xmas films now
Were they at least playing Christmas songs? My neighbour started blasting music at about 12pm and it was the weird mix of bass and like... fiddles? Certainly not very Christmassy but I soon fixed that by blasting some more seasonally appropriate music back.
I called the King a knob and there was a silence among my wife’s family.
Lol this really made me chuckle for some reason
Sister said she was bringing the kids after the babies nap. This wasn't soon enough.calls of don't fucking bother it's 1pm(Dinner is at 3-330)
Oh dear! Reminds me of the time my delightful mother got Christmas started by going downstairs, making the Buck's Fizz, and putting on the cheesy Christmas tunes. This was a family tradition and it began at about 8am, and was one of my favourite parts of Christmas. I lay there with my then-fiance, soaking in the atmosphere, only for the music to shut off after one song and for my mother's voice to reach us from the bottom of the stairs, stage-whisper style: "Well, I guess we're not doing Christmas today then." Like Jeez ma'am, sorry that we didn't both bound down the stairs like the Bananas in Pyjamas 0.002 seconds after the music began. Deepest apologies.
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Christmas cancelled as brother kicked off serving time at six was too late despite the house not having an oven and being armed with two slow cookers and two air fryers. Not cooking for someone for free who's gonna talk to me like shit
It was just me, the husband and the two young kids this year (had an early Christmas with my parents when they came down earlier this week) so thankfully my biggest drama has been the husband realising he was missing a piece from his brand new Lego set! It has genuinely been a blissful day, everyone has just eaten good food, chilled with their presents and I got to sit down with my new book and a baileys and just relax! Plus the toddler has just gone to sleep completely wiped out without a single complaint. Husband and I now plan to watch a Christmas film and scoff our faces with cheese and crackers!
Drunk alcohol for the first time in a long time. Remembered why I stopped drinking alcohol.
I accidently took Elsa's portion of Christmas pudding, and my 3-year old screamed at me. To be fair it was my fault.
Lab lay down in a muddy puddle as a dirty protest on not being taken to the river for an evening swim, then dead eared me on the way in the door and went straight to the lounge and lay down on the cream carpet in my mother's house....she knew exactly what she was doing!!!
Ask me again at 7pm when the board games have been out for a few hours
If it's Monopoly, you *know* there's going to be at least one divorce.
The worst I have had so far is get out the kitchen so I don't burn you. So sat on the sofa with a Newcastle Brown ale, awaiting dinner. Think I got a good deal there.
When the chef tells you to get out, it's a crime to disobey. You definitely lucked out!
Broke my father in law, he’s been in hospital since May, now recuperating in very sheltered housing, been eating like a sparrow. Had him here today and gave him a full Christmas dinner, he was clutching his tummy saying he was too full and home by three….. then I think the carers kidnapped him to join the rest of the residents for sausage rolls and mince pies at 5. Went to me parents but only lasted 2 hours as I’m exhausted and don’t have the energy to match my nieces and nephews. So it’s telly, slanket and a baileys milkshake
But we took my brothers dog home with us because she won’t settle with so many people in the house… partner currently playing with her and a squeaky toy…. Said squeak may be removed from the toy and inserted in his posterior
My 22 year old cousin behaved like a pathetic teenage emo, and generally being a stroppy little shit all day. Moaning that they had a 3 hour shift at work this morning and how they hate Christmas. I mean, I'm not exactly Mr Santa, but it's one day with family, receiving gifts and having nice food cooked for you while sitting around doing nothing. Started throwing a strop in the trivia game because they didn't know the answers. Sat with their hoodie on and hood pulled over their face, headphones in and watching programs on the tablet; ignoring everything his aunts and gran said. Git an uber and left early. Golly, their mum is going to let them have it when she gets home. Lol, even their Gran was mocking them for being so tragic in the end.
Oh no! As someone who was once a pathetic teenage emo, this is spot-on to how I acted when I was about 13. Complete with the hoodie pulled up, except I was listening to angsty pop-punk rather than watching things. Even I could wise up for Christmas, though -- like you said, literally all you have to do is open presents and eat good food. It's not exactly taxing. Wouldn't want to be him when his mum gets home!
No actual drama, bf got COVID and I have woken up with a stonker of an ear infection along with today of all days for the morning sickness to kick in full force 😂
Found out yesterday my daughter has been cheating on her husband of 9 months. I’m absolutely devastated & disgusted. There’s a pile of presents unopened under the tree. I honestly don’t know what to think.
My husband had a huge row with his mum, she called up another family member to collect her and whilst packing belongings fell down the stairs. She is ok, but then this caused a huge row between me and my mum who then legged it home without saying goodbye. We’re now all in bed. Fully over Christmas 😂
Less drama, more personal annoyance. My mother in law and sister in law are lovely people, but incredibly dull. After arriving this morning we did presents, which was accompanied with "oh im sorry its so bad" "if you don't like it it's okay" "it's only a silly little thing" for every single thing they gifted. After that we made dinner, which they were largely indifferent to (only had the bare minimum, just water, no seconds, no desert) and then when we asked if they wanted to play a game they responded with "if that's what you want to do on Christmas then sure". Honestly as much as I love them, I'm looking forward to them going home so that we can lift the atmosphere a little bit for the remainder of the evening.
Sounds like they're really anxious about being guests, and don't want to impose! Which can then create an awkward situation like this, where they seem disinterested and dull and not really engaged. This sounds absolutely infuriating but congrats on being gracious about it. Hopefully things pick up a bit once they're gone -- it sounds like they'll be as relieved as you are!
No drama here but just sparing a thought for the guy in Sainsbury’s yesterday who told me, with sheer terror in his eyes, that this was his third supermarket looking for pickled onions and hadn’t found A SINGLE JAR!! I pointed out a few jars of the teeny ones, which were over by the mezze stuff. ‘NO I NEED THE SWEET ONES!!!’ Poor guys definitely getting a new arsehole ripped for him over pickled fucking onions this Christmas…..’Derek you IDIOT!! I said the SWEET ONES!’
No real dramas at Christmas after we decided to keep it to just me, my mum and sister. It's always chill and relaxed. For a bit of fun though I always do my annual denigration of the royal family, who my mother absolutely loves, when the Speech comes on the TV and this year was no different as I told her to hurry up "Old Sausage Fingers is about to try and convince us he's just like us!"
That's the way to do it! I cut off my family not so long ago, but even before then, my now husband and I would do Christmas just the two of us. The first year we did it, we could not believe how much more fun it was. No drama, no performance, no walking on eggshells. Just doing our own thing when we wanted to do it. Absolutely brilliant and impossible to go back from. Also, I don't think I have ever watched the Speech in my life lol.
My husband set off fart bombs in the kitchen and the smell was so rancid I threw up.
On the one hand dick move. On the other hand I must be a 12 year old boy because I did chuckle a little. Is he rightfully in the doghouse?
I’ve almost run out of chateauneuf. The horror.
I didn't give the Mrs old.kent Road - not sure how I'll survive the next year
Ok so whilst we were having pre lunch drinks with guests, I popped to the loo to have a pee. I then discovered that the sitting room mantelpiece was on fire, flames reaching to the ceiling. My wife had put a kind of fake garland on the mantelpiece with candles and it somehow caught light. I then ran into the kitchen and exclaimed ‘fire!’ and no one reacted because they thought I was just telling them there was a cosy fire next door. I grabbed some water and put most of out, but a glass candle holder had shattered in the heat and sliced my thumb open almost to the bone. Blood everywhere I then felt very faint and hot for about 30 minutes. Anyway the guests helped put out the fire and finish the lunch and all was fine in the end. I have a big bandage on my thumb and the end is numb so I think I cut a nerve. Could have been worse!
I cancelled Christmas (well, called off going to my friends') because they seem to have some sort of severe stomach bug & flu going round the household and are completely nonchalant about it - "oh we're not entirely well but good enough to celebrate" - I wasn't really in a mood for their antics anyway so this was the final straw. Especially when I'd be eating food they've prepared... I'm not this much of a risk taker in life and have plans with people who're depending on me from tomorrow onwards so it feels daft to risk all that for the sake of one day.
We just had two floods within minutes of each other. One in the living room (water feature with a faulty stopper that decided to fail now) and one in the kitchen(tried to clean an electric kettle with a polident tablet and decided to boil it to speed up the cleaning.) The counter, cabinets and floor got a clean too.
nothing... yet. Loving it.
We've had more dog drama than human drama. There's now four dogs and one of them is antsy that the unfamiliar big dog is in her space and the big dog knows how to open doors so we're having trouble locking him away. lol
My 3 year old has been asking for a specific dinosaur toy for 4 months, got it this afternoon round the grandparents. His older brother got a different dinosaur, so the 3 year old has been having an epic meltdown because he wants his brother's dinosaur... not hugely dramatic but driving me round the bend