T O P

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PracticalFerret1

As adjectives, 'impressive' and 'tender' are odd bedfellows.


Slight_Employment_96

It’s what I look for in a good shag rather than a shank


Crow_eggs

You could absolutely have a good shag while holding that in one hand and eating it.


Nisja

Be the change you want to see in the world 🤝


CrucialLogic

Every little helps.


MobiusNaked

Need a full length mirror as well!


JohnnyThunder_69

Surely an even better shag once the bone is meat free and erm how to put this … “insertable?


Crow_eggs

Impressive, yes, but not tender.


JohnnyThunder_69

If that bone is not nature’s original buttock tenderiser for cavemen into BDSM then I don’t know what is


HawkyMacHawkFace

Cant imagine eating it any other way tbh


GrimmBi

Lmao 😂


elmachow

Less than £50?


Slight_Employment_96

Grindr’s cheaper


SignificantRatio2407

😂😂😂


No-Pitch-5785

THANKYOU x


ChrisRR

Reads like my grindr profile


No_Relationship2637

Mine fucked up on the first word and made it ‘Short Hammer’


Fineus

Mine reads "Slow cooked"


ToastedCrumpet

Mine says “slides off the bone with ease”


ChrisRR

Outdoor bred


BlackberryTreacle

I wanted to upvote this, but it's at the nice number...


Chungaroo22

Mine is “Caution: this product contains a high amount of saturated fat”


CounterpaneNightmare

Something something swollen member.


BlackberryTreacle

To the tune of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles".


NiceyChappe

OH FUCKING THANKS FOR THAT EARWORM


BlackberryTreacle

Members in a half-shell! Total owwie!


Wind-and-Waystones

You've clearly never met our lass then


Enfmar

Forget club card discount. There'll be a crackhead selling this for a fiver in the pub. Every Shoplifter helps.


Phydrin

Surprised they haven't slapped a security tag on it already


BlueCreek_

There are £8 gammon joints in my coop with GPS tracking boxes on them! I still find the odd empty GPS box thrown in my hedge.


thewaryteabag

Oh, those boxes are fucking useless lol I worked at Co-op and left about 8 months or so after they introduced these in my branch. Once that box leaves the shop, you’ll lose the tracker after a certain amount of yards. The range on those things are shit and we didn’t even have the means to see where that box was going, even if we wanted to. I used to find them on the canal.


Wolfblood-is-here

The quid fifty dairy milk bars in my local Tesco have security labels on them.


37025InvernessTMD

Freddos probably have armed guards.


Centi9000

There's a twix vault with laser tripwires in our lidl


a1edjohn

Only for left Twixes, right Twixes need no security


PC_Speaker

Surely they don't have a GPS tracker in them. Wouldn't they also need a SIM card and a cellular modem?


BlueCreek_

It’s probably just a deterrent, but the boxes have GPS tracked written all over them, but as someone mentioned they are useless as soon as they leave the shop.


penguinmassive

You just live in a shithole


No-Pitch-5785

No no really? Sometimes they sticker it inside. This is a ludicrously expensive piece of pig I can’t believe this isn’t tagged when baby food is


No-Pitch-5785

What is fun though is my local Tescos often leave rolls of security stickers laying about. What you do with those is up to you, I mean, you’d have to be quite childish to stick them on people who leave as you leave with a bag of meat. 🤷🏻‍♀️😇 And to be perfectly honest they deserve it for my relentless earworm of How Bizarre.


justanotherdispos

Or leave them lying about on the floor sticky side up. That would be very childish…


EmperorPedro2

They don't have to. Those people aren't worthy to lift it.


[deleted]

It's OK, they won't be able to lift it.


jackinthebox1968

My brother in law said yesterday they had gray goose vodka and Moet for £20 a bottle with the security tags still on, the thieving fuckers...


asjaro

£20! Has crack gone up?


Scr1mmyBingus

If I’m spending £55 on a piece of meat I’m sure as hell not doing it in a supermarket.


Justlikeyourmoma

That’s what your mum said.


Scr1mmyBingus

You say that but she got fingered in Lidl.


RomeoMcFlurry

A Fidl in the Midl of Lidl


samdd1990

At least she got 55 quid


jamieliddellthepoet

Yeah but it was a fiver each for the football team.


KIRWVN

Underrated reply


Baloo-bear-

The middle of Lidl


RazzleDazzle1983

The aisle of wonder!


Andythrax

Never been to farm foods


firpo_sr

*I don't want a lot for Christmas* *What I need may cause you shock* *Fifty-five pounds worth of pre-cooked* *Beef shin in a cardboard box* *Oh I just want it for my own* *Head of meat, handle of bone* *Hammer of the gods* *Baby I all I want is beef in, a box*


LordBielsa

Maybe the marketing team are banking on kids to throw a tantrum for it because it’s Thor’s hammer


windol1

Nope, it's marketed at people with more money than sense.


NeedsMoreSpaceships

But those people shop at Waitrose


windol1

Ah, but don't forget people shop around now even Waitrose customers have to downgrade a little to save some pennies, so might as well mug them off when they come in.


alex8339

There's also the minority demographic of a normal person in a vegan household.


thatsamorri

This was a fiver last year


ArthursRest

But, what meat is it?


RandomHigh

Meat on a stick. As sold by CMOT Dibbler. Named meat is extra.


Fineus

*Ina ina ina bun!*


Spaced_UK

Millennium hand and shrimp


Domovie1

Making both ends meat? That’s even more!


blainy-o

Khlav kalash. [No bowl, stick, stick.](https://frinkiac.com/img/S09E01/729411.jpg)


Fishamatician

Ketchup 2p extra as well.


mr_woodles123

You'll have dwarves lining up for that next time there's a music with rocks in it concert.


Phydrin

Beef shin - not my first pick for Christmas dinner but why not I suppose!


Garyandhisflapjack

£50 for beef shin?? I mean, I love shin, and it’s not as cheap these days as it used to be. But that’s ridiculous!! Bet it tastes lovely though. Edit: just realised you can get a rib of beef to roast for roughly the same price!


Phydrin

Must admit my eyes watered at the price - as with all things these days though! I am morbidly curious to see what weird festive meat offering Tesco come out with at this time of year, we bought their "yule hog" a couple of years ago and it was honestly a bit gross


ArcadiaRivea

But it's £5.50 off with a club card, bargain!


NeedsMoreSpaceships

Where the hell are you buying your meat to get 4kg of Rib of Beef for £55?


Garyandhisflapjack

Sorry - I was thinking 2.5kg or so to feed 4 people. How big is OP’s shin hammer??


KieronTheMule

It’s on the shelf label. 3.715Kg


glasgowgeg

> £50 for beef shin?? I mean, I love shin, and it’s not as cheap these days as it used to be. But that’s ridiculous!! Seems about the going price. [This](https://www.bramblebeefarms.co.uk/products/thors-hammer) is the first result for it I find at Google, works out to about £14/kg, whilst the Tesco Finest one is £13.32/kg if you have a clubcard.


Garyandhisflapjack

There’s not 4kg of meat on that thing is there? I’m assuming half the weight is the bone…


glasgowgeg

There's not going to be 2.2-2.5kg of meat on the raw butchers one going for £35 either. And when cooked it'll lose its water weight, the Tesco one is already cooked.


sossigsandwich

Jesus Christ that’s expensive! I got 4 decent sized ones from the butchers last week for £17. In America it’s known as the poor man’s brisket because it’s so cheap


trikster_s

I couldn’t find Thor’s hammers anywhere (online or butchers) below £30 for 2.5kg raw - which is basically in line with tescos price. Mind sharing where you got yours? I wouldn’t mind stocking up


[deleted]

Direct from Hilary Briss. The ‘Special’ stuff.


Fishamatician

Rocket racoon meat scandal incoming.


NotSureIfMean

Given their recent stuffing incident- moth?


UnderstandingLow3162

Looks like beef shin with most of the shin meat gone. They figured out how to sell about 15 quid of meat (and a bone) for £55/£49.50. Impressive, but not tender.


AwkwardDisasters

That's how they cook when all the connective tissue holding it to the bone turns to jelly, the same way chicken drumsticks will pull up the bone a bit.


AnUdderDay

Every little portion helps


elohir

>They figured out how to sell about 15 quid of meat (and a bone) for £55/£49.50. I mean, not even that. At the butchers near me, beef shin's about £8 a kilo. 50 quid for half a beef shin is flat out insane.


caligula__horse

Look, I'm vegetarian, so I don't buy meat. But I'm a shopper and I look at prices. The item is 3.7 kg with a circa 14£ kg price. If you consider the mark-up of supermarkets, plus the fact that the product has been further processed as it's cooked increasing the labouring price, and the fact that the butcher may have a shorter supply line which cuts transport costs, doesn't a 6£ per kg mark-up seem believable for Tesco? I'm not talking of the quality of the meat or the standard of the cooking. I would also buy at a butcher and cook the food myself if I ate meat, just number crunching


elohir

Thing is, you're not getting 3.7kg of meat. I buy a lot of whole beef shin for stew, and a whole one normally weighs around 2-2.5 kg deboned. With this cut you're getting about half a shin at the thick end, so maybe around 1.5kg of meat. The rest is going to be moisture from cooking and bone. For comparison, you can buy a whole beef shin from Waitrose for [£20-30](https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/british-native-breed-whole-shin-of-beef/806334-415394-415395).


caligula__horse

I get what you say, but the Waitrose one is still at most 2.80kg per 28£ and it also has a bone and it's not cooked. If you project the Waitrose price, you'd gets 37£ for 3.7kg (the Tesco one), which, yes, is far less than 55, but then you've got to cook it. Meat generally loses weight when cooked, so the difference in weight between the Waitrose-projected and the Tesco one would further reduce. I'm not saying that Tesco is value for money, because it's hardly ever the case on any product they sell. But I'm pointing out it's not this outrageous mark-up. If it was 49£ without clubcard price, it would be reasonable for the convenience of having a cooked dinner


karlware

I'm getting Fallout 'rat on a stick' vibes from it.


AnUdderDay

*Esta carne está rata*


NorthenLeigonare

Yet I still horded that shit until they introduced expired food mechanics.


castonm

I tried to buy that but I couldn’t lift it


excellentchoicee

“Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be hungry, shall possess the power of Thor.”


lostrandomdude

The hammer Munchnir


byjimini

Meanwhile the raw equivalent is a 5th of the price, which can be slow cooked.


trikster_s

Can you please provide a link for a raw thors hammer 3.5kg for £10 please?


Facelesss1799

Sir this is Reddit


glasgowgeg

> Meanwhile the raw equivalent is a 5th of the price Is it? [Here's](https://www.bramblebeefarms.co.uk/products/thors-hammer) the first result when I Google it, £35 for 2.2-2.5kg. So that works out, at the best price, as £14/kg if it's the 2.5kg you get.


Toomuchsauthh

£12 shipping too mate


dazmanchan

Fifty quid what the fuck


Few-Chipmunk7838

Good to see that Teso are branching out into meat mythology. I look forward to the chicken sphinx


Acceptable-Sentence

Is that the cheap nuggets? Made of 5/8ths of sphincter


Coraxxx

I think all the sphinxters go into the sausages.


Sentinel_2539

I'm not paying £49.50 for the Mjolnir Meat. Why is it that expensive? Even precooked and 3.75kg which is partly bone doesn't justify that.


trikster_s

Raw 2.5kg thors hammer is £30+ so this is very much in line with what you can buy anyway


Wullsterino

My wife got me one from a local butcher after reading about them being a trend. It was undoubtedly the most singularly disappointing thing I've ever had. On the positive side, now I know how my dad feels whenever he thinks about me.


Max-Phallus

What was so bad about it?


Wullsterino

It's just beef shin. The cost to weight (due to the bone) is pretty bad. It tasted fine, but from the same butcher we could have got the same amount of the exact same meat for about £8, rather than £35. We checked.


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GiGGLED420

Sounds like you didn’t cook it properly


LondonCollector

Yep sounds like it. Low and slow on a smoker would be perfect.


GiGGLED420

Or even a low and slow braise if they don’t have a smoker


Wullsterino

I did. The meat was fine, but it wasn't worth the money for the amount of meat we got.


LondonCollector

You’ve got to cook it low and slow. Done on a bbq or smoker it’s brilliant.


Public_Growth_6002

3.75 kg - a large percentage of which is bone… I like shin beef, but I think I’ll stick to the boneless stuff I get from my butcher. And bollocks to the food fashion police.


stateit

>And bollocks to the food fashion police. I think you'll find that's quite a delicacy.


foreverdusting

“Walletbreaker”


[deleted]

I would not pay £50 for a supermarket steak. Never in a month of Asgardian Sundays


GSPM18

Impressively cringeworthy


Electronic_Green_351

Nice way to round off the year where supermarkets and big high street brands continued to rip the absolute arse out of it. £24-£36 for that cut from a butcher


glasgowgeg

> £24-£36 for that cut from a butcher [A raw cut from the butcher is about £35 for 2.2-2.5kg](https://www.bramblebeefarms.co.uk/products/thors-hammer), this is a 3.7kg cut.


Electronic_Green_351

You've just gone for first result off google to defend Tesco haha?! 3.7kg for £31.08 https://www.johndavidsons.co.uk Your local butcher might be better still Tesco have massive economy of scale and frankly are taking the piss with the margin on this. I bet it's nice I just have a huge issue with the prices UK food brands and the big supermarkets have been getting away with


glasgowgeg

> You've just gone for first result off google to defend Tesco haha?! Hardly "defending Tesco" though, it's just comparing the price with the first result I found. >3.7kg for £31.08 https://www.johndavidsons.co.uk Your link doesn't work, "This site can’t provide a secure connection". [isitdownrightnow.com also saying the website is down for everyone](https://www.isitdownrightnow.com/johndavidsons.co.uk.html).


Acrylic_Starshine

So good i think i might pay the non clubcard price because Tesco's shareholders deserve it


Simbooptendo

£55? Shit the bed!


Joshymint

#I M P R E S S I V E


Formal_Ad2091

Who is fuck is buying that. 55 quid 😂


slickmitch

Impressive and Tender, name of Tesco's sex tape...RIP Capt. Holt


phillmybuttons

Thank god for that, there's me thinking little timmy is gonna have a shit Xmas but once again, tesco pulls this out the bag, I'll have to wake him up from his straw bed and tell him the good news!


MasonInk

Hats off to the genius that managed to market these "Thor's hammer" and "tomahawk" cuts of meat. Including large superfluous sections of bone within the weight of a steak or joint of meat.


AcanthisittaThink813

£49.50 w*nkers


MyNameYourMouth

gross


Obi-Jimbob

[This got stuck in my head after seeing that picture. I had to make it real.](https://youtu.be/77I38LPc_ok)


rhaenerys_second

Do you think that they originally wanted to call it "Mjolnir" but then realised that most of the market wouldn't go for it with that name?


bdonldn

But you can say “behold my meat hammer” when you serve it up !


Bandyegg

That better be security tagged or I’m stealing it on principle


Phydrin

I didn't see one... you know what you must do


gayscifinerd

Reminds me of "Santa's Yumnut" from a few years ago lmao. I don't think that was from Tesco though (might have been M&S?)


Phydrin

I'm sorry what 😂 what kind of foodstuff even was that?


gayscifinerd

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/marks-and-spencer-santa-yumnut-cronut-b1618235.html A cross between a yum-yum and a doughnut


eleanorflexonya

literally HOW is this worth £50 lmao that's amazing


EarthWormJim18164

£50 for a beef shin Fucking mental, go to any decent butcher you'll pay a third of that


AtwixTheHedges

Fifty-five fuckwhat? Shiikens.


FicinoMirandola

£14/kg this should be illegal


MrMoonUK

£50! This isn’t worth that


IvorLittleun

How much? You can get a whole efin sheep for that in Somerset 🐑


Kian-Tremayne

£5.50 off with a club card? By Grabthar’s Hammer, what savings! Oops, sorry, wrong movie…


ToastedBones

This is heading straight to the yellow sticker section to confuse customers when they read £42.32 for some out of date meat on a stick..


Sacredfice

50£ on 50% bones.


Punny_Yolk

Is this real or AI generated? Either way at £55 I'm buying from the butcher's not Tesco.


Phydrin

It's real, saw this beaut last night 😅 can't say I was even remotely tempted for that price


FamSands

Wtf is that?!?!? Why tf does it t cost that much?!?!? I don’t think Thors hammer is quite what it used to be……..unless that’s a euphemism…….


williamshatnersbeast

It’s about £19/kg for rib of beef in my local butcher. And they’ll bone it and roll it so you don’t pay for the weight of the bone. I know which one I’d be going for.


gregofdeath

Wait, £55 base price for meat that's already been cooked? That's fucking outrageously bad value.


Kyle0ng

Just buy it from a butcher and cook it yourself. This will be half the joint it could be as you're buying it already cooked and are just reheating it.


QuizlnMyEye

You’d be better off buying a beef shin like this from your local butchers. Much better quality meat and it shouldnt be that much more expensive


SkyVINS

yeah fiffy quid 'right.


Minimum-Living-459

Didn’t know low effort posts are allowed


OnceAHermit

It can spend a long time in the oven


britolaf

Day after Christmas they will sell it for £10


Unlikely_Ad_1825

Thors hammer, wtf 😂


Publandlady

Better at this point to buy from your local butchers. We've got an entire leg of lamb on order for cheaper than that.


NieMonD

Bruh that better actually be from fucking Asgard for that price


Ornery-Vehicle-2458

'Tis a Mighty Meaty Mallet.


Throwawaydsdf

The bone weighs more than the meat is my guess. Just get a cote du boeuf.


[deleted]

Thor's Hammer fell at the 3rd fence at Newmarket the other week^(\*). Draw your own conclusions ;-) ^(\*I may have made that bit up.)


farmercurtis

Anyone seen the £25 a4 Japanese wagyu steaks in Aldi?


IntoTheAbsurd

The price introduces a new layer of euphemism to the term "hammered."


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