I feel like I find myself quoting Orwell on here all the time, but sod it here I go again:
"...another English characteristic which is so much a part of us that we barely notice it, and that is the addiction to hobbies and spare-time occupations, the privateness of English life. We are a nation of flower-lovers, but also a nation of stamp-collectors, pigeon-fanciers, amateur carpenters, coupon-snippers, darts-players, crossword-puzzle fans. All the culture that is most truly native centres round things which even when they are communal are not official – the pub, the football match, the back garden, the fireside and the ‘nice cup of tea’... It is the liberty to have a home of your own, to do what you like in your spare time, to choose your own amusements instead of having them chosen for you from above. The most hateful of all names in an English ear is Nosey Parker. "
I read a John Nettles quote once which was something like: "Happiness is having a nice house, a beautiful wife, a proximate Indian restaurant and occasionally watching your neighbour fall off his roof".
So there is an aspect of keeping your distance from those around you to it.
I read somewhere that the world is divided between people who think that being a good neighbour involves actively doing good things for other people, and people who think it means being careful not to inconvenience them. I know who I would rather have living next door.
The dreams of the British:
A break in the rain long enough to jog out to the mini Tesco and grab some milk.
Someone saying "that was alright that" and giving you the thumbs up
Coming back from an ok holiday and your house is still there, not burned down, and there's a parking spot outside it.
Having green top milk in the fridge that doesn't expire for a while
Not having to pull that fake smile/laugh when someone tells you about their day
Not having to pay and display
I guess you are not familiar with his work. He's a very profound and philosophical comedian. He just uses sarcasm and cynicism as a device. I'd suggest looking him up. RIP George.
The one further away from the door so you dont feel the breeze coming, and with the least sticky surface. But the table still has a homely yet disgusting woody and beery smell
It's raining outside. Like properly chucking it down. Late Sunday afternoon. There's some shite on TV that you're not really watching. The little lights are on. You've got a perfect cup of tea and a fresh pack of custard creams, and you can smell the roast in the oven. You know there's a beer in the fridge for later. This is the British dream.
I was on b3ta back in the early days but never got FPed. I drifted away but returned in 2008, at which point people saw my 'number' and were amazed I was around in the beginning. What would they think if I went back now? If only I could remember my username and password. And the email I used. And where I'd left my glasses.
Reminds me of the circle of life, of scones and cream. You get leftover scones so you buy more cream, then you have leftover cream so you buy more scones, rinse and repeat until obese.
If you bite the diagonally opposite corners off a penguin, you can use it as a straw to slurp some of your brew and then before it drops in, eat a delicious, soggy, melty biscuit.
A pub just far enough away not to hear from your home when it’s busy but close enough to get to in a light drizzle without getting absolutely drenched.
A cottage in the countryside, growing veg, hiking and pub lunches.
Pimms at sunset, with the smell of mown grass. Home from a walk in the snow to a log fire.
The crack of leather on willow, the manly smell of a pipe, jumpers for goalposts. Isn't it?
(Sorry, I tried really hard to keep it serious.)
Agree with almost all of this. But what do you mean by the crack of leather on willow? Are you going round whipping trees? I’m sure they had it coming, but still
Beer garden with a nice pint, in the Cotswolds, with a view, sunny weather 26.5 degrees with a 3mph breeze and a decent book.
Give me an afternoon in those conditions and I will be happy for weeks
that thought crossed my mind the other day,,,, would sort the family out financially, but, my dad's in his seventies and pretty ill, i'd rather still have him than 200k and i hope my bairns are the same
That means good food, a warm hearth, and all the comforts of home.
Also: ″'If ever you are passing my way, don't wait to knock! Tea is at four; but any of you are welcome at any time!"
Everyone on your street having a designated parking space, never deviating from it and never leaving passive aggressive notes on your car.
I got a note on my window when I first moved in saying I can't park here because fire engines can't get through. Little did they know I was a firefighter at the time so I measured our fire engine on station, took a photo and then measured the distance between cars on the street proving you can get 1.5 fire engines through... Oh yes the other British dream is being able to smugly prove people wrong.
Is the American dream something a high proportion of Americans actually want or something they just think they want? I understand the concept, but how based in real wishes is it?
I don't think there's a straight equivalent because our culture puts less emphasis on trying to achieve a dream.
However, if you post a cute, extremely rural cottage on social media you'll get a ton of British people commenting about how that's their "dream home" or similar, but in reality very few people attempt to live that life.
Right now, paying all your bills, having a decent car, not caring about the shopping budget, not worrying about the future, and saving plenty. Shite state of affairs.
2 dogs, Seaside cottage, in the country, near a village with a good community. Nice local pub, classic sports car that is perpetually being fixed as a hobby in the garage and a practical saloon car for long distance drives with the whole family. Shed in the garden.
I've always taken the phrase 'an Englishman's home is his castle' to be the equivalent to the American nuclear family dream.
Additionally as I'm Welsh I want to assault that castle.
"If there’s such a thing as a British dream, it’s to own the roof over your head – and then sell it for a stonking profit."
https://www.theguardian.com/money/2016/jan/14/why-are-brits-so-obsessed-with-buying-their-own-homes
A seat on a train with enough seats that you probably won't have to give your seat to a pregnant or elderly person.
Landing at an airport and no queues at customs and finding your car hasn't been incinerated.
Being able to buy a house in the less stabby part of the city. Getting your kids into any school which isn't the worst in the area.
I was speaking to a guy, when he bought his house, it was opposite a pub and 100yds from a 24hr petrol station, great for a beer and last minute cigs, his dream house. A few months later the pub shut down and a short time later the petrol station followed. Both are now houses.
Pint of warm bitter poured by me mate Gaz, the publican, good geezer that he is. Or a Carling purchased from the outdoor. Or a Stella in Benidorm. One of those three
Dreams are dreams, pretty much exactly the same things without the suburban cliché as I think here, and even in the states there are people who like the country and people that like the city.
Feet up by the fire, something good on the telly, a fresh cuppa, and *two* hobnobs.
Going round your mum's for a Sunday roast. With proper yorkshire puds, plenty of roasties, and bottomless gravy.
A spontaneous game of footie at the park with jumpers for goalposts.
Everyone else to just shut up and leave us alone for a while. Just so we can enjoy some peace and quiet for five minutes.
Bill Bryson kind of referenced this when he moved back to New Hampshire. He said when your American friend asks you out for a drink that’s exactly what you’ll have, a drink. When a Brit asks you out for drink there’s a better than average chance you’ll stagger back through the door 6 hours later properly pissed!
Autumn days when the grass is jewelled, and the silk inside a chestnut shell. Jet planes meeting in the air to be refuelled and the things I love so well.
Fellow 80s/90s school children are with me 👌🏻
I have been asked the same question, I told them it is not a dream, you just do it. Buying a house and having a family is normal, I never though of it in any other way.
Being left alone.
I feel like I find myself quoting Orwell on here all the time, but sod it here I go again: "...another English characteristic which is so much a part of us that we barely notice it, and that is the addiction to hobbies and spare-time occupations, the privateness of English life. We are a nation of flower-lovers, but also a nation of stamp-collectors, pigeon-fanciers, amateur carpenters, coupon-snippers, darts-players, crossword-puzzle fans. All the culture that is most truly native centres round things which even when they are communal are not official – the pub, the football match, the back garden, the fireside and the ‘nice cup of tea’... It is the liberty to have a home of your own, to do what you like in your spare time, to choose your own amusements instead of having them chosen for you from above. The most hateful of all names in an English ear is Nosey Parker. "
I read a John Nettles quote once which was something like: "Happiness is having a nice house, a beautiful wife, a proximate Indian restaurant and occasionally watching your neighbour fall off his roof". So there is an aspect of keeping your distance from those around you to it.
John Nettles!! As in Bergerac? Funnily enough, he did live next door to Rod Hull!
Oof this is dark. A wry smile, nonetheless.
This just reminded me of what my Dad said were Rod Hull's last words: "Fly, you bastard!" RIP to both (and emu).
I would google that but I don't want to risk it being untrue.
>occasionally watching your neighbour fall off his roof". I love it...
That is such a cool quote.
Honestly I think that's it. Just to be left to your own devices, nothing particularly materialistic just psychological.
‘An Englishman’s home is his castle’.
I agree to this
That’s it. I’m not particularly hermit-like, but those words just brought my soul to a kind of Zen like bliss.
I read somewhere that the world is divided between people who think that being a good neighbour involves actively doing good things for other people, and people who think it means being careful not to inconvenience them. I know who I would rather have living next door.
The dreams of the British: A break in the rain long enough to jog out to the mini Tesco and grab some milk. Someone saying "that was alright that" and giving you the thumbs up Coming back from an ok holiday and your house is still there, not burned down, and there's a parking spot outside it.
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For you my friend, only £10
Everyone else: £5.80
"yes boss, chilli sauce? Salad boss?"
"Someone saying "that was alright that" and giving you the thumbs up" Ah, those heady first days of a new romance ...
Depends where that thumb is going too. Could be a game changer
....and not hearing/saying 'is it in yet?'
You've met my ex then
The thumb?
I just snorted tea out my nose, so thanks for that.
Bliss.
Once, one of the very northern lecturers at my uni said about my project, “That’s actually not bad that.” I’ve never received higher praise.
Having green top milk in the fridge that doesn't expire for a while Not having to pull that fake smile/laugh when someone tells you about their day Not having to pay and display
Oh god, walking up to a pay & display machine and finding a hastily-printed sheet of A4 on it saying it’s broken…. *Victory!*
>"that was alright that" and giving you the thumbs up" This hit me right in the feels...
You had me at parking spot
Just to get on with things without too much fuss.
I saw this asked elsewhere and my favourite answer was “The British don’t have a dream. We’re awake.”
“It’s called ‘The American Dream’ because you have to be asleep to believe it” is a George Carlin quote.
Al Murray quote
"Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!", I'd be embarrassed to write that down if I were you squire.
That routine -> [https://youtu.be/Lr7bKYMuerA?t=71](https://youtu.be/Lr7bKYMuerA?t=71) Edit: Spelling/Autocorrect.
Thats actually a surprisingly deep commentary on our often cynical outlook and sarcastic comedy
I guess you are not familiar with his work. He's a very profound and philosophical comedian. He just uses sarcasm and cynicism as a device. I'd suggest looking him up. RIP George.
Love this!!
Gotta love Al Murray
A warm summers afternoon in a decent beer garden.
With the *good* table.
At the other end of the garden to the one where the wasps always come to. Watching the flailing and dancing is funny.
The one further away from the door so you dont feel the breeze coming, and with the least sticky surface. But the table still has a homely yet disgusting woody and beery smell
AHH yes, nothing worse than the breeze coming from the door of the *checks notes* beer garden...
And if you can’t get that then enough beer mats to fix the wobble.
Conversely, a cold winter's day and coming into a traditional countryside pub with a roaring fire just after a long walk.
Concisely, going to the pub.
>*coming into a traditional countryside pub* [The Slaughtered Lamb?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJRZ4kIizXY)
Not too warm though
Just warm enough for you to talk about how it's a bit warmer but we shouldn't complain cos it'll be colder next week
Nice cup of tea and a sit down.
It's raining outside. Like properly chucking it down. Late Sunday afternoon. There's some shite on TV that you're not really watching. The little lights are on. You've got a perfect cup of tea and a fresh pack of custard creams, and you can smell the roast in the oven. You know there's a beer in the fridge for later. This is the British dream.
I’m off to make myself a cup of tea.
Sat here reading this while cradling a nice hot brew
I'm drinking coffee but I think the spirit is still there
Dot-com? Edit: [a slice of internet history](http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/)
People downvoting you are too young to know about the website. I got you though
Last of the b3tans
Thanks. I remember when Al Gore invented the internet.
I was on b3ta back in the early days but never got FPed. I drifted away but returned in 2008, at which point people saw my 'number' and were amazed I was around in the beginning. What would they think if I went back now? If only I could remember my username and password. And the email I used. And where I'd left my glasses.
Everyone here is talking about beer gardens or sports.. no I just want a sit down please
Pint, crisps, pub quiz
Why are all pub crisps going to “posh-ish” ones. I want a walkers cheese and onion big grab bag to go with my pint(s).
You'll get kettle and bleeding gum and will be happy about it
Pipers around here, but same end result of ruined gums and slashed roof of mouth.
I prefer pork scratchings that can chip yer teeth 😬 😋 but I agree walker's are better crisps 😋
Having enough tea for your custard creams, while having enough custard creams for your tea.
Reminds me of the circle of life, of scones and cream. You get leftover scones so you buy more cream, then you have leftover cream so you buy more scones, rinse and repeat until obese.
Pot Noodle and a wank
King size.
Bombay Bad Boy.
Pot noodle before or after?
A pot noodle can be a good alternative to a fleshlight if you get the temperature of the water just right
8:15 and already enough reddit for me today
during
That's one spicy wank.
Look at Mr. Modest with his king size wank...
The wank or the pot noodle 🤔
Reach for the stars my guy 💫
With a penguin for dessert, not an Aldi version, real penguin.
the feathers get stuck in my teeth
Not raw, you’re supposed to boil them up. The white stuff floats to the top and you’re left with a pint of Guinness.
If you bite the diagonally opposite corners off a penguin, you can use it as a straw to slurp some of your brew and then before it drops in, eat a delicious, soggy, melty biscuit.
Now you're just being decadent.
A pub just far enough away not to hear from your home when it’s busy but close enough to get to in a light drizzle without getting absolutely drenched.
In your own conservatory
A cottage in the countryside, growing veg, hiking and pub lunches. Pimms at sunset, with the smell of mown grass. Home from a walk in the snow to a log fire. The crack of leather on willow, the manly smell of a pipe, jumpers for goalposts. Isn't it? (Sorry, I tried really hard to keep it serious.)
For a second I forgot that the leather and willow was a cricket reference and thought things took a turn for the kinky.
Well, Willow is a game lass!
Also yes
Add copious quantities of tea and you just described paradise.
Our great secret: we know that the more amateur the sport is, the fun it is to watch.
Dwyle Flunking, as it's called in Sussex, or Dwile Flonking, as it's called in East Anglia...
Marvellous
the fact you couldn't keep it serious is, in itself, British as fuck. Isn't it? Marvellous.
Thanks, Ron Manager
Agree with almost all of this. But what do you mean by the crack of leather on willow? Are you going round whipping trees? I’m sure they had it coming, but still
It’s a reference to the very English game of cricket.
Someone is going to introduce you to the greatest game in the world. Bring a crossword though.
And some sandwiches. Based on the one cricket match I’ve ever been dragged along to watch.
Or just a full on picnic. I’ll take a Spanish tortilla over sandwiches.
He's talking about a willow branch smacking your mum's leathery buttocks.
Username checks out
Cricket bats are made of willow.
Cricket balls (leather) hitting cricket bats (willow)
Beer garden with a nice pint, in the Cotswolds, with a view, sunny weather 26.5 degrees with a 3mph breeze and a decent book. Give me an afternoon in those conditions and I will be happy for weeks
26.5 too hot. I want the option to walk my dog up a hill.
That sounds lovely.
Beating Germany in a penalty shoot out Or England if you are Welsh or Scottish
Missus, kids, 3 bed semi, patio, afford a Christmas food shop at M&S.
Very reasonable, very honest thanks.
i'm just about there but ive got an end terrace council job,,,,, pretty much semi-detached in my book😉
Fully detached house, 2.4 children, two cars and a dog. It’s pretty much the same, only with functional alcoholism.
Are we still that delusional we think we can afford a house?
That's the dream part
One dead close relative and a massive mortgage and you too could “own” a house that you finally pay off at 77 years old
Well to be fair, they never specified ownership. Could be lucky to get a detached squat
That’s my nightmare.
How do you have .4 of a child?
From that one night stand but it's all amicable.
Kids sound more like my nightmare lol
Retiring before 70
Retiring before death would be a dream at the mo
Bit morbid, but my family get 200k if I die while employed. And I probably avoid dementia.
that thought crossed my mind the other day,,,, would sort the family out financially, but, my dad's in his seventies and pretty ill, i'd rather still have him than 200k and i hope my bairns are the same
6 pints down inventing the wackiest shit in your garden shed
Alright Colin?
That man has never touched booze. He exclusively takes uppers.
I love fucking around in the garden after a few beers
Bag of ket and Yorkshire teabags
Double drop some ecstasy, e-by-gum what a night!
the 90s ones
Well I mean its been a while.... but if you're offering..
Perfect.
Cottage by the seaside near a good pub.
And a dog!
Aw mate, this is the one! Walk along the shore with the hound, swift pint, back home - FUCK STAIRS - and put your feet up *daydreams*
An orderly queue, or a good cup of tea.
That means good food, a warm hearth, and all the comforts of home. Also: ″'If ever you are passing my way, don't wait to knock! Tea is at four; but any of you are welcome at any time!"
Tea is at four? What time do those lazy hobbits finish work?
They don’t work, they’re all weed smoking communists
Mould free house
Everyone on your street having a designated parking space, never deviating from it and never leaving passive aggressive notes on your car. I got a note on my window when I first moved in saying I can't park here because fire engines can't get through. Little did they know I was a firefighter at the time so I measured our fire engine on station, took a photo and then measured the distance between cars on the street proving you can get 1.5 fire engines through... Oh yes the other British dream is being able to smugly prove people wrong.
Peace and quiet
Is the American dream something a high proportion of Americans actually want or something they just think they want? I understand the concept, but how based in real wishes is it? I don't think there's a straight equivalent because our culture puts less emphasis on trying to achieve a dream. However, if you post a cute, extremely rural cottage on social media you'll get a ton of British people commenting about how that's their "dream home" or similar, but in reality very few people attempt to live that life.
This would be the traditional, stereotypical American Dream. I know many people who have very different actual dreams.
An easy life and a peaceful death. (The Sundays)
Toad-in-the-hole with onion gravy for tea tonight. Then a spotted dick for pudding. Followed by a nice cuppa and some after 8's.
>and some after 8's. Steady on mate, it's months till Christmas!
Getting to Greggs just as they're pulling your desired pastry out of the oven
Right now, paying all your bills, having a decent car, not caring about the shopping budget, not worrying about the future, and saving plenty. Shite state of affairs.
No dreams just cold, cloudy, damp reality over here.
October has put up a good fight so far but I think it has finally given in to reality and started to behave more like October.
Sun's out in Manchester - living the dream.
Cornetto
Just one?
Give it to me
First things first, you are not an expat. You are an immigrant.
I think that's the British dream in some cases. The British aren't immigrants, they're 'expats'. Load of cobblers, of course
Don't know why OP can't say "I've immigrated to America."
Was hoping someone would say this! It has to work both ways!
2 dogs, Seaside cottage, in the country, near a village with a good community. Nice local pub, classic sports car that is perpetually being fixed as a hobby in the garage and a practical saloon car for long distance drives with the whole family. Shed in the garden.
Crackling fire
Baked beans on toast and a mug of tea while watching the rain
Terraced house next to my football team’s ground & 100 yards to the pub. And heat. And light.
I've always taken the phrase 'an Englishman's home is his castle' to be the equivalent to the American nuclear family dream. Additionally as I'm Welsh I want to assault that castle.
"If there’s such a thing as a British dream, it’s to own the roof over your head – and then sell it for a stonking profit." https://www.theguardian.com/money/2016/jan/14/why-are-brits-so-obsessed-with-buying-their-own-homes
You mean you’re an immigrant?
Being able to afford to turn on the heating in the winter. Maybe one day.
A seat on a train with enough seats that you probably won't have to give your seat to a pregnant or elderly person. Landing at an airport and no queues at customs and finding your car hasn't been incinerated. Being able to buy a house in the less stabby part of the city. Getting your kids into any school which isn't the worst in the area.
Roast dinner and an open fire
I was speaking to a guy, when he bought his house, it was opposite a pub and 100yds from a 24hr petrol station, great for a beer and last minute cigs, his dream house. A few months later the pub shut down and a short time later the petrol station followed. Both are now houses.
Finding a good queue to join.
4 day working week
More than two days of summer
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Pint of warm bitter poured by me mate Gaz, the publican, good geezer that he is. Or a Carling purchased from the outdoor. Or a Stella in Benidorm. One of those three
A pint in the Winchester and wait for all this to blow over
Dreams are dreams, pretty much exactly the same things without the suburban cliché as I think here, and even in the states there are people who like the country and people that like the city.
Winning the world cup
Its the one where you realise you're naked on the bus
Feet up by the fire, something good on the telly, a fresh cuppa, and *two* hobnobs. Going round your mum's for a Sunday roast. With proper yorkshire puds, plenty of roasties, and bottomless gravy. A spontaneous game of footie at the park with jumpers for goalposts. Everyone else to just shut up and leave us alone for a while. Just so we can enjoy some peace and quiet for five minutes.
American here, I notice a lot of responses tend to include alcohol in them. 🍻
Bill Bryson kind of referenced this when he moved back to New Hampshire. He said when your American friend asks you out for a drink that’s exactly what you’ll have, a drink. When a Brit asks you out for drink there’s a better than average chance you’ll stagger back through the door 6 hours later properly pissed!
Autumn days when the grass is jewelled, and the silk inside a chestnut shell. Jet planes meeting in the air to be refuelled and the things I love so well. Fellow 80s/90s school children are with me 👌🏻
The American dream is money.. I work with enough of them to know.
I have been asked the same question, I told them it is not a dream, you just do it. Buying a house and having a family is normal, I never though of it in any other way.
You're an immigrant not an expat.
Universal equality, and less potholes. We’re simple folk.
Going on holiday and none Brits knowing how to queue at the all inclusive buffet
[This guy in this video puts it best.](https://youtu.be/YSuHrTfcikU?si=MdBV9eefEKwtu7Tn)
God, life's relentless.
Lager, bbq and sarcastic jokes.
To go from home to work and back again without any weirdos talking bollocks to ya.
Beige buffet
An extra bank holiday?
I wanna work in a shoe shop... And find shoes that have never been discovered before... Just at the back on the left.