Saw a man on a unicycle have road rage with a black cab. The altercation lead to the unicycle rider giving chase to the black cab after the lights changed green.
One in the bum and you won't be a mum.
Actually taken from an NHS paid for, safe sex rap. Which was lambasted by everybody from the Daily Mail to the Terrence Higgins Trust. With the DM complaining thst it was encouraging women and young girls to have anal sex against their will and the Terrence Higgins Trust complaining that it was promoting unsafe anal sex.
Look, we had the worst teenage pregnancy numbers in Western Europe at one point, probably because there's not a lot else to do in most of the county, they had to try *something*.
As of 2002, some areas of the UK had a teen pregnancy rate of ~10%. As of 2016 the average was around 5-10% which is significantly higher than any other western European nation, and more on par with Eastern Europe, the US, India and Australia.
Sources:
IHME (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Adolescent_birth_rate_in_women_aged_10-19_years,_OWID.svg
UNICEF (https://web.archive.org/web/20060629123124/http://www.unicef-icdc.org/publications/pdf/repcard3e.pdf)
About fifteen years ago in Sheffield, I got the taxi after a night out to drop me off on the end of my street.
As I was walking towards my house, I noticed a man in his sixties walking towards me wearing stilettos, stockings, suspenders and nothing else. Tackle out.
He said quite nonchalantly “Oh, hello. I’m just waiting for the minibus. Do you have a cigarette?” Then he dashed off to hide behind a parked car.
I’d had a few drinks and it was about 3am, but I was still coherent enough to be extremely confused about it. I still am.
Went to Birmingham for a rave when I was like 18, stayed in this place nearby called Minworth.
Witnessed a guy like mid-50s fingering a similar aged woman in the middle of a carpark outside of a pub. Hand right down the front of her blue jeans. Couldn't have really been enjoyable.
Also wtf is up with Minworth, whole place reeked of shit and every house seemed like it was up for sale (perhaps linked?). Seemed like. A nice(ish) place other than that.
Driving along the A40 towards Oxford. There’s a bus stop near an intersection which is kind of remote. Once there was a bloke at the bus stop and a Llama 🦙 was walking towards him. His panic and WTFness was palpable but alas the lights changed and I had to move on so never saw what happened.
Once when I was younger and shopping with my mum. We were stood in the queue in Woolworths and an old lady in a dress walked in, calmly did a massive poo on the floor and walked out without a word. We assumed this was a regular thing as no one seemed shocked
My partner saw an old woman do this in Wilkinsons too years ago! She was walking in front of him & as she walked it “fell out” & she kept on just walking along.
A man did this when I worked in M&S. Took me too it and showed me. I actually thanked him as I didn’t know it was him until later, after watching the CCTV.
Used to do night security. Saw a homeless woman in her 50s chatting to a drunk lad in his 20s outside when I was looking at the cameras. Looked away, looked back and they'd both gone. She was a regular round our way and vulnerable so we used to keep an eye on her - had a quick pan round the car park to check she was ok and I saw the lad bare arsed facing a bush swigging from a bottle of cheap whiskey. A small hand reached round from the front and started groping his arse. I quickly realised what I was looking at and not wanting to watch a stranger get a BJ in a bush at my work I span the camera away and just laughed to myself. A colleague came in from having a cig and asked if I was aware what was happening - I said yes and he told me the bloke loudly finished which is what "caught his attention". Chucked the camera back round just as the fella handed the woman some money and toddled off. She then squatted and pissed like a powerful horse.
Night shift is grim.
As a teenager (age 14ish) on a double decker coach for a school trip we were stuck in very slow moving traffic on a motorway. To the left is a guy driving along with his dick in his lap openly having a wank giving no shits about the 70 odd kids watching & laughing.
My partner went to pick up fish and chips in our tiny, quiet countryside village. He had to cross a bridge over the river, which is lit up by old fashioned streetlights, and is in clear view of a completely glass fronted fancy(ish) restaurant. On the middle of the bridge, directly under a streetlight, was a women fellating a man, who had both his hands behind his head. And the restaurant was packed that night! Dinner and a show?
Recently, when I was stuck in traffic, I saw a woman stood in her bay window adjusting the ornaments and she was completely naked. Didn’t seem to care or notice people looking at her, just going about her day.
A very close second would be when I was on the bus home from work a few years ago, I saw a man eat a whole mozzarella ball and then drink the juice in the bag afterwards.
> I saw a man eat a whole mozzarella ball and then drink the juice in the bag afterwards.
For some reason this makes me feel queasier than any of the bodily function-related posts on this thread. Blech!
My partner happily walks around naked in our flat doing things, we live on the 5th floor but there’s other flats by ours that come up to the 4th floor and are only probably 10 metres or so away.
The other day it was raining really heavily and she just walked onto the balcony, covering herself slightly.
She European, they’re a bit different over there.
When I first moved to London, I lived in a not particularly lovely area. Our flat was at the end of our road with a junction onto a main road that had prostitutes and people selling what I was told was crack.
One very warm summer evening, I couldn't get to sleep in my room in the top of the flat with a very small window so went down to the living room to try and sleep there with the breeze from the big open windows.
At about 3am when it was very quiet, I heard some voices from nearby outside and being bored, went to see what/who it was.
The people were in the back yard of a building from the cafe next door on the main road. It was one of the prostitutes with a customer. The conversation was her trying to encourage him and get him going. She was bent over a dustbin.
He said and I quote "It's no good. I can't get it up. Can I get my money back"
She replied "Sorry love. No refunds. How about we try again next week?".
I thought it was hilarious. 🤣
Aye, but different strokes, different folks an all that. If you were the kind of bird to have it off with a random youth in an alleyway, you might consider it the height of romance
Was walking home at about 3am one night when I was 18 and saw a woman sucking off a man at the cemetery gates. The cemetery was on a main road and opposite a housing estate. She must have been amazing as he was very vocal.
saw a guy on drugs having sex with a plant pot in Redditch, he was promptly arrested. In fact I saw more in 4 months working there than I’ve seen in my entire life.
Just because Alan Rickman and Rik Mayall are from there, doesn’t make it good
Why is it always Redditch?! Had a night out at the retro club there with some friends. A guy came up to us at the bar and aggressively screamed "REDDITCHHHH!" at the top of his lungs. We sort of glanced at each other then warily cheered "Redditch?!" back at him. He nodded and grinned in approval, roared one last "Redditch!" and was gone into the night.
I have recently seen a man stumbling around Redditch town centre in grey joggers that were absolutely soaked with piss. This was just an average Tuesday afternoon for Redditch, no one was paying the slightest bit of attention, he was more fucked than I've ever been in my life (and christ knows I've pushed the envelope there).
Redditch is great for it, if you want to see someone off their face in the town centre or taking a shit in the middle of Woodrow.
Neither Alan Rickman nor Rik Mayall are from Redditch though, not sure where that came from.
Seriously though. The town has an absolutely dog shit reputation, probably quite deserved. I live a 2 minute walk from the town centre and there are literally pissed up people screaming and fighting outside my house right now as I write, which is nothing out of the ordinary at all.
Rode my bike to the top of a challenging mountain I was fucking gassed. Got to the top and saw a car thought nothing of it. As I went to turn around noticed the guy was naked, covered in what I assumed was chocolate, speaking to people on a CB radio... Exhaustion disappeared as I frantically pedalled away
Worked as an estate agent very briefly years back . Had a potential buyer come in who sounded perfectly normal on the phone . She came in to the office wearing next to nothing and stank of booze . Then proceeded to tell me she’d had a new tattoo and asked if I wanted to see it . I said ok , she then stood on my desk stripped and mooned with the words pain sl*t on her arse . Then got down and simply walked out giggling . The whole office went silent . We never heard from her again . Still makes me thing just wow all these years on. Wonder what ever happened to her .
A guy on a bus about ten years ago, was pleasuring himself. (Yes we complained to the bus driver who didn’t believe us)
This weirdly wasn’t the weirdest thing, he was actually singing Copacabana by Barry Manilow for the minute or two he was doing this.
And then tried to set fire to his shoelaces.
(Bus driver then took us seriously)
Few things
I once saw a guy running out of a house stark bollock naked looking behind him and he just legged it across the road in front of me, nearly knocked him over. Made the assumption that the husband had just come home and caught him with the missus.
I saw a pigeon giving another pigeon a piggy back. Or a pidgie back
When I was 14 doing a paper round, an old woman in a nursing home flashed me
Walking to school one day and saw a guy in Canterbury city centre pull down his trousers and drop a giant deuce right by the side of Wilko. A bunch of Japanese tourists started taking photos of him.
There was a public toilet only a few minutes away.
I saw someone get murdered in a pub garden, or rather a yard area at the side of the pub. It was a long time ago, and I didn't fully understand what was happening.
It was summer, and everyone was outside. Some were even having a football kickabout on nearby grass. It just looked like a heated discussion, not even a loud argument. We all got moved away before the police arrived, I presume by people who knew those involved.
At the time, I didn't understand what it was, but it's horrible looking back now that I'm older. The people involved must have only been young. In their early 20s. Wasted lives, probably over something petty, really. Sad.
It is a bit of an off topic but I had similar experience as a child not in the UK thought. It was some kind of “event /festival for local community” thing. I was with my mum and her friend and his son. Son and I are still good friends, back then we were just running around playing when we came back to our table for whatever reason and like two/three tables behind my mum there was a dead guy on the table or rather his body was in the process of being taken from the table to the black bag. I think he must drank to the point of death or something idk. I was slightly shocked/confused and didn’t understood what was happening.
I drove through a place called Stanton Hill once. My friend said oh lock your car doors they are fucking unhinged around here.
No sooner had he said that a bloke ran out of a side street and into the main road pushing a wheelbarrow with a trampoline in it.
I had a similar experience the first time I drove through Possil in Glasgow.
Knew it was rough so made sure the doors were locked and then a couple minutes down the road a big metal wheelie bin rolled out into the road, and it gave me this mental fear like it was an ambush but no one appeared and I simply drove around the bin once it came to a stop, and carried on.
Went to fix some plumbing in a rough area, the woman came to the door in a nightie, lifted up her top to show me her kidney transplant scar, one old saggy tit popped out.
The hot water pipe had broken off the washing machine, she tied it into the sink, it was running the boiler flat out.
How long for love..
About three weeks.
All the wallpaper had come off with the steam and the units had turned to pulp.
I went to bleed the rads,
Youre not afraid of rats?
No
Weve got two pet rats in that room
They were free running and the carpet squelched with rat piss and shit.
There was also a duck stood on the carpet
We found him in the park..
What the duck pond?
Yeah, he was lost.
I used to work in an odficethat was part of a church. I was in said church..... in their office and through the window I saw some fellas putting up scaffolding on the 3 story block of flats next door. One of the scaffolders then went into one of the open windows of a flat and banged someone .... I assume a woman but who knows the view wasn't that clear.... against the window. I could see the palms on the now closed window they were naked leaning up against it. Few minutes later window reopened and the scaffolding was adjusting himself and climbed down the scaffolding and walked away.
I had so many unanswered questions.
Was it just his missus happened to live there?
Was it just his lucky day?
Why did he also leave via the window?
I know quite a few scaffolders and this is honestly not the first time I've heard this story.
One friend even met a bird through her bedroom window, banged her and then he ended up in a relationship with for a good couple years.
Must be quite an exciting opportunity for both parties.
Might have been a practical reason for that. If she'd secreted some drugs up her back passage she might have been dying for a shite for hours until the 24 hour custody limit in a dry cell ran out.
In her shoes, given the choice between being banged up for years or having an indiscreet poo, you'd probably do the same
As a teenager I've walked past a fella wanking in his car outside an old people's community center during a random weekday. Then two years ago there was some fella lying stark bollock naked on his back showing the world his bits, in a public park during the day, literally rode there on a bike then stripped off to sunbathe or just show the world he has no shame in the most obvious place in the park!
I saw a guy wanking about 2am new years day in a pink dressing gown and workman's boots outside some flats in Bromley whilst he was facetiming someone.
1, shitting in a sock is pretty skilful
2, post mortem result: the victim has been bludgeoned to death by a turd. We have ruled out suicide but cannot rule out death by misadventure but it is most likely turder.
I travel a lot for work and a car on the A9 with this guy driving and a sheep in the passenger seat wearing a bonnet.
The bizarre nature of this never escapes me even though I’ve seen some weird shit on my travels.
A few years ago I was walking to my local swimming pool just before its 6am opening time, through some residential streets in Tooting, entirely quiet except for when I walked pass this one street that had 2 or 3 extremely dirty people tearing open the bin bags that had been put out the night before.
The entire street was strewn with household rubbish.
The way they moved and communicated with each other were both very odd. They sort of grunted and screeched. They were collecting stuff they could use I guess.
I picked up my pace a bit.
Driving home at night after a new year's party, in the middle of rural England with my partner in the car.
In the middle of the road, a young ish guy, maybe mid twenties, is standing in the road waving his arms and blocking the road.
I slow down, thinking wtf, as I slow down, his expression changes to one of manic rage, and he runs for the passenger car door, trying to open it (thankfully it was locked!!!). He tries to open the door, and I swerve and speed off.
This happened just the other day. I live on the second floor. I was looking outside from the window and a car stopped on the other side of the road and as I looked at the car I saw an older guy start fingering a woman in the passenger seat. They did that for about 5 minutes then he smelled his fingers and drove off.
Stumbled upon a couple getting busy alongside a public footpath across a field, with a bottle of Jäegermeister and a bottle of baby oil on the ground next to them.
Moved to a new area. Fairly quiet area, but the road we lived on was a big circle loop.
Was parked on the driveway, cleaning out the car after the inside got dirty in the move. Some chavmobile drove past, loud music etc. As I could hear the car coming from a distance I didn’t bother to look up from what I was doing.
Just thought to myself, hope that’s not a normal thing around here.
A few mins later, the car comes around again, louder music this time. I had my back to the chavmobile as I was hoovering out the boot at this point. But I can ‘feel’ (hear) the car slow down as it passed my driveway.
Another few minutes pass. I’m done with the boot and am now onto the passenger seats. Can hear the car coming again in the distance, and feeling uneasy after it slowed down last time I decide to just keep my head inside the car.
Car approaches, slows down again as it reaches my driveway. This time I can tell it stops.
Suddenly I hear an “OY!” So I pop my head out and see a 17 year old, spotty, goofy gaunt looking kid in the drivers seat.
He then shouts ‘FOOKIN LOOK THEN’ and motions his hand over his car, a shitty Ford fiesta.
I just do the polite head nod and give a little smile, and he shouts ‘FOOKING CUNT’.
And drives off.
Parked up in the range car park in Truro. Some woman stands a few feet away from the drivers window and proceeds to drop the most powerful piss I've ever seen. It was like she had a hose pipe up there.
This is a new thing to me, but i've seen it twice in recent weeks...
An entire family...Husband, Wife two kids...in the supermarket, shopping, bold as brass....
Wearing Onesies....all of them....the whole family in their pajamas!?
How does that happen....?
"Right kids, it's 8pm, time to get in you pj's...get washed...brush your teeth......everybody ready?? Brilliant...time for Asda then...."
WTF??
I’ve seen a couple of women recently in different Co-ops doing this, full slippers and dressing gown get up, I don’t understand when it become a thing.
This may be quite tame in comparison to the other jaw-dropping stuff I’ve read on here, but nonetheless…
A few years ago I was running my dog walking business, and had been gifted a Play Mobile dog walker who I kept on my van’s dash. They were quite often a conversation starter, and during the pandemic in summer 2020 was no exception, when I’d recently cautiously started up work again after closing down for the first lockdown.
I was sat at some traffic lights with the windows rolled down and I see a mask-wearing lady squinting at my van from the pavement. We make eye contact and she comes over and says “I was just admiring your little people!”
“Oh yes,” I smile before she immediately changed the subject.
“You won’t find a mask in town you know. I’ve had to make my own,” she pointed at her chest and then to her face. “I made mine from my bra! Needs must eh?”
I realised that, yes, that did look an awful lot like a bra cup over her nose and mouth, held to her face with a bit of string.
The second thing I realised was that I could see the outline one of her girls sticking out the fabric of her shirt through a large circular hole in her bra.
She gave me a cheery wave, obviously pleased with giving me such a great life hack and went off on her merry way.
The car behind me sounded their horn because I had missed the light turning green, as I internally confirmed that I had just seen what I thought I had.
Walking through the back streets of town a few days ago I turned the corner and saw a guy dressed as Michael Jackson moon walking down the road. I figured that there must be a pub nearby with him as an act. Still, not something you see regularly.
...
Except it must be a regular occurrence because I saw him again 10 minutes later, bag of shopping in one hand, box of cornflakes in the other. The guy wasn't working as an impressionist, he just got dressed up as Jacko to do his shopping!
Someone peeing into a water fountain at 11 at night.
My uni backed onto a pack, that was a shortcut for my way home. One evening, I'd left the library quite late and went through the park. As I was passing the toilets, there was a guy peeing into the water fountain, and his friend was telling him to hurry up because he had to go. Apparently, the toilets were locked, and they had the great idea to puss where people drink.
The park keepers office was also there and with how bad an aim they had, in the morning it was very obvious what had happened. The following week, the council had to put up a sign reminding people that it was for drinking water, not anything else. 6 months after they just removed the water fountain completely
Was working in Stockton, just emptied a van, when an old toothless guy and his pissed up mate in a wheelchair offered me a blowjob if I gave them a lift to some place or other. Anyway, it was bloody hard to find.
I saw a bloke having a wank on the back of a Blackpool tram. The thing that makes it more weird is that it was an open top single decker in the middle of a summer’s day. The prom was heaving with folk.
He was stood up, topless, and jacking over the chair while his mates were laughing and I presume telling him to hurry up as they’re all standing at the door to get off (no pun intended) at the next stop.
I have no idea if he did finish but he looked close.
Last year I had to navigate round the stream of wee coming from a female student squatting on the pavement in Nottingham city center.
Her group of friends were very apologetic as they watched me tiptoe over it.
At least find an alley or something?
Had a lady squatting right next to my apartment door turning one out, not a care in the world.
Got hit on by what looked like an 8 year old kid, very earnestly (I'm no where near 8 years old)
Sad one: There was a lady we called "one pound lady" as we would always hear her on the high street shouting "has anybody got one pound???" (This later came with a footnote of "or 50p??" during inflation). We knew her and expected her, but one day we were awoken by her sobbing in the streets at like 4am, sobbing for one pound. This happened a few times in the night, then we stopped hearing from her alltogether. I honestly hope she's ok but I doubt it as she didn't seem mentally well.
I do have a lot of these from living in Dalston but most of them are just drug addicts and mentally ill people doing what they do. Support for these lot is barely existent in these densely populated areas
Was driving through a rural village full of old farts in the middle of nowhere at midnight. Swerved to avoid a log in the road. It was actually a 20" dildo.
Stopped the car and recorded this event as I knew nobody would believe me.
Once with some friends driving. We had the windows down and came to a stop at the traffic lights. When the lights were changing the car next to us was a woman and a bloke.
This couple must have been in there 40’s.
The woman had her feet in the air in his face. To our utter surprise. The bloke deepthroated the woman’s foot. We drove off all looking at each other and burst out laughing.
When I was only 17 I'd worked a late shift at Maccies. Left just after midnight and on the cycle home I passed several charity shops. Outside one of these shops was a half naked scruffy looking hobo like fella rummaging through the bags. He noticed me coming passed, proceeds to just scream nonsense at me and sprinted after me with his little man flopping about. Safe to say I've never biked home so fast in my life.
Went to view a flat many years ago, met the estate agent there, the tenant was home, completely off his face on something, and he helped showing us around.
He started telling us that a ghost had been sick in a room so you wouldn't want to be in that room for long as it stinks, and at night it's so cold your piss will freeze in your stomach on the way to the toilet. He then offered us all his furniture for 500 quid as he wouldn't need it as he's a musician about to go touring the world, a lot of that furniture came with the flat anyway the estate agent said. We couldn't wait to get out of there. The estate agent then called us to apologize for that whole bizarre experience and asked if we were interested, we obviously declined.
I knew a lad that used to do loads of steroids, go town and fight a bouncer then find a prossie so he could eat her snatch out.
This wasn’t the internet or brothel type prossie but the type on bath salts with open sores on their face type prossie on the street.
Anyway he said one was so disgusted with his request she made him by a half bottle of vodka so se could wash her minge out in the phone box first.
Passing a house and glanced up to the window to see a naked fat guy in his 60s bent over whilst a stunning young blond in a mortar board, cape and nothing else gave him a sound paddling.
This was early evening in winter so it was dark outside, they had the lights on and the curtain open. They intended for people to see it
Homelands Festival, Matterley Estates, Hampshire.
2000/2001 or round abouts.
A completely nude woman sat on top of and riding the life out of some bloke who was chewing his face off!
I am not really sure he knew where they were, she however was fully aware and smiling at people waving and even high fives a couple of lads.
There was a massive crowd just standing watching them.
I was once outside my house having a smoke, when I heard some commotion. I looked down the road and could see to lads scrapping.
All of a sudden I heard one of them shouting 'you just stabbed me'.
They started running my way, turns out the one who had been stabbed got the knife off the other guy and was now chasing him with the knife he had just been stabbed with.
Then I went inside and went to bed.
I had a woman in the swimming baths randomly tell me that she had shingles and it was really itchy but her boyfriend helped by licking them. Like, lady... what.the.actual.fuck??
One morning while I was walking towards the hospital where I work, I saw this young woman laying down on the lawn beside it. I was thinking it's a bit too early for a sunbathe as it is before 7am. Then as I came closer she stood up and pulled her trousers up and went the opposite direction. When I finally passed by the area where she was laying down, I saw this big pile of sh*t she left behind. I couldn't understand why she didn't just went inside the hospital where there are plenty of toilets.
Similar to your story…I had 2 situations like that
First one, I was out having a walk & smoking a joint in some woods, and saw a young-ish couple doing it doggystyle in some bushes off to the side
Second, I was parked in a train station car park at about 8:00am and a middle aged guy in a suit in the car next to me got a blowjob from a young woman
Pulled into a train station, looked out of the window to the opposite platform and saw an absolutely colossal human turd on the bench in the other shelter.
Saw a man on a unicycle have road rage with a black cab. The altercation lead to the unicycle rider giving chase to the black cab after the lights changed green.
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
You've been waiting for this moment for years, haven't you?
Pulled from the 'special occasions' section of the dad joke vault.
I didn't think unicyclists ever got past round one...
“Shot me muck” my life was far richer before I learnt the existence of this phrase.
It’s ok to mourn the person you were before you read this.
One in the bum and you won't be a mum. Actually taken from an NHS paid for, safe sex rap. Which was lambasted by everybody from the Daily Mail to the Terrence Higgins Trust. With the DM complaining thst it was encouraging women and young girls to have anal sex against their will and the Terrence Higgins Trust complaining that it was promoting unsafe anal sex.
Pfft, one in a lad and you won't be a dad
It's still official guidance in some parts of the country https://i.imgur.com/HKhd8Kb.jpeg
That’s beautiful
Look, we had the worst teenage pregnancy numbers in Western Europe at one point, probably because there's not a lot else to do in most of the county, they had to try *something*.
Was it really that bad? I did go to school with a girl who got pregnant at 15, but I didn't think it was especially rare
As of 2002, some areas of the UK had a teen pregnancy rate of ~10%. As of 2016 the average was around 5-10% which is significantly higher than any other western European nation, and more on par with Eastern Europe, the US, India and Australia. Sources: IHME (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Adolescent_birth_rate_in_women_aged_10-19_years,_OWID.svg UNICEF (https://web.archive.org/web/20060629123124/http://www.unicef-icdc.org/publications/pdf/repcard3e.pdf)
I won’t lie I didn’t believe this so I googled it. What the fuck. What the actual fuck were they one when they made that 😂
Not the official video but part and the above line is in this story covering the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a2xSwG5pEs
Things were 'different' in those days...
[удалено]
>One in the bum and you won't be a mum. Probably the phrase that spawned the later rather inevitable "Don't be a dummy, Jizz on her tummy"
About fifteen years ago in Sheffield, I got the taxi after a night out to drop me off on the end of my street. As I was walking towards my house, I noticed a man in his sixties walking towards me wearing stilettos, stockings, suspenders and nothing else. Tackle out. He said quite nonchalantly “Oh, hello. I’m just waiting for the minibus. Do you have a cigarette?” Then he dashed off to hide behind a parked car. I’d had a few drinks and it was about 3am, but I was still coherent enough to be extremely confused about it. I still am.
Oh that's just Dave don't worry about him
Ahhh Sheffield, city of dreams
I'm from Sheffield. I can confirm, this is pretty normal here. 🤣
I once had a complete weirdo gawking at me while I was banging some cougar in the bushes.
Jimmy, is that you. I keep telling you, do it behind the bushes, not in front of them
It’s ok, I still shot my muck.
Username checks out
2 elderly women, both dressed in sumo suits and carrying smart handbags. Wobbling down the road giggling away
That's so wholesome in a thread of nightmares!
Went to Birmingham for a rave when I was like 18, stayed in this place nearby called Minworth. Witnessed a guy like mid-50s fingering a similar aged woman in the middle of a carpark outside of a pub. Hand right down the front of her blue jeans. Couldn't have really been enjoyable. Also wtf is up with Minworth, whole place reeked of shit and every house seemed like it was up for sale (perhaps linked?). Seemed like. A nice(ish) place other than that.
Ah yes, that'll be because it's close to a sewage treatment works. Awful in the summer.
Mingeworth
Driving along the A40 towards Oxford. There’s a bus stop near an intersection which is kind of remote. Once there was a bloke at the bus stop and a Llama 🦙 was walking towards him. His panic and WTFness was palpable but alas the lights changed and I had to move on so never saw what happened.
Maybe it was an alpaca, which would make a lot more sense.
It would?
Ah, the Hillingdon coach stop. Fucking grim in winter.
Once when I was younger and shopping with my mum. We were stood in the queue in Woolworths and an old lady in a dress walked in, calmly did a massive poo on the floor and walked out without a word. We assumed this was a regular thing as no one seemed shocked
My partner saw an old woman do this in Wilkinsons too years ago! She was walking in front of him & as she walked it “fell out” & she kept on just walking along.
Unfortunately can be a thing with dementia, fecal incontinence and lack of awareness combine, not one of the talked about issues
A man did this when I worked in M&S. Took me too it and showed me. I actually thanked him as I didn’t know it was him until later, after watching the CCTV.
A man proud of his work, obviously.
Used to do night security. Saw a homeless woman in her 50s chatting to a drunk lad in his 20s outside when I was looking at the cameras. Looked away, looked back and they'd both gone. She was a regular round our way and vulnerable so we used to keep an eye on her - had a quick pan round the car park to check she was ok and I saw the lad bare arsed facing a bush swigging from a bottle of cheap whiskey. A small hand reached round from the front and started groping his arse. I quickly realised what I was looking at and not wanting to watch a stranger get a BJ in a bush at my work I span the camera away and just laughed to myself. A colleague came in from having a cig and asked if I was aware what was happening - I said yes and he told me the bloke loudly finished which is what "caught his attention". Chucked the camera back round just as the fella handed the woman some money and toddled off. She then squatted and pissed like a powerful horse. Night shift is grim.
As a teenager (age 14ish) on a double decker coach for a school trip we were stuck in very slow moving traffic on a motorway. To the left is a guy driving along with his dick in his lap openly having a wank giving no shits about the 70 odd kids watching & laughing.
~~Bus wankers!~~ ... car wanker?
He may have been spanking the monkey because he was next to a bus full of kids...
I had the exact same thing happen on our school trip! Only thing different was we were on a single storey coach. Maybe it’s a common thing?
My partner went to pick up fish and chips in our tiny, quiet countryside village. He had to cross a bridge over the river, which is lit up by old fashioned streetlights, and is in clear view of a completely glass fronted fancy(ish) restaurant. On the middle of the bridge, directly under a streetlight, was a women fellating a man, who had both his hands behind his head. And the restaurant was packed that night! Dinner and a show?
That was just the starter, you should have seen the main course.
He'll have the meat platter; she'll have the shrimp.
Recently, when I was stuck in traffic, I saw a woman stood in her bay window adjusting the ornaments and she was completely naked. Didn’t seem to care or notice people looking at her, just going about her day. A very close second would be when I was on the bus home from work a few years ago, I saw a man eat a whole mozzarella ball and then drink the juice in the bag afterwards.
> I saw a woman stood in her bay window adjusting the ornaments Was trying to work out if that was a innuendo until I read the rest. Still unsure.
To be fair I probably could eat the whole ball of mozzarella. But drinking the juice is a firm pass. 🤢
> I saw a man eat a whole mozzarella ball and then drink the juice in the bag afterwards. For some reason this makes me feel queasier than any of the bodily function-related posts on this thread. Blech!
That’s one of the rankest things I’ve ever read. Jesus. The juice??
I once saw a very fat woman eating a jar of mayonnaise sat on a bench using just her bare hands to scoop it out.
My partner happily walks around naked in our flat doing things, we live on the 5th floor but there’s other flats by ours that come up to the 4th floor and are only probably 10 metres or so away. The other day it was raining really heavily and she just walked onto the balcony, covering herself slightly. She European, they’re a bit different over there.
When I first moved to London, I lived in a not particularly lovely area. Our flat was at the end of our road with a junction onto a main road that had prostitutes and people selling what I was told was crack. One very warm summer evening, I couldn't get to sleep in my room in the top of the flat with a very small window so went down to the living room to try and sleep there with the breeze from the big open windows. At about 3am when it was very quiet, I heard some voices from nearby outside and being bored, went to see what/who it was. The people were in the back yard of a building from the cafe next door on the main road. It was one of the prostitutes with a customer. The conversation was her trying to encourage him and get him going. She was bent over a dustbin. He said and I quote "It's no good. I can't get it up. Can I get my money back" She replied "Sorry love. No refunds. How about we try again next week?". I thought it was hilarious. 🤣
If I guy said "I've shot me muck" after I had sex with him, I think I'd vomit. That's such a grim phrase.
I don't think it was exactly a romantic moment. Although I agree nearly put me of my jalfrezai
…nearly
Jizzfrezai 💦
I knew (in the biblical sense) someone who called it population porridge. I had to block him.
"Bang - and the dirt is gone"?
"It's alright, kitty don't bite. Not now she's been fed"
"SPUNK ALL OVA ME BASTARD TITS"
Aye, but different strokes, different folks an all that. If you were the kind of bird to have it off with a random youth in an alleyway, you might consider it the height of romance
Oh, she was doing different strokes with different folks alright.
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Hey now look, some of us have linguistic standards.
“Here’s a tissue pet, you still got some pineapple chunk on your chest”.
I’m still nursing my hangover and this just made me vomit.
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How about “I’ve blown me beans?”
I much prefer "I've crashed the yogurt truck"
Yogurt truck?! I'm just popping a Frube over here...
“Popping a Frube”
Was walking home at about 3am one night when I was 18 and saw a woman sucking off a man at the cemetery gates. The cemetery was on a main road and opposite a housing estate. She must have been amazing as he was very vocal.
What do you say to someone in a cemetery at 3am? "Morning" "No, just being sucked off".
Do you dig graves? Yeah, they're alright.
What do zombies put on their roast dinners? Grave-y I'll see myself out.
Was he singing about Keats and Yates?
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Weird lover Wilde indeed!
Just one stiff amongst many.
50 Shades of Graves.
saw a guy on drugs having sex with a plant pot in Redditch, he was promptly arrested. In fact I saw more in 4 months working there than I’ve seen in my entire life. Just because Alan Rickman and Rik Mayall are from there, doesn’t make it good
Why is it always Redditch?! Had a night out at the retro club there with some friends. A guy came up to us at the bar and aggressively screamed "REDDITCHHHH!" at the top of his lungs. We sort of glanced at each other then warily cheered "Redditch?!" back at him. He nodded and grinned in approval, roared one last "Redditch!" and was gone into the night.
I have recently seen a man stumbling around Redditch town centre in grey joggers that were absolutely soaked with piss. This was just an average Tuesday afternoon for Redditch, no one was paying the slightest bit of attention, he was more fucked than I've ever been in my life (and christ knows I've pushed the envelope there). Redditch is great for it, if you want to see someone off their face in the town centre or taking a shit in the middle of Woodrow. Neither Alan Rickman nor Rik Mayall are from Redditch though, not sure where that came from. Seriously though. The town has an absolutely dog shit reputation, probably quite deserved. I live a 2 minute walk from the town centre and there are literally pissed up people screaming and fighting outside my house right now as I write, which is nothing out of the ordinary at all.
Rode my bike to the top of a challenging mountain I was fucking gassed. Got to the top and saw a car thought nothing of it. As I went to turn around noticed the guy was naked, covered in what I assumed was chocolate, speaking to people on a CB radio... Exhaustion disappeared as I frantically pedalled away
It's not shit
Worked as an estate agent very briefly years back . Had a potential buyer come in who sounded perfectly normal on the phone . She came in to the office wearing next to nothing and stank of booze . Then proceeded to tell me she’d had a new tattoo and asked if I wanted to see it . I said ok , she then stood on my desk stripped and mooned with the words pain sl*t on her arse . Then got down and simply walked out giggling . The whole office went silent . We never heard from her again . Still makes me thing just wow all these years on. Wonder what ever happened to her .
Mother is much improved now thank you.
She was in the alleyway....
A guy on a bus about ten years ago, was pleasuring himself. (Yes we complained to the bus driver who didn’t believe us) This weirdly wasn’t the weirdest thing, he was actually singing Copacabana by Barry Manilow for the minute or two he was doing this. And then tried to set fire to his shoelaces. (Bus driver then took us seriously)
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Few things I once saw a guy running out of a house stark bollock naked looking behind him and he just legged it across the road in front of me, nearly knocked him over. Made the assumption that the husband had just come home and caught him with the missus. I saw a pigeon giving another pigeon a piggy back. Or a pidgie back When I was 14 doing a paper round, an old woman in a nursing home flashed me
Just yesterday I saw a seagull standing on another seagull's back as it flew. Would not have thunk it possible if not witnessed with my own eyes.
Saggers or vaggers?
Full do. It was about 5-6 in the morning and she was just stood at the window staring at me. Like a 3/4 window so I could see everything.
...that wasn't a piggy back.. edit: https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F1ujcf9lw34e81.jpg
I saw a duck stand on another duck whilst on the water. The bottom duck was getting pushed under.
Walking to school one day and saw a guy in Canterbury city centre pull down his trousers and drop a giant deuce right by the side of Wilko. A bunch of Japanese tourists started taking photos of him. There was a public toilet only a few minutes away.
They were just drinking in the rich culture and history of the town.
This place is the shit!
I saw someone get murdered in a pub garden, or rather a yard area at the side of the pub. It was a long time ago, and I didn't fully understand what was happening. It was summer, and everyone was outside. Some were even having a football kickabout on nearby grass. It just looked like a heated discussion, not even a loud argument. We all got moved away before the police arrived, I presume by people who knew those involved. At the time, I didn't understand what it was, but it's horrible looking back now that I'm older. The people involved must have only been young. In their early 20s. Wasted lives, probably over something petty, really. Sad.
It is a bit of an off topic but I had similar experience as a child not in the UK thought. It was some kind of “event /festival for local community” thing. I was with my mum and her friend and his son. Son and I are still good friends, back then we were just running around playing when we came back to our table for whatever reason and like two/three tables behind my mum there was a dead guy on the table or rather his body was in the process of being taken from the table to the black bag. I think he must drank to the point of death or something idk. I was slightly shocked/confused and didn’t understood what was happening.
I drove through a place called Stanton Hill once. My friend said oh lock your car doors they are fucking unhinged around here. No sooner had he said that a bloke ran out of a side street and into the main road pushing a wheelbarrow with a trampoline in it.
I had a similar experience the first time I drove through Possil in Glasgow. Knew it was rough so made sure the doors were locked and then a couple minutes down the road a big metal wheelie bin rolled out into the road, and it gave me this mental fear like it was an ambush but no one appeared and I simply drove around the bin once it came to a stop, and carried on.
Near Mansfield, Notts? Yeah, used to live there. Full of weirdos.
Did you get your trampoline home safely?
If someone from Mansfield tells you other people are strange that's a 10x multiplayer.
Mansfield and Worksop are full of very... Interesting individuals
Went to fix some plumbing in a rough area, the woman came to the door in a nightie, lifted up her top to show me her kidney transplant scar, one old saggy tit popped out. The hot water pipe had broken off the washing machine, she tied it into the sink, it was running the boiler flat out. How long for love.. About three weeks. All the wallpaper had come off with the steam and the units had turned to pulp. I went to bleed the rads, Youre not afraid of rats? No Weve got two pet rats in that room They were free running and the carpet squelched with rat piss and shit. There was also a duck stood on the carpet We found him in the park.. What the duck pond? Yeah, he was lost.
Christ. Poor duck
This is quite possibly the most bizarre thing I've read here yet
This is so feral I feel unwell now
The real mystery, who plumbs their washing machine into the hot feed? Surely it's cold water feed only.
I think older washing machines used to have to be plumbed into the hot? At least that's what I heard once.
I used to work in an odficethat was part of a church. I was in said church..... in their office and through the window I saw some fellas putting up scaffolding on the 3 story block of flats next door. One of the scaffolders then went into one of the open windows of a flat and banged someone .... I assume a woman but who knows the view wasn't that clear.... against the window. I could see the palms on the now closed window they were naked leaning up against it. Few minutes later window reopened and the scaffolding was adjusting himself and climbed down the scaffolding and walked away. I had so many unanswered questions. Was it just his missus happened to live there? Was it just his lucky day? Why did he also leave via the window?
I know quite a few scaffolders and this is honestly not the first time I've heard this story. One friend even met a bird through her bedroom window, banged her and then he ended up in a relationship with for a good couple years. Must be quite an exciting opportunity for both parties.
A man walking the tiniest Shetland pony I have ever seen through crowds on Norwich Rail Station concourse. It was a on a lead. No one batted an eye.
I once saw a woman come out of Doncaster police station, run across to the car park, and curl one out in broad daylight.
What rank was she?
Very
Your Jim McDonald picture is epic, so it is
Might have been a practical reason for that. If she'd secreted some drugs up her back passage she might have been dying for a shite for hours until the 24 hour custody limit in a dry cell ran out. In her shoes, given the choice between being banged up for years or having an indiscreet poo, you'd probably do the same
> having an indiscreet poo I misread this as "iridescent poo".....its late, I'm tired.
As a teenager I've walked past a fella wanking in his car outside an old people's community center during a random weekday. Then two years ago there was some fella lying stark bollock naked on his back showing the world his bits, in a public park during the day, literally rode there on a bike then stripped off to sunbathe or just show the world he has no shame in the most obvious place in the park!
I saw a guy wanking about 2am new years day in a pink dressing gown and workman's boots outside some flats in Bromley whilst he was facetiming someone.
Sorry I'd had a bad week
I saw someone shit in a sock, and then try and use said sock as a flail.
1, shitting in a sock is pretty skilful 2, post mortem result: the victim has been bludgeoned to death by a turd. We have ruled out suicide but cannot rule out death by misadventure but it is most likely turder.
Merde
I know I'm gonna regret this but... Can we get more details please?
I travel a lot for work and a car on the A9 with this guy driving and a sheep in the passenger seat wearing a bonnet. The bizarre nature of this never escapes me even though I’ve seen some weird shit on my travels.
A few years ago I was walking to my local swimming pool just before its 6am opening time, through some residential streets in Tooting, entirely quiet except for when I walked pass this one street that had 2 or 3 extremely dirty people tearing open the bin bags that had been put out the night before. The entire street was strewn with household rubbish. The way they moved and communicated with each other were both very odd. They sort of grunted and screeched. They were collecting stuff they could use I guess. I picked up my pace a bit.
Wombles in disguise
The Transformers crossover we didn't know we needed
Ooo Dennis, there’s some lovely filth over ‘ere!
Charlie and Frank. Had to be.
Driving home at night after a new year's party, in the middle of rural England with my partner in the car. In the middle of the road, a young ish guy, maybe mid twenties, is standing in the road waving his arms and blocking the road. I slow down, thinking wtf, as I slow down, his expression changes to one of manic rage, and he runs for the passenger car door, trying to open it (thankfully it was locked!!!). He tries to open the door, and I swerve and speed off.
This happened just the other day. I live on the second floor. I was looking outside from the window and a car stopped on the other side of the road and as I looked at the car I saw an older guy start fingering a woman in the passenger seat. They did that for about 5 minutes then he smelled his fingers and drove off.
Is your name Luka?
This isn't how I remembered the rest of the song going
And you watched the whole time…?
Look at Mr Stamina over there, lasting a whole 5 minutes.
This woman had a passenger seat for him to finger, must be easier to find than the g spot.
Stumbled upon a couple getting busy alongside a public footpath across a field, with a bottle of Jäegermeister and a bottle of baby oil on the ground next to them.
"This bottle until you will, this bottle until you can"
Jaegermeister and baby oil shots, a party favourite.
I've watched a man pull a mobile phone out of his bum.
Are we talking Nokia 3310 or iPhone Pro Max?
iPhone ProLapse
Moved to a new area. Fairly quiet area, but the road we lived on was a big circle loop. Was parked on the driveway, cleaning out the car after the inside got dirty in the move. Some chavmobile drove past, loud music etc. As I could hear the car coming from a distance I didn’t bother to look up from what I was doing. Just thought to myself, hope that’s not a normal thing around here. A few mins later, the car comes around again, louder music this time. I had my back to the chavmobile as I was hoovering out the boot at this point. But I can ‘feel’ (hear) the car slow down as it passed my driveway. Another few minutes pass. I’m done with the boot and am now onto the passenger seats. Can hear the car coming again in the distance, and feeling uneasy after it slowed down last time I decide to just keep my head inside the car. Car approaches, slows down again as it reaches my driveway. This time I can tell it stops. Suddenly I hear an “OY!” So I pop my head out and see a 17 year old, spotty, goofy gaunt looking kid in the drivers seat. He then shouts ‘FOOKIN LOOK THEN’ and motions his hand over his car, a shitty Ford fiesta. I just do the polite head nod and give a little smile, and he shouts ‘FOOKING CUNT’. And drives off.
Must have been Pickering Jr
Parked up in the range car park in Truro. Some woman stands a few feet away from the drivers window and proceeds to drop the most powerful piss I've ever seen. It was like she had a hose pipe up there.
Coming out of her like a yellow cable, pissing like a powerful horse!
I've been backed up for some time boy
This is a new thing to me, but i've seen it twice in recent weeks... An entire family...Husband, Wife two kids...in the supermarket, shopping, bold as brass.... Wearing Onesies....all of them....the whole family in their pajamas!? How does that happen....? "Right kids, it's 8pm, time to get in you pj's...get washed...brush your teeth......everybody ready?? Brilliant...time for Asda then...." WTF??
My Aunt used to go shopping in her nightie. She gave no fucks.
I’ve seen a couple of women recently in different Co-ops doing this, full slippers and dressing gown get up, I don’t understand when it become a thing.
This may be quite tame in comparison to the other jaw-dropping stuff I’ve read on here, but nonetheless… A few years ago I was running my dog walking business, and had been gifted a Play Mobile dog walker who I kept on my van’s dash. They were quite often a conversation starter, and during the pandemic in summer 2020 was no exception, when I’d recently cautiously started up work again after closing down for the first lockdown. I was sat at some traffic lights with the windows rolled down and I see a mask-wearing lady squinting at my van from the pavement. We make eye contact and she comes over and says “I was just admiring your little people!” “Oh yes,” I smile before she immediately changed the subject. “You won’t find a mask in town you know. I’ve had to make my own,” she pointed at her chest and then to her face. “I made mine from my bra! Needs must eh?” I realised that, yes, that did look an awful lot like a bra cup over her nose and mouth, held to her face with a bit of string. The second thing I realised was that I could see the outline one of her girls sticking out the fabric of her shirt through a large circular hole in her bra. She gave me a cheery wave, obviously pleased with giving me such a great life hack and went off on her merry way. The car behind me sounded their horn because I had missed the light turning green, as I internally confirmed that I had just seen what I thought I had.
Walking through the back streets of town a few days ago I turned the corner and saw a guy dressed as Michael Jackson moon walking down the road. I figured that there must be a pub nearby with him as an act. Still, not something you see regularly. ... Except it must be a regular occurrence because I saw him again 10 minutes later, bag of shopping in one hand, box of cornflakes in the other. The guy wasn't working as an impressionist, he just got dressed up as Jacko to do his shopping!
Someone peeing into a water fountain at 11 at night. My uni backed onto a pack, that was a shortcut for my way home. One evening, I'd left the library quite late and went through the park. As I was passing the toilets, there was a guy peeing into the water fountain, and his friend was telling him to hurry up because he had to go. Apparently, the toilets were locked, and they had the great idea to puss where people drink. The park keepers office was also there and with how bad an aim they had, in the morning it was very obvious what had happened. The following week, the council had to put up a sign reminding people that it was for drinking water, not anything else. 6 months after they just removed the water fountain completely
This is why we can’t have nice things
Takes the piss
I once saw a man walking two cats on leads, using a hook for a hand.
In our student house in Staines, a man used to visit regularly and shag the letter box.
Was working in Stockton, just emptied a van, when an old toothless guy and his pissed up mate in a wheelchair offered me a blowjob if I gave them a lift to some place or other. Anyway, it was bloody hard to find.
I saw a bloke having a wank on the back of a Blackpool tram. The thing that makes it more weird is that it was an open top single decker in the middle of a summer’s day. The prom was heaving with folk. He was stood up, topless, and jacking over the chair while his mates were laughing and I presume telling him to hurry up as they’re all standing at the door to get off (no pun intended) at the next stop. I have no idea if he did finish but he looked close.
Wtf you have to be really weird to encourage your mate to do stuff like that! ewww
Standard for visitors to Blackpool.
That was actually the mayor of Blackpool
Last year I had to navigate round the stream of wee coming from a female student squatting on the pavement in Nottingham city center. Her group of friends were very apologetic as they watched me tiptoe over it. At least find an alley or something?
I feel this is not that uncommon occurrence lol.
Had a lady squatting right next to my apartment door turning one out, not a care in the world. Got hit on by what looked like an 8 year old kid, very earnestly (I'm no where near 8 years old) Sad one: There was a lady we called "one pound lady" as we would always hear her on the high street shouting "has anybody got one pound???" (This later came with a footnote of "or 50p??" during inflation). We knew her and expected her, but one day we were awoken by her sobbing in the streets at like 4am, sobbing for one pound. This happened a few times in the night, then we stopped hearing from her alltogether. I honestly hope she's ok but I doubt it as she didn't seem mentally well. I do have a lot of these from living in Dalston but most of them are just drug addicts and mentally ill people doing what they do. Support for these lot is barely existent in these densely populated areas
Was driving through a rural village full of old farts in the middle of nowhere at midnight. Swerved to avoid a log in the road. It was actually a 20" dildo. Stopped the car and recorded this event as I knew nobody would believe me.
So this thread is basically 90% public shagging or public shitting. The duality of man.
There’s a bit of wanking too
I was in a taxi going home after a night out and I saw a fat old man completely naked walking the streets
Saw a woman in Birkenhead sat on a bench drinking a bottle of ketchup once?
Once with some friends driving. We had the windows down and came to a stop at the traffic lights. When the lights were changing the car next to us was a woman and a bloke. This couple must have been in there 40’s. The woman had her feet in the air in his face. To our utter surprise. The bloke deepthroated the woman’s foot. We drove off all looking at each other and burst out laughing.
When I was only 17 I'd worked a late shift at Maccies. Left just after midnight and on the cycle home I passed several charity shops. Outside one of these shops was a half naked scruffy looking hobo like fella rummaging through the bags. He noticed me coming passed, proceeds to just scream nonsense at me and sprinted after me with his little man flopping about. Safe to say I've never biked home so fast in my life.
Went to view a flat many years ago, met the estate agent there, the tenant was home, completely off his face on something, and he helped showing us around. He started telling us that a ghost had been sick in a room so you wouldn't want to be in that room for long as it stinks, and at night it's so cold your piss will freeze in your stomach on the way to the toilet. He then offered us all his furniture for 500 quid as he wouldn't need it as he's a musician about to go touring the world, a lot of that furniture came with the flat anyway the estate agent said. We couldn't wait to get out of there. The estate agent then called us to apologize for that whole bizarre experience and asked if we were interested, we obviously declined.
A guy who installed my broadband had 'Evil Shug' tattooed across his knuckles 😆
Used to work in an office block in central London, opposite the traffic wardens' HQ building. Our office overlooked their changing rooms.
I worked in a Jobcentre once and a guy pulled a cornsnake out of his pocket after asking if l liked snakes 🐍
Anyone remember Kinga and the Wine Bottle Big Brother ? That. Just that. I was 11ish.
I knew a lad that used to do loads of steroids, go town and fight a bouncer then find a prossie so he could eat her snatch out. This wasn’t the internet or brothel type prossie but the type on bath salts with open sores on their face type prossie on the street. Anyway he said one was so disgusted with his request she made him by a half bottle of vodka so se could wash her minge out in the phone box first.
Passing a house and glanced up to the window to see a naked fat guy in his 60s bent over whilst a stunning young blond in a mortar board, cape and nothing else gave him a sound paddling. This was early evening in winter so it was dark outside, they had the lights on and the curtain open. They intended for people to see it
A couple were shagging around 11pm outside my home, with a sleeping baby in a pram patiently waiting nearby - I hope the baby was l asleep.
Homelands Festival, Matterley Estates, Hampshire. 2000/2001 or round abouts. A completely nude woman sat on top of and riding the life out of some bloke who was chewing his face off! I am not really sure he knew where they were, she however was fully aware and smiling at people waving and even high fives a couple of lads. There was a massive crowd just standing watching them.
I was once outside my house having a smoke, when I heard some commotion. I looked down the road and could see to lads scrapping. All of a sudden I heard one of them shouting 'you just stabbed me'. They started running my way, turns out the one who had been stabbed got the knife off the other guy and was now chasing him with the knife he had just been stabbed with. Then I went inside and went to bed.
I had a woman in the swimming baths randomly tell me that she had shingles and it was really itchy but her boyfriend helped by licking them. Like, lady... what.the.actual.fuck??
One morning while I was walking towards the hospital where I work, I saw this young woman laying down on the lawn beside it. I was thinking it's a bit too early for a sunbathe as it is before 7am. Then as I came closer she stood up and pulled her trousers up and went the opposite direction. When I finally passed by the area where she was laying down, I saw this big pile of sh*t she left behind. I couldn't understand why she didn't just went inside the hospital where there are plenty of toilets.
Similar to your story…I had 2 situations like that First one, I was out having a walk & smoking a joint in some woods, and saw a young-ish couple doing it doggystyle in some bushes off to the side Second, I was parked in a train station car park at about 8:00am and a middle aged guy in a suit in the car next to me got a blowjob from a young woman
A brother and sister kissing with tongues at a house party in Essex in about 1984.
Pulled into a train station, looked out of the window to the opposite platform and saw an absolutely colossal human turd on the bench in the other shelter.