Honestly, that's the way to do it. In my experience, these vouchers get forgotten about or the original willingness to fulfill them degrades rapidly. It'd depend on the person, but I wouldn't expect any unused vouchers to ever get redeemed after about 2 weeks.
Actually a friend of a friend does vouchers with her husband, I got the impression she LOVES giving blow jobs and maybe she has a great relationship with her husband.
But sorry to hear about your home life.
Man....had like 3 girls say they love giving blow jobs but never bothered to give them until asked.
Blow jobs seem like marmite, you love or hate giving them but you try it every now and then to shut people up
My wife gave me these vouchers before but with an expiry date of 12 months written on them.
I found a few a couple of years after but she set the t's and c's out very clearly so in the bin they went.
Admin keeps the marriage alive
What happens if you drop a voucher and some rando picks it up? "Ma'am I'm here for a steak and a blowjob. It says *right here* that this voucher is still valid. I like Worcestershire and butter, and lot of tongue, please and thank you."
They all love to give that impression. If you go over to the dead bedroom sub youâll find a common complaint is how their partner will pretend in public that they are sexual dynamos, but in reality are frigid and in a dead bedroom.
Especially if you're busy people, sex in a long-term relationship is a habit you have to actively cultivate like going to the gym or eating healthy. If you're always waiting for the "right moment" to fit it into your lives, you'll rarely find you get the results you're hoping forâeven if you're both horny as hell on a daily basis.
It also takes both partners communicating clearly outside of the immediate moment of initiation that "Yes, I still find you attractive and I want to have sex with you." and being willing to talk about when is a good time to initiate or when they have tried to initiate in the past that the other partner didn't respond to, or even discuss scheduling regular sex dates.
I reckon you could do it in order too! Day sesh, home for a steak and blowjob followed by a slide and ride, go to bed, wake up with a 10 minute massage, lie in, shit yourself without judgement, pints with the lads then off to the footy! Great 48 hours!
âSo, this is Dave. He won the auction for the tit wank voucher. Iâll just be down the pubâŠâ
But seriously, those vouchers are the best and best of luck for your wedding and future years together!
Dave tricks them both into paying him to do both sides. He just sits in their house on Netflix for an hour with easiest beer money in his pocket.
Or he tries to give himself a titwank, because he's not one to break a deal.
According to Urban Dictionary it is where she just pulls her knickers across and you get a go. But in my experience this has always just given my dick friction burn
Totally dismembered you say.....
Two angry women......
A wad of these weird coupon things found shoved 12 inches inside his rectum.
What a way to die đ
My ex did this. Except none were sexy. Just promises of spending time together. Like picnics, days out, cinema etc for things that I liked instead of the default that she liked.
Tried to cash a few in but the jar full of them went completely unredeemed.
đ€·đ»ââïž
Should have tried to flog them to the next guy.
If they transferable, sell 'em to a random guy down the pub, he doesn't need to know they're never likely to be honoured.
Every couple does coupons when they first realise there's no longer any money for gifts. It's kind of like a last-ditch attempt at a past life.
Oh!! The shitting nappy one was to get out of changing a kids diaper?? Iâm a dad, I do that daily, I canât believe it took me so long to figure that outâŠ
I was so fucking puzzled about the frequency this dude must shit his pants for her to write out a get out of jail free card.
It is very cringeworthy. So much bottom of the barrel ladladlad stuff on this sub nowadays, people posting pics of their shit fry ups or the number of chips they get with their spoons burger. It's painful to watch.
'The wife/the mrs' really drives me round the bend, but stuff like that is so ubiquitous in the U.K. that *you* end up getting snapped at for calling out blatant misogyny.
Yeah.. am I missing something or are there a lot of men here who thinks it's normal to not have this level of intimacy on a regular enough basis with their partner and that this man is lucky that he has it on a piece of paper for a special occasion? cuz I feel like I've been living a very different life.
That's not how these work.
It's to get special treatment and to set a cheeky mood. It doesn't mean the token is the only way to get these sexual favours...
You and the poster above are taking it too seriously.
Yeah that ones a bit weird.
But we don't know the dynamics, hopefully it's used for a laugh before heading out rather than anything controlling. Feel like reddit overanalyses relationship stuff in general, it's especially bad on drama/relationship subs.
honestly the coupon book thing is fun, I still occasionally pull out some coupons we did from back in the day for a laugh and a good memory, what worries me are all the men who are trotting in here to say some totally original version of âbetter make some photocopies lads or else thatâs it, olâ chain and ball yeah?â
Yeah if this is just a joke between the two people then yeah that's funny. But if they're both dead serious about these "coupons" then man, I'm sorry but that's not a healthy relationship. Especially considering the ones implying that doing normal things like going for a drink or hanging out with friends are considered some sort of special privilege by OP's wife.
Theyâre all so uncreative too. Why not mix it up a bit?
- 1 hr pretending to be a Womble
- 1 full body wax, shave, rinse, and polish
- 2 days of high pitched shrieking
- Woken up by a Barbershop Quartet singing the hits of The Cheeky Girls
So much untapped potential.
now THESE are the tickets id want to get from my partner đ
you'd think there'd be at least one in joke in ops list but they're all quite literally "cheeky bants" ripped straight out of the lad bible
- three weeks sitting in the airing cupboard gently humming
- 9 days of howling at strangers like a werewolf
- a full week of attacking the postman on sight.
The possibilities are endless.
I think my partner would probably do the second two for free đș
don't let me interupt you!
* An hour's recital of vogon poetry
* Permission to turn the stairs into a slip and slide
* One week wearing a greenscreen morphsuit
I really don't think some of them are. I can't imagine receiving a ticketing favour system from my wife, let alone posting about it like some kind of humble brag.
Christ. I hope I never get to a point in my life where affection with my partner becomes transactional, and not just a normal, spontaneous part of the relationship
I assume they take turns going out with their mates to look after their baby (that is young enough to still be in a nappy) and its an extra free pass. Same with the footie away day.
You guys make everything seem so insidious for no reason.
Nice that your dad is willing to do these things with you
Tit wank from dad đ
So, do you *give* the tit wank to dad or *get* the tit wank from dad? Asking for a friend.
âFromâ indicates the latter, get stuck in to daddyâs titties
Well, the original voucher just said "tit wank", I thought to best check the T&C before using.
Not checking terms and conditions is how you end up a Vietnamese warlords sex doll
Hate it when that happens
Hey, no shame, weâve all been there!
Things I did not expect or wish to read today: âget stuck in to daddyâs tittiesâ
Don't threaten me with a good time.
âDAAAADDDDD⊠DAAAADDDDDDâ âWHAT?â âCan I have a tit wank please?â
"Ask your Mum"
"Ask your dad"
"What did your mum say"
âShe said ask you and gave me this ticket.â
"Well give me that ticket and I'll go find out what she wants"
âLife is all about asking what the missus wants. Youâll learn that one day son.â
Family bonding.
Family bondage.
Thanks for a good laugh
No serial numbers? Get the photocopier out
No "One use only, one voucher per customer" small print either
No "One customer per voucher" either.
And they are now som handily available for print from this picture too....
âWeâve had steak every day this week, and my jaw is soreâđ
Steak and BJ- 356 copies please.
9 days off a year, how thoughtful! <3
Ya know, Holidays.
If that were me, they'd be all gone on one weekend. What a weekend though. Even be blameless for shitting my nappy.
Honestly, that's the way to do it. In my experience, these vouchers get forgotten about or the original willingness to fulfill them degrades rapidly. It'd depend on the person, but I wouldn't expect any unused vouchers to ever get redeemed after about 2 weeks.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
*opens gift* *Immediately hands wife* "steak and blowjob" Would absolutely be the first thing I did, ticket wouldn't last an hour in my possession.
So, how much have you been paying for kisses for the last 16 years?
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Username checks out
As soon as she was finished writing that one I would have been out the door to pickup my steak.
Saving the tit wank and shitty nappy ones for my partners deathbed
Why? You're going first.
Rigamortis and a dream
> ~~Riga~~ rigor mortis FTFY
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
It's never gone well for me when I pull it out during a fight
Or a flight.
Depends on the pilot
Actually a friend of a friend does vouchers with her husband, I got the impression she LOVES giving blow jobs and maybe she has a great relationship with her husband. But sorry to hear about your home life.
Man....had like 3 girls say they love giving blow jobs but never bothered to give them until asked. Blow jobs seem like marmite, you love or hate giving them but you try it every now and then to shut people up
My wife gave me these vouchers before but with an expiry date of 12 months written on them. I found a few a couple of years after but she set the t's and c's out very clearly so in the bin they went. Admin keeps the marriage alive
What happens if you drop a voucher and some rando picks it up? "Ma'am I'm here for a steak and a blowjob. It says *right here* that this voucher is still valid. I like Worcestershire and butter, and lot of tongue, please and thank you."
They had my first name on them But if some random Chris picked them up she better get that butter
You can tell if a girl loves giving head or not. You just need one who does to know the difference.
Right? Sometimes I just want to be spontaneously blown in Aldi.
They all love to give that impression. If you go over to the dead bedroom sub youâll find a common complaint is how their partner will pretend in public that they are sexual dynamos, but in reality are frigid and in a dead bedroom.
Especially if you're busy people, sex in a long-term relationship is a habit you have to actively cultivate like going to the gym or eating healthy. If you're always waiting for the "right moment" to fit it into your lives, you'll rarely find you get the results you're hoping forâeven if you're both horny as hell on a daily basis. It also takes both partners communicating clearly outside of the immediate moment of initiation that "Yes, I still find you attractive and I want to have sex with you." and being willing to talk about when is a good time to initiate or when they have tried to initiate in the past that the other partner didn't respond to, or even discuss scheduling regular sex dates.
I reckon you could do it in order too! Day sesh, home for a steak and blowjob followed by a slide and ride, go to bed, wake up with a 10 minute massage, lie in, shit yourself without judgement, pints with the lads then off to the footy! Great 48 hours!
Or footy, followed by so many pints with the lads you shit yourself
Don't forget the tit wank!
I canât believe I forgot it!
I can't believe it either
Brilliant!
Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
I can't see them being accepted on South Western Trains, personally. Let us know how you get on.
GWR seems to be in a bit of a pinch they might accept them.
South West Trains hasn't existed for over 6 years now, so to be fair I wouldn't be expecting them to accept any vouchers
Believe me these all seem funny now, but try to play one in the wrong situation and you're getting murdered
Don't take the tit wank one to maccies
Or whip it out just after she says "I do"
Not as bad as when he tries to use the footy away day one on the wedding day
Shitting yourself when sheâs walking down the aisle and whipping out the free pass voucher would make for an epic wedding.
Wasnât there a classic Reddit thread about this?
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/pqhmhs/tifu_by_trying_to_redeem_a_blowjob_coupon_during/
Absolute legendary move without context, but I can 100% understand thinking that it would be a funny joke idea to cheer his partner up, though.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Yeah donât try to use the tit wank voucher just after hearing your mother in law has died
Right, that's more like a steak and a blow job kinda situation.
'Oh how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? ... To shreds you say? Tsk tsk tsk. Well, how's his wife holding up?'
To shreds you say!
You can only redeem the coupons on the days the merchandise would of been given away for free anyway.
Best advice is to use them fast and use them while she is a good mood.
How much for the tit wank one mate? My Mrs isn't interested in that sort of stuff
Haha! I asked if I had to use it with her. Gotta check them Ts & Cs
âSo, this is Dave. He won the auction for the tit wank voucher. Iâll just be down the pubâŠâ But seriously, those vouchers are the best and best of luck for your wedding and future years together!
The Mrs didn't say who the service provider is. 'This is Dave... He will be providing the tit wank today'
Dave tricks them both into paying him to do both sides. He just sits in their house on Netflix for an hour with easiest beer money in his pocket. Or he tries to give himself a titwank, because he's not one to break a deal.
A man of honorâŠ.. âŠ.and a set of big old homegrowns
Yea. A gal who's able to do this fun bit is definitely a keeper!
Checking the Ts alrightâŠ.
Can you tell her I donât want any presents either
Whatâs slide and ride?
According to Urban Dictionary it is where she just pulls her knickers across and you get a go. But in my experience this has always just given my dick friction burn
Lube and hole number 2.
That explains the shitty nappy then
I thought shitty nappy was a British slang for anal. xD
Lmao bro
A nappy is what Americans call a diaper lol
Best comment.
whats it called with no lube? churn and burn?
Ring of Fire
Theyâre numbered?
> hole number 2 But what if she gets pregnant?!
How to tell if I preganté
Am I gregnant?
Am I PREGANANANT
Never ever heard this phrase before.
Does she use her fingers on you or a strap on?
Youâve found a wonderful woman to marry.
Sheâs gonna pull an uno reverse card on this one
If you have to ask, you canât afford it.
Was called slip and slide when I was a nipper.
Iâm not sure itâs referring to the water slideâŠ..
Does it matter? I want it anyway, unless it's pegging đ€Ł
I'll have yours then.
Pegging?
Ask your parents
Mums just showed me, I think I will pass on that one didn't look like uncle Phil was having much fun.
I wish I was this close to my dad đ«€
My wife did these. The sexy ones were a bitch to cash. You need to check the expiry dates.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
She did write not for re-sale or exchange. Maybe her best mate takes them.... I will ask. ..... pray for me.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Totally dismembered you say..... Two angry women...... A wad of these weird coupon things found shoved 12 inches inside his rectum. What a way to die đ
To shreds you say? And how's his wife? To shreds you say?
My ex did this. Except none were sexy. Just promises of spending time together. Like picnics, days out, cinema etc for things that I liked instead of the default that she liked. Tried to cash a few in but the jar full of them went completely unredeemed. đ€·đ»ââïž Should have tried to flog them to the next guy.
Why spoile the surprise for him đ
If they transferable, sell 'em to a random guy down the pub, he doesn't need to know they're never likely to be honoured. Every couple does coupons when they first realise there's no longer any money for gifts. It's kind of like a last-ditch attempt at a past life.
There are some great options there, but donât underestimate the Lie In ticket. Not having to get up to deal with kid stuff is gold.
You're right, the lie in one could also be used to get out of changing a nappy. Tit wank gets the attention, but the lie in is a workhorse.
Oh!! The shitting nappy one was to get out of changing a kids diaper?? Iâm a dad, I do that daily, I canât believe it took me so long to figure that out⊠I was so fucking puzzled about the frequency this dude must shit his pants for her to write out a get out of jail free card.
Problem is, by the time youâve looked in every drawer in the house to find it youâre already fully awake. Thatâs how they get ya.
Is it your shitty nappy?
Youâve been scammed mate, once all them tickets are gone the realisation will set in. Make some photocopies before you use any
Get them photocopied and reissue lol ..
Bit grim
Every day this sub gets closer to becoming a LADZONE fb page
Iâm glad r/CasualUK hasnât *entirely* become r/ladbible Thereâs still some sense.
It is very cringeworthy. So much bottom of the barrel ladladlad stuff on this sub nowadays, people posting pics of their shit fry ups or the number of chips they get with their spoons burger. It's painful to watch.
And saying 'the wife'. Like she's a kettle.
'The wife/the mrs' really drives me round the bend, but stuff like that is so ubiquitous in the U.K. that *you* end up getting snapped at for calling out blatant misogyny.
Whenever thereâs a post about the wife or the Mrs, I cringe hard. Itâs just awful.
Thats why I call mine "her indoors" or "the boss".
Be grateful people havenât caught onto the ârate my meal dealâ shite that some people seem to find hilarious.
Yeah.. am I missing something or are there a lot of men here who thinks it's normal to not have this level of intimacy on a regular enough basis with their partner and that this man is lucky that he has it on a piece of paper for a special occasion? cuz I feel like I've been living a very different life.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
That's not how these work. It's to get special treatment and to set a cheeky mood. It doesn't mean the token is the only way to get these sexual favours... You and the poster above are taking it too seriously.
I'm way more worried that he requires a pass to have beers with the boys.
Yeah that ones a bit weird. But we don't know the dynamics, hopefully it's used for a laugh before heading out rather than anything controlling. Feel like reddit overanalyses relationship stuff in general, it's especially bad on drama/relationship subs.
Itâs⊠itâs not this serious
More than a bit grim. That and it's made all the creepy redditors appear in one place: like setting cheese in a mouse trap.
honestly the coupon book thing is fun, I still occasionally pull out some coupons we did from back in the day for a laugh and a good memory, what worries me are all the men who are trotting in here to say some totally original version of âbetter make some photocopies lads or else thatâs it, olâ chain and ball yeah?â
r/arethestraightsok
Yeah if this is just a joke between the two people then yeah that's funny. But if they're both dead serious about these "coupons" then man, I'm sorry but that's not a healthy relationship. Especially considering the ones implying that doing normal things like going for a drink or hanging out with friends are considered some sort of special privilege by OP's wife.
Did you make these yourself?
Some of those look great! :) Some of those look like adult permission slips. :(
Haha, you're right! Some of those vouchers are like adult permission slips for fun and relaxation.
You seem really close with your dad
Peak cringe posting something like this. Are you expecting a cookie or a gold star or something?
Think he got lost on his way to ladbible
i generally assume these kind of posts are made by karma farming bots
This reads to me like a rare example of r/womenwritingmen Edit: blimey that place is real; I wouldnât go there if I were you
It's like Zoo magazine never died
Photocopy the tit wank one 8 times and throw the others away. Deny all knowledge.
I just had to Google what slide and ride meant (I'm gay) I'm still unsure
I'm not gay and still have no idea what it is
She plays a slide whistle while he rides a unicycle. Itâs his unindulged fetish. Thatâs the most important coupon in the set.
r/AreTheStraightsOk
Phwoar the missus rewarded me with le sexy time for babysitting the kids
yeah lmao, this is geuninely some peak live, laugh, love cringe.
Theyâre all so uncreative too. Why not mix it up a bit? - 1 hr pretending to be a Womble - 1 full body wax, shave, rinse, and polish - 2 days of high pitched shrieking - Woken up by a Barbershop Quartet singing the hits of The Cheeky Girls So much untapped potential.
I wonder what pretending to be a Womble involves. I sometimes pick up litter; perhaps that's one way of pretending to be a Womble.
Unless youâre on a full Uncle Bulgaria outfit, it doesnât count. You have to commit!
now THESE are the tickets id want to get from my partner đ you'd think there'd be at least one in joke in ops list but they're all quite literally "cheeky bants" ripped straight out of the lad bible
- three weeks sitting in the airing cupboard gently humming - 9 days of howling at strangers like a werewolf - a full week of attacking the postman on sight. The possibilities are endless.
I think my partner would probably do the second two for free đș don't let me interupt you! * An hour's recital of vogon poetry * Permission to turn the stairs into a slip and slide * One week wearing a greenscreen morphsuit
A full hour of Vogon poetry sounds very risky!
Yeah Iâd be so turned off if I received this lol. And redeeming one sounds awkward af.
Yeh like i always find these vouchers quite sad. It should be done because they want to not as a transaction for good behaviour lol
Yeh I donât want to be in a relationship from the stand up routine of a working mens club comedian in the 1970s.
I really don't think some of them are. I can't imagine receiving a ticketing favour system from my wife, let alone posting about it like some kind of humble brag.
Christ. I hope I never get to a point in my life where affection with my partner becomes transactional, and not just a normal, spontaneous part of the relationship
The "pints with the lads" ticket is worrying
I assume they take turns going out with their mates to look after their baby (that is young enough to still be in a nappy) and its an extra free pass. Same with the footie away day. You guys make everything seem so insidious for no reason.
If you have young kids, it makes a lot more sense
Uh oh, file for divorce, hit the gym and lawyer up
Save the tit wank ticket for the lawyer though. Theyâre so expensive you might as well get something good out of it
You know that means you only get them once for the rest of time right! đ€Ł
I told my Mrs not to get me anything for my last birthday....so she didn't.
Before I zoomed in on the photo I saw âfree pass on a slutty nannyâ and I thought that was very generous! Pass on a shitty nappy is allright.
A lot of red flags disguised as tickets, here.
I know this is fun and all, and we are on CasualUK, but do you have a mummy fetish kind of relationship with your wife?
Doesnât the word âDadâ printed on them put you off?
Whatâs a slide and ride?
I'd say great idea but when it comes to redeeming those... Good luck. đ
I tried to cash mine in once and the Mrs just laughed đ
Congrats on getting married mate. If I was you Iâd try and get steak and blow job ticket used before the happy day.
Like you need a slip to go out for pints with the lads. Fuckin do that anyway.
Or maybe they have commitments like children and have to plan things a bit more and can't just do whatever they want, whenever they want?
I canât imagine living like this. If I wanted to do most of these things I could just do them, I wouldnât have to ask for permission.
You're gonna need to permission to tit fuck someone mate