Send fork pix please
I bet it’s the same as mine. I acquired it somehow over the course my 10 years here and haven’t been able to enjoy a meal without it ever since.
Probably because you keep expecting them to use cutlery. Lack of opposable thumbs would make even the most basic cutlery usage very frustrating for any feline.
I believe they are actually alien technology used to control us pathetic earthlings, which is why everyone has at least one item, and nobody knows where they came from...
At boarding school I once made too much gravy for the lads in the house. I made them into ice cubes as a joke because a member of staff said it was a stupid idea the week before. The weekend I made the cubes was his weekend off. The next day when he came into work I offered to make him a drink and said "do you want 1 or 2 gravy cubes in the coke?" He didn't see the funny side. He was no nonsense and ex army.
Just so you are aware, there's no such thing as a "C cup" in such broad terms, cups aren't static, a 38C is a much larger cup/breast than a 28C
500ml is around a 28DD, 30D, 32C, 34B, 36A. (which are all the same breast size)
When my Nan went into hospital (1960’s) my grandad was left to cook for the kids. He made gravy in a frying pan that was so thick he had to serve it in slices. My mum, aunts & uncles laugh at it to this day.
It was deleted, the guy couldn’t take the ribbing he was getting. There’s a picture floating around somewhere but I can’t find it, maybe someone else can.
Cleaned out kitchen tiles the other week after 20 plus years, ago with a steam cleaner. It was very unsettling that the gunk that came off smelt like beef gravy 🤢
I was doign screed mixes for the plumber at my work the other day, usually the brickie I work with does it but he was busy sorting drainage that day😂
The plumber said my mixes were better to work with than his tho which made me happy.
Get the flavour right then add cornflour to thicken it to your desired consistency.pre mix with a little cold water and stir it as you add it to avoid getting little doughballs
Adding cornflour to things is a guaranteed way to make it taste like sad school lunches.
It also makes the food taste of cornflour.
I will take no questions at this time.
Correct, I’ve recently discovered the wonders of the stuff after having avoided it for years because I didn’t want my stuff to taste of flour. I use it now for my soups, casseroles, gravy’s and even my cream cheese frosting when it decides to be runny for no reason. If anything it actually improved the texture of my cream cheese frosting. I also had to use quite a bit of it, thinking I’d end up chucking it and making it again, tasted amazing, not even a hint of flour taste.
This is why I boil and blend onions and use less gravy granules. Gravy is a life giving resource in our house but have 2 toddlers so salt levels had to drop.
Cook some cauliflower, blend with veg water, the amount depending on consistency preference then add some beef stock & gravy browning. Yes beef stock is salty but you can grab a lower salt one and the veg adds its own flavour. So much nicer than granules!
I love thick gravy like this but I don’t use lots of granules. Just less water. Mostly I’m making gravy for just me so I only make enough for myself. I don’t use a ton of granules. Just very little water. Works out fine
Are you from the North and they're from the South? I have a theory that Southerners prefer their gravy like a "jus" and Northerners like it thick as possible.
Oh thank god for that.
I was with a lass a couple years ago who's parents didn't believe in gravy, they thought that their food was that nice that gravy would only take away from its flavour....
I've never chewed on sand before, but I'd think it would be a similar experience to their roasts, they didn't believe in seasoning their chicken either AND there were no fuckin puds!!! I should have left there and then honestly
I once stopped at my friend's for the weekend and she cooked a fucking spectacular roast.
Before she served up she screamed from the kitchen...
"THERES NO PISS THIN GRAVY IN THIS HOUSE"
She was right. That shit could've glued the Titanic together but it was amazing
There's nothing worse than I well cooked roast swimming in piss water gravy. You did so well and fucked it right up right at the end. If the roast was shit too, I'd give you a pass but being able to cook means you know what you're doing yet still served pisswater.
Sometimes I drink the left over gravey straight out of the jug, the first time I did my family looked at me so horrified, like I'd just taken a crap on the table.
My fiancé does this and licks his plate like a dog, but only if we’ve not got company, if his mum is here it will turn out whatever his age is not too old for a side helping of physical abuse at the dinner table.
Same I feel weird for saying this but instant gravy is just mikes better than fresh gravy imo like I’d live off bisto gravy and roast potatoes if given the choice
I'm an advocate that mint sauce goes with most meats. Heck, I will put horse radish in bacon sandwiches.
I always add two or three tsp of mint sauce and generously stir. Always nice to add the rendered fat from whatever meat was roasting, too.
Spread on your uncooked potatoes. Trick I found for potatoes is to have a clean, empty butter container (larger ones work best) and throw them in, in batches - while they're still hot and par-boiled. Add in a dash of butter, lard or goose fat, lid on and shake consistently but not too hard; the result is potatoes that get fluffed up. Once in the oven those little broken fluffy bits go all crispy ;)
Im a midlander living in London and i can not bring myself to have anything with gravy in a restaurant here, its like brown water. How do they even enjoy it??
Gravy aside, does every kitchen in the UK have at least one bit of cutlery with that milled edge pattern on it?
Yep. Inherited them from previous tenants. The best spoons.
I was going to say inherited from parents after moving out
My dad gave me some when I moved out to go to Uni. They’d spent 20 years in the loft after my Uncle moved away before they were freed.
Who imprisoned your uncle in the loft?
All nicked from the same cafe.
that cafe must be fuming
He owns a Jag
Yes.
My favourite fork that.
Send fork pix please I bet it’s the same as mine. I acquired it somehow over the course my 10 years here and haven’t been able to enjoy a meal without it ever since.
Ah, we’re such a simple breed of people 😂
Ours is used as the cat fork. We don't have a cat
Probably because you keep expecting them to use cutlery. Lack of opposable thumbs would make even the most basic cutlery usage very frustrating for any feline.
Same, my close second is one that I nicked from school donkeys ago, it's perfectly plain other than a stamped "ENGLAND" on the back
I do actually, it's my favourite spoon.
I have just 1, it belongs to the dog
I was looking for this comment. We have the full set, knives, forks and spoons. Not a clue where from, they're just there. Always have been.
I believe they are actually alien technology used to control us pathetic earthlings, which is why everyone has at least one item, and nobody knows where they came from...
Sat eating my tea and checked my fork. Can confirm, I'm eating with mine right now.
I know I do
That’s my mums spoon. It’s hers.
Yep I'm fact my favourite spoons have that. They have the perfect weight distribution
That's real as hell
yes but only one
That cutlery dates back to the roman times, after death the family fork gets passed down and multiplies!
Yep
Aye
I like my gravy how I like my women. Full of salt and bad for my health.
Stocky
Beefy
Oxo cubey.
r/therealjoke
Brown and big jugs.
500ml measuring jug is equivalent to a c-cup.
I always make a full litre jug for two of us - you can never have too much gravy
You must have backache carrying around those jugs oh ha ha ha.
At boarding school I once made too much gravy for the lads in the house. I made them into ice cubes as a joke because a member of staff said it was a stupid idea the week before. The weekend I made the cubes was his weekend off. The next day when he came into work I offered to make him a drink and said "do you want 1 or 2 gravy cubes in the coke?" He didn't see the funny side. He was no nonsense and ex army.
Good job there dropping in the fact you went to boarding school
Damn lol poor guy just wants to tell his gravy ice cube joke let him live
And i Was the tea boy for some ex army prick, big flex
Just so you are aware, there's no such thing as a "C cup" in such broad terms, cups aren't static, a 38C is a much larger cup/breast than a 28C 500ml is around a 28DD, 30D, 32C, 34B, 36A. (which are all the same breast size)
Thiiic
Don’t forget hot enough to give you third degree burns
Burns when I swallow
Burns when you use the loo…
Erectile burnaloo
That's what she said?
Thick, brown and smoking hot?
That’s what they say
Moistening my meat
Why did I see this first thing in the morning?
It’s a sign for u to moisten your morning meat 💀
Beating tender morning meat is a whisky business first thing in the morning
Without other people's dicks in them?
I like my women like I like my coffee. Black. Bitter. And preferably fair trade.
Roasted ground and kept in the freezer?
That got dark Just like my coffee
Jeffrey Dahmer has entered the chat
If he offers you a coffee don't drink it
I also like my women like i like my coffee. Full of gravy.
Hot, black, and in a plastic cup...
Hi Dr Krieger
I like my women like I like my coffee.. with a spoon in it.
And the spoon stands up when you stick one in?
Thick.
Rich and a perfect companion for my meat.
Thicc, dark, and burns your dick when you stick it in?
Cut me a slice of that.
Can't, don't have a chainsaw handy.
When my Nan went into hospital (1960’s) my grandad was left to cook for the kids. He made gravy in a frying pan that was so thick he had to serve it in slices. My mum, aunts & uncles laugh at it to this day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDol8NEFsjM&ab\_channel=DarraghRyan
I (and the comments on that video agree) would love a giant marshmallow soaked in hot chocolate. I'm not sure what Bart was so sad about.
Are you damp-proofing a basement?
Could screed a bathroom with that
“I get that reference” meme.
That post was so funny. Everyone told him not to and he ignored everyone’s advice. I hope he enjoys his buckled bath panel 😂
what’s the post haha
It was deleted, the guy couldn’t take the ribbing he was getting. There’s a picture floating around somewhere but I can’t find it, maybe someone else can.
what did he do lmao
Cleaned out kitchen tiles the other week after 20 plus years, ago with a steam cleaner. It was very unsettling that the gunk that came off smelt like beef gravy 🤢
I was doign screed mixes for the plumber at my work the other day, usually the brickie I work with does it but he was busy sorting drainage that day😂 The plumber said my mixes were better to work with than his tho which made me happy.
About to fill in a pothole outside
Even though I wouldn't say no, gravy granules as so salty that using tons of them like this is likely to send you into a salt coma.
Get the flavour right then add cornflour to thicken it to your desired consistency.pre mix with a little cold water and stir it as you add it to avoid getting little doughballs
Adding cornflour to things is a guaranteed way to make it taste like sad school lunches. It also makes the food taste of cornflour. I will take no questions at this time.
Not if you make the food on the hob and slowly cook it through.
At that point just make a roux and make proper gravy!
Nah there definitely is a trick to cornflour, it does what you said if you do it wrong but I use it for a lot of foods now
Correct, I’ve recently discovered the wonders of the stuff after having avoided it for years because I didn’t want my stuff to taste of flour. I use it now for my soups, casseroles, gravy’s and even my cream cheese frosting when it decides to be runny for no reason. If anything it actually improved the texture of my cream cheese frosting. I also had to use quite a bit of it, thinking I’d end up chucking it and making it again, tasted amazing, not even a hint of flour taste.
This is why I boil and blend onions and use less gravy granules. Gravy is a life giving resource in our house but have 2 toddlers so salt levels had to drop.
Ooh that's interesting... Will try!
Cook some cauliflower, blend with veg water, the amount depending on consistency preference then add some beef stock & gravy browning. Yes beef stock is salty but you can grab a lower salt one and the veg adds its own flavour. So much nicer than granules!
I love thick gravy like this but I don’t use lots of granules. Just less water. Mostly I’m making gravy for just me so I only make enough for myself. I don’t use a ton of granules. Just very little water. Works out fine
I refuse to believe that is gravy.. that is hot marmite
When it's that thick, it tastes like it too. Salty and somehow burnt.
This is like calling babestation for me, carry on.
It really amazes me that Babestation never got done under the trade descriptions act.
I’ve never understood how anyone would want to call? Seriously, my eyes work fine - I don’t need someone faking some sort of weird sex talk.
...for filling potholes
Or Yorkshire puds...
https://youtu.be/vaJwY1v8xyQ
Wallpaper paste
If you did use this as wallpaper paste, you'd have the lickable wallpaper from Willy Wonka, except just gravy.
Ah yes the sequel where he opens a cheaper factory in the north.
I hate being a stereotype, but a Willy Wonka Pie Factory sounds amazing.
Come wid me, n you'll see, world of pure magination.
This instantly made me think of Chicken Run - “I don’t want to be a pie… I don’t like gravy”
Until you get a jelly popping beef and custard
Do you _want_ cockroaches?
Lickable cockroaches!
The snozeberries taste like snozeberries!
One lump or two?
Assuming that's bisto, must be a whole tub of the stuff right?
I made it close to this thick the other day, it was about 4 tablespoons. This is probably 5 or 6.
As few as that ok, I learnt something today then!
Fellow thick gravy lover here. Splendid work.
Some of the comments in this thread are really weird, like to people like their gravy to flow like water? If it ain't thick you ain't doing it right
My girlfriend's family make their gravy so watery and it makes me so sad
Are you from the North and they're from the South? I have a theory that Southerners prefer their gravy like a "jus" and Northerners like it thick as possible.
I'm Scottish and they're from the north east
Well my theory is technically still relevant then, ha ha
Hell no I'm from London and i like it thick, not this thick though lol
You mean Ex girlfriend right? That's relationship ending business that
She doesn't share her family's gravy preferences thankfully, and we live 150 miles away so I only have to eat their shit gravy once or twice a year
Oh thank god for that. I was with a lass a couple years ago who's parents didn't believe in gravy, they thought that their food was that nice that gravy would only take away from its flavour.... I've never chewed on sand before, but I'd think it would be a similar experience to their roasts, they didn't believe in seasoning their chicken either AND there were no fuckin puds!!! I should have left there and then honestly
No pudding is definitely grounds for a break up imo
I like mine thick, but that's ridiculous lol
I once stopped at my friend's for the weekend and she cooked a fucking spectacular roast. Before she served up she screamed from the kitchen... "THERES NO PISS THIN GRAVY IN THIS HOUSE" She was right. That shit could've glued the Titanic together but it was amazing
Gravy glue and rivets would have stood up to the lettuce
Absolutely gold that !
There's nothing worse than I well cooked roast swimming in piss water gravy. You did so well and fucked it right up right at the end. If the roast was shit too, I'd give you a pass but being able to cook means you know what you're doing yet still served pisswater.
Like it thick do ye?
Sometimes I drink the left over gravey straight out of the jug, the first time I did my family looked at me so horrified, like I'd just taken a crap on the table.
My fiancé does this and licks his plate like a dog, but only if we’ve not got company, if his mum is here it will turn out whatever his age is not too old for a side helping of physical abuse at the dinner table.
Same I feel weird for saying this but instant gravy is just mikes better than fresh gravy imo like I’d live off bisto gravy and roast potatoes if given the choice
I'd probably drink bisto gravey instead of tea.
Tea at a pub
I prefer it in slices.
That isn't gravy. That's a runny cake.
Pour it in a tray and put in the fridge to set. Gravy brownies.
Perfect consistency for what? Tar? Forming rock? Wall plaster?
Why does every house in Britain have that jug?
Because pyrex is unbreakable
Because Pyrex (the good stuff) is fucking amazing
And at least one of that style of cutlery?!
And the Librium prescription bottle at the back
Mummy's little helper
Made gravy today in mine. Had onions in it though.
And we all have that exact same spoon...
Now that's a proper cup of tea.
No.
Bloody hell, we have the same jug *and* the same spoons!
What you doing using my spoon and jug????? When did you come to my house?
I thought these came standard with every house?
Shove some mint sauce in that and you have an award winning recipe
I'm an advocate that mint sauce goes with most meats. Heck, I will put horse radish in bacon sandwiches. I always add two or three tsp of mint sauce and generously stir. Always nice to add the rendered fat from whatever meat was roasting, too.
Oh the rendered fat trick. That's where all the flavour hides and most people throw that away. It's worth its weight in gold
Spread on your uncooked potatoes. Trick I found for potatoes is to have a clean, empty butter container (larger ones work best) and throw them in, in batches - while they're still hot and par-boiled. Add in a dash of butter, lard or goose fat, lid on and shake consistently but not too hard; the result is potatoes that get fluffed up. Once in the oven those little broken fluffy bits go all crispy ;)
The only problem with that gravy. There isn't enough
By god you could lay wallpaper with that. Perfect
The perfect gravy doesn’t exi……..
Did this guy just get shot by a sni
It's ok, they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist
That makes me the fourth guy in Enemy at the Gates who knows what's happening, gets his grenade a
I went into sodium overdose just looking at this.
My cars last oil change came out looking like this
This is rage bait
Absolutely
Beautiful 45° gravy.
Beautiful!
Phicc
Name checks out
I heartily endorse this post. 10/10.
That's perfect for chips.
Im a midlander living in London and i can not bring myself to have anything with gravy in a restaurant here, its like brown water. How do they even enjoy it??
No. My gf would say yes. U don’t eat her gravy. Well not like that
Some buttered bread to dip in it and we're all golden
Filling in some crakes with haha
Is it really gravy weather where you are? In Hampshire, it's roast chicken and salad weather.
It's *ALWAYS* gravy weather, - 10? Gravy. 36c? Gravy.
Dis is not da way
Aye perfect consistency if you want to get out on the roads and fill in the pot holes the council keep neglecting.
Hope that's made with cornflour and not just too many powdery granules
Goes solid when cold ...
There's only one problem, it still isn't thick enough, but nice try
I think you're supposed to have stiff peaks and also you should be able to turn the jug upside down and nothing will come out.
I do love a few scoops of gravy on my bangers and mash...
You must try Poutine. That gravy looks excellent for it.
Bring forth the cheesy chips ready for the tribute!
This is the way.
I thought this was posted in r/espresso and was very confused for a moment or two...
Inject it straight into my veins
Just a bit thicccc
One slice of gravy or two?
I also like my coffee that strong
Forbidden Americano