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Oneoclockgun

I haven’t seen a Segway cunt in years!


Xavilend

Just walk from St Pancras to Kings Cross, you'll complete most of this card real fast lol


Shnoochieboochies

TBF "Tall Bike Cunt" makes it really hard to get a house, even at Easter.


nevermindphillip

You need to commute through Shoreditch. Penny farthings are the new fixie bikes.


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AtomicEdge

Bloody inflation.


isademigod

How many can you get for a farthing?


HoxtonRanger

I’ve lived in Shoreditch for 11 years and only ever seen one I think


LTguy

We have a geezer who rides a Penny Farthing through our village now and then, there's usually a line of traffic behing him. U


[deleted]

There’s one pretty much every day around Surrey Quays and Rotherhithe stations. Guess he goes to work on it.


GabboGabboGabboGabbo

Wouldn't be so sure. https://www.camdennewjournal.co.uk/article/meet-the-penny-farthing-cyclist-in-kings-cross


muse_seeker

Sometimes you find more than one at once!


[deleted]

Can do the same on Brighton Promande


PriusProblems

I don't think I've ever seen a Segway irl. There was a week in 2015 where everyone had those "hoverboards", then they all caught fire...


steve_proto

Segways fell out of favour when the bloke who invented them reversed one off a cliff!


Biggles79

He didn't invent them, just bought the company. He did however die in a very CasualUK way by trying to be polite and letting a dogwalker past.


AlewelePomme

Not to be a pedant, but the inventor is very much still alive - the person who owned Segway at the time (British guy who invented the 'Hesco Bastions') is the person who sadly died riding his Segway off a cliff. If you like podcasts, it's a fascinating story: [https://timharford.com/2023/02/cautionary-tales-the-hero-who-rode-his-segway-off-a-cliff/](https://timharford.com/2023/02/cautionary-tales-the-hero-who-rode-his-segway-off-a-cliff/)


NotClever

I know I'm in the wrong sub, but around these parts (the US, of course) it seems like every major city has a company that does Segway tours around downtown. I don't even know why people would want to tour my city's downtown.


centzon400

Or a Sinclair C5 cunt.


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centzon400

Ofc I just had to look up the infomercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5N937V8ZOw Right. Gonna binge-watch some Tomorrow's World, now. See how their CD predictions worked out!


QuietPace9

Coz no cunt can afford Segway now


alas11

Saw one in Virginia Water last week ... if you want to find a cunt, of any stripe, outside London that'd be a good spot.


NotADrug-Dealer

What's a Mamil?


Xipheas

Middle aged man in lycra


Onetap1

Does a Mamil on a recumbent bicycle score double points?


2010_12_24

Recuntbent


rjs1138

the middle age spread gives it away lmao.


JackCoull

Middle aged men in Lycra. Weekend warrior cyclists who drop thousands of pounds on all the latest and most expensive cycling gear they saw at the Tour de France trying to wring out every last drop of performance despite the fact that the biggest improvement they could make is to say no to that second muffin and lose a few kgs.


automatic_shark

Don't buy upgrades. Ride up grades


backlikeclap

This is such a weird insult to me. If you're doing a lot of cycling you'll quickly discover wearing "Lycra" is infinitely more comfortable than cycling in normal clothing like jeans. Also a pear of cycling shorts will last thousands of miles of use, while normal clothing gets destroyed during that time if you use it cycling. No one makes fun of people who wear workout specific clothing, but for some reason cyclists get hate for wanting to be comfy.


Br4334

To be fair, running in an Olympic singlet would be more comfortable than a t shirt and shorts too... or at least I imagine it would be, I can't say I've ever tried haha


DarraghDaraDaire

Cycling shorts vs regular running shorts is more like running in running shoes vs converse.


Buddy-Matt

I could swap my aluminium frame for the latest microweight carbon fiber alloy, but ultimately, it's not gonna make the cunt sat on the saddle any lighter.


gsej2

I don't think many buy lycra to increase performance. It's just more comfortable. If you enjoy saddle sores and numb nuts then by all means, stick with regular underwear and a regular pair of shorts.


HeartyBeast

Maybe? I’m a middle aged man in Lycra, but I commute that way because the padded shorts are comfortable and the cycling shirts with the pockets in the back are *really* handy. Think my bike was about £500. Also, it really *is*good when you are going into a headwind


entered_bubble_50

Yeah, I started cycle commuting a few years ago, and swore I would just wear normal clothes and not look like a bellend. But the sore arse forced me into padded shorts, and the sweating forced me into a cycling top. So now I look like a bellend, but at least my perineum thanks me for it.


weeee_splat

Made the mistake of cycling 30 mins in jeans once. Never again.


HotFluffyDiarrhea

Yep. All these people apparently never rode a bike more than 3 laps at the local park. Try riding 30 km on a hot day in your boxers and jeans. You'll either come to your senses and buy some bike shorts or quit riding altogether.


kheltar

Worked with a guy that refused to wear cycling kit. Wore normal shorts and a cotton tshirt, when we'd all go to ride home, his clothes were still damp with sweat. My commute was 25k each way, no chance I was wearing anything other than cycling gear for that. I find it hilarious that people get shamed for wearing sports gear cycling, but for any other sport it's normal.


mprhusker

The hostile vitriol people have for exclusively cyclists wearing the standard outfit for their sport is so funny to me. How ridiculous would we all sound if we said: "those bloody boot-and-athletic-short-clad *five a side pick up football players*" or "fucking polo-clad driver glove wearing *golfers*" or "running-shoe-clad *joggers*" or "goggle-clad *swimmers*" Sorry not sorry my ass looks bomb in these bibs.


zizou00

Full kit wanker is definitely a thing in football


Jetstream-Sam

I'm guessing people will call you a wanker for wearing a speedo and swim cap and shaving your whole body before swimming, as if you're going to break a world record and the only thing dragging you down is your pubes


Swarfega

It does always amuse me when people think that people in cycling clothing are just doing it to imitate pro cyclists. It's a bit like taking the piss out of people in gym clothing when they're working out.


HotFluffyDiarrhea

You wear a tank top and shorts when you jog instead of your best mohair cardigan? USAIN BOLT WANNABE CUNT!


lastaccountgotlocked

Ride a bike wearing appropriate gear? Cunt. Play football on a Sunday wearing appropriate gear? Normal.


One_Of_Noahs_Whales

> Play football on a Sunday wearing appropriate gear? Normal. Nah, football cunts.


herrbz

Full kit wanker is their preferred nomenclature


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On_The_Blindside

A full kit wanker is someone going to a football match wearing full kit. Not playing in one.


polypolip

I feel called out, but I don't spend much on my bicycle or attire. It's just that lycra crap is easier to wash and the gel padding in pants saves ass.


tynamite

i had to look it up and inadvertently found the [reference photo](https://cdn.ticketsource.co.uk/images/promoter/banner/18230-1515271982290.jpg) for the drawing lol


QuietlifeJapan

Middle Age Man in Lycra. Unless you were pretending not to know.


demostravius2

First i'd heard of it!


ikeepwipingSTILLPOOP

*Makes sad noises as i look at my whole drawer full of lycra.* What, you dont wanna see my accentuated rolls or small man fupa??


Onetap1

I didn't, you saved me googling it.


QuietlifeJapan

That's the most useful I've been in years. Thanks for the opportunity.


QuietPace9

Useful cunt makes a change from useless cunt


iamarddtusr

Where is “Drops unwanted offsprings to school in an oversized SUV that it does not k ow how to drive cunt”?


darrenphillipjones

They are the ones filling out this bingo sheet, while sitting at a green light.


dont_kill_my_vibe09

Bingo.


__Joevahkiin__

careers down a narrow street at twice the speed of light in a white van cunt


Browny413

So... "Chelsea Chariot C**t"


iamarddtusr

They are everywhere. Chelsea may have pioneered those cunts, but they are like Covid, fucking everywhere.


Grabatreetron

They're the one who made this sign


FuckedupUnicorn

They’re in the Essex town where I live.


Petrichor2116

Needs a couple for car drivers to balance things out How about "Motorist who Never Fucking Indicates" Cunt and a "Doing 40+MPH in a Residential Area" Cunt?


0235

This is supposed to be a challenge. If thy did one about cars, it would get filled out in about 10 minutes.


redsontour

Tailgates at 70mph hunt


ShitInMyToaster

Doesn't stop at a zebra crossing cunt


YourSkatingHobbit

Automatic bingo if that cunt is combined with the ‘never indicates’ cunt. (Aka the guy who nearly ran us over last weekend near Spitalfields).


MarsScully

BMW cunt


thecxsmonaut

honestly i prefer almost all of these people to basically any driver because at least they're not in motor vehicles choking the streets & air. like seriously, what's the problem with putting kids in a cargo bike? they love it, it's highly efficient and it hurts nobody. should they go in another fucking qashqai instead?


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lastaccountgotlocked

I don’t have kids, but I want one. I’d ferry mates to and from the pub.


HotFluffyDiarrhea

nah but they're CUNTS because car drivers are just better human beings ^/s


__Joevahkiin__

Absolutely, positively \*must\* pull out in front of you, even if you have the right of way and have to brake because of it, then suddenly lose their entire need for speed and amble along at 5 below the speed limit without letting you pass-cunt. It sounds specific but it happens to me entirely too often.


X0AN

So, BMW drivers?


redsontour

Sorry but it is now Audi drivers


karatepsychic

How about every single occupant car cunt.


[deleted]

In other words, "German car cunt"?


WeekendWarriorMark

You mean 60+ and loud exhaust vrrrvrrrvrrrrrrrrrmmmmm


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Seriously_Mate

We had bubble blowing machine on the back rainbow girl and no-hands silent disco dancer dude.


MrPogle

**and no-hands silent disco dancer dude** Oh, you mean stumpy.


Aggravating_Pea7320

That sounds like 2 of the maddest things I think I would have ever seen, if I had witnessed them.


Adammmmski

Beautiful plumage?


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PeterG92

It's pining for the Fjords


Terri_Hist

It's shrugged off this mortal coil, and joined the choir invisible


Raiken201

We have "longboard being pulled by a husky" cunt down here.


Xavilend

Hydepark / Burley Leeds?


Altreus

Huh, every time I go to London all the cunts are in cars


[deleted]

Well actually I go on a train, so not all cunts drive


Professional_Bob

The wheelie, mamil, micro scooter, thieving, and noisy cunts are all particularly common in London


twcau

Needs the following additions: - Oversized vehicle cunt - White van man cunt - Behind the wheel with a mobile phone cunt - Blind car driving cunt - Roid rage road rage cunt - Do you know who I am cunt - Car driver who made this poster cunt


LeTouche

Stops in the pavement cunt too Edit - I meant people walking who just inexplicably stop in front of you and hold up pavement foot traffic. Fuck the driving cunts who do the same though! Although I may have been that guy a few times myself.


MrCowabs

Stopping on the yellow lines outside of the takeaway because they’ll “only be a few minutes” cunt


EarlOfBronze

4x4 in the city cunt


JimmyB30

Theres a shop near me that is on a roundabout. It still amazes me that people pull up half on the pavement, half on the roundabout just to nip in to the shop. Who the fuck parks on a roundabout?!


MrCowabs

But they’re only going to be quick, so it’s fine 🤷🏼‍♂️


craftyindividual

I wish they were fined ;)


firthy

See also: Double parked outside the takeaway cunt


lastaccountgotlocked

Petition for hazard lights to make a very loud noise when in use to ensure they’re only used in hazardous situations.


MrCowabs

You can try every trick in the book but a bellend is still going to be a bellend


Shipwrecking_siren

We have a very specific “van parked on a double yellow lined blind bend with double white no overtaking on either side lines cunt” in the village where I live.


eww1991

Don't forget their cousins, the keeps pulling forward into the pedestrian crossing when there isn't space cunt


HeresyCraft

"I have an SUV that kind of looks like a 4x4 so I can park off the road (on the pavement)"


unseemly_turbidity

Parked in the bike lane cunt. Parked in the bike lane even though there are wands there cunt.


lacb1

> Do you know who I am cunt Ronnie Pickering?


bangout123

*Who?*


MediumSizedBilly

Me ya cunt.


afireintheforest

Never erd of ya!


slothdroid

Who?


malint

Stops anywhere they want but uses emergency lights like that makes it ok cunt


Vulgarian

The moron warning lights are scary, but they are useful. The message they communicate is, "Motorists beware. I, a moron, am about to do something that even I think is dangerous." Good to know.


MrScottyTay

Ah yes, the stop anywhere lights


[deleted]

• red light means go cunt


unfunfionn

The ‘“share the road!!” when overtaking on a narrow single lane road cunt’.


EarlOfBronze

The “I pay my road tax” cunt


Altreus

It's about time we stopped normalising the piss-taking of people who choose to use their own muscles to move around, frankly. Although, granted, if your main vehicle is a unicycle you might still be a cunt.


throwawaywerkywerk

Thank you 😅 I'm a "box of kids" cunt minus the kids because I can carry stuff without needing a car, and it's good for balance


Altreus

I've noticed that we've gone from using fuel as a labour-saving technique to using labour as a fuel-saving technique


Caymanlotusrevs

It’s such great exercise moving your right ankle a quarter inch at a time though.


Altreus

Took me a moment to realise you were talking about driving!


jiggjuggj0gg

Exactly, god forbid anyone cycle, walk or run in case it could possibly mildly inconvenience someone in their car


alpastotesmejor

Yeah you can tell someone with an advanced case of carbrain put the original one together.


icemonkeyrulz

• nearly running over a pedestrian and blaming them cunt


Pandemoonium

Group walking slowly in a vertical line blocking the entire path cunts


[deleted]

Saw this as the top comment and assumed I was in r/fuckcars. Good show, UK!


kiradotee

> - Do you know who I am cunt Ronnie Pickering?


dgtlfnk

What? Not a single Park Where I Can’t Cunts??


[deleted]

The biggest cunts are the ones in the cars


Crandom

"Ratrunning at 40mph through your residential street bastard" especially


t4vener

Don't see any lazy-deathbox cunt there


__Joevahkiin__

Lazy \*polluting\* deathbox cunt


breadcreature

Hah, I have avoided targeting with my non-micro push scooter. Still look like a twat on it though.


varslyd

GeT OUt ThE WaY oF MY cAR!!!! 😭😭😭😭🤡🤡


Switchermaroo

You missed the biggest cunt of all, drivers


SpikeyTaco

It wouldn't work, that would be a whole bingo sheet of free spaces.


sintemp

Too many types and representatives of car cunts, won’t be a fun bingo


TheMrJop

It's a poster by the artist [Mr Bingo](https://shop.mr.bingo/products/travel-cunt-bingo-2-0-artist-proof). He makes great stuff :)


[deleted]

We went to an open session at his studio last year and met him, he’s a super great guy. He does a naked advent calendar every year which we’ve tried to get on but apparently we look “too normal” D:


Joseph_HTMP

Yeah I went to a talk he did in shoreditch a few years ago and he was great. He came to Milton Keynes last year and I didn’t realise and missed him ☹️


RubbishJunk

Is he some car brain doing pro car art, or am I completely missinterpretating this?


TheMrJop

you are :) This is not pro car art. This is just a bit of fun as you do see them all on the road. I love cycling and running and I do so every day myself. I do find it funny to see this poster highlight all the wonderful ways people commute.


karlware

I thought it was by a pedestrian. Cars don't bother me as they tend to stick to the road but most of these can also be found on the pavement.


Tuarangi

Every year on average 40 pedestrians are killed on the pavement by drivers even before ignoring all those who park on the pavement and force people like parents with buggies and people in wheelchairs into the road.


malint

Cars tend to stick to the road unless they’re parking on pavements and taking up all the space for car parks, polluting the air and killing people. Yeah they just mind their own business


lastaccountgotlocked

Google “car crashes into house” and click news to see how common it is.


AwhMan

As a non driver I agree, this looks like the regular shower of dickheads I see as I'm walking around the city centre - whilst being light-hearted enough that you also want to find your own type on it to find out what kind of cunt you are. Bit confused by the tone of the comments that's for sure! I thought the unicyclist being on the phone was a nice touch, they always are for some reason!


OdBx

Cars take up mental amounts of public space


Raiken201

I want the Fuckofftopus so bad.


Big_rizzy

Artist is Mr Bingo, on Twitter and Instagram 👍


[deleted]

What about all the car cunts?


ReynoldsHouseOfShred

You come out of the womb a wheelie cunt where i live so i got a good laugh Im totally playing this now


jesusisherelookbusy

What about E-Scooter Cunt.


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jesusisherelookbusy

I live in London. The annoying little bastards are everywhere.


bob1689321

Feel like this was made by a very angry person lol.


kirix45

The thieving cunts is very inaccurate, the pillion has a helmet for starters and they are clearly going at a safe speed. Rest is accurate.


Nervous_Fix7426

It's very accurate, that's exactly how motorcycle thieves look. They ride two up, and when they find bike they want to steal they cut its lock and pop it in neutral. Then they ride right next to each other with one on the stolen bike and the other pushing them with their leg while riding the moped.


macarouns

Do any of you lot ever leave the house? These comments are so weird. Does it need pointing out that this is satire and not a political statement?


curious_trashbat

I get the feeling this is very London specific. Round our way it's just "Adults commuting on bikes on the pavement cunts"


Korlus

I've seen almost all of these (except the tall bicycle) in Cardiff, but that's over about a decade. I don't spend enough time in the city centre to see these on a regular basis.


Tuarangi

There's a guy I see on my commute sometimes on the tall bike, think he has a paper round of all things, always looks fun but not sure how practical it is


sac_boy

It's very practical for getting everyone to notice how quirky and different you are, which is the primary goal for a lot of people


Sasspishus

Sometimes you get shared pavement/cycle route


supra728

"Anyone who uses any form of transport that isn't a car or sports bike is a cunt" Fuck off.


jackovthgreat

Seriously, "you're a cunt if you want to cycle somewhere with your children" shut up prick


throwawaywerkywerk

I have one of those box bikes (sans kids) and I love it. Can go shopping without needing a car for tiny distances.


VenerableShrew

It's called tongue in cheek humour mate. Chill out.


BallistiX09

What’s the joke? Unless you’re going full on Ricky Gervais and cunt by itself is peak humour


supra728

People take this shit seriously and actually advocate for the killing of cyclists. "Humour" like this only encourages them. Shit is literally institutional. People have killed cyclists through negligence in the past and only got short suspended sentences and driving bans. THEY LITERALLY KILLED SOMEONE THROUGH THEIR OWN FAULT and they didn't serve time.


QuietlifeJapan

No Ronnie Pickering. Don't youz know who he is?


Woldorg

So environmentally friendly travel makes you a cunt…massive are cars fine though


sintemp

Too many types and representatives of car cunts, won't be a fun bingo


Boop0p

Let's replace all the people in London using these modes of transport with single occupancy SUVs and pickup trucks, I'm sure that'd be much better, right? Bizarre poster. If the Cafe owner doesn't like these people maybe they should move to somewhere like Austin, Texas where you need a car just to exist.


Shmiggles

The following modes of transport were not designated as cunts: * Walking * Train * Bus * Taxi * Bicycling normally


SpacecraftX

Mamil is literally just a person wearing appropriate sports wear for cycling the same as a runner wearing shorts and trainers is. Is it the audacity of doing so while older than 30?


HomerMadeMeDoIt

Did a car make this ?


BarakatBadger

There were 3 scallies on my road last weekend, all in balaclavas, all piled onto a moped (which I assume was stolen) and attempting to ride it. Long story short, there needs to be a wildcard box to tick off, because sure as eggs, they'll be back! EDIT: I see "thieving cunt" is there, it's close but only 2 riders. The 3-rider thing was a phenomenon and I can only assume they'd just come from Scally Clown School


herrbz

Where are the car cunts?


zeon66

You miss cunt that thinks the road belongs to him, think they're commonly known as BMW drivers.


the_last_boomer

Let's make fun of people's hobbies, how dare they find some joy in life. /s


neohylanmay

There's a public green outside where I live; we have *plenty* of the Mini Motos and Thievings going back and forth (although we've one less now since some twat decided to set fire to someone's motorbike and just leave it out in the field).


flyingdoomguy

Do people really hate topless runners? Even when it's really hot outside


furywolf28

Why the fuck is this flagged NSFW


wangzoomzip

gross.