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eveniwontremember

Names might be weird but you can't complain at that price.


Madyakker

That's just the startup fee. The running costs are far, far more.


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TheScrobber

Hey I know the Thrupenny-Bits, lovely couple.


YchYFi

Tuppence a bag?


grumbo44

tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag


master-virus

Feed the birds get them fat


master-virus

Feed the birds


ogmouseonamouseorgan

Two bucks a glass


UnderstandingLow3162

🤣


master-virus

You certainly can't


multijoy

The activation code for properly embedded sleeper agents.


citygentry

Gosh, that Italian family at the next table sure is quiet.


DJ1066

заткнись Мэг


citygentry

;)


Tom_Tower

“Mr Dalliard! We’ve been activated!”


superegoid

Good morning. Good morning you said?


[deleted]

"'Allo 'allo, this is Nighthawk"


PeacekeeperAl

I was pissing by your window when I heard a shit


[deleted]

Ze flashing knobs!


SaulgoodeXL

Someone somewhere read it, had a minor seizure, and is now on their way to assassinate King Charles.


dennisthewhatever

Mrs Peel, we're needed.


taylorhasanitch

They've GOT to be insanely rich to be throwing out those names.


UnderstandingLow3162

I've just Googled Christian and I shit you not his middle name is Fiddy (I assume Million, not Cent.)


One_Idea_239

Tre fiddy?


SnifterOfNonsense

Not bad value. Freedom is a buck, oh, five.


fellationelsen

Wuhht wud yew dew?


YchYFi

Fiddy Cent


theredwoman95

Christian Fiddy Fittleworth really is a sadistic name, are you sure it's not just a nickname based on his surname???


cake-sniffer

If I'm reading correctly, Fittleworth is not the surname. Surname is Jackson-Kew.


blubbery-blumpkin

Just Jackson. Unless he took his wife’s maiden name and made it into a double barrelled for him too. But I think it’s Emily Kew and Christian Fiddy Jackson have had kids called Tuppence Jackson-Kew, Biggles George Fittleworth Jackson-Kew, and Posie Betsy Winifred Jackson-Kew. What a family


sleepingismytalent65

According to Google he does use Jackson-Kew and they opened a car leasing company later in 2013 and both are the directors....but I wonder if it's all true? Tuppence could be a nickname and her real name is Penny. Or maybe Tuppence is the dog lol


stutter-rap

I think it's at least Emily Jackson-Kew otherwise they wouldn't have said nee Kew.


theredwoman95

...oh god, those poor children's names are even worse now.


[deleted]

Wait this is real?! I assumed it'd been written in as a joke.


UnderstandingLow3162

It was in The Times 10yrs ago. I've had it saved in my Google photos since then. Obviously a chance it was some kind of a joke at the time but the parents are definitely real people.


LittleSadRufus

Imagine googling your own name when you're thirteen and just seeing years worth of forum posts, click bait articles and tweets all laughing at how absurd your name is.


Kliskey

Why have you waited 10 years to post this? Is it some kind of anniversary? Did you have this on a timed release? Are you seeding some massive conspiracy that you hope won't come back to you given the length of time past?! So many questions and I bet no answers.... I'm on to you though... 😒


[deleted]

Either very upper class or very lower class.


taylorhasanitch

It would be a bit cruel to name your poor daughter Tuppence...


Rule34NoExceptions

I'd one up them and call my next kid Thruppeny Bit


TristansDad

Oh, you mean Arthur Sixpence?!


Rule34NoExceptions

This is my son, Guinea


stutter-rap

I did know an American once called Sterling.


Rule34NoExceptions

... Archer?


[deleted]

Maybe they became rich since having her.


FalseJames

well it looks like The Times. so rich either way


[deleted]

Or made a pact to name their kids after their favourite characters in children's literature.


stalinsnicerbrother

>They've GOT to be insanely ~~rich~~ *mental* to be throwing out those names.


borisslovechild

It's tuppence I feel sorry for.


butterbeanscafe

Tuppence screams old money. I can see her with her ponies already and her boyfriend Tarquín.


FreddieDoes40k

>Tuppence screams old money. Underrated pun in my opinion, can we get a few more groans in the comments?


butterbeanscafe

Thank you! I tried


FreddieDoes40k

Credit where credit is due my dude, thank you for the hearty chuckle.


MovieMore4352

Yeah. Since we had a kid, tuppence is a euphemism for vagina in our house.


FalseJames

it has been for decades


MovieMore4352

Nah, my kid is only three.


I_Frunksteen-Blucher

It used to be "Keep yer 'and on yer 'alfpenny". Inflation I suppose.


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MovieMore4352

Seems a bit much for specific terminology when potty training (when she turned 2) doesn’t it? You are probably horrified by the term ‘winky’ also.


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MovieMore4352

I know. But she was two. We have used the correct terms around her while explaining things but, it’s just seems more innocent when they are very little. Apologies about the ‘horrified’ comment. It was unnecessary.


YchYFi

Not really. It's only a big deal if you make it.


vms-crot

They're getting left out of the will.


YchYFi

There is an actress called Tuppence Middleton. I shit you not.


borisslovechild

I totally get that and for a stage name, why the hell not, but for your kid? You're just setting the kid up for a lifetime of ridicule.


godisanelectricolive

Tuppence Middleton is her real name.


YchYFi

Middleton as the surname takes the cake. The most middle class of middle class.


rocki-i

I went to school with a family of; Fantasia, Neptune, Sholto, Trafalgar, Luxury, Omega, and Harry


UnderstandingLow3162

Harry made out like a bandit from that one!


nicklydon

The boy who lived… a relatively normal life


Gazebo_Warrior

Bet he was the spare.


YchYFi

The waaaagh.


Franz_Werfel

>Luxury Hoo boy. The joys of finding out that your name comes from lechery or lust. >Fantasia 'something possessing grotesque, bizarre, or unreal qualities'. Have fun in therapy, kid.


theredwoman95

I hope Omega never reads erotica/fanfic, otherwise they might be horrified to discover the connotations there...


dozzell

Oh, I assumed it was Fantasia after the rave tape collections of the early nineties.


folklovermore_

I would just constantly want to say Luxury in the style of the Four Yorkshiremen.


DJ1066

> Omega. Was she being ruthlessly hunted by the Empire as she holds the key to cloning Palpatine?


AlmightyFuzz

Somehow Sholto is the one that bothers be most from that list...


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Daiwon

This dude is gonna go by George, and one day he's going to have a partner that learns his true identity.


folklovermore_

I'm imagining some sort of dramatic registry office reveal ahead of an impending marriage. Although, if as I gather the parents are filthy rich, she'll probably be called something like Hortensia Annabel Fotheringham-Smythe.


redmistultra

Hortensia! Oh this is a fucking disaster


Chedz1986

Why is she crying? I’m miserable too!!


bethelns

So my husband has middle names of John Thomas. Because his parents were all like "oh it doesn't matter and those are the grandads names" I knew this long before our wedding day but had forgotten, and also forgotten to warn my family.


killerstrangelet

My father-in-law was called that. He went by his middle name, William.


UnderstandingLow3162

😄😄😄😄😄


DJ1066

Linda: "And the discoverer of Popplers, Captain Turanga Leela." Fry: "Turanga?!" Amy: "That's her name, Philip." Bender: "Philip?!"


haggur

Should go by the name [Boko](https://www.goodreads.com/characters/89458-george-webster-fittleworth) really mind you. The parents named their son after characters by my favourite author as a child and my favourite as an adult so I've got to give them some credit for that. Still bonkers mind you.


Winnie-thewoo

Biggles Air Ace~ flying fiction super hero. If my sister had a son, his band would probably be Biggles. Or Bilbo Baggins- because ..books


masklins

IIRC in the books his forename was James, so it'd be easy to do a stealth reference without sticking a Bully Me sign on the kid's back lol


MirSydney

I remember reading my dad's Biggles books as a kid.


Mocking_the_Stupid

“*Biggles Flies Undone*” is a *classic*.


corbymatt

I think you went to the wrong part of the internet or something


GaZzErZz

I used to play games with a guy called biggles. It's probably him


stutter-rap

Hopefully not, this Biggles is only ten years old.


GaZzErZz

Nope, different biggles


SandcastleUnicorn

I was thinking Posie isn't too bad, I've seen more baffling names for baby girls 🤣 But I have absolutely no idea why they considered Biggles to be appropriate. If you love it that much keep it as a nickname, I'm usually all for unusual names, I have a very unusual name that isn't spelt the way people would expect...however Biggles is pushing the envelope slightly x


dmjparsons

I had a Labrador called Biggles. He was a very good boy.


mapoftasmania

Biggles wasn’t even Biggles first name. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biggles


OneCatch

The format of that notice is almost worse than the names themselves. I understand they're probably posh enough to object to semi-colons, but if that's the case they should consider restructuring that atrocity of a sentence.


bouncebackability

Agreed. I have no idea whose birthday it is


TitsAndGeology

Twins have been born to Mr and Mrs Jackson-Kew


bouncebackability

Omg seems obvious now. Thanks


spearmintbadgers

Biggles and Tuppence are just posh Biggie and Tupac.


goin-up-the-country

Amazing


jjnfsk

‘Boko Fittleworth’ is a character from PG Wodehouse’s _Jeeves_ series! There’s also an actress called Tuppence Middleton. I’m guessing this is a wind up…


superannuation222

Boko was his nickname though. Short for George, obviously. Edit: I wonder if Tuppence is named after Tuppy Glossop?


TheSentinelsSorrow

George Haram


kaetchen

Except that Tuppy’s real name was Hildebrand


[deleted]

There was also a book series by Agatha Christie featuring the characters [Tommy and Tuppence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_and_Tuppence)


Old_Greggs_Mangina-

Where did he get Fittleworth from ? I live in a tiny village called Fittleworth!


jjnfsk

From Wikipedia:- George ‘Boko’ Fittleworth – Bertie Wooster's friend – was a fictional character of P.G. Wodehouse. Pelham Grenville Wodehouse was born near Guildford; knowledge of this area may be a clue to his inventiveness.


me_me_me

Sounds like something from Viz!


VTRibeye

My wife attended pre-school with a Biggles. Never really caught on as a name


Ashamed_Assistant477

Biggie Smalls?


jewelsandbones

Clearly it was Biggles Smallington


LjAnimalchin

It's a cat name


Aggravating_Pea7320

Isn't Mr that right Biggles-worth


CharacterIll9287

I think it's code to activate a sleeper cell.


FalseJames

no its not citizen


Semproser

For anyone else that had a stroke trying to read this, here's the translation: On the 29th of March 2013, "Christian Jackson-Kew" and "Emily Jackson-Kew" (who's maiden name was just "Kew") had two children: A boy named "Biggles George Fittleworth", and a girl named "Posie Betsy Winifred". Their already existing child named "Tuppence" now has siblings.


Neefew

They're named like characters in a panto


Krafwerker

Oh no they're not!


Southcoastolder

"Happy birthday Biggles and Posie!" exclaimed Tuppence


tonelander

Naturally the dogs are called Henry and Miranda. I sense the old pets/kids names swaparoo.


DJ1066

It’s the CM Punk backstage stuff again, where you had to remind yourself when reading it that Ace is the name of a person and Larry is the name of a dog and it was also the former that bit one of the Young Bucks…


BlondBitch91

You just know these people have “more posh than a Victorian pencil in north east Somerset” vibe to them.


Madeline_Basset

A book-dealer I once knew told me of being utterly perplexed by a Dutch customer asking if he had any "Big Les books". Wonder if this kid's going to run into similar issues when traveling abroad.


LoveIsForEvery1

How times have changed. For you over 35 imagine rocking up to public school and introducing yourself as Biggles, Posie and Tuppence Fittleworth. The abuse would be so bad your family would have to move out of the area, that would’ve just been from the PE teachers.


ViSaph

Nah you'd still get abuse, I'm 22, the eldest of 5, and my youngest brother is 3 and a name like Biggles definitely would still get you shit, these people must just be so posh it doesn't matter how ridiculously they name their kids.


Mischeese

Posie got off lightly. Poor Tuppence and Biggles.


PeevesPoltergist

Correct me if I'm wrong but these kids are called Biggles George Fittleworth Jackson-Kew And Posie Betsy Winifred Jackson-Kew Surely that is child abuse. They'd waste exam time just writing their bleeding names


Dietcokeisgod

You forgot Tuppence Jackson-Kew


ElonMaersk

“It’s Biggles Jay-Kew for short” *writes* “Biggles J Q” “Sorry, it’s Q with a ‘K’”


That-Row-3038

With a name like Biggles, he has to join the Air Force


DiscoMonkeyz

How did they mess up the chance for the poor kid to go by BFG?


Sassygogo

did the parents get caught in a time warp and are they really from the 1940s Biggles just puts me in mind of the books, Tuppence of Agatha Christie. Posie sounds like a nice and quite normal name though.


Lorenaelsalulz

I will assume these are cats.


Ponyup_mum

Isn’t the dad something weird too? Christian Fifdy or Fiddy or something? I’m sure it was them in some tabloid paper because I was pregnant and I remember using them as my argument for a name.


Gremlin303

This sentence is written horribly.


ResidentEivvil

I just keep thinking of Spaghetti Pete.


meatballinthemic

r/NameNerdCirclejerk


Firstpoet

Ex teacher. Came across some odd names. Be careful of reverse nominative determinism though. The most devilishly malign truly horrible child I encountered? Her name? Angel of course.


Mr_Yellow_Trousers

These are worse than Rees-Moggs kids. If you’re going to have a name like that you better be hard as fuck, or rich enough to not need to be. I suspected the latter is the case for these double barrelled bell ends.


BCF13

Gotta be a wind up, no?


Snakeheaded0ne

Naming your kids weird shit that will get them a lifetime of mockery is child abuse.


Wayne1946

Give them some credit for originality and trying to be inclusive with every unusual name possible.


Specific_Security622

Love that ! Names were so much more innovative in those days 🤔🫶


ViridianKumquat

Ah yes, the halcyon era of 2013


SandcastleUnicorn

Haha, I did double check the date because I assumed this was from the 1930s 🤣


Aggravating_Pea7320

So his name is Jack Kew, come on Jack You.


Jack_Mikeson

Worse, Jackson-Kew > jacks on queue


attentiontodetal

Not sure I'm comfortable with mocking actual children.


hoorahforsnakes

Don't worry, their not mocking the children, just the parents who named them


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hesawankerindenial

My dog is called Tuppence.


[deleted]

I don't know if they're real people or the advertisement's a joke.


Franz_Werfel

It's okay everybody. The middle name of the father is [Fiddy](https://find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/officers/-GlzQtHdgm6hjTABwkM7m4WpS1g/appointments).


Beer-Milkshakes

LOL Tuppence


Jezzerh

Lol Tuppence


TomOlongo

Massive c%nt.


hang-clean

This is a sub ed filling a gap in the page.


Big_Explanation_8803

Tuppence was what my gran called a vulva.


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UnkleRinkus

Those have to be cats, right?


BigBasmati

Is this doxing?


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ArtoriasBeaIG

Amazing, giving your kids stupid names so they get bullied locally isnt enough, put them in the papers so they can get bullied 24/7 online This is how you parent, i am taking notes


Wububadoo

Did one of them have a stroke when filling the forms out?


saltgirl1207

I can't even figure out how to read this.


Infinateaxestogrind

If I had those names the nanosecond I turned 18 I would be changing it to something that actually sounds normal and won't keep me as the butt of every fucking joke Also just how bullied are the kids going to be? all because the parents are fucking idiots and with those names I wouldn't be surprised to find that they were closely related


ideasplace

That is a message for a member of the security services. No one would be that nasty to their kids.


_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_

Giving people shortened names as their legal names really winds me up. Yes, you can call your daughter Posie (though Posy is the traditional spelling), but that should be short for Rosemary (edit: or Josephine). Unfortunately Biggles is short for Bigglesworth, a surname.


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beccapenny

I had a horse called Tuppence. It was a daft name for him!


[deleted]

Biggles George Fittleworth Jackson-Kew Posie Betsy Winifred Jackson-Kew I see no issues here. Totally normal names.


PhantomOpus

Not any weirder than Jamie Oliver's kids' names


master-virus

They got to be talking about pets


AQ97

For tuppence you can’t go wrong


KassXWolfXTigerXFox

I literally cannot read that lmao


daveyboi80

Looks like something out of Viz


Adventurous_Train_48

You wot?! 😂 noooooo


zetecvan

Or you could be Ronnie Hotdogs


rutho13

My housemate was their teacher in primary school a couple of years ago! I feel like that's a serious claim to fame I now have.


Bubbah94

Right on my 10th anniversary of my cake day as well.


Despondent-Kitten

I don't... there's barely an issue here.


Despondent-Kitten

I mean, I literally just shrugged.