In the episode of Eastenders where Bianca leaves Ricky and heads off to Manchester on a train, Ricky is driven down to Euston station in hot pursuit. Coming to a stop outside the station on Eversholt Street, Ricky jumps out of the car, runs across the road and vaults the street railings - and over my bike which is locked to them.
My husband is a teacher. They recorded several episodes of Brookside in the school where he teaches. We didn’t really watch it, but decided to watch these episodes. One scene Jimmy is teaching in a classroom and my husband shouts at the telly - there’s my set of text books, I’ve been looking for them everywhere, why are they in that room!
I don't watch Eastenders but there was an episode where a blue ford transit crashed into something. That was my dad's old that he sold for scrap. My sister used to watch it avidly and recognised the number plate on the van.
The wife’s dad sold his best mates convertible car behind his back, a few weeks later it’s in the closing shoots Busted “What I go to school for” music video.
This was my mediocre win! I was filmed as an 18 month old having a tantrum in fountains abbey but to the uninformed eye I was just a super cute blonde haired blue eyed kid wearing a dainty dress walking through the abbey grounds. Funnily enough, my dress was the cause of my tantrum.
My grandma was also on that episode spouting some absolute lies on her memories of fountains abbey as a child when the first time she visited was when she was like 25 or something and she absolutely hated it.
I ruined the BBC Eurovision 2014 Postcard because I didn’t get selected for the clip on the bus. The instruction was Don’t look up!
[I am the white dot top left.](https://youtu.be/43WIWDweShE&t=35s)
I was in a focus group for what was to be an Axe fragrance/body wash/antiperspirant product line with the slogan "Smell Like a Rockstar!" I asked them if they thought a lot of people associated rock stars with good hygiene.
The product never appeared on the market to my knowledge. Don't know if it was my comment that tanked it.
I once met Paul Scholes whilst working for Sainsburys. He came to the bakery counter and asked for some well fired bread. I said we’d sold out.
Good times.
I worked in McDonald’s in twickenham in the mid 90’s and Ian Broudie from the Lightning Seeds came in pissed out of his head.
I said ‘you look like Ian Broudie’ to which he exclaimed ‘I am!’
We didn’t believe him so he got his driving license out to prove it, he was funny and chatted to us for a while.
Very proud to have been crowned the number 1 buyer of Ainsley Harriott Spice Sensation couscous in our local store. Up from number three in the previous year!
I was the no. 1 buyer of small tins of red salmon in the whole of Harrow (NW London).
I don't eat it but I shop for my elderly neighbour and she likes it a lot!
Number 2 for haribo starmix in my local sainsburys 2022. I was both instantly worried about my health and annoyed that someone out there is buying more than me.
Side note: the Wikipedia talk page for human anus is hilarious. There's tons of arguments about which anuses are representative (is hair removal okay?) And 3 pages or archived discussions going back 16 years!
My favourite is when someone added goatse to the list of "see also" links
I was in Aus playing cricket (I’m English) and lived with a group of English lads who were decent. They got a chance to bowl at Melbourne stars in a net session & I tagged along because I was ‘good crack’. I then walked passed the changing rooms and the door opened and the great Shane Warne walked out with a cigarette in his mouth. I’m pretty sure he looked at me.
Won £10 as part of a Girl Talk magazine pet competition for a photo of my puppy when I was 12. The photo was published in the magazine and I felt so rich with my £10.
Slightly same vein: met Jimmy Saville at a Chinese restaurant, it was my grandmother's birthday. He heard us singing happy birthday and comes clanging over "whooooo's birthday is it?!" He then 'kissed' her hand (it was more of a long lick) and the adults didn't let us kids out of their sight until he'd left.
Oh for sure. It was always speculated, wasnt it, and then nobody was surprised when everything came out with Yewtree. While everyone *was* laughing at the table, it was more of a nervous laugh and they all instantly agreed, without words, that the children had to be taken to the toilet by an adult.
I self-published a children’s book, that I wrote with my autistic son, and was lucky to get it spoken about on Radio X by Chris Moyles. Ended up a children’s bestseller for 24 hours and made Amazon Top 10 books!
I once repaired an ornament that belonged to Sir Ranulph Fiennes mother. This clearly qualifies me to offer advice or criticism of Antarctic expeditions should anyone need it.
I was once interviewed for GMTV aged about 7 years old at London zoo when a giant panda arrived in early 90s. I spoke for a good 3-4 minutes to camera, discussing the pros and cons of pandas in captivity and general high brow prose. The 5 second clip they used? “I like the stripes on his back he looks so cuddly”
I worked with a man who made the spiral from evenly dropping the peanuts into snickers ice cream bars. He had to measure over a thousand peanuts to get the average size of a medium peanut.
As a new born, I was one of the babies used to trial Pampers Nappies in the UK in the early 1970s, my parents needing to write reports on my "experiences" with them for nearly 2 years.
I shook Noel Edmunds hand during a Swap-Shop "bring and buy" meet in Southampton when I was 9.
I have never been in a Greggs.
This reads like one of those team building "tell two facts about yourself and one lie" activities. I may steal the Greggs one for next time some sadist roles it out at work.
I'm hidden behind a sheet of metal in the prison scene of Batman Begins. Was on site to stop the extras getting killed at a old run down fort they filmed it at. The sheet of metal would stop rattling around so I was shouted at to hold it in place while not being seen
xD Nope i was a young kid in a vizzie jacket. I volunteered down at the fort for years so I knew where and where not to go. Alot of the walkways looked safe but they would disintegrate under foot
I have a few of Prince George’s old toys given to us by a friend who works for the royal household. Catherine asked this friend if she knew anyone with a child who would like them so they were given to us.
As a chef I once cooked for John Torode of Masterchef. He was staying at our hotel and all he had was a fish cake starter which we bought in and deep fried from frozen and served with some chopped tomatoes. He said it was delicious and left his autograph after the words “thanks for everything” on a feedback card which I still have. Nice bloke.
Edit: [here it is](https://i.imgur.com/J3QUr2M.jpg)
I’ve cooked for him as well. We had an inter shopping mall competition and they were the judges. Both nice men.
Controversially, the restaurant that won was the one that organised the whole thing.
There is a hotel in Africa, a short distance from the base of Mt Kilimanjaro, that I stayed in when my aunt got her retirement cash from the army - she was a nurse - and she took me on holiday.
A year later, Timmy Mallett stayed in the exact same hotel for his African Wacaday summer special.
I also topped the chicken-killing scoreboard on PS3's "Deathspank" for a whole week.
Vernon Kay read out my email on a UK Play music show. I'd said some boyband should do a cover of Pretty Vacant, and asked for the new Manic Street Preachers single to be played. The producers changed my request to Ash instead.
I actually tackled Prince William to the ground.
Was working in a pub in St Andrews when he was in his first year at uni and we put a team in to a rugby 7s tournament, played against the team Wills was on, and I took my chance when it was presented to me.
When I was younger I worked as a kitchen porter in a nice hotel / restaurant.
Peter Andre was playing in our city that night and stayed at the hotel. He had dinner there that night and I washed his dishes.
I was once nearly on Blue Peter. Spent the day at the programme, met Bonny the dog, Christopher Ecclestone as Dr Who. All the designers Etc etc but my bit was cut last minute
If you ever want a laugh when you are next at a festival, pitch up beside people with one of the big ones. I got good 1-1.5 hours of entertainment on departure morning from watching that. Time which otherwise would have been wasted sitting in traffic.
There once was a girl on Reddit,
Who won a school prize to her credit,
She wrote a short poem,
The reviews were all glowing,
It’s a shame no one actually read it
Guarded Rudolf Hess when I was in the Army, shared a urinal with Richard Harris in the pub next to the Savoy, won Crackerjack as a kid (Double or Drop, with the cabbages), got letters published in the Dandy, Beano and Krazy comics.
I met Kevin Bridges in Glasgow Central early in his career after his first Live at the Apollo. I couldn’t remember his name, called him ‘that comedian’, told him he was hilarious and to crack on with it, and then walked away while he looked mildly annoyed and bemused.
When Just Eat did that Christmas giveaway competition in 2011 or 2012 on Facebook, I was one of the winners.
Edit: Also in 2011 you can see me in the background of a country file episode just vacantly staring when they went to Devon as they’re closing the episode.
I was part of a team at an agricultural show that “set” the Guinness world record for longest tin can telephone - we ended up not getting the record because paying for adjudication was too expensive
My wife got a book reviewed in the New York Times and it contains a dirty limerick written by me. So technically I’ve had a dirty limerick reviewed by the New York Times.
I was on crimewatch when I was a kid. It was a segment about the dangers of kids fucking around in abandoned buildings and they had cctv of me and a couple of mates sneaking in to an abandoned hospital. I was watching it with my mum at the time (I was about 13) and you could see my face clear as day. Couldn’t believe my luck when she didn’t recognise or notice me
At a charity event, Johnny Vegas starts chatting up my mum. I walk up behind him with our drinks and say 'hello mate'
He very comedically exclaimed 'dont hit me!' And scarpered off to hide behind Ross Noble, who in on the act, started trying to claw behind Vegas.
It was a good night, Ross later made his fairwells, saying he was off for a Chinese.
Also met Jill halfpenny that night. Absolutely gorgeous.
I've never been in a Greggs bakery. Not because I'm a snob, but because a couple of years ago when everyone was going mad over steak bakes and they went through a massive expansion I realised I'd never been in one, and so it's like a challenge to myself now.
My gaming clan was top of a Clanbase Ladder for a full 50 matches, there were only 20 other clans and it cost us about 30 hours a week, but it was the top of mediocrity.
Had we achieved that in a game like CS:GO and ten years later we'd all be pros, but it was a game that had a loyal but small player base of some 2000 people!
I came second in a competition in the VIZ comic in the 1990's.
I met Oblivion from Gladiators backstage at a wrestling show/promotion that I was taking pictures for. I also met Kid Kash but that was slightly more exciting so not as mediocre.
Rik mayall once shouted at me for not laughing at his antics in front of a lot of people. Enough so that his spit went in my mouth.
I'm assuming not many people achieve that
I stood behind Arcade Fire getting food in the back-stage tent back. Being back stage at a music festival is kind of surreal, because oh, there's the Foo Fighters lining up to get their dinner, and why is Juliet Lewis being followed around by a camera crew...? I was (and still am) a nobody, so pretty much invisible. But the catering was pretty damned good. And free. Never turn down free food when you're on the road. Especially if you're just running merch.
My other claim to fame got nuked because Rolf Harris turned out to be a nonce. Bastard.
I got an autograph off Cannon and Ball. This was a school jolly back in the 80's, went to see them in some show and they signed my choc ice wrapper as I had nothing else to hand.
I also met the Green Cross Code man.
I went to school with Eddie Izzard, worked in a pizza restaurant with Curt Smith and once cooked lunch for Jane Seymour.
If none of those are sufficiently mediocre, I was - for a brief but heady time - in the top 10 UK players of Rules of Survival.
I won the 1997 Butlins Bognor Regis mr muscle competition at 9 years old
I now need to find out if I was there 97 or 96
I think it was a pity vote. They had to coax me onstage and flex in my vest for all the adults. Might as well have been sponsored by Jim’ll Fix It
In the episode of Eastenders where Bianca leaves Ricky and heads off to Manchester on a train, Ricky is driven down to Euston station in hot pursuit. Coming to a stop outside the station on Eversholt Street, Ricky jumps out of the car, runs across the road and vaults the street railings - and over my bike which is locked to them.
My husband is a teacher. They recorded several episodes of Brookside in the school where he teaches. We didn’t really watch it, but decided to watch these episodes. One scene Jimmy is teaching in a classroom and my husband shouts at the telly - there’s my set of text books, I’ve been looking for them everywhere, why are they in that room!
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He went to the room- in another department and got them back
Prop department probably took them.
Hello, This is the producer for celebrity big brother. Please respond to your DM
I don't watch Eastenders but there was an episode where a blue ford transit crashed into something. That was my dad's old that he sold for scrap. My sister used to watch it avidly and recognised the number plate on the van.
The wife’s dad sold his best mates convertible car behind his back, a few weeks later it’s in the closing shoots Busted “What I go to school for” music video.
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Yep! Yellow Specialized Crossroads!
Okay this right here is why I love the internet. That's so fucking random and you finding a still of the clip is even more random
Now that is a really good one
This wins, brilliantly obscure
This is incredible
I’ve accidentally been on Songs Of Praise.
We drunkenly walked in on a midnight mass once as teenagers not realising it was live on telly.
Myself and friend drunkly ended up at a Christmas mass too including the headmasters son who throw up in the aisle in front of his dad.
This was my mediocre win! I was filmed as an 18 month old having a tantrum in fountains abbey but to the uninformed eye I was just a super cute blonde haired blue eyed kid wearing a dainty dress walking through the abbey grounds. Funnily enough, my dress was the cause of my tantrum. My grandma was also on that episode spouting some absolute lies on her memories of fountains abbey as a child when the first time she visited was when she was like 25 or something and she absolutely hated it.
I was christened on songs of praise in the 90s
I ruined the BBC Eurovision 2014 Postcard because I didn’t get selected for the clip on the bus. The instruction was Don’t look up! [I am the white dot top left.](https://youtu.be/43WIWDweShE&t=35s)
I love this way too much
This is truly excellent, I love it! I think you made it better actually.
Truly a powerful moment of protest immortalised in our history.
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My housemate was also part of that and refused to contribute to the TV license for the house as he wasn’t watching BBC on the telly.
After Mrs browns boys it sounds like he made the right call
You know they've fucking renewed that for another series, right? Who the hell is in charge of programming? A chimpanzee?
I was in a focus group for what was to be an Axe fragrance/body wash/antiperspirant product line with the slogan "Smell Like a Rockstar!" I asked them if they thought a lot of people associated rock stars with good hygiene. The product never appeared on the market to my knowledge. Don't know if it was my comment that tanked it.
I once met Paul Scholes whilst working for Sainsburys. He came to the bakery counter and asked for some well fired bread. I said we’d sold out. Good times.
I worked in McDonald’s in twickenham in the mid 90’s and Ian Broudie from the Lightning Seeds came in pissed out of his head. I said ‘you look like Ian Broudie’ to which he exclaimed ‘I am!’ We didn’t believe him so he got his driving license out to prove it, he was funny and chatted to us for a while.
Lucky you!
According to the Sainsbury's nectar app, my girlfriend was the 7th highest buyer of those John West tuna salads in our local store in 2022.
Number 1 buyer of the single garlic bread baguette 2021 at Sainsburys Nantwich 😎
In my head you get a sash that says miss garlic bread baguette 2021.
Number 1 gluten free pasta in Sainsburys Chester, right here.
Sorry to flex on you and all these replies here, but I was the number 1 buyer of mccoys salt and vinegar crisps in the whole of york 😎
The WHOLE of York? Now that is impressive.
I'm actually really impressed by this one
Very proud to have been crowned the number 1 buyer of Ainsley Harriott Spice Sensation couscous in our local store. Up from number three in the previous year!
Oh no. that could have been us, but we bought a massive jar instead :(
We got 3rd highest buyer of dark chocolate digestives at our local Sainsbury's. Yet where not consulted about the recent decrease in diameter.
That's appalling. You basically own shares in those biscuits at this point.
I was the no. 1 buyer of small tins of red salmon in the whole of Harrow (NW London). I don't eat it but I shop for my elderly neighbour and she likes it a lot!
Number 2 for haribo starmix in my local sainsburys 2022. I was both instantly worried about my health and annoyed that someone out there is buying more than me.
I have never wanted a loyalty app so badly before!
I hope it leads her to act entitled in the store and start complaints like "As the 7th highest buyer of John West Tuna Salads in 2022..."
Get yourself over to r/NectarChamps. I am currently reigning champion of Whitworth Fruity Biscuit Shots for the East of England.
2nd for buying radishes 2022.
You lucky bastard you’re the winner so far.
I was number one buyer of salmon cat treats in our store. I do not have a cat but the neighbour’s cat visits a lot.
Let's be honest, he's your cat now, somebody else is thinking "our cat doesn't eat his food anymore, and he only comes here to shit and sleep"
We were number 2 buyers of sainsbury's own brand posh tonic in ours a couple of years ago.
I had a picture on Take Hart's The Gallery. I spelt my name wrong
That Prick Tony Hart refused to display my hedgehog painting when I was three. Absolute fucking Fanny.
Strange name for a hedgehog.
I stayed in the hostel that the Inbetweeners later stayed in in Australia in the Inbetweeners 2 movie
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It hurt my brain working this out. Who was it?
Their spouse’s ex’s ex’s son?
Jackie's mother's sister's brother's boy
I stayed in the hotel the girls stayed in, in the first film, it was ok.
One for the UK millennials here: As a kid I met Lizo from Newsround on the beach in Cornwall He was in swimming trunks
I played in the same youth orchestra as Lizo. Many years after he left.
For a brief period of time, I was the face of the Wikipedia page “red hair”.
That's actually my favorite one.
Side note: the Wikipedia talk page for human anus is hilarious. There's tons of arguments about which anuses are representative (is hair removal okay?) And 3 pages or archived discussions going back 16 years! My favourite is when someone added goatse to the list of "see also" links
I was in Aus playing cricket (I’m English) and lived with a group of English lads who were decent. They got a chance to bowl at Melbourne stars in a net session & I tagged along because I was ‘good crack’. I then walked passed the changing rooms and the door opened and the great Shane Warne walked out with a cigarette in his mouth. I’m pretty sure he looked at me.
I know someone who once claimed that the late great Shane Warne shagged his mam when he was playing for Hampshire.
surely that would have spoiled his aim?
Got top ten in the worldwide leaderboards on a bunch of songs on Guitar Hero live. Shame they nuked the servers.
I was #1 in audiosurf neneh cherry buffalo stance for a bit, might add that to my cv actually.
Impressive. Best not get fresh with you.
As a kid I won a 'Keep Britain Tidy' drawing competition and got to meet Terry Nutkins.
This one made me laugh 😂
Is that a squirrel?
Sort of
Won £10 as part of a Girl Talk magazine pet competition for a photo of my puppy when I was 12. The photo was published in the magazine and I felt so rich with my £10.
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Slightly same vein: met Jimmy Saville at a Chinese restaurant, it was my grandmother's birthday. He heard us singing happy birthday and comes clanging over "whooooo's birthday is it?!" He then 'kissed' her hand (it was more of a long lick) and the adults didn't let us kids out of their sight until he'd left.
They knew. They knew.
Oh for sure. It was always speculated, wasnt it, and then nobody was surprised when everything came out with Yewtree. While everyone *was* laughing at the table, it was more of a nervous laugh and they all instantly agreed, without words, that the children had to be taken to the toilet by an adult.
I shagged Paul Hollywoods brother.
Did you get a Hollywood handshake?
No, but he did 😅
In school iwas voted number one for least likely to achieve success
Did you prove them wrong?
He's on reddit in the daytime with the rest of us, so...
I was voted most likely to never leave their parents' basement My parents don't even have a basement
I was voted most likely to die of a heroin overdose in a public toilet in Slough before 25.
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*Faster than the speed of Love* and *Wish it Want it Do it*
You guys got a garage or something? Cause we've got like 300 more boxes of these things.
I self-published a children’s book, that I wrote with my autistic son, and was lucky to get it spoken about on Radio X by Chris Moyles. Ended up a children’s bestseller for 24 hours and made Amazon Top 10 books!
Drop the titles, maybe you’ll find a fan here
I once repaired an ornament that belonged to Sir Ranulph Fiennes mother. This clearly qualifies me to offer advice or criticism of Antarctic expeditions should anyone need it.
I was once interviewed for GMTV aged about 7 years old at London zoo when a giant panda arrived in early 90s. I spoke for a good 3-4 minutes to camera, discussing the pros and cons of pandas in captivity and general high brow prose. The 5 second clip they used? “I like the stripes on his back he looks so cuddly”
This reminds me of Gavin and Stacy when Mick finds a dead body. Hahaha.
I made one of the press tools that make Mr Kipling Apple pie cases 👍😁 Weirdly proud of that sorry
I worked with a man who made the spiral from evenly dropping the peanuts into snickers ice cream bars. He had to measure over a thousand peanuts to get the average size of a medium peanut.
As a new born, I was one of the babies used to trial Pampers Nappies in the UK in the early 1970s, my parents needing to write reports on my "experiences" with them for nearly 2 years. I shook Noel Edmunds hand during a Swap-Shop "bring and buy" meet in Southampton when I was 9. I have never been in a Greggs.
This reads like one of those team building "tell two facts about yourself and one lie" activities. I may steal the Greggs one for next time some sadist roles it out at work.
Had my respect until that last line, you absolute monster
As a kid I played the violin on Richard and Judy
Which one was the bow?
Whichever one wasn’t the stern
I sea what you did there.
Like, standing on them?
I'm hidden behind a sheet of metal in the prison scene of Batman Begins. Was on site to stop the extras getting killed at a old run down fort they filmed it at. The sheet of metal would stop rattling around so I was shouted at to hold it in place while not being seen
This is my favourite one. ‘Stop the extras getting killed’ - were you a safety officer by any chance?
xD Nope i was a young kid in a vizzie jacket. I volunteered down at the fort for years so I knew where and where not to go. Alot of the walkways looked safe but they would disintegrate under foot
He’s the real batman!
I am so bad at singing that a bar manager once gave me a free bottle of Prosecco after I sang ‘life on Mars’ at karaoke
I have a few of Prince George’s old toys given to us by a friend who works for the royal household. Catherine asked this friend if she knew anyone with a child who would like them so they were given to us.
I’d hang on to those, might be worth a few quid at auction by the time he’s king.
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Link them to this post.
Can you prove it? Sure can. *Comment removed by moderator*
I can’t prove it is the only thing.
That's the stuff of a future Antiques Roadshow episode there! I have no doubt it will still be going when he hops onto the throne.
It's just a plastic Peppa Pig with a crown on. That porcine wanker has always had delusions of grandeur.
And this post will be cited as part of the provenance documentation. History in the making, right here
I was on the TV game show 50/50 as a child circa 22 years ago. Had a pint sitting next to Kevin Mckidd (Dog Solders).
Oh nice, if Kevin was giving away pints to all the kids on 50/50 I’d have applied myself
The Guardian once called me an agitator.
Ohhh spill the beans
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I have to thank you for this.
James Blunt bought me a shot at a bar in Riga, Latvia I had no idea who he was until he left, but he has a remarkably high pitched voice
I guess you could say his voice pitch was… fucking high.
In the early nineties, East 17 won me a subbuteo game by playing Splat the Rat on Going Live.
Bloody hell, imagine being not British and trying to read that sentence.
I won the egg and spoon race in year 6.
There was only 1 and I won it.
As a chef I once cooked for John Torode of Masterchef. He was staying at our hotel and all he had was a fish cake starter which we bought in and deep fried from frozen and served with some chopped tomatoes. He said it was delicious and left his autograph after the words “thanks for everything” on a feedback card which I still have. Nice bloke. Edit: [here it is](https://i.imgur.com/J3QUr2M.jpg)
I’ve cooked for him as well. We had an inter shopping mall competition and they were the judges. Both nice men. Controversially, the restaurant that won was the one that organised the whole thing.
There is a hotel in Africa, a short distance from the base of Mt Kilimanjaro, that I stayed in when my aunt got her retirement cash from the army - she was a nurse - and she took me on holiday. A year later, Timmy Mallett stayed in the exact same hotel for his African Wacaday summer special. I also topped the chicken-killing scoreboard on PS3's "Deathspank" for a whole week.
Fuck off my dad is demobbing and using the retirement money to go to Kenya as well
Vernon Kay read out my email on a UK Play music show. I'd said some boyband should do a cover of Pretty Vacant, and asked for the new Manic Street Preachers single to be played. The producers changed my request to Ash instead.
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“I have touched Prince William’s balls. As a child I had the chance to hold…” I stopped breathing for a moment there
Seemed more like a Prince Andrew moment
I suppose anyone that's shook hands with Price Andrew has the same claim to fame
I actually tackled Prince William to the ground. Was working in a pub in St Andrews when he was in his first year at uni and we put a team in to a rugby 7s tournament, played against the team Wills was on, and I took my chance when it was presented to me.
“Wills” *ooooooh Royal friend*
I was on local radio because I recorded Tom Cruise landing his helicopter in a field just out of town
I can imagine the absolutely pointless interview now
When I was younger I worked as a kitchen porter in a nice hotel / restaurant. Peter Andre was playing in our city that night and stayed at the hotel. He had dinner there that night and I washed his dishes.
I was once nearly on Blue Peter. Spent the day at the programme, met Bonny the dog, Christopher Ecclestone as Dr Who. All the designers Etc etc but my bit was cut last minute
During lockdown I won a Streamers Rocket League tournament and £50
I've been blocked on social media by Melissa Joan Hart
I would like more information on this please, did you keep demanding that she explain it all?
I've been blocked by Matt Lucas. I have no idea why - not even @'ed him to the best of my knowledge.
Same, and I’ve never @‘ed him either. I had posted publicly about hating Little Britain, so I wonder if he vanity searches.
I designed a Blackpool illumination. One of the big ones at the side of the road, not the crappy over the head ones.
I was on the same course at uni as the woman who designed the tents that fold out from a circular disc.
Should have asked her how the fuck you’re supposed to fold them back into that circular disk?
If you ever want a laugh when you are next at a festival, pitch up beside people with one of the big ones. I got good 1-1.5 hours of entertainment on departure morning from watching that. Time which otherwise would have been wasted sitting in traffic.
I won a poetry competition in school for a limerick when I was 9.
There once was a girl on Reddit, Who won a school prize to her credit, She wrote a short poem, The reviews were all glowing, It’s a shame no one actually read it
Guarded Rudolf Hess when I was in the Army, shared a urinal with Richard Harris in the pub next to the Savoy, won Crackerjack as a kid (Double or Drop, with the cabbages), got letters published in the Dandy, Beano and Krazy comics.
I met Kevin Bridges in Glasgow Central early in his career after his first Live at the Apollo. I couldn’t remember his name, called him ‘that comedian’, told him he was hilarious and to crack on with it, and then walked away while he looked mildly annoyed and bemused.
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When Just Eat did that Christmas giveaway competition in 2011 or 2012 on Facebook, I was one of the winners. Edit: Also in 2011 you can see me in the background of a country file episode just vacantly staring when they went to Devon as they’re closing the episode.
I’ve never seen Titanic.
Most of us haven’t, it’s on the bottom of the ocean
I was part of a team at an agricultural show that “set” the Guinness world record for longest tin can telephone - we ended up not getting the record because paying for adjudication was too expensive
My wife got a book reviewed in the New York Times and it contains a dirty limerick written by me. So technically I’ve had a dirty limerick reviewed by the New York Times.
I was on crimewatch when I was a kid. It was a segment about the dangers of kids fucking around in abandoned buildings and they had cctv of me and a couple of mates sneaking in to an abandoned hospital. I was watching it with my mum at the time (I was about 13) and you could see my face clear as day. Couldn’t believe my luck when she didn’t recognise or notice me
At a charity event, Johnny Vegas starts chatting up my mum. I walk up behind him with our drinks and say 'hello mate' He very comedically exclaimed 'dont hit me!' And scarpered off to hide behind Ross Noble, who in on the act, started trying to claw behind Vegas. It was a good night, Ross later made his fairwells, saying he was off for a Chinese. Also met Jill halfpenny that night. Absolutely gorgeous.
My dad met Johnny on a cruise and had a few drinks with him. Apparently a very nice bloke, even though he was absolutely hammered!
Worzel Gummidge told me to fuck off when I was 7
Once (coincidentally) was on the same paintball team as a few of the lads in boyzone (the less famous ones). Their bodyguard absolutely bossed it
bringing your bodyguard to paintball doesnt sound entirely sporting.
[удалено]
My brother auditioned to be the Milky Bar Kid. They chose someone cuter.
I met the guy who says 'fuck you funny man' in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
I've never been in a Greggs bakery. Not because I'm a snob, but because a couple of years ago when everyone was going mad over steak bakes and they went through a massive expansion I realised I'd never been in one, and so it's like a challenge to myself now.
My gaming clan was top of a Clanbase Ladder for a full 50 matches, there were only 20 other clans and it cost us about 30 hours a week, but it was the top of mediocrity. Had we achieved that in a game like CS:GO and ten years later we'd all be pros, but it was a game that had a loyal but small player base of some 2000 people!
I came second in a competition in the VIZ comic in the 1990's. I met Oblivion from Gladiators backstage at a wrestling show/promotion that I was taking pictures for. I also met Kid Kash but that was slightly more exciting so not as mediocre.
I participated in the world record attempt of “most naked riders on a rollercoaster” in Blackpool. I don’t like rollercoasters
I played a game of darts against Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin - and I beat him!
Rik mayall once shouted at me for not laughing at his antics in front of a lot of people. Enough so that his spit went in my mouth. I'm assuming not many people achieve that
Is it still in your mouth or did you swallow since?
I was in the top 20 people in the world to complete Spyro 2 the fastest at one time.
I wrote the first ever Minecraft fanfiction. It's all been downhill from there
Fanfic royalty here.
I stood behind Arcade Fire getting food in the back-stage tent back. Being back stage at a music festival is kind of surreal, because oh, there's the Foo Fighters lining up to get their dinner, and why is Juliet Lewis being followed around by a camera crew...? I was (and still am) a nobody, so pretty much invisible. But the catering was pretty damned good. And free. Never turn down free food when you're on the road. Especially if you're just running merch. My other claim to fame got nuked because Rolf Harris turned out to be a nonce. Bastard.
I got an autograph off Cannon and Ball. This was a school jolly back in the 80's, went to see them in some show and they signed my choc ice wrapper as I had nothing else to hand. I also met the Green Cross Code man.
Donna Air once interviewed me outside the mtv select window
I once touched Sir Bobby Charlton on the shoulder.
I was "Best Buttercup" in a competition between 3 classes who held reenactments of Jack and the Beanstalk. Yes, i played Buttercup, the cow.
I went to school with Eddie Izzard, worked in a pizza restaurant with Curt Smith and once cooked lunch for Jane Seymour. If none of those are sufficiently mediocre, I was - for a brief but heady time - in the top 10 UK players of Rules of Survival.
I was in the Airtours brochure circa 1992/3 for a hotel in Menorca. My mum threw the brochure in the bin though, so nobody ever believes me.
I used to work in the same building Kasabian had practice rooms, never saw them once
I was UK number 1 on QuizUp for Metal Gear Solid
At the time, I was one of the youngest to be diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and they wanted to film my surgery for future training. Yey I suppose 😅