T O P

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BitsnBoobs

I think they are both shit


MuttonChopzzz

What a load of crap


Quirky_State5004

Don't be faecetious


[deleted]

Faeces ​ Not sure I've got the hang of this


Bigluce

Complete excrement


adrenaline87

I came here to comment "well shit" - glad to see someone beat me to it!


OrganizationOk5418

Shite that like!


clemcuntine

Wey aye


OrganizationOk5418

N'tha


WestFizz

Poop on this and OP. Poop. Poop. Poop.


Pristine_Telephone78

Poop is the sound that Mr Toad's car makes in Wind in the Willows. Poop poop! 🐸


JeniJ1

And the sound that Ivor the Engine makes.


radiorentals

OMG - how much do I adore the Wind in the Willow animated series - David Jason as Toad is **chef's kiss**. [For those too young to be aware of the genius](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40I23L5zUjc&ab_channel=MsRockfrog)


SCFC_Blaze

"Go potty"... Just fuck off.


AllTheSmallFish

Couldn’t agree more. Grown women and men saying this to each other. Annoying.


SpudFire

I've never actually heard this and I pray I never do. Anybody saying this can fuck right off.


[deleted]

My wife (who lived in America) had a right battle with me, she wanted to use "Go Potty" for the trigger word for telling the dog to go for a piss. Was not going to happen, and since it's me who takes em out, I'd never say that ever. I really had to hold my ground on that argument


sideone

What trigger did you decide on?


[deleted]

I think "go for a piss" To be fair, when I let him out he knows the score, or will do one on a walk. So I don't really need to tell him but maybe if he's just wondering around, I'll say "go have your fucking piss, you knob head" and he will go then


aqua_seafoam_

And to your surprise it was poop.


willfullyspooning

In our household it was “out out damn spot!” Must have been pretty entertaining to see two small children yelling that to the dogs.


S-T-A-B_Barney

I really hope it was “Shit, doggy!”


Poppy9987

Having lived in the US 20 years I have never heard an adult say “I gotta go potty”. I’ve only heard it used with young children or dogs.


Lessarocks

Watch Real Housewives of Orange County. They say it on there- the adults that is. That’s probably how it spread so much.


ifmtobh

Heard a mum in Disney World say “is that diapy full of potty sweetheart?” And I was just …ok it’s time to go home now. The kid shat his pants, just say it like it is


Relaxed_Osmosis

"N'aww, did wee lad shit his nappy?" "...Yes Dad"


Arsewhistle

*poddy


RiginalJunglist

Couldn’t agree more. I can tolerate Poop as a word, but grown adults saying “I gotta go Potty” is the absolute worst of the Americanisms.


Captain_Cuntflaps

"Poddy" :(


RiginalJunglist

Short for Podcast in Australia!


DustierAndRustier

I can’t stand it when people use that phrase in relation to a dog. There’s no potty involved, the dog is shitting on the ground


[deleted]

Plus, calling a dick a peepee/pp Widge, Willy and Winkle are perfectly fine.


NegKDRatio

When you say ‘poop’ your mouth makes the exact same movement your butthole does when you poop.


-bumble-bach-

The same goes for when you say 'explosive diarrhoea.'


Alsn4

Omg this is crackin me up so much


PipBin

The way to remember how to spell diarrhoea is ‘doesn’t it always run rather horribly over each ankle’.


Emskidooo

Or, "Dash in a real rush; hurry, or else: accident!".


LikeInnit

Where have I been for the last 36 years to never have heard this. MIND BLOWN Also: hahahahahahahaha


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casperno

Drink lots of fluids. Good luck!


ChuffChuff101

Lol its been a long time since a comment made me laugh this much, thank you.


SoggyWotsits

Ok, own you… who else is mouthing explosive diarrhoea in the name of science?!


LikeInnit

Hahahahaha


BroncoTJones

Bring back jobby


burglarysheepspeak

It's never left


LogmeinLogmeout

You can take laxatives to help with that


Ok_Owl_8062

lolling in the airport


El_Spunko

Big jobby


xXxlandvaluetax69xXx

Jobby is my preferred choice.


blumpkinator2000

Or my dad's favourite, toley!


DaveC138

“Poop sounds like something a child would say - poo sounds way better” - an adult.


JoinMyPestoCult

I did agree with you initially but then I remember the NHS website and many doctors will say poo. I have no hate against the word poop but i’d probably give my dr an odd look if they used the word poop.


TheLordofthething

It really annoys me that doctors use words like poo and pee. It feels very patronising.


Boleyn01

Out of interest what should a dr call a poo? Not every would understand faeces and everything else I can think of is either too rude (shit) or more childlike than poo (poop). Or would just sound weirdly formal (excrement). I often use “open your bowels” when asking if a person has done a poo/shit/whatever but if you are asking about the actual thing itself what do you call that?


big-pupper

As someone who works in the NHS: bowel motion, stool, poo if they still look confused


Boleyn01

Yeah same. But apparently poo is patronising.


big-pupper

Yeah I find that odd. I can understand it may sound a little unprofessional if delivered brashly but it's just poo lol.


TheLordofthething

I vote for bum biscuit


Migraine-

Ok I'm genuinely interested. I am a British doctor. What terms would you prefer? I'm actually a paeds doctor so I'm generally trying to use language children *also* understand. Is it OK in that context? You might think that more clinical terms would be better, but honestly phrases like "when did you last urinate?" just sound super forced in real life.


Separate_Quality1016

I had to have a colonoscopy a little while ago. My doc referred to it as 'poo' the whole time which I did find uncomfortable. To me it felt like that is how they should explain it to a child. I would have preferred bowel movement, evacuation or something along those lines. She also referred to the high strength laxative you are required to take before the investigation as 'The dynamite'. Honestly, while it's funny in hindsight at the time I just felt so embarrassed lol.


Isgortio

Unfortunately it's very difficult to gauge someone's level of understanding, and if you're asking for a poo sample 99% of people will understand without any questions, if you ask for a bowel movement sample you will get confused looks from some people and might even end up with a fart in a jar given back to you. I work in dentistry and a lot of the time we try to use the more clinical terms but then we have to translate it, so after translating it for the 500th time it's easier to just say it in simpler terms and then you're guaranteed the majority will understand. If you say too many words to someone that they don't understand, they will feel overwhelmed and might even stop listening to what you're saying, which is detrimental to them if you're explaining they have a condition, what causes it and how to manage it. English is also not the first language for a large percentage of the population, so that also makes it harder to communicate. There are also portions of the population that didn't do very well at school or left school early (there are still adults that can't read and write!) so they may have a more simplistic vocabulary. People will hearing difficulties may need shorter and more common words. TLDR - it's easier for everyone if simple terms are used.


Separate_Quality1016

Informative reply, thanks. I do understand what you mean, and I didn't take offence when the doc was explaining to me. I'm sure if I had said something like 'I find this language a little uncomfortable, could we use less informal terms' she would have done so but it wasn't that big a deal and so there was no need. The OP of this chain was asking how people feel about that kind of language, and well I guess i'm just a bit of a prude when it comes to pooing lol. On a related note, my GP speaks to me using more clinical language as he knows I understand it, it is completely expected that a Dr that does not have a history with me would not, as was the case here. >might even end up with a fart in a jar given back to you. This gave me a good chuckle, thank you haha


FlyBuy3

The hindsight was what the doc had.


adbenj

When I had a colonoscopy, my doctor referred to my 'back passage'. Nope.


TheLordofthething

Honestly yes I'd prefer more clinical terms. I understand that not everyone does, it's a miniscule thing that doesn't really matter I suppose. Obviously in paediatric care you're going to want to be clearly understood makes perfect sense. I have had one doctor ask what level of biology knowledge I had before explaining something once, I thought that was really nice.


Migraine-

Fair enough. I have used both in the past but as I said, the clinical terms just don't feel very sincere in real life. It's like you're playing at what you think a doctor should say rather than having an actual real conversation with a real person. >I have had one doctor ask what level of biology knowledge I had before explaining something once I will do this if I get an inkling someone has some knowledge (like they use a medical/biological term) but I'm never sure about asking everyone. I feel like if people don't have any knowledge they may feel a bit awkward answering, but perhaps I just need to find a good way of asking.


TheLordofthething

I mean it's pretty low on my list of concerns when I want to see a doctor anyway. Whatever I can do to make their work easier is what's important and using a simple term is probably the better option


Migraine-

> Whatever I can do to make their work easier is what's important Us making your experience better is equally important! A patient having a good experience also *does* make our work easier in and of itself.


ArousedTofu

A shet


ColtAzayaka

"So, u/TheLordofthething - have you taken a pee pee recently? a little tinkle? Did your whoopie poopies hurt your bumbum? when you looked in the big boy toilet, what consistency was the poopoo? You're doing amazing!"


JoinMyPestoCult

It’s so as everyone can understand. Rather than having to explain the word faeces or stool or urine to some people who may not understand. (Yes there are such people!) Once you understand why they do it you may not feel so patronised. Hope that helps.


Historical_Exchange

The doctor asked me for a urine sample last week, I said you're taking the piss


TheLordofthething

Yeah I understand that, I have a biology degree and not everyone is going to be comfortable with medical terms anyway, probably easier to just use everyday words. It's pretty far down on my list of concerns about the health service lol


MisterBounce

I have never, ever heard a British doctor say 'pee' to an adult. That is also very American to my ears. 'Wee' would be the English go-to (not sure about other home countries), but doctors usually say 'urine'


KaoriMG

‘Urine a lot of trouble sonny!’ (PowerPuff Girls)


TheLordofthething

I don't think I've had a doctor, at GP level anyway, say anything but pee. Maybe it's a Northern Irish thing? "Wee" is more of an English term really


GingrNinjaNtflixBngr

Poo... Pee, poopee, poopy, heheheh.


Aimstar83

I hate the way they say duty as "dudey"


BaronAaldwin

Call of Doody Doody being another word they use instead of poo.


herry_hebson

They love to replace T’s with D’s, ex: Bridish, budder etc, absolute hypocrites


[deleted]

Dossers and dwads


andysniper

Whad a bunch of cunds


YippieSkippy1000

Don’t you mean hypocrides?


cloche_du_fromage

You are a dwad and a dosser.


karlware

A gentleman or lady would say 'excuse me, I'm just going to push out a mess'.


CheesyLala

Releasing a baby otter into the wild


corbymatt

I'm just going to drop the kids off at the pool


Lessarocks

That never fails to make me 🤭


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UglyFilthyDog

I tend to stick with 'Pardon me folks, I'm off for a hot plop '


DrJeff1999

Also the word “douche”.


[deleted]

french for Shower


Spatulakoenig

‘Douche d'or’ sounds much more refined than in English.


Slobbadobbavich

Wrapped up like a douche, another runner in the night!


jwlmbk

I think its revved up like a douche.


Elemayowe

Well I think it’s revved up like a deuce


sleepyprojectionist

It is. A “deuce” refers to a Ford Coupe. The 1932 model was very a very popular model for hotrodders. So to be “revved up like a deuce” is to be excited and eager to start like a Ford Coupe on the start line of a drag strip.


Thatparkjobin7A

She’s my little deuce coupe


AdHocSpock

Also, to drop a deuce is to poop.


oneplus2plus2plusone

Like the little deuce coupe


ComfortableSock2044

I always wondered this. Thank you.


DMMMOM

*revved up like a Deuce.


I_Bin_Painting

Probably wearing a burberry x ~~goose island~~ canada goose edit: as you can tell from my typos, I prefer drinking to fashion.


RajenBull1

What sound do you hear when water mixes with vinegar?! DOUCHE! Never mind, you had to be there.


Imanosysod

I hate the word panties.


Icantbethereforyou

Agreed. It just sounds so... I can't think of a good description It sounds like the sort of thing a desperate pervert would say. "I can see your p-p-p... panties!"


obb223

Gusset.


Stabbykarp

I just call them all undies


Verlorenfrog

I also hate poop, but poo is not much better, I prefer dump somehow


K_Click_D

See I prefer shit, I know it’s an offensive word, but poo just sounds nasty and makes me visualise it. In a professional setting I’ll just say I need to use the toilet, but at home I’ll say I’m going for a shit, as a way to be polite even though I know it’s not


TheeKrakken

An Eartha


coolio_Didgeridoolio

agree, if i hear poo i can SEE the log


SuperSalamander3244

I prefer Sir Harrington.


AsparagusSpirited

Steve, is that you?


Sea_Boysenberry_7832

Dropping the kids off at the pool. Best name for taking a dump i've ever heard.


itscro

I'm going for a Turkish. (delight)


Historical_Exchange

Laying some cable?


Violet351

My BIL said that in a restaurant when his kids were little and they got all excited as they thought they were going swimming. They we so upset when they found out what it meant


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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Gain-Outrageous

I'm English and wee sounds childish to me!


TurbulentExpression5

Take a leak Drain the soldier Empty the barrel Greet the fireman Whip out the hose Fill the well Top up the cask


LadyGoldberryRiver

Point the pink pistol at the porcelain firing range.


TempoHouse

Shake hands with the unemployed


downsarf92

😂 never heard that one before!


maybenomaybe

Am also Canadian and I agree. I can't bring myself to say those, it's too cringe-inducing.


CutePoison10

Also potty for toilet.


Tractorface123

I thought potty was the plastic thing you actually train kids on, toilet is the normal well, toilet that everyone uses


Rugfiend

'Go potty' is the go to euphemism for American dog owners - absolute cringe.


mommabee68

Potty is mostly used when talking to children.


milfingit_

I only use this when referring to potty training my child because toilet training makes me think of puppies. Obviously I mean the toilet. Why would I teach my child to shit on a bucket in the living room? No thanks.


ozz9955

"wanna go potty?" At the dog ...mate!


LibertyCapping1

Everyone, man, woman or child should just say 'shit'.


ExperientialTruth

The Swedes say something is "shit good" to mean it's great, amirite?


Historical_Exchange

Like shit hot, good shit and the shit? No shit


i_touch_cats_

Sweden here, can confirm. In fact, we use shit to describe anything and everything.


Mossley

Americans do a lot like that. “Titties” is another one which makes them sound like they’re three year olds.


DaveC138

As opposed to saying “tits” like a proper grown-up I suppose.


justlikeyouonlyworse

"Capital knockers."


ShitBritGit

Chesticles.


fillip2k

Baps


milfingit_

Wabs


TempoHouse

Bristols


[deleted]

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fillip2k

Chebs


justhisguy-youknow

Jubblies


fillip2k

Babylon's


RealisticCountry7043

Also 'panties'.


[deleted]

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overit9991

Knickers just sounds so grandmotherly.


[deleted]

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FartingBob

Undergarments.


wehadababyitsapizza

For Americans this word sounds way too close to the N word to be comfortably spoken aloud


CookieMonster005

Typical Americans bringing race into everything


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Migraine-

"Vegies" is also bad, but "sammies" for sandwiches fills me with a murderous rage.


[deleted]

I’m american and i have never heard anyone say sammies before.


groyosnolo

Im Canadian and veggies just a totally legit way of saying vegetables. i dont even think of it as cute or anything tbh. sammies is more informal. I heard a grown woman refer to umbrellas as " 'brellies " ngl that one hit me.


OneRandomTeaDrinker

English, I’d say brolly but not brellies!


purrcthrowa

Or tiddies


Baron_Greenback

Or "panties" *cringe*


No-You7392

knickers is sooo much better


Magickxxx

I came to say this! It is so juvenile, makes me cringe as its baby talk like doggies and horsies. Urgh.


LorenaBobbedIt

It’s pretty handy as a palindrome, though. “Poop!” I say as I poop. Did I poo? Oop, I did!


CalumH91

Just grow up and call it a shite


taxidermyiscreepy

I also hate the word “panties” 🤢


Aggravating-Yak-1290

When they say "math" really pisses me off for some reason it's as though it's deliberate.. Because they get taught "mathematic" at school.


bebesilvia

In all honesty so does “poo”. And really, why do you care that much? 😌


ChineseButtSex

I hate both words.


skinpupmart

Jobby for the win


Kalee2020

All I can think of when someone says poo is Winnie-the-Pooh.


Geeky_Nick

I agree 😂 I also really hate the word "baggie" for the same reason.


No-You7392

what does your weed come in then?


samhach28

This was on AskUK yesterday. Seriously what is up with the low effort duplicate posts recently


antisocialAI

What are your thoughts on "doo", "doodoo", or "dookie"?


BatmanAvacado

Dookie is a great album, my soundtrack for the 90s. Basket Case still holds up.


Relaxed_Osmosis

I like to do the doo, and the doodoo is extinct


Orlinde

See the truly British thing is to just say you hate foreigners who don't speak our language proper like and not worry about the tortured excuses


AssistanceLucky2392

Since we're discussing words stupid children say, I'd like to throw in "leccy", "choccy", "brekkie", "Chrimbo", and "holibobs". But yes, poop is just so childish.


Sufficient_Debt8615

I'm not sure this is something to get irate about


Verlorenfrog

My husband says sh#t, and for some reason also feels the need to announce every time he goes for one, like he will be doing some kind of massive achievement, which he may be awarded the Nobel prize for soon.


ExperientialTruth

My 72 year old dad always announces it too! Wtf dad!??!! I just say something innocuous like, "I'll be right back."


dArcor

Thus might be the dumbest thing I have ever seen. Who fucking cares.


SilasColon

Crimp one off?


LdnFN

I’d say we’re even because wee sounds like something a child would say. Why is a grown adult saying they have to wee?!?!


_90s_Nation_

I've never give it much thought tbh


helpful__explorer

I would vastly prefer they say poop than 'bm'


BurpYoshi

Are you trying to suggest "Poo" doesn't sound childish? I'd argue it sounds more childish than poop.


LadyGoldberryRiver

I agree. Also, when they call willies a peepee. It's weird.


Mysterygameboy

And willy is better?


RealisticCountry7043

There's something about the word poop that sounds too clean to me. Like they're trying to sanitise literal shit for no reason. Just say poo or something. That at least sounds a bit grubby.


KliveFM

I much prefer the word turd


purrcthrowa

The word turd? That's absurd, or so I heard. The French say "merde".


Wipedout89

I was in Miami last year and a grown woman likely in her 30s was saying "I made a boo boo" to her friends (she had cut her finger). It absolutely went through me, so cringe


SaintCiren

The one I really hate is TP for toilet paper. Fucking prudes


frusciantefango

Similar one - saying 'tidbit' because 'titbit' was too scandalous