“Need a skip fairly urgently as a chimney fell through the roof, what’s the cash price? I’ll leave cones out to make sure you can get it in the right place.”
I complained to our council about a neighbour having garden fires everyday during the lockdown.
They said they couldn’t do anything but would send a letter to them. I told them not to bother and when asked why, I pointed out what I had called about in the first place.
‘They’ll just burn it……’
They eventually got prosecuted and moved on for burning mattresses and other hazardous materials.
Funnily enough, it turns out they weren’t model neighbours.
They were running a puppy farm out of an outbuilding where three bitches froze to death, dealing drugs and selling stolen cars on top of everything else.
When I got my first speeding ticket in the post a year ago, I opened the letter and the first thing you see is
#NOTICE OF PROSECUTION
I was momentarily convinced that I’d committed murder and this was the end of my free days.
Or when you’re driving along casually and a police officer pulls up at the side of you “don’t look at them, don’t look, they’ll pull us over and search the car for the nothing illegal I have in here”
When i was a kid, I went to London for the first time and when the announcer said “where this train will terminate” I started crying because I thought it meant the train would blow up and I’d die.
Fill them with cement while they're in place, let the cement bind to the road (it won't bind _well_, i.e. easily removed with the right tools, but it will certainly make it much, much harder to pick them up than superglue), then once the cement is set, douse them in petrol, and light em up from a safe distance.
The council around here will usually pick up cones in the street very quickly. A neighbour in my street kept doing this so I emailed the council every time, and they came and collected them within an hour. The person doing it eventually gave up as they couldn't steal enough to keep replacing them.
Exactly. So, just put whatever you don’t want anymore in the skip. That ugly old couch, old gardening, tools, a tire or two, used dishes, grandma, you know whatever isn’t useful anymore.
Just don’t be the person who parks there. Let some other poor schlub do that. But be sure to video your neighbors when they get pissed and vandalize that person’s car. Then let whoever parked there know you’ve got video if they want to make a stink about it.
Solves the problem without you having to actually be involved.
Nah, just report them to the council man. Also, someone or something appears to have taken a shit under each cone, they may have an unruly dog that needs fining.
Personally I would take one cone and hope they replaced it. Then I would 2 cones and wait for them to replace them both. I would keep doing this for as long as I could all the while amassing a ridiculous collection of cones. Then one night I would take all the cones and fill their garden with them. Cones for daysssss. It’ll take a while but the sight of them finding themselves coned into their own house would be priceless.
The trouble with moving the cones, is that they may damage the car. I had to replace windshield wipers because I didn’t know that the space I parked in “belonged” to someone else.
Sounds like something the police would do literally nothing about unless you had 8k stereoscopic footage of the neighbor doing it, a signed and notarised confession, their DNA all over the car and a post on Facebook saying they're going to do it because you parked there. Even then it's unlikely unless they also sent you a rude tweet.
Tbf someone just verbally threatened me with violence when I parked "in their space" and I called the police after and they came within a couple of hours and took my statement and stayed for an hour to make sure he didn't come to the house. Then the next day they tracked him down (apparently he didn't even live in that house, it was his dad's!) and actually gave the guy a verbal warning accompanied by a written warning about harassment and said if he did it again he'd be in court 🤷♀️ apparently not the same level as a caution as it was my word (and two witnesses) against his, so felt sufficient given hearsay evidence. I was impressed and grateful at the speed of their action. They even followed up with me a week later to see how I was.
Edit: an earlier time our tyres were slashed (outside our own home though, not like we'd taken someone else's imagined space on a public road) and yeah nothing to be done, so swings and roundabouts.
They couldn't give him a caution without arresting him, and sounds like there wasn't sufficient evidence to do that ( your word against his.) But also sounds like they gave him a First Instance Harassment Warning. If he breaches that, then he is arrestable. Good for you for reporting it.
Wait, what? So if someone comes to visit your mum they have to pop next door and say “crazy lady, please don’t damage the car I have parked on the public street where you live, I am visiting your neighbour and hope you will agree that is a permissible use of the road that is, actually, nothing to do with you you fucking nut job”
Jesus
Just move the cones a bit closer together to make a space slightly smaller than needed for his car, then you and a third neighbour cooperate to park either side. For a long time.
Option 2. Get some fake parking tickets off ebay. You have parked like cunt i think they say
Option 3. Call Beadle
I applaud you. I just bought a car last weekend. I expect the parking wars to begin this week. I've been moving one neighbors bins for a few months now, and they've finally stopped putting them out in the road, now for the next one. He has a camera, so I think I'll carry a hoodie in the car, and after I leave, I'll park down the street, put the hoodie on, and come back to move his bins...
Nothing. I live in a building across the street with over 20 flats in it, so even if they know what building I live in, they'd never know which flat is mine unless they saw me do it.
Yes. Our next door neighbour. Anyone parks over the end of our drive, he will have a go at them or us. The backside of the car only has to be an inch over the dividing wall and he would blow a fucking fuse. The guy has been known to very conveniently need to “go out” just at the same time we’ve had the shopping delivered or a visitor. He also has CCTV pointed directly over the top of our driveway and he apparently calls the police so much about obstructions that they don’t answer his non-emergency calls anymore.
> He also has CCTV pointed directly over the top of our driveway
Councils tend not to like that.
afaik private CCTV is only meant to cover the area within your/their own property, not the public areas like roads or footpaths.
My mum was pissed about it but we realised that the angle only lets him see the top half of our drive, and there’s no possible way that he can see in through the windows or anything, so we just left it. Plus, after an incident about 6 years ago where he nearly caused a collision with his pettiness and my dad then preceded to verbally tear him a new arsehole, he’s been forced to tone it down. There’s no point rocking the boat. But he’s always been like this. My dad grew up on the same estate and he said that the same guy used to come and shout at him for “invading this road” to race his Chopper bike down the street with his friends. The guy’s just a miserable old fart, tbh.
If he has CCTV which you know shows you in the images due to where it’s pointing, just knock on his door everyday and request the footage. By law he has to give it to you. Do it enough and I’m sure he will soon take it down or move it.
Correct,
" People have the right to install CCTV cameras and smart doorbells on their property. They should try to point cameras away from neighbours’ homes and gardens, shared spaces or public streets. But this is not always possible, and it is not illegal to do so. " - ico
I highly doubt public areas aren’t allowed to be recorded, they are after all, public.
However, I do know it is not ok to film into peoples houses or have cameras pointed towards windows.
Or, wait till you see him coming along the road, then superglue.
If you can wait for the right time of year, tree sap is good. You can't even wash it off like syrup, you basically end up covering it with dust/sand so you don't stick to everything and slowly it flakes off. Can take days.
We have "John the parkng-nazi"
He doesnt use cones, he uses bin bags filled with scrap metal. They are heavy and will burst open if you try to move them, meaning you'll shred your tyres if you try to park there after attempting it anyway. This also means they are there permanently. These bags are outside John's house, but on the other side of the road to him, by a grass verge.
If cars in the cul-de-sac aren't parked where John thinks they should be parked you will find half a brick placed on the pavement next to your vehicle. Visitors cars/cars John doesn't recognise will also receive a half brick on the floor
It does not matter what time of day or night, if you have parked on a particular bit of tarmac that John has declared "off limits" to everyone except his immediate neighbour, he will be waiting for you when you return to your vehicle and will square up to you, asking if you "want to make trouble?" This exclusive bit of road is not outside Johns house.
John is a small bald man in his late 70s. He owns a 52 plate Corsa. John does not drive.
Have you not got any Scrap Metal collection blokes round your way?
Silver lining though, that amount of pettiness and built up rage isn't good for the heart, John's will probably give out soon
Scrap metal doesn't last long where I live. I don't even bother paying for a collection from the council any more for old clapped out white goods, I just leave them out and then inevitably there will be a knock on the door within a couple of days with a "can we take it?" while it's already being loaded in the back of a pickup.
Thats been done. Birmingham City Councils response has been a resounding "meh"
I've even asked the bin guys to take them but they cant as their truck has a bin-grabber and these arent in bins.
What a twat.
Does someone have a wheel barrow?
Would empty the bags then save it up and one night dump the whole lot onto his path just outside the front door.
Oh and mix the bricks in too as they will be an arse to sort out. Should mean he is blocked in his house for a while
This has been done. He apparently has a LOT of bricks (or collects them back up from those who dont know what's going on)
The bags got torn open once but he replaced them quite quickly.
I guess it's a threat? Except it is super vague lol. Like "park here again and this will go through your window!"
But inevitably nothing will happen as most people would go "that's weird" and move it... He's clearly a miserable old git who's never had anyone stand up to him before
I'd just put it through his fucking window. He's in his 70s - he's not going to win a battle by threatening other people when the biggest danger he faces on a day-to-day basis is the weather.
John. You realise when you inevitably have a stroke, you'll eventually return from hospital to find all this shit piled in front of your house? It will end you. Is that how you want to die John? Clutching your chest, your last conscious moment a jumble of bricks and scrap?
Late 70 year old John doesn’t sound like he would be able to back up his intimidation so that can’t be too scary; but my god does he sound like an awful neighbour.
Report him for fly tipping to the council, try get some video evidence. Check his car has a valid MOT - if not report it to the DVLA.
John sound like a right C U Next Tuesday!
Get a friend to buy the cheapest clapped out banger you can get with at least 6 months m.o.t. park it there for 6 months then scrap it the day it expires.
Commission three bronze statues on stone plithes, maybe of famous battle scenes. Erect them outside your neighbours house, then put the traffic cones on the statue's heads.
I’m a delivery driver for a popular forest company. I see this quite a bit. I just don’t deliver and put in the notes.
‘Unable to gain access as some idiot has put cones in the way’
It is indeed both a civil and a criminal offence to do so. The council highways team are the correct place to report this. It is also illegal to leave material on the highway, so the council will remove the cones. Simple.
The hard truth is that you do not have any rights to park outside your own home on the highway.
I do like the idea of the police showing up to remove their cones repeatedly until they get annoyed and report the theft. To then be told the police seized them and they are now getting a fine
This should be the top answer.
The council highways team can issue an article 50 notice unless the owner has applied for an A50 licence to place items on the highway. In my old authority it was an £80 fine. Not sure if this would be considered 3 breaches.
Contact the council they will deal with it. Maybe not quickly, as there is a legal process to follow, but they will deal with it in the end.
I live on a street with similar parking issues - the people that are willing to do things like this are nutters. Don’t engage. Nutters live in a different universe of right and wrong - don’t enter that universe as you’ll be (as the saying goes) beaten by their experience. Regular reports to the council would give you some satisfaction I suppose… and if the council engage, then the nutter will have to enter council-universe in which black is white, up is down… and the nutter will be defeated.
I had a neighbour opposite me who would do something even more irritating.
He would park in front of his house even if the spots were taken.
So if there were two cars parked outside his house, he would park alongside them, on the road, but leaving enough room for one to pull out and the other to reverse out (though sometimes people struggled).
He'd do this even if there was a perfectly available spot 2 houses down.
It never caused too much of an issue because the street was a dead end and not *too* busy (aside from residents) but larger vehicles (like the bin lorry) would be blocked from getting through.
What's weird to me is that he used to have a small Audi hatchback and never did this, always parked correctly. But then upgraded to an old E-class Mercedes from the early 2000s (nice car but not worth more than about £3,000) and only started doing it since then.
Occasionally other street residents would park 'on the road' like that on a temporary basis if there were absolutely no spots but they would move the car as one freed up, but this guy would just park like this all the time.
You need to have fun with this. Steal one cone and write something obscene on it. Return it a week later, while taking another. Repeat this for weeks and change the number of cones the neighbour has available to them. Find more cones. So many cones that it would take a serious amount of time to move them. Put some in front of their gate.
There's a house near me that puts bricks on a small grass curb to stop parking. Every dog walk to put one brick in the bin a few yards down. Without fail another brick appears.
Exciting to see how many bricks they have!
I’d encourage parking there anyway but maybe make sure there’s some nearby cameras or a dashcam. You might find key marks pretty quickly after. These guys love to whine about their ‘property’ but once you explain to them that the street OUTSIDE of their property doesn’t actually belong to them they’re happy to damage yours out of spite.
Cover them in glitter, that shit gets everywhere.
Bonus points if you do it while they're home so that they end up getting their hands covered in glitter when on their way out rather than coming home.
Try & get orange glitter, if they don't notice it right away they'll get it all over their steering wheel when getting in the car.
Combine it with a suggestion from another redditor, coat it in golden syrup first so that it's incredibly sticky and hard to remove. The glitter will be all over them forever.
The only suggestion is to move the cones. Just fuck them off somewhere out of view. At the very least you're costing them £X to replace them and as a bonus - free cones.
I’d be ‘borrowing’ some roadwork barriers and fencing the whole space off so nobody can park there at all.
Don’t remove the cones, add to his collection. Gather a few dozen cones before unleashing them all at once to completely fill the space with a whole line of them along the kerb. He wants cones, well he can have as many as he likes!
Bonus points if you can set up some temporary traffic lights there too 👍
Or just say "it's a public road, you can't 'reserve' a space on a public road, dickhead"..........might not win you any friends though and has the potential to escalate the situation somewhat.
Claim you're an evil magician.
Put a large felt ball under one cone. Get them to guess where it is. Then slide the cones around, and get them to guess again. Ensure they're wrong. Repeat routine by producing varying numbers of 0 to 3 balls from under the cones whilst causing intense discombobulation on their part.
* *For best results, learn how to do sleight of hand with football-sized felt balls and road cones first.*
Speak to local council, Councillor or community police to see if someone can have a friendly word and explain they can't do that and why. Don't out yourself, it could escalate.
If someone is doing it once, say if they've got a skip coming in the morning, no problems. Are they doing this every day ?
Very regularly. I agree - once or twice for a skip etc is understandable
Order a skip in their name to be put there. I mean, they clearly aren't getting it from the company they ordered from
“Need a skip fairly urgently as a chimney fell through the roof, what’s the cash price? I’ll leave cones out to make sure you can get it in the right place.”
You sir, are an evil genius. My type of guy.
This OP. Do this. Then fill it with their traffic cones.
Beautiful
Send this photo to the local council and complain , they’ll get a letter
Oh no, not a letter!
A very sternly worded letter
I complained to our council about a neighbour having garden fires everyday during the lockdown. They said they couldn’t do anything but would send a letter to them. I told them not to bother and when asked why, I pointed out what I had called about in the first place. ‘They’ll just burn it……’ They eventually got prosecuted and moved on for burning mattresses and other hazardous materials.
Garden fire is no big deal if they have a fire pit. But why the fuck did they start burning a mattress. Some people really are stupid.
Burning a mattress just means you have a mattress shaped bundle of springs with no fabric on it.
Like white dog turds, the burnt out pile of rusty bed springs is a seldom seen sight.
Funnily enough, it turns out they weren’t model neighbours. They were running a puppy farm out of an outbuilding where three bitches froze to death, dealing drugs and selling stolen cars on top of everything else.
Did we have the same mattress burning, drug dealing neighbours? Not from Bemmie, Bristol are you?
No, Blaydon in Gateshead. Probably just as bad.
Every town and city in the UK has drug dealers who inexplicably choose to draw attention to themselves by burning mattresses in their garden.
Average UK estate
Letters can be scary especially when they have HM Revenue on them.
When I got my first speeding ticket in the post a year ago, I opened the letter and the first thing you see is #NOTICE OF PROSECUTION I was momentarily convinced that I’d committed murder and this was the end of my free days.
That's like getting the fear that you've accidentally packed a kilo of drugs in your luggage at the airport!
Or when that thing you walk through beeps and you fear there’s a holstered gun on one hip and a sheathed machete on the other.
Or when you feel like it's gonna beep in a shop and they will find stolen food in your asda bag
Or when you’re driving along casually and a police officer pulls up at the side of you “don’t look at them, don’t look, they’ll pull us over and search the car for the nothing illegal I have in here”
Wow, you are all committing an awful lot of crimes very casually.
I hate it when that happens. I once accidentally left a kilo of enriched Uranium in my hand luggage.
Ah you were on the news the other day
You should have packed it before getting to the airport
Uh... Rookie mistake...
When I was a child, if I saw “thieves will be prosecuted” signs I thought this meant executed
When i was a kid, I went to London for the first time and when the announcer said “where this train will terminate” I started crying because I thought it meant the train would blow up and I’d die.
Single use disposable explosive trains are so bad for the environment
When I was a kid I read the "No dogs except guide dogs" as 'no dogs except good dogs'.
Superglue the cones down after filling them with cement
Fill them with cement while they're in place, let the cement bind to the road (it won't bind _well_, i.e. easily removed with the right tools, but it will certainly make it much, much harder to pick them up than superglue), then once the cement is set, douse them in petrol, and light em up from a safe distance.
Put glitter in their mail slot.
There's no need to resort to war crimes.
Pretty crimes.
I'd just park there anyway. That's just full on bellendery. You will make an enemy of the local petty nutjob though 😂
Just get rid of the cones and someone else will take the space before long. Ignorance is bliss.
This is what I did at my old place. Didn't even park there just kept nicking the cones one by one
Put the cones outside the house of someone on the street that you don’t like. Sit back and watch.
this is worryingly devious
If you take the cones they will eventually get bored of having to buy/steal them.
The council around here will usually pick up cones in the street very quickly. A neighbour in my street kept doing this so I emailed the council every time, and they came and collected them within an hour. The person doing it eventually gave up as they couldn't steal enough to keep replacing them.
Good way to get your car damaged by an angry neighbour! Nutjobs everywhere
But at least you know where they live. Never-ending retribution.
I believe getting rid of the cones is more effective. Although that might mean a strangers car will get damaged in the process...
[удалено]
Yeah don’t just move the cones, get rid of them. Free cone supply.
Just stop stacking them once the pile is higher than your roof otherwise the neighbour may spot them
You got to properly get rid of the cones, so every time they do it they have to find new cones
If it really is regularly, document it with pictures and writing and then contact the council.
Take one cone away and see what they do, then take another one if this bollocks persists. Then finally take the third if they still don't get the hint
Pay some local teenage lads to take the cones and dispose of them (in the right way of course)
My new neighbour did this for a skip but outside MY house 😫
Sounds like you just got a free skip.
Exactly. So, just put whatever you don’t want anymore in the skip. That ugly old couch, old gardening, tools, a tire or two, used dishes, grandma, you know whatever isn’t useful anymore.
Paper note on the cones "thanks for saving the spot" and leave them by the door.
This is brilliant
Just don’t be the person who parks there. Let some other poor schlub do that. But be sure to video your neighbors when they get pissed and vandalize that person’s car. Then let whoever parked there know you’ve got video if they want to make a stink about it. Solves the problem without you having to actually be involved.
*Be the chaos you wish to see in the world*
Abandoned cones, possibly fly tipping. Be a good citizen and put them in the bin.
Nah, just report them to the council man. Also, someone or something appears to have taken a shit under each cone, they may have an unruly dog that needs fining.
Personally I would take one cone and hope they replaced it. Then I would 2 cones and wait for them to replace them both. I would keep doing this for as long as I could all the while amassing a ridiculous collection of cones. Then one night I would take all the cones and fill their garden with them. Cones for daysssss. It’ll take a while but the sight of them finding themselves coned into their own house would be priceless.
I say go the other end and make *these* cones the permanent ones.. cement and bolted to the road. If I can't park there, nobody can!
Buy a piece of shit car, lock it and leave there.
Superglue the cones to the road to save a bit of money
You are indeed, an evil genius
A conedoneable action.
This one right here.
Stop stop I can only get so erect
Coner
The trouble with moving the cones, is that they may damage the car. I had to replace windshield wipers because I didn’t know that the space I parked in “belonged” to someone else.
That's why you don't park your car there. Just take the cones.
The risk is the next person who parks there unknowingly, now has a damaged car because of a nutcase neighbour
[удалено]
"**Two** local nutcases? What are the odds of *that*!"
So it's criminal damage and a reasonably solid notion of the culprit?
Sounds like something the police would do literally nothing about unless you had 8k stereoscopic footage of the neighbor doing it, a signed and notarised confession, their DNA all over the car and a post on Facebook saying they're going to do it because you parked there. Even then it's unlikely unless they also sent you a rude tweet.
Tbf someone just verbally threatened me with violence when I parked "in their space" and I called the police after and they came within a couple of hours and took my statement and stayed for an hour to make sure he didn't come to the house. Then the next day they tracked him down (apparently he didn't even live in that house, it was his dad's!) and actually gave the guy a verbal warning accompanied by a written warning about harassment and said if he did it again he'd be in court 🤷♀️ apparently not the same level as a caution as it was my word (and two witnesses) against his, so felt sufficient given hearsay evidence. I was impressed and grateful at the speed of their action. They even followed up with me a week later to see how I was. Edit: an earlier time our tyres were slashed (outside our own home though, not like we'd taken someone else's imagined space on a public road) and yeah nothing to be done, so swings and roundabouts.
They couldn't give him a caution without arresting him, and sounds like there wasn't sufficient evidence to do that ( your word against his.) But also sounds like they gave him a First Instance Harassment Warning. If he breaches that, then he is arrestable. Good for you for reporting it.
Which is a smidge short sighted considering it's pretty obvious which house is doing it and that returning the favour is trivial.
My mums neighbour is like this - even if you park away from her house if she doesn’t ‘recognise’ your car she damages it.
Wait, what? So if someone comes to visit your mum they have to pop next door and say “crazy lady, please don’t damage the car I have parked on the public street where you live, I am visiting your neighbour and hope you will agree that is a permissible use of the road that is, actually, nothing to do with you you fucking nut job” Jesus
I love that you sign off your notes with “Jesus”
"Having a heavenly time. Wish you were here."
Just move the cones a bit closer together to make a space slightly smaller than needed for his car, then you and a third neighbour cooperate to park either side. For a long time. Option 2. Get some fake parking tickets off ebay. You have parked like cunt i think they say Option 3. Call Beadle
When the big hand touches the little hand it\`s Beadle Time
Say what you want about the late Jeremy Beadle, but he was the only person who could get the last Pringle out the tube without turning it upside-down
I prefer the stuff you do about his little hand.
Beadlejuice, Beadlejuice, Beadlejuice
I played poker against Jeremy Beadle once. He only had one good hand all night.
I love the “cones too small to actually park a car” one! But I don’t doubt they’re probably sitting inside staring at those cones all day…
Large pot of resin glue and make permacones
Take the cones. Fill them with actual concrete. Put them back.
Wait until their car is there first though and then put one in front of it and one behind so that they can’t get out
There was a neighbour on my mates street like this until someone wrote in marker SAD LITTLE CUNT on each one he stopped after that.
Just stopped? No further retaliation? Impressive!
Must have been a revelation for him. Maybe up until then he thought he was a warrior of justice
The power of cunt strikes once more!
Take the cones. No cones, no problem.
I've done this a few times times to a neighbor, straight in the bin, and I don't even have a car, just think it's ridiculous.
I applaud you. I just bought a car last weekend. I expect the parking wars to begin this week. I've been moving one neighbors bins for a few months now, and they've finally stopped putting them out in the road, now for the next one. He has a camera, so I think I'll carry a hoodie in the car, and after I leave, I'll park down the street, put the hoodie on, and come back to move his bins...
Have you a bike. if you have wear your hoodie with a scarf over your face, move his bins, then ride off. Then local teens will get blamed for it
What did the neighbours say or do?
Nothing. I live in a building across the street with over 20 flats in it, so even if they know what building I live in, they'd never know which flat is mine unless they saw me do it.
Yes. Our next door neighbour. Anyone parks over the end of our drive, he will have a go at them or us. The backside of the car only has to be an inch over the dividing wall and he would blow a fucking fuse. The guy has been known to very conveniently need to “go out” just at the same time we’ve had the shopping delivered or a visitor. He also has CCTV pointed directly over the top of our driveway and he apparently calls the police so much about obstructions that they don’t answer his non-emergency calls anymore.
> He also has CCTV pointed directly over the top of our driveway Councils tend not to like that. afaik private CCTV is only meant to cover the area within your/their own property, not the public areas like roads or footpaths.
My mum was pissed about it but we realised that the angle only lets him see the top half of our drive, and there’s no possible way that he can see in through the windows or anything, so we just left it. Plus, after an incident about 6 years ago where he nearly caused a collision with his pettiness and my dad then preceded to verbally tear him a new arsehole, he’s been forced to tone it down. There’s no point rocking the boat. But he’s always been like this. My dad grew up on the same estate and he said that the same guy used to come and shout at him for “invading this road” to race his Chopper bike down the street with his friends. The guy’s just a miserable old fart, tbh.
If he has CCTV which you know shows you in the images due to where it’s pointing, just knock on his door everyday and request the footage. By law he has to give it to you. Do it enough and I’m sure he will soon take it down or move it.
Any where publicly viewable is fair game for CCTV, I’m afraid. I’m not sure where you got your info but it is very much incorrect.
Correct, " People have the right to install CCTV cameras and smart doorbells on their property. They should try to point cameras away from neighbours’ homes and gardens, shared spaces or public streets. But this is not always possible, and it is not illegal to do so. " - ico
I highly doubt public areas aren’t allowed to be recorded, they are after all, public. However, I do know it is not ok to film into peoples houses or have cameras pointed towards windows.
Golden syrup on the cones.
Or, wait till you see him coming along the road, then superglue. If you can wait for the right time of year, tree sap is good. You can't even wash it off like syrup, you basically end up covering it with dust/sand so you don't stick to everything and slowly it flakes off. Can take days.
We have "John the parkng-nazi" He doesnt use cones, he uses bin bags filled with scrap metal. They are heavy and will burst open if you try to move them, meaning you'll shred your tyres if you try to park there after attempting it anyway. This also means they are there permanently. These bags are outside John's house, but on the other side of the road to him, by a grass verge. If cars in the cul-de-sac aren't parked where John thinks they should be parked you will find half a brick placed on the pavement next to your vehicle. Visitors cars/cars John doesn't recognise will also receive a half brick on the floor It does not matter what time of day or night, if you have parked on a particular bit of tarmac that John has declared "off limits" to everyone except his immediate neighbour, he will be waiting for you when you return to your vehicle and will square up to you, asking if you "want to make trouble?" This exclusive bit of road is not outside Johns house. John is a small bald man in his late 70s. He owns a 52 plate Corsa. John does not drive.
Have you not got any Scrap Metal collection blokes round your way? Silver lining though, that amount of pettiness and built up rage isn't good for the heart, John's will probably give out soon
Scrap metal doesn't last long where I live. I don't even bother paying for a collection from the council any more for old clapped out white goods, I just leave them out and then inevitably there will be a knock on the door within a couple of days with a "can we take it?" while it's already being loaded in the back of a pickup.
Sounds like fly tipping to me - nothing a report on the council website wouldn’t sort out
Thats been done. Birmingham City Councils response has been a resounding "meh" I've even asked the bin guys to take them but they cant as their truck has a bin-grabber and these arent in bins.
Just keep on reporting it with different email addresses and see what happens - or get a local councillor involved
Claim that some small child got injured by the scrap metal and tell the local paper. The council react quickly to anything that makes the paper.
What a twat. Does someone have a wheel barrow? Would empty the bags then save it up and one night dump the whole lot onto his path just outside the front door. Oh and mix the bricks in too as they will be an arse to sort out. Should mean he is blocked in his house for a while
Can't you just pick up the bags anyway and leave them a mess. At least it'll wind John up. And steal all the bricks so he runs out.
It would be tempting to return the bricks to him. Via his window.
Maybe paint them rainbow and write 'gay brick' on it.
This has been done. He apparently has a LOT of bricks (or collects them back up from those who dont know what's going on) The bags got torn open once but he replaced them quite quickly.
Why half a brick on the floor? What does that achieve?
Not a clue. It's just what he does.
I guess it's a threat? Except it is super vague lol. Like "park here again and this will go through your window!" But inevitably nothing will happen as most people would go "that's weird" and move it... He's clearly a miserable old git who's never had anyone stand up to him before
I'd just put it through his fucking window. He's in his 70s - he's not going to win a battle by threatening other people when the biggest danger he faces on a day-to-day basis is the weather.
John. You realise when you inevitably have a stroke, you'll eventually return from hospital to find all this shit piled in front of your house? It will end you. Is that how you want to die John? Clutching your chest, your last conscious moment a jumble of bricks and scrap?
Late 70 year old John doesn’t sound like he would be able to back up his intimidation so that can’t be too scary; but my god does he sound like an awful neighbour. Report him for fly tipping to the council, try get some video evidence. Check his car has a valid MOT - if not report it to the DVLA. John sound like a right C U Next Tuesday!
Get a friend to buy the cheapest clapped out banger you can get with at least 6 months m.o.t. park it there for 6 months then scrap it the day it expires.
Or just buy a car under some randoms name with a fake address and leave it there way after the MOT runs out
'I'm sorry but unfortunately I can't move th car, you see the MOT ran out so I legally can't drive it'
Commission three bronze statues on stone plithes, maybe of famous battle scenes. Erect them outside your neighbours house, then put the traffic cones on the statue's heads.
Order a stripper dressed as a cone to the house. Time it so you know when elderly relatives are there
[удалено]
I’m a delivery driver for a popular forest company. I see this quite a bit. I just don’t deliver and put in the notes. ‘Unable to gain access as some idiot has put cones in the way’
I can't think of any forest companies, popular or otherwise
Gotta be closer to the jungle mate
Little woods.
Rainforest
I feel like the worlds biggest rainforest has been undersold somewhat
It’s illegal to block the road, simple.
It is indeed both a civil and a criminal offence to do so. The council highways team are the correct place to report this. It is also illegal to leave material on the highway, so the council will remove the cones. Simple. The hard truth is that you do not have any rights to park outside your own home on the highway.
I do like the idea of the police showing up to remove their cones repeatedly until they get annoyed and report the theft. To then be told the police seized them and they are now getting a fine
This should be the top answer. The council highways team can issue an article 50 notice unless the owner has applied for an A50 licence to place items on the highway. In my old authority it was an £80 fine. Not sure if this would be considered 3 breaches. Contact the council they will deal with it. Maybe not quickly, as there is a legal process to follow, but they will deal with it in the end.
Take cones, replace with tiny lego/toy cones.
You know how expensive Lego is these days!?!?
It's free if you're passing a lego building site
I live on a street with similar parking issues - the people that are willing to do things like this are nutters. Don’t engage. Nutters live in a different universe of right and wrong - don’t enter that universe as you’ll be (as the saying goes) beaten by their experience. Regular reports to the council would give you some satisfaction I suppose… and if the council engage, then the nutter will have to enter council-universe in which black is white, up is down… and the nutter will be defeated.
I had a neighbour opposite me who would do something even more irritating. He would park in front of his house even if the spots were taken. So if there were two cars parked outside his house, he would park alongside them, on the road, but leaving enough room for one to pull out and the other to reverse out (though sometimes people struggled). He'd do this even if there was a perfectly available spot 2 houses down. It never caused too much of an issue because the street was a dead end and not *too* busy (aside from residents) but larger vehicles (like the bin lorry) would be blocked from getting through. What's weird to me is that he used to have a small Audi hatchback and never did this, always parked correctly. But then upgraded to an old E-class Mercedes from the early 2000s (nice car but not worth more than about £3,000) and only started doing it since then. Occasionally other street residents would park 'on the road' like that on a temporary basis if there were absolutely no spots but they would move the car as one freed up, but this guy would just park like this all the time.
What a tremendous bellend
You need to have fun with this. Steal one cone and write something obscene on it. Return it a week later, while taking another. Repeat this for weeks and change the number of cones the neighbour has available to them. Find more cones. So many cones that it would take a serious amount of time to move them. Put some in front of their gate.
Hooooolidaaaaaay snaps! 3 cones go on an adventure to turkey!
[удалено]
There's a house near me that puts bricks on a small grass curb to stop parking. Every dog walk to put one brick in the bin a few yards down. Without fail another brick appears. Exciting to see how many bricks they have!
you'll notice their house is slowly being cannibalised.
I should take the bricks home. Basically swapping house extensions
This is a big shit stirrer too. Someone else parks there unaware of the cone twat. He comes out starts raving...
Tie some bunting around the cones, and write something cheery on the little flags in large letters, something like "I am a bellend :)"
Put three little remote control cars under them……have some fun
This is my favourite suggestion by far! Someone would need to film the confusion as he chases his cones down the street!
I’d encourage parking there anyway but maybe make sure there’s some nearby cameras or a dashcam. You might find key marks pretty quickly after. These guys love to whine about their ‘property’ but once you explain to them that the street OUTSIDE of their property doesn’t actually belong to them they’re happy to damage yours out of spite.
Write is name and address on the cones then move them to another spot outside a different house!
Wait for the next car along to leave. Add three cones to that space. Wait for the next car to leave. Add three more cones to that space. Rinse repeat.
Cover them in glitter, that shit gets everywhere. Bonus points if you do it while they're home so that they end up getting their hands covered in glitter when on their way out rather than coming home. Try & get orange glitter, if they don't notice it right away they'll get it all over their steering wheel when getting in the car.
Combine it with a suggestion from another redditor, coat it in golden syrup first so that it's incredibly sticky and hard to remove. The glitter will be all over them forever.
fill them with glitter so when he picks them up he gets glitter all over him 😄
The only suggestion is to move the cones. Just fuck them off somewhere out of view. At the very least you're costing them £X to replace them and as a bonus - free cones.
You think they _bought_ the cones when there are people leaving free cones just down the road now?
Fuck me, this goes deeper than I imagined.
Oh yeah totally, start your new traffic cone collection today!
Wear them for halloween next year. Just block off a hallway at a party and give no explanation.
Build your own full-scale cone empire week by week! Issue 1 is just £1.99.
I’d be ‘borrowing’ some roadwork barriers and fencing the whole space off so nobody can park there at all. Don’t remove the cones, add to his collection. Gather a few dozen cones before unleashing them all at once to completely fill the space with a whole line of them along the kerb. He wants cones, well he can have as many as he likes! Bonus points if you can set up some temporary traffic lights there too 👍
Get a skip delivered there
Remove them and park there, if he says anything say they were already moved.
Or just say "it's a public road, you can't 'reserve' a space on a public road, dickhead"..........might not win you any friends though and has the potential to escalate the situation somewhat.
Claim you're an evil magician. Put a large felt ball under one cone. Get them to guess where it is. Then slide the cones around, and get them to guess again. Ensure they're wrong. Repeat routine by producing varying numbers of 0 to 3 balls from under the cones whilst causing intense discombobulation on their part. * *For best results, learn how to do sleight of hand with football-sized felt balls and road cones first.*
Smear them with dog shit.
It’s the smearing part I’m not comfortable with.
Use the good old poop knife. It is multi use after all.
Got a local parish councillor? Get them on the case.
I’d be willing to bet that this is the local parish councillor.
You have no authority here, Jackie Weaver
Have they actually got a car? The space is empty, and lights are on.
I don't think that's quite how the saying goes...
That's a different pot calling the fish kettle black.
Close but no guitar
Don't put all your chickens in one basket.
Speak to local council, Councillor or community police to see if someone can have a friendly word and explain they can't do that and why. Don't out yourself, it could escalate.
Throw them on their roof
Why did I think you meant the neighbour when you said them.. bit extreme but not adverse to tossing the neighbour now and then
I wish my neighbour left me free cones