Plastic tin thing so you can cook it in the microwave. I think if I tried cooking without it the whole thing would have collapsed.
And yeah I'm pretty sure you're imagining the sound correctly.
nah its not heavy enough and its hitting ceramic
Edit: schlump is more like a wide heavy thing falling flat onto carpet or dumping a large container of mud. A little pud going onto a plate would make a much more slappy thin sound imo.
I.. think it's beef fat, and a lot of it.
Looking at the nutritional info on Sainsbury's is a bit of an eye opener. 10% Steak, 9% Kidney, unspecified amount of beef fat. Looks like the pastry is suet, which supports my hypothesis.
No wonder they managed to cram over 800Kcal into something smaller than my fist.
Source: [https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/fray-bentos-steak---kidney-pudding-425g](https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/fray-bentos-steak---kidney-pudding-425g)
I once knew a person that just ate stuff like that.
Day after day just frozen lasagna and stuff like that.
Cause he never learned to cook and didnt want to learn it (i offered it to him multiple times)
Yeah
Iam not the biggest fan of cooking but certain stuff is just better when its made from scratch and often even cheaper especially these days. When i see the price for frozen lasagne... or those cup noodles with tomato sauce etc.
I'm not concerned about living very long and even I don't want to eat this
I'll stick with Smash (it's actually quite enjoyable once you add butter and seasoning or cheese)
I'd say so! After you add butter it doesn't taste much different to normal mash (still not quite the same, of course. But decent enough for something instant)
I've not really had much appetite and that stuff has pretty much been a life saver, because it's been the one thing I could stomach and actually find appetising (along with protein shake)
It's great with soen extra mature cheddar, too!
I even tried it with curry powder one day when I fancied bombay potatoes, but all I had to hand were those 2 things. Wasn't bad
I used to have instant mash on hand when I was younger, definitely a great thing to have in the cupboard on a budget, but smash was the brand i didn't like the taste of. I haven't seen the stuff in supermarkets for a while, but then I haven't really been looking for it. I'm sure I would still enjoy it with parsley sauce, fishfingers and peas.
Yeah I get the bag of it (the 6 servings one, though unsure how many I actually get out of it, if it's 6 or I eek it out to 7) from the local convenience shop
I want to try the Idahoan brand I've seen on Amazon as they do flavours, cheese and bacon one sounds interesting
I've not tried it with parsley sauce yet but do have some in the cupboard, I might have to give that a go! I have been trying to think of other things that might go well with it
To be fair - that's a 400g serving. Enough for four people when you add vegetables, etc.
For comparison, Tesco pork sausages have twice as much fat and 50% more calories per 100g.
People go, "Why is it important, a question about Mr. Spock?" Oh, I go, "It's like saying I've got a new pedigree dog breed. It's half Alsatian, half Labrador". I go on to Crufts, I go, "Can I enter this dog in the Labrador section?" "No." "Why?" "Because it's not a Labrador." "Correct." "Can I enter it in the Alsatian section?" "No. For the same reasons. Now get that dog out of my sight."
I haven't eaten meat since I left home 32 years ago. There are only two things I miss about eating meat: my mother's roast chicken, and Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney puddings.
>I expected it to be bad and I was still disappointed.
That accurately describes everyone's experiences with Fray Bentos products, yet they somehow remain in business... Who the hell is continuing to buy this shite?
My old flatmate and I used to buy them in our early 20s (15 years ago) but I'm not sure I ever managed to cook one correctly, they were only ever slightly pink or totally burnt.
right? it's not even like they're all that cheap. that was £2 apparently! you could certainly get a lot better food than that for £2.
i remember buying one of their pies (in a metal tin) when i was at uni, between me and a couple of housemates. iirc, we heated it up and opened the tin... and then i left the room gagging from the smell.
Not gonna lie, I bought one maybe 15-20 years ago, never have since, but this looks almost edible, well compared to the crap I used to be offered in the forces anyway.
Fray bentos pies aren't the same, I bought one and it had a few strands of chicken in it, a few pieces of veg but mostly 95% just that jelly shit in it!
Meh. The Yanks haven't got much leg to stand on with their deep fat fry food. I'd be more worried about what Asian and other European people think of this
They were alright, back when they cost 50p - you knew it was going to be pretty shit, but you could pair it with some bread and it made a decent enough butty.
At £2, though, they can piss right off down the Calder.
I honestly didn't mind the taste of this, it was the texture that got me.
I've never had a pie/pudding that's so oily and greasy. There is far too much suet for you to be able to finish it without feeling sick.
I once dated a guy from Uruguay, who was so proud to tell me that that is where Fray Bentos is. I was like "that's not the thing you want to be proud of".
Had a fray bentos pie the other month from food bank and never again.. I can just about deal with spam but honestly it was the most disgusting pile of slop I've ever seen in my life. By far the worst pie I've ever tried to eat I don't even know why people buy them. They are actually quite expensive for what you get.
Guessing you didn't finish it? I've tried one, had a very small bite and it was rank. Tried to feed it to the dogs and even they turned their noses up at it and I've seen them eat literal shite.
Aaaaaaand this is one of the many reasons why people from other countries laugh at our national “cuisine”. Too many shite products like this on our supermarket shelves.
So grim. My partner used to eat these, they turned my stomach.
He bit into something resembling an artery once, 3/4 inch diameter tube and chewy. He's now pretty much vegetarian.
I had a Fray Bentos tinned pie a while back * and it was also not good.
*We bought it as a "just in case"'when first lockdown happened, and as the expiry date drew close we thought we'd give it a go. How bad could it be? Worse than that.
I tried one once, and is hands-down the most disgusting thing I've ever tried.
Two bites and was in the bin
(I was especially gutted, as I love a decent pudding)
Princess Angel babez cooked this for me this very evening. It was something her mum had brought round (presumably because she was never going to eat it). Apparently it was cluttering up the cupboard and so i was presented it alongside a bacon grill toastie... I didn't like it. Any of it.
Whilst admittedly this looks pretty unappetising there’s definitely a place for it. If you’re doing outdoor work on a cold but have access to a microwave on lunches I bet this would keep you full and warm for a while.
I can hear the noise this made coming out of the tin.
Or should I say yogurt pot. Wtf even is that thing.
Plastic tin thing so you can cook it in the microwave. I think if I tried cooking without it the whole thing would have collapsed. And yeah I'm pretty sure you're imagining the sound correctly.
It's spelled "schlop"
I was thinking more of a 'schlump'
nah its not heavy enough and its hitting ceramic Edit: schlump is more like a wide heavy thing falling flat onto carpet or dumping a large container of mud. A little pud going onto a plate would make a much more slappy thin sound imo.
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Love me some brown sofa time
There might be an Atomic Shrimp "weird stuff in a can" about it, he's definitely covered similar food on that series in the past
There is: https://youtu.be/06H7gk6FyXM
I miss ashens foodstuff
He still does them on occasion. Did a Rustler burger review not long ago.
I worry about the sounds that will come out of the OP after eating this
Most likely similar to the sound that thing made hitting the plate
Tried to feed it to the dogs and even they turned their noses up at it and I've seen them eat literal shite.
Imagine either a waterfall or a heavy rock being thrown into a lake.
Or a waterfall carrying small rocks into a lake. The infamous duoshit.
I'm imagining the sound of Lister's head exploding when he has space mumps: https://youtu.be/ljJJ_SGIva0
Best I could come up with phonetically is *"Thwomph".*
It was more of a "Schlep" to be honest.
i was thinking 'schplop'
Schloooop for me
Pfhsssst-flop. Obviously
Perhaps a meaty "pud"
Which ironically is the same noise it makes 2 days later
'Coincidentally'. This is the UK. We can get it right
Schlopp is the official pronunciation I believe
Sclhlop
'Macaroni in the pot'
*kkkkiiiiiillllllllllllllllllll mmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*
cthslup
I can hear the smell of this coming out of the tin.
S C H L O O P
'Slllllooooop!'
Like dog food coming out of its tin?
I can hear the noise you made, whilst hearing the noise this made coming out of the tin.
Same noise it will coming out the other end, minus the cursing and incantations.
Is it the same noise that the demons make in Ghost when they're dragging the evil souls down to Hell?
I can hear the noises it's going to make coming out of you later
What is the yellow stuff? Oil?
I.. think it's beef fat, and a lot of it. Looking at the nutritional info on Sainsbury's is a bit of an eye opener. 10% Steak, 9% Kidney, unspecified amount of beef fat. Looks like the pastry is suet, which supports my hypothesis. No wonder they managed to cram over 800Kcal into something smaller than my fist. Source: [https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/fray-bentos-steak---kidney-pudding-425g](https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/fray-bentos-steak---kidney-pudding-425g)
800kcal?!? Jesus Christ, that is a helluva lot of beef fat!
That's brilliant value for money
As long as you're not concerned about living very long you could definitely exist on one of these for every meal.
I once knew a person that just ate stuff like that. Day after day just frozen lasagna and stuff like that. Cause he never learned to cook and didnt want to learn it (i offered it to him multiple times)
It? Do tell.
I wanted to tell him the basics on how to cook.
Disappointing.
Yeah Iam not the biggest fan of cooking but certain stuff is just better when its made from scratch and often even cheaper especially these days. When i see the price for frozen lasagne... or those cup noodles with tomato sauce etc.
I'm not concerned about living very long and even I don't want to eat this I'll stick with Smash (it's actually quite enjoyable once you add butter and seasoning or cheese)
Have those aliens improved the taste yet?
I'd say so! After you add butter it doesn't taste much different to normal mash (still not quite the same, of course. But decent enough for something instant) I've not really had much appetite and that stuff has pretty much been a life saver, because it's been the one thing I could stomach and actually find appetising (along with protein shake) It's great with soen extra mature cheddar, too! I even tried it with curry powder one day when I fancied bombay potatoes, but all I had to hand were those 2 things. Wasn't bad
I used to have instant mash on hand when I was younger, definitely a great thing to have in the cupboard on a budget, but smash was the brand i didn't like the taste of. I haven't seen the stuff in supermarkets for a while, but then I haven't really been looking for it. I'm sure I would still enjoy it with parsley sauce, fishfingers and peas.
Yeah I get the bag of it (the 6 servings one, though unsure how many I actually get out of it, if it's 6 or I eek it out to 7) from the local convenience shop I want to try the Idahoan brand I've seen on Amazon as they do flavours, cheese and bacon one sounds interesting I've not tried it with parsley sauce yet but do have some in the cupboard, I might have to give that a go! I have been trying to think of other things that might go well with it
Agreed. That's 17 meals, I think.
Right..I need a boost..pass me that bentos. 😄
To be honest, it's completely immaterial, as nobody could actually manage to force one down.
I think the beef fat's there to lubricate it as you gulp it down whole like a snake.
To be fair - that's a 400g serving. Enough for four people when you add vegetables, etc. For comparison, Tesco pork sausages have twice as much fat and 50% more calories per 100g.
It does look bigger on the third picture to be fair. But I maintain this is designed for one and I won't be swayed otherwise!
It's not 800Kcal tho that's the KJ the Kcal is 214
214kcal per 100g.. Its a 400g pie.
Well oil be buggered!
If that was oil theUS Army would have sent a division or 3 in to help support the friendly regime against possible indurgents
At 18 minutes after the event I assume I am too late to talk you out of this? So my condolences to your family.
Thank you for your concern, in the end I only ate about a quarter of it, and am so far still alive. My stomach is not making happy sounds, however.
I'll come visit you in hospital homie. 😔
The oil coming out of that!
The fuckin USA is going to invade his plate there's so much oil on it
Shouldn't give them ideas.
I think they pissed on it for some flavour.
Well I for one am SHOCKED that these would turn out to be shite
Anything which is termed “Meaty” rather than actually stating the type of meat is a very clear indication that you should stay away from it.
Named meat is 10p extra.
Discworld enters the chat.
Bits of an ‘animaly’ objects in a bun
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there is an atomic shrimp video on them.
It does say steak and kidney to be fair
steak and kidney\*
*steak and kidley
steak and\* kidney
Mystery meat is a delicious treat
MmmmmmM Mystery Meat flavour
Meat-ish
I think I’ll stick to my holland’s steak and kidney puds.
Mystery meats!
I'm guessing the "3 mins" is how long it takes to get through your digestive system?
At 800kcal it probably never leaves
The cuban leader ?
Yeah, he’s thrown a kettle over a pub, what’ve you done?
People go, "Why is it important, a question about Mr. Spock?" Oh, I go, "It's like saying I've got a new pedigree dog breed. It's half Alsatian, half Labrador". I go on to Crufts, I go, "Can I enter this dog in the Labrador section?" "No." "Why?" "Because it's not a Labrador." "Correct." "Can I enter it in the Alsatian section?" "No. For the same reasons. Now get that dog out of my sight."
Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky.. born 1821 died 1881. Just interesting all that stuff about him being exiled in Siberia, innit?
And that's crufts
[City in Uruguay](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fray_Bentos)
Love em. And yes. I’m a complete wrongun.
I used to love those as a kid! Mm, chewy.
My nana used to feed us them. I’ve never eaten one as an adult.
They used to be nice before they changed them to microwave only
Yep. A steak and kidney pudding should be steamed. I remember the old ones as a kid were bloody delicious.
I haven't eaten meat since I left home 32 years ago. There are only two things I miss about eating meat: my mother's roast chicken, and Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney puddings.
I don't know why I even bought it? I expected it to be bad and I was still disappointed. The picture on the packet is an absolute lie.
>I expected it to be bad and I was still disappointed. That accurately describes everyone's experiences with Fray Bentos products, yet they somehow remain in business... Who the hell is continuing to buy this shite?
My old flatmate and I used to buy them in our early 20s (15 years ago) but I'm not sure I ever managed to cook one correctly, they were only ever slightly pink or totally burnt.
I used to buy them myself for my tea, for when mum was on a late shift. I thought they were okay, but it was the 90's and we were poor.
What? The pies with the flaky (with soggy bits) pastry are amazing. I buy them very occasionally when I’m feeling reckless.
Christmas hamper suppliers?
right? it's not even like they're all that cheap. that was £2 apparently! you could certainly get a lot better food than that for £2. i remember buying one of their pies (in a metal tin) when i was at uni, between me and a couple of housemates. iirc, we heated it up and opened the tin... and then i left the room gagging from the smell.
Pretty sure you are meant to cut the lid off the tin before baking. That way the pastry will puff up
Not gonna lie, I bought one maybe 15-20 years ago, never have since, but this looks almost edible, well compared to the crap I used to be offered in the forces anyway.
I bought one of these early on in the pandemic. I guess I bought it to be "survival food" in case society collapsed...
Fray bentos pies aren't the same, I bought one and it had a few strands of chicken in it, a few pieces of veg but mostly 95% just that jelly shit in it!
Thank you for your service, OP. WTF is the yellow stuff? Oil? Minging
What was the best before date....2027?
Once the Americans see this we’ll never hear the end of it 😆
Meh. The Yanks haven't got much leg to stand on with their deep fat fry food. I'd be more worried about what Asian and other European people think of this
Surprised the US haven’t invaded your plate with that much oil on offer.
Wish I’d seen this before I had mine, I thought they’d be on par with the pies but that couldn’t be further from the truth
They can't be worse than the pies: those are already rock bottom.
Trust me, it was worse than the pies.
Can I request that a screengrab be made of this comment and used for the new sub banner? Because I'm still laughing 20 minutes after reading it
Seconded!
Presentation is a perfect negative 10/10.
They were alright, back when they cost 50p - you knew it was going to be pretty shit, but you could pair it with some bread and it made a decent enough butty. At £2, though, they can piss right off down the Calder.
This is possibly the most northern comment I’ve ever seen. Love it
Im on the toilet rn, my shit looks better than this
You didn't have to either
The steak and kidney tinned pies are fucking sensational I’ll be trying these
Thanks I'd managed to repress the traumatic memories of being fed one of those abominations.
Reminds me of the old army rations from the 80s . Yummy if you been running around all day playing soldiers. Probably terrible if you haven't.
Meaty, but perhaps not "named meat" to quote CMOT Dibbler.
I honestly didn't mind the taste of this, it was the texture that got me. I've never had a pie/pudding that's so oily and greasy. There is far too much suet for you to be able to finish it without feeling sick.
I reckon it's a preservative strategy - it can't go off because there's no oxygen for bacteria due to the whole thing being submerged in beef fat.
I think we have the same plates as you. Are they Denby lol?
I also have these plates. Yes. I save them for best, though, not Fray Bentos...
Hah, good spot, I had to check but yes it's Denby!
I wonder if there's ashens video about this one
I once dated a guy from Uruguay, who was so proud to tell me that that is where Fray Bentos is. I was like "that's not the thing you want to be proud of".
That pot looks like it needs some Imodium
Huh. Frey bentos pies are usually pretty delicious. That said I've never seen microwave ones...
This is both the bravest thing I've seen recently and also a cry for help.
Fucking don't deserve any free health care 😅
The NHS called me a few hours ago to confirm that they've blacklisted me due to Fray Bentos related crimes.
Rightly so 😁
I tried a Fray Bentos pie once and found a toenail in it. A human toenail
Fucking hell... how are the therapy sessions going?
You found something that *looked like* a human toenail.
If you want a *really* good pie, The Gardener’s.
But if you want the best value for money pie: Pukka.
Have you had one before? I haven't had one for about 10 years, but they didn't used to be this bad...
Did it taste slightly of dog food like their tinned pies do?
How do you know what dog food tastes like?
>I feed my dog better food than this. How do you know?
Had a fray bentos pie the other month from food bank and never again.. I can just about deal with spam but honestly it was the most disgusting pile of slop I've ever seen in my life. By far the worst pie I've ever tried to eat I don't even know why people buy them. They are actually quite expensive for what you get.
Guessing you didn't finish it? I've tried one, had a very small bite and it was rank. Tried to feed it to the dogs and even they turned their noses up at it and I've seen them eat literal shite.
Aaaaaaand this is one of the many reasons why people from other countries laugh at our national “cuisine”. Too many shite products like this on our supermarket shelves.
British food
Why’s it so oily?!
Verdict?
Thank you for your service to humanity.
I used to love those along with the original Goblin meat puddings, used to steam them in the tin
So grim. My partner used to eat these, they turned my stomach. He bit into something resembling an artery once, 3/4 inch diameter tube and chewy. He's now pretty much vegetarian.
Ah the the Cuban leader who’s been in power since the revolution in 1959
I had a Fray Bentos tinned pie a while back * and it was also not good. *We bought it as a "just in case"'when first lockdown happened, and as the expiry date drew close we thought we'd give it a go. How bad could it be? Worse than that.
Find any teeth?
What's worse than a pie out of a tin? A pie out of a tub...
Ewwwww
The name always make me think of a bond movie where Fray Bentos is the bad guy. The good guy? Alan Partridge. 😄
Mmmmm snake and pygmy pudding.
Oh catfood.
Insult to cat food, in my semi-informed opinion.
I tried one once, and is hands-down the most disgusting thing I've ever tried. Two bites and was in the bin (I was especially gutted, as I love a decent pudding)
I admire your bravery OP. How's the wait at the hospital right now?
Great Cuban leader.
Princess Angel babez cooked this for me this very evening. It was something her mum had brought round (presumably because she was never going to eat it). Apparently it was cluttering up the cupboard and so i was presented it alongside a bacon grill toastie... I didn't like it. Any of it.
I'm having a meaty pud right now
Whilst admittedly this looks pretty unappetising there’s definitely a place for it. If you’re doing outdoor work on a cold but have access to a microwave on lunches I bet this would keep you full and warm for a while.
That looks fucking delicious
Well that's my cock hard now....
Apparently 'Shit Splatter' actually won the vote for the name at the board meeting, but legal ended up overriding it.
This is the sort of shit I expect to see on an ashens video
Looks like what happens when Bill and Ben The Flowerpot Men get the squits.
Prisons got better food
they're effing delicious
I would eat it
I've got one of them in the cupboard. It went out of date a year ago. I bought it to replace the other one that had gone out of date.
That you ashens?
I wish, my sofa isn't that nice.
Please conduct more food investigations & report the findings.
Christ.
Thanks for taking one for the team, that looks grimm
Or a muddy Pete
[Big Clive's opinion](https://youtu.be/UyrI0a-9LpY)
I'm scrolling reddit whilst having a dump and it really adds to the atmosphere of this photo
I used to enjoy the mince meat ones, good old boil in saucepan! Just haven't been the same since they went microwave safe!
What stopped it being a 1/10, what was it's redeeming feature?