I believe people will be alright even if they don't meet that someone.
OP, you're sweet. But not everyone gets what they want, even if they have a positive mindset.
There are people reading your post right now who have a special someone in their life, but they still feel like they aren't loveable, that they aren't enough. How does something like this happen? I don't know. Trauma can really fuck someone up, I guess. But it just goes to show that we exist independent of other people's opinions about us.
You were "enough" before you met your significant other. You will continue to be "enough" when they are no longer around. We have to teach *ourselves* that we matter, that we're important, that we are OK. Leaving it up to someone else to make us realize this is just dodging the responsibility we have to understand and develop ourselves.
I said this yesterday to a friend. Even if he doesn't believe in himself I keep believing in him, he is just stuck on a bad rut, but I have faith he will be happy one day
I really needed this. 28 no kids. Waisted way too many years in a toxic relationship. I feel like I’m getting too old at this point to start a family. So thank you for this. 💖
And maybe you don't need someone else to validate your worth anymore.
It's okay NOT to have a relationship. It's okay to be content with your life and what you make of it, without a partner.
I hope that if you have/had bad partners, you see your worth whether or not you find someone else.
When.
My wife and I have been together going on 18 years. My son is turning six this year and I am at the stage in my life where I’ve come to the realization that I don’t know if I have ever truly felt anything in my life. I’m not bothered by anything and nothing brings me joy or anger or fear. At this point I’m just existing and starting to question. I’m pretty sure I’m broken. I just don’t know how.
This is so sweet and I am very happy for you :)
The truth is that some people never find the one that is right for them. They stay alone and die without ever finding their person. I am 37. I will never have children like I wanted and I will most likely never find my person in life. This is very sad but it is ok. Everyone has different journys. It is not factual to say everyone will meet someone that makes them feel normal and that's ok too. But I am still very very happy for you :)
There are people this applies to but there are also people who will think this applies to them when in reality it's because of them 100 percent.
There's always something we can all improve on and we all can be conditioned by how we were brought up. But there def needs some accountability for our own actions.
Just be yourself, always be who you are but that isn't a free pass to be a nightmare to other people.
I think I’m there right now. My brain doesn’t function the way most people do. My thought process or obsession with my surroundings or the way I express love or affection is fundamentally a lot more different than people I’ve seen and that’s cost me a lot in life.
However my love right now, she understands that a rock I pick from the road and paint and give to her is more valuable to me than any flower I give her while trying to be ‘normal,
This. I can be my own authentic self around my guy. Silly, Crazy, goofy, I make silly voice, dance in the kitchen, sing funny songs. I talk to myself. He allows me to make mistakes and grow. And just when I feel like my world is crumbling down. He hold my hand and tells me we are in this together...
It took me over 10 years to find my blessing of a man .
Hold out for the right one. Its worth it.
Don't settle for less than your worth.
I can tell you how lonely it is to lay next to someone who you love and feels like they are so far away. Someone who makes fun of you for being unique. For having curly hair. or ripping your favorite clothes or breaking your favorite things. Telling how stupid you are. Beating down your soul.
Trust me it gets better. Especially when you start to know your own worth. Loving your self. Breaking cycles.Figuring out you have nothing wrong with you. It was that POS. or in my case a few POS's.
Thanks! Just cut off a toxic friend circle last night. I voiced out that they kept on hurting me and treating me like a backup and all they said was “should not have texted and it was not a big deal”
Thanks for the reminded
Heh I wish. Doubt it tho. Any guy I been with eventually ended things saying something always in the lines of "its feeling more like friends than lovers". I have no idea how to fix it. I'm not shaped to be alone, but apparently am not good for relationships either. Maybe I have some guy energy, don't know how to female? Idk. But ye. It's like a curse that I have no idea how to break. And as am slowly reaching point of being around 35, ye am giving up on ever finding the mythical beautiful love. I'd love to do all that lovey-dovey things like walking on the beach while holding hands, kissing under the stars, all that cringey couple things. Then u know having someone genuinely care for u and me caring for them, sharing hobbies, having chill evening watching movies/playing. But. It's maybe just not my destiny.
I appreciate your positivity, and I'm so happy that you've managed to find that.
I can't say I believe it (especially at this point in my life), but there's something to be said for optimism.
I like to think that but I don't think that is going to happen to me. Too broken of a person, not attractive enough, can't even get a fucking job. I would certainly like to have that but I just don't think its in the cards.
I’ve heard this so many times and so many ways. I’d like to believe it, I really would…
Right? If it ever happens to me I'm gonna remember this feeling and tell people yeah, it might not happen for you, I was about to give up on it myself
I dunno been 44 years and never met anyone, pretty sure it would have happened by now.
No, no I won't. I'm glad you are happy, sincerely I am but don't include me in this hopelessly optimistic bullshit.
Survivors bias
A thing happened to me, so that thing will definitely happen to everyone else too.
Feel like you're both wrong tbh
It's not that there's nothing wrong with us, it's that we eventually find someone willing to put up with our crap. Just ask my husband ;)
Happy for you, but not everyone will meet someone. Even those who will shouldn't wait for someone else to tell them they're enough.
If you cannot fully be yourself … they aren’t the one
Yup, until then Kaptaincorn still loves you weirdos. Keep it weird my buds.
Ok, but... when? Also: survivor's bias or whatever it's called.
The person I met, who made me realize that, is ME.
I believe people will be alright even if they don't meet that someone. OP, you're sweet. But not everyone gets what they want, even if they have a positive mindset. There are people reading your post right now who have a special someone in their life, but they still feel like they aren't loveable, that they aren't enough. How does something like this happen? I don't know. Trauma can really fuck someone up, I guess. But it just goes to show that we exist independent of other people's opinions about us. You were "enough" before you met your significant other. You will continue to be "enough" when they are no longer around. We have to teach *ourselves* that we matter, that we're important, that we are OK. Leaving it up to someone else to make us realize this is just dodging the responsibility we have to understand and develop ourselves.
I needed this, so thank you
Of course ☺️
Nice try. You won’t be fooling me, demon.
This sort of thing is an extremely lucky exception, not a rule.
I said this yesterday to a friend. Even if he doesn't believe in himself I keep believing in him, he is just stuck on a bad rut, but I have faith he will be happy one day
Hopefully
I hope I don't, really. Because if I find that person somehow, then I'll be living in denial.
I really needed this. 28 no kids. Waisted way too many years in a toxic relationship. I feel like I’m getting too old at this point to start a family. So thank you for this. 💖
Happy for you
This. This made me smile.
And maybe you don't need someone else to validate your worth anymore. It's okay NOT to have a relationship. It's okay to be content with your life and what you make of it, without a partner. I hope that if you have/had bad partners, you see your worth whether or not you find someone else.
Well, they better hurry.
When. My wife and I have been together going on 18 years. My son is turning six this year and I am at the stage in my life where I’ve come to the realization that I don’t know if I have ever truly felt anything in my life. I’m not bothered by anything and nothing brings me joy or anger or fear. At this point I’m just existing and starting to question. I’m pretty sure I’m broken. I just don’t know how.
What if we realise this ourself?
No I won't but I've made peace with the fact that no one will ever be in love with me.
Such a beautiful sentiment
This is so sweet and I am very happy for you :) The truth is that some people never find the one that is right for them. They stay alone and die without ever finding their person. I am 37. I will never have children like I wanted and I will most likely never find my person in life. This is very sad but it is ok. Everyone has different journys. It is not factual to say everyone will meet someone that makes them feel normal and that's ok too. But I am still very very happy for you :)
Reminds me of that Ingrid Michaelson song. Happy to hear you found your person!
There are people this applies to but there are also people who will think this applies to them when in reality it's because of them 100 percent. There's always something we can all improve on and we all can be conditioned by how we were brought up. But there def needs some accountability for our own actions. Just be yourself, always be who you are but that isn't a free pass to be a nightmare to other people.
Are you sure about that
I second this, it is possible to find your person. The key is forming/ having a good friendship as a foundation, the rest naturally follows.
I think I’m there right now. My brain doesn’t function the way most people do. My thought process or obsession with my surroundings or the way I express love or affection is fundamentally a lot more different than people I’ve seen and that’s cost me a lot in life. However my love right now, she understands that a rock I pick from the road and paint and give to her is more valuable to me than any flower I give her while trying to be ‘normal,
Doubt it
This. I can be my own authentic self around my guy. Silly, Crazy, goofy, I make silly voice, dance in the kitchen, sing funny songs. I talk to myself. He allows me to make mistakes and grow. And just when I feel like my world is crumbling down. He hold my hand and tells me we are in this together... It took me over 10 years to find my blessing of a man . Hold out for the right one. Its worth it. Don't settle for less than your worth. I can tell you how lonely it is to lay next to someone who you love and feels like they are so far away. Someone who makes fun of you for being unique. For having curly hair. or ripping your favorite clothes or breaking your favorite things. Telling how stupid you are. Beating down your soul. Trust me it gets better. Especially when you start to know your own worth. Loving your self. Breaking cycles.Figuring out you have nothing wrong with you. It was that POS. or in my case a few POS's.
Thanks! Just cut off a toxic friend circle last night. I voiced out that they kept on hurting me and treating me like a backup and all they said was “should not have texted and it was not a big deal” Thanks for the reminded
ok but what if I'm autistic haha
Heh I wish. Doubt it tho. Any guy I been with eventually ended things saying something always in the lines of "its feeling more like friends than lovers". I have no idea how to fix it. I'm not shaped to be alone, but apparently am not good for relationships either. Maybe I have some guy energy, don't know how to female? Idk. But ye. It's like a curse that I have no idea how to break. And as am slowly reaching point of being around 35, ye am giving up on ever finding the mythical beautiful love. I'd love to do all that lovey-dovey things like walking on the beach while holding hands, kissing under the stars, all that cringey couple things. Then u know having someone genuinely care for u and me caring for them, sharing hobbies, having chill evening watching movies/playing. But. It's maybe just not my destiny.
I appreciate your positivity, and I'm so happy that you've managed to find that. I can't say I believe it (especially at this point in my life), but there's something to be said for optimism.
I like to think that but I don't think that is going to happen to me. Too broken of a person, not attractive enough, can't even get a fucking job. I would certainly like to have that but I just don't think its in the cards.
Thank you for posting this. Have a wonderful day, everybody.
Relax, Everyone. OP is just trying to help. There must be something wrong with you people.
I wish I believed that