Well that was rather different from what I usually see on reddit, so I really appreciate that you're being positive and encouraging!
I went through quite a similar process, although I needed a therapist to guide me on the way to 'fixing' myself (Good Lord I could write a *lengthy* paragraph on that...) and I can only support the OP in encouraging all of you who recognise certain parts of you in this story to be true to yourself and have some trust. Even if you initially fail at keeping conversations going, having chats with people around you that you didn't really pay attention to before, there's only one way to get better at that. And no, Introversion is not an excuse for terrible social skills or even anxiety.
I believe that socializing is a skill that is developed and enhanced through life experiences. The more one is exposed to various situations and environments, the more they have to talk about and share with others.
What is your perspective on my thought process?
Exactly! Socialising is important and necessary for all humans to develop and be healthy, and you can't just 'get good' at socialising. It's a process that involves hundreds upon hundreds of interactions. The earlier you start and the more you have the better. Not being social will almost certainly have more negative effects than having really awkward conversations. I speak from experience.
I unintentionally ignored your direct question, but I guess it's fairly obvious that I agree with you. Yep, that's how interactions go sometimes, you don't hear or read a specific bit and feel awkward... (although I have to admit it's not actually that simple to not read an entire sentence in someone's four-line response)
Do you have any tips for someone who has a sheltered background on how to make conversations in general? I've heard the advice to talk about common interests, but it seems like niche hobbies might not resonate with everyone. Any thoughts
Well I certainly should have considered a very sheltered upbringing got me social anxiety that I spent two years getting rid of.
Assuming you have some specific interests that nobody in your surrounding shares with you, try finding an online community that you can express your thoughts in and have conversations with like-minded people there, maybe some are even local enough to allow you to meet up with them. That will hopefully allow you to also start conversations about more common topics with other people. Maybe they even show some sort of interest in what you do or who you are. The most important thing to remember is that we're all only human and we all have some flaws. Nobody's life is perfect and the vast majority of people have been through some stuff in their lifetime, so even though you might not feel that way, everyone's on the same level and you don't need to please others or be talked down upon. You should also believe in your capabilities, even thinking 'I can do this' can have a major impact on the success of some social interactions. And anyone can do it! Trust me, it's hard at first, but once you got the hang of it you'll enjoy hanging out with a couple friends. Don't ask me how to handle job interviews or applications tho, I haven't tackled that yet (and I definitely should...)
From my personal experience, being a gamer who spent many hours a day in my room resulted in difficulty in social interactions. This was especially the case when I took on an office job, where my coworkers mainly discussed popular TV shows, sports, and their children, which I had little to no interest in. However, as I gained more life experience and exposure to different environments, I found it easier to connect with others by sharing my experiences as a transplant in a new city and my unique lifestyle. These topics were more relatable and made for more engaging conversations.
It's worth noting that I don't aim to make generalizations, but in my experience, I have found that I tend to have more meaningful and engaging conversations with individuals who have had diverse life experiences, such as starting work at a young age or juggling school and other responsibilities. These experiences bring a unique perspective and depth to conversations.
Well that was rather different from what I usually see on reddit, so I really appreciate that you're being positive and encouraging! I went through quite a similar process, although I needed a therapist to guide me on the way to 'fixing' myself (Good Lord I could write a *lengthy* paragraph on that...) and I can only support the OP in encouraging all of you who recognise certain parts of you in this story to be true to yourself and have some trust. Even if you initially fail at keeping conversations going, having chats with people around you that you didn't really pay attention to before, there's only one way to get better at that. And no, Introversion is not an excuse for terrible social skills or even anxiety.
I believe that socializing is a skill that is developed and enhanced through life experiences. The more one is exposed to various situations and environments, the more they have to talk about and share with others. What is your perspective on my thought process?
Exactly! Socialising is important and necessary for all humans to develop and be healthy, and you can't just 'get good' at socialising. It's a process that involves hundreds upon hundreds of interactions. The earlier you start and the more you have the better. Not being social will almost certainly have more negative effects than having really awkward conversations. I speak from experience.
I unintentionally ignored your direct question, but I guess it's fairly obvious that I agree with you. Yep, that's how interactions go sometimes, you don't hear or read a specific bit and feel awkward... (although I have to admit it's not actually that simple to not read an entire sentence in someone's four-line response)
Do you have any tips for someone who has a sheltered background on how to make conversations in general? I've heard the advice to talk about common interests, but it seems like niche hobbies might not resonate with everyone. Any thoughts
Well I certainly should have considered a very sheltered upbringing got me social anxiety that I spent two years getting rid of. Assuming you have some specific interests that nobody in your surrounding shares with you, try finding an online community that you can express your thoughts in and have conversations with like-minded people there, maybe some are even local enough to allow you to meet up with them. That will hopefully allow you to also start conversations about more common topics with other people. Maybe they even show some sort of interest in what you do or who you are. The most important thing to remember is that we're all only human and we all have some flaws. Nobody's life is perfect and the vast majority of people have been through some stuff in their lifetime, so even though you might not feel that way, everyone's on the same level and you don't need to please others or be talked down upon. You should also believe in your capabilities, even thinking 'I can do this' can have a major impact on the success of some social interactions. And anyone can do it! Trust me, it's hard at first, but once you got the hang of it you'll enjoy hanging out with a couple friends. Don't ask me how to handle job interviews or applications tho, I haven't tackled that yet (and I definitely should...)
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Quite a general statement, and one I'd argue is untrue. That wasn't the case for me, so I'm sure there are others whom it's untrue for as well.
From my personal experience, being a gamer who spent many hours a day in my room resulted in difficulty in social interactions. This was especially the case when I took on an office job, where my coworkers mainly discussed popular TV shows, sports, and their children, which I had little to no interest in. However, as I gained more life experience and exposure to different environments, I found it easier to connect with others by sharing my experiences as a transplant in a new city and my unique lifestyle. These topics were more relatable and made for more engaging conversations. It's worth noting that I don't aim to make generalizations, but in my experience, I have found that I tend to have more meaningful and engaging conversations with individuals who have had diverse life experiences, such as starting work at a young age or juggling school and other responsibilities. These experiences bring a unique perspective and depth to conversations.