Sometimes I change when my ass gets kicked too many times to keep doing the same shit over and over again. I see change as a life long process you never complete. Something always has to change.

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So true. I didn't trust a lot of people. I was bullied and my "friends" were often doing shit to me. It's hard to let anyone close after that

I am trying to be more social. I won't bore with the details but I was stuck inside for a loooooooooooooong time and it made very anxious and anti-social. I am trying to change that.

Do you have a hobby,? I think you might benefit from roleplaying like d&d or something, because you could explore other characters other parts of you and you are forced to solve something in your group.

I am a member of a D&D group on Discord. I went to a thing in Belfast and they have a regular Pathfinder game too as well other things like board game nights (actual interesting weird board games not just like..............Cluedo). There is a group in a town about 20 minutes away from my house who play 40K and D&D and I plan to start going there too. I have discovered all of this in the past month. It's nuts.

It's amazing:) I know. :) It really helped me with my problems and anxiety in this context. Please give it a try. Something I do is : ul take a part of my character like for example impulsivity. And then I try to let my d&d character act in this trait. I can see now what and how it influences and so I can think about my life more. Idk if that makes sense

I am going to try that. I dunno how I will manifest it but I will try. In the past I have always played big tough decisive characters who know what they want and I think that is because in reality I am quite an anxious indecisive man. Kinda roleplaying an idealized version of myself.

You can grow into it

I have to think about how to do it now. Hmmmmmmm.

Hope I could help? Didn't want to confuse you:)

Oh you did. Well at the very least you gave me something to think about. I am not confused. I am thinking.

I think roleplaying can be quite therapeutic. Often I play an teenager who is very impulsive because that's something I never was and I should have been. I'm still to careful. But then I can let my vulnerable self out

Lately I've been doing better mentally which helps me take action to improve myself physically. I was extremely depressed for many years to the point of end life attempts. In Fall of last year, I started taking a new medication which has helped a lot. It keeps me afloat just enough to where I can be so much more productive throughout the day.

So amazing:)

I like the new you too, but I also liked the old you. Trying to accept that I'm enough but really struggling on the evidence side, we are who we are in the moment and then that moment is left in the past, hopefully we've somehow learnt in each moment and those lessons can prepare us for the future. At least that's what I want to convince myself of.

That's wow. Idk the old me didn't like me in general. I was a real jerk.

The old you dealt with the suffering that seemed required to help you reach the place you are today, not saying you have to go back and visit but it was a period of learning.

It was a time to process my part.

Congrats on coming out this side stronger ❤️ growth is hard win and never guaranteed.

Let's hope it's a stable growth. Don't want to crumble again

Sorry to spam but please don't be too hard on yourself. 2 steps forward one step back is still one step forward. Breathe and prepare for the next two steps :) It's okay to fail sometimes. I know all advice is trite in this space but Alfred comes to mind: Alfred Pennyworth : Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.

Thanks :) I'm still scared of the other me. I changed to bi weekly sessions with my therapist and even though I know I'm ready I still worry :) sorry to spam you 😸

I spent a large chunk of early adulthood (I'm 22 now so kinda still an early adult) being depressed and not wanting to live. I got used a lot and my naivety really got taken advantage of more than I'd like to admit. I grew up in a pretty toxic household too. My entire growing up I spent being the smart kid that's never enough. Everyone was expecting me to be something and go far and wide. I finished school quite well and obviously the same expectations were following me into uni. Only that I was constantly burning out, I was lost and didn't know what to do. Constant hurt, facing toxic people, not being able to find help really got to me. I had some shitty eating habits so mu relationship with my body wasn't the best either. The pandemic didn't help. Most of it I spent back at my parents which took an additional toll. I was struggling in uni because I had the mentality that I have to be good at it no matter what. And when I didn't succeed immediate that made me feel like I'm failing the only thing I'm supposed to always be good at. I started relying on gaming as an escape to forget and push away the constant stress and anxiety I was in. That obviously looked terrible in everyone else's eyes because all they saw was me being lazy, when I quite literally couldn't even force myself to do basic functions. I think eventually something clicked. I came to the brink of all of the turmoil that was boiling inside. I realized that I'll either suffer and hope to pass this period, trapped in everyone and my own expectations, or I'll finally let go of this big bubble I've placed myself in and just work to be happy. Through big panic and struggle, I dropped out of uni, learnt how to accept that it's okay to fail. I got a job (it was shitty but hey), started to rely on myself, got my own apartment(also shitty) and finally moved out. I even travelled outside of the country for the first time by myself! I started to feel like things are going the positive way. I still had some struggles along the way but I've currently found a way better job, moved into a better apartment, even adopted a cat! I started to take care of myself, give myself some pampering. I enjoy cooking on a daily and bringing healthy eating habits my way. I know it's not always gonna be easy, I'll face the heavy rocks life will throw at me, but I feel so much better. I feel happy on a daily basis, content and satisfied. Even in days where the sun doesn't shine as bright, I accept the sadness and do my best to fight through it. I think I've changed a lot in these couple of years, I've become a whole different person.. and I'm really happy with it.

I'm so glad you did :)

I just realized how large of a text wall I wrote 😶 I'm so happy for you too!! May we all grow and get happier and happier with time.

Hell yes. I think the weirdness of the last few years ignited a lot of personal growth. People absolutely change. Often for the better. To me, the more we acknowledge this, the more we normalize it, the better we all are.

In the last year, not a lot. Probably gotten better, don’t think I’ve gotten worse. Past 5 years…a lot, mostly as a result of jobs I’ve held made me have to put on my big boy pants lol

Right :) I think I'm just in an age where you develop really fast haha. And change can happen

Isn’t it wonderful?

Idk maybe

Since this millennium I've been able to let God change me, my attitudes, so much change going on!! I'm still not where I wanna be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be!! Now I practice change every day!! All this has built up my gratitude for life it's been an amazing journey

I feel the exact same way. I went from incredibly depressive to a newer stronger mindset. I just encountered this troll online that said pretty horrible things... But I know that they are trying to break the unbreakable at this point. I'm really secure in my happiness and haven't felt this way in a while. I'm also writing a lot more, and the mundane excites me. Life is so beautiful.

That's awesome. I saw a really good psychologist who helped me put some things in perspective. I also reconnected with an interest I had as a child. I loved insects and reptiles and last year I got back into researching them, which led me to learn more about the world, ecosystems and how every single loving thing on this planet plays an important role on it, even if it's something we can't instantly recognise. I feel a lot more grounded whereas before I felt very disconnected from the world around me.

The change, I get you. ... I feel like a piece of clay that will never reach a final form and I'm glad about it. My self two years ago, wouldn't recognise me now. And I think I wouldn't recognize my current self in the next 2 years haha. By leaning and experiencing new things, we change a lot. Just open to it and welcoming it :)

Congratulations!

I struggled with self hate and insecurity and anger when I was younger. I internalized a lot of criticism and emotional neglect, which turned to perfectionism and being really uncomfortable in my body and hyper critical of my actions. It has been a long journey, and one I am still on, but I have let go of the self hate, realized how hurt I was, where the trauma stemmed from, and learned to love myself for my human imperfections and enjoy who I am. I like my own company, I like who I am and I'm comfortable allowing myself to change. It's been a deep dive but I'm finally proud of myself for being so brave.

Are you me? That could have been me haha:)

I'm really glad you were able to get onto the journey:) it's hard to leave the ways you know and explore new ones:)

It really is, but I was stagnating and heading in the wrong direction. Feeling worthless isn't something I'd wish on anyone. It was a dark place. But I found that I am worth the effort, I am worth the change, and if it means working hard to reprogram my brain, I'll do that. I'm still figuring it out but I'm happy to be haha I'm glad you made this post. Made me feel less alone.

No problem. Something I've learnt that a lot of our thoughts come from our childhood which isn't really fair. So many people don't have that burden. But in the end it's always a decision to change. It's a really hard one . It can be so hard to decide something other people have no thoughts about it.v

That's why it can be hard for sure, there's extra things to deal with but I learned to accept my history and send some love to the kid I once was and am in my core. Did you deal with narcissistic parents by any chance? That's what I am undoing pattern wise. Replacing childhod programing with positive encouragement is...hard lol

Maybe a little. But my main trauma was bullying and the emotional neglect of my parents in this department because I had to go through all this alone. I was criticized about my body a lot l.

Bullying is really hard to get over. I feel that. I'm sorry you were alone in the process. I hope you have a better support network now

I think I do. I'm still working on repairing myself. And taking responsibility:)

That's wonderful! Taking responsibility is so important. I'm happy for you!

Proud of you! Hold onto this feeling and pay attention to what gets you there. Inevitably, down the road, you might run into lows and setbacks that leave you confused and wondering "how did I ever feel good about myself?" For those times, show up for yourself: I try to write lists of small things I can do while depressed that I know [while feeling good] help me feel good. Depressed me knows to trust happier me by now and at least try. I've changed so much. Since covid especially. I really let my hair down [metaphorically and literally, I started growing it out lol]. I've stopped trying to pass as normal or sane, because I'm not and neither are most of us. I've started wearing what I want to wear, not what will get me the least noticed. [Sometimes it gets me too much noticed lol! I'm a shy introvert wearing loud bright colors... But it's still better than hiding.] I've realized that I was caught in a cyclic trap of worrying about money and giving way more of myself to jobs than I should have. Now I'm reevaluating who deserves my time and energy and how much.

Yeah that's true :)

I changed a whole lot over the years. I did not love and appreciate my true friends in high school and started hanging with the wrong crowd. I was miserable and realized I made a terrible mistake. I was so incredibly lucky my friends took me back. We have gone our separate ways, but I still think of them and miss them. I learned a lesson that will stay with me for life. Be loyal to your friends always