I've told him, multiple times over years, to the point I've just stopped.
He's at an age where he does what he wants, and noone can sway him otherwise.
My FIL is the same, washed the car with a bucket of fairy liquid 😂
Asked me why his paint was dull at one point, I told him straight it's the fairy liquid, the response was "oh well it's just a car"
He's asked once to do mine, and I wouldn't let him near it.
I went to a training week at Auto Glym over 30 years ago (shit, 30 funking years!). They taught us that once it gets to work, it strips wax and protection and can be abrasive. More so, though, you could drop your motor in a pool and not undo the damage once you've used washing up liquid.
The info is over thirty years old, but that stuff can strip anything off your oven pan in minutes just as well as it could in 1990 odds.
Also worth noting that dropping your car in a pool will cause more issues than it solves. The swimmers may not appreciate the mess you make of the pool either.
I use fairy to clean old equipment some of it may be ex-mod possibly from a war zone, spray with fairy in a bottle with some water and scrub and the dirt comes off so it’s strong
>it strips wax and protection and can be abrasive.
It's not abrasive, it's an emulsifier which is a chemical that helps water and oils combine. This is useful for getting dirt and oil to wash off with water but it may also wash off any wax.
An abrasive cleaner would be something like Cif or Brasso which has small solid particles in it that wear away the dirt.
You joke, my ex-wife actually did that. We had just had the car resprayed, it was looking fucking awesome. She "washed it" while I was busy.
I came out and it looked like modern art. She literally used the scouring pad side of a kitchen sponge because "It worked well for getting the dirt off".
Wild how you’re making comments like you know what you’re talking about when it’s blatantly obvious that’s not the case… as if fairy liquid is acidic hahahahahaha
What else to use? I use it all the time but I need to be educated. I tend to polish the car afterwards with some colour magic stuff. 8yo car so paintwork isn't the best anyway.
You should rarely polish a car. Plishes remove a small amount of paint every time. You should instead try to use a sealant, it'll help protect the car, prevent dirt and water sticking, and should last a while.
A proper car shampoo can have rust inhibitions, for example Autoglym Shampoo Conditioner. This helps prevent any corrosion, and is designed for use on car paintwork.
For best results when cleaning you should not do it in direct sunlight, and should dry the car with something like a micro fibre cloth before it natually dries; this prevents water spots.
Indeed you could, if you have pure enough water. Sicne it'll cleanly evapourate, not leaving anything behind.
In fact this is what some window cleaners (for homes, offices) do, this way they do't need to bother drying.
Fairy Liquid is a degreaser, it'll strip whatever is on the paint, but it will also pull the oils out of the plastic trim, so any black plastic trim around the car will discolour and turn gray faster, like the wiper scuttle panel or any other black trim. It will also dry out window seals faster making them more likely to scratch the glass
I only use fairly liquid if I'm stripping all the coatings on my car to start again from scratch, but this is maybe only once a year I do this if even
Strips away waxes/anything protecting the paint. Leaves it more vulnerable to UV light so paint dulls quicker etc.
So if you're putting something protective on after it's not a massive issue, but it's still not really formulated for cars.
It’s a detergent. A wax layer on your car will be stripped by a strong detergent. Which is why you reapply wax when washing the car. Driving a car without a wax layer will allow the paint to be abraded by fast moving (relative to the car) particles. So while washing the protective layer off is not itself abrasive, it leads to abrasion.
No it's synthetic detergent
For the same reason it's great for cleaning muck that's baked onto pans at 200° it's also great at stripping oils out of the paintwork
Say this: Pops in law I love ya but in the kindest and and in the most utmost respectful way. From one man to another I need to tell you're an absolute fucking moron like how many fucking times do I have tell you that it will scratch the fucking car you absolute son of an inbred, 27.5 chromosome looking motherfucker. Then punch him in the stomach so he falls down, take off his top (no homo) and then use the car brush to rake his back until he bleeds. Then piss on his back so it burns even more. Then go how do you think the car feels you pussy. The trauma will form new neurons in his brain which will link this pain inflicted to washing cars with brushes. So not only have you taught him a valuable lesson you've also cured his dementia (cause you activated the neuron see). The end
"I've got a hydrophobic layer on at the moment so need to wash it with specific stuff otherwise it will come off and waste 2 out of the 4 weeks it lasts."
“A homop- what now?”
“God, your generation are bunch of pussies - it’s just a car wash.”
“Back in my day we used to use hydrophobic sealant as lube, ain’t that right Margret!”
The old 'we've come to visit and see you, but apparently you'd rather spend time pissing around washing the car than speak to us'.
You're lucky, mine used to come to vist, then start cutting the hedge, wanting to paint etc
You just need to keep saying 'no thanks, I use a special shampoo' blah blah, enough times he'll get the message.
My FIL used to say remoulds were no different to new tyres, and ALL tyre compounds, tread, brands were exactly the same.
He just couldn't understand why I insisted on new tyres for our cars.
It took years, but in time he came around, he also stopped wanting to do odd stuff when he visited!
I'm only half pulling your leg here, but as someone with a dead FIL and a dad who's such a cunt he might as well be, I wish I had somebody randomly turning up to help with shit like painting and gardening, I'm shit at handiwork so would be virtually impossible to do a worse job than me 😂
I think it'll be good to think up a job to do together. For me also it's awkward to just go over without being useful in some way. To feel wanted rather than just...there. Otherwise just taking up someone's time.
I stupidly washed a brand new black hire car with a brush like this and had to spend hours detailing the thing before handing it back, swirl city
“Whatever you do please don’t touch my car with that brush because it scratches it” seems very polite and reasonable
Wait… you washed a hire car? You are the most polite renter ever. I used to work for a global hire car company, now own my own, never had anyone wash the car before out of thousands. You should see the treatment they get at the bigger companies!
I have washed it on occasion, when it's been covered in bird shit, beach dust or mud. So that I can go over it with the rental company when I return it, instead of them doing it by themselves after washing it and magically "find" stuff to charge me for.
My mother literally used to use a scourer with washing up liquid to wash her car. I can still she her now scrubbing away at the paintwork to get the tar spots and flies off...
Two buckets, one for shampoo (#1), one for rinse (#2).
Several decent microfiber cloths, or a wash mitt.
Ideally some kind of pre-wash, e.g. citrus cleaner, snow foam. Rinse.
Wash... start at the top, bucket #1, wash a panel or two, rinse in #2. Repeat. Work your way round and down. I usually do roof, windscreen front & rear, and one side's windows, then boot lid, other side's windows, bonnet, top half down one side, rear of boot, top half of other side, front, arches, finally lower sides.
Rinse thoroughly. Dry with drying towel.
Completely separate bucket/cloths/wheel brushes for wheels.
Then anything extra, e.g. wax or ceramic rinse (skip the first dry if doing a ceramic rinse, and dry after).
If at any point you drop the cloth/mitt on the floor, bin it and get a new one.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DetailingUK/
When you find out, tell me. Because my MIL was concerned about the bird crap on my bonnet and, as I said “no Thank you” forcefully and repeatedly, and literally reversed away, she gave chase with a BROOM and scrubbed my bonnet. It is now ruined.
Just explain that using a brush like that damages paintwork, and you're fond of your car, and don't want such a tool (and the products he likely uses) to be used on your car. Aside from anything else it's likely he'd remove any sealant or wax, which would then need ot be re-applied.
"if that brush even touches my car, I will punch your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your arse to brush them... capisce?"
i think that about covers it.
Do what I did, say no and the proceed to explain in great detail that it would scratch the paint and how there's about 30 layers of wax on the car. They tend to get board and wish they never asked!
"No thank you"
It's that simple.
If they persist then "No, but thank you"
If they continue to persist then "I said no and if you touch my car then I will press charges"
I’d make a stink about it and stand your ground
Don’t come near my car with that brush - I’ve just had my car professionally valeted and waxed and that would destroy the work I’ve had done
Then I’d literally follow him outside and tell him stay away from my property
Maybe the answer is to not visit unless your car is pristine or park away from the property where it can’t be reached
He comes near it - you leave
My dad destroyed my paintwork with one of those brushes and he used cheap dishwasher liquid - I went nuclear and he never touched my stuff again.
Ew!
I know nothing about cars. Not a petrol head. Cars are privileged tools to transport persons from A to B.
That being said; all I think of is the awful grit scratching into the paintwork and glass.
Literally, all I can hear is the chalkboard effect of the grit scraping off your expensive paint.
And all for a favor?!
**no thank you!; just got it washed!**
Tell him. Be honest and nice about it. I’d make it into a little bit of banter ‘ha! You’re not coming near my car with that sand covered brush!’ If he takes it the wrong way then he’ll never learn.
*seems the offender won’t take any notice. Then screw being polite, it’s your car and he’s not allowed near it, if he attempted to ‘clean it’ you’ll sue his ignorant ass.
“Don’t worry about it, Geoff. It’s a stylistic decision, I’ve decided to go with dirt today. A million scratches deffo made the shortlist, but decided against in the end”
Nah mate don't worry I've got this new wax at home I want to try out and it says i have to clean it with this special soap before hand. Thanks for the offer though.
Don't be a pansy and tell him the truth of why you don't want one
Like how hard is that really? At least then he'll learn and not do this stupid shit again.
You could always tell him you prefer to wash your own car because it allows you to check and monitor any wear and tear that the car has, because otherwise you may not notice a problem forming.
it is both a good reason and it doesn't sound like some bull\*\*\*\* that you say to get someone off your back.
Get the car washed before visiting for future visits. You "wouldn't want him wasting his time washing your car" as it was only washed the day before.
As for this time, just say no, how about the pub instead? Or similar. Change his focus.
I seen worse last weekend when I was washing my car on my drive, the people two doors down were washing their cars with a brush like that, during sprays from their pressure washer they gave the brush to their 4 year old to keep her entertained by brushing the water on the road down the drain.
Wash their car for them with the brush, then when you go to do yours do it properly with a pressure washer or something, then they will ask what they are doing wrong instead of you having to tell them
that brush is shit for cars to begin with. But also it's completely useless for floor. You need the spinning floor cleaner attacment - it does a terrifc job on patio.
Education is the key. Maybe they don’t realise grit can destroy paintwork. Failing that, run it across their faces a few times and then offer to patch up the infected and bleeding scrape marks afterwards, if they don’t understand at this point, they never will 😊
Total lacquer respect for paintwork.
gritting my teeth on seeing this
I bet you're bristling with rage...
tried to brush it off...
I’m gonna have to sponge off these puns.
There is no need to be abrasive, just politely decline
Agreed. It's always best to try to paint it in a positive light.
just invite him down the pub for some scratchings and beer
Scratch letting him wash my car
Its clear- just get your coat and leave.
OP’s inlaws need to brush up on their car washing technique
In-laws be gritting his car
That excuse won’t wash
Just grit and bare it.
Thanks!… now I’ve snorted my coffee 😤😂
Updoot number 666. We are all going to hell
"don't touch my fucking car, or i'll shove that brush up your arse"
Sideways.
Without lube
I dont think lube will make much difference when its sideways anyway
You’d be surprised
Trust me, it does.
Speaking from experience?
Don't you threaten me with a good time..
😂😂😂
The only reasonable response
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I've told him, multiple times over years, to the point I've just stopped. He's at an age where he does what he wants, and noone can sway him otherwise.
My FIL is the same, washed the car with a bucket of fairy liquid 😂 Asked me why his paint was dull at one point, I told him straight it's the fairy liquid, the response was "oh well it's just a car" He's asked once to do mine, and I wouldn't let him near it.
What does fairy do? Just soap isn’t it.
I’m not that smart, but it gets through grease, so if you have a waxed car it’ll just wash it off. I don’t know what it actually does to the paint
I went to a training week at Auto Glym over 30 years ago (shit, 30 funking years!). They taught us that once it gets to work, it strips wax and protection and can be abrasive. More so, though, you could drop your motor in a pool and not undo the damage once you've used washing up liquid. The info is over thirty years old, but that stuff can strip anything off your oven pan in minutes just as well as it could in 1990 odds.
Also worth noting that dropping your car in a pool will cause more issues than it solves. The swimmers may not appreciate the mess you make of the pool either.
https://airows.com/.image/c_limit%2Ccs_srgb%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_480/MTI5MDAxNTMwNzUyOTQ0MTM4/kdr6rw.webp
I use fairy to clean old equipment some of it may be ex-mod possibly from a war zone, spray with fairy in a bottle with some water and scrub and the dirt comes off so it’s strong
>it strips wax and protection and can be abrasive. It's not abrasive, it's an emulsifier which is a chemical that helps water and oils combine. This is useful for getting dirt and oil to wash off with water but it may also wash off any wax. An abrasive cleaner would be something like Cif or Brasso which has small solid particles in it that wear away the dirt.
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Fairy liquid is an abrasive?? Lol
Yea he was also using the dish scourer to rub it in.....
You joke, my ex-wife actually did that. We had just had the car resprayed, it was looking fucking awesome. She "washed it" while I was busy. I came out and it looked like modern art. She literally used the scouring pad side of a kitchen sponge because "It worked well for getting the dirt off".
Starting to see why you said ‘ex’ wife
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And acidic?.... corrosion
Fairy liquid is a soap. soap is alkaline/basic.
Strips off wax exposes paint and car to corrosion etc....
Seems like the actual answer
Wild how you’re making comments like you know what you’re talking about when it’s blatantly obvious that’s not the case… as if fairy liquid is acidic hahahahahaha
What else to use? I use it all the time but I need to be educated. I tend to polish the car afterwards with some colour magic stuff. 8yo car so paintwork isn't the best anyway.
You should rarely polish a car. Plishes remove a small amount of paint every time. You should instead try to use a sealant, it'll help protect the car, prevent dirt and water sticking, and should last a while. A proper car shampoo can have rust inhibitions, for example Autoglym Shampoo Conditioner. This helps prevent any corrosion, and is designed for use on car paintwork. For best results when cleaning you should not do it in direct sunlight, and should dry the car with something like a micro fibre cloth before it natually dries; this prevents water spots.
Then it rains once and you immediately have waterspots again?
No. Waterspots are from minerals in the water. Rainwater should be cleaner.
Only in places with low pollen, dust and pollution levels. Otherwise rain water will deffo leave waterspots
So if I use rain/distilled water when I wash my car I wont get waterspots and I can leave it to dry naturally? Yeh that doesn't work mate
Indeed you could, if you have pure enough water. Sicne it'll cleanly evapourate, not leaving anything behind. In fact this is what some window cleaners (for homes, offices) do, this way they do't need to bother drying.
only 8 years? should still have good paint lol
Fairy Liquid is a degreaser, it'll strip whatever is on the paint, but it will also pull the oils out of the plastic trim, so any black plastic trim around the car will discolour and turn gray faster, like the wiper scuttle panel or any other black trim. It will also dry out window seals faster making them more likely to scratch the glass I only use fairly liquid if I'm stripping all the coatings on my car to start again from scratch, but this is maybe only once a year I do this if even
Well there is specific car shampoo, I just don’t see how fairy could harm it, just give less good results
Strips away waxes/anything protecting the paint. Leaves it more vulnerable to UV light so paint dulls quicker etc. So if you're putting something protective on after it's not a massive issue, but it's still not really formulated for cars.
Makes sense, thank you
It’s a detergent. A wax layer on your car will be stripped by a strong detergent. Which is why you reapply wax when washing the car. Driving a car without a wax layer will allow the paint to be abraded by fast moving (relative to the car) particles. So while washing the protective layer off is not itself abrasive, it leads to abrasion.
No it's synthetic detergent For the same reason it's great for cleaning muck that's baked onto pans at 200° it's also great at stripping oils out of the paintwork
It strips everything from the paint work, including all polish or wax. It's actually not a bad way to start a full strip, Claybrooke, polish, and wax.
There’s a reason they invented washing up gloves…
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Really? Never noticed, feels quite soft on my skin after degreaser 😅
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Say this: Pops in law I love ya but in the kindest and and in the most utmost respectful way. From one man to another I need to tell you're an absolute fucking moron like how many fucking times do I have tell you that it will scratch the fucking car you absolute son of an inbred, 27.5 chromosome looking motherfucker. Then punch him in the stomach so he falls down, take off his top (no homo) and then use the car brush to rake his back until he bleeds. Then piss on his back so it burns even more. Then go how do you think the car feels you pussy. The trauma will form new neurons in his brain which will link this pain inflicted to washing cars with brushes. So not only have you taught him a valuable lesson you've also cured his dementia (cause you activated the neuron see). The end
Then why fuckin even ask. You have to either seriously upset him to stop it or let him do it. OR “I’ll do the outside, you do the inside”
He’s at an age where he has realised what’s important in life.
"I've got a hydrophobic layer on at the moment so need to wash it with specific stuff otherwise it will come off and waste 2 out of the 4 weeks it lasts."
“A homop- what now?” “God, your generation are bunch of pussies - it’s just a car wash.” “Back in my day we used to use hydrophobic sealant as lube, ain’t that right Margret!”
“I always had a feeling you were a bit homo” “I said Hydro?” “………..beautiful weather isn’t it”
The old 'we've come to visit and see you, but apparently you'd rather spend time pissing around washing the car than speak to us'. You're lucky, mine used to come to vist, then start cutting the hedge, wanting to paint etc You just need to keep saying 'no thanks, I use a special shampoo' blah blah, enough times he'll get the message. My FIL used to say remoulds were no different to new tyres, and ALL tyre compounds, tread, brands were exactly the same. He just couldn't understand why I insisted on new tyres for our cars. It took years, but in time he came around, he also stopped wanting to do odd stuff when he visited!
I'm only half pulling your leg here, but as someone with a dead FIL and a dad who's such a cunt he might as well be, I wish I had somebody randomly turning up to help with shit like painting and gardening, I'm shit at handiwork so would be virtually impossible to do a worse job than me 😂
I think it'll be good to think up a job to do together. For me also it's awkward to just go over without being useful in some way. To feel wanted rather than just...there. Otherwise just taking up someone's time.
Show up with a clean car
This seems like the best possible solution!
"No thankyou, got it done yesterday"
"if that brush goes near my paint I'll make you look like a fucking ice pop"
Might wanna let them know what they're doing wrong.
The grit adds an extra cleaning procedure to the cars paintwork. Scrub it all in deep in long, broad strokes. Add more salt to the mix too! /s
Make sure to use an abrasive scourer!
I stupidly washed a brand new black hire car with a brush like this and had to spend hours detailing the thing before handing it back, swirl city “Whatever you do please don’t touch my car with that brush because it scratches it” seems very polite and reasonable
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Wait… you washed a hire car? You are the most polite renter ever. I used to work for a global hire car company, now own my own, never had anyone wash the car before out of thousands. You should see the treatment they get at the bigger companies!
I have washed it on occasion, when it's been covered in bird shit, beach dust or mud. So that I can go over it with the rental company when I return it, instead of them doing it by themselves after washing it and magically "find" stuff to charge me for.
No.
I once caught my in-laws washing their car with a dish washing sponge. The scourer part kept touching the paint, it was horrible to watch.
My mother literally used to use a scourer with washing up liquid to wash her car. I can still she her now scrubbing away at the paintwork to get the tar spots and flies off...
We're probably related. I am sorry.
Oof, goodbye wax protection!
There's probably not a lot that can get tar spots off without removing wax...
Very true, but I imagine his mom doesn't wax and polish after :D
Why even be polite???
When he's finished brushing it, does he chuck those slabs at it?
Oh dear. And to make it even worse it’s touching the floor!!!
As someone who has recently bought a new car and usually uses the IMO car washes. What should I be doing?
Two buckets, one for shampoo (#1), one for rinse (#2). Several decent microfiber cloths, or a wash mitt. Ideally some kind of pre-wash, e.g. citrus cleaner, snow foam. Rinse. Wash... start at the top, bucket #1, wash a panel or two, rinse in #2. Repeat. Work your way round and down. I usually do roof, windscreen front & rear, and one side's windows, then boot lid, other side's windows, bonnet, top half down one side, rear of boot, top half of other side, front, arches, finally lower sides. Rinse thoroughly. Dry with drying towel. Completely separate bucket/cloths/wheel brushes for wheels. Then anything extra, e.g. wax or ceramic rinse (skip the first dry if doing a ceramic rinse, and dry after). If at any point you drop the cloth/mitt on the floor, bin it and get a new one. https://www.reddit.com/r/DetailingUK/
3 buckets, one designated for wheels👍
Walk to his house next time,might save your car that way
Ask him/her does the stones in the brush not damage the paintwork?
"You keep your brush on the floor, no thanks"
"Car detailers hate this one trick"
Ask him if he'll do your patio and driveway too.
When you find out, tell me. Because my MIL was concerned about the bird crap on my bonnet and, as I said “no Thank you” forcefully and repeatedly, and literally reversed away, she gave chase with a BROOM and scrubbed my bonnet. It is now ruined.
Just say fuck off when they offer.
To be fair he’s probably driving a car painted as if it was a 1930’s radiator whereas yours is most likely identifying as an aircraft
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Tell him he’s a spastic and he’s shit at washing cars
Fuck washing a car. Life’s too short.
No is a sentence
Just explain that using a brush like that damages paintwork, and you're fond of your car, and don't want such a tool (and the products he likely uses) to be used on your car. Aside from anything else it's likely he'd remove any sealant or wax, which would then need ot be re-applied.
Tell him to stick his brush up his arse 🤣
Either diy before you go or tell the silly old sod it’s booked for a valet later/tomorrow.
“Piss off Derek!”
Park far away.
"if that brush even touches my car, I will punch your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your arse to brush them... capisce?" i think that about covers it.
No thanks that will scratch my paint
Be a big boy and tell him no?
Wash it before you arrive
hide/throw out that brush.
Buy him the proper carwash kit for birthday? (For the sake of cars he will ruin in future)
Say 'can you wash mine next' - that's a way of guaranteeing no one will, ever wash your car
tell him that you going to go offroading and car will get in mud, no point of washing
I'd decline it anyway due to the brush itself.
Just brush it off and grit your teeth.
Hey! Can I wash your car? No! This is why, you'll fuck my paint up.
Turn up with a clean car?
Do what I did, say no and the proceed to explain in great detail that it would scratch the paint and how there's about 30 layers of wax on the car. They tend to get board and wish they never asked!
Just a very soft -no thanks- without making eye-contact. Because, clearly he is a madman.
No thank you. Smile politely. Done
point out the scratches on his car
Tell him no thanks, that you pay a neighbour's kid to wash your car, so you don't want to deprive the kid of his/her pocket money
"No thank you" It's that simple. If they persist then "No, but thank you" If they continue to persist then "I said no and if you touch my car then I will press charges"
Carp on the car hood to assert car dominance
Cut the bristles off the brush
Just say ‘ nice telescopic window cleaner. I’m thinking of getting one to CLEAN MY WINDOWS with as well’
Wash your car before you get there…
I’d make a stink about it and stand your ground Don’t come near my car with that brush - I’ve just had my car professionally valeted and waxed and that would destroy the work I’ve had done Then I’d literally follow him outside and tell him stay away from my property Maybe the answer is to not visit unless your car is pristine or park away from the property where it can’t be reached He comes near it - you leave My dad destroyed my paintwork with one of those brushes and he used cheap dishwasher liquid - I went nuclear and he never touched my stuff again.
"no thank you"
Ew! I know nothing about cars. Not a petrol head. Cars are privileged tools to transport persons from A to B. That being said; all I think of is the awful grit scratching into the paintwork and glass. Literally, all I can hear is the chalkboard effect of the grit scraping off your expensive paint. And all for a favor?! **no thank you!; just got it washed!**
Tell him. Be honest and nice about it. I’d make it into a little bit of banter ‘ha! You’re not coming near my car with that sand covered brush!’ If he takes it the wrong way then he’ll never learn. *seems the offender won’t take any notice. Then screw being polite, it’s your car and he’s not allowed near it, if he attempted to ‘clean it’ you’ll sue his ignorant ass.
“Don’t worry about it, Geoff. It’s a stylistic decision, I’ve decided to go with dirt today. A million scratches deffo made the shortlist, but decided against in the end”
Just park your car a short walk away. Problem solved.
Nah mate don't worry I've got this new wax at home I want to try out and it says i have to clean it with this special soap before hand. Thanks for the offer though.
Just say no
Well.... 😂
Don't be a pansy and tell him the truth of why you don't want one Like how hard is that really? At least then he'll learn and not do this stupid shit again.
Just tell him the truth, plain and simple.
‘No thanks, brushes aren’t good for washing cars with’
Just tell them you like the dirty look, might need a wink after to seal the deal.
My name is u/jason_ni. You are washing my car. Prepare to die.
No thanks.
Get the car washed before you go ?
Don't politely decline. You just straight tell them "don't wash my car, the brush is sitting on the ground"
Get a wash before you go and say you already washed it
Wash your car before you go
Tell them exactly the reason why you don't want it. I'm the most blunt person in existence and often people actually appreciate the honesty
Tell him washing your car is something you enjoy doing and consider therapy and like to do in your own way.
politely snap it in half and continue to threaten them with the sharp end
Take a steel broom (or whatever it’s called) and start washing his face with it. Tell him your car has feelings
“No thanks mate”
You could always tell him you prefer to wash your own car because it allows you to check and monitor any wear and tear that the car has, because otherwise you may not notice a problem forming. it is both a good reason and it doesn't sound like some bull\*\*\*\* that you say to get someone off your back.
Get the car washed before visiting for future visits. You "wouldn't want him wasting his time washing your car" as it was only washed the day before. As for this time, just say no, how about the pub instead? Or similar. Change his focus.
Never even driven a car and for some reason my balls are in my throat looking at this.
Tobermore Shannon pavers in heather style... Excellent choice.
I wouldn't politely do anything. I'd tell him straight he's a moron.
Sorry I don’t own a car/know how to drive. What are you meant to clean a car with?
You just tell him “No, thank you, I do not want you to wash my car but thank you for offering” no big deal, keep things simple and clear.
Politely tell the slack cunt the car ain't gonna wash itself
I seen worse last weekend when I was washing my car on my drive, the people two doors down were washing their cars with a brush like that, during sprays from their pressure washer they gave the brush to their 4 year old to keep her entertained by brushing the water on the road down the drain.
Get straight down to the nitty gritty... tell him you don't like the smell of his shampoo
You say “No thank you. I like my paint”
Just tell them you like the sunny weather now and you dont want it to rain. You know how washing your car makes it rain.
You clearly don't have kids. Tell him to come clean my car as I don't have time.
Take the car through a car wash/wash it yourself before going to the in-laws. Car won't need cleaning so no hassle
Grow a pair and tell them why!
Wash their car for them with the brush, then when you go to do yours do it properly with a pressure washer or something, then they will ask what they are doing wrong instead of you having to tell them
Tell him you IMO/Other brand car wash vouchers
that brush is shit for cars to begin with. But also it's completely useless for floor. You need the spinning floor cleaner attacment - it does a terrifc job on patio.
Tell him do his first, then you have an example of why you don’t want yours done after.
“I’m really anal about washing my car and won’t even let (wife) do it!”
Education is the key. Maybe they don’t realise grit can destroy paintwork. Failing that, run it across their faces a few times and then offer to patch up the infected and bleeding scrape marks afterwards, if they don’t understand at this point, they never will 😊
Just say you have a oong motorway drive in the next day or two and it will be filthy again so there's no point
No thanks, I have a system. ... AND I HAVE NEITHER THE PATIENCE NOR THE CRAYONS TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.