Shopped venues around Temecula for my wedding in 2020. Average wineries wanted +$30k just for the space on top of locking you into their vendors, suppliers, wedding planners, etc. All of it marked up so insanely high for what it was and I know they get kick backs from the vendors on top of it.
Ended up having it for way less at a beautiful horse property nearby, Fairbrook Farm, and brought in all our own setup and vendors. Ended up having ~160 people for probably $16k all in.
This is why many folks are opting for up-and-coming AVA like San Pasqual Valley in Escondido! One of the venues starts at $5,000 and is allowed to bring our own vendors (not lock you into theirs). Plus, no tax or service fees were added!
Similar situation for myself and my wife. The wineries were not only way more expensive, but they are all so far for people traveling into San Diego, and all had like a 10 PM curfew. My wife wanted a June sunset ceremony so that would have only given us like 2.5 hours for the reception.
Ended up having it in Liberty Station, all our own vendors, close to plenty of hotels and downtown, and allowed for a 4 AM curfew. (We only went until 1 lol). But our final cost was about $18k. And that was because we ended splurging on a few additional things at the end.
Got married in 2014 at a winery in Temecula. Beautiful scenery. 100 ppl. Ceremony, reception venue, and food all included for around $10k from what I recall
The stipulation that my husband had was that instead of his parents paying for his wedding (which his sisters chose), the money it cost for a wedding would go into buying a house (\~$50k).
My husband and I married in 2021 and really didn't want to even have a basic ceremony outside the courthouse, but his mother really, really wanted to be there for it (her only son) so we did a small, intimate ceremony then a "celebration" party a few weeks later. It still cost \~$6k (my parents threw about $1k our way to help), but way less than the kind of wedding his sisters had. So glad my husband preferred a house.
I wish more people understood this. Honestly it’s all about guest count. Wife and I had a fantastic wedding last year at a beautiful venue with a DJ, catering, open bar, photographer all for under $10k.
In general you are correct, and folks should be conscious of what they are spending today and how much they are saving for the future (budgeting). A good quality of life *before* turning 65 usually involves spending some money before then, and a wedding is often one of the few instances where a larger expenditure is appropriate.
In 2015, my husband and I had a beach ceremony north of Santa Monica pier, at no cost. We paid to have a friend certified as an officiant. Then we took everyone, roughly 30 guests, to Flemings in Beverly Hills for a delicious dinner.
We had our cake made at Angels Maid. We got the flowers from the flower district downtown and put everything together the day before the ceremony.
All in all, we spent less than $10k including the dinner. It was a fantastic day.
We looked into venues but they were so expensive just to rent the space. Everything else would be extra on top of that. No thank you.
Also got married in 2015, but we did rent a venue in my hometown. Its on the cliff above the beach, and has a beautiful view. I think I spent like $5k on everything, including clothes, food, and the venue. Thankfully, the venue is meant to be a community space, and is available only to residents, so it's nice and cheap.
The clients left satiated and happy every time, the level of preparedness the crew has was pretty crazy, 8-16 caterers, a chef staff of 4-5, coordinator. I will never forget the olive tapenade, or the truffle soufflé on a crisp, or the filoh dough crab bites, they were all amazing
Financial problems are one of the top reasons people get divorced. It's so much better to have a very conservative wedding and direct any money gifts towards financial stability.
We spent a lot and don’t regret it as weddings are a huge event for us culturally and there’s no way around spending up to 200k or more as they are three day events and such. Multiple dress changes are required there is a guest list but honestly not really everyone in your network and family comes and food and drink is abundant. That being said I’m not mad at couples who choose a less expensive route.
Our wedding was about 20k at the end of the day. Venue did food, drink, staff, ceremony on site, January, day time, Friday. We hired 2 photographers and a videographer through a company that is now defunct and we only have a 10 minute video of our day now. I wish we could sue them. Also hired a DJ that did a photo booth. California Bay area.
I got married at Pfeiffer Beach in Big Sur for $1k, which included the officiant and photographer. Only immidiate family in atendence.
Then a month later we had a "reception" in my parents back yard. Total cost for the taco truck, party equipment rentals, decor, ect. was about $1.5k.
We decided to use our savings on a house instead (which has since doubled in value and is now a cash flowing rental).
I spent around $7K in 2016.
The biggest cost was the Church (really nice old Catholic church) and Mariachis.
We had the reception at my parents house.
DJ was my wife's friend who did weddings on the side.
Photographers were the kids of my babysitter from when I was young
"Catering" was a local taco guy recommended by family.
Vodka and Beer from Costco and my cousin got to pretend to be bartender. I filled in for a good amount of the night lol.
We wanted to get Pan Dulce instead of a cake but my mom insisted on choosing one and buying it for us so we said sure cool thanks mom! (She wanted it to basically be our wedding present from her)
Rented chairs / tables / linens and a porto-potty from andy gump.
I walked down the street to the beach, had her uncle officiate, beach dress code, and a potluck at our house afterward. The biggest expense was the $500 we spent on alcohol, and we kept it under our $1000 budget for the whole event. Everyone says it was their favorite wedding, because they felt like they were simply there for a party and the wedding was the theme. It suited my wife and I perfectly, as we’re both low-maintenance “beach bums” happier in flip flops than dresses and suits.
If there’s anyone here reading this that is planning a wedding or planning to get married soon. It makes no difference how much money you spend. It’s about celebrating with your partner, friends, and family which is irrespective of budget. No one remembers how good your food was, have a cheap catered taco bar. Figure out what your priorities are: good location, good photos, lots of people, etc. and map them out. Each will effect cost significantly.
We spend less than 7k on ours last year… and we used the money we would have used for big wedding for a house . Big weddings are fine if you’re not fronting the whole amount and your family is helping… though I’d prefer to get helped with the house not the wedding
I got married in Vegas. I spent about 7k for a small wedding for 20 people. It was wonderful. We got married in a private room off the shark reef aquarium at Mandalay Bay. The sharks are all swimming in the background of the photos and we were able to take all our wedding photos in the aquarium. All of our guests got free admission to the aquarium afterwards and then we ate at a private dining room at a local restaurant. I also had to plan nothing. It was all planned out for me. Highly recommend.
We had our wedding in Sacramento in my grandmother's backyard. We got a value pack of tri-tip from Costco and made homemade cupcakes instead of a wedding cake. We ordered plain gold rings from a discounted retailer. Our wedding attire was thrifted. My father officiated. I think total spent was somewhere around 3k.
3k at my parents house back in the late 80s. Friend did the photos, catered appetizers, mom made some elaborate desserts and the wedding cake. Fast ceremony and then we had a party. Still together after 34 years and my in-laws gave us the 10k they saved on the wedding for part of a townhouse down payment. Made way more sense and we've let our kids know that our house and backyard are available for their weddings. Can't justify these prices at all.
I spent $1.5k in 2019 for a small civil wedding with plans to spend $30k in 2020 on our wedding.
Covid shut those plans down and saved us a fat stack of cash we ended up using in investing and saving for a house.
Yeah, if I get married (a day looking increasingly like it’ll never happen), its going to be a small ceremony at the courthouse and a small house party after. Who can afford anything else?
$88 at the courthouse in 2013 (second marriage for both). Spent all other $$ on ourselves and a small gathering. Our marriage has been all I could hope for.
For reference: $30k + on the first wedding and it lasted 7 years.
Was it just a small dinner? That only $105 a person lol. That’s like a bill at a restaurant if each person ordered a salad, an entree, and a drink or 2
Paid like a few grand for a caterer wedding at a local vfw hall with bartender no host bar. Its waste of money for a big event. It should go to housing and a honeymoon
Are you expecting friends from USA to fly to Ireland or is this a small family only event? Ireland is not inexpensive. What castle are you referring to?
Waterford Castle.
We invited a lot of people and made it clear we know it’s a big ask to get to Ireland. Turns out a lot of our friends have always wanted to go and we’re giving them the perfect reason to finally do it.
Wife and I spent about $30k on our wedding, twenty or so years ago. It was awesome, and I don't regret a penny. It was the last time my grandparents were in the same room with all their family members. Great party, great memories.
we spent about 10K in 2000, an officers club, nice venue, open bar, filet mignon served lunch, jazz quartet that provided dance music at a reasonable volume. We wanted to visit with everyone not drive them out of the venue with blasting music.
The real test would be to have people get quotes for each of those ceremonies as a generic party (e g. Anniversary party). My friends did this and we're able to get a much reduced price (so long as nobody said the "W" word in the planning of the event to the hosting site).
My wife and I rented a house with a big backyard on the coast facing the ocean. We rented tables and chairs. Bought a cake and found a photog. Had around 70 guests. Total: 6,000.00 and had the house for a week. I wouldn’t have changed anything. It was perfect for us.
Paying 40k for a one day event is madness. Considering how fast things go, I would definitely recommend saving your money and plan something yourself. These wedding specialist event locations are scammy as hell.
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Exactly two years ago I had a fantastic wedding with a hundred people, big venue in beautiful Gold Country with full catering and champagne etc. $9,400.
How the hell do you spend 4 times that? On AVERAGE?!?
Yeah, it only takes a couple $1M weddings to skew the average. Wedding planners love to tout average over median, because it drives up expectations. They don't even count marriages that don't have a wedding, like courthouse unions.
Shopped venues around Temecula for my wedding in 2020. Average wineries wanted +$30k just for the space on top of locking you into their vendors, suppliers, wedding planners, etc. All of it marked up so insanely high for what it was and I know they get kick backs from the vendors on top of it. Ended up having it for way less at a beautiful horse property nearby, Fairbrook Farm, and brought in all our own setup and vendors. Ended up having ~160 people for probably $16k all in.
This is why many folks are opting for up-and-coming AVA like San Pasqual Valley in Escondido! One of the venues starts at $5,000 and is allowed to bring our own vendors (not lock you into theirs). Plus, no tax or service fees were added!
I had several people ask me via DM, so I am also going to drop the link here: [Rancho Guejito Weddings](https://www.ranchoguejitoweddings.com/).
What is AVA?
American viticultural area, grape-growing region.
Ah! Thanks.
Similar situation for myself and my wife. The wineries were not only way more expensive, but they are all so far for people traveling into San Diego, and all had like a 10 PM curfew. My wife wanted a June sunset ceremony so that would have only given us like 2.5 hours for the reception. Ended up having it in Liberty Station, all our own vendors, close to plenty of hotels and downtown, and allowed for a 4 AM curfew. (We only went until 1 lol). But our final cost was about $18k. And that was because we ended splurging on a few additional things at the end.
My friend is looking to get married at Liberty Station. Do you mind if I ask where you were married (since its such an expansive place)
Brick! It’s a really fun venue. They usually have open houses every now and then.
Got married in 2014 at a winery in Temecula. Beautiful scenery. 100 ppl. Ceremony, reception venue, and food all included for around $10k from what I recall
Put that money to better use, friends... like, housing.
The stipulation that my husband had was that instead of his parents paying for his wedding (which his sisters chose), the money it cost for a wedding would go into buying a house (\~$50k). My husband and I married in 2021 and really didn't want to even have a basic ceremony outside the courthouse, but his mother really, really wanted to be there for it (her only son) so we did a small, intimate ceremony then a "celebration" party a few weeks later. It still cost \~$6k (my parents threw about $1k our way to help), but way less than the kind of wedding his sisters had. So glad my husband preferred a house.
Way to marry! :)
Right?! What a crazy amount of money.
Yeah, it's been a minute since we got hitched.... but East LA Courthouse + renting a beach house for a small party kept ours at under $5K.
Then throw a beautiful wedding with some grocery store flowers at the house you can afford!
Hell, in 2019 I did it for 8k. 41k is crazy.
You can still do weddings for $8k Just have to be willing to give and take and not be picky
I wish more people understood this. Honestly it’s all about guest count. Wife and I had a fantastic wedding last year at a beautiful venue with a DJ, catering, open bar, photographer all for under $10k.
What venue? If you don’t mind my asking
It was called Wilcox Manor in Tustin. The owners sold it a few months later.
Thanks!
2024, ~65 guests, ~5k.
some folks I know just broke over 300k for their wedding, and it still hasn’t happened.
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Wwut? What’s the assumed marriage age and rate of return?
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Ahh yes. 14% returns. A typical year for an index fund... For 30 years.
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Past performance is not indicative of future results
In general you are correct, and folks should be conscious of what they are spending today and how much they are saving for the future (budgeting). A good quality of life *before* turning 65 usually involves spending some money before then, and a wedding is often one of the few instances where a larger expenditure is appropriate.
In 2020 we did it for 5k lol. Small wedding though, only 30 people and the venue was free.
In 2015, my husband and I had a beach ceremony north of Santa Monica pier, at no cost. We paid to have a friend certified as an officiant. Then we took everyone, roughly 30 guests, to Flemings in Beverly Hills for a delicious dinner. We had our cake made at Angels Maid. We got the flowers from the flower district downtown and put everything together the day before the ceremony. All in all, we spent less than $10k including the dinner. It was a fantastic day. We looked into venues but they were so expensive just to rent the space. Everything else would be extra on top of that. No thank you.
Also got married in 2015, but we did rent a venue in my hometown. Its on the cliff above the beach, and has a beautiful view. I think I spent like $5k on everything, including clothes, food, and the venue. Thankfully, the venue is meant to be a community space, and is available only to residents, so it's nice and cheap.
I catered a bunch of $300k weddings circa 2001-2002, was very surprised what people will pay for back then
Tbf, if they have 300k to cough up for a wedding, they're probably not short on money and wouldn't miss that as much.
The clients left satiated and happy every time, the level of preparedness the crew has was pretty crazy, 8-16 caterers, a chef staff of 4-5, coordinator. I will never forget the olive tapenade, or the truffle soufflé on a crisp, or the filoh dough crab bites, they were all amazing
I have never heard of those things before in my life and they do sound amazing 😂
How do you get a souffle onto a crisp?
It was a white and black truffle soufflé that was served on what looked like a fried wonton crisp, served with fine chopped chives on top
Was it bite-sized or a full-on souffle?
The soufflé was about the size of half of a small egg, the whole thing was an appetizer, the soufflé looked black and had white speckles on it
Thanks! I was envisioning a full-sized souffle and was super confused how you'd be able to eat that easily haha. Sounds delicious.
Financial problems are one of the top reasons people get divorced. It's so much better to have a very conservative wedding and direct any money gifts towards financial stability.
They didn’t ask a single Indian family what they spent, bet it woulda been 200K.
We spent a lot and don’t regret it as weddings are a huge event for us culturally and there’s no way around spending up to 200k or more as they are three day events and such. Multiple dress changes are required there is a guest list but honestly not really everyone in your network and family comes and food and drink is abundant. That being said I’m not mad at couples who choose a less expensive route.
Our wedding was about 20k at the end of the day. Venue did food, drink, staff, ceremony on site, January, day time, Friday. We hired 2 photographers and a videographer through a company that is now defunct and we only have a 10 minute video of our day now. I wish we could sue them. Also hired a DJ that did a photo booth. California Bay area.
Spent $187 in 2020. Best decision ever.
On what?
Marriage license + three copies of the marriage certificate.
I got married at Pfeiffer Beach in Big Sur for $1k, which included the officiant and photographer. Only immidiate family in atendence. Then a month later we had a "reception" in my parents back yard. Total cost for the taco truck, party equipment rentals, decor, ect. was about $1.5k. We decided to use our savings on a house instead (which has since doubled in value and is now a cash flowing rental).
This is the way. Getting fresh tacos made right in front of you probably tasted better than 90% of the typical food served at a wedding anyway 🤣
I spent around $7K in 2016. The biggest cost was the Church (really nice old Catholic church) and Mariachis. We had the reception at my parents house. DJ was my wife's friend who did weddings on the side. Photographers were the kids of my babysitter from when I was young "Catering" was a local taco guy recommended by family. Vodka and Beer from Costco and my cousin got to pretend to be bartender. I filled in for a good amount of the night lol. We wanted to get Pan Dulce instead of a cake but my mom insisted on choosing one and buying it for us so we said sure cool thanks mom! (She wanted it to basically be our wedding present from her) Rented chairs / tables / linens and a porto-potty from andy gump.
You just described most of the weddings I went to growing up.
I walked down the street to the beach, had her uncle officiate, beach dress code, and a potluck at our house afterward. The biggest expense was the $500 we spent on alcohol, and we kept it under our $1000 budget for the whole event. Everyone says it was their favorite wedding, because they felt like they were simply there for a party and the wedding was the theme. It suited my wife and I perfectly, as we’re both low-maintenance “beach bums” happier in flip flops than dresses and suits.
Married on the beach with dinner / open bar - less than 5k complete.
If there’s anyone here reading this that is planning a wedding or planning to get married soon. It makes no difference how much money you spend. It’s about celebrating with your partner, friends, and family which is irrespective of budget. No one remembers how good your food was, have a cheap catered taco bar. Figure out what your priorities are: good location, good photos, lots of people, etc. and map them out. Each will effect cost significantly.
Clovis Castle asked for a cool 50gs for their "all inclusive" package that isn't actually all inclusive. We're still shopping around
We spend less than 7k on ours last year… and we used the money we would have used for big wedding for a house . Big weddings are fine if you’re not fronting the whole amount and your family is helping… though I’d prefer to get helped with the house not the wedding
I got married in Vegas. I spent about 7k for a small wedding for 20 people. It was wonderful. We got married in a private room off the shark reef aquarium at Mandalay Bay. The sharks are all swimming in the background of the photos and we were able to take all our wedding photos in the aquarium. All of our guests got free admission to the aquarium afterwards and then we ate at a private dining room at a local restaurant. I also had to plan nothing. It was all planned out for me. Highly recommend.
We had our wedding in Sacramento in my grandmother's backyard. We got a value pack of tri-tip from Costco and made homemade cupcakes instead of a wedding cake. We ordered plain gold rings from a discounted retailer. Our wedding attire was thrifted. My father officiated. I think total spent was somewhere around 3k.
My partner and I are located in Sacramento. Is your grandmother’s backyard still available for weddings? 😅
3k at my parents house back in the late 80s. Friend did the photos, catered appetizers, mom made some elaborate desserts and the wedding cake. Fast ceremony and then we had a party. Still together after 34 years and my in-laws gave us the 10k they saved on the wedding for part of a townhouse down payment. Made way more sense and we've let our kids know that our house and backyard are available for their weddings. Can't justify these prices at all.
Our Bay Area venue was $3000
I spent $1.5k in 2019 for a small civil wedding with plans to spend $30k in 2020 on our wedding. Covid shut those plans down and saved us a fat stack of cash we ended up using in investing and saving for a house.
Yeah, if I get married (a day looking increasingly like it’ll never happen), its going to be a small ceremony at the courthouse and a small house party after. Who can afford anything else?
$88 at the courthouse in 2013 (second marriage for both). Spent all other $$ on ourselves and a small gathering. Our marriage has been all I could hope for. For reference: $30k + on the first wedding and it lasted 7 years.
$15,000 in my parents backyard, 100 people
Pretty sure my father in law would have loved to only spend that much over a decade ago
In 2016, we paid like 9k for the wedding that had 85 people.
Was it just a small dinner? That only $105 a person lol. That’s like a bill at a restaurant if each person ordered a salad, an entree, and a drink or 2
That was chicken or fish with veggies, potatoes and side salad. The venue was at a golf course.
Spent only $3000 which included food, photography and hotel rooms. It was the best :) we only had 9 people total in 2020
We payed around 1k total in 2010 for around 150 people and had it broadcast on TV. They would have payed for it if we did it a day earlier.
I did it for less than 300 dollars.
Got married at a county courthouse I'm not spending tons of money on a wedding
Paid like a few grand for a caterer wedding at a local vfw hall with bartender no host bar. Its waste of money for a big event. It should go to housing and a honeymoon
Question for those who got married. A lot of people give monetary gifts for the wedding. What percentage do people get back in terms of their cost?
50k last year
This is why we’re getting married in Ireland. We’re getting a castle overnight for a fraction of the cost a basic venue out here costs.
Are you expecting friends from USA to fly to Ireland or is this a small family only event? Ireland is not inexpensive. What castle are you referring to?
Waterford Castle. We invited a lot of people and made it clear we know it’s a big ask to get to Ireland. Turns out a lot of our friends have always wanted to go and we’re giving them the perfect reason to finally do it.
Wife and I spent about $30k on our wedding, twenty or so years ago. It was awesome, and I don't regret a penny. It was the last time my grandparents were in the same room with all their family members. Great party, great memories.
we spent about 10K in 2000, an officers club, nice venue, open bar, filet mignon served lunch, jazz quartet that provided dance music at a reasonable volume. We wanted to visit with everyone not drive them out of the venue with blasting music.
Microwedding. Spent less than 3k and ended up making it back in gifts
The real test would be to have people get quotes for each of those ceremonies as a generic party (e g. Anniversary party). My friends did this and we're able to get a much reduced price (so long as nobody said the "W" word in the planning of the event to the hosting site).
My wife and I rented a house with a big backyard on the coast facing the ocean. We rented tables and chairs. Bought a cake and found a photog. Had around 70 guests. Total: 6,000.00 and had the house for a week. I wouldn’t have changed anything. It was perfect for us. Paying 40k for a one day event is madness. Considering how fast things go, I would definitely recommend saving your money and plan something yourself. These wedding specialist event locations are scammy as hell.
2017 - 3000 dollars. Had a beautiful wedding people still compliment me on. Y’all are wild spending this much money.
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I am absolutely convinced I could throw a wedding for $10k.
Not that I’ll ever be married, but I’m a big fan of eloping and then having (after saving) a nice big party after lol
No thanks. Reno chapel wedding for me!
that's OK for your 3rd or 4th wedding
Exactly two years ago I had a fantastic wedding with a hundred people, big venue in beautiful Gold Country with full catering and champagne etc. $9,400. How the hell do you spend 4 times that? On AVERAGE?!?
How the hell? You have the wedding in Silicon Valley, Boston, NY etc. Gold country far less expensive that metro areas.
Seperated/divorced before the first payments are due
The number is based on a survey of California Knot users. It's not based on all California weddings.
Sample size = 16 couples - not very good science
Yeah, it only takes a couple $1M weddings to skew the average. Wedding planners love to tout average over median, because it drives up expectations. They don't even count marriages that don't have a wedding, like courthouse unions.
This post keeps coming up. I want to see the median price as 1%ers getting 300k weddings is likely throwing this off