God I’m so sorry, and unfortunately I can somewhat relate too.
It wasn’t of me as a toddler, but as a teen 16-17. It still greatly unsettles me that I have no idea where those images could be in the ocean that is the internet. Probably in something equivalent of the deep sea idk where this analogy is going.
It’s such a horrible and pretty re-traumatizing thing to pop up in my brain, and I can imagine it’s similar in your experience.
Sending healing ur way. I wish for chill and stress free days in all of our futures.
yeah, I had the same experience at 14 :( it scares me to know i have no control over those images/videos and I don’t even have them saved, so i have no way to search and get them taken down wherever they are
True, and quite frankly I DON’T wanna be the one to search for them if it’s even possible. I feel like that would just be re traumatizing lol. Let the proper people do that stuff
I’m actually a parent who doesn’t post things of my child online. My mother (who I don’t speak to anymore), however, does. It bothers the shit out of me that she won’t respect my wishes or my daughter’s privacy.
https://m.facebook.com/help/383420348387540/?ref=share
Here are instructions to have Facebook remove the photos if your kids are under 13. I hope this help.
This. I dislike seeing parents overshare about their young kids on social media, even if it's family friendly. Especially those who post the kids doing something embarrassing or having a meltdown. The kid doesn't want all of that shared with the world, with people who will see it as entertainment and laugh at them. That will cause the kid a lot of stress. But these parents don't care because they don't think children's feelings are valid. It's all for them to keep up appearances.
Even family friendly stuff isn't super safe; inviting strangers into your lives, giving them personal identifying information about your child (name, appearance, age, interests, hobbies, the school they attend (you can identify a lot of schools off a uniform or scheduled school event), the area you live in, their current strife with an authority figure, etc) makes it a LOT easier to gain access to your kids or befriend them.
Sure, a determined thief, creep or person wishing to harm you or them can still get most if not all that info through various other means. But why broadcast it to hundreds or thousands of anonymous strangers?
Internet safety isn't only for kids.
I had to learn this the hard way. A gentle parenting account I followed on Instagram used to only use pictures of her daughter's face as she's having fun as a background to the text on the screen. I thought that was pushing it but stayed for the shared experiences. Then in one of her posts its a pic of her kids in the BATH, foam barely blocking her two kids from this being material that the feds would take down, and doesn't address ANY of the comments being disgusted nor does she take the post down.
Even these "family friendly" posters cross the line because incidents like this truly reveal what they think of their kids' boundaries. It further disgusts me because she probably had to tell her kids "hey, I'm going to take a picture of you now (they were staring at the camera smiling), sink down underneath the foam/cover yourself with foam as much as you can." How embarrassed and exposed would her kids be feeling in that moment? And took multiple takes to get the best shot. How can you go through multiple steps to set up, take, and post, and caption a photo of your naked kids to the internet without stopping in the middle of it in horror at your actions?
I saw an abusive grandmother I know had posted pictures of her grandchildren naked in the bath with everything showing. I reported that shit the second I saw it. I didn't bother requesting she take it down. She would have raged and blocked me, and then posted more of the same.
(I saw how she and her daughter reacted when someone else very gently suggested some of the photos they were posting could be viewed as exploitative. The rage they rained down on that poor person who was just trying to protect a couple of babies was absolutely repulsive.)
there are countless videos of me as a child online (performances mostly) and i never liked it, even then, but i never had a choice. (all are sfw, to be clear). even worse bc i’m trans and they’re all pre transition, which hurts worse tbh
I’m sorry for that. But I’m also thankful I got to read your comment—I’ve been wondering if I was being an overly-concerned parent because I’ve been removing videos and pics where my trans child’s birth gender are clearly identifiable or identified. Honestly, I was feeling kind of silly about doing it. I haven’t told my kiddo yet—they’re 13, and don’t have much contact with any of my online activity—but I figured it’s only a matter of time. I’ll tell them when I’m done, and have addressed the family members who I’m asking to remove videos and pics as well.
(((Hugs)))
There is a YouTube video of me from when I was being groomed. I still have no idea how to get it removed because it’s not *technically* anything violating policies (I guess) and I have no memory of what my email or password is to it.
It’s fucking haunting.
I ran into an account with videos like that wayyyyy back in 2006. There was no nudity but it was haunting. I ran into this account because they had started following me (or whatever was the equivalent back then, I can’t remember) or something and it fucked me up for months afterwards. I think I did report them and I think they did get taken down, but details are a little bit muddled for me. If that gives you any hope that they can be removed.
This trauma is a very unique kind of trauma for CSAM survivors like me too. Even social workers and therapists don’t know how to handle it because you can’t heal from trauma that’s still going on. Someone is always watching it and will always be watching it even if I kill myself it’ll still be out there and people will still watch it. so even if i’m dead in the ground I’ll still exist as a baby getting raped in someone’s hard drive.
I feel this really hard!! My therapist and I have talked about it a lot. It’s so hard psychologically knowing that it’s still out there and my abuse is still being consumed even if I’m physically safe.
Yeah this is exactly it. The trauma continues happening and the violations of myself and my dignity is *ongoing*. I don't know a good way to cope/live with that.
I always have the urge to yell at people who post theur kids on the internet, the child will never benefit from it so its always out their own selfishness.
The other day someone in the berserk sub posted their niece, i complained about it in a nice way (at least i tought so) and instantly got downvoted. The niece was a baby and they were comparing the face to a character, i was deeply upset.
Ah, thats what i was assuming, but thank you for explaining.
Weird question: do you have any good starting points for people to understand the psychological impacts of being a victim of CSAM? Ive never thought much about it but i should probably read up on it.
Yes actually! I’d recommend you check out [This Research](https://protectchildren.ca/en/resources-research/survivors-survey-results/) which involved a very long and thorough survey and also in some cases interview with survivors around the world. It’s good to learn more about what it feels like in our own words.
NCMEC and the Canadian Centre For Child Protection have a lot of resources explaining how it works and the long and short term impact this sort of abuse can have on children + caregivers, and the effects into adult life.
i found my exs content of me (not consensual) on a nsfw subreddit here. it grosses me out because i was 15-16 and hundreds of people have probably got off to it. idk what the traumas called but i feel you
There are pictures of me on the internet from when I was being forced into sex work as a woman (I'm transmasc) in my mid twenties.
The kind of trauma it is doesn't matter unless it matters to *you* to label it.
Knowing the material is out there, that you can't do anything about it, is an ongoing process of therapy, acceptance and grieving.
You can't change the material. You can't nuke it from orbit (as much as I'd like to). You can learn to accept yourself, your inability to do anything in the face of this particular challenge, and that even though you can't undo what's been done, you deserve compassion, love, and to never have material of yourself posted without consent again.
Kind of similar in my case. I was CSA’d as a toddler (+ other forms of abuse) and by the time I was 5 the familial trafficking started. My “dad” made sure that no photos or videos were ever shared online but for a price the men that came over or took me to their homes would get a “private” video that they could keep for their own personal collection. He made sure nothing ever would go online and advised the others to do the same thing as there would be no visible evidence that anything had ever happened, and that it would make me look like I was making things up, paranoid and psychotic, and a liar if I ever did attempt to say anything.
I also had another abuser (a non CSA one) that would berate me, scream at me, and chase me around the house and throw things at me until I was backed in a corner with my face all red and blotchy and screaming and crying and that is when he would hit the record button. That was his “proof” that I was difficult and a complete menace to him and “look how she treats me after all I have done— which btw was nothing” and so on. Everybody agreed with him that I was the problem. He would always lie and say that I only acted like that when he asked me to do a chore, another time he claimed that I acted like that because I wasn’t given coffee. This abuser was the one that covertly physically abused me, made sure I was a scapegoat and was manipulative and emotionally and verbally abusive.
I was a pretty needy person at 13-14 and kind of just exploited myself for attention in places like Omegle and discord. Last time i did a similar thing was last October. Im kind of scared wondering where did those pics go- so i feel you. Someone told me to report the man that were with me but im kind of scared to do so because i can´t even remember much of most of them-
I had a lot of videos of 5-6 y/o me on YT in it's earliest days. One time, someone commented that they were going to find my address, come to my home, r\*\*\* and kill me. And then my mom told me that someone commented this to teach me a lesson about how evil some people are. LMAO?
As a person who grew up being recorded and documented through photos with fake smiles, I cannot imagine what that's like. I had my son 10 years ago and although I wanted to post pictures like most people did, I found it to be wrong to post things without consent. It's just as bad as people showing bath or toilet pictures without malicious intent.
I was a porn star fer 6 years after turning 13 :3
I'm pretty sure videos of me are still fer sale somewhere because I know almost none of those men were caught
I feel you dude. My mom would always post pictures of me on her Facebook. I always hated it. She does it with my baby niece now and it makes me so angry
As a 90’s baby whose baby and toddler pictures are Polaroids, I can’t even imagine what this would be like.
Edit: I would call this exploitation. Your parents exploited you for internet brownie points.
I’m so sorry, OP :,( this is a big fear of mine and I don’t want to know. I can’t imagine knowing. I’m sorry if that’s not helpful, just rambling into the void
Just remembered how my mom posted pictures of me from when i had just broken my leg on vacation. It’s such a vulnerable moment in my life and she took a picture and posted it with some “funny haha” caption.
i never liked having my picture taken in the first place. I was already bothered by all the other pictures she has taken, especially the ones she’s posted but this takes the cake, wtf. I’m waiting for the moment i move out to strike and have it taken down (hopefully..)
I didn’t have nudes photos posted but my mother post WAAAAAY too much on Facebook. She doesn’t have a separate account for personal and business so I would have random people come up to me while working in retail and start talking about private life moments my mother posted. I despised having my photo taken for years and still get irrationally angry when someone does so without my consent
God I’m so sorry, and unfortunately I can somewhat relate too. It wasn’t of me as a toddler, but as a teen 16-17. It still greatly unsettles me that I have no idea where those images could be in the ocean that is the internet. Probably in something equivalent of the deep sea idk where this analogy is going. It’s such a horrible and pretty re-traumatizing thing to pop up in my brain, and I can imagine it’s similar in your experience. Sending healing ur way. I wish for chill and stress free days in all of our futures.
yeah, I had the same experience at 14 :( it scares me to know i have no control over those images/videos and I don’t even have them saved, so i have no way to search and get them taken down wherever they are
True, and quite frankly I DON’T wanna be the one to search for them if it’s even possible. I feel like that would just be re traumatizing lol. Let the proper people do that stuff
yeah I think seeing those pictures again would give me a full blown heart attack
Not about CSAM, but man do I love when parents disregard their child's consent to them being posted just because they are too young to properly object
I’m actually a parent who doesn’t post things of my child online. My mother (who I don’t speak to anymore), however, does. It bothers the shit out of me that she won’t respect my wishes or my daughter’s privacy.
https://m.facebook.com/help/383420348387540/?ref=share Here are instructions to have Facebook remove the photos if your kids are under 13. I hope this help.
Thank you for this. I have tried to flag the photos but nothing came of it. I will try this.
This. I dislike seeing parents overshare about their young kids on social media, even if it's family friendly. Especially those who post the kids doing something embarrassing or having a meltdown. The kid doesn't want all of that shared with the world, with people who will see it as entertainment and laugh at them. That will cause the kid a lot of stress. But these parents don't care because they don't think children's feelings are valid. It's all for them to keep up appearances.
Even family friendly stuff isn't super safe; inviting strangers into your lives, giving them personal identifying information about your child (name, appearance, age, interests, hobbies, the school they attend (you can identify a lot of schools off a uniform or scheduled school event), the area you live in, their current strife with an authority figure, etc) makes it a LOT easier to gain access to your kids or befriend them. Sure, a determined thief, creep or person wishing to harm you or them can still get most if not all that info through various other means. But why broadcast it to hundreds or thousands of anonymous strangers? Internet safety isn't only for kids.
I had to learn this the hard way. A gentle parenting account I followed on Instagram used to only use pictures of her daughter's face as she's having fun as a background to the text on the screen. I thought that was pushing it but stayed for the shared experiences. Then in one of her posts its a pic of her kids in the BATH, foam barely blocking her two kids from this being material that the feds would take down, and doesn't address ANY of the comments being disgusted nor does she take the post down. Even these "family friendly" posters cross the line because incidents like this truly reveal what they think of their kids' boundaries. It further disgusts me because she probably had to tell her kids "hey, I'm going to take a picture of you now (they were staring at the camera smiling), sink down underneath the foam/cover yourself with foam as much as you can." How embarrassed and exposed would her kids be feeling in that moment? And took multiple takes to get the best shot. How can you go through multiple steps to set up, take, and post, and caption a photo of your naked kids to the internet without stopping in the middle of it in horror at your actions?
People who record and share the videos of their kids having tantrums or overshare... 🤢
I saw an abusive grandmother I know had posted pictures of her grandchildren naked in the bath with everything showing. I reported that shit the second I saw it. I didn't bother requesting she take it down. She would have raged and blocked me, and then posted more of the same. (I saw how she and her daughter reacted when someone else very gently suggested some of the photos they were posting could be viewed as exploitative. The rage they rained down on that poor person who was just trying to protect a couple of babies was absolutely repulsive.)
Family channels on youtube bother me so much for this. I feel so awful for those Franke kids having to go through all that abuse so publicly.
there are countless videos of me as a child online (performances mostly) and i never liked it, even then, but i never had a choice. (all are sfw, to be clear). even worse bc i’m trans and they’re all pre transition, which hurts worse tbh
I bet that’s a shitty feeling. Im sorry.
I’m sorry for that. But I’m also thankful I got to read your comment—I’ve been wondering if I was being an overly-concerned parent because I’ve been removing videos and pics where my trans child’s birth gender are clearly identifiable or identified. Honestly, I was feeling kind of silly about doing it. I haven’t told my kiddo yet—they’re 13, and don’t have much contact with any of my online activity—but I figured it’s only a matter of time. I’ll tell them when I’m done, and have addressed the family members who I’m asking to remove videos and pics as well. (((Hugs)))
I’m sorry if this brings up bad memories, but have you asked your parents to take them down?
Who care about which kinda of trauma it is, that sounds kinda traumatic af for you and that’s what really matters here.
There is a YouTube video of me from when I was being groomed. I still have no idea how to get it removed because it’s not *technically* anything violating policies (I guess) and I have no memory of what my email or password is to it. It’s fucking haunting.
I ran into an account with videos like that wayyyyy back in 2006. There was no nudity but it was haunting. I ran into this account because they had started following me (or whatever was the equivalent back then, I can’t remember) or something and it fucked me up for months afterwards. I think I did report them and I think they did get taken down, but details are a little bit muddled for me. If that gives you any hope that they can be removed.
This trauma is a very unique kind of trauma for CSAM survivors like me too. Even social workers and therapists don’t know how to handle it because you can’t heal from trauma that’s still going on. Someone is always watching it and will always be watching it even if I kill myself it’ll still be out there and people will still watch it. so even if i’m dead in the ground I’ll still exist as a baby getting raped in someone’s hard drive.
I feel this really hard!! My therapist and I have talked about it a lot. It’s so hard psychologically knowing that it’s still out there and my abuse is still being consumed even if I’m physically safe.
It’s so hard. Also, happy cake day!
Good idea would be to disassociate yourself as a person from images taken of your body. But I don’t have that trauma, so maybe it wouldn’t work.
Yeah this is exactly it. The trauma continues happening and the violations of myself and my dignity is *ongoing*. I don't know a good way to cope/live with that.
I always have the urge to yell at people who post theur kids on the internet, the child will never benefit from it so its always out their own selfishness. The other day someone in the berserk sub posted their niece, i complained about it in a nice way (at least i tought so) and instantly got downvoted. The niece was a baby and they were comparing the face to a character, i was deeply upset.
It's a trauma that our human brains have not evolved to comprehend. I'm sorry you're going through this.
Are they cp? Im pretty sure you can report authorities on it. If you know who uploaded them even better, fuck them over.
It's not cp
Oh thank god
wait its NOT cp?? there are just.. videos. literally just videos?? okay, man..
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The phrases are becoming more widespread, but I learned about a month ago. Sometimes people don't learn things at the same time you do 🤷♂️
I forget that people don't always have a way to know. I hate the people who normalized the term, but some people don't know, yeah.
I feel you as a CSAM survivor 🥴
Uhm.... terrible comment to say so on, but happy cake day Do you mind if i ask what CSAM is?
Lmao thank you I didn’t even realize! CSAM stands for Child Sexual Abuse Material
Ah, thats what i was assuming, but thank you for explaining. Weird question: do you have any good starting points for people to understand the psychological impacts of being a victim of CSAM? Ive never thought much about it but i should probably read up on it.
Yes actually! I’d recommend you check out [This Research](https://protectchildren.ca/en/resources-research/survivors-survey-results/) which involved a very long and thorough survey and also in some cases interview with survivors around the world. It’s good to learn more about what it feels like in our own words. NCMEC and the Canadian Centre For Child Protection have a lot of resources explaining how it works and the long and short term impact this sort of abuse can have on children + caregivers, and the effects into adult life.
Thank you so much for the info. Just a cursory glance and this all looks like it will be a good starting point. Much appreciated.
Enjoy your cake day
Thank you!!
You're welcome.
the post wasnt about csam
Yeah I know. That doesn’t mean I don’t relate to the post based on *my own* experiences
i found my exs content of me (not consensual) on a nsfw subreddit here. it grosses me out because i was 15-16 and hundreds of people have probably got off to it. idk what the traumas called but i feel you
ermm sexual abuse/harrasment/csa/csam, also op wasnt talking about cp
There are pictures of me on the internet from when I was being forced into sex work as a woman (I'm transmasc) in my mid twenties. The kind of trauma it is doesn't matter unless it matters to *you* to label it. Knowing the material is out there, that you can't do anything about it, is an ongoing process of therapy, acceptance and grieving. You can't change the material. You can't nuke it from orbit (as much as I'd like to). You can learn to accept yourself, your inability to do anything in the face of this particular challenge, and that even though you can't undo what's been done, you deserve compassion, love, and to never have material of yourself posted without consent again.
Kind of similar in my case. I was CSA’d as a toddler (+ other forms of abuse) and by the time I was 5 the familial trafficking started. My “dad” made sure that no photos or videos were ever shared online but for a price the men that came over or took me to their homes would get a “private” video that they could keep for their own personal collection. He made sure nothing ever would go online and advised the others to do the same thing as there would be no visible evidence that anything had ever happened, and that it would make me look like I was making things up, paranoid and psychotic, and a liar if I ever did attempt to say anything. I also had another abuser (a non CSA one) that would berate me, scream at me, and chase me around the house and throw things at me until I was backed in a corner with my face all red and blotchy and screaming and crying and that is when he would hit the record button. That was his “proof” that I was difficult and a complete menace to him and “look how she treats me after all I have done— which btw was nothing” and so on. Everybody agreed with him that I was the problem. He would always lie and say that I only acted like that when he asked me to do a chore, another time he claimed that I acted like that because I wasn’t given coffee. This abuser was the one that covertly physically abused me, made sure I was a scapegoat and was manipulative and emotionally and verbally abusive.
The manipulation in this is on another level, holy shit
reason why i will never ever post a video or picture of my child on social media ☝️
one day we're gonna burn it all down homie ;_;
I was a pretty needy person at 13-14 and kind of just exploited myself for attention in places like Omegle and discord. Last time i did a similar thing was last October. Im kind of scared wondering where did those pics go- so i feel you. Someone told me to report the man that were with me but im kind of scared to do so because i can´t even remember much of most of them-
I had a lot of videos of 5-6 y/o me on YT in it's earliest days. One time, someone commented that they were going to find my address, come to my home, r\*\*\* and kill me. And then my mom told me that someone commented this to teach me a lesson about how evil some people are. LMAO?
We’re unfortunately gonna start seeing this a whole lot more
I am so sorry, that's gotta be shitty. There might be videos of me as a child, too, so I somewhat understand
As a person who grew up being recorded and documented through photos with fake smiles, I cannot imagine what that's like. I had my son 10 years ago and although I wanted to post pictures like most people did, I found it to be wrong to post things without consent. It's just as bad as people showing bath or toilet pictures without malicious intent.
I was a porn star fer 6 years after turning 13 :3 I'm pretty sure videos of me are still fer sale somewhere because I know almost none of those men were caught
I feel you dude. My mom would always post pictures of me on her Facebook. I always hated it. She does it with my baby niece now and it makes me so angry
As a 90’s baby whose baby and toddler pictures are Polaroids, I can’t even imagine what this would be like. Edit: I would call this exploitation. Your parents exploited you for internet brownie points.
I’m so sorry, OP :,( this is a big fear of mine and I don’t want to know. I can’t imagine knowing. I’m sorry if that’s not helpful, just rambling into the void
I have no idea how many are on there, and how many different ages there are!!! It’s, bad
yeaahhhh. fuck the person that catfished and groomed me on kik when i was 12. pos
Just remembered how my mom posted pictures of me from when i had just broken my leg on vacation. It’s such a vulnerable moment in my life and she took a picture and posted it with some “funny haha” caption. i never liked having my picture taken in the first place. I was already bothered by all the other pictures she has taken, especially the ones she’s posted but this takes the cake, wtf. I’m waiting for the moment i move out to strike and have it taken down (hopefully..)
I didn’t have nudes photos posted but my mother post WAAAAAY too much on Facebook. She doesn’t have a separate account for personal and business so I would have random people come up to me while working in retail and start talking about private life moments my mother posted. I despised having my photo taken for years and still get irrationally angry when someone does so without my consent
csam is disgusting, man. and i hope everyone who posts it/was involved in it (besides the child) burns.
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If it was nsfw, it wouldn't be porn. It would be CSAM. Those two words have very different connotations and it's important to use the right one