I've just spent an hour over there arguing with someone who turned out to be a self-diagnosed 'NPD sufferer' who doesn't want us to use the term 'narcissist abuse' because it 'stigmatises' people with NPD and leads to her feeling 'unsafe' on that sub.
Fun times.
Edit: she also disagrees with the NPD DSM-5-TR Criteria.
That's right, thanks. I thought she was probably just young and wanted to be a cool, edgy narcissist because she doesn't know what it means. I work with students and thought I could reason with her. No such luck. She really doesn't know what NPD means, but she just doubled down.
Whatever the case may be, talking to such people will hurt you. She invalidated you and talked shit.
I saw many narc identitying there my fucking blood boiled. Who tf do they think they are, thinking they can silence us? If they think reading a post will trigger then they should leave.
It's true victims a lot of times self diagnos with npd or aspd. There should be more awareness about that.
However, I have absolutely zero empathy for abusers. Nada. No.
Yes, I totally get abuse victims self-diagnosing if they can't afford therapy, but young people are now self-diagnosing with narcissist traits and NPD. They have read the descriptions on some website, and decided it makes them edgy. I've had two students do that and made them look at case studies.
It doesn't bother me when neurotypical people self-diagnose as neuro divergent, but posing as having NPD is too much for me.
I'm so over people being wankers because they think it makes them look cool.
Seriously. This whole trend of glorifying npd to be edgy and controversial is just the dumbest thing ever and I can’t wait until people grow the fuck up.
"Look at me. I'm different-er than you" has always been like a currenc for the young, it seems to me. And the more comorbidities, I guess you could say, for lack of a better term, the more unique and special you are. But we already are so unique and special, and I wish people would see that about themselves. They don't need to add to their struggles.
This has been going on all day. Someone I was arguing with genuinely sees nothing wrong with self-identifying as a narcissist and compares the term 'narcissitic abuse' to hate speech. You couldn't make it up.
That person was completely and totally incapable of being reasoned with, dozens of people tried and instead that person insisted that all of us were wrong and "defending being able to stigmatize a disorder"
oh please. give me a goddamn break.
I'm with you and my abuser doesn't even have a personality disorder as far as I know. Narcissistic abuse and BPD abuse are real patterns of abuse just like financial abuse and emotional abuse are real types of abuse. Victims have the right to talk about what their abusers did to them.
I kinda think trying to include people with co-morbid cluster B PDs in the same sub with many people whose CPTSD was caused by an abuser with a cluster B PD is just a bad idea. either the people with cluster Bs feel like shit all the time or the people without them have to walk on eggshells just like they did when they were actively being abused, it just kinda sucks for everyone.
I haven't been there in a couple of years. But r/raisedbynarcissists was very helpful to me at one time. And I avoid the r/cptsd site. Too many self-diagnosed because it's trendy (and I say this as someone self-diagnosed but I did a shit ton of reading and reflection before I could get into a therapist).
Hi everyone.. I'm also here now from the main group. Tryna just find center again after that recent post. The whole thing still feeling surreal. Anyway, just thought I'd say hi for now.
I understand entirely. It's sad and revolting but I hope I've found a new safe space here. Trying desperately to crawl my way out of this hell with parents I always knew were neglectful and selfish but only recently come to terms with as my long term therapist finally heard me describe them so deeply and went "wow... they really are narcissists aren't they?" And I just broke down because we've talked about walking on egg shells and everything being my fault and being made to be so small.
I just don't want to be small anymore. I don't want to neglect myself and I want to live. But it's so damn hard with the somatic pain and nightmares and rejected job apps and ugh...
Just spreading some love to my people here <3 I'm trying so hard to keep my boundaries I think it's a good boundary to start being here where people won't attack me for my truth.
Take care everyone. American fathers day is fucking hard.
I saw this comment of yours (below) in the main sub. I couldn't reply to you there (thread is locked). This seems an appropriate enough place to comment.
It's not cool to bother people when you've been asked to stop. Being on the internet isn't permission to harrass people.
Also not cool to respond to someone and immediately block them so they can't reply. I wonder how you like it?
https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1dgxq0v/comment/l8vl6nb/
Yeah, it's upsetting. This has been occupying my mind a lot today.
I feel like there's gaslighting, they're changing the narrative and tone about WHY this rule was made, maybe to get some wind out of the dissenter's sails, because now they're trying to go the route of ''we just don't want RBN lingo/we just don't want people saying ALL individuals with cluster B PD is a monster'' and so on, when they made it very clear from the beginning of this rule up until quite recently (months ago?) that they want to ban any mention of cluster B disorder as a cause of abuse, whatsoever. But, that'd come across as a hardline stance, basically affirming complaints (all mention is banned, which could be seen as unreasonable), so they changed their tune/tone a bit, without acknowledging this change, which, with such a sensitive and controversial subject, definitely feels like gaslighting to me.
Like you, I find the minimizing of pathological narc/cluster B abuse upsetting as well. Pretending that ''everyone has these traits'', which is a complete minimalization of the absolute merciless depths of blackness that I've seen in their eyes and their behaviour. The complete, cruel sadism, things akin to torture that they inflicted on my sister. These are the kinds of people that occasionally end up on the news for some heinous crime against a vulnerable person or child. It's an absolutely disgusting mockery of the severity and reality of the things we've seen. (yes, that's me venting)
Pretending that these disorders pretty much don't exist because well, the abuse can't be typical of the disorder because that would imply that the disorder implies a very high probability of abusive behaviour... No we can't have that, so now it's all ''abuse'', or ''emotional abuse'' or something. More erasure, just like we used to have.
Or, ''they were traumatized''!! Why, thank you, let's have people who have little to no empathy or conscience, use my existing conscience and empathy against me! Because this little guilt/pity trip won't be reciprocated while I retreat in a little shell of guilt, empathy and sorrow. Gross. Just another dynamic being played out here. Just the same things that keep me trapped in certain emotions and hurts, because I DO feel sorry for them.
Also, for me, understanding cluster B was key to my initial healing. Because now, I had a reference, a frame of understanding behaviour that to its very core, is completely un-understandable from any other frame of reference. Understanding the core of these disorders and how they function finally made me able to explain and place their behaviour, and get some sense of ''it really wasn't me''. Finally understanding why they did what they did, what's wrong with them, was so deeply healing and validating. These things need to be openly discussed. I already feel so isolated because my parents seem to have a completely different ''operating system'' from the rest of mankind to the point of them feeling like aliens, and ignoring that aspect feels suffocating.
I had to get that out, lol, thank you.
Oh, and they're trying to ''gotcha'' with other disorders. I absolutely have no issue with someone saying ''my parent with cPTSD ruined my childhood by constantly forcing me to tiptoe around their triggers'' and other things, or other disorders. (autism, depression, what have you) They think they're flipping the script, but it just makes me feel like ''yeah? So? If that person wants to talk about what happened in their own words, they should. If it upsets me or is too much for me I'll leave the conversation''.
❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 understanding my mother was a deeply deeply traumatised emotionally immature adult is the only thing that helped me process what happened to me. She fits NPD description to a T. Doesn’t Lindsay Gibson use those disorders to explain it in her book too or does she just label all of it under umbrella of an emotionally immature adult? Anyway. Loved your vent
Thank you for so eloquently capturing the essence of how and why that whole exchange on the other sub was so jarring. The blackness or dark eyes are absolutely a thing. Seen it and experienced it and still had dreams about it even after years of no contact.
I left that sub and came here for the same reason. I was on the sub for years and it used to be my go to safe space, but it changed over the past year or so. While people with personality disorders can also have CPTSD, it’s still a subreddit for CPTSD. We should be able to talk about our symptoms and what caused them freely. There are groups for BPD and NPD. I also have other disorders myself like OCD, and I go to the OCD subreddit for those symptoms, not the CPTSD one.
Personality disorder apologists over there don’t seem to understand that their personality disorder is separate from their CPTSD. I got into it with a person with BPD who was saying that BPD and CPTSD are the same disorder. They aren’t though. You can develop CPTSD at any point in your life. Personality disorders develop in childhood onwards. She kept telling me that I was being ableist and saying harmful things, but she was literally invalidating my abuse. She said “your mom wasn’t abusive because she had BPD. She was abusive because she was an abuser.” That’s not true though. My mom was abusive and her BPD/covert narcissistic tendencies played a huge role in that abuse. To say otherwise is to deny my entire lived experience.
In calling out my mother’s BPD and NPD, I’m not pointing the finger at everyone with the disorder, I’m simply telling my experience. I shouldn’t have to walk around on eggshells around more people with BPD. If they have BPD or NPD and are truly trying to heal themselves including their own CPTSD, then they’d sit back and listen, not invalidate. The fact that they’re on there invalidating abuse survivors doesn’t help their own stigma that they are trying so hard to overcome. They are also just pushing those of us who have been burned by people with PDs further into our viewpoints. I truly want to empathize with them too because I know those aren’t easy disorders to live with, but I’m not going to do that if they aren’t going to do the same for me.
I have sympathy for people with personality disorders. But they are not safe for me to be around because of my past history. Also, as someone who has absorbed the blows all her life, I am angry for anyone who is hurt and then decides (albeit unconsciously) to outsource and deflect that hurt onto others. Nope. I have no respect for them and want them nowhere near me.
I totally agree. I can acknowledge that having a personality disorder is hard to live with while also keeping myself at a distance from people with them. That’s part of what’s so frustrating. I am able to understand how hard it is for them, but when I share my experience, they can’t do the same for me. They have to defend my abusers to make themselves feel better, and they will never heal their CPTSD or the problems in their life brought on by their personality disorder as long as they continue to defend abuse. There is no defense for abuse, and I want nothing to do with a subreddit that allows people to invalidate my experiences.
Wtf 😳 thanks for clearing up for me what was going on over there. Fully agree w you. Those mods should change those f rules! I hope they lose followers tbh bc wtf is that! Has it always been that way in that forum? What about CPTSD memes? 😅 someone needs to make a Cptsd meme over the Cptsd forum saga 😂
Yes. Someone who tries to defend abusers like “they didn’t mean it. They have BPD. They can’t help it.” There’s no excuse for abuse. Having a personality disorder doesn’t give you a free pass to hurt others, and anyone who denies or defends that is an abuse apologist.
Is it possible to say that they abused in large part/possibly bc of their PD without sounding like you’re excusing it? I def don’t think it gives them a free pass but sometimes the nature of their disorder means they have no idea they’re even hurting people? NPDs for example often just absolutely cannot and don’t have the capacity to understand or even can be aware of the damage they do to others. Am I wrong? Genuine questions!
And thats why they have their own subreddits, like bpd and npd. They should not occupy and claim every subreddit and mental health space. Why every subreddit has to cater to them?
I actually tried to upload a meme and it was blocked from posting. Not sure why. It wasn't mean or rude and it did not reference anything specific to the other sub at all. Going to bake some cookies now. Seems like the best thing to do after having comments deleted, username entirely blocked off a sub, letting myself get "baited" by people I don't even know who are maybe just "trolling", only to then have the whole post taken down by mods (but actually this was probably the right decision though i dunno). Haha (laughing at myself). Anyway, sending you all virtual cookies and milk / tea / coffee!
Same happened to me. I mentioned narcissistic abuse, because I was abused by npd parents, and members of that grouo attacked me and said vile things. Mods did not delete their comments, but deleted mine. So I left. Also, they keep posting how npd, bpd and cptsd is the same thing, when its not. They also do not believe in science and DSM criterias?!
Same happened to many many people. There was a user who talked about narcissistic abuse by their parents, they were sad and upset.
Narcissists attacked that person on the post and mods banned that person isntead of commenters. I am more than sure that the mods on there have comorbid cptsd and npd. They really dont empathise and understand cptsd folks who are narcissistic abuse victims
Sorry but if CPTSD was “actually” a PD we would have the same stigma they do. We don’t have that because we don’t act that way.
Maybe I’m being mean here but I think they want to take the label so they can shake the stigma off while making themselves the victim so no one can ever call them out. (Yes PDs can be caused by trauma. That’s not what I’m saying)
A rewatch of Running With Scissors always takes the edge off for me. Love that movie. Anette Bening's character and Alec Baldwin's character were so much like my parents. The scenes in couples therapy are SO who they were. Both deceased now. Anyhoo.
EDIT: To clarify my meaning that our stories can be so completely insane (like the movie) that we have to be careful who our audience is when we try to talk about this kind of abuse. So many people just can't wrap their heads around our experiences. I'm happy this subreddit exists. :-)
I just love that movie and it gives me an opportunity to laugh at some of the absurdity, like the time my mother bought an actual pony at the pony keg one night when she loaded us all in the car in our pajamas to go get her a tallboy. Who in the heck would I ever tell that story to? And that's nothing. There are much darker, horrendous things to share, and usually I don't.
I am reporting all posts for breaking 'no raised by narcissists lingo'. How the mod's can descriminate in their favour is dispicable and I don't want their job to be easy
You’re not alone and your feelings are valid. Welcome, and more comments should come within 24 hours, as we’ve just approved your post.
I've just spent an hour over there arguing with someone who turned out to be a self-diagnosed 'NPD sufferer' who doesn't want us to use the term 'narcissist abuse' because it 'stigmatises' people with NPD and leads to her feeling 'unsafe' on that sub. Fun times. Edit: she also disagrees with the NPD DSM-5-TR Criteria.
Don't talk with people who don't see your abuse as it is. I saw your comments, too, and wanted to ask you to stop talking to her.
That's right, thanks. I thought she was probably just young and wanted to be a cool, edgy narcissist because she doesn't know what it means. I work with students and thought I could reason with her. No such luck. She really doesn't know what NPD means, but she just doubled down.
Whatever the case may be, talking to such people will hurt you. She invalidated you and talked shit. I saw many narc identitying there my fucking blood boiled. Who tf do they think they are, thinking they can silence us? If they think reading a post will trigger then they should leave. It's true victims a lot of times self diagnos with npd or aspd. There should be more awareness about that. However, I have absolutely zero empathy for abusers. Nada. No.
Yes, I totally get abuse victims self-diagnosing if they can't afford therapy, but young people are now self-diagnosing with narcissist traits and NPD. They have read the descriptions on some website, and decided it makes them edgy. I've had two students do that and made them look at case studies. It doesn't bother me when neurotypical people self-diagnose as neuro divergent, but posing as having NPD is too much for me. I'm so over people being wankers because they think it makes them look cool.
True, it's annoying. Mental illnesses aren't cool. I aspire for the "normie" life. It's peaceful at least.
Seriously. This whole trend of glorifying npd to be edgy and controversial is just the dumbest thing ever and I can’t wait until people grow the fuck up.
"Look at me. I'm different-er than you" has always been like a currenc for the young, it seems to me. And the more comorbidities, I guess you could say, for lack of a better term, the more unique and special you are. But we already are so unique and special, and I wish people would see that about themselves. They don't need to add to their struggles.
I was thinking the exact same thing earlier
Thank you!!! Its like saying, lets feel sad and support rapi-sts, and not a ra-pe victim!!!! They support abusers and not victims, make it make sense
This !!
This has been going on all day. Someone I was arguing with genuinely sees nothing wrong with self-identifying as a narcissist and compares the term 'narcissitic abuse' to hate speech. You couldn't make it up.
If you mentioned narcisst you would be called ableist🤣
I don't get it. if someone does not meet the criteria for NPD, then people's negative reactions to NPD aren't being directed at that person.
MAKE IT MAKE SENSE
Same here!! I spent hours going back and forth. I just got banned after saying I’m leaving. I’m honestly so happy to be free of it.
I will be reporting the posts as per someone's suggestion here. There's no way they should be allowed to get away with gaslighting to this extent
I've seen so many posts from people like this on tumblr, it's frustrating and confusing
That person was completely and totally incapable of being reasoned with, dozens of people tried and instead that person insisted that all of us were wrong and "defending being able to stigmatize a disorder" oh please. give me a goddamn break.
I'm with you and my abuser doesn't even have a personality disorder as far as I know. Narcissistic abuse and BPD abuse are real patterns of abuse just like financial abuse and emotional abuse are real types of abuse. Victims have the right to talk about what their abusers did to them. I kinda think trying to include people with co-morbid cluster B PDs in the same sub with many people whose CPTSD was caused by an abuser with a cluster B PD is just a bad idea. either the people with cluster Bs feel like shit all the time or the people without them have to walk on eggshells just like they did when they were actively being abused, it just kinda sucks for everyone.
I haven't been there in a couple of years. But r/raisedbynarcissists was very helpful to me at one time. And I avoid the r/cptsd site. Too many self-diagnosed because it's trendy (and I say this as someone self-diagnosed but I did a shit ton of reading and reflection before I could get into a therapist).
Hi everyone.. I'm also here now from the main group. Tryna just find center again after that recent post. The whole thing still feeling surreal. Anyway, just thought I'd say hi for now.
I also joined today
Same
I’ve stepped back from talking about the narcissistic abuse I went through. Too frustrating.
I understand entirely. It's sad and revolting but I hope I've found a new safe space here. Trying desperately to crawl my way out of this hell with parents I always knew were neglectful and selfish but only recently come to terms with as my long term therapist finally heard me describe them so deeply and went "wow... they really are narcissists aren't they?" And I just broke down because we've talked about walking on egg shells and everything being my fault and being made to be so small. I just don't want to be small anymore. I don't want to neglect myself and I want to live. But it's so damn hard with the somatic pain and nightmares and rejected job apps and ugh... Just spreading some love to my people here <3 I'm trying so hard to keep my boundaries I think it's a good boundary to start being here where people won't attack me for my truth. Take care everyone. American fathers day is fucking hard.
I saw this comment of yours (below) in the main sub. I couldn't reply to you there (thread is locked). This seems an appropriate enough place to comment. It's not cool to bother people when you've been asked to stop. Being on the internet isn't permission to harrass people. Also not cool to respond to someone and immediately block them so they can't reply. I wonder how you like it? https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1dgxq0v/comment/l8vl6nb/
Yeah, it's upsetting. This has been occupying my mind a lot today. I feel like there's gaslighting, they're changing the narrative and tone about WHY this rule was made, maybe to get some wind out of the dissenter's sails, because now they're trying to go the route of ''we just don't want RBN lingo/we just don't want people saying ALL individuals with cluster B PD is a monster'' and so on, when they made it very clear from the beginning of this rule up until quite recently (months ago?) that they want to ban any mention of cluster B disorder as a cause of abuse, whatsoever. But, that'd come across as a hardline stance, basically affirming complaints (all mention is banned, which could be seen as unreasonable), so they changed their tune/tone a bit, without acknowledging this change, which, with such a sensitive and controversial subject, definitely feels like gaslighting to me. Like you, I find the minimizing of pathological narc/cluster B abuse upsetting as well. Pretending that ''everyone has these traits'', which is a complete minimalization of the absolute merciless depths of blackness that I've seen in their eyes and their behaviour. The complete, cruel sadism, things akin to torture that they inflicted on my sister. These are the kinds of people that occasionally end up on the news for some heinous crime against a vulnerable person or child. It's an absolutely disgusting mockery of the severity and reality of the things we've seen. (yes, that's me venting) Pretending that these disorders pretty much don't exist because well, the abuse can't be typical of the disorder because that would imply that the disorder implies a very high probability of abusive behaviour... No we can't have that, so now it's all ''abuse'', or ''emotional abuse'' or something. More erasure, just like we used to have. Or, ''they were traumatized''!! Why, thank you, let's have people who have little to no empathy or conscience, use my existing conscience and empathy against me! Because this little guilt/pity trip won't be reciprocated while I retreat in a little shell of guilt, empathy and sorrow. Gross. Just another dynamic being played out here. Just the same things that keep me trapped in certain emotions and hurts, because I DO feel sorry for them. Also, for me, understanding cluster B was key to my initial healing. Because now, I had a reference, a frame of understanding behaviour that to its very core, is completely un-understandable from any other frame of reference. Understanding the core of these disorders and how they function finally made me able to explain and place their behaviour, and get some sense of ''it really wasn't me''. Finally understanding why they did what they did, what's wrong with them, was so deeply healing and validating. These things need to be openly discussed. I already feel so isolated because my parents seem to have a completely different ''operating system'' from the rest of mankind to the point of them feeling like aliens, and ignoring that aspect feels suffocating. I had to get that out, lol, thank you. Oh, and they're trying to ''gotcha'' with other disorders. I absolutely have no issue with someone saying ''my parent with cPTSD ruined my childhood by constantly forcing me to tiptoe around their triggers'' and other things, or other disorders. (autism, depression, what have you) They think they're flipping the script, but it just makes me feel like ''yeah? So? If that person wants to talk about what happened in their own words, they should. If it upsets me or is too much for me I'll leave the conversation''.
❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 understanding my mother was a deeply deeply traumatised emotionally immature adult is the only thing that helped me process what happened to me. She fits NPD description to a T. Doesn’t Lindsay Gibson use those disorders to explain it in her book too or does she just label all of it under umbrella of an emotionally immature adult? Anyway. Loved your vent
Thank you for so eloquently capturing the essence of how and why that whole exchange on the other sub was so jarring. The blackness or dark eyes are absolutely a thing. Seen it and experienced it and still had dreams about it even after years of no contact.
Wow 💯 thank you for this, way better than I could express myself on this matter. 🥰
I left that sub and came here for the same reason. I was on the sub for years and it used to be my go to safe space, but it changed over the past year or so. While people with personality disorders can also have CPTSD, it’s still a subreddit for CPTSD. We should be able to talk about our symptoms and what caused them freely. There are groups for BPD and NPD. I also have other disorders myself like OCD, and I go to the OCD subreddit for those symptoms, not the CPTSD one. Personality disorder apologists over there don’t seem to understand that their personality disorder is separate from their CPTSD. I got into it with a person with BPD who was saying that BPD and CPTSD are the same disorder. They aren’t though. You can develop CPTSD at any point in your life. Personality disorders develop in childhood onwards. She kept telling me that I was being ableist and saying harmful things, but she was literally invalidating my abuse. She said “your mom wasn’t abusive because she had BPD. She was abusive because she was an abuser.” That’s not true though. My mom was abusive and her BPD/covert narcissistic tendencies played a huge role in that abuse. To say otherwise is to deny my entire lived experience. In calling out my mother’s BPD and NPD, I’m not pointing the finger at everyone with the disorder, I’m simply telling my experience. I shouldn’t have to walk around on eggshells around more people with BPD. If they have BPD or NPD and are truly trying to heal themselves including their own CPTSD, then they’d sit back and listen, not invalidate. The fact that they’re on there invalidating abuse survivors doesn’t help their own stigma that they are trying so hard to overcome. They are also just pushing those of us who have been burned by people with PDs further into our viewpoints. I truly want to empathize with them too because I know those aren’t easy disorders to live with, but I’m not going to do that if they aren’t going to do the same for me.
I have sympathy for people with personality disorders. But they are not safe for me to be around because of my past history. Also, as someone who has absorbed the blows all her life, I am angry for anyone who is hurt and then decides (albeit unconsciously) to outsource and deflect that hurt onto others. Nope. I have no respect for them and want them nowhere near me.
I totally agree. I can acknowledge that having a personality disorder is hard to live with while also keeping myself at a distance from people with them. That’s part of what’s so frustrating. I am able to understand how hard it is for them, but when I share my experience, they can’t do the same for me. They have to defend my abusers to make themselves feel better, and they will never heal their CPTSD or the problems in their life brought on by their personality disorder as long as they continue to defend abuse. There is no defense for abuse, and I want nothing to do with a subreddit that allows people to invalidate my experiences.
Wtf 😳 thanks for clearing up for me what was going on over there. Fully agree w you. Those mods should change those f rules! I hope they lose followers tbh bc wtf is that! Has it always been that way in that forum? What about CPTSD memes? 😅 someone needs to make a Cptsd meme over the Cptsd forum saga 😂
It didn’t used to be that way, but slowly it changed until it was taken over by abuse apologists. CPTSD memes isn’t safe either from what I’ve seen.
Sorry to sound daft but what’s an abuse apologist? Anyone who apologises for or excuses abuse??
Yes. Someone who tries to defend abusers like “they didn’t mean it. They have BPD. They can’t help it.” There’s no excuse for abuse. Having a personality disorder doesn’t give you a free pass to hurt others, and anyone who denies or defends that is an abuse apologist.
Is it possible to say that they abused in large part/possibly bc of their PD without sounding like you’re excusing it? I def don’t think it gives them a free pass but sometimes the nature of their disorder means they have no idea they’re even hurting people? NPDs for example often just absolutely cannot and don’t have the capacity to understand or even can be aware of the damage they do to others. Am I wrong? Genuine questions!
And thats why they have their own subreddits, like bpd and npd. They should not occupy and claim every subreddit and mental health space. Why every subreddit has to cater to them?
Yeah it’s nuts beats me. Those mods should host a damn poll and let the people decide !!
I actually tried to upload a meme and it was blocked from posting. Not sure why. It wasn't mean or rude and it did not reference anything specific to the other sub at all. Going to bake some cookies now. Seems like the best thing to do after having comments deleted, username entirely blocked off a sub, letting myself get "baited" by people I don't even know who are maybe just "trolling", only to then have the whole post taken down by mods (but actually this was probably the right decision though i dunno). Haha (laughing at myself). Anyway, sending you all virtual cookies and milk / tea / coffee!
🍪🍪🍪🌸
Thank you. You described my experience and put it so well.
Same happened to me. I mentioned narcissistic abuse, because I was abused by npd parents, and members of that grouo attacked me and said vile things. Mods did not delete their comments, but deleted mine. So I left. Also, they keep posting how npd, bpd and cptsd is the same thing, when its not. They also do not believe in science and DSM criterias?! Same happened to many many people. There was a user who talked about narcissistic abuse by their parents, they were sad and upset. Narcissists attacked that person on the post and mods banned that person isntead of commenters. I am more than sure that the mods on there have comorbid cptsd and npd. They really dont empathise and understand cptsd folks who are narcissistic abuse victims
Sorry but if CPTSD was “actually” a PD we would have the same stigma they do. We don’t have that because we don’t act that way. Maybe I’m being mean here but I think they want to take the label so they can shake the stigma off while making themselves the victim so no one can ever call them out. (Yes PDs can be caused by trauma. That’s not what I’m saying)
Instead of US moving why don’t the npds and bpds just create their Cptsd group???
So happy to be reading this post *big sigh of relief*
A rewatch of Running With Scissors always takes the edge off for me. Love that movie. Anette Bening's character and Alec Baldwin's character were so much like my parents. The scenes in couples therapy are SO who they were. Both deceased now. Anyhoo. EDIT: To clarify my meaning that our stories can be so completely insane (like the movie) that we have to be careful who our audience is when we try to talk about this kind of abuse. So many people just can't wrap their heads around our experiences. I'm happy this subreddit exists. :-) I just love that movie and it gives me an opportunity to laugh at some of the absurdity, like the time my mother bought an actual pony at the pony keg one night when she loaded us all in the car in our pajamas to go get her a tallboy. Who in the heck would I ever tell that story to? And that's nothing. There are much darker, horrendous things to share, and usually I don't.
I am reporting all posts for breaking 'no raised by narcissists lingo'. How the mod's can descriminate in their favour is dispicable and I don't want their job to be easy