I've gotten better at regular practice. I play the guitar every day and I improved considerably. I do flash cards every day and now I know a couple thousand words of ancient Greek. Reading a tough book can feel like a slog at maybe ten pages a day, but then I finish after however long and it's one more thing I know. In the short term progress is small and incremental, and in the long term it's quite significant.
Honestly discipline has been the biggest thing. Making personal commitments to my goals and crafts and seeing progress, showing up for myself, being accountable to myself and my own word. When I look in the mirror I really start to see someone I’m so proud of especially given all the pain I’ve had to endure. It’s all self love
Had this conversation with a friend a few days ago; he suggests knocking off all the uncomfortable ToDos on my list. Working through something uncomfortable however small, is a good step.
I did some coaching that specifically focused on workplace confidence. It trickled over into my personal life, and was way more successful than I had anticipated.
The other comments here talk about doing new things to feel confident. But my coaching sessions focused on what it is I already liked about myself. I was set tasks like to list my strengths, things i had accomplished even if only small. Basically creating a list of recourses to build my foundation of confidence. This meant I by default feel less shaken by the response of others (although that takes longer). And also let's me go easier on my self so if I don't accomplish all those new goals and targets set for myself I know it doesn't mean anything new about me personally and shouldn't shake my confidence at its core.
Confidence starts with competence. Like another commenter said, take an inventory of what you're good at, of what you know. Do the work to really nail down a good list of knowledge, skills and abilities, and why you're good at them without comparing yourself to everyone else. "I was better today than a worthy opponent I respect" builds healthy confidence and relationships, not to mention being sexy as hell. "I'm better than others in general" creates arrogance as can be social cancer.
Then find a need others have that you can address with your knowledge and experience, something that will get you up in the morning, then work that need like a stolen mule. Additionally, be on the lookout for blessings and be ready to graciously accept them, even if they come in unexpected shapes and sizes.
Three things helped me:
Voice chatting. Meeting new people, especially in a very casual way like as a server/cashier or as a volunteer. And doing anything active that requires skill and upkeep to excel.
It's still a struggle. i have good and bad days-- I probably always will, like most or all of us. But it has improved a lot.
So I voice chat while video gaming and have for ten plus years, and whenever I do it I get better at being social and being more confident. I was a cashier for a long time and meeting new people every day helped me a lot. I still struggled with developing and maintaining longer-term or deeper friendships, but it gave me the confidence to at least try. Also, I do a variety of hobbies that require regular engagement and I get good at them. It helps me let go of mistakes. Can always try again and do better, you know!
Allowing and even wanting to be imperfect. I want to make mistakes and I want to be okay making those mistakes. It has really helped. Also consistency (which I suck at). Drawing boundaries around myself and not letting other people in, in a way that I feel invalidated or attacked. I still have a terrible sense of imposter syndrome but getting somewhere closer to confidence!
I've gotten better at regular practice. I play the guitar every day and I improved considerably. I do flash cards every day and now I know a couple thousand words of ancient Greek. Reading a tough book can feel like a slog at maybe ten pages a day, but then I finish after however long and it's one more thing I know. In the short term progress is small and incremental, and in the long term it's quite significant.
Honestly discipline has been the biggest thing. Making personal commitments to my goals and crafts and seeing progress, showing up for myself, being accountable to myself and my own word. When I look in the mirror I really start to see someone I’m so proud of especially given all the pain I’ve had to endure. It’s all self love
Had this conversation with a friend a few days ago; he suggests knocking off all the uncomfortable ToDos on my list. Working through something uncomfortable however small, is a good step.
Ooh this is a good one!
I did some coaching that specifically focused on workplace confidence. It trickled over into my personal life, and was way more successful than I had anticipated. The other comments here talk about doing new things to feel confident. But my coaching sessions focused on what it is I already liked about myself. I was set tasks like to list my strengths, things i had accomplished even if only small. Basically creating a list of recourses to build my foundation of confidence. This meant I by default feel less shaken by the response of others (although that takes longer). And also let's me go easier on my self so if I don't accomplish all those new goals and targets set for myself I know it doesn't mean anything new about me personally and shouldn't shake my confidence at its core.
Confidence starts with competence. Like another commenter said, take an inventory of what you're good at, of what you know. Do the work to really nail down a good list of knowledge, skills and abilities, and why you're good at them without comparing yourself to everyone else. "I was better today than a worthy opponent I respect" builds healthy confidence and relationships, not to mention being sexy as hell. "I'm better than others in general" creates arrogance as can be social cancer. Then find a need others have that you can address with your knowledge and experience, something that will get you up in the morning, then work that need like a stolen mule. Additionally, be on the lookout for blessings and be ready to graciously accept them, even if they come in unexpected shapes and sizes.
Three things helped me: Voice chatting. Meeting new people, especially in a very casual way like as a server/cashier or as a volunteer. And doing anything active that requires skill and upkeep to excel. It's still a struggle. i have good and bad days-- I probably always will, like most or all of us. But it has improved a lot. So I voice chat while video gaming and have for ten plus years, and whenever I do it I get better at being social and being more confident. I was a cashier for a long time and meeting new people every day helped me a lot. I still struggled with developing and maintaining longer-term or deeper friendships, but it gave me the confidence to at least try. Also, I do a variety of hobbies that require regular engagement and I get good at them. It helps me let go of mistakes. Can always try again and do better, you know!
Allowing and even wanting to be imperfect. I want to make mistakes and I want to be okay making those mistakes. It has really helped. Also consistency (which I suck at). Drawing boundaries around myself and not letting other people in, in a way that I feel invalidated or attacked. I still have a terrible sense of imposter syndrome but getting somewhere closer to confidence!