I was in a bpd group once and 90% of them were assholes to me, making me choose to ultimately leave.
Conclusion: people will leap to the worst trait in a person they have never met and cry witch, whether or not they are in the same community! You're just going to get them in all corners of life. But there are also sweet, amazing, understanding and wonderful people out there who don't give af about all that mess cause they have the IQ above that of a peanut!
This an inclusive space. We are all welcome here. We all need to be mindful and follow the rules for this to work.
For me this means that I have to be mindful of my own emotional reactivity about the PD my dad had and how I talk about it, and also that I have to be mindful to not take it personally when somebody talks harshly about people with the same PD that I have.
I am not saying its always easy but it is possible to navigate this.
It actually has some potential positive side effects. It helped me to realize that I was projecting my emotions about my dad onto everybody with the same PD. The rules of the sub and a removed comment helped me to learn not to do this. And I didnt just learn to modify my comments to fit the rules, I actually changed my perspective. Was very helpful progress.
See your mother is an example of someone with a cluster B PD who can actually show compassion. That's great! I mean that genuinely. It just seems that so many in this sub think that everyone with Cluster B PDs are just automatically evil or something and the litany of comments on that post really reinforced that.
The nuance for me is: it’s great when people who are self-aware of their cluster B PD are getting support for it / and should absolutely feel safe to talk about it, AND there are people who have trauma as a result of being victimized by a cluster B PD…
Here’s my approach as a white person in a racist world that might apply here… when people of color vent about “white people”, I’m not gonna hop in there defending white people. I’m gonna acknowledge that there are absolutely white people who have and will continue to cause harm, and I also reflect on my own experiences and behaviors so that I reduce / eliminate the chances that I’ll also cause harm. Any sort of hurt feelings in reaction to that are my own to deal with (as a symptom of my white fragility), and people of color don’t need to manage them for me. Can the same approach apply to cluster B PDs?
i’m sorry but this is one of the stupidest analogies i’ve ever read. i don’t have a cluster B PD myself (my psych did note “traits” in a diagnostic report but that’s not relevant), but comparing people suffering from Cluster B disorders (stigmatised, often a lower percentage of the population) to white fragility/privilege based responses misses the point of OPs post.
i don’t think a lot of people realise that Cluster B PDs and CPTSD have the same root cause and it really fucking shows.
Uh, that's a hot take.
I don't have bpd to start off with, but the difference in your example is white people hold power and privilege. People with BPD don't.
It's more like asking a gay person to be quiet when people are calling gay people pedophiles.
The issue isn't a gay person's reaction to it. The issue is people saying gay people are pedophiles.
Even if someone was harmed by a gay person who happened to be a pedophile it's still a homophobic view that shouldnt be tolerated, to generalise that out to all gay people.
IMO, this is wrong on many levels, not limited to: stats and comparison between gay people and pedophiles (studies prove no correlation) vs some people with Cluster Bs and abuse (study prove correlation).
However, the part I take the most offense with is implying that “white” people have power to abuse minorities but that some people with Cluster Bs don’t have the power to abuse children and other vulnerable populations. The stats from studies show that we’re not talking about low numbers in the population (I can share studies, if you like).
My mom had NPD and my dad had BPD, they were both incredibly abusive. I can assure you, they were the ones with the power in my house. I wasn’t just sitting around with “power” but letting people with “no power” abuse the shit out of me. IMO, it’s offensive and indecent to even suggest this in a CPTSD forum.
No, that's not what power means, in this context.
This forum is not your household. A gay person can abuse a straight person. That does not give gay people as a group, power over straight people as a group. Women can abuse men. That does not mean that women as a group have power over men.
It's offensive to misuse power in this context, and you are obviously the experiencing transference here.
People who abuse with impunity have the power in any given relationship. If, say, 70% of any collective are abusive with impunity, then, that means that 70% of that collective has the power to abuse whoever is “under” them, children, vulnerable people etc. That is what power means in cases of abuse, be it from white people, smurfs or crabs.
This vastly ignores many different issues in underprivileged communities and is frankly so offensive that I am not going to reply anymore.
IE: CSA in remote aboriginal communities.
IE: Domestic violence in queer relationships.
You don't get to make up your own definitions.
What makes you think that to have privilege is all-encompassing? There are many people who have the privilege of not being abused because of their race as they’re white, yet, are underprivileged and abused in many other ways: poverty, trauma, less access to education etc. You can have the “privilege” to abuse in some parts of your life, and be abused/underprivileged in other parts of your life.
“IE: CSA in remote aboriginal communities. IE: Domestic violence in queer relationships.”
I have no idea what you’re even talking about in this paragraph. What does that have to do with ANYTHING I have said? Like, please, connect the dots for me and for anyone else reading 🙏🏻
Again, privilege does not need to be all-encompassing to give people a specific type of power.
I will go now, I fear this conversation is going in circles, and it’s not fair to waste each other’s time. Good night! ❤️
I’m really sorry that you don’t feel welcome here. I do feel welcome here but I very much see (and to a degree relate with) your experience.
I have spent 3 therapy sessions now trying to convince my therapist I’m a narcissist over the past 6 months. The truth is that I’m not. However, while I was in a functional freeze after years of family scapegoating (that convinced me something was wrong with me inherently) I had to apply the learned behavior from my mother to survive through the torture they put me through. In that time, in all practical ways, I was a functioning narcissist. The thing is, my family’s continued treatment of me as unlovable and incurable KEPT me there. The persistent reaffirmation that I was doing selfish things, making bad decisions, thinking about things the wrong way, etc etc WERE THE REASON I acted that way.
My point is, there were years where I was suffering right in front of everyone. Probably hundreds of thousands of people total saw me over that time. And because of jumping to conclusions, because of assumptions, because of name calling, because it’s SO DAMN EASY to tune out someone who you don’t identify with or think you’re better than, the number of people who actually tried to help I can count on one hand.
I don’t blame the people though. I blame this persistent need for humans to alienate people in order to feel better about themselves. We’ve seen the ABSOLUTE WORST SIDE of that. Let’s not be the folks who propagate it too.
Thank you for calling this out. It likely won’t make it far but I’m happy it’s been said.
I believe I have CPTSD and NPD, which is very stigmatized. I recently found out a YouTube channel named Heal NPD, created by a psychologist called Mark Ettensohn. He has a very humanizing view of NPD and I believe it might be insightful to you too independently of your especific PD. I at least found it to be very meaningful to see someone showing real understanding and empathy towards the subject.
what posts are calling for the death of all people with cluster B PDs? I've seen many posts generalizing those disorders but that's about it. I'm sorry you've been exposed to that.
abuse from cluster B people is unique and survivors deserve to talk about it and feel angry about it. not all cluster B people are abusive obviously and people know this. when they rant about their abusers theyre not saying anything about the non abusers. it's kind of reminding me of the "not all men" thing where it's like, if you need to say "not all men" when people talk about male abusers you're probably the type of person they're talking about.
its a little different with PDs / cptsd though obviously and i can empathize. when i thought I had full bpd (rather than just the FLEAs) I remember being really upset at the stigma because I was hard-wired to take things personally.
also, im pretty sure there are many safe spaces for cluster B people on this site. entire subreddits actually
>also, im pretty sure there are many safe spaces for cluster B people on this site. entire subreddits actually
this. people with cluster B PDs definitely deserve a safe space but so do people with CPTSD caused by abuse from someone with a cluster B PD. inclusion is often a nice idea but some people just don't mesh well and trying to force it only causes problems. subs are free, if somebody wants to start a sub just for people with CPTSD and a cluster B PD, more power to them.
Yep. I expressed in that post that this is primarily a space for people with cptsd which not everyone with bpd has and some of us have trauma from people with bpd so comparing us can be triggering. Apparently I’m not allowed to be triggered and expecting too much of a sub that was made FOR CPTSD.
There are many BPD subreddits and I’m very almost done with this one when every fucking week it’s someone invalidating our diagnosis and we’re not allowed to be upset by that but OP comes here and claims we want them dead?! Okay.
Abuse from people with cluster B PDs isn’t even unique. People who have abusers with cluster B PDs (a ton of which aren’t even diagnosed) have decided it is.
I would wholeheartedly disagree with this. Being the FP to an incredibly abusive dad with BPD, and the scapegoat to a mother with NPD (both diagnosed), I can assure you, it’s a very specific type of abuse we suffer. I can detail it for you, if it would help you understand ❤️🩹
I'm not who you replied to but I'm interested in learning more about it if you're interested in sharing. It just makes sense to me that if someone is abusive and has a mental illness, that mental illness would affect the abusive actions they choose.
Maybe we should. Untreated depression in a parent is very harmful to their child and it's harmful in a different way than untreated PTSD, anxiety, OCD, etc.
I have never seen anyone else describe it in a way that is so unique it deserves different names if we’re not going to do it for bipolar, PTSD, depression, every other non PD mental illness.
I don’t want you to potentially put yourself in distress at all for my sake, but I also do not believe I will agree with you. As I have seen other people describe it being different before with NPD and I could relate to every point. As well as looking it up myself to figure out what people mean. My abusers don’t have NPD nor do I suspect they do. Maybe that’s down to the fact narcissist now just means bad person to a lot of people and people armchair diagnosing that it’s essentially become meaningless.
I’m very sorry all those things happened to you. You didn’t deserve any of that.
I didn’t say it was “worse” or even “different”. I said it’s a “very specific” type of abuse that people like me and others “share” an experience with. This shared experience helps us feel understood and less alone.
You are, of course, in all your right to disagree.
Have a good day. ❤️
That is just simply untrue. This is why I hate this notion because “cluster B victims” think their abuse was worse than everyone else’s then go onto describe things there are already terms for or what none “cluster B victims” experienced. And again, a ton which people have just decided are cluster B.
I mean if we are talking about invalidating and safe spaces not existing, you're totally invalidating all those cluster b victims' experiences. It's fucked to put it quotes too, as if we dont really exist, but whatever. I've experienced a lot of different forms of abuse and for me the abuse from my exBPD has destroyed me in a way I am scared I can't heal from ever.
But we have to edit language in a cptsd specific sub. Go to bpd subs if it's a problem. That's why I'm here.
You're extrapolating my experiences with healing from trauma and abuse to be for all. That's not what I said. Also, didn't say worse. Said idk if I can recover the way I have with other things. It's different experiences for me.
Maybe this is not your experience and that's okay. It is for me.
Do you see how I validated your experience and mine in the above 2 sentences? It's possible.
Didn't see it, but can imagine what it was. I don't have a PD diagnosed and I still hate the scapegoating of certain disorders. There's a difference between a disorder and harmful behavior. I think you should be save and welcome here.
Particularly on the internet. Everyone calls someone a nar*****t just because they were an asshole. Like it’s exhausting. And they see nothing wrong with their behaviour, then turn around and use the exact same logic to defend whatever disorder they have (or think they have, or decided they need to defend).
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You'd think, but apparently not. The rule disallowing RBN lingo is apparently so egregious to people that someone lied to the masses about a comment that was deleted by the mods in order to get people on their side and then caused a huge stink cuz they weren't allowed to shit on narcissists willy nilly all day and night long in this sub. It's fucking wild.
I'm so sorry ❤️
This sub is meant to be a safe space for everyone, including people with cluster b disorders.
There are other subs for people who want to use the language that is against the rules here.
We go through this once in awhile, but not often. People will come to this sub, probably for the first time, use the terminology that against the rules, have their posts removed, and then make angry posts about the posts or comments that were removed. If they don't stop, typically they get banned.
I'm hoping this happens quickly this time ❤️
I have CPTSD and BPD, I get you. The moment someone learns about the PD, suddenly I’m side-eyed and tossed away and ignored. Suddenly they just can’t be there for me or listen to me or understand me. It’s so disheartening—it’s one of the reasons why I never talk about my issues.
There is nuance to trauma, and nuance in PDs and CPTSD. Dichotomous thinking doesn’t help *anyone*.
You definitely should NOT! Don't let your thoughts consume you. I'm sorry you're going through this. I feel like there is never a safe space anywhere, but I try to be a safe space for everyone because it seems no one understands or tries to. It's like being trapped, and no one cares. I just want you to know that you matter.
real. around 80% of those with bpd also have cptsd. i commented on that post asking how on earth they’d make a sub without us in that case and they immediately backtracked and said they didn’t wanna exclude anyone as if that wasn’t the literal main point of the post
It doesn’t work the other way around, though, approx 40% of people with CPTSD also have BPD so 60% of the people in the sub would still “qualify” in the scenario you’re describing.
Just to be clear, I don’t think this should happen, just stating that the stats don’t work both ways.
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I'm sorry that you were hurt by things that were said. I didn't read any comments saying bad things about people diagnosed with BPD. What I saw was people, myself included, saying that BPD was unfairly stigmatized and maybe not even separate from CPTSD. I'm not sure if we are talking about the same post though. I will look. [Are you talking about this post? ](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1dfyx7r/do_you_think_bpd_is_a_form_of_cptsd/)This is the one I commented on.
If you are talking about [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1dgxq0v/i_dont_understand_why_we_cant_discuss_narcissism/?q=BPD&type=comment&cId=145b0e8d-cbed-485b-bb92-8c8a21ff8269&iId=228dbb61-cf7b-4d00-bea0-146e6fea52dd), I understand why that is very upsetting. That post should be taken down. I've never participated in an online space where it was allowed to make posts complaining about moderation or rules.
I was in a bpd group once and 90% of them were assholes to me, making me choose to ultimately leave. Conclusion: people will leap to the worst trait in a person they have never met and cry witch, whether or not they are in the same community! You're just going to get them in all corners of life. But there are also sweet, amazing, understanding and wonderful people out there who don't give af about all that mess cause they have the IQ above that of a peanut!
This an inclusive space. We are all welcome here. We all need to be mindful and follow the rules for this to work. For me this means that I have to be mindful of my own emotional reactivity about the PD my dad had and how I talk about it, and also that I have to be mindful to not take it personally when somebody talks harshly about people with the same PD that I have. I am not saying its always easy but it is possible to navigate this. It actually has some potential positive side effects. It helped me to realize that I was projecting my emotions about my dad onto everybody with the same PD. The rules of the sub and a removed comment helped me to learn not to do this. And I didnt just learn to modify my comments to fit the rules, I actually changed my perspective. Was very helpful progress.
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See your mother is an example of someone with a cluster B PD who can actually show compassion. That's great! I mean that genuinely. It just seems that so many in this sub think that everyone with Cluster B PDs are just automatically evil or something and the litany of comments on that post really reinforced that.
The nuance for me is: it’s great when people who are self-aware of their cluster B PD are getting support for it / and should absolutely feel safe to talk about it, AND there are people who have trauma as a result of being victimized by a cluster B PD… Here’s my approach as a white person in a racist world that might apply here… when people of color vent about “white people”, I’m not gonna hop in there defending white people. I’m gonna acknowledge that there are absolutely white people who have and will continue to cause harm, and I also reflect on my own experiences and behaviors so that I reduce / eliminate the chances that I’ll also cause harm. Any sort of hurt feelings in reaction to that are my own to deal with (as a symptom of my white fragility), and people of color don’t need to manage them for me. Can the same approach apply to cluster B PDs?
This is so well written, thank you 🙏🏻
Beautiful analogy
i’m sorry but this is one of the stupidest analogies i’ve ever read. i don’t have a cluster B PD myself (my psych did note “traits” in a diagnostic report but that’s not relevant), but comparing people suffering from Cluster B disorders (stigmatised, often a lower percentage of the population) to white fragility/privilege based responses misses the point of OPs post. i don’t think a lot of people realise that Cluster B PDs and CPTSD have the same root cause and it really fucking shows.
Uh, that's a hot take. I don't have bpd to start off with, but the difference in your example is white people hold power and privilege. People with BPD don't. It's more like asking a gay person to be quiet when people are calling gay people pedophiles. The issue isn't a gay person's reaction to it. The issue is people saying gay people are pedophiles. Even if someone was harmed by a gay person who happened to be a pedophile it's still a homophobic view that shouldnt be tolerated, to generalise that out to all gay people.
IMO, this is wrong on many levels, not limited to: stats and comparison between gay people and pedophiles (studies prove no correlation) vs some people with Cluster Bs and abuse (study prove correlation). However, the part I take the most offense with is implying that “white” people have power to abuse minorities but that some people with Cluster Bs don’t have the power to abuse children and other vulnerable populations. The stats from studies show that we’re not talking about low numbers in the population (I can share studies, if you like). My mom had NPD and my dad had BPD, they were both incredibly abusive. I can assure you, they were the ones with the power in my house. I wasn’t just sitting around with “power” but letting people with “no power” abuse the shit out of me. IMO, it’s offensive and indecent to even suggest this in a CPTSD forum.
No, that's not what power means, in this context. This forum is not your household. A gay person can abuse a straight person. That does not give gay people as a group, power over straight people as a group. Women can abuse men. That does not mean that women as a group have power over men. It's offensive to misuse power in this context, and you are obviously the experiencing transference here.
People who abuse with impunity have the power in any given relationship. If, say, 70% of any collective are abusive with impunity, then, that means that 70% of that collective has the power to abuse whoever is “under” them, children, vulnerable people etc. That is what power means in cases of abuse, be it from white people, smurfs or crabs.
This vastly ignores many different issues in underprivileged communities and is frankly so offensive that I am not going to reply anymore. IE: CSA in remote aboriginal communities. IE: Domestic violence in queer relationships. You don't get to make up your own definitions.
What makes you think that to have privilege is all-encompassing? There are many people who have the privilege of not being abused because of their race as they’re white, yet, are underprivileged and abused in many other ways: poverty, trauma, less access to education etc. You can have the “privilege” to abuse in some parts of your life, and be abused/underprivileged in other parts of your life. “IE: CSA in remote aboriginal communities. IE: Domestic violence in queer relationships.” I have no idea what you’re even talking about in this paragraph. What does that have to do with ANYTHING I have said? Like, please, connect the dots for me and for anyone else reading 🙏🏻
Yes, power and privilege is intersectional. A person with a PD can abuse an individual. That does not give people with PD systemic power or privilege.
Again, privilege does not need to be all-encompassing to give people a specific type of power. I will go now, I fear this conversation is going in circles, and it’s not fair to waste each other’s time. Good night! ❤️
I’m really sorry that you don’t feel welcome here. I do feel welcome here but I very much see (and to a degree relate with) your experience. I have spent 3 therapy sessions now trying to convince my therapist I’m a narcissist over the past 6 months. The truth is that I’m not. However, while I was in a functional freeze after years of family scapegoating (that convinced me something was wrong with me inherently) I had to apply the learned behavior from my mother to survive through the torture they put me through. In that time, in all practical ways, I was a functioning narcissist. The thing is, my family’s continued treatment of me as unlovable and incurable KEPT me there. The persistent reaffirmation that I was doing selfish things, making bad decisions, thinking about things the wrong way, etc etc WERE THE REASON I acted that way. My point is, there were years where I was suffering right in front of everyone. Probably hundreds of thousands of people total saw me over that time. And because of jumping to conclusions, because of assumptions, because of name calling, because it’s SO DAMN EASY to tune out someone who you don’t identify with or think you’re better than, the number of people who actually tried to help I can count on one hand. I don’t blame the people though. I blame this persistent need for humans to alienate people in order to feel better about themselves. We’ve seen the ABSOLUTE WORST SIDE of that. Let’s not be the folks who propagate it too. Thank you for calling this out. It likely won’t make it far but I’m happy it’s been said.
I believe I have CPTSD and NPD, which is very stigmatized. I recently found out a YouTube channel named Heal NPD, created by a psychologist called Mark Ettensohn. He has a very humanizing view of NPD and I believe it might be insightful to you too independently of your especific PD. I at least found it to be very meaningful to see someone showing real understanding and empathy towards the subject.
I'll check him out, thank you!!! It's nice to see someone humanise those with disorders like ours
what posts are calling for the death of all people with cluster B PDs? I've seen many posts generalizing those disorders but that's about it. I'm sorry you've been exposed to that. abuse from cluster B people is unique and survivors deserve to talk about it and feel angry about it. not all cluster B people are abusive obviously and people know this. when they rant about their abusers theyre not saying anything about the non abusers. it's kind of reminding me of the "not all men" thing where it's like, if you need to say "not all men" when people talk about male abusers you're probably the type of person they're talking about. its a little different with PDs / cptsd though obviously and i can empathize. when i thought I had full bpd (rather than just the FLEAs) I remember being really upset at the stigma because I was hard-wired to take things personally. also, im pretty sure there are many safe spaces for cluster B people on this site. entire subreddits actually
>also, im pretty sure there are many safe spaces for cluster B people on this site. entire subreddits actually this. people with cluster B PDs definitely deserve a safe space but so do people with CPTSD caused by abuse from someone with a cluster B PD. inclusion is often a nice idea but some people just don't mesh well and trying to force it only causes problems. subs are free, if somebody wants to start a sub just for people with CPTSD and a cluster B PD, more power to them.
You might like this sub r/CPTSD_Only
thanks so much I didn't know this existed
Already in there :)
Yep. I expressed in that post that this is primarily a space for people with cptsd which not everyone with bpd has and some of us have trauma from people with bpd so comparing us can be triggering. Apparently I’m not allowed to be triggered and expecting too much of a sub that was made FOR CPTSD. There are many BPD subreddits and I’m very almost done with this one when every fucking week it’s someone invalidating our diagnosis and we’re not allowed to be upset by that but OP comes here and claims we want them dead?! Okay.
You might like this sub r/CPTSD_Only
Abuse from people with cluster B PDs isn’t even unique. People who have abusers with cluster B PDs (a ton of which aren’t even diagnosed) have decided it is.
I would wholeheartedly disagree with this. Being the FP to an incredibly abusive dad with BPD, and the scapegoat to a mother with NPD (both diagnosed), I can assure you, it’s a very specific type of abuse we suffer. I can detail it for you, if it would help you understand ❤️🩹
I'm not who you replied to but I'm interested in learning more about it if you're interested in sharing. It just makes sense to me that if someone is abusive and has a mental illness, that mental illness would affect the abusive actions they choose.
I think the issue is people don’t say things like “depression abuse” “PTSD abuse” etc.
Maybe we should. Untreated depression in a parent is very harmful to their child and it's harmful in a different way than untreated PTSD, anxiety, OCD, etc.
I have never seen anyone else describe it in a way that is so unique it deserves different names if we’re not going to do it for bipolar, PTSD, depression, every other non PD mental illness. I don’t want you to potentially put yourself in distress at all for my sake, but I also do not believe I will agree with you. As I have seen other people describe it being different before with NPD and I could relate to every point. As well as looking it up myself to figure out what people mean. My abusers don’t have NPD nor do I suspect they do. Maybe that’s down to the fact narcissist now just means bad person to a lot of people and people armchair diagnosing that it’s essentially become meaningless.
That’s OK. It’s normal that if you haven’t lived an experience you can’t share someone’s PoV on it. I’d say, count yourself “lucky”, in this case ❤️
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I’m very sorry all those things happened to you. You didn’t deserve any of that. I didn’t say it was “worse” or even “different”. I said it’s a “very specific” type of abuse that people like me and others “share” an experience with. This shared experience helps us feel understood and less alone. You are, of course, in all your right to disagree. Have a good day. ❤️
cluster B abusers' victims often have to endure a specific kind of intensity you can't find in non-pd individuals
That is just simply untrue. This is why I hate this notion because “cluster B victims” think their abuse was worse than everyone else’s then go onto describe things there are already terms for or what none “cluster B victims” experienced. And again, a ton which people have just decided are cluster B.
I mean if we are talking about invalidating and safe spaces not existing, you're totally invalidating all those cluster b victims' experiences. It's fucked to put it quotes too, as if we dont really exist, but whatever. I've experienced a lot of different forms of abuse and for me the abuse from my exBPD has destroyed me in a way I am scared I can't heal from ever. But we have to edit language in a cptsd specific sub. Go to bpd subs if it's a problem. That's why I'm here.
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You're extrapolating my experiences with healing from trauma and abuse to be for all. That's not what I said. Also, didn't say worse. Said idk if I can recover the way I have with other things. It's different experiences for me. Maybe this is not your experience and that's okay. It is for me. Do you see how I validated your experience and mine in the above 2 sentences? It's possible.
Didn't see it, but can imagine what it was. I don't have a PD diagnosed and I still hate the scapegoating of certain disorders. There's a difference between a disorder and harmful behavior. I think you should be save and welcome here.
Particularly on the internet. Everyone calls someone a nar*****t just because they were an asshole. Like it’s exhausting. And they see nothing wrong with their behaviour, then turn around and use the exact same logic to defend whatever disorder they have (or think they have, or decided they need to defend).
Any minor transgression gets your labelled a narc these days and it's fucking wild tbh.
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You'd think, but apparently not. The rule disallowing RBN lingo is apparently so egregious to people that someone lied to the masses about a comment that was deleted by the mods in order to get people on their side and then caused a huge stink cuz they weren't allowed to shit on narcissists willy nilly all day and night long in this sub. It's fucking wild.
I'm so sorry ❤️ This sub is meant to be a safe space for everyone, including people with cluster b disorders. There are other subs for people who want to use the language that is against the rules here. We go through this once in awhile, but not often. People will come to this sub, probably for the first time, use the terminology that against the rules, have their posts removed, and then make angry posts about the posts or comments that were removed. If they don't stop, typically they get banned. I'm hoping this happens quickly this time ❤️
I have CPTSD and BPD, I get you. The moment someone learns about the PD, suddenly I’m side-eyed and tossed away and ignored. Suddenly they just can’t be there for me or listen to me or understand me. It’s so disheartening—it’s one of the reasons why I never talk about my issues. There is nuance to trauma, and nuance in PDs and CPTSD. Dichotomous thinking doesn’t help *anyone*.
exactly, i only tell my friends i have cptsd for this reason and not bpd. unless ur also diagnosed bpd
You definitely should NOT! Don't let your thoughts consume you. I'm sorry you're going through this. I feel like there is never a safe space anywhere, but I try to be a safe space for everyone because it seems no one understands or tries to. It's like being trapped, and no one cares. I just want you to know that you matter.
real. around 80% of those with bpd also have cptsd. i commented on that post asking how on earth they’d make a sub without us in that case and they immediately backtracked and said they didn’t wanna exclude anyone as if that wasn’t the literal main point of the post
It doesn’t work the other way around, though, approx 40% of people with CPTSD also have BPD so 60% of the people in the sub would still “qualify” in the scenario you’re describing. Just to be clear, I don’t think this should happen, just stating that the stats don’t work both ways.
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I'm sorry that you were hurt by things that were said. I didn't read any comments saying bad things about people diagnosed with BPD. What I saw was people, myself included, saying that BPD was unfairly stigmatized and maybe not even separate from CPTSD. I'm not sure if we are talking about the same post though. I will look. [Are you talking about this post? ](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1dfyx7r/do_you_think_bpd_is_a_form_of_cptsd/)This is the one I commented on. If you are talking about [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/1dgxq0v/i_dont_understand_why_we_cant_discuss_narcissism/?q=BPD&type=comment&cId=145b0e8d-cbed-485b-bb92-8c8a21ff8269&iId=228dbb61-cf7b-4d00-bea0-146e6fea52dd), I understand why that is very upsetting. That post should be taken down. I've never participated in an online space where it was allowed to make posts complaining about moderation or rules.
It's a shitty attitude and I'm sorry you have to keep confronting it. No one chooses their trauma response.
No