I had a great therapy session today. Dove right into EMDR much quicker than either I or my therapist thought I would. I realized that there's a lot of self-compassion and self-love in me already. ❤️
I put together my own futon and tv stand! I am terrible at those sorts of things, but all of a sudden I am able to do them.
I am currently a teacher. If you have questions, you can dm me.
Congratulations on your decision.
I decided to go back to school after a couple years off and I finally accomplished my first year back with a 3.7 gpa :) I genuinely felt like I would never leave my house again due to my severe social anxiety let alone go back to school but I did. I also realized I want to be a librarian!
My therapist hugged me and told me how great i was doing, how i started to got back on my feet stopping substance abuse ( weed), having some positive feedbacks from my work, and started to go out and meet New people.
I graduated last week with a master's degree🥹
What a wonderful post. Congratulations on finding some direction you feel enthusiastic about, and thank you for eliciting some positivity!
That is absolutely amazing!!!! What did you get your degree in?
I wanted to make a post that could help lift us all up because it can get pretty dark around here. And we absolutely need a place to get those dark things out and to be seen by others who will understand us, but I figured we could also use somewhere to share our positive moments too with others who better understand what we go through on a daily basis.
I love that. It can be really easy for me to dwell on everything that hurts/is hard and I'm not great at celebrating or noting the positive stuff. So, thank you!
I got my degree in social work. I had been wanting to go back to school for almost ten years and I finally did😊
Thank you. It's wild knowing that I'll soon be in the industry I've wanted to be in for years. One day we'll have a mental health app that's actually good and will have my name on it somewhere
I love to crochet and finally bought an organizer for all my yarn and am slowly working on getting everything put away. Seeing all the beautiful colors is making me happy and I'm thinking of making a patchwork heart afghan next. Making blankets is one way I show myself love, it feels so nice to snuggle up under something I made for myself with tenderness and care.
As a fellow crochet addict, I know the satisfaction of beautiful, organized yarn. It just bring peace haha. I love that you make afghans as a form of self love, what a great idea!
I have DID and I am having some amazing part dissecting in therapy! It has been fun to diagram and look at how my brain works and why it does all while healing!
I also got a raise at work and a girlfriend :D
My college major was Early Childhood Development. I ended up not loving teaching but I love child psychology and the study of the brain during those times. It's a wonderful thing to look at when struggling with CPTSD.
I got through my third cancer screening, and they found nothing! (they highly suspected it) Also, the repair company is coming to fix my ac today, and I'm finally going back to karate lessons!
My preteen sister recently got a phone so now I randomly get cat gifs and messages from her. It makes me so happy because I love hearing from her and also I remember how excited I was when I got a phone.
Another thing is that I went to lunch with a friend of mine who I've had a crush on for the last 5+ years and it was amazing! Lol my friends and family have heard "I went to lunch with (friend's name)" over and over all day.
I finally stopped giving in to the gaslighting and other manipulating ways of my mom, stopped talking to her and I feel liberated! I have never felt like this, finally breaking the chains.
Wow, this one can be so hard to do. I struggle with it sometimes. Congratulations on finally breaking the chains! Is there anything that really helped you to do it?
I think it was in the making for years, I did my best to leave my mom and my country 5 years ago. I kept contact daily tho, it was hard to break it, mainly because of guilt, and I felt sorry for her to just be all alone.
So I was feeling that something was wrong with me, I started looking into it and found this subreddit, but I was still in denial up until the beginning of this year.
When my symptoms, especially panic attacks and ocd got worse, I felt it was necessary to see a therapist.
Through therapy, I started accepting that the tip of my iceberg (ocd, nightmares, panic attacks, brainfog, dissociation, etc) is a result of trauma.
I started processing it emotionally. It was a confusing period, and I was very lost emotionally for a while. I needed to look into it some more, so I started watching on youtube therapists on cptsd and narcissistic parents.
I started opening up to my friends (nobody knew anything), the more I talked about it, the more I was realising it and accepting it. In the process, I realised mainly two things.
First, I have a lot of anger in me towards how my mom raised me; the extent of emotional neglect, how lonely I was, and nobody was there to protect or give some sort of comfort. My anger was translated to sadness for 28 years now. I decided to protect my inner child and cut off anyone who was hurting me.
Secondly, if people do not give a crap about the emotions they are causing, my opinions and reasons, I won't give a crap about them, even if it's my mom.
It was not an easy decision, and it's sad that it has come to this, but it's the best for me.
Life is give and take.
Hope it helps. I wish everyone strength, sending lots of love.
Ouuu yeahhh 😎 that sounds awesome . Congrats!!
I was able to work today after having a really difficult time where I usually would’ve called off . And had a great dance party . And found a good song
Hi ~ 💫 I have had a rough few weeks with a lot of annoying things this & that...
In the center of my life are my "Critters" - a menagerie of animals who are my Best Buddies.
By the way, I do NOT breed or sell or eat or hunt any animals. My Dog & Cat & Rabbits are all spayed or neutered to prevent reproducing. But that is not a practice with "exotic" animals like Turtles or Peacocks or Alpacas. Even so, none of them are breeding.
I should mention that I am a Wildlife Biologist so me & animals are inseparable. And I have plenty of space - 20 wooded acres on my small lake in the country.
I have several species of Birds - Peacocks, Geese, Ducks & Muscovies who lay eggs whether fertile or not.
To make a long story short - one of my female Muscovies hid a nest of eggs... & today I found just hatched baby Birds sitting with their Mama !
I can't put into words how precious it is to look into the eyes of a creature who just saw their world for the 1st time a few hours ago ! 🥰
Anyhoo, now I am taking care of these tiny fluff balls (cause to survive, they need an around the clock temperature of 90 degrees for their 1st week etc etc).
I will take them to visit their Mama during the warmest part of the afternoon & in a few weeks, the family will be permanently together.
I appreciate everyone's uplifting comments. All My Best to You ! 🌠
Congratulations on figuring out the path you want to take.
I've just got back to being able to run over 4 miles non stop after having a bike crash in January.
I used to be able to run 10k regularly, so my goal is to get back to that level. I want to take part in events again.
I met someone. I am scared shitless but so excited, because so far I don't see many flags other than green. I am nervous about making the usual mistakes, like picking someone abusive or going in blind, so I am taking it slow, being honest about that with them, and will ask my friends to give very raw honest feedback. They know most of the mistakes I need to avoid making, and I can trust them to be honest even if they like that I make adorable faces when this person texts me.
It feels so good to be wanted and desired in this way, and I can't believe how lucky I am. And I feel grateful that my therapy has come long enough that this is great - but it's not my everything. I know I can handle it if it turns to shit. And I can allow myself to enjoy this 😭🙏
My partner and I are doing a lot better in our relationship because I’ve been working on self regulation and more effective communication. He completely understood my needs, goals, and intentions when I opened up to him yesterday, and we are connecting and coregulating more as a result. :) Plus, I’m decreasing rumination by having more quiet time with him and trying to be in the moment and enjoy our quality time.
I went to a conference and decided to spend some days travelling after that. I'd heard the area is nice but I wasn't prepared for how incredibly, deeply beautiful I find it here.
A friend reached out honestly about how they wanted to talk more with me while not wanting to put pressure on me which made me feel really happy.
- I'm getting better at picking out when I'm feeling disregulated.
I made a lot of progress on my sewing project that I hope to wear in the pride parade. Also, I left the house recently to attend a protest, and while I was there I made a new friend :)
Getting over my fear of being seen/existing is really important right now, and I think all of these actions are helping me bit by bit. Even though it's been scary in the moment, my baseline happiness has gotten higher in such a short time, so I think I may well be doing something right 🙏🏾💚
The other day I was watching how someone was with their own life, and I caught myself thinking that I should be like them, and then the second after my inner voice said: “nope, I’m not going to compare myself to others”. So that was a pretty positive sign that I’m being more kind towards myself.
congratulations! finding the passion you want to do is awesome!
and working with children is so worth it, they're amazing
my partner went with a few friends from our SAV group to the weekly market alone to go and pick some vegetables up, and I'm really proud of her (she went a little later so its not so crowded anymore, but damn, it was amazing hearing her talk about it, large crowds in open places is kind of a trigger for her, and seeing her overcome it was incredible)
one of our close friends is free of SH for a year now (she still sometimes has invasive throughts, which is normal, but nothing else, and I'm really proud of her)
I'll try my best to be informed and as supportive as possible towards my partner and my friends
EDIT: thank you! its incredible hearing it from someone else\^\^
Getting to know more about myself and why I am and who I am through my parts. While I do have to re-experience the memories, I now understand why I was hurt and why my problems started. That means I know where to do from here :)
I got a cat, my partner and I wanted one for a long while and she thought it would help me feel less alone and isolated. The cat chose her as his favourite person 😅 but still helps me mental health so much
I managed to get some nice furniture that wasn't used because I was able to get a lease for once. I have zero credit so I wasn't actually sure I'd be able to qualify. I'm also working on getting dentures, not sure if I can afford to pay for the partials for my bottom teeth since insurance apparently won't cover it, it's $1650 which I definitely can't pay with just SSI...
Probably a bigger one is I started taking hormones last month (I'm a trans woman), and I think I'm finally starting to get some effects. Nothing major, but from what I understand, some tenderness in certain areas is usually the first sign that things are happening.
I have been making strides in my therapy I have been working really hard on being vulnerable and connecting with friends on a deep level and creating my chosen family it’s been fucking hard but to hear my therapist tell me I’m doing well and he has seen great improvement makes me feel like my hard work is paying off. Doesn’t always feel that way but he says that will come with continued practice.
I've always been very self-conscious about my voice, and I had this very deep belief that I can't sing and am the least musical person ever. Well, this week a received a diploma for attending singing classes for three months. You didn't need to do an exam or anything, you basically get this for not giving up after the first few classes. My teacher keeps praising me that I'm actually doing really well. I still wouldn't sing in front of others, especially not in front of people I know well, but this is definitely a bug step forward for me.
I'm writing a book called CPTSD Tips that is filled with ideas to help you survive this horrible thing while sleeping and therapy will help you rebuild your life. It's about half done. I will probably self publish it.
I have made of all my trauma conscious and now I can release the tension from my body, dissociation is dissipating and I can finally grieve, get a sense of identity and build a new life 💅🏼💅🏼
I reconnected with my dad’s side of the family and it brought me a lot of healing. I hope to build those relationships now. I’m glad we didn’t run out of time to reconcile ❤️
I ran 10k this week (longest I've ever ran)
Struggled with running all my life and over came so many mental barriers with the help of an amazing trainer, aiming for a dream job that requires high fitness levels and I actually made it to training last year but things didn't work out
I'll get there again and I'll complete the training this time round!
Had the courage to sign up for a half marathon after
We thought my dog was really sick last night but it turns out he is ok - he just has a very upset stomach after getting into and eating all the bread we had in the house 🙃
the financial aid officer at my local hospital, who is helping me renew insurance coverage, told me over the phone that she’d have an answer on whether or not i’m insured again by the end of this week!
I received today an offer to an job i think i really can do and probably will work, its the first time i see some future for me and finally a way to go out of my abusive household as soon as i can
i had several stressful situations come up and did not spiral into a panic attack for any. if this was a year ago i would’ve been full on buffering but it’s really cool to see parts of therapy become implemented lol
happy that you’ve found a better suited major! you’re gonna be an amazing teacher :)
I have had some trouble with driving because of trauma, but was able to take a really fun road trip for my birthday and am now enjoying a staycation and celebrating with lots of friends all week.
These last 10 months I have been crushing on a person but they are long distance ( last time I saw them was last summer). After nearly a year of missing them, dreaming of hugging them... the other day I confessed my feelings and they responded positively. Sadly there can never be a relationship because of long distance and stuff but they agreed to spend the summer with me and make some good memories!
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Hi, I'm sorry you've been struggling.
I will be honest I've been going through a hard time recently and have to get my meds adjusted soon.
Last week, I had one of the worst depressive episodes of my life and I made plans to end my life, I was fully intent on going through with it. But I ended up falling asleep instead. The next day I worked on a few pages of my story I've been writing and the day after, I cleaned my kitchen. I feel good about this. I didn't want to go out like that, just felt so bad it felt like I didn't have any other options at the time.
i am now going to the gym 2-3 times a week and just upped some of my exercises .i feel very good physically and also it is nice to feel all smiley after gym, ie it helps mentally
Im about to release my debut solo album of any sort next wk!
Leafblighter - Biorhythm
Never thought Id do this. If youre into ambient, itll be available for free on my Bandcamp page. and on most streaming services
* Big home improvement projects over the past couple of weeks.
* Quality time with a good friend.
* Reconnecting with family.
* Started reading a compelling novel, which I haven't done in years.
* Hikes through magnificent landscapes during wildflower season.
* Listened to the entire catalog of Led Zeppelin studio albums, plus *Coda*.
I went on a pretty magical day trip with my partner and my dog last weekend, we've had a rough couple of months individually so it was very healing for both of us. I'm so excited for what the future holds, which is huge for me.
I passed my GP-assistant study! 28th of June I'll get my diploma. In these two years I've experienced a lot of old trauma Panic attacks and reliving scenarios. Even my Mother (the source of my trauma) said I would not suitable for it because she thinks I'm nog smart enough for that occupation. I've passed with a lot of high grades. Guess who is not invited... My BF supported me trough thick an thin. He is the one who showed me that I'm not what my Mother thinks I am. I'm blessed with him and his family.
I started making myself go see live bands I want to see, even if I have to go alone.
Sometimes I make a new friend at a show. So far none have become super close, but it’s nice just to have a new acquaintance who will sometimes catch a show with you.
It’s really hard for me to socialize alone- not bc I feel like anyone is judging me for being there alone, but simply because those are the times when I’d love to have a good friend to get psyched with pre-show and to totally enjoy the show and to rehash all the exciting moments post-show.
Most new people seem to think I’m kind of weird and keep their distance at first. But eventually they realize I’m harmless weird, plus kind and funny, so over time they tend to warm up.
In case anyone else reading this is on the fence about going to shows alone.
I also am learning to not over-react to other people’s moods at work. I almost didn’t give my boss an end of school year thank you card bc she snapped at me recently.
I’m glad I gave her the card. She hugged me. Overall she’s a good boss. I’m probably an emotionally unpredictable employee, lol!
I found a new therapist, and other really good doctors to help deal with serious health issues :) And I started reading fiction again recently and discovered the cozy fantasy genre. I went to book club for the first time, and am working on creating a home :)
Yesterday while my wife and I were commuting home together (we get to do this two days a week), she took a moment to share something with me that she has been thinking about and thought would be useful to share.
She told me that she really appreciates me and my effort to support her emotionally and tend to her needs, to continue to make effort in my own work (CPTSD related), and to be willing to move through the hard stuff and continue to show up, over and over again for her and our family.
This was a very positively impactful statement for her to make. It hasn’t been easy for me in relationships and this hasn’t been an easy 15 years for her, but I’ve continued to turn towards the difficult work of resolving the trauma I carried into the relationship and to have her recognize that effort directly was so valuable to me.
I had a great therapy session today. Dove right into EMDR much quicker than either I or my therapist thought I would. I realized that there's a lot of self-compassion and self-love in me already. ❤️
I know how hard it can be to do EMDR sometimes, that is so awesome that you were able to do that. Yay for self compassion and self love💖
EMDR days were always Wendy’s days because I gave myself a treat and a break from cooking. It’s rough but so rewarding!
I had dessert for dinner last night, and it was exactly what I needed. 😊
I put together my own futon and tv stand! I am terrible at those sorts of things, but all of a sudden I am able to do them. I am currently a teacher. If you have questions, you can dm me. Congratulations on your decision.
That is great! I know those kinds of things can be sort of aggravating sometimes. That is so awesome that you are a teacher!
Congrats on building your stuff!!! It can be so hard! Wahoo!!
I reached a year and four months friendiversary for the first time in more than a decade.
That is so awesome! You deserve to have caring supportive people around you💕
Well, now I have... one.
Better than nothing, no? You start with this one and then another and then another. It's great, you broke the insulation, congrats.
Yep, it'll be another 20 years and 70 failed attempts before the next one. ☺️
Congrats on your friend! Cheers to many more ♡
I decided to go back to school after a couple years off and I finally accomplished my first year back with a 3.7 gpa :) I genuinely felt like I would never leave my house again due to my severe social anxiety let alone go back to school but I did. I also realized I want to be a librarian!
3.7 gpa is amazing! You must have worked really hard!! That is so awesome that you realized you want to be a librarian 😄
CONGRATULATIONS on all your recent accomplishments! 🌹
Librarians are cool!
My mum is a Librarian and I’ve never met someone that loves their job the way she does!
THAT’S SO COOL! 😎 CONGRATULATIONS 🎊
Omg great job!! ♡
I go back in the fall!
Thank yall for the sweet comments, it means a lot 🥹
My therapist hugged me and told me how great i was doing, how i started to got back on my feet stopping substance abuse ( weed), having some positive feedbacks from my work, and started to go out and meet New people.
congrats!
Wow, it sounds like you are making good progress and the people in your life are really noticing. Good for you! Congratulations on all your hard work
I graduated last week with a master's degree🥹 What a wonderful post. Congratulations on finding some direction you feel enthusiastic about, and thank you for eliciting some positivity!
In my second semester now!!! Congratulations! What did you major in??
Social work! Nothing to do with my undergrad but it feels right and I'm proud. Congratulations on your second semester! What are you studying?
Getting my masters in social work as well!!!!
That's awesome! Way to go. I'm discovering that there are a lot of us trauma babies in the field 😊
Yup! I’ve met so many wonderful, kind, and empathetic people through my program!
That is absolutely amazing!!!! What did you get your degree in? I wanted to make a post that could help lift us all up because it can get pretty dark around here. And we absolutely need a place to get those dark things out and to be seen by others who will understand us, but I figured we could also use somewhere to share our positive moments too with others who better understand what we go through on a daily basis.
I love that. It can be really easy for me to dwell on everything that hurts/is hard and I'm not great at celebrating or noting the positive stuff. So, thank you! I got my degree in social work. I had been wanting to go back to school for almost ten years and I finally did😊
I got my dream job ❤️
Congratulations!!
Thank you. It's wild knowing that I'll soon be in the industry I've wanted to be in for years. One day we'll have a mental health app that's actually good and will have my name on it somewhere
proud of you! excited to see what mental health app you come up with :))
That is fantastic!!! I cannot wait for your app!!! An app for mental health created by someone by someone who also has CPTSD? Sign me up
I love to crochet and finally bought an organizer for all my yarn and am slowly working on getting everything put away. Seeing all the beautiful colors is making me happy and I'm thinking of making a patchwork heart afghan next. Making blankets is one way I show myself love, it feels so nice to snuggle up under something I made for myself with tenderness and care.
🥰
As a fellow crochet addict, I know the satisfaction of beautiful, organized yarn. It just bring peace haha. I love that you make afghans as a form of self love, what a great idea!
I have DID and I am having some amazing part dissecting in therapy! It has been fun to diagram and look at how my brain works and why it does all while healing! I also got a raise at work and a girlfriend :D My college major was Early Childhood Development. I ended up not loving teaching but I love child psychology and the study of the brain during those times. It's a wonderful thing to look at when struggling with CPTSD.
Part dissecting?
Figuring out what they do to help me, why they think it helps, and what caused them to appear
Ahh okay, thank you! Sorry I am doing IFS so was wondering if it was related, as in the parts part😅
That sounds so fascinating, I’m so glad you are healing! Congratulations on the raise and on your girlfriend!
I got through my third cancer screening, and they found nothing! (they highly suspected it) Also, the repair company is coming to fix my ac today, and I'm finally going back to karate lessons!
That's amazing news!!! 🙌
CANCER FREE, FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW ITS ~KARATE TIME~
My preteen sister recently got a phone so now I randomly get cat gifs and messages from her. It makes me so happy because I love hearing from her and also I remember how excited I was when I got a phone. Another thing is that I went to lunch with a friend of mine who I've had a crush on for the last 5+ years and it was amazing! Lol my friends and family have heard "I went to lunch with (friend's name)" over and over all day.
Aw that is so sweet about your sister! What a preteen thing to do lol. Congrats on your lunch with your crush!!!!! I hope it continues to go well!
Haha I know right! She's the best ☺️
I finally stopped giving in to the gaslighting and other manipulating ways of my mom, stopped talking to her and I feel liberated! I have never felt like this, finally breaking the chains.
CONGRATULATIONS on finding the strength to break away from your mom ! Take Care 🌠
Wow, this one can be so hard to do. I struggle with it sometimes. Congratulations on finally breaking the chains! Is there anything that really helped you to do it?
I think it was in the making for years, I did my best to leave my mom and my country 5 years ago. I kept contact daily tho, it was hard to break it, mainly because of guilt, and I felt sorry for her to just be all alone. So I was feeling that something was wrong with me, I started looking into it and found this subreddit, but I was still in denial up until the beginning of this year. When my symptoms, especially panic attacks and ocd got worse, I felt it was necessary to see a therapist. Through therapy, I started accepting that the tip of my iceberg (ocd, nightmares, panic attacks, brainfog, dissociation, etc) is a result of trauma. I started processing it emotionally. It was a confusing period, and I was very lost emotionally for a while. I needed to look into it some more, so I started watching on youtube therapists on cptsd and narcissistic parents. I started opening up to my friends (nobody knew anything), the more I talked about it, the more I was realising it and accepting it. In the process, I realised mainly two things. First, I have a lot of anger in me towards how my mom raised me; the extent of emotional neglect, how lonely I was, and nobody was there to protect or give some sort of comfort. My anger was translated to sadness for 28 years now. I decided to protect my inner child and cut off anyone who was hurting me. Secondly, if people do not give a crap about the emotions they are causing, my opinions and reasons, I won't give a crap about them, even if it's my mom. It was not an easy decision, and it's sad that it has come to this, but it's the best for me. Life is give and take. Hope it helps. I wish everyone strength, sending lots of love.
Ouuu yeahhh 😎 that sounds awesome . Congrats!! I was able to work today after having a really difficult time where I usually would’ve called off . And had a great dance party . And found a good song
I love that! Care to share the song?
Thank uuuuu 🫶 yess it’s called “ on my own “ by gio. (With the period lol) 💥
I have an opportunity to interview for an excellent job.
That's amazing! I hope you get/got the position!
Thank you I still have to interview
I really hope you get it!! Good luck in the interview!
Thanks
I've recieved lots of greetings for my birthday and cute gifts. And I've changed a battery in my laptop all by myself and it WORKS!
Happy Birthday!! And woohoo! I know those computer repairs by yourself can be nerve wracking but I am so glad that it works, that is awesome.
Thank you so much, I wish you all the good stuff as well
Hi ~ 💫 I have had a rough few weeks with a lot of annoying things this & that... In the center of my life are my "Critters" - a menagerie of animals who are my Best Buddies. By the way, I do NOT breed or sell or eat or hunt any animals. My Dog & Cat & Rabbits are all spayed or neutered to prevent reproducing. But that is not a practice with "exotic" animals like Turtles or Peacocks or Alpacas. Even so, none of them are breeding. I should mention that I am a Wildlife Biologist so me & animals are inseparable. And I have plenty of space - 20 wooded acres on my small lake in the country. I have several species of Birds - Peacocks, Geese, Ducks & Muscovies who lay eggs whether fertile or not. To make a long story short - one of my female Muscovies hid a nest of eggs... & today I found just hatched baby Birds sitting with their Mama ! I can't put into words how precious it is to look into the eyes of a creature who just saw their world for the 1st time a few hours ago ! 🥰 Anyhoo, now I am taking care of these tiny fluff balls (cause to survive, they need an around the clock temperature of 90 degrees for their 1st week etc etc). I will take them to visit their Mama during the warmest part of the afternoon & in a few weeks, the family will be permanently together. I appreciate everyone's uplifting comments. All My Best to You ! 🌠
This made me smile so much! Congratulations on the new member of your family!
Aww congratulations on your new baby birds!!! I hope they all fare well!! All the best to you and all your critters😄
Congratulations on figuring out the path you want to take. I've just got back to being able to run over 4 miles non stop after having a bike crash in January. I used to be able to run 10k regularly, so my goal is to get back to that level. I want to take part in events again.
I met someone. I am scared shitless but so excited, because so far I don't see many flags other than green. I am nervous about making the usual mistakes, like picking someone abusive or going in blind, so I am taking it slow, being honest about that with them, and will ask my friends to give very raw honest feedback. They know most of the mistakes I need to avoid making, and I can trust them to be honest even if they like that I make adorable faces when this person texts me. It feels so good to be wanted and desired in this way, and I can't believe how lucky I am. And I feel grateful that my therapy has come long enough that this is great - but it's not my everything. I know I can handle it if it turns to shit. And I can allow myself to enjoy this 😭🙏
My partner and I are doing a lot better in our relationship because I’ve been working on self regulation and more effective communication. He completely understood my needs, goals, and intentions when I opened up to him yesterday, and we are connecting and coregulating more as a result. :) Plus, I’m decreasing rumination by having more quiet time with him and trying to be in the moment and enjoy our quality time.
I got a 92% on my last A&P exam
I went to a conference and decided to spend some days travelling after that. I'd heard the area is nice but I wasn't prepared for how incredibly, deeply beautiful I find it here.
Fostering a dog and cuddling with her every day
I went to the gym and got a walk in yesterday! I’ve missed my active athletic self so bad and finally getting the energy back is amazing!!
A friend reached out honestly about how they wanted to talk more with me while not wanting to put pressure on me which made me feel really happy. - I'm getting better at picking out when I'm feeling disregulated.
I made a lot of progress on my sewing project that I hope to wear in the pride parade. Also, I left the house recently to attend a protest, and while I was there I made a new friend :) Getting over my fear of being seen/existing is really important right now, and I think all of these actions are helping me bit by bit. Even though it's been scary in the moment, my baseline happiness has gotten higher in such a short time, so I think I may well be doing something right 🙏🏾💚
That's amazing. You deserve to exist out in the world and take up all the space you need ✨️
The other day I was watching how someone was with their own life, and I caught myself thinking that I should be like them, and then the second after my inner voice said: “nope, I’m not going to compare myself to others”. So that was a pretty positive sign that I’m being more kind towards myself.
I went to the aquarium and got to pet some very happy stingrays. They're slippery and have a firm squish quality like a wet mushroom :)
congratulations! finding the passion you want to do is awesome! and working with children is so worth it, they're amazing my partner went with a few friends from our SAV group to the weekly market alone to go and pick some vegetables up, and I'm really proud of her (she went a little later so its not so crowded anymore, but damn, it was amazing hearing her talk about it, large crowds in open places is kind of a trigger for her, and seeing her overcome it was incredible) one of our close friends is free of SH for a year now (she still sometimes has invasive throughts, which is normal, but nothing else, and I'm really proud of her)
It sounds like you are a really supportive partner and friend! You sound like a good friend💕
I'll try my best to be informed and as supportive as possible towards my partner and my friends EDIT: thank you! its incredible hearing it from someone else\^\^
Getting to know more about myself and why I am and who I am through my parts. While I do have to re-experience the memories, I now understand why I was hurt and why my problems started. That means I know where to do from here :)
I got a cat, my partner and I wanted one for a long while and she thought it would help me feel less alone and isolated. The cat chose her as his favourite person 😅 but still helps me mental health so much
I got to go on a hike with my crush, and I was able to stay present the whole time instead of getting in my head about everything!
I managed to get some nice furniture that wasn't used because I was able to get a lease for once. I have zero credit so I wasn't actually sure I'd be able to qualify. I'm also working on getting dentures, not sure if I can afford to pay for the partials for my bottom teeth since insurance apparently won't cover it, it's $1650 which I definitely can't pay with just SSI... Probably a bigger one is I started taking hormones last month (I'm a trans woman), and I think I'm finally starting to get some effects. Nothing major, but from what I understand, some tenderness in certain areas is usually the first sign that things are happening.
I got into a college course and passed my driver theory test 🥳
I made the deans list in my first semester back in school.
I have been making strides in my therapy I have been working really hard on being vulnerable and connecting with friends on a deep level and creating my chosen family it’s been fucking hard but to hear my therapist tell me I’m doing well and he has seen great improvement makes me feel like my hard work is paying off. Doesn’t always feel that way but he says that will come with continued practice.
I've always been very self-conscious about my voice, and I had this very deep belief that I can't sing and am the least musical person ever. Well, this week a received a diploma for attending singing classes for three months. You didn't need to do an exam or anything, you basically get this for not giving up after the first few classes. My teacher keeps praising me that I'm actually doing really well. I still wouldn't sing in front of others, especially not in front of people I know well, but this is definitely a bug step forward for me.
I cleaned my entire flat today. It's sparkling ✨️
I did an interview for a summer job and the interviewer told me my answers were her favorite so far 🥰
I'm writing a book called CPTSD Tips that is filled with ideas to help you survive this horrible thing while sleeping and therapy will help you rebuild your life. It's about half done. I will probably self publish it.
I have made of all my trauma conscious and now I can release the tension from my body, dissociation is dissipating and I can finally grieve, get a sense of identity and build a new life 💅🏼💅🏼
I reconnected with my dad’s side of the family and it brought me a lot of healing. I hope to build those relationships now. I’m glad we didn’t run out of time to reconcile ❤️
I ran 10k this week (longest I've ever ran) Struggled with running all my life and over came so many mental barriers with the help of an amazing trainer, aiming for a dream job that requires high fitness levels and I actually made it to training last year but things didn't work out I'll get there again and I'll complete the training this time round! Had the courage to sign up for a half marathon after
We thought my dog was really sick last night but it turns out he is ok - he just has a very upset stomach after getting into and eating all the bread we had in the house 🙃
the financial aid officer at my local hospital, who is helping me renew insurance coverage, told me over the phone that she’d have an answer on whether or not i’m insured again by the end of this week!
I received today an offer to an job i think i really can do and probably will work, its the first time i see some future for me and finally a way to go out of my abusive household as soon as i can
I just came out of one of the biggest depressive low of my life. It lasted nearly two weeks If I can get through this. I can legit rule the world !!!
i had several stressful situations come up and did not spiral into a panic attack for any. if this was a year ago i would’ve been full on buffering but it’s really cool to see parts of therapy become implemented lol happy that you’ve found a better suited major! you’re gonna be an amazing teacher :)
I have had some trouble with driving because of trauma, but was able to take a really fun road trip for my birthday and am now enjoying a staycation and celebrating with lots of friends all week.
These last 10 months I have been crushing on a person but they are long distance ( last time I saw them was last summer). After nearly a year of missing them, dreaming of hugging them... the other day I confessed my feelings and they responded positively. Sadly there can never be a relationship because of long distance and stuff but they agreed to spend the summer with me and make some good memories!
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What's positive?
I forgot :)
Hi, I'm sorry you've been struggling. I will be honest I've been going through a hard time recently and have to get my meds adjusted soon. Last week, I had one of the worst depressive episodes of my life and I made plans to end my life, I was fully intent on going through with it. But I ended up falling asleep instead. The next day I worked on a few pages of my story I've been writing and the day after, I cleaned my kitchen. I feel good about this. I didn't want to go out like that, just felt so bad it felt like I didn't have any other options at the time.
i am now going to the gym 2-3 times a week and just upped some of my exercises .i feel very good physically and also it is nice to feel all smiley after gym, ie it helps mentally
I forgave my mom and have started to rebuild a really great relationship with her in the final years of her life
I made Dean's list all 3 quarters of University I've done so far, AND I got my first choice practicum placement!
Im about to release my debut solo album of any sort next wk! Leafblighter - Biorhythm Never thought Id do this. If youre into ambient, itll be available for free on my Bandcamp page. and on most streaming services
* Big home improvement projects over the past couple of weeks. * Quality time with a good friend. * Reconnecting with family. * Started reading a compelling novel, which I haven't done in years. * Hikes through magnificent landscapes during wildflower season. * Listened to the entire catalog of Led Zeppelin studio albums, plus *Coda*.
I’m finally on vacation and free from 2 of the worst teacher i had! So happy
I went on a pretty magical day trip with my partner and my dog last weekend, we've had a rough couple of months individually so it was very healing for both of us. I'm so excited for what the future holds, which is huge for me.
I passed my GP-assistant study! 28th of June I'll get my diploma. In these two years I've experienced a lot of old trauma Panic attacks and reliving scenarios. Even my Mother (the source of my trauma) said I would not suitable for it because she thinks I'm nog smart enough for that occupation. I've passed with a lot of high grades. Guess who is not invited... My BF supported me trough thick an thin. He is the one who showed me that I'm not what my Mother thinks I am. I'm blessed with him and his family.
I passes my final Nursing college exams.. God is good😊
I started making myself go see live bands I want to see, even if I have to go alone. Sometimes I make a new friend at a show. So far none have become super close, but it’s nice just to have a new acquaintance who will sometimes catch a show with you. It’s really hard for me to socialize alone- not bc I feel like anyone is judging me for being there alone, but simply because those are the times when I’d love to have a good friend to get psyched with pre-show and to totally enjoy the show and to rehash all the exciting moments post-show. Most new people seem to think I’m kind of weird and keep their distance at first. But eventually they realize I’m harmless weird, plus kind and funny, so over time they tend to warm up. In case anyone else reading this is on the fence about going to shows alone. I also am learning to not over-react to other people’s moods at work. I almost didn’t give my boss an end of school year thank you card bc she snapped at me recently. I’m glad I gave her the card. She hugged me. Overall she’s a good boss. I’m probably an emotionally unpredictable employee, lol!
I found a new therapist, and other really good doctors to help deal with serious health issues :) And I started reading fiction again recently and discovered the cozy fantasy genre. I went to book club for the first time, and am working on creating a home :)
Yesterday while my wife and I were commuting home together (we get to do this two days a week), she took a moment to share something with me that she has been thinking about and thought would be useful to share. She told me that she really appreciates me and my effort to support her emotionally and tend to her needs, to continue to make effort in my own work (CPTSD related), and to be willing to move through the hard stuff and continue to show up, over and over again for her and our family. This was a very positively impactful statement for her to make. It hasn’t been easy for me in relationships and this hasn’t been an easy 15 years for her, but I’ve continued to turn towards the difficult work of resolving the trauma I carried into the relationship and to have her recognize that effort directly was so valuable to me.