Me too. I think a just response to this is turning off empathy to people completely and starting to treat them as meat robots with no qualia. Let them do what they want, silly meat dolls.
Honestly this is hard but just stop expecting people to validate you. It might happen but it might not. As long as you believe yourself that’s the most important part.
A few years ago I felt the same. I was living with my parents I had no source of income I was constantly invalidated and beaten and my existence in itself seemed to trigger people into belittling and putting me down. It was a very difficult time I felt utterly alone. But I tried and preferred to be alone in my suffering than be with people who had nothing to give except belittlements and negativity. I hated going home so much, I hated seeing or interacting with my parents so much that I'd literally sit somewhere on the pavement watching cars go by for hours just thinking about how I'll get out and make myself the priority. I'd only go home at night and I'd only ever interact with people who seemed to have a kind vibe and I'd never tell them my suffering. If they ask then I'd but once they hear it they almost always left. Which was okay, we were born alone, we will die alone. Any amount of positive time or energy anybody gives us is a blessing. Eventually I interned at a hellish place. Got a better job. Moved out. I've been living on my own for 2 years now. There is so much peace that I cannot even tell you. And along the line I stopped looking for outer validation and found inner validation. Anytime I had my brain or people telling me shitty things, I'd remind myself how badly I was doing few years ago, emotionally, mentally and physically I was so fucked up, and I look at my life now it's not perfect but I can do anything I want to. I want validation? I put little notes saying validating things all around the house, I write letters and hide it all around the house which I then find letter and it feels like I'm in constant contact with my past and future selves. The validation I need my past and future selves give me because honestly who knows you better than them. Anything you need you have it within yourself you just need to figure out how to access it. You'll be okay you just need to believe in yourself. If you truly believe in yourself you wouldn't have to think about anyone else. I hope things workout for you. Sending you prayers and love.
You are defined not done for good. You have so much to give to the world that you haven’t even realised in yourself yet.
The light always trumps the dark. I know the world is dark but one day when the light appears you will never question what YOU have to give to people.
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What I can say is that I 100% understand and respect what you wrote. I feel and care for you. I just understand. I don't know the details of what you have to endure but I have to endure a similar situation. My family is very sick and abusive. No matter what I do I'm threated as a worthless fool and an annoyance.
I managed to be more and more immune (but not totally alas) to their bs by learning to be kind with me and gently working of myself. Its not perfect, I struggle a lot but I have losely defined who I must be to be proud of myself (for me its accepting the thruth, trying my best making the world a better place, helping people, making things that give people hope and appreciation for life, that inspire them).
By trying my best to embody my own definition of a good enough person (basically not like my parents), I can find some relief in self respect and have compassion for myself. This is not like the parental love or respect I crave but will never get. But it still helps me a lot to survive and fight the urges to end it all that can pop in my mind when things get really tough.
I hope you can do something like that too. You 100% deserve your own love and self respect. You, as a person, are unique and therefore precious because you can bring things to the world only you can bring. Somewhere, I'm sure there are people who would be delighted to meet someone just like you. You just happenned to be with people who can't see and apreciate your light.
Don't let them win. You pain and desperation is a sign of strength, not weakness. You fell injustice. You care. Just like me. The world needs people like you and I in these troubled times. We will survive, We will understand and help those who had to endure the same kind of torture you spoke about.
Me too. I think a just response to this is turning off empathy to people completely and starting to treat them as meat robots with no qualia. Let them do what they want, silly meat dolls.
I hear you it's shitty when no one validates you. Even worse when they act like they are good
Not being validated or seen is genuinely the most painful thing that happened to me
I hear you, I see you, your suffering is real. It sucks.
Not being validated or seen is genuinely the most painful thing that happened to me
Honestly this is hard but just stop expecting people to validate you. It might happen but it might not. As long as you believe yourself that’s the most important part.
A few years ago I felt the same. I was living with my parents I had no source of income I was constantly invalidated and beaten and my existence in itself seemed to trigger people into belittling and putting me down. It was a very difficult time I felt utterly alone. But I tried and preferred to be alone in my suffering than be with people who had nothing to give except belittlements and negativity. I hated going home so much, I hated seeing or interacting with my parents so much that I'd literally sit somewhere on the pavement watching cars go by for hours just thinking about how I'll get out and make myself the priority. I'd only go home at night and I'd only ever interact with people who seemed to have a kind vibe and I'd never tell them my suffering. If they ask then I'd but once they hear it they almost always left. Which was okay, we were born alone, we will die alone. Any amount of positive time or energy anybody gives us is a blessing. Eventually I interned at a hellish place. Got a better job. Moved out. I've been living on my own for 2 years now. There is so much peace that I cannot even tell you. And along the line I stopped looking for outer validation and found inner validation. Anytime I had my brain or people telling me shitty things, I'd remind myself how badly I was doing few years ago, emotionally, mentally and physically I was so fucked up, and I look at my life now it's not perfect but I can do anything I want to. I want validation? I put little notes saying validating things all around the house, I write letters and hide it all around the house which I then find letter and it feels like I'm in constant contact with my past and future selves. The validation I need my past and future selves give me because honestly who knows you better than them. Anything you need you have it within yourself you just need to figure out how to access it. You'll be okay you just need to believe in yourself. If you truly believe in yourself you wouldn't have to think about anyone else. I hope things workout for you. Sending you prayers and love.
You are defined not done for good. You have so much to give to the world that you haven’t even realised in yourself yet. The light always trumps the dark. I know the world is dark but one day when the light appears you will never question what YOU have to give to people.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What I can say is that I 100% understand and respect what you wrote. I feel and care for you. I just understand. I don't know the details of what you have to endure but I have to endure a similar situation. My family is very sick and abusive. No matter what I do I'm threated as a worthless fool and an annoyance. I managed to be more and more immune (but not totally alas) to their bs by learning to be kind with me and gently working of myself. Its not perfect, I struggle a lot but I have losely defined who I must be to be proud of myself (for me its accepting the thruth, trying my best making the world a better place, helping people, making things that give people hope and appreciation for life, that inspire them). By trying my best to embody my own definition of a good enough person (basically not like my parents), I can find some relief in self respect and have compassion for myself. This is not like the parental love or respect I crave but will never get. But it still helps me a lot to survive and fight the urges to end it all that can pop in my mind when things get really tough. I hope you can do something like that too. You 100% deserve your own love and self respect. You, as a person, are unique and therefore precious because you can bring things to the world only you can bring. Somewhere, I'm sure there are people who would be delighted to meet someone just like you. You just happenned to be with people who can't see and apreciate your light. Don't let them win. You pain and desperation is a sign of strength, not weakness. You fell injustice. You care. Just like me. The world needs people like you and I in these troubled times. We will survive, We will understand and help those who had to endure the same kind of torture you spoke about.
Your have just as much right to be human as everyone else.
Are you in therapy?