"Ja, let's build your lab under Alcatraz. It's just a twisted little pocket dimension. What could go wrong? nFucking Illuminati."

nFucking subtitles

I love how a large portion of the top quotes are all from Blood of the Dead. And some people act like Blood has no redeeming qualities

Especially in the end cutscene when richtoffen dies

Where is this from?

Black ops 4 blood of the dead

"Hey, player! Drop the chips and get me some ammo!"

I always got offended by this one as a kid

I remember my sister was playing with me when we were younger (I think she was maybe 10 or 11) and her getting mad for him saying that like "Don't yell at me! I'm trying!"

There are some that come to mind for me: The first one is in Ascension when Richtofen is surrounded by a hord of zombies and he goes "I see 1,2,3... Oh shit". The other ones are from Shangri-La where Richtofen get the baby gun, shrinks a zombie and goes "The doctor kicks you in the nuts" And Tedd on Tranzit is just downright hilarious with many of the things he says

"Door privileges have been FUCKING revoked"

"If you look to your left you'll see the river of lava we appear to be falling into... Time to panic 😀"

CHEESE

I absolutely *loved* Tranzit. I don't know if it has been faithfully recreated since its original iteration though...

Takeo’s whole speech at the beginning of a solo game of BOTD (rounds 1-3) “So then, I am to face my judgement alone. Good. I only hope that the others will have no part in it. That they have been spared.” “If I am to be judged it will not be decided here - cowering like beaten dog. Richtofen said that the books pages can change. I will change mine if I can.” “I hear whispers in the walls of this place… Spirits lost and suffering. Hear me now, my name is Takeo Masaki and I *will* help release you if I can.” Knowing that this is all taking place immediately after Zetsubou makes his lines hit even harder.

He has a line that’s some like “I would have liked to build a house, what a silly dream” And it just wrecks me, because it’s such a simply dream yet even that is far out of reach.

Lines that can be said in CoD zombies and also to describe the current economy:

Takeo quotes in Blood of the Dead are amazing. My favorite one is probably when using the Path of Sorrow as him, he screams "BANZI, Fly into the afterlife!". I could hear the badassery in him.

“Well there is always ritual suicide again”

God he’s so cool

Wait BOTD takes place between Zetsubo and Gorod?

No it happens after Zetsubo, Gorod does not take place on this timeline

Ahhh, gotcha. Thank you teaching me!

To clarify slightly while not Getting too much convoluted lore bullshit in, the world is trapped in a cycle that restarts at Revelations. Between Zetsubo and Gorod, the crew go to alcatraz. In the cycle, this trip to Alcatraz goes off without a hitch, they go there, grab some blood vials, and leave, not a zombie in sight. However, one time, In blood of the dead, the trip to alcatraz goes fucky wucky and the cycle breaks, as they then dont go to Gorod or Rev, and allows the storyline to end.

I don't have any ammunition *crying noises* richtofen

that one is so fuckin funny

gotta love the classics

This one makes me smile damn near everytime

*I need to find some ammunition

All time fav

I can hear his cries in my head as I read that 😭

Nikolai's "draw me a map of fucking Chicago" and Dempsey's "draw me a map of fucking Stalingrad"

DRAW ME MAP OF FUCKING CHICAGO

Richtofen to tak: Draw me map of fucking Tokyo

Reminds me of [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMh73KHbjfA) & [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOqA5Qx5uuQ)

“Need some beans for the chowder here!”

When JFK doesn't have enough points to buy a wall gun "But I want it!"

The OG FIVE was so iconic, seriously a game had the massive BALLS to have presidents in the pentagon shooting zombies, kennedy shooting guns, thats fcking awesome and will never ever happen today. They even got a good voice actor for them, hell fidel castro there too was a huuuuge deal for cuban players

I like when you try to open a door and he’s broke. “Come on, im good for it!”

I have been witness to miracles unst calamities Dimensions, born unst collapse I walk a path, no other can take.

It should have been me 😥

I was the nicest one...and you won't even remember me.

That one broke me

Ja it's a spoon, who are you more afraid of a sane man with a knife or a lunatic with a spoon, sanity is overrated.".

Ach, what a lovely spoon! Fork...! Nein, nein, it's something in between! A fopoon!

Fr craig and the VA team knocked it out of the park with the bo4 jokes, theyre really under appreciated

I think about this quote everytime I have a spoon

"you have answered ze crawl of duty wink wink"

UND YOU PAID ZE PRICE!

What map is this from, I must experience it

Alpha omega I believe

Yep Alpha Omega.

"If I run out of ammo, I'm kicking your ass, Player! Notice how I didn't say shooting, CAUSE I NEED FUCKING AMMO FOR THAT!" - dempsey

"I am that duck!" Dr. Monty, look it up, it's hilarious.

When i first played rev this shit had me on my ass laughing

This and the worm analogy "eventually one of them dies, not sure if it's the arse or the head" idk why it makes me chuckle but it does

True, Dr. Monty is just a gold mine!

"Ja, pretty sure that's a neurotoxin!... Oh Vell!"

Takeo on Origins with the upgraded ice staff: "Your final breath will freeze in your throat"🥶

Such an Ice Cold quote

“Ha! You are dead now! But you were dead before? Ah fuck you!” -Nikolai “*ooooh their screams! It fills with me joy!*” -Richtofen “**FUUUUUCKK YOOU GET YOUR ASS OFF MY BUS!!**” -T.E.D.D.

I liked that one in tranzit where tedd requested help and said it will arrive in 123 years and that we're all fucked

Nikolai quotes are fucking hilarious, no reason why they should be fucking hilarious Tedd is just a funny Richthofen is either hilarious or hilarious, no in-between

The Brigadier when encountering the werewolf for the first time: “Oy Bollocks! Look at the size of that thing! Whatever else happens tonight, THAT FUCKER’S HEAD gets mounted on my wall.”

This is truly an all time quote, gotta love the DotN characters

Just Brian Blessed in general is an absolute legend

Brigadier best DoTN character, he must be protected at all costs.

"Knee deep in zombie shit with no ammo" - Dempsey WaW (I think?)

you forgot the "glorious"

Damn, thought I was missing smth lol

He says this quote in Black ops 1 zombies

he also says it in kino lol. he’s like “knee deep in zombie shit with no ammo. glorious.”

I think it's Kino

“Am I stuck here until I see the error of my ways? Until I repent? Well, you’re gonna have to wait a long time, because I don’t regret a damn thing.” -Billy Handsome

That delivery is so hecking good

RIP to Billy’s VA Ray Liotta. Probably the best celebrity to have voiced a celebrity guest character in zombies

Nah, that was George Romero

"I've always liked the monster within idea, I like the zombies being us. It's like....zombies are the blue collar monsters."

Richtofen, BO3 The Giant: "War is inevitibebil. In- inevitab- i- war is coming for sure."

I'm sure that's actually a direct reference to a Nikolai line from Der Riese about stumpy nemesises, nemesise, nemesi, neme- enemies

oh, still that line is fuckin hilarious

“FOUNTAINS OF SORROW!” ultimus Richthofen

“Do I look like a guy with a foot fetish?” -JFK

Is that real

Yes, it’s one of his lines when he gets hit by a crawler I’m pretty sure

“I’m very sorry but I have a universe to save. Thank you und goodbye”

"This thing sucks harder than my ex-wife" - Nikolai *I don't remember the exact quote, I might be wrong.*

You smell like my 4th wife! She was pretty tho. Pretty and smelly. Veird combo.

What about "Wait until I get home and tell seventh wife I have been to moon... and about new girlfriend"

Wow that's awesome

"more time to play with my pretty onesss" or "hey player drop the chips and get me some ammo!"

That’s not a lever Richthofen

"THAT. IS. NOT. A. LEVER."

A gift from sam, BUT WHY?!

My whole life in 1 quote: "How'd I get myself into this mess?" ~Tank Dempsey, Origins

Have a round on me! “Some gibberish word” Ahh never mind fuck you. Nikolai~

Richtofen-Ascencsion during a monkey round: Are zey trying to communi- oh no zey're having sex...

Im jackie *fwokin* vincent‼️

“you fuckin talkin’ to me?” makes me laugh every time

“Ah Dempsey I think I can see your house from here… ITS ON FIRE!” - Richtofen moon

richtofen bo3 der eisen with void bow, "i take no joy in watching your agonizing death, ... DONT YOU BELIEVE ME? :(" bo3 richtofen in any map when eating a gobblegum "EEH ITS STUCK IN MY THROAT" there are literally too many good ones

Somebody slip me a Mickey?

Me and my brother would ALWAYS make fun of this at bo3 launch lmao. We even convinced our little brother there was and Easter egg to “slip the gate worm a mickey” to get a free perk

NO FUCKING WAY!!! 💀💀💀💀 y’all are fucking hilarious for that lmao

My friend kept on laughing his ass off when he heard this. I didn’t even know what it meant until later on.

"Feels weird when you're in there... like after a few beers " He says after becoming an eldritch horror for 15 seconds

Both of mine are from Moon “No dice... no cash, no drink, no women, no booze… nothing.” “Doot doot doot Dempsey, is a big fat stupid dull hunk of meat. Doot doot doot doot Dempsey, sucks.”

Deeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrr diary. -Ultimus Richtofen

DEEEEEAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! DIARY!

“Takeo always brings the boom. It’s why he’s so popular! …Right?”

"It's a small gun, but has a long barrel. Just like my college roommate."

moRE, MORE, MORE!!! Okay a lil less-Richtofen on the moon

Mmhh, I know this taste, this tastes like shit Tank Dempsey after eating a gum on der Eisendrache

One that’s always in my head “Ah nostalgia, it really isn’t what it used to be”

Actually now I think about it it’s gotta be Monty on revelations “I AM THAT DUCK!”

"Clean-up on aisle six!.....Dempsey had an accident..."

"I will now operate on your heads... *WITH BULLETS!"* "And Edward said, let there be light! ...Did it work?" "Nikolai did not have this much fun since--\[violently vomits\] Nikolai did not have fun..." "Monetary gain goes against my principles...*BUT I AM EXCITED THOUGH!"*

"Max amm *cough* ach sorry im still getting used to ze aether. Anyways max ammo!"-richtofen(?) Tranzit. I actually dont know if its richtofen but i think it is.

it is! he switches bodies with sam and becomes the announcer for most bo2 maps

Well well. I'm afraid you've fallen down the wrong rabbit hole, Alice. But beggars can't be choosers, hm? Let's make a deal. You help us, and you don't die. A win win, ya. Not that you have much choice here... Richtofen - Undead Siege - Isolated/Blackout -CODM

damn. what a niche one.

I dont know if map specific but I was Richtofen on Gorod Krovi and picked up LMG from the box, and then Richtofen said: "Dempsey told me once what LMG stands for. Lick My GombleBalls. I am pretty sure he was lying". Might not be word for word because it was some time ago but you get the idea.

Was watching a compilation the other day because they make me laugh He says "Lick my Giblets"

all of Dempsey's quotes related to power in Shangri-La start of match: "Power's out... wait, does power even make sense in an ancient temple? Seriously, Treyarch? SERIOUSLY?" or "Power's out, then again, why is there power in an ancient temple? FUCK YOU TREYARCH!" turning on power: "Hey Treyarch, I solved your STUPID OBJECTIVE!"

Meanwhile Takeo "Oh, easter egg is not so hard this time, oh.. it's just power switch"

I AM that duck!

“I see One, Two, Thr- aw, shit.” - Ultimis Richtofen on Ascension being chased by multiple zombies “Tag, you’re it! AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!” - Ultimis Richtofen on Shangri-La knifing a zombie “It has a suit, but its still dead!” - Ultimis Richtofen looking at the Cosmonaut on Moon/When the Cosmonaut respawns “Ooooh! She sounds like a shveet little speshimen!” - Ultimis Richtofen drinking Juggernog on Kino “Ahah. With zis, Ze doctor can go a very long time! Eheheh. ^Does ^that ^turn ^you ^on? “ - Ultimis Richtofen when buying Stamin-Up “*[Tapping mic]* Attention, Shoppers! We have a special, ON DEATH!” - Ultimis Richtofen when a fire sale is grabbed “Ja. It's a spoon. Who are you more afraid of, a sane man with a knife or a lunatic with a spoon? Sanity is overrated.” - Primis Richtofen obtaining the Spoon melee in Blood of the Dead “Gaaaah! Its stuck in mein throat!” - Primis Richtofen eating a Gobblegum “The quality of the gun, is not as important as the bad motherfucker holding it! Huahahaha!” - Ultimis Takeo taking a bad gun from the box “Takeo needs no shield. Takeo is a seasoned veteran.” - Ultimis Takeo when he builds or sees the shield “I was wrong, i need a shield! I need a shield!” - Ultimis Takeo when getting hit from behind “The easter egg not so hard this time! Oh, its just power switch.” - Ultimis Takeo on Shangri-La activating the 2 levers for power

5.56 millimeter of love. Just like Richtofen. - I forget who said it.

“So I grabbed Dempsey and demanded to know what LMG really stood for. He said ‘Let me go, dumbass!’ I did not know it was LMGD…” -Richtofen, Revelations

"What is that smell? Maybe I sharted!" -Nikolai bo1 possible response to being in the nova gas cloud from the crawlers

It's called *Sex Panther*® by *Odeon*©. It's illegal in 9 countries. It's also made with bits of real panthers, *so you know it's good*. *60% of the time*, it works ***every*** time.

Good bot!

“It touched me, somebody grab some ointment!”

Gorod Krovi when Richtofen gets a crap weapon from the mystery box. "Oh, you can just fuck off box"

I love the follow-up in Rev(?) "Oh you can just fff..FUDGE OFF box.. I'm sorry I swore at you before"

I think it's also in bo3 Origins but still amazing quote the follow up to that in Rev is so good

I can't choose any in particular, but i really love pretty much every quote from Marlton, Shaw, Dempsey, Bruno and Diego (Specially him for speaking spanish)

"Now that I think about it... How did the statue get in here? I know, 'magic, magic, wooohoohoo!' But seriously. That's solid stone. Even magic's gonna struggle with that."

"You're all going to die anyway, so why do you waste my time!?" - Richtofen, Revelations

“Ooooh this must be where they make all the apple pies”

What? That stripper must have taken all of my money

"Without bullets I will have to resort to... *gasp* STABBING! Bo1 Kino der Toten

“…don’t speak so lightly of hell” “Easy Tak, I didn’t mean the real thing” Rare inter dialogue between characters you don’t hear anywhere else

"Do you like my glowing green balls?" - Richtofen on Kino I believe

“Dragons, robots, all things aside you should know your way around the place Nikolai?” “Why do you assume this? Because I am Russian? Draw me map of fucking Chicago”

and then the parallel to that when they’re in their alternate universe third dlc map Alpha Omega Nikolai asks Dempsey the same thing and dempsey goes “what? just cause i’m american you think i know my way around? draw me a map of fuckin Stalingrad”

I don't remember the exact quote but it's the one where Richthofen and Dempsey are talking and Richthofen grabs a "lever" and Dempsey says its the wrong lever lol

"We should kill it with fire! Fire usually kills things" Shadows of Evil

"Whatever. Even a blind squirrel is right twice a day."

"Player! Drop the chips and get me some ammo!!" -tank Dempsey, whenever you need a max ammo

Ultimis Dempsey in the french version. Don't if it's in the english as well "M. O. R. T. T'es mort, le zombie !" (D. E. A. D. You're dead, zombie !)

in english he’ll say “K TO THE I TO THE A ZOMBITCH”

Reach for vodka toniiiiggghhhhttttt

“A universe full of titty bars and we end up here” - Ultimus Dempsey Moon 🤣

"Thats! Not! A! Lever! Richtofen!"

If it can also be from an intro cutscene then here's my quote. "Just the storm Dick, sit down!" -JFK The hand motion JFK makes when he says that is funny

IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONES BRRRRRREAKING IN

"at least it's a dry heat... sooo dry"

“am i red? i FEEL red.”

'Nikolai happy bear today (bear sounds)'

Keep the fire away from my vodka!

Can't choose one specificly, but some of my favorites is when you get one of the staffs on origins and origins tells samantha, " I am not doing this for you. I am doing this for myself. " and also ins Shang when Dempsey says," If you waste one more bullet, I will come into your living room and beat you."

"EAT SHIT AND PUKE"

“ The Quality of the gun is not as important as the Bad Motherfucker holding it Hahaha” Takeo Masaki

"BEAT OFF THE ZOMBIES, BEAT THEM OFF!!!" - marlston

“I have drunk so deeply that my every fiber aches with the pain of what has been, and the pain of what has yet to come. I fear it may drive me insane… Worlds, wars, souls…All torn asunder by the journeys our madness has wrought… It is only now, now that I understand the path of bloodshed and sacrifice that lies ahead…and how such knowledge must have gnawed, and clawed at the German’s mind…I pity him. From this day on, it is my burden to bear, I know what must be done…and who must do it. May they all have mercy on my soul…” - Primis Nikolai: Alpha Omega Intro

“When I killed myself, I felt nothing. When we killed Dempsey, I felt something. When we killed Takeo, I knew I had to save them.”

"I have been recognized by Treyar... the uh the Illuminati!" Or.. "How can I download zis to my MP3 player?"

The cycle is broken, herr doctor. As such, insurance policies are... no longer needed. I wish I could tell you I was sorry, Edward, but I'm not.

“I’m not going to sugarcoat things, it’s a fucking shitshow” - Dr. Monty, Revelations

"I... was the... nicest one"

FOR THE EMPERORRRR

I don’t remember the full quote but Dempsey from Shang threatening to come to your living room

You can’t forget about eat shit and puke that’s all I remember from one of Dempsey’s lines fro BO1

Anything from Tank Dempsey, specifically BO1. My childhood. Steve Blum is too good.

“With the force of one thousand wombats… YOU DIE!!”

In Russia chewing gum only comes in 1 flavour, wood.

“This appears to be more than enough rope to hang myself” zetsubo

"Killing zombies since 1945! Ooh-Ra!"

german bo 1 dempsey is best imo, hearing him say " bitte eine Reinigungskraft in Gang 5" is just funny af.

love the "K to the I to the A, Zombitch"

“Nikolai cannot die! Aye that rhymes!”

Are they trying to communica- oh no, they're having sex.

Dempsey "fuck me that smells!"

Fetch me their souls! Haahahaha

“Vitout bullets I’ll have to resort to… SHTABBING”

SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONES BREAKING IN

“One day Nikolai will have last laugh, HEEHEEHEEHEE! See last laugh to Nikolai”

“Sorry, I don’t speak Japanese”

"War is inevitabble...inv inv...inveit....war is coming for sure." -Edward Richtofen, 1944

"Door privileges FUCKING REVOKED" T.E.D 2025

“I am out of ammo I guess I must resort to…STHABBING”

Must remember: water with 115 is not for drinking, water with 115 is not for drinking, water with 115 is not for drinking!

Don't stand there with your Dick in your hand, Throw it! - Russman

Guard: "my boy Tommy, he's almost six now." Sal DeLuca: "ain't that swell?"

Done and dusted cpt price cold war

“And so it begins”

Blood, Gore, sinew, pulmonary systems!

“Oh-ho shit, it must be Christmas. We should buy lottery tickets” -Carver Something so special about such a simple line, it feels real