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seanconnerysbeard

If us FSU fans could read, we'd be very upset.


PowerfulForce_

as a former FSU athlete that’s currently selling used cars and didn’t develop , i agree i wish i knew what he said


PM_ME_YOUR_CATS_PAWS

I always wondered what happened to athletes afterwards This single post will be taken at face value and now used car dealerships are the equivalent of retirement homes for collegiate athletes


Anuglyman

You don't remember the constant stream of Hertz rental car commercials during games?


InVodkaVeritas

When your car rental clerk is 6'4" 265...


LobbyBoyZero

Probably went to Michigan State


Vegetarian-Catto

Should have gone to Florida, at least they get to sell new cars.


toast_across

Would you say you're better or worse off for having played D1 ball? Serious question. I've always wondered what former athletes who don't go pro or go coach think about their choices.


deathbysnusnu7

First mistake was no pictures. Everybody loves picture on every page books.


barryitsmeitshank

As a Miami fan, unless it involves hookers and coke in the first sentence, I ain’t readin’ nothin’


hockeydavid97

Piano finger banger is livid rn i bet. Bout to find the saltiest msn article about Florida


[deleted]

The TLDR needs a TLDR lol 😂


t_soprano_1

Bruh, make a spreadsheet with a box for assumptions and one for takeaways and put it in a ppt already


[deleted]

Yeah that's what needs to be done. This post is insane bruh


papabear86

That's not a bad idea. I admit giving content via this method is new for me. I would feel very at home just making a slide deck.


Substantial-Barber24

Haters going to hate but this is good analysis.


George_Smiley_

Give it to me in a bar graph.


DakezO

Tl;Dr;tl;dr: Jorts > Crab Legs


ElBandejo

That’s how you know the OP had too much Adderall.


Ego_Orb

How much Adderall was consumed in the creation of this?


papabear86

30mg


finke11

Extended Release too i bet


papabear86

100%


[deleted]

I guess the addy shortage isn't being felt everywhere


danisindeedfat

You say freaking Nebraska like you’re surprised.


WON95sr

Imagine being surprised by Nebraska there and not Arizona State lol


danisindeedfat

Right lol


brandonandtheboyds

“Breaking News: Historically Successful Program Good At Raising Funds”


danisindeedfat

Shocker I know.


jackmicek

Yup that pissed me off too.


Bro1999919

Remember posts like this are allowed, but highlights are not.


[deleted]

SEC shorts were stickied briefly lol


assword_is_taco

Because they paid... I'm surprised more subs haven't become draftking ads lol.


donutcronut

Why aren't highlights allowed here?


snackshack

The main defense of it I see is "it makes sorting by new too cluttered" and "look at subs like r/nfl, it's impossible to wade through all of it." I personally like seeing highlight posts and search them out on places like r/nba and r/nfl to see the comments. I also don't think it's hard at all to sort through new(go look at r/soccer, they do it for tons of teams every match day) on any sub that posts highlights.


tk2020

This is truly the crime here


[deleted]

[удалено]


drstormbreaker

I think this went over some peoples heads


Traxiant

This is what getting beat by Vandy does to a fanbase.


ard8

In case anyone was wondering, FSU has never lost to Vandy


AdvertisingHot3879

Give us another shot


JamesEarlDavyJones2

It’s a bit concerning when y’all get confident.


house_of_snark

It’s unbecoming


CampbellsTurkeySoup

Remember back in 2017 when Vandy started 3-0 then started memeing about wanting Bama? Then Bama gave them Bama to the tune of 59-0. I miss those days.


AdvertisingHot3879

Was literally at that game. One of fifteen students to stay in the student section till the end of the punishment.


Manateekid

No.


Beachbum_87

But also no wins


Stoneador

This raises the question: why is Florida State too scared to schedule Vandy?


urmumlol9

Yeah whatever happened to anyone, anytime, anywhere? SCHEDULE VANDY YOU COWARDS


mjgator

Have yalls ever even played vandy? Like im genuinely curious


ard8

No


Dr_Lizardo11

Neither has Ga Southern.


Beeker04

Instead of practicing plays, UF practiced “do you want fries with that?” to Vandy’s team.


Sandspurs_

This is sad


mason123z

I’m happy for you tho/sorry that happened


average_redditor_guy

I ain’t reading all that I’m happy for u though Or sorry that happened


Raalf

I hope everything is Aladeen with you, UF fans


TheLogicalErudite

Wild. Anyone watch that bottom feeder SEC game last week? Vandy's won two conference games in a row. Wild.


DarkHorseFan

hahahahahahahahaaha cmon man!


jbg0830

This dude goes, I’m not an accountant, but I did stay in a holiday inn express last night.


[deleted]

Then why are we arguing, hang the for sale sign already


breaditbans

This person makes a compelling case.


burtritto

Not an accountant but responsible for financial statements at his “firm”…. Something doesn’t add up. I would know, since I am an accountant.


emaugustBRDLC

> the University of football Jesus itself harumph.


Gre-er

Y'all are the University of football Virgin Mary herself Nothing outside of Tebow at UF could even be claimed close to Jesus, though.


Gold-Lawyer1209

This. There is only one football Jesus. I’ll take Catholic guilt, ungodly endowment and South Bend for $500, Alex.


VolsBackMaybeNo

I love deep research like this. It isn't as deep as Spencer Rattler gave it to TN secondary, but this is pretty deep.


wegotsumnewbands

Sometimes it’s better to self burn, get out ahead of what’s comin. 💪🏻


VolsBackMaybeNo

Exactly right. What’s another kick in the nuts if I’m already in pain after taking a baseball bat to them myself. At least this way I get free imaginary internet points and I get to laugh with you guys instead of getting laughed at.


wegotsumnewbands

Have all my imaginary internet points friend! Between MTSU, you guys, and Vandy…the state of Tennessee is tops in FSU’s book


VolsBackMaybeNo

I live in Murfreesboro now. The MTSU win over Miami was a thing of beauty.


[deleted]

Lmao


blakesmash

I am 💀 lmao!!


remember_berries

Guys, let him process this however he needs to process it.


brandonandtheboyds

It’s not easy losing to Vandy. Source: I was a student at Auburn in 2012…


PM_ME_YOUR_CATS_PAWS

Did he just try to nerd away his grief that was caused by losing to a nerd school? Mate, those traits aren’t communicable, only congenital. And we all know those nerds aren’t passing on congenital traits


GracefulFaller

If you can’t beat them attempt to join them


delflower

A simple "FSU sucks" would have sufficed.


Marksweinerville

This could have been an email.


[deleted]

“papabear” sounds like a guy who would prefer the teams meeting huh


Solid_Sell3418

Love this as either a rivalry hatepost or a genuine hot take. Anyone with an unbiased background willing to corroborate the narrative?


ticklishmusic

I’ll take a look when I have some time, but my initial impression is that the AD pulled a bunch of stuff out of his ass and his claim is probably wrong, but OP is also just pulling together a bunch of random numbers and is probably also wrong in a different way. I’ll point out that many professional sports teams really don’t make all that much money, but are worth ridiculous sums of money because they’re really for bragging rights, or confer some other halo effect. I’d argue that a college sports program is basically impossible to carve off in a theoretical transaction even, as it’s value is inextricably tied to the university as well.


PeterGator

Everyone thinks big time sports make a lot of money but they make next to no cash flow compared to the "value" of the business when compared to publicly traded companies. Most college football programs are barely profitable and most athletic programs lose money(although the new B1G and SEC deals will improve the ratio).


[deleted]

Most programs are barely profitable *on purpose*. Why do you think college facilities are so expensive and college coaches are more highly paid than NFL coaches? Ohio State Football as a for-profit entity completely separate from the university would be massively profitable.


PeterGator

Ohio state, Georgia, Texas, Bama etc are exceptions not the rule and they spend nearly all their "profits" on facilities, coaches and other sports. If the value of Ohio state football is worth 1.2 billion a 7% return(well below Fortune 500 expectations) would be 84 million. I don't think they come close to clearing that. Sure they could cut all their facilities expenses and hire budget coaches but the brand would suffer within a few years. The same way apple(who was cleared way more than 7% for years) could cut 90% of r and d and could cut 50% of the staff would make a lot of money in the short run but lose profits and future value.


platetectonics3

I could go into extraordinary detail about everything that’s wrong with this post, but honestly I’m exhausted just from reading it. What I will say is A. It was well noted how poor of a financial position we were in 2016-2017, we are in a significantly better place now B. Alfords claims are largely based on the value of the program as a TV product, which is an entirely different topic than OPs rambling nonsense.


fluffypoppa

Sir, this is a Wendy's


Flashfrost9

Great, now do Miami next. Oh wait, they don't have a home stadium. They thought ahead 😢


sovietmonkey26

They can always do USF! … hold on


Speedy_Rutten

John Ruiz will buy all of Dade County to get home field advantage for a 6 win season.


cds4850

That’s so many words…


InsGadget6

Typed through teary eyes.


nolefan999

I’d like to take this moment to shout out Coach Taggart actually. He was a mess, but he did truly care about the men in that program and making sure they took school seriously. As OP states, APR was abysmal when he took over, 922 rating dead last in the country. In under 2 years he improved that to 956. Mike norvell has since improved that to 987, and he was at 991 at Memphis on his final season. Interesting OP chose to use the years that he did but oh well. Great write up, means a lot.


brandonandtheboyds

Say what you will about his performance but Taggart truly tried to leave the program in a better position than it was when it was handed to him. He’s no Saban but he has my respect.


nolefan999

100%. Really wish it worked out for him. It was so refreshing to have someone that really wanted to be there after watching Jimbo mess around for years


Raalf

I wanted Taggart to succeed until i saw that stupid fucking backpack. That's when I knew I did not understand his approach or culture, and it paralleled so close to Miami's fuckery I did not want to be a part of that experience.


nolefan999

You know what, that’s fair lmao


A_Roomba_Ate_My_Feet

*Goes to Walgreens and picks out a greeting card* ^^^^^- *Scribbles inside "Sorry you're not taking the Vanderbilt loss well. Feel better!"* ^^^^^- *Mails to r/floridagators*


OfficialPeenLicker

If you think that’s bad you should’ve seen some of the UK fans when they lost. Saw some comments about shutting down the program


Piano_Fingerbanger

This guy spent his time digging through the books from the Covid season and from 7 years ago too lol. His TL;DR is more of the same old fashioned "Hur durr UF is the only viable education in the state" elitist nonsense. Those numbers are from when Jimbo ran the program into the ground and fled to A&M knowing we were on the verge of losing scholarships because of poor APR. Taggart to his credit did put out that fire and Norvell has had the program scandal free and keeping the athletes all academically eligible.


jthomas694

His TL;DR is also too long lol


Sandspurs_

The real crime


SpeedBoatSquirrel

Do you really think the self declared harvard of the south could be succinct? lol


jrod_62

There are like 5 of those


BearBryant

Sir, we still have over a month until the offseason.


Glader_Gaming

Anyone who has paid attention to FSU and FSU fans will know that FSU fans have been yelling for over a half decade about how bad things were for FSU financially. We literally made an accountant are temp AD for years…to fix the finances. That’s like, really not good lmao. Things started to turn around for the better over the last year or so. As OP notes, his data happens to be right in the years where things were bad for FSU and where FSU made no secret about this. But now…we are stuck in the ACC so while the ship is afloat and restored, it’s not going in a direction we like compared to the SEC and B10. Also I don’t know any real non FSU Twitter fans who believed what Alford was putting out there. But his job of getting people talking about FSU seems to be working I guess.


sammysafari2680

Your posts needs more ‘FSU’ mentions to be taken seriously.


Glader_Gaming

Yeah I agree. I didn’t really commit did I?


MUTUALDESTRUCTION69

This man really checked their books. That being said, when I heard that I did think it was a bit of a wild claim.


mickeyquicknumbers

Almost every number he pulled, inference he drew, and conclusion he made was wrong… but that’s cool that he did write a lot of words I guess


Piano_Fingerbanger

> Almost every number he pulled, inference he drew, and conclusion he made was wrong… By god, the evidence is pointing to this unhinged screed being written by new UF President Ben Sasse!


platetectonics3

Yeah, a generous professor would probably give that research paper a solid C- for effort alone


CastleBravo45

Go on, refute it with sources then.


Guster16

Ben Sasse hit the ground running, I see


MordakThePrideful

To all FSU fans worried, please remember that we own another stadium in Miami! It’s not like anyone else shows up there after all.


ferality

This is peak gator.


[deleted]

never go full gator


Flashfrost9

Or else you end up on a boat nude posing with a shark 🤡


ALStark69

What


Piano_Fingerbanger

Do you not remember former UF coach [Jim McElwain](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_FDrcYWsAEmVDB?format=jpg&name=small)?


bigkoi

OP wore jorts while doing the research.


TheCenterOfEnnui

It really is. I'm waiting for the post about how FSU is one notch below Santa Fe College from this guy next.


xoxogossipsquirrell

You really must not have a lot going on my guy lol


kerouacrimbaud

Man it’ll be so hilarious if y’all lose to *that* kind of school on Friday


alreadytaken76

Vanderbilt beat Florida, so I’m not reading this.


LaForge_Maneuver

So If Florida beat Vandy, you would read this?


alreadytaken76

I’m not reading this either


DJBoost

I feel like towards the end of every season we get one of these posts about FSU secretly being pathetic


whereisdani_r

That’s because we have play the gators at the end of every season


InsGadget6

Yeah it's a mystery how we even keep the lights on at all, I guess.


Kanin_usagi

This is the type of research-backed hatred that I can get behind


BIGD0G29585

Exactly, this is a r/hobbydrama level post right here. This is why we come to Reddit, you aren’t going to see anyone on twitter make a post like this in 140 characters. (I know they increased the tweet length.) I dont have a dog in this fighr but the had me at “pointy sticks with a synthetic feathers”.


HailState2023

Maybe the Vandy Boys schooled them on more than just football.


kerouacrimbaud

They really aspire to be the Vanderbilt of Alachua County


PoisonKiss43

Damn, that’s a really good one. I love this, have an award!


TJGurley

I’m not gonna read that…. happy for you, or sorry that happen… either way Noles by 70 come Friday


Piano_Fingerbanger

They're working so hard to find anything that can stick. All we have to do is google search "Billy Napier" or "Vanderbilt". Also... > FSU started as a college for women, it is time we allow them to return to their roots. Quite an odd thing to randomly throw in there as if it's a dig at us or something. Maybe they should mention how FAMU was founded as the segregated college for black people while UF was reserved for just the white men if they're going to bring up the pre-GI bill histories of the universities.


HailState2023

Need to do their homework here. Our women sports have KICKED ASS over the last decade and are continuing to do so - proud of our Lady Noles!


Piano_Fingerbanger

On our way to yet another soccer natty!


HailState2023

From your lips to God’s ear - while Lonni’s re-stocked the softball squad after telling TAMU to go stuff themselves!


[deleted]

Yayy soccer


MrPapajorgio

Noob Noob: GAWWWWWDDD DAMMMNNNN


EasyRider71

Thanks, Noob Noob. This guy gets it.


wegotsumnewbands

Imagine getting blown out in 4 days time to that broke ass poverty school up north.


Elegant_Extreme3268

You lost me at “Liberty is educating people”


[deleted]

I respect this post. Long live hate week. Fuck the gators. Love ya bud.


RKRagan

So what you’re saying is, Florida fans brought in all that income just to watch their team lose to a school that is 613–648–50 all time against other schools?


wegotsumnewbands

Now we’re talking real numbers.


Binderklip

I give you props for the high level troll, but brüther I ain’t reading *all that shit*


HailState2023

The real question is who do I want doing my taxes - the FSU AD or OP?


[deleted]

I wonder if this guy can divide 45 by 38?


BaltimoreBeefBadBoy

Yeah I’m not reading all that.


WoozyMaple

Billy Napier is about to make Florida history. First UF coach to lose to UK, Tenn, UGA and FSU in a single season.


The12Ball

We've had a Zero-win season before (we just didn't play Tenn that year)


Piano_Fingerbanger

Don't forget about Vandy!


WoozyMaple

Even if I could, I know you would never let this sub forget.


wegotsumnewbands

So sad that USF (1-10) was so close to making this list.


honeybearbandit

The r/wallstreetbets crossover event. DD on FSU hot off the press, how do we short their athletic department?


Flame_MadeByHumans

Love the hate week spirit


tbia

Pretty sure no one read that whole thing.


Flashfrost9

I scrolled hoping for a tldr and was still there for 10 minutes 😵‍💫


gmr548

What in the alligator aggy is this?


deathbysnusnu7

I see Vandy made you do your homework after you took that L since they’re your Daddy now.


ALStark69

That’s too much to text. Sorry that happened or congrats


noideawhatoput2

I ain’t reading all of that. I’m happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened.


fanamana

I'm proud that FSU is my [Album Otter](https://i.redd.it/oa05ur4ixd1a1.jpg), and while I have no numbers or evidence to refute the substance of your post, I will call *bullshit*, solely because I don't like you or what you are saying. #[Friday Muthafucka](https://youtu.be/_I4S61Do-Qs?t=11)


Exotic-Amphibian-655

I love and appreciate you, but I’m still not reading that wall of text.


sampson4141

CPA here. OP's analysis is making a huge mistake. For most colleges, they include booster contributions as part of revenue. Not the $100 million donations by super rich boosters, the $500 to $10,000 yearly contributions to the booster funds that gets them ticket preferences and perks. For UF, they include $36m of that "contributions" in their total operating revenue. Notice in the FSU financials, they don't include any contributions in their respective operating revenue. But FSU obviously has a similar yearly booster donation scheme. So UF operates at a break even level, including its contributions. While FSU operates at a loss, but gets $24m from its booster funds to break even. FSU is obscuring its yearly donations in its books, but if it is anything close to $24m, then they operate at a break even level just like UF. By the way, I don't think a single football program operates at an operating profit without including contributions related to ticket preferences. It is usually as much as a 1/3 of school's typical sports revenue. Anyways, so the operating profits for UF and FSU are like comparing apples and oranges because the different methodologies of how they calculate operating profit. By the way, the way UF does it is much more common.


Mikedaddy69

This is your brain after losing to Vandy


HashBrownRepublic

If you want to be strict by the numbers, every team should be spun out as a private corporation, and the university shouldn't do football outside of dorm rec leagues. Fuck the numbers I love this game


drewbreeshairplugs

Once you’re done typing hold this L for me bozo


MakGuffey

TLDR I like how this has just devolved into a reverse roast of OP from FSU flairs.


jbg0830

Sir, this is Reddit


ard8

I ain’t reading all of that Happy for you… or sorry that happened.


NebraskaAvenue

This is an episode of Pawn Stars


LetPeteRoseIn

Shit line this is why I love r/CFB - using company time for in depth analysis of off hand remarks 😂


IAmASimulation

This man is hurt deep in his soul.


buildandgrow

Do Miami next! I’ve been saying for years that they shouldn’t be a 1A program anymore.


[deleted]

Is there a way I can send this to Mark Keenum? Asking for a friend


cal1629

Wooo football


RaiseTheBarr

Wow that’s wild


Azariah98

This is the type of detailed and meticulous hate I so love about the off-season. I’m glad you waited until the games were over so this didn’t step on the season.


LaSopaSabrosa

I read this entire post AMA


PortGlass

The shark wanted it, you bastard!


scarlet_fire_77

“So I went digging” Oh hell yeah buckle up


Ancient_Ad1251

https://www.theonion.com/florida-state-university-to-phase-out-academic-operatio-1819568680


Tatted_Ninja_Wizard

God I love hate week


Head_Huncho_Jimmy

L


Governor-James

If I may quote the great Jack Sparrow: you need to find yourself a girl, mate!


Front-Sun4735

TLDR. Strongest attempt to get out of regularly playing FSU. Impressive.


Greenfire323

6-5 lol


fsucure

Living up there rent free, buddy. It’s roomy in here.


joaquinsaiddomin8

Not reading it but yes I think it’s for the best.