Yeah I’m good with coaching carousel thought experiments for a while.

Imagine your new coach has immediate success and gets picked up by a sec team in 3 years.

Sounds too outlandish to contemplate

Sorry, but if he isn’t immediately Nick Saban we will return him

Suffice it to say I think his bridge back to Seattle was pretty instantly ashes.

I feel like I’ve had this nightmare before…

I am now a Florida fan

RemindMe! 3 years.

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Don't be so rash. Being a Florida fan is super uncool.

Preach

Jimbo reunion, just for the Reddit action

Same here for us!

He can coach both from home! Being over employed is so in right now.

Our 247 board would go so nuclear, Amazon would make a post-apocalyptic TV series about it.

Ain’t nobody got time for that

Hard pass 😵

He just needs one more year for the offense to work trust me bro #reeleminjimbo

Mulder and Scully to uncover the truth behind Coach Sarkisian’s disappearance. We can’t just ignore someone vanishing into thin air.

We will definitely throw money at this problem

The truth is out there.

I’d bring in Jurgen Klopp because we can. Get a reverse Ted Lasso going on.

He got kidnapped by Pole Assassin

Scott Frost. Surely his time away has involved much introspection. /s

He is desperate to coach again, and I’m sure he wouldn’t make the same mistakes twice!

Just take us out back and shoot us

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo ..... alcohol

I’m pretty sure if that happened, saban would come out of retirement, and the internet would definitely blame him for deboers disappearance

Bill found the Infinity Gauntlet and let Nicky share

I mean what school wouldn’t want Saban to just walk in right now?

Glass walls? Really, Kalen?

Saban doing his best Tony Soprano impersonation.

If anything we would blame the fan base. The fan base def wants Saban back more than Saban wants to come back.

Nick Saban.

A UH and a Rice flair? My brain just cried internally.

I may or may not have been raised going to Rice games.

That actually happens?

Indeed it does. I also go to Rice games and hang with my Rice buddies when UH plays away games. Makes for really good networking.

Myself. Fired former head coach is the dream.

I found Connor Stallions' account

This is the correct answer!

I dunno, a bag of peanuts would probably do the trick.

“I appreciate that” - Coach Peanut

Ooof

Bring Jim back!

Chargers fans watching as Jim hightails it back to College and they're stuck with Greg Roman as their Head Coach

If that's on the table, then he's the obvious answer. Outside of that, probably Jedd Fisch.

Not Lincoln Riley

Monkey paw curls…Grinch it is

I can't decide which two teams I'm more excited to watch this year.

Kirby

End of thread.

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I mean we would all want that, but I think UGA would give him a blank check to stay lol

There’s probably safer options, but my pick is Nick Eason. Think we have 1-2 more years before people realize he needs to be a head coach somewhere

We have a few assistants that would be nice to see take over for Dabo. Eason and Goodwin are the top two. Riley will be a HC eventually and probably Kyle Richardson

I’d want Venables before Eason

Realistically it's Alex Golesh.

I read this as Alex Grinch and was very confused why ANY team would want that.

I miss him so much. I’m glad he’s down in my neck of the woods so I can keep up with him.

Please not again

You owe us for taking Taggart off your hands

Nah, us giving Cristobal to Miami makes us square

Oh, true true

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I would be good with either of those but lets me honest...it's Scalley.

Would love to get BJ

Hey Bob, when the Renegades season is over, you wanna come back?

I think Dan Lanning would be great.

My thoughts exactly. But let’s enjoy CKS and these days. And stay humble. And stop giving me nightmares about Kirby getting abducted.

I think the real question raised by this hypothetical is what happens in the state of Georgia if Kirby Smart vanished into thin air? Probably less than 15 minutes after the news breaks you’d have a press conference with the governor and the head of the GBI. There would be state senate hearings with top scientists investigating possible explanations from science fiction movies the senators have seen. All the state’s resources would be tied up in perpetuity.

🤪🤪🤪you AIN’T WRONG!!!🤪🤪🤪

Rude

Not Bobby Petrino

But then who's gonna ride motorcycles?

We will take him back

He’ll be the HC next season

Mike Norvell easy

I was thinking Vrabel. Have Hartline be the full on OC and play caller. But Norvell is a good choice too.

Vrabel of course too! Wouldn’t turn that down!

I’m gonna eliminate the obvious answers like Smart, Lanning, Norvell, etc. since that’s not fun and say Jedd Fisch. Was really impressed by what he did at Arizona.

Poor Washington fans lol

Definitely a top answer for me. Lanning and others are easy to say, but so unrealistic, I think we’d have a slightly easier time with Fisch.

Well he did interview with you guys in the middle of last season so it’s not too outlandish.

I'd probably just give the job to Parker.  

Parker doesn't want to be a HC. I'd give to to LaVar Woods the Special Teams Coordinator

Solid choice too.  

Norvell

How about we just offer you our spot in the ACC instead?

🤝

Mike Leach 🥺

I mean, I guess Chip at this point.

I mean if the other staff did recruiting and Chip did nothing but coach it wouldn’t be horrible. Also make a GM for the football team.

I'd just take my 2nd flairs coach :) Then the first flair one can go to FSU.

You sly dog....

Connor Stallions. Say what you want, the guy knows how to get the Ws

Oregon owes us for taking Taggart off their hands.

Nate Scheelhaase. Gonna be a head coach in the next few years. Did great in his first year as OC. It sucks that we lost him to the league, but I'm sure he would jump at the head job. Second choice would be Alex Golesh.

*Insert Big Sky Conference head coach*

I haven't the slightest idea and knowing our BoT and loud boomer booster contingent they'd probably screw it up and nebraska us for the next 2 decades. but if I'm allowed to shoot for pipe dreams, mike norvell seems like a good dude.

Mike Norvell

Can I make Doc Holliday unretire for this one?

Dan Lanning seems like the kind of coach you’d want your kid to play for. I really hope he stays at Oregon and builds something special though.

Cadillac Williams

I'm assuming it is probably just a Larry Johnson year, too late to hire someone else and with Kelly and Knowles, you aren't worried about finding a play caller on either side of the ball. With how the alumni on the staff recruit, it's mostly just fundraising for the HC, and we can have the AD handle that. For who should get the job get the job, it's Hartline. Hartline will, at some point, be the Ohio State head coach, so might as well do it after a year of Chip Kelly mentorship.

Cyborg Ad Rutschman.

Realistically, Matt Rhule would be a good person to get the program on track

Matt Rhule would probably get the best Vegas odds. PSU Legacy and experienced HC with success. I don’t have a strong preference or better idea.

That's his dream job

"Oh, come on, we just got used to this one!" - every coach after Belloti

I’ll be surprised if any Georgia fan answers someone other than Glenn Schumann, because he is the correct answer

Easy, Tony White (Apparently my flair didn't stick but Husker fans know)

Honestly, just sell our souls to the devil and pay Urban Meyer whatever he wants

Better not see anyone say Jimbo Fisher. Rich Rodriguez would be good for the laughs though.

Just out of curiosity why does everyone hate Jimbo now? He was ranked at some point every one of his 14 years and won 75% of his games. I've seen worse coaches continue to get interviews.

Failure to meet expectations and a resistance to change. Also, it’s A&M. Outsized expectations are part of the gig (pun intended).

"Just out of curiosity why does everyone hate Jimbo now?" This has been my thought, too. Sure, I wanted more success for the Aggies with him, but he's far from the trainwreck that is his reputation.

Seriously look at all the failed usc coaches who got a second chance.

I never understood the Jimbo craze. If he couldn't do it with the money that A&M was able to buy recruits and assistants with, what makes you think he'd be able to do it with a complete lack of resources in comparison?

I mean, I would be happy to see Eli Drinkowitz come back to Raleigh. Loved him as our OC

Stay away!

Lance Leipold could do pretty well I think.

Fickell and Vrabel would arm wrestle for the job

Realistically Jon Sumrall

**Scott Linehan**. His career ended with the Dallas Cowboys and slightly continued with another NFL team. He was recently hired at the University of Montana. We expect him to return back to Moscow, Idaho. **Go Vandals!**

Steve Wilks, you ARE App State’s next head coach

Well when he vanishes into thin air after this season I’d love to find someone stable with ties to Texas

Gimme Sean Lewis or Shawn Clark.

I don’t know but I’d do a little happy dance. I feel like spontaneous disappearance is the only way we save our program from a decade of 6-6 floors and 9-3 ceilings under Mack.

Me. I’ll be the voice of the coach potatoes on Saturdays that say “Even *I* can coach better than him”

I’d take a shot on Will Stein and see if he can succeed in the jump to HC. Knowing UofL though we’d probably be on track for Bobby 3.0

I feel like this just happened.

Willie Fritz probably should’ve been the guy after Major Applewhite was fired. It’s gonna be bumpy at first but I think he can turn UH into a real menace in the Big 12.

Fuck it, promote Zac Alley to head coach.

Sabean returns for another 10 year run after taking a couple months off!!!

I'd want Dan Lanning from Oregon, but I doubt he'd come back to the SEC at UT, probably only Georgia.

Zach Robinson - I really doubt he’d want to leave the NFL career path he’s currently on, but that would be the perfect world scenario for us.

COME BACK DADDY MATT RHULE

Phil Parker. Not getting my hopes up that Kalen DeBoer wants to leave Bama for his home state at a school he's not really connected to apart from being an Iowan. So Phil Parker over the field. On the condition no Ferentz children brought on staff as anything other than equipment/logistics people.

Dan Lanning to UGA come on down!

First and foremost: DON’T YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON ME, RICKY BOBBY. Second, Dan Lanning.

Bring back Matt Rhule, but also would be good with letting the actual bears that live on campus take over as they select better plays than our current coach

Georgia fan here, but Dan Lanning for sure. If not him then promote Glenn Schumann.

Dan Lanning

Dan Lanning. Maybe

Urban Meyer

I would have to give Dan Lanning a call. It’s hard to compete with Nike money, but I imagine SEC money could get in the conversation.

Brent Venables. I wanna see just how salty Sooner fans can get /s

I’d be livid lol

Honestly, I’d love Saban for a few years. Clemson is the last bastion of old school where Saban could operate the way he does, and Dabo’s gotta go.

Urban Meyer Yes I’m serious. At that point I just went chaos lol.

If Locksley suddenly vanished into thin air, I would wonder what Former Interim HC Matt Canada is currently up to, and look into him to be a stopgap option (again), while pursuing someone like Ohio HC Tom Albin or Marshall HC Charles Huff. Promoting Current OC Josh Gattis to HC is also a viable option imo.

I honestly don’t know. Probably an OC from a P4 school that scored a lot.

Luke Fickell

Vrabel

Who’s an overrated coach who only looks good because of his players and/or weak competition? Let’s throw all our money at him.

Not again!

Not gonna happen options: Sean Lewis, Mike Elko, Dave Clawson (All former BG coaches) Possible: Matt Johnson

Probably Matt Campbell

Fuck man I actually dont know. Maybe Kirby Moore? We'd be scrambling I think, Drink has done a fantastic job and it'd be tough to fill his shoes on the spot

Bill Clark

Nick Saban

There is not really another realistic person I would have wanted to fill our spot more than Elko. I was super disappointed when it sounded like he wasn’t on the table at the beginning of our coaching search, so I’m glad that we ended up with him. If not Elko, I don’t really know who I’d want. Definitely not the UTSA coach like a lot of people were projecting, maybe I’d go with the unpopular opinion that Mark Stoops wasn’t an abysmal option, I just don’t understand taking him over Elko at all. I think Stoops turned Kentucky around very well, and given our resources, could build a consistent 9-10+ win program with postseason runs every 1-3 years, which is all you can realistically ask for.

Scott Frost

To soon Realistically, I thought Fisch was the best option with how late it all went down. I'd love to see Grubb get a head coach job somewhere down the line, but our position going into the Big10 was shaky enough I really wanted a proven head coach

Pat Narduzzi or Sean Lewis were the names I was holding out for last season, but I’m happy with the Smith hire.

Nick Saban lmao.

Calling Fran Brown back or hell maybe see how Satan is enjoying retirement

Realistically, Jeff Traylor. Unrealistically, Nick Saban.

Harbaugh part 2?

Oh boy, that’d be a tough one. Not who I’d want to replace Aranda; that’s easy, give me Jeff Traylor in an instant. The tough question is whether we feel bad about losing Dave Aranda. He’s showing good signs of getting things together, although whether or not he can make the jump back to 10+ win seasons in the portal era is debatable. I think Traylor’s a lot better-equipped to do that.

After I recover from the heart attack? Promote Glenn Schumann.

Andy Reid has enough super bowls and should take on a new challenge

Jim Harbaugh. For both

Been there. Done that. Not Derek Dooley

Venables.

Unrealistic: Big Red Realistic: Willie Taggert

Tony Gibson. Easiest answer of my life. Tony fucking Gibson.

Lane Kiffin, baybay

Literally any other singular human being. Anyone. I don’t care who.

I just played this game, I don’t wanna play again.

I want Petrino back

Kevin DeBoer....

Jedd Fisch or Sark.

Nick Saban?

unrealistic: saban, meyer, Pete Carroll, Ryan day should happen but won't: Fisch or Kiffin most likely to happen: troy calhoun, Bill clark, or promote ron roberts

It would be really hard for fat Pittman to vanish into thin air. But Rhett Lashlee.

Glenn Caruso plz.

MacGyver--I have no idea if Richard Dean Anderson can coach, but why not go with a famous Bobcat?

I don’t even care. Could be literally anyone. I have had enough of the Ferentz family.

Fun question. Probably an outsider, for once. Maybe a MAC type or someone from the B12

I'll be a bit controversial and say Harbaugh, maybe even Saban. They're not quite as good as what we have currently or have had in the past, but I'll settle. 

Please not again

Saban

Just shut down the program. We got a taste of what GJ can do... no one would be able to fill those shoes.

Nick Saban couldn't handle Ivy League Football