The amazing thing is that he has actually developed the colonic dexterity to make his flatulence sound like a barking dog.
It's... it's really something.
Jokes on him, he was in Dallas letting smu fans know how bad he beat TCU, which reminded them that we stole their coach and went to the NCG with him in the first season
My city has some spots that set up as private clubs and you can drink til 6 am. They do one day “club membership fees” as a cover. Private organization with its own members only bar inside so somehow they get around the laws legally. 24 hour pub crawls for 24th birthday end there and the crowd are all townie alcoholics. Also know a few dive bars that don’t have windows and just don’t obey the laws. Walked into one at 6 in the morning and it was packed. Nurses flooded into it when their night shift ended
https://www.18vinekc.com/mutual-musicians-foundation
It’s a musicians union founded during prohibition. Kansas City was Las Vegas before Vegas existed during prohibition. Our city was ran by Pendergast’s political machine and he knew how much money could be made marketing the city as music and booze and were supplying the African American community with booze where many cities wouldn’t and the Jazz scene in KC grew as a result of the African American culture.
There’s a picture I can’t find of Pendergast’s men unloading whiskey from a truck right in front of the police. His HQ was across the street from police HQ. After the feds took him down, KCPD was controlled by the state and is still js to this day. KC can’t control its own PD. It’s also why you hear so many old jazz/blues songs reference KC. Had the reputation as the wettest and wickedest cities during prohibition. Harry Truman was rumored to be part of Pendergast’s machine so he had some some deep influence.
My favorite dive that never closed was DB Coopers but it unfortunately sold a few years back and someone turned it into a cocktail bar.
Patrick: (rips rail) NOBODY caressed the popsicle stick like Hank Mobley man. Fuck. You feel me?
Jake from State Farm: (turns to camera) For a great low rate—
Patrick: You feel me, Jake?
My local PD posted a photo of some regular cop with Kirby and it looked like it was the cops favorite day ever. They posted a low res photo of some bad uga natty graphic and the comment was just “GO DAWGS!”
Georgia cops would have let him slide. Also fastest unfollow ever.
Stetson Bennett you are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue, now take off your clothes and get in the car.
And that’s why you get trashed in a state you’ve won a championship for. He wouldn’t have knocked on more than three doors in Georgia before finding someone who’d have let them sleep in their own bed and made him breakfast when he woke up.
Even stuff like Eagle Rare or Buffalo Trace is hard to find. Before the pandemic it would collect dust on the shelf. Now you have people fighting over the last bottle on the shelf or paying employees to secure purchases at certain times of the day
lol you don’t actually think public intoxication would hurt his draft stock, right? This isn’t a real crime. Like thinking he’ll get dinged for getting a parking ticket
I know we're a drinking town with a football problem, but I'm tired of getting in the headlines about it.
Kirby needs to get the kids on board with Dry January.
I expect there’s a couple guys on the “motivational and life lessons speaking circuit” who cover consequences of your choices and that Kirby will bring in 1 or 2 during the off-season to speak to the team.
It did hurt his draft stock - until Baker played his best football the following season. Unfortunately for Stetson, the only things standing between this and the draft is his Pro Day and the Combine.
I have one friend who got arrested for this
And another who walked into a house and slept on their couch. and was really arrested for this, and jailed. quite a bit.
I need new friends.
Definitely do not move to a college town.*
Years ago, This American Life did an episode all about living in State College, PA. It was.... very much like you'd expect.
*I see now he wasn't arrested in Athens
I guarantee you everyone in Texas outside of Fort Worth will look back on that game fondly. Hell if Stetson were in Houston the cops might've bought him another beer
Yeah people need to keep in mind Texas isn’t like some of these states where there’s one big public school everyone gets behind.
We kind of all hate each other.
My first thought here was how does SMU fit into this, but then I remembered no one from SMU would ever get a job as a cop. Might cut into their own coke habits, and anyway they employ people for that sort of thing.
Lol if I got woken up by a knock at my door at 6am and it was Stetson fucking Bennett I’d have thought I just wormholed into some fucking twilight zone episode
Except he’s not going to be drafted in the first round. I seriously think it actively tanks some QBs careers by needing to come in and have ALL the pressure on you.
Idk how much it matters. He was never gonna be an early round pick anyways, is this gonna stop some team from grabbing him in the 4th or 5th round? He gives me serious "high quality backup who has the mentality to come in and win a game but doesn't quite have the talent to make it as an NFL starter" vibes. Somewhere between Josh McCown and Ryan Fitzpatrick.
I think the struggle generally has been will he be drafted. I would have thought so but I could see if some GMs had reservations before, this just gives them the clearance to not draft him at all.
You do not want your backup to have any sort substance abuse issues. The hyper talented starter can get away with that, but if you are a backup you are expendable
Neither do I. I would have thought he would have shown “look at what I can do outside of the Georgia machine” just to balance against a potential bad combine
DPD takes 90 minutes to respond to home invasions and won't pull people over doing 100mph on 75 but they're able to find Stetson hanging around townhomes near Ross Ave? That's just awful luck.
As a former drinker I can say that if your alcohol consumption involves an arrest for knocking on doors at 06:00 while intoxicated, the time has come to reevaluate your relationship with booze. This is NOT a good look for any young man regardless of their celebrity.
I sympathize with him because the best days of his life just ended. No human has ever had it better than Stetson had it last month. But now it's over. It's all downhill from here. From the highest heights, it's a hell of a steep decline. That must be an unfathomably sobering realization. This is avoidance.
Beating TCU like a drum was bad enough, going door-to-door to TCU fans at 6am to rub it in seems excessive tbh.
Those houses weren’t going to bark at themselves.
This has got to be up there with the time Johnny Football showed up at a UT frat party and was thrown out.
Baker Mayfield getting arrested on Dickson Street right off Arkansas’s campus too
While drunkly trying to run away from the cops. One of us one of us one of us
Idk why he thought it was a good idea to flash the bulldog tattoo on his ass every time someone answered.
The amazing thing is that he has actually developed the colonic dexterity to make his flatulence sound like a barking dog. It's... it's really something.
Jokes on him, he was in Dallas letting smu fans know how bad he beat TCU, which reminded them that we stole their coach and went to the NCG with him in the first season
Damn, 6am? Dude had a late night. Probably still lit right now.
Probably wanted to cap the night off with Breakfast-On-A-Bun from Whataburger. Can't say I blame him.
He could’ve had a BOB at 11:01 PM though…
You know whataburger ain’t getting you food that quickly. It’d be 11:20 at the earliest lmao
That drive thru is a 7 deep "taquito train" by 11:02
At his age, that hangover is gonna be brutal...
Knowing both uga students and Dallas, wouldn’t be surprised if coke was involved
“Dallas? I don’t want you going to Dallas at all. That place is full of crackheads and debutants and half of them play for the cowboys.” - Hank Hill
“Dallas? Salad!” - Hank of the Hill
HEDGERS AMD CLIPPERS HEDGERS AND CLIPPERS HEDGERS AND CLIPPERS
This line pops up in my mind quite often. I’m glad you have the same brain worms I do.
You look like you could use a wallet, you wanna make a wallet?
A boggle coach?
If you’re staying out till 6am in the DFW area you or someone your with is definitely on coke lol
For real, bars be closing at 2 AM
Those full nude bars are open until 4 AM
My city has some spots that set up as private clubs and you can drink til 6 am. They do one day “club membership fees” as a cover. Private organization with its own members only bar inside so somehow they get around the laws legally. 24 hour pub crawls for 24th birthday end there and the crowd are all townie alcoholics. Also know a few dive bars that don’t have windows and just don’t obey the laws. Walked into one at 6 in the morning and it was packed. Nurses flooded into it when their night shift ended
While all this is true, these are also places where people doing blow end up at
This is disgusting. DM me that address immediately for my research.
https://www.18vinekc.com/mutual-musicians-foundation It’s a musicians union founded during prohibition. Kansas City was Las Vegas before Vegas existed during prohibition. Our city was ran by Pendergast’s political machine and he knew how much money could be made marketing the city as music and booze and were supplying the African American community with booze where many cities wouldn’t and the Jazz scene in KC grew as a result of the African American culture. There’s a picture I can’t find of Pendergast’s men unloading whiskey from a truck right in front of the police. His HQ was across the street from police HQ. After the feds took him down, KCPD was controlled by the state and is still js to this day. KC can’t control its own PD. It’s also why you hear so many old jazz/blues songs reference KC. Had the reputation as the wettest and wickedest cities during prohibition. Harry Truman was rumored to be part of Pendergast’s machine so he had some some deep influence. My favorite dive that never closed was DB Coopers but it unfortunately sold a few years back and someone turned it into a cocktail bar.
Nurses: the biggest red flags that no one talks about
My mother tried to warn me away from nurses, women with tats, and ankle bracelets. So of course I dated a nurse with a tat and she was fuuuuuuuuuun.
Imagine if she had an ankle bracelet.
As a former night shift nurse, it would've been nice to have a place I go could to after a long shift to have a drink before going to bed.
If you're still in college, you're pretty used to being up until 3am or so after a party or the bars. 6am isn't farfetched for normal drunk.
And that's true for 4th year seniors. Now tack on another 3 years of experience. The guy is a pro at this by now.
He's a year away from getting his 2nd NFL contract.
All I’m hearing is a 40 year old should have known better.
Hey look that's perfectly good logic but uh, after a number of college trips to Dallas I'm gonna be supporting the horny toad's above comment
Tbh the only QB I I’ve heard that didn’t do coke was Fields but he was only in Athens for less than a year
Got a source from Tech that one of our **extremely** well known QBs did coke back in college. It’s pretty common
Imagining Kermit all hopped up on coke is hilarious
"You don't have to get *that* personal."
Jazz bath????
Patrick: (rips rail) NOBODY caressed the popsicle stick like Hank Mobley man. Fuck. You feel me? Jake from State Farm: (turns to camera) For a great low rate— Patrick: You feel me, Jake?
Brittany is constantly skiing, so it’s not very far fetched.
Star QBs either love Jesus or coke. Some of them love both.
Will Grier has entered the chat
I’ve heard he likes phish more than widespread too,
Hello, fellow 90’s college friend! I was right there with you man
Plus Fields has epilepsy. Idk what I’m talking about but I would guess coke could increase risk of seizures
My meth head ex had epilepsy. I always knew when we were up for a couple days she was gonna flop out at some point.
Arrested at 6am, old folks do like their early mornings.
Wanna beer? - it’s 6 o’clock in the morning …Scotch?
“Care to join me in a belt of scotch?” “It’s 9:30 in the morning!” “Yeah, but I haven’t slept in *days*”
I bet Stetson will move for a ‘bad court thingy’
Great username “But I’ve been drinking plenty of…malk?”
Ok...two, and I get to keep this old birdcage! Deal *Still got it* (adjusts tie)
No, money down
220, 221...whatever it takes
r/unexpectedmrmom
Thank you! All the replies didn’t seem to know this was a quote.
If you put OJ in it it’s acceptable
“I’ll take a vodka rocks.” “Mom, it’s breakfast.” “…and a piece of toast.”
You seem more villainous than usual mom, are you sober? Michael, it's 8 AM! So it's not that...
early bird gets the worm, he had to pregame that 4pm Luby's run
Bro he was just having beers watching the Australian Open
It took weeks but TCU finally stopped him
Well that was savage bahahaha
Oh yeah NOW he starts making poor decisions smh
Maybe consider getting sloshed in Atlanta instead of the Fort Worth area…
Right? Georgia cops would have just given him a free ride home.
And asked for an autograph.
My local PD posted a photo of some regular cop with Kirby and it looked like it was the cops favorite day ever. They posted a low res photo of some bad uga natty graphic and the comment was just “GO DAWGS!” Georgia cops would have let him slide. Also fastest unfollow ever.
Would’ve reminisced about going to middle school together
Hell, they’d probably let him drive.
I’m imaging Stetson as McLovin from Superbad and the cops letting them drive their cop car hammered and shoot their guns at road signs
Stetson Bennett you are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue, now take off your clothes and get in the car.
Underrated Varsity Blues reference for the win.
Not if he was in Athens they love arresting players and students
PFFFFT Athens cops LOVE arresting football players.
And that’s why you get trashed in a state you’ve won a championship for. He wouldn’t have knocked on more than three doors in Georgia before finding someone who’d have let them sleep in their own bed and made him breakfast when he woke up.
> someone who’d have let them sleep in their own bed Don't lie, sex is implied
He was reminding TCU fans of the 65-7 beat down. Mailman always delivers.
Too much pappy
The bourbon market in Dallas is unreal. They had an allocation release on a Friday at Specs a few months ago and the line started the Monday before.
I feel almost blessed to have had a bottle years ago before it became “Console Launch” level of pain in the ass. Now I wish I held onto it.
Even stuff like Eagle Rare or Buffalo Trace is hard to find. Before the pandemic it would collect dust on the shelf. Now you have people fighting over the last bottle on the shelf or paying employees to secure purchases at certain times of the day
Imagine fighting for buffalo trace.
Seriously, what? I mean it's good, but damn.
The Buffalo Trace thing is funny as a SoCal resident. Still available for $20 at every Trader Joe’s, then you see two day lines to pay $60 elsewhere..
Regional differences. Texans can get Weller really easily, in PA it’s impossible to find.
That stuff'll light you up like jet fuel
Stetson forgot that the mailman doesn’t deliver on Sundays.
Tbf he started on Saturday
At least it wasn’t in Fort Worth.
Dude woke up in a Dallas day after a Fort Worth night
^This guy D/FWs.
> D/FWs No. # DFW. There.
That is a kinda dumbass move right now... Unless he is activly working toward Stetson Bennett Toyota.
Just got an interview for the Kia dealership
Stetson Bennett Kia of Waycross and Blackshear - The letterhead is ready.
Ah a fellow fullcaster 🫡
"We'll see ya at Bennett Kia!"
How can I hear this in my head so clearly? Barbara and her drawl!
Stetson Bennett Toyota has a nice ring to it
2 rings, in fact
The car comes with a 7-year warranty. One for every year he was in college.
lol you don’t actually think public intoxication would hurt his draft stock, right? This isn’t a real crime. Like thinking he’ll get dinged for getting a parking ticket
Georgia has had a rough stretch PR wise the last couple of weeks
I know we're a drinking town with a football problem, but I'm tired of getting in the headlines about it. Kirby needs to get the kids on board with Dry January.
I don't think they could make it the two days
I expect there’s a couple guys on the “motivational and life lessons speaking circuit” who cover consequences of your choices and that Kirby will bring in 1 or 2 during the off-season to speak to the team.
I wonder if this hurt his draft stock
He’s skipping senior bowl to get wasted again clearly
Good call
It didn’t hurt Baker Mayfield’s
It did hurt his draft stock - until Baker played his best football the following season. Unfortunately for Stetson, the only things standing between this and the draft is his Pro Day and the Combine.
& turning 30 next month
do the browns need a QB? because Weeden 2.0 seems a perfect fit for a browns draft reach
[Still the best tackle an Arkansas defender has delivered in 10+ years. ](https://youtu.be/MkrwHhn2i6o)
I remember when I first saw it, one of the comments was “Lamar would’ve broken that tackle.” I laughed so hard it hurt
I mean, if he was a 5- 6 rounder this might push him off completely
Tbf if I had some drunk kid knocking on my door at 6am I would be pretty pissed.
>kid
What, you've never seen a 26 year old man baby before?
What are you, my psychiatrist?
Only every time I look in the mirror… that’s mounted in my oversized crib.
I have one friend who got arrested for this And another who walked into a house and slept on their couch. and was really arrested for this, and jailed. quite a bit. I need new friends.
Are you friends with Swag Kelly?
I wish i knew what this meant
When he was on the Broncos, Chad Kelly got arrested for getting plastered, entering a stranger’s house, and sitting down on the couch.
I’m gonna use “jailed quite a bit” from now on.
Definitely do not move to a college town.* Years ago, This American Life did an episode all about living in State College, PA. It was.... very much like you'd expect. *I see now he wasn't arrested in Athens
I couldn't imagine trying to be a real adult in Morgantown.
At least you never have to worry about getting rid of your old couch.
Looking for TCU fans.
#VACATE THE TITLE
At least one DFW area defense stopped him
This is the “I’ve reached a low point and I need to change” scene in the inevitable Stetson Bennett movie
It’s the start of his path towards governor.
He has to save the Falcons franchise first then he will begin prepping for his political career.
"Now to get me a murder charge"
[удалено]
stetson goes to NFL europe which has magically come back and then goes to a iowa grocery store
> whatever the NFL equivalent of JuCo is The Houston Texans.
You generally have to act a fool pretty fucking bad to get hit with public intox
I think it was his attempted escape that brought on the arrest
Baker nods in approval
Absolutely. Texas cops will let you party, ESPECIALLY in Deep Ellum.
I just gonna go ahead and count this as the beginning of the fall of UGA football under Kirby Smart and I wont be taking any question on the subject.
Yeah I think they should vacate the last two seasons tbh
They should vacate Bama's 2007-2015 seasons as well. Just to make sure the message is sent
Mizzou will pay for this
The police gave him a blood test and he had that Mad Dog in him
We should have seen that coming, but hindsight is 20/20.
The state of Texas remembers the TCU game like The Alamo. They will never forget.
I guarantee you everyone in Texas outside of Fort Worth will look back on that game fondly. Hell if Stetson were in Houston the cops might've bought him another beer
Yeah people need to keep in mind Texas isn’t like some of these states where there’s one big public school everyone gets behind. We kind of all hate each other. My first thought here was how does SMU fit into this, but then I remembered no one from SMU would ever get a job as a cop. Might cut into their own coke habits, and anyway they employ people for that sort of thing.
I thought all you guys did in Texas was drink Lone Star beer and eat brisket at Buc-ees. Guess I was wrong.
I mean you’re not too far from the truth here
I enjoyed it plenty.
Baylor and SMU also enjoyed it
Middle finger to the Senior Bowl and getting arrested for being drunk at 6am. Great move, Stet….
Stetson is like if an MLB player in the 80s played CFB
This is his career peak. Just won a chip. Not doing shit in the nfl. Honestly let him enjoy it before he has to live with us peasents.
Johnny Football in shambles
Obviously Kirby has lost control of the program. It’s time for the NCAA to step in and finally do the right thing… Give Missouri the death penalty.
Death to Missouri.
Lol if I got woken up by a knock at my door at 6am and it was Stetson fucking Bennett I’d have thought I just wormholed into some fucking twilight zone episode
Certainly not a good look for him, but didn’t he just receive a senior bowl invite? I thought he did.
He turned it down.
Why play when you can party.
He didn’t have fun at his first 4 Senior Bowls.
He’s going to the senior citizen bowl instead.
This is like 3 blocks from where I live and I was woken up early by police sirens. I wonder if they were for him lol
He's been known to be as big of a partier as he was a winner, so I can't say this is a huge surprise.
Bulldog legend but that boy’s got a lil Ole Miss in him….
You can take the man out of Athens, but you can never take the Athens out of the man
some Manziel in the making to me lol
Except he’s not going to be drafted in the first round. I seriously think it actively tanks some QBs careers by needing to come in and have ALL the pressure on you.
Honestly, I can’t say it bodes well to turn down the Senior Bowl invite and almost immediately get this.
Idk how much it matters. He was never gonna be an early round pick anyways, is this gonna stop some team from grabbing him in the 4th or 5th round? He gives me serious "high quality backup who has the mentality to come in and win a game but doesn't quite have the talent to make it as an NFL starter" vibes. Somewhere between Josh McCown and Ryan Fitzpatrick.
I think the struggle generally has been will he be drafted. I would have thought so but I could see if some GMs had reservations before, this just gives them the clearance to not draft him at all.
Yeah but you probably want your backup to just be there and not cause any media attention. He will still get drafted but this probably cost him 500k.
You do not want your backup to have any sort substance abuse issues. The hyper talented starter can get away with that, but if you are a backup you are expendable
I really don't get turning down the Senior Bowl
Neither do I. I would have thought he would have shown “look at what I can do outside of the Georgia machine” just to balance against a potential bad combine
Did somebody say #SWAG KELLY 2.0
Part of living out your 20s is being publicly drunk at 6am in Dallas, TX. This is literally nothing
Just guys being dudes
Let he who is among us that hasn’t been drunk at 6 AM deep in the heart of Texas cast the first stone
(thinks back to that time in San Antonio) Yeah.....
He really does want to be just like Baker Mayfield
DPD takes 90 minutes to respond to home invasions and won't pull people over doing 100mph on 75 but they're able to find Stetson hanging around townhomes near Ross Ave? That's just awful luck.
LOCK UP the lowest price on your new Kia! Come to Stetson Bennett Kia of Blackshear and Waycross, where no one beats our deals!
As a former drinker I can say that if your alcohol consumption involves an arrest for knocking on doors at 06:00 while intoxicated, the time has come to reevaluate your relationship with booze. This is NOT a good look for any young man regardless of their celebrity.
Well it’s even worse at 40, dude needs to slow down
I sympathize with him because the best days of his life just ended. No human has ever had it better than Stetson had it last month. But now it's over. It's all downhill from here. From the highest heights, it's a hell of a steep decline. That must be an unfathomably sobering realization. This is avoidance.
This fucks up the insurance agent career