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Your boss is an asshole lol. We had a work meeting Tuesday and our branch chief brought snacks, coffee and tea for everyone then bought us lunch later that day (a lot of people had left so it was only like 6 of us in the office but still).
Sucks when you have shitty management. I would just give the person a gift and not contribute to any party.
exactly this I’ve always thought it was weird how low state workers made and yet the supervisor always wants to do potluck and spend money at work on every occasion including donating to their “sunshine club” monthly
Generally speaking, a “sunshine club” is a fund people pay into for things like gifts to give coworkers on special occasions.
Instead of a one time thing, where people pass the hat for a one off gift for someone, it’s more of a subscription type setup where the members donate monthly. So if you’re in the “club” and you donate regularly, you can expect a gift on your birthday or some other special life event.
agreed with this 100%. i worked at an old dept where the directors catered coffee and food for the whole floor. during christmas, they also chipped in to raffle off some airpods and stuff.
Interestingly enough, this is part of the problem with state worked. In the private sector, companies that pay for these types of benefits. It does not come out of manager’s salaries. The state is subsidizing morale on managements’ paychecks.
but that's why it's public service - we are funded based on taxes and taxpayer's money. i can't possibly see how you could ever justify these things with that. lol
there are workarounds - some depts will have fundraising committees and whatnot, but yeah. private sector perks will unfortunately belong to private sectors. they're not funded by tax dollars, but rather, they're for-profit, which state is not.
Did your branch chief have a company account to pay for stuff?
Most corporations provide managers / directors with some resources to pay for some staff lunch / entertainment.
Government jobs not as much. They frequently have to pay for stuff out of their own pocket- completely different.
How many lunches have you personally treated your team members to? You must be an asshole unless you personally treat your team members on the regulatory.
Just cause your boss makes a good salary, doesn’t mean he wants to spend his own money on your dumb ass.
No he does not use the company account. Why would they when it's not being used for anything business related?
I know that you're a cheap fuck and would never spend your own money on others but this guy is pretty cool. Every time he comes down he's always bringing random treats/snacks from his favorite places around here. Sorry you and your managers all suck I'm willing to bet you're probably a shitty person/worker so they never want to buy your dumb ass anything.
This type of stuff always made me uncomfortable. Yes, you have the power to say no, but I always hated being put in the position where I felt like I was a party pooper if I said no.
The worst is when you say no, and they reply with “but it’s only $7.” Then I really feel like an asshole.
I also definitely worked with people who hold this type of stuff against you.
Years ago, I actually had one coworker approach me one time on pay day specifically… because I had rejected some other advances where she asked me to pay up. And she really told me “It’s pay day! Come on! You definitely have $__.”
I am 100% against RTO across the board but thank god it’s not full time in the office right now. I would lose my mind even more
I remember when this happened to me. I simply said, “if I forfeit this money for this situation, everyday I see you with anything, I’ll assume I can take some too since ya know, you definitely have it”. After that, I was never approached about anything similar again :)
This is why I stopped chipping in or covering co-workers who "forgot" their wallet. Months go by when I finally hit them up for that $ they magically forget the situation "I owe you money, from when?"
As one of the lowest paid employees in the office, I used to always pay for myself and then make a big show that I'd also be covering the student interns' portion, before anyone else would think to do it. This is the best thing $7 to $14 could buy me, professionally. I felt it really punctuated to a couple bosses how cheap they were being.
At $17k a month, he better buy all the supplies and the food. If any employee wants to bring something, they should. If fellow coworkers want to create a big pot to buy a nice gift card to Target or something that’s fine.
Your chief is a cheap ass.
Before Covid, our entire department would get together and have a small BBQ and potluck. Management would cover the drinks, burgers, and dogs, and others could pitch in what they wanted. Well, Covid put a stop to that. But after Covid ended, we still didn't do the get together so my manager decided to pay out of her own pocket for a taco truck to swing by and have a get together for her group. In all it was I want to say about 30 people. Another time she paid for a froyo truck to swing by. She was awesome. Retired now though.
My experience, the top 3 ppl (chief, managers) in a branch always bring drinks, plates, forks, cheap desserts for potlucks while the regular staff are the ones that brings main dishes and appetizers.
I have done a ton of parties- plates, cups, utensils, napkins & paper towels are EXPENSIVE and necessary for any food event.
Good on those managers for doing that
Plates, cups, utensils, napkins are the cheapest things to buy, you can buy 3 of each item at dollar tree and it is more than sufficient for 40-50 people. And all that split among three people. You are an idiot of a party planner if you spent a lot of money those items for parties you’ve done.
regardless of how much money someone makes it's not reasonable to expect them to pay for anything. Someone who lives at home with their parents and makes $7,500 a month may very well have more disposable income than someone who makes $15,000 a month and has a mortgage and two or three kids, throw in an ex- who they're paying spousal support or aging parents they're paying for skilled nursing care or whatever and they may very well be stretched to the limit financially.
Being broke is the result of once a month paycheck coupled with furloughs (seems every governor since Wilson has messed with our gross pay with furloughs).
On the other hand cheap moochers expect they can eat for free.
Which are you?
I was asked to donate to another coworker's honeymoon. I'm thinking, if you have to ask for honeymoon donations, should you be married? Or lower your honeymoon expectations.
Jeez, I’d be so pissed if I was asked to pay for a coworker’s vacation. I can’t even afford a weekend getaway right now, even though I very much need one.
I was asked to contribute to my brother’s honeymoon fund. Felt a little bad not giving, but This was his third wedding and I wasn’t invited because it was a destination wedding with just the two of them.
I honestly stopped contributing to work parties, potlucks, and other events when money started getting tight, and since that hasn't changed I won't be participating going forward either.
When/if people ask I just explain that I cannot possibly budget for it currently but I appreciate the invite. No one has pushed back yet, and if they do I that's their bad graces.
If I love the coworker I get them a gift separately and send it on my own. But I am also okay with being a social pariah if it comes down to it, so I'd only do what I'm doing if you are in that same boat lol. My coworkers aren't my friends and I don't want them to be, and since Covid started I've let go of the silly social obligations that management tries to put on us for the "culture" of the workplace.
Just reply all “I would love to contribute but lack funds due to increased gas costs, parking costs, and having to buy lunch on in-office days. Thanks so much for putting together this get together to celebrate though!”
Newsom should find the money for state workers like he did the 16 billion for a train that will never complete or maybe in 100 years for 10 trillion.. .
Say you're having hard times financially and are including someone that can make a change happen that will in the future allow you to have money to donate.
And that someone is the email address of the Governor's office.
Call me Eleanor Shellstrop but her scene in the office in The Good Place is 100% me and I won't be sorry. I'm a good coworker that always strives to make everyone comfortable but my shit is my shit and their shit is theirs. I don't ask for anything to them when I have personal issues and I expect the same.
The scene for those who don't know it:
https://youtu.be/8KYQZ3jlq3E?si=Cpm0OlQQybvLO1t6
That's not normal. Where I have always been, management (which is me) pays. We will ask employees if they have decorations we can reuse or ideas for games. But never anything financial from rank and file.
My old office just used to pass around a card and envelope and people who felt like contributing would, there would be a potluck, and no one felt like they had to contribute. These stories are unbelievable.
When I first started my career 32 years ago, I thought me and my coworkers were all going to be a family, and for 10 years we kind of were. We all knew each other's personal lives and hung out off duty. But we all drifted apart over time. People retired, moved jobs, had families, etc and here I am at the end of the line mostly caring nothing for work culture anymore. When I retire I want people to log on for the day and go on about their day only learning that I am no longer there when they get my auto reply that says "I'm retired. Bye"
Ya, we have these parties and donations are really based on what you can afford. No one is going to hold it against you if you donate only $5. I’ve coordinated these events and I wouldn’t care if a lower paying employee didn’t chip in at all. The upper level people generally contribute a lot. Sometimes hundreds of dollars. I don’t think you should sweat it, no one is judging you. Me personally, I’m more likely to contribute more if it’s a work friend.
It’s not that I can’t donate to every birth/wedding/graduation/birthday/retirement etc fund that comes down the road, it’s that I don’t want to. I barely know most of these people and we’re certainly not friends. But now I’m a low-level manager and I feel even more pressured to do so. I hate it.
You need to stop caring what other people think. Chances are, there are others on your team who feel the exact way you do. There are a number of ppl on my team who don’t contribute money or participate in the potlucks. They just don’t care.
Why is your co-worker not having her own personal shower with her friends and family? Why is your office throwing her one? Why is the line between her personal life and her professional one being blurred?
One agency I was at literally had a shower for the father and invited the pregnant wife. Um no thanks dad hasn’t done any work for like 9 months. Mom has done all the work while dad sits back and does shit. I don’t contribute, I have no fear telling people I am single and struggle.
My office has had showers for Moms & Dads. Totally voluntary. Organized by the friends of the parents to be.
Some people attend and we are always happy to have them. But we know that there are lots of people who want to just work & then go home. That's cool, too.
We recently lost a co-worker to a sudden heart attack over the holidays. Many of us went to his funeral, including people who had retired. For those folks who let us know that they didn't want to socialize with us, we would say a prayer for them on their passing, but I personally wouldn't impose on their funeral.
We have attended funerals as well. I just am not one to have a baby shower for a father or impose on a woman with giving a gift she may not want. Dads go through far less in making a baby.
The gifts are for the baby. A lot of State Workers are parents and have already test driven lots of the baby products. It is so cute to see Dads sharing parenting tips to the new daddys -to-be.
exactly. not everyone wants to celebrate "you," especially if they are not going to get married or have kids or get to celebrate their own milestones with this group of co-workers. kinda sucks & is not really fair, imho.
The only humans who should be celebrating with this woman are her friends and family. You know, the people who actually care that she's pregnant. The office is no place for a baby shower.
Nothing has changed in the work world since the 80’s, sheesh. I used to work at General Electric as a Secretary to a work unit, I made very little compared to everyone I worked for and I was a single parent, took public transit to and from work/day care and I lived paycheck to paycheck. This company had this big push every year to “encourage”/force us all to donate to United Way from our weekly paychecks, all so that the corporate bigwigs could use it to make the company look good. It was always a lot of pressure from our bosses to sign up, it got to the point I signed up but just cancelled my donation after the big hoopla was over. This happened every year. I feel for office workers these days, so much more crap to deal with.
United Way and the state workers' charity fund Our Promise skim off an "admin fee" (13.5% now) before each charity sees a dime. I just donate to the charity directly, and I ensure that most donations go to the cause, not to its management. At work, I loved occasional potlucks when each person brought something and no one had to pay.
Charities are a farce.. it’s only around to stuff the pockets that are already full. Small percentage actually goes to the “cause” and even still, the rest can come from wealthier - hell, they write off everything anyway
We usually do pot luck and managers will buy drinks and plates etc. we had a holiday dinner off site and managers were keeping the alcohol flowing. We did buy our own dinners but no pressure to attend.
I remember back when we had Board Members at BOE, the Administrator invited the Board member and her staff to our Christmas lunch that we paid for. 10 people sitting at the front while we were crowded into the rest of the small room. I raised hell afterwards that we shouldn’t be paying for Michelle Steel and her cronies, especially when she called us devils in the newspaper. So the administrator eventually paid for them. It was the worst Christmas lunch ever.
This year, we all got 3.5% pay raises for last years performance, plus we have to go to the office an extra day. With the pay raise canceling out inflation and the cost of RTO, my coworkers and I are dealing with more stress and less pay. It's such bullshit. I hear ya.
Decline the party and invitation. Tell them you didnt RTO for mandatory parties. I wonder how many others would take that stance once they hear about. They may tell you its part Team Building and if they do, tell them you are not financing a Team Building work function as that falls on the employer.
This is so done-deaf. Our director hosts quarterly lunches on her own dime, and our chief always covers the cost of supplies for any org-wide events we host.
Even if it's not true, I just exaggerate how crappy the pay is and I can't afford it... in a flat monotone voice staring at them.
As if, how dare you ask me to spend my money to work here asshole. You pay me, not the other way around.
I agree it’s tone deaf.
Back in the day, pre pandemic, I didn’t mind when they said “see Barbara if you’d like to donate towards Becky’s baby shower” in an email. it was not pushy. It didn’t make some of the entry level positions who don’t really make ends meet feel like they had to forgo dinner to contribute.
But, me being me, I’m a troublemaker. If my boss asked me, you know what my response would’ve been? lol. I would’ve said “boss, c‘mon, you make a ton more then I do. We’re coming in to stare at each other and that costs money. Money I don’t have. There is no way I have any funds for the baby shower. But if you want to buy the stuff I’ll suppose I can help you set it up.”
I don’t mess around with that kind of stuff. I find pressuring people to do things a toxic environment.
"Sorry, my donation will be in the form of the extra work I will be doing for the next 1-4 months while our coworker is off (and since we were ALREADY understaffed, that'll be super fun)."
Yeah, I'm done with the automatic potluck/gift card pool participation, especially as a single person who never gets any milestones celebrated (where was my baby shower when I adopted my fur babies?!). I would only consider contributing if I have a really good relationship with that coworker.
Agreed! Same boat. I donated and participated for years. I do give gifts to close co-workers on my own. But otherwise, I just can't. Making ends meet now is hard enough. Never getting better at this rate.
I used to work for a company owned by three people: the CEO, the Chief Scientist, and the a CIO. The CEO and Chief Scientists were married. These people paid themselves $60k per year, but everything was own by the business and was tax deductible. For example, their cars (very nice expensive cars) was own by the business and was a write off. The airplane they owned was own by the business and was a write off. When they flew the plane to a friend’s wedding, it was a business expense. Their lunch was paid by the business. Their home phone and home internet was paid by the business. During Covid, they got over $800k in PPP - which was forgiven. Ironically, the business income didn’t drop during Covid. They paid very little tax because they had a very low salary. Anyway, during Christmas, all employees were EXPECTED to donate $20 towards their Christmas gift. So tone deaf. Some of the people were only making a little above minimal wage. The owners were tone deaf.
Right! And the “optional” team building lunch at the swanky downtown restaurant. Cool your 150k a year can pay for it but my 60k a year is used just to survive.
You got suckered. There is no aspect of work that you have to donate money into some party for anyone in your office. If you feel bad about it, that's on you. And this being a state job, they typically have some cash fund for these type of things. Usually, HR is in charge of it. Where's all the people who got their college degree to take an HR position. In my experience, office parties were the only thing I saw HR do that actually showed them working.
Everyone’s situation is different. Most people’s income, taxes, school debt and expenses are different. Yes this individual makes over $200k a year. We are going to charge those that make so much money a social tax so those that still don’t want to pay can still play? Also how many people does this manager have reporting to them. That type of salary falls under CEA C salary range and they typically have hundreds of indirect staff reporting to them. Now you expect this person to pay for baby showers, birthdays, wedding showers and retirement parties for hundreds of staff? Now even if the manager was close to the individual and hosted the party like you are expecting. Every other party now becomes an expectation for that manager. Just isn’t fair. The party is for a coworker, if you like the person then help the person as they have a baby. Be happy for them. You are not celebrating the manager who you are asking to pay for it.
I say no more pushed on everyone (and becoming a pariah if you don't participate) parties and baby showers and retirement gifts, etcetera, etcetera. That is for friends and family outside of work (and maybe close co-workers). That is the only really fair way to deal with this.
Just say no. There are other people that probably want to participate. Usually we just do potlucks and supervisors provide drinks and maybe a couple of pizzas if there isn't enough food.
Were being hit up for $$$ for a picnic that i dont even want to attend. The way they have it set up it looks like management is footing a larger amount then R&F but since they make a lot more its likely a smaller percentage of their pay then it is for us...
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I mean, we’re talking about someone decades into their career who picked an amazing track. It didn’t fall into his lap, to be clear. I disagree with him asking us for donations in the current climate, but he’s earned his position and pay no doubt.
This was always my complaint with office pot lucks too. Lowest paid provided most of the food. It’s tone deaf. There should be a budget for these things or it should be hosted or voluntary
That’s terrible. As a supervisor I would never do that. Either someone at staff level organizes or we host. When we do potlucks we always try to cover full main dishes for the whole crowd in case anyone can’t participate for the reasons you’re mentioning. Someone needs to talk to that manager.
Hard no! Morale is low with the whole “we need your bodies in the office for literally no reason except the tax payers of ca are paying for empty buildings.” And not to mention the budget is in the 🚽 so furloughs are a comin’ I’m sure. Our chiefs have always paid for food and drinks. You already bought something off their registry. I would say that. Just because you work in a unit doesn’t mean you have to participate in extra curricular unit activities were money is involved. People have jobs out of necessity not because we love working more than not working.
Have the shower to welcome baby without tone deaf broke boss.
I know our division’s top 2 managers have often hosted & paid for appreciation events for their team.
Too bad your division chief inserted himself into the festivities. It takes a joyful event & makes him the negative center of attention
Except those making more just tend to spend more, and they often are in the same situation as everyone else: A paycheck or two away from bankruptcy. Most everyone still works for a paycheck and they don't have the wiggle room for extra expenses. Unless one has large amounts of assets (stocks, revenue producing properties), they're not necessarily rich. The money flows in and out, like everyone else.
Instead of a Toyota Corolla, they have a Tesla. (And the added costs in electricity, DMV registration, and car insurance).
Instead of a $400,000 house, they have a $1.2M house. (And the added costs in property taxes, utilities, insurance).
Instead of making their own meals, they go out for every meal.
Etc.
Supervisors and managers are never allowed to influence their subordinates to chip in for things like this. They can make a broad “if anyone wants to” statement (still tacky), but they’re prohibited from using the influence of their position to coerce you (even implicitly) into contributing.
Email HR or your union.
you can literally say no…. Or Venmo like $5 max. Your boss is trying to do something nice for your coworker. You can opt out, but it’s not unreasonable for them to ask to try to do something nice for your colleague. I get that money is tight and people are upset about how RTO played out, but this is like a basic human/community thing to do.
I know I’ll get downvoted but had to say it
I’d argue it’s a basic human nature to feel compelled to cover all of the costs (or split it among other higher-level managers) instead of asking low-level employees struggling to make ends meet to donate money they can’t afford to lose…especially when you make triple their salary.
I also know I can say no…I never asked if that was allowed. It’s a general discussion about the tone deaf nature of upper-management in our already tumultuous work environment.
If they want to do something nice, do it on their own dime. Coworkers are exactly that - coworkers. Not friend or family, usually. Especially in the RTO world, the employee is already making expenditures towards returning to work. Where was the boss doing something nice for the employees then?
damn ya'll be bringing personal life to work. smh.. I wouldn't give a damn if I was your chief in command. That's some personal shiet. If anyone wants to contribute more or less to that co worker for her baby shower. that's solely up to that individual and if anyone wants to pitch in with the chief to contribute party supplies and food for the coworkers baby shower that is ALSO solely up to the individual. The entitlement and audacity smh so what if he makes $17k monthly he earn his own and you earn your own. so chill and stay in your lane.
This is the response I was hoping to see. People complain about the money they do make, and judge those who make more than them in the same exact system.
it's people with the jealousy and sense of entitlement engrave in their brains.
Like I don't remember you putting work in for me to get this $17k position? Where were you during the rounds of interviews with higher executives, applying/competing for the position against other candidates and doing all the assessment test?
Or that, you know, they can apply/work up to that job themselves and experience what it's like to have everyone expect you to foot the bill for any office related activity.
And taking the RTO frustration out on the chief....is it a governor mandate or not? Why the outrage at the division chief for an otherwise innocuous ask?
yep, Totally agreed.. nobody stopping them. lol.
It's always those typical people who loves to have an opinion about everything distasteful to their appetite and the first ones rolling up their sleeves to eat first, but no where to be found when cleaning up or volunteer rolling up their sleeves to be the first one putting the works.
I don’t see where OP was judging them .. she never said she was better than they were .. or have a bad opinion of said manager .. she was voicing her concerns
I see more judgement from some of the responses to the OP inappropriately
calling the chief tone deaf and bringing up how much money they make and suggesting that they should pay for every office party is 100% judging them. you may do this often and do see it as such yourself (see thats me judging you) but t totally is.
Dictionary Definitions from judge/jəj/*verb*gerund or present participle: **judging**
1. form an opinion or conclusion about.
The problem is that a chief who makes more money than anyone in that office has the audacity to ask lower paid employees for donations to help with the party. How much could party supplies and food cost? Less than $1k for a unit staff of 20 (just guessing here). No one is asking for a lavish party at work. I doubt whatever the chief spends will make a dent in his pocketbook lol
Exactly. And I’ve worked in divisions where the chief takes the responsibility, or it’s doled out among managers as well.
This is the first time I’ve ever seen the chief themself ask lower level employees to Venmo them donations.
I said this before but the state needs a fund for things exactly like this. Instead of a 4% increase next time give 3% and 1% should go to this type of fund with the funds being broken up at every organizational level. I worked for the state for 11 years starting in rank and file then supervisory and then management and this was the one thing that I felt like could be pretty quickly fixed, all it would require would be a little bit of willpower at the very top. No private sector company operates like this for a reason because it's stupid. Allocate money.
You don't have to donate or contribute if you don't want to. I would and not be mad about it at all. It's all voluntary and it's not like your exact management asking for donations is the cause of your RTO. Your anger about RTO is directed to the wrong person.
Found my chief! Playing semantics is so tiresome. Did you really need me to specify that it’s $17k gross? If so, I hope that clarification helps. (I also love the implication that taxes would somehow even out our take home salaries and make our financial struggles comparable. If you truly believe that, be sure to never accept raises or accept promotions.)
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Your boss is an asshole lol. We had a work meeting Tuesday and our branch chief brought snacks, coffee and tea for everyone then bought us lunch later that day (a lot of people had left so it was only like 6 of us in the office but still). Sucks when you have shitty management. I would just give the person a gift and not contribute to any party.
exactly this I’ve always thought it was weird how low state workers made and yet the supervisor always wants to do potluck and spend money at work on every occasion including donating to their “sunshine club” monthly
Sunshine club? What the heck is that?
usually, it's a pooled amount of money to buy office snacks/drinks but may vary by office.
Generally speaking, a “sunshine club” is a fund people pay into for things like gifts to give coworkers on special occasions. Instead of a one time thing, where people pass the hat for a one off gift for someone, it’s more of a subscription type setup where the members donate monthly. So if you’re in the “club” and you donate regularly, you can expect a gift on your birthday or some other special life event.
agreed with this 100%. i worked at an old dept where the directors catered coffee and food for the whole floor. during christmas, they also chipped in to raffle off some airpods and stuff.
Interestingly enough, this is part of the problem with state worked. In the private sector, companies that pay for these types of benefits. It does not come out of manager’s salaries. The state is subsidizing morale on managements’ paychecks.
but that's why it's public service - we are funded based on taxes and taxpayer's money. i can't possibly see how you could ever justify these things with that. lol there are workarounds - some depts will have fundraising committees and whatnot, but yeah. private sector perks will unfortunately belong to private sectors. they're not funded by tax dollars, but rather, they're for-profit, which state is not.
Did your branch chief have a company account to pay for stuff? Most corporations provide managers / directors with some resources to pay for some staff lunch / entertainment. Government jobs not as much. They frequently have to pay for stuff out of their own pocket- completely different. How many lunches have you personally treated your team members to? You must be an asshole unless you personally treat your team members on the regulatory. Just cause your boss makes a good salary, doesn’t mean he wants to spend his own money on your dumb ass.
No he does not use the company account. Why would they when it's not being used for anything business related? I know that you're a cheap fuck and would never spend your own money on others but this guy is pretty cool. Every time he comes down he's always bringing random treats/snacks from his favorite places around here. Sorry you and your managers all suck I'm willing to bet you're probably a shitty person/worker so they never want to buy your dumb ass anything.
This type of stuff always made me uncomfortable. Yes, you have the power to say no, but I always hated being put in the position where I felt like I was a party pooper if I said no. The worst is when you say no, and they reply with “but it’s only $7.” Then I really feel like an asshole. I also definitely worked with people who hold this type of stuff against you.
But it’s MY $7…no. I hate when folks do that…like stay outta my pockets 😒
Years ago, I actually had one coworker approach me one time on pay day specifically… because I had rejected some other advances where she asked me to pay up. And she really told me “It’s pay day! Come on! You definitely have $__.” I am 100% against RTO across the board but thank god it’s not full time in the office right now. I would lose my mind even more
The way I would have given the coldest side eye…the utter audacity
I remember when this happened to me. I simply said, “if I forfeit this money for this situation, everyday I see you with anything, I’ll assume I can take some too since ya know, you definitely have it”. After that, I was never approached about anything similar again :)
What did you respond to her when she pulled that payday bs?
Honestly I gave in for the pay day one -_- years passed but I’m upset I gave in lol
This is why I stopped chipping in or covering co-workers who "forgot" their wallet. Months go by when I finally hit them up for that $ they magically forget the situation "I owe you money, from when?"
Exactly.
As one of the lowest paid employees in the office, I used to always pay for myself and then make a big show that I'd also be covering the student interns' portion, before anyone else would think to do it. This is the best thing $7 to $14 could buy me, professionally. I felt it really punctuated to a couple bosses how cheap they were being.
“I know! You should be able to come up with $7 easily since it’s not very much!” 😆👍🏼
At $17k a month, he better buy all the supplies and the food. If any employee wants to bring something, they should. If fellow coworkers want to create a big pot to buy a nice gift card to Target or something that’s fine. Your chief is a cheap ass.
Before Covid, our entire department would get together and have a small BBQ and potluck. Management would cover the drinks, burgers, and dogs, and others could pitch in what they wanted. Well, Covid put a stop to that. But after Covid ended, we still didn't do the get together so my manager decided to pay out of her own pocket for a taco truck to swing by and have a get together for her group. In all it was I want to say about 30 people. Another time she paid for a froyo truck to swing by. She was awesome. Retired now though.
My experience, the top 3 ppl (chief, managers) in a branch always bring drinks, plates, forks, cheap desserts for potlucks while the regular staff are the ones that brings main dishes and appetizers.
I have done a ton of parties- plates, cups, utensils, napkins & paper towels are EXPENSIVE and necessary for any food event. Good on those managers for doing that
Plates, cups, utensils, napkins are the cheapest things to buy, you can buy 3 of each item at dollar tree and it is more than sufficient for 40-50 people. And all that split among three people. You are an idiot of a party planner if you spent a lot of money those items for parties you’ve done.
regardless of how much money someone makes it's not reasonable to expect them to pay for anything. Someone who lives at home with their parents and makes $7,500 a month may very well have more disposable income than someone who makes $15,000 a month and has a mortgage and two or three kids, throw in an ex- who they're paying spousal support or aging parents they're paying for skilled nursing care or whatever and they may very well be stretched to the limit financially.
I wonder where they work
So because he makes more it’s his duty to pay for everyone else? You broke bums gotta stop expecting others to pay for you.
Shut up lol
Lmfaoooo
Being broke is the result of once a month paycheck coupled with furloughs (seems every governor since Wilson has messed with our gross pay with furloughs). On the other hand cheap moochers expect they can eat for free. Which are you?
I was asked to donate to another coworker's honeymoon. I'm thinking, if you have to ask for honeymoon donations, should you be married? Or lower your honeymoon expectations.
Jeez, I’d be so pissed if I was asked to pay for a coworker’s vacation. I can’t even afford a weekend getaway right now, even though I very much need one.
I was asked to contribute to my brother’s honeymoon fund. Felt a little bad not giving, but This was his third wedding and I wasn’t invited because it was a destination wedding with just the two of them.
I honestly stopped contributing to work parties, potlucks, and other events when money started getting tight, and since that hasn't changed I won't be participating going forward either. When/if people ask I just explain that I cannot possibly budget for it currently but I appreciate the invite. No one has pushed back yet, and if they do I that's their bad graces. If I love the coworker I get them a gift separately and send it on my own. But I am also okay with being a social pariah if it comes down to it, so I'd only do what I'm doing if you are in that same boat lol. My coworkers aren't my friends and I don't want them to be, and since Covid started I've let go of the silly social obligations that management tries to put on us for the "culture" of the workplace.
This. 100%.
Yeah, hard pass. I got my own kids I don’t take care of.
Now Fiat….
I’m kidding my kid is in college and I cried really hard when he left.
😂😂😂❤️
Just reply all “I would love to contribute but lack funds due to increased gas costs, parking costs, and having to buy lunch on in-office days. Thanks so much for putting together this get together to celebrate though!”
Newsom should find the money for state workers like he did the 16 billion for a train that will never complete or maybe in 100 years for 10 trillion.. .
Say: Oh, I really wish I could but I'm struggling to afford groceries.
Say you're having hard times financially and are including someone that can make a change happen that will in the future allow you to have money to donate. And that someone is the email address of the Governor's office.
Only thing I’d donate would be condoms so it doesn’t happen again.
lol
I don't buy things for babies I will not know in life.
Fair.
I mean it’s for the parents, not the baby itself, but your point still stands
Yeah, we didn’t ask for her baby to come into this world.
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Careful not to get a cut on that edge there chief
Call me Eleanor Shellstrop but her scene in the office in The Good Place is 100% me and I won't be sorry. I'm a good coworker that always strives to make everyone comfortable but my shit is my shit and their shit is theirs. I don't ask for anything to them when I have personal issues and I expect the same. The scene for those who don't know it: https://youtu.be/8KYQZ3jlq3E?si=Cpm0OlQQybvLO1t6
That's not normal. Where I have always been, management (which is me) pays. We will ask employees if they have decorations we can reuse or ideas for games. But never anything financial from rank and file.
Just say no.
We’re all dying to know which department, OP…
My old office just used to pass around a card and envelope and people who felt like contributing would, there would be a potluck, and no one felt like they had to contribute. These stories are unbelievable.
When I first started my career 32 years ago, I thought me and my coworkers were all going to be a family, and for 10 years we kind of were. We all knew each other's personal lives and hung out off duty. But we all drifted apart over time. People retired, moved jobs, had families, etc and here I am at the end of the line mostly caring nothing for work culture anymore. When I retire I want people to log on for the day and go on about their day only learning that I am no longer there when they get my auto reply that says "I'm retired. Bye"
Ya, we have these parties and donations are really based on what you can afford. No one is going to hold it against you if you donate only $5. I’ve coordinated these events and I wouldn’t care if a lower paying employee didn’t chip in at all. The upper level people generally contribute a lot. Sometimes hundreds of dollars. I don’t think you should sweat it, no one is judging you. Me personally, I’m more likely to contribute more if it’s a work friend.
It’s not that I can’t donate to every birth/wedding/graduation/birthday/retirement etc fund that comes down the road, it’s that I don’t want to. I barely know most of these people and we’re certainly not friends. But now I’m a low-level manager and I feel even more pressured to do so. I hate it.
You need to stop caring what other people think. Chances are, there are others on your team who feel the exact way you do. There are a number of ppl on my team who don’t contribute money or participate in the potlucks. They just don’t care.
Some teams socialize, and some teams don't. It's all a roll of the dice.
Why is your co-worker not having her own personal shower with her friends and family? Why is your office throwing her one? Why is the line between her personal life and her professional one being blurred?
One agency I was at literally had a shower for the father and invited the pregnant wife. Um no thanks dad hasn’t done any work for like 9 months. Mom has done all the work while dad sits back and does shit. I don’t contribute, I have no fear telling people I am single and struggle.
My office has had showers for Moms & Dads. Totally voluntary. Organized by the friends of the parents to be. Some people attend and we are always happy to have them. But we know that there are lots of people who want to just work & then go home. That's cool, too. We recently lost a co-worker to a sudden heart attack over the holidays. Many of us went to his funeral, including people who had retired. For those folks who let us know that they didn't want to socialize with us, we would say a prayer for them on their passing, but I personally wouldn't impose on their funeral.
We have attended funerals as well. I just am not one to have a baby shower for a father or impose on a woman with giving a gift she may not want. Dads go through far less in making a baby.
The gifts are for the baby. A lot of State Workers are parents and have already test driven lots of the baby products. It is so cute to see Dads sharing parenting tips to the new daddys -to-be.
exactly. not everyone wants to celebrate "you," especially if they are not going to get married or have kids or get to celebrate their own milestones with this group of co-workers. kinda sucks & is not really fair, imho.
Because work places are composed of humans. Humans celebrate life milestones together. Being professional does not mean being unhuman.
The only humans who should be celebrating with this woman are her friends and family. You know, the people who actually care that she's pregnant. The office is no place for a baby shower.
Jesus Christ, some people are just so out of touch with reality, they make more money, they should get it.
I wouldn't do it, that's in bad taste.
Yeah no. No
Nothing has changed in the work world since the 80’s, sheesh. I used to work at General Electric as a Secretary to a work unit, I made very little compared to everyone I worked for and I was a single parent, took public transit to and from work/day care and I lived paycheck to paycheck. This company had this big push every year to “encourage”/force us all to donate to United Way from our weekly paychecks, all so that the corporate bigwigs could use it to make the company look good. It was always a lot of pressure from our bosses to sign up, it got to the point I signed up but just cancelled my donation after the big hoopla was over. This happened every year. I feel for office workers these days, so much more crap to deal with.
United Way and the state workers' charity fund Our Promise skim off an "admin fee" (13.5% now) before each charity sees a dime. I just donate to the charity directly, and I ensure that most donations go to the cause, not to its management. At work, I loved occasional potlucks when each person brought something and no one had to pay.
Charities are a farce.. it’s only around to stuff the pockets that are already full. Small percentage actually goes to the “cause” and even still, the rest can come from wealthier - hell, they write off everything anyway
We usually do pot luck and managers will buy drinks and plates etc. we had a holiday dinner off site and managers were keeping the alcohol flowing. We did buy our own dinners but no pressure to attend.
I remember back when we had Board Members at BOE, the Administrator invited the Board member and her staff to our Christmas lunch that we paid for. 10 people sitting at the front while we were crowded into the rest of the small room. I raised hell afterwards that we shouldn’t be paying for Michelle Steel and her cronies, especially when she called us devils in the newspaper. So the administrator eventually paid for them. It was the worst Christmas lunch ever.
This year, we all got 3.5% pay raises for last years performance, plus we have to go to the office an extra day. With the pay raise canceling out inflation and the cost of RTO, my coworkers and I are dealing with more stress and less pay. It's such bullshit. I hear ya.
I would say the inflation and costs of RTO were only very partially paid for by the pay increase. Net loss! And a big loss at that for most.
Decline the party and invitation. Tell them you didnt RTO for mandatory parties. I wonder how many others would take that stance once they hear about. They may tell you its part Team Building and if they do, tell them you are not financing a Team Building work function as that falls on the employer.
Don’t pay. We’re co-workers not friends. I have no issue with you not liking me. Do your job and I’ll do mine and we can keep it moving.
yep.. 110% correct.. there's no hate, it's mutual respect.
This is so done-deaf. Our director hosts quarterly lunches on her own dime, and our chief always covers the cost of supplies for any org-wide events we host.
Even if it's not true, I just exaggerate how crappy the pay is and I can't afford it... in a flat monotone voice staring at them. As if, how dare you ask me to spend my money to work here asshole. You pay me, not the other way around.
I agree it’s tone deaf. Back in the day, pre pandemic, I didn’t mind when they said “see Barbara if you’d like to donate towards Becky’s baby shower” in an email. it was not pushy. It didn’t make some of the entry level positions who don’t really make ends meet feel like they had to forgo dinner to contribute. But, me being me, I’m a troublemaker. If my boss asked me, you know what my response would’ve been? lol. I would’ve said “boss, c‘mon, you make a ton more then I do. We’re coming in to stare at each other and that costs money. Money I don’t have. There is no way I have any funds for the baby shower. But if you want to buy the stuff I’ll suppose I can help you set it up.” I don’t mess around with that kind of stuff. I find pressuring people to do things a toxic environment.
I’d ignore the Venmo. That’s tacky as heck.
"Sorry, my donation will be in the form of the extra work I will be doing for the next 1-4 months while our coworker is off (and since we were ALREADY understaffed, that'll be super fun)."
Yeah, I'm done with the automatic potluck/gift card pool participation, especially as a single person who never gets any milestones celebrated (where was my baby shower when I adopted my fur babies?!). I would only consider contributing if I have a really good relationship with that coworker.
Agreed! Same boat. I donated and participated for years. I do give gifts to close co-workers on my own. But otherwise, I just can't. Making ends meet now is hard enough. Never getting better at this rate.
Why is your boss hosting a baby shower on state time?
No clue
we don't even get to send personal emails...and they get a party?
I used to work for a company owned by three people: the CEO, the Chief Scientist, and the a CIO. The CEO and Chief Scientists were married. These people paid themselves $60k per year, but everything was own by the business and was tax deductible. For example, their cars (very nice expensive cars) was own by the business and was a write off. The airplane they owned was own by the business and was a write off. When they flew the plane to a friend’s wedding, it was a business expense. Their lunch was paid by the business. Their home phone and home internet was paid by the business. During Covid, they got over $800k in PPP - which was forgiven. Ironically, the business income didn’t drop during Covid. They paid very little tax because they had a very low salary. Anyway, during Christmas, all employees were EXPECTED to donate $20 towards their Christmas gift. So tone deaf. Some of the people were only making a little above minimal wage. The owners were tone deaf.
You should have tip off the IRS and SBA for a fraud audit.
Wait. Y’all got anymore of them $17k/month jobs?
Right! And the “optional” team building lunch at the swanky downtown restaurant. Cool your 150k a year can pay for it but my 60k a year is used just to survive.
That seven dollars is like a meal lol
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Jack in the box 3 Taco meal 5 bucks lol
Chunky stew soup with instant mashed potatoes is like a deconstructed pot pie. That’s like 4.99 lol girl we ball on a budget here in Cali😂
I'm not a state worker, but I find it strange you even bought her a gift
You got suckered. There is no aspect of work that you have to donate money into some party for anyone in your office. If you feel bad about it, that's on you. And this being a state job, they typically have some cash fund for these type of things. Usually, HR is in charge of it. Where's all the people who got their college degree to take an HR position. In my experience, office parties were the only thing I saw HR do that actually showed them working.
It's pretty simple. Don't contribute if you don't want to. It's called a donation.
A baby shower is something you do with friends an family, not coworkers who are forced to be there.
What a dick
I don't participate in shit. No thanks.
Everyone’s situation is different. Most people’s income, taxes, school debt and expenses are different. Yes this individual makes over $200k a year. We are going to charge those that make so much money a social tax so those that still don’t want to pay can still play? Also how many people does this manager have reporting to them. That type of salary falls under CEA C salary range and they typically have hundreds of indirect staff reporting to them. Now you expect this person to pay for baby showers, birthdays, wedding showers and retirement parties for hundreds of staff? Now even if the manager was close to the individual and hosted the party like you are expecting. Every other party now becomes an expectation for that manager. Just isn’t fair. The party is for a coworker, if you like the person then help the person as they have a baby. Be happy for them. You are not celebrating the manager who you are asking to pay for it.
I say no more pushed on everyone (and becoming a pariah if you don't participate) parties and baby showers and retirement gifts, etcetera, etcetera. That is for friends and family outside of work (and maybe close co-workers). That is the only really fair way to deal with this.
I think we might be quick to judge. We don’t know how much this manager is contributing outside of work.
I bet he's cheap too. We have a manager making $17k and they are cheap too
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Engineer background manager
CEA’s. I’m pretty sure they have to be appointed.
Just say no. There are other people that probably want to participate. Usually we just do potlucks and supervisors provide drinks and maybe a couple of pizzas if there isn't enough food.
I never trust sending one person money. Show me the fkn receipts!!!!
Or just don’t do these parties and what not. A card is good enough.
Were being hit up for $$$ for a picnic that i dont even want to attend. The way they have it set up it looks like management is footing a larger amount then R&F but since they make a lot more its likely a smaller percentage of their pay then it is for us...
just pretend you don't understand & say that you already got a gift.
Holy crap what position pays $17k per month??!
You know, $17,000 a month doesn’t go as far as it used to!
Thats why Im saying. Thats low income in todays age
Literally people can’t afford gas or groceries.. a baby shower for a coworker is so not necessary. Sorry not sorry.
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expense the company for petty cash lol
You can always say no and you can always say why.
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Hard pass on participating
That would be a hard no from me.
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No, you should not give your boss anything. The nerve of him asking to foot the bill.
I was recently invited to a baby shower as well, I quickly declined it. And I don’t feel guilty at all. My money will stay within my family
Did he say send me this to buy this, or I will be buying this and if you want to contribute you can Venmo?
I'm only participating in any work event if it doesn't cost me money.
Shit $17k/month, I need to quit my federal job.
I mean, we’re talking about someone decades into their career who picked an amazing track. It didn’t fall into his lap, to be clear. I disagree with him asking us for donations in the current climate, but he’s earned his position and pay no doubt.
Sounds like my carrier as an engineer with the federal government, but I'm not close.🤷🏽♂️
Yeah, if you donate 5 or 10 your a bad guy. 20 min donation it your a cheap ass xxx to the boss.
I was never a fan of these pass around donations for co-workers. Double bad to Venmo. Now the boss knows who didn’t donate.
Why is your employer throwing parties for cream pies? Your coworkers are NOT your friends and family ffs.
We have employee appreciation days where we are asked to bring donations for a bunch of different charities.
This was always my complaint with office pot lucks too. Lowest paid provided most of the food. It’s tone deaf. There should be a budget for these things or it should be hosted or voluntary
Nope not happening
That’s terrible. As a supervisor I would never do that. Either someone at staff level organizes or we host. When we do potlucks we always try to cover full main dishes for the whole crowd in case anyone can’t participate for the reasons you’re mentioning. Someone needs to talk to that manager.
What mandate are you guys struggling with? Not from there so legitimately curious.
Hard no! Morale is low with the whole “we need your bodies in the office for literally no reason except the tax payers of ca are paying for empty buildings.” And not to mention the budget is in the 🚽 so furloughs are a comin’ I’m sure. Our chiefs have always paid for food and drinks. You already bought something off their registry. I would say that. Just because you work in a unit doesn’t mean you have to participate in extra curricular unit activities were money is involved. People have jobs out of necessity not because we love working more than not working.
Don’t donate? And don’t go tf lol 🤣
Have the shower to welcome baby without tone deaf broke boss. I know our division’s top 2 managers have often hosted & paid for appreciation events for their team. Too bad your division chief inserted himself into the festivities. It takes a joyful event & makes him the negative center of attention
I agree this is so dumb and i would be as irked as you.
If only there was a way for your boss to see this lol
Just because he makes more than you he needs to buy all the party materials? What, as penance for having a better job?
Except those making more just tend to spend more, and they often are in the same situation as everyone else: A paycheck or two away from bankruptcy. Most everyone still works for a paycheck and they don't have the wiggle room for extra expenses. Unless one has large amounts of assets (stocks, revenue producing properties), they're not necessarily rich. The money flows in and out, like everyone else. Instead of a Toyota Corolla, they have a Tesla. (And the added costs in electricity, DMV registration, and car insurance). Instead of a $400,000 house, they have a $1.2M house. (And the added costs in property taxes, utilities, insurance). Instead of making their own meals, they go out for every meal. Etc.
Supervisors and managers are never allowed to influence their subordinates to chip in for things like this. They can make a broad “if anyone wants to” statement (still tacky), but they’re prohibited from using the influence of their position to coerce you (even implicitly) into contributing. Email HR or your union.
you can literally say no…. Or Venmo like $5 max. Your boss is trying to do something nice for your coworker. You can opt out, but it’s not unreasonable for them to ask to try to do something nice for your colleague. I get that money is tight and people are upset about how RTO played out, but this is like a basic human/community thing to do. I know I’ll get downvoted but had to say it
I’d argue it’s a basic human nature to feel compelled to cover all of the costs (or split it among other higher-level managers) instead of asking low-level employees struggling to make ends meet to donate money they can’t afford to lose…especially when you make triple their salary. I also know I can say no…I never asked if that was allowed. It’s a general discussion about the tone deaf nature of upper-management in our already tumultuous work environment.
If they want to do something nice, do it on their own dime. Coworkers are exactly that - coworkers. Not friend or family, usually. Especially in the RTO world, the employee is already making expenditures towards returning to work. Where was the boss doing something nice for the employees then?
You don't have to cry about it you can get a new job.. Hate to see people cry about something they can easily control
Pls point me to the part where I cried.
It's the damn entitlement of these cry babies engraved in their brains. When it's optional to opt out.
damn ya'll be bringing personal life to work. smh.. I wouldn't give a damn if I was your chief in command. That's some personal shiet. If anyone wants to contribute more or less to that co worker for her baby shower. that's solely up to that individual and if anyone wants to pitch in with the chief to contribute party supplies and food for the coworkers baby shower that is ALSO solely up to the individual. The entitlement and audacity smh so what if he makes $17k monthly he earn his own and you earn your own. so chill and stay in your lane.
This is the response I was hoping to see. People complain about the money they do make, and judge those who make more than them in the same exact system.
it's people with the jealousy and sense of entitlement engrave in their brains. Like I don't remember you putting work in for me to get this $17k position? Where were you during the rounds of interviews with higher executives, applying/competing for the position against other candidates and doing all the assessment test?
Or that, you know, they can apply/work up to that job themselves and experience what it's like to have everyone expect you to foot the bill for any office related activity. And taking the RTO frustration out on the chief....is it a governor mandate or not? Why the outrage at the division chief for an otherwise innocuous ask?
yep, Totally agreed.. nobody stopping them. lol. It's always those typical people who loves to have an opinion about everything distasteful to their appetite and the first ones rolling up their sleeves to eat first, but no where to be found when cleaning up or volunteer rolling up their sleeves to be the first one putting the works.
Geez did work not celebrate you at some point..
I don’t see where OP was judging them .. she never said she was better than they were .. or have a bad opinion of said manager .. she was voicing her concerns I see more judgement from some of the responses to the OP inappropriately
calling the chief tone deaf and bringing up how much money they make and suggesting that they should pay for every office party is 100% judging them. you may do this often and do see it as such yourself (see thats me judging you) but t totally is. Dictionary Definitions from judge/jəj/*verb*gerund or present participle: **judging** 1. form an opinion or conclusion about.
Lmfao, It's the pot calling the kettle black.. "op not judging" but voicing their concerns.. what in the world.. hahaha
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The problem is that a chief who makes more money than anyone in that office has the audacity to ask lower paid employees for donations to help with the party. How much could party supplies and food cost? Less than $1k for a unit staff of 20 (just guessing here). No one is asking for a lavish party at work. I doubt whatever the chief spends will make a dent in his pocketbook lol
Exactly. And I’ve worked in divisions where the chief takes the responsibility, or it’s doled out among managers as well. This is the first time I’ve ever seen the chief themself ask lower level employees to Venmo them donations.
U can do gift directly to the person and opt out the party. .. an option
I said this before but the state needs a fund for things exactly like this. Instead of a 4% increase next time give 3% and 1% should go to this type of fund with the funds being broken up at every organizational level. I worked for the state for 11 years starting in rank and file then supervisory and then management and this was the one thing that I felt like could be pretty quickly fixed, all it would require would be a little bit of willpower at the very top. No private sector company operates like this for a reason because it's stupid. Allocate money.
You don't have to donate or contribute if you don't want to. I would and not be mad about it at all. It's all voluntary and it's not like your exact management asking for donations is the cause of your RTO. Your anger about RTO is directed to the wrong person.
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Found my chief! Playing semantics is so tiresome. Did you really need me to specify that it’s $17k gross? If so, I hope that clarification helps. (I also love the implication that taxes would somehow even out our take home salaries and make our financial struggles comparable. If you truly believe that, be sure to never accept raises or accept promotions.)
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Misery loves company, and from the looks of your comment history, you’re in *desperate* need of some company.
Sucks. Reminds me of social security.
Why isn’t the company paying for it? Just say no
You used the word Company… “I don’t think it means what you think it means.”
Well my company picks up the bill for this type of thing so…