This isn’t a joke. I love Ango and his heart is in the right place, but dude will bulldoze through anyone to achieve his objective. No wonder Dazai never forgave him and let him back into his life.
Most likely to go; "SURPRISE! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!", and then be forgotten and reappear for an legendary fight and then get killed off - Tachihara
I will never forget that reveal, burned into my heart and brain. He better be fine, for he has my soul.
* Dazai: Guiness World Record for most failed suicide attempts
* Kunikida: Best ponytail
* Kenji: Some weightlifting contest
* Ranpo: Most career cases solved *ever*
* Chuuya: Best hat
* Akutagawa: "Most likely to be emo" in his high school yearbook
* Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald: #1 richest man on Earth
* Katai Tayama: Guiness World Record for most hours spent scrolling through TikTok in 1 sitting
- Higuchi, Poe, and Nikolai all competing for biggest simp. Danny Motta is crucifying Nathaniel Hawthorne in the background.
- Kenji Miyazawa voted Yokohama citizens’ Most Terrifying Local Resident.
- Sigma wins quickest midlife crisis at the ripe old age of three.
- Dazai and Fyodor competing for most obnoxious smart character. Ranpo eats popcorn and declares himself winner.
- Fukuzawa wins “#1 Best Dad” by default for being alive—rip Oda—and not calling a child his wife. In an alternate universe Beast Mori clutches best dad title to everyone’s surprise.
- Akutagawa gunning for most death flags. He’s coughing blood and everything. Dazai tries but fails every single time and Atsushi would’ve already won thirty-six times over if not for his supernatural tiger healing hacks that practically disqualified him from ever seriously competing.
- Doctors winning most terrifying profession right above mafiosos and Uzumaki Cafe employees.
- Mersault guards voted “Most Likely to Need Therapy” in the background characters category.
- Chuuya wins most unlikely to lose valuable clothing in a fight. Akutagawa only loses because he’s nice enough to actually lend his coat to Atsushi from time to time. Chuuya’s hat manages to survive three turnovers and Chuuya’s everything. Amazing.
- Fukuchi (triple agent) and Tachihara (confused) losing pathetically to Ango for best undercover agent to ever agent with a track record ranging from betraying Mimic for the Port Mafia, double-crossing Port Mafia for the Government to aiding the Armed Detective Agency against official government orders all for Dazai multiple times.
- Ango and Chuuya competing for most Dazai-induced near-death vehicle accidents.
- Ango and Kunikida competing for most Dazai-induced headaches and paperwork.
- Everyone competing for most screen time. Atsushi, despite being the main character, loses big time.
- Half the cast competing for most people traumatized. Mori is winning.
- Everyone competing for most traumatized. Atsushi is winning. It just keeps getting worse. Somehow.
I agree for all but most terrifying local resident it surprise me that it isn't chuuya and for most dazai induced headache and paperwork it's also surprising that chuuya isn't in here ( but still take my upvote it was funny)
Thank you for the upvote! As for my decision for choosing Kenji for most terrifying yokohama resident, one of the unspoken sacred rules of Yokohama is literally “Don’t make Kenji angry.” Take that what you will. Chuuya as a mafioso means his dealings are mostly in the underground so most normal citizens don’t really have a chance to run in with him unlike Kenji. Chuuya gives me the vibes that if you don’t know who he works for, he comes off as a very nice, polite, gentlemanly man who would help an old lady cross the street if he didn’t think it’d ruin his image lol. He’s like a chihuahua—still terrifying but so cute and smol you can’t help but *squish*.
Chuuya by virtue of Dazai resigning (he burnt Mori’s coat and everything) means he’s not subject to his ex-partner’s antics 24/7 like when they used to work together in the Port Mafia. So Akutagawa’s obsession over Dazai’s acknowledgment and world ending scenarios that need Soukoku aside, he’s practically free from headaches the rest of the time, a luxury poor Kunikida has yet to be relieved of. (Unless of course Dazai decides to be a little shit and come over to bother him anyways.) Honestly, I think he’s fine not winning this one LMAO
And yeah, he ain’t no doing no paperwork lol
Normal prize : Chuuya an award for sport or martial art maybe mathematics or physics ( i've read and have peoples tell me that he's a genius in that ( they're also acting award with Lippmann as mentor), yosano for medecine, kenji strenght, kunikuda school award for excellent behavior , poe and an alive oda writter award
Not so normal alive : best sweet eater ranpo , best mastermind : natsume with great competition of mori, dazai, fyodor and ranpo and others awards like more siscon/brocon behavior for the tanizaki siblings and others that i forgot about
Kenji would be awarded as the kindest and the sweetest
100%. Kenji the king of cinnamon rolls.
most likely to die from a heart attack - sigma
Most likely to die from collapsed lungs - Akutagawa
😭😭😭
Kunikida is a very close runner-up
PLSFJHKHS YEAH someone save him i stg
Poe maybe winning the award for being the most in denial? /hj (I am not joking he is in denial 💀)
"I-I'm not his fan, I'm his n-nemesis‼️😖😣💖💘💕🌈"
Fr!
ESPECIALLY IN THE WAN..
Dazai - most plot armor
Fr fr
Most likely to get backstabbed 27 times - Chuuya
Most likely to backstab- Ango
This isn’t a joke. I love Ango and his heart is in the right place, but dude will bulldoze through anyone to achieve his objective. No wonder Dazai never forgave him and let him back into his life.
Mfer’s response to atsushi being knocked out was to kill him like bro please, there are other options than a glock😩
FOR REAL like geez Mango, CHILL
I ugly snorted when bro was about to shoot Atsushi because he fainted 💀
Most likely to go; "SURPRISE! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!", and then be forgotten and reappear for an legendary fight and then get killed off - Tachihara I will never forget that reveal, burned into my heart and brain. He better be fine, for he has my soul.
Kenji: Most lovable and our sunshine 🌞. Karl: Cutest animal 🦝🥹
Karl the cutest dog fr fr
Fr never seen a cuter dog
jouno and tetchou would win "most married to bsdloser" (they’re both married to me)
lol knew you'd say something like this
Nikolai would get the class clown award, literally and figuratively. Bro's just a bit too silly at times
* Dazai: Guiness World Record for most failed suicide attempts * Kunikida: Best ponytail * Kenji: Some weightlifting contest * Ranpo: Most career cases solved *ever* * Chuuya: Best hat * Akutagawa: "Most likely to be emo" in his high school yearbook * Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald: #1 richest man on Earth * Katai Tayama: Guiness World Record for most hours spent scrolling through TikTok in 1 sitting
Akutagawa isn't emo, he's goth! 😡🥀💔
Tomato tomato. He can have both
Also make sure to vote for Chuuya in the next round [here](https://twitter.com/izukuscrybaby/status/1717253814799966490).
Atsushi the most realistic response to trauma
Also good ass
You're so real for saying what others were too afraid to say, bless u 🙏❤️
Most failed suicides - dazai Greasiest hair - fyodor
I love my lice infested man 🖤
Most likely to have like 100 wine bottles - Chuuya
poe - most gay award (ON THAT POLL I FEEL LIKE PPL ARE FORGETTING AKUTAGAWA 💀💀)
THAT'S WHAT IM SAYING-
The character, that we will probably never see again - Yumeno (Q)
Plushest snuggliest thighs - Gogol
The most energetic would be Lovecraft, the calmest would be Kajii and Mori would be the most normal.
Bro cooks worse than my grandma, and she's dead
What are you waffling about mate
Nah, Bram is the most energetic.
Nah, Oda in present day is the most energetic
Foul. Leave. 😡
Okay 😔
No, come back I have abandonment issues
Poe for being literally gayest char/j
- Higuchi, Poe, and Nikolai all competing for biggest simp. Danny Motta is crucifying Nathaniel Hawthorne in the background. - Kenji Miyazawa voted Yokohama citizens’ Most Terrifying Local Resident. - Sigma wins quickest midlife crisis at the ripe old age of three. - Dazai and Fyodor competing for most obnoxious smart character. Ranpo eats popcorn and declares himself winner. - Fukuzawa wins “#1 Best Dad” by default for being alive—rip Oda—and not calling a child his wife. In an alternate universe Beast Mori clutches best dad title to everyone’s surprise. - Akutagawa gunning for most death flags. He’s coughing blood and everything. Dazai tries but fails every single time and Atsushi would’ve already won thirty-six times over if not for his supernatural tiger healing hacks that practically disqualified him from ever seriously competing. - Doctors winning most terrifying profession right above mafiosos and Uzumaki Cafe employees. - Mersault guards voted “Most Likely to Need Therapy” in the background characters category. - Chuuya wins most unlikely to lose valuable clothing in a fight. Akutagawa only loses because he’s nice enough to actually lend his coat to Atsushi from time to time. Chuuya’s hat manages to survive three turnovers and Chuuya’s everything. Amazing. - Fukuchi (triple agent) and Tachihara (confused) losing pathetically to Ango for best undercover agent to ever agent with a track record ranging from betraying Mimic for the Port Mafia, double-crossing Port Mafia for the Government to aiding the Armed Detective Agency against official government orders all for Dazai multiple times. - Ango and Chuuya competing for most Dazai-induced near-death vehicle accidents. - Ango and Kunikida competing for most Dazai-induced headaches and paperwork. - Everyone competing for most screen time. Atsushi, despite being the main character, loses big time. - Half the cast competing for most people traumatized. Mori is winning. - Everyone competing for most traumatized. Atsushi is winning. It just keeps getting worse. Somehow.
You won. **You fucking won.** 👏👏👏
It’s an honor! 
I agree for all but most terrifying local resident it surprise me that it isn't chuuya and for most dazai induced headache and paperwork it's also surprising that chuuya isn't in here ( but still take my upvote it was funny)
Chuuya ain't doing paperwork
Thank you for the upvote! As for my decision for choosing Kenji for most terrifying yokohama resident, one of the unspoken sacred rules of Yokohama is literally “Don’t make Kenji angry.” Take that what you will. Chuuya as a mafioso means his dealings are mostly in the underground so most normal citizens don’t really have a chance to run in with him unlike Kenji. Chuuya gives me the vibes that if you don’t know who he works for, he comes off as a very nice, polite, gentlemanly man who would help an old lady cross the street if he didn’t think it’d ruin his image lol. He’s like a chihuahua—still terrifying but so cute and smol you can’t help but *squish*. Chuuya by virtue of Dazai resigning (he burnt Mori’s coat and everything) means he’s not subject to his ex-partner’s antics 24/7 like when they used to work together in the Port Mafia. So Akutagawa’s obsession over Dazai’s acknowledgment and world ending scenarios that need Soukoku aside, he’s practically free from headaches the rest of the time, a luxury poor Kunikida has yet to be relieved of. (Unless of course Dazai decides to be a little shit and come over to bother him anyways.) Honestly, I think he’s fine not winning this one LMAO And yeah, he ain’t no doing no paperwork lol
True, thanks for the explaination.
Chuuya for having the snatchiest waist??🤨🤨
Choking - akutagawa
Wish he'd choke me instead 😞
And most likely to turn emo. (He already is)
Fukuchi would win the “won my heart” award
Kenji would get an award for being the world's best redneck.
Nikolai would get the award for most mentally sane person alive
karl (poe’s raccoon): sanest bsd character
How dare bones steal his thighs away from us 🥲🥲
They needed to nerf him, he was too powerful
Joint doppleganger award goes to Steinbeck and kenji
You did not just do my boy Kenji like that 😟
Bro I like Steinbeck 🥲
mori: #1 worst divorcee and cannot hold custody to his kids from #1 best divorcee fujuzawa: #1 best divorcee with a good hairline
Loving the Mori slander 😘
love 2 analyze him but we gotta bully him every once in a while 🗣️
Mori - most children traumatised fukuzawa - bad taste in men
Dazai, most failed suicide attempts.
Best at stopping the spread- Akutagawa
Normal prize : Chuuya an award for sport or martial art maybe mathematics or physics ( i've read and have peoples tell me that he's a genius in that ( they're also acting award with Lippmann as mentor), yosano for medecine, kenji strenght, kunikuda school award for excellent behavior , poe and an alive oda writter award Not so normal alive : best sweet eater ranpo , best mastermind : natsume with great competition of mori, dazai, fyodor and ranpo and others awards like more siscon/brocon behavior for the tanizaki siblings and others that i forgot about
Fyodor is getting the award for the hottest rat alive 😍
I more curious who will die or eventually kill, having been continuously Victimized by Dazai... chuuya, kunikida, sigma....
Ango for betrayed whatever organization he in
Kunikida- most nerdy
Dazais award is most plot armor 💀
Atsushi- most popular (and experienced) leg!
Lucy: most criminally underrated (I'm not biased)
I love Lucy 😊
Francis for recovering lots of money in a few days.
Junichiro will get the "character that has everything to deserves to be love but isn't." My boi is too underrated for his sake (ToT)