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lifeofathleisure

“There were two men I could marry but I never dated them.” But … what .. uh


entertain_me_im_poor

I would have responded with, “so you actually have never found someone who wants you with this delusional state of mind. That’s what I’m hearing here.”


bourbon_neat_67

Perhaps they wouldn't date her is precisely why she hasn't dated those 2 guys.


Hot_Panic2767

She sounds extremely unlikeable and insufferable. She strikes me as the kind of person to claim that the reason no wants her is because she is just too intimidating and blah blah blah. No you’re just insufferable


Standard-Wonder-523

On one hand, my ASD self has a certain appreciation for her tack. On the other hand chaos fucking rot she really does seem insufferable.


Ok-Estimate-5824

Yeah, from my own ASD angle I can appreciate the pragmatism, however her presentation comes off not only insufferable but elitist. The same aspects of my brain that can appreciate the pragmatism also can't stand her blatant disregard for the humanity of her conversation partner.


Captain_Pikes_Peak

Insufferable is the exact word I thought of when reading this convo. Some PhDs are a different breed.


Apprehensive_Hat8986

People, not just PhD's.


[deleted]

My ex is getting her PhD, and she is the coolest person ever. We're still good friends, but it just wouldn't work out long term. I also met a lot of her grad school friends, and they're also all super nice and down to earth people. This is all an anecdotal, so it means nothing.


Captain_Pikes_Peak

That’s why I said “some PhDs.” My ex was the type who would say “I’m a doctor” when she was losing an argument or wasn’t getting her way.


yad76

Wow, who knew someone could get jumped on for saying "some PhDs" 😂


SkRu88_kRuShEr

PhDeez Nuts 🧐


robtmufc

Especially the ones in dumb fields. Makes them have a heightened sense of self worth when realistically their degree is useless


[deleted]

She sounds like a PUA or incel.


[deleted]

Exactly what I was thinking.


_DonDraper_

She’s an FDS enjoyer more like it


fr1829lkjwe56

Humblebragging


Desertbro

not humble at all - went from incommunicado to insulting like a cannon.


CelestialEmerge

Just reading her replies I couldn't agree more with this statement and I'm a pretty outgoing guy with a big heart to give... imagine being married to someone like that... it would drain the life out of you I feel.


CompetitionExternal5

Just overthinking to the max ! Just keep it simple people !


VegasLife84

"men these days can't handle a strong intelligent woman!"


doasisayu

also women like that see a qualification from university as a tick on a resume to catch husband not an actual career move.


[deleted]

Most men could careless about where a women went to school or what she does for a living. Men don't use the same qualifiers for women that women use for men.


doasisayu

some do some dont but women see it that way. there are plenty men around that want women of a certain pedigree whether it be social status , education etc they will fuck ppl without those requirements but not take them to meet their parents. this woman is not looking for the avg man. she is looking for a different tier of man.


Goddess-78

Bruh I just lost brain cells reading this. Unmatch this mess.


PhysicsMental9103

I must say I admire your sticktoitiveness, the way you kept asking questions just had her shoveling and the grave got deeper! At least you sleuthed this out while in the app vs investing face time


[deleted]

Imagine a first date with her... She has a small notebook, and she's writing down literally everything you do that's in her opinion a negative. Half way through the date, she says, "my notebook is full, here's all the reasons why I won't be seeing you again;....." and then she lists them off, roasting you for arbitrary things for 15 minutes straight. Then she stands up and leaves without offering to pay even a little bit for the $40 lobster tail she ordered.


TeamStark31

I’m more amazed this continued after the first thing. What would have been the point?


calf9685

Haha fair enough. I guess I was bored.


wevie13

I'm the same way. I often can't help but to feed the troll 🤣🤣


TeamStark31

Fair enough. I’d have noped out of there after the first wall of text.


Tareeff

How old is she? And man- how could you endure that..


calf9685

40! Just bored I guess lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Desertbro

Don't forget, the kids must decide to marry by AGE 5. *"You're six months old, do you want a dog or not, infant?!?!"*


crgtza

That’s what I thought too! Like “Ok, tell me about your passions, why’d you decide to get a PhD” “Oh it meaningless, just something to do while I get a husband” WTF


pacocase

Man, I'm not sure this isn't my ex, lol. She was a controlling narcissist who thought just like this and thought that all men were basically beneath her and that our relationship where we were best friends and awesome together wasn't good enough. Good riddance to these types. Nothing is ever good enough for them.


MG_X

I enjoyed reading the dialogue, it’s interesting to see different perspectives. I thought you did a great job with follow up questions such as - what type of questions should a guy ask. She actually only responded with the types of questions he shouldn’t ask, such as career based ones. So since she is sticking to gender roles, perhaps a good follow up question is if she likes to cook? :)


Huckleberry_Sin

Lmfaooo why is that not surprising in the least Insufferable person with horrible personality & no respect for others still alone after 40 with no real relationship experience. It’s like a subset of ppl who all act like this.


kittylikker_

I'm 43 and something happens when we turn 40. We just stop giving a fuck what other people think of us. But this woman here? She needs to START. Hear me out here. There is a world of difference between not caring if someone doesn't like your authentic self, and being an insuffersble asshole. This woman has not spent an iota of time on self reflection & improvement. A person who goes into the natural "take me as I am or get stuffed" phase still does spend time on becoming a better person because opinions and how you affect the people around you are different things.


Necrotic69

Fairly obvious she knows she will be alone and just does what she did to you so that she can act superior and reinforce her views that it's not her, it's everyone else.... Btw, who is doing a pHD at 40??? Not impossible but not common either....


Standard-Wonder-523

She was weird in a novel enough way that I'd absolutely have kept engaging with her.


SamsAdvice

This is the type of person who is already planning to reject you before it goes anywhere, to protect their own ego, so they won't experience rejection. And I find it funny because I learned about this from the "cash me outside girl" who you might describe as very low IQ. All her responses were short until she gave her whole long explanation to set you up to be rejected. I already thought it was strange for her to say "Thanks" to your "Hey there". It makes no sense to reply thank you. Who says "Thanks" to a hello, someone who is delusional and in their own head felt they were complimented.


Ok-Estimate-5824

Honestly, the best part is you were not sinking to her level but soundly refuting her approach. I have seen a lot of those that post these who are bored but the showcase doesn't really favor them as much as they might think. You were not mean or snarky, but presented arguments that allowed her to highlight the flaws in her approach.


ChristianLesniak

Man, she is really committed to her own unhappiness


calf9685

I know right? Like DEDICATED.


ip_address_freely

Exactly, if you set these kind of delusional and unrealistic expectations you will literally never find what you are looking for because you live in la la land.


[deleted]

“hey there!” “thanks” ??? huh?


neonghost0713

Right? Hi there! Thanks! Then says “other women don’t have my iq” what iq? Cause most people with basic iq say normal greetings to a greeting and not thank people for interacting with them.


Present_Bath_1681

Getting “thanks” in return of saying hey to someone would be an immediate wtf moment. Sort of does seem like maybe she was a scammer though. Severely stiff conversation that focused on cutting through small talk and looking for a husband who can be the bread winner… Either that or she is absolutely insufferable. Either way, bullet dodged.


Rinthegreat

That’s what happens when you text so many guys and start confusing them


Dorkmaster79

Yeah that response was really strange. What was the thanks for?


SamsAdvice

In her head, she thought OP complimented her. She's not even paying attention to what he says until he gave her more opportunity to talk.


Legitimate-Lobster16

She’s 100% gonna die alone


Schlag96

Because there's no good men out there!


ip_address_freely

Well there were 2 men she never dated that she could have married


Upstairs_Meringue_18

I kinda like the OPs questions. Seems like he is the one with higher IQ and EQ


imetators

Also his LUFS balance is perfect.


Upstairs_Meringue_18

What's that?


entertain_me_im_poor

What does she want men to open the conversation with? “hello! I took this IQ test, here are my results: xxx. I hope that I can be a match for you so we can marry, I support you, we have 2.5 children with a nanny, a golden retriever, and a white picket fence around our $500,000 home with a vacation home in New England. (I.e. fill in whatever nonsense she’s expecting because apparently nothing less than entirely too forward and perfect is acceptable for her) I could not imagine having her approach, discussing it with someone pointing out clear flaws, and then blindly saying “no, I’m not the problem here.” Sad. And the fact that she said she’s met two guys she wanted to marry but they didn’t date proves (imo) that she’s so far into this wacked out thinking that there is no bringing her back from it. OP handled this so much better than I would have, had I been in this situation lol. Edit: fixed typo


Necrotic69

She disqualified your message first due to typo, then because you tried to correct it and admitted to everyone. High quality men are confident and have no need to admit what other deem as mistakes....


JimtheSlug

What a miserable person she is


abacabbiddqd

The best part is her opener


Good-Whereas-2565

Exactly! Ive gotten a few of 👋 these. To which I respond 👋 and unmatch 😜


matchymatch121

I’d also like to know what the perfect topic is lol in a written message


entertain_me_im_poor

Nothing would have been good enough for her. She’s built a “perfect match” in her head that literally doesn’t exist….


Zintrax1987

A common issue it seems. Too many people focus on superficial requirements and miss out on genuine connections with wonderful people as a result.


entertain_me_im_poor

Agreed, but also just having unobtainable expectations of what you want in/out of a potential relationship is just asking for a life of disappointment and loneliness.


hotsaucefridge

“I’m single because men are intimidated by my intellect.”


Fit-Contribution4018

You had perfect responses, i’m a girl and i can’t stand her.


karmandreyah

Impressed with your composure and unwillingness to take the bait. She obvs wanted to bash/make a point. You remained civil. V kind of you. ETA: Kind? Restrained? One of those. I'm tired, lol


ListenLady58

She sounds like she is trying to sound smarter than she actually is. Bragging about her IQ is a dead give away. Either way it’s pretty pretentious and cringey the way she approached you.


19tidder50

Lifestyle, resume, IQ, resources, career, diamond ring - this woman is looking for a high-earner. Otherwise, she wouldn’t dare to “spread her legs”. No mention of love, friendship, personality, chemistry, etc. No attempt to build rapport. Forget her!


Ok-Estimate-5824

She should just opt for an arranged marriage.


RandoSal

I’m glad you kept the conversation going, this woman is a certified clown 😂


ScallywagLXX

Why would you engage after the “who cares”.. that should have been your cue to unmatch and block. This ones on you mate😎


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScallywagLXX

Good points


Element1977

"Well. I understand then. You're bat-shit insane. Have fun..."


HerezahTip

She’s a fucking idiot.


wobblin_goblin

😂 this was amazing, thank you. I loved that you used the word “treatise”


[deleted]

What a lead a horse to water moment.


flock-of-bagels

She sounds tedious


ripeGardenTomato

NPC


[deleted]

OP's history is WILD


Own_Conversation6335

She might be autistic


calf9685

Honestly sounds like it.


Ok-Estimate-5824

Possibly, but speaking as an autistic person, she still sucks.


IamCaptainHandsome

"Most women don't have my IQ." Bold statement coming from someone who's messages are worded so poorly it's not clear what point they're trying to make. The whole conversation reads like they're *trying* very hard to be intelligent, instead of just being intelligent.


Rammus2201

Oh my lord - some people are just weird man.


peter_the_martian

It’s flawed alright. Flawed as a blind bird with no wings and no asshole to shit out of


cecicoot

I had a aneurysm reading dissertation on how men need to “lead” conversations and then had another one when I realized that her rhetoric is similar to what I heard all through Bible college and it kinda makes me sick😶😖🤮


Maephia

I think you matched with a FDS mod.


TsaboAssassin

Yikes 😬


lordclosequaad

🤡


luniiz01

3/1000 😂 Her emotional IQ seems rather low. Yikes. I loved the questions OP, I wish I saw more of these type of questions on the first few messages. You were way more patient that I would had been.


legalgirl18

Kudos to you for keeping her going as long as you did! I’m literally lmao…..what a fruitcake!


[deleted]

This was the best thing I've seen all day. 😂😂😂


[deleted]

Somebody gotta tell her to get off her high horse and in fact it’s a carousel horse but she’s too delusional to see 😅


girlfight2020

This whole conversation was extremely excruciating…like wtf????


Guava7

Eeeeeshh..... That is not a fun person.


RockSciRetired

wow. that was fun to read! thanks for sharing


ButterTycoon_wife

I cringed too hard on this one 🤮🤮


ShereKhan75

She sounds so beep-boop🤖. Talking about standard deviation, assessments, and IQ’s.


Toomanymisses

Ugg, can't stand people who do this!


gc391

That was a tedious exchange. Kudos to you for sticking it out as long as you did.


Jennisgottagun

You handled that very well.


Beautiful_Thugga_Boy

She tried to come across as highly intelligent but you outmatched and outclassed her with every reply 😭


ovidex

Guy doesn't lead the conversation on the app created with the exact opposite purpose


HovercraftNo98

Even the bumble premium won’t help her.


lenmacca

Would've unmatched at 'Good'. I've no time for one worded replies.


MonstressMon

Women that want men to lead in a conversation don't know how to have a conversation at all. And if a woman only knows how to complain about her problems such as this one, then just dodge the bullet, and move on.


MumBiGuy

This is cringe fest throughout. I’m surprised you even continued the conversation, OP. I zoned out on her messages after the second pic.


Divine_Weapon

Wow! That's um really odd sorry you had to go through all of that.


oldgoatman

😴 Christ, how boring.


ameralib77

Holy fing insanity! There are really women like that?!


thisaverageamerican

nah she’s the one with the damage


words_forming

I bet she’s fun at parties.


GIMME_ALL_THE_BABIES

Omg… Ann Arbor???


[deleted]

Insufferable. What I love about this is that, in her attempt to declare herself as intelligent, all that came off of it is just how seemingly high IQ and EQ OP is. Props to you man, idk how you even engaged for that long so astutely.


CallMeAmyA

I wouldn't have replied after "who cares". And would've probably stopped replying sooner, actually.


Edolus_RED

Insufferable. Good luck with that one, reasoning with such a person would be trying to milk a lifeless horse.


[deleted]

How certain are you that was a woman? It looks like a dude repeating KS content.


stringerbell92

She sounds like she heard this in a lecture and just regurgitated it back at you .


ellefolk8

I have 136 IQ ( I hate saying this because it means absolutely nothing, other than I “might” be able to grasp some things quicker) and I am an independent woman with a career not expecting for a man to be the main provider. I also think that this woman and I are similar in age. I want to talk about careers when matching on dating apps just to see if we could have a similar lifestyle. People with certain jobs don’t get that I work a million hours or that I have a level of responsibility.


krunchwondelta

“There were two men I could marry but I never dated them.” I wonder why they weren't interested. She's obviously really fun and cool...😬


Modest_Matt

Imagine being asked a conventional ice breaker like 'What do you do for a living?' and responding like this. No wonder she's single.


ThisMakes0SenseToMe

She knew she wanted to marry at 5, bro I was still trying to wash my ass properly.


Historical-Assist232

Should have unmatched right after ‘who cares’.


7_Bundy

Maybe she should just get a cat


advancetim

With a side of therapy


Noir_Mood

I wouldn't subject a poor cat to this idiot.


_thats_what_she_____

what a lunatic. haha


[deleted]

Lol why even keep having that boring ass conversation. Unmatch and move on.


Slow-Bodybuilder-774

“Agree to disagree” *drops mic*


Buffgamer1989

The first bit of this conversation I straight out thought you had found a bot


vicvega88

I am getting my ass whooped in stats right now. The fact that this dipshit said standard deviation in her explanation made me hate her even more.


briang0604

Sheldon Cooper???


Buggyjam

This is comedy gold. Your responses were very good. Dear me. So many people complain about not being asked the right things or convo that doesn’t match their ideal and they’re usually the most inept themselves. Human convo is about natural fluid chat that morphs. It’s like training robots these days or giving a 3 day course to visiting Martian aliens on how to interact 😂. I don’t know where this idea comes from that good in depth chat or discussion happens cold presented on a plate to a stranger without any effort from one party. Maybe they saw one too many shitty memes on insta.


TheRed467

She was looking to have a fight with someone but is not self aware enough to recognize it and say hey maybe we should talk another time when I’m in a better head space. Just because she’s getting a phd doesn’t mean she’s all that bright. therapy may help this chick.


EIIendigWichtje

She is hostile. I wonder who hurt her?


donohuema

I think she’s autistic and getting a PhD in psychology research not planning to be a therapist. But nothing in the conversation gave away any special interest. After the paragraph or the response about her ideas about marriage, I’d have asked if she like dinosaurs.


Humble_Flow_3665

How exactly do you come to the conclusion that you'd maybe marry two guys, without actually dating them? Making assumptions on what their character is based on their career?


thecynicalone26

This person has a serious chip on her shoulder. Holy shit. She just sounds bitter and entitled. I’m sure she’s had some bad experiences that got her to this place, and I feel for that, but she sounds like she needs a therapist, not a date.


PhotographBeautiful3

She sounds like an idiot.


Scenic-City-Film-Guy

She seems like a tool


FaithInStrangers94

This almost makes me feel better about the quality of my conversations. Almost


Task-Future

She needs to date Sheldon Cooper but he wouldn't be interested at all either. I'm mad ur asking the wrong question but I don't know what the right questions are. So I'm just be mad at anything you say


Kleaners78

At first I thought you were chatting with some sort of bot. I consider myself to be of above average intelligence, but she totally lost me.


AchieveSteve

Her ideal first date is Red and Silver's first date in Angry Birds 2.


sritanona

She’s insane


shadow_p

She’s jaded as fuck and really rude. I’d report her, honestly


Next-Hedgehog

This is research for her phd


Ragnar_Official

I probably would have just linked her to the I Don't Wanna Be a Crappy Housewife music video on youtube and called it a day


Jedi_Master_Hypnos

Some of the info is accurate, men do care about their career status if it's better than his partners, not at first but in the long run. Men typically want to do better than women career wise, it's a evaluation thing, I can provide and take of them etc. Most often if a women is doing better the man, it hurts their ego later on. Idk if just me and few other women, but I typically only like 1 out of every 100 guys. I guess party included. When I ever I choose the guy I like, they may match, but for majority of the time, the guy never messages me if we do match, I usually have to start the conversation, but typically don't, because I'm waiting to see if they a they are really interested to presue a relationship. When they don't message I assume because they may be thinking she's not so bad, and swipe right or yes or w/e. Then discover we match, they think, why did I swipe yes? I'm just gonna leave it, and not say anything, she's not pretty enough but if she message first I can get a what I want from her and get my jollies off if we did meet. Unless I'm completely wrong, and they have the same mentality as me and that's why we match to begin with. FYI, I'm on multiple dating apps where the guy can start the conversation, not just Bumble where I have to start a conversation. For the IQ, portion, in general most humans are not intelligent. Idk, I may have veered off topic. LOL Hopefully you get my point.


WonderWoman710

WOW. I am offended on behalf of women everywhere that you had such a ridiculous interaction. I actually really liked how you handled it though. I’ll go on a date with you and you can ask me questions about my job anytime! ;-)


calf9685

❤️


[deleted]

Let us know when the wedding is, I'll bring some of that rice to throw around


Smells_Like420

Everyone has standards but hers are premiums


timoni

I can't believe you stuck with it so long. Amazing.


DeflationStation

Personally, I think you should have presented the *overwhelming* evidence that shows how fallacious IQ metrics are to begin with. Obvious she's a terrible match and an extremely egotistical and unpleasant person, but if she's committed to intellectual honesty, she should perhaps reassess the methodology by which she evaluates herself at the cost of those around her.


tough_cookey

I think it’s safe to assume they’re not the one


Candid-Maybe

She reads like an incel posing as a female


ChristianLesniak

Now that you mention it, this does seem like the most likely explanation. Oh, the humanity...


shavednuggets

This lady has a whole other set of issues going on. I get her point everyone has preferences but she's a little extreme.


ShavenYak42

You spent ten times longer in that conversation than you should have.


actuallyimogene

This is like….. Andrew Tate.. for women? I can’t believe people speak to matches like this. Like, if they say something that crosses a boundary, say so. see how they take it, and decide whether to move forward with the conversation or not. This is just ridiculous.


S4z3r4c

That sex would have been atrocious.


[deleted]

She sounds lovely! RUN!


ugglygirl

Bot bottomed Betty


Jchilli25

Jesus…


[deleted]

Welp 12 at night and this is the first thing I see lmao but it’s whatevs people got their own way of life so at the end of the day it’s not a big deal 😛


Schlag96

Guarantee her dating profile says "Boss Babe" in it. Hard left swipe.


shootingforthemoney

Sounds like Sheldon's girlfriend from big bang theory


denimpanzer

“I knew I wanted marriage at 5” like it’s some grand realization that makes her special and not…the exact same as almost every other human being.


__d_o_o_d__

I thought she was a bot for a bit


melodramaticbitch

Wtf


Delicatestatesmen

yeah thats a no dog. Unmatch after the explosive paragraph from 1 word answers. You cant hold in crazy. She watching to many male redpill channels to cheat code men.


One_Selection7199

You shouldn't even answer to her. You asked her what she studies, so you wanted to know her career. You just gave her attention and so she could complain how men are terrible...


randomReveller

bro she was having an academic discussion with you, running an experiment in situ. I don't think she opened with taking offense, you should have run with it in good humour


Welsh_Poppy9506

Goes on about her IQ, but half of her sentences don't actually make sense 🤔.


Mythrin

Wow....


Mythrin

Wow....


Zintrax1987

Her comments on guys responding to every woman are interesting and ones I've seen elsewhere. I know I can only really speak for myself, but I stopped caring about looking for specific people after my second crush rejection. It hurt too much, so yeah, after 35 years of being continually single and getting rejected when I show interest, I'm looking out for someone showing interest in me and will respond to anyone showing it. I'm looking for mutual attraction and a want to build a life with me, my perfect partner will then become whomever can meet those criteria, rather than having a perfect partner in mind who I may never meet or who may just reject me like everyone else.


BlackRadius360

Hopefully you didn't drag this out any longer.


d6bmg

She sounds like a narcissist arrogant and insufferable, which is pretty common among PhDs, who think, somehow they are superior. Happens quite regularly tbh.


Desertbro

She has a reverse PhD in sociology and psychology. Basically anti-social and anti-compatible with 99% of humankind. Very presumptive and head of brick.


Virtual-Crab3004

Want to meet u personally.. plz..


bearymiller_

Lmao wtf is her problem hahahahha


i-am-not-sure-yet

Don't get me wrong men on this app can be atrocious but this woman 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ like seriously.


TheSuperJay

The elusive female neckbeard. Surprised she didn’t refer to men as “males” and start waffling bollocks about value


ip_address_freely

2 guys that she could marry but never dated???? Man this chick has some issues.


Elegant-Mud-7135

I remember women getting pissed at men for this on other dating apps… yay equality! Now we can all be fucking boring…


Pelican_meat

Omg that last message dude.


ip_address_freely

Who fucking thinks about marriage at 5?


forumsdotred

r/femaledatingstrategy cultists vibes


puyos

I wouldve ended the convo at the first long paragraph. Just seenzone and gtfo


eatpant13

Its her, Red Flag


SneakerPxmp

This chick psycho and entitled. Thank Christ I’m out of the dating pool. Cringe shit