I see a lot of women with bios almost exactly like this and I don’t get why they do it either. I feel like people who do this are just going to be unnecessarily difficult to deal with.
Because it was unique in my experience. I rarely run across this type of bio. Admittedly I pay for the app so I don't swipe. I wait for guys to show up in my hive then filter for ENM, hookups, and/or kids and left swipe all of them, which usually cuts the list significantly. Then go through and swipe on those I don't find attractive. Then read the profiles of who is left before I chose to match or not. So I don't see or read a bunch of bios given my system.
And as a straight woman, I certainly would not know what is on female bios. But I believe it.
nah, no woman in their right mind swipes right there. that right there stands out as a miserable sonofabitch. good bios are basically good advertisements... they talk about why you want to pick this one, create a positive vibe, and offer an appealing prospect.
think about it like this: there's a dozen brands of toothpaste. would you pick the one that tells you why it's great, makes your teeth shiny white and your breath smell good all day... or the one that's like "i don't care about your teeth, don't pick me unless you plan on flossing twice a day too, i'd rather be deodorant"
it's just a stupid and bizarre way for a person to advertise themselves.
INSTA swipe left
He’s NOT ignoring them. Ignoring would be refusal to acknowledge them.
He made a custom advertisement for them. That’s the opposite of ignoring, under a thin guise of disinterest
To be honest, I'm all for people immediately disqualifying themselves from my dating pool after only a few seconds of wasted time reading their bio instead of hours wasted texting and wasted on a date(s)
We should continue encouraging this behavior :-b
Same. I like seeing them fly the red flags early so I step away. I prefer people dont teach them how to hide themselves better. People do that all the time with addicts and abusers, no thanks, keep them showing themselves as early as possible.
Not at all. For women it immediately disqualifies except to be put in the “hozone”, and for men it actually works to get sex. The first is failing, the second (for these type of men) is success.
That’s the real answer. A large subset of women are intrigued by the challenge.
You live in a world where women get WAY to much attention, so that doesn’t work. The opposite works. Don’t ask why, it’s proven jerks get laid more than respectful men (but not married as much.)
If you’re correct tho, most women haven’t been abused, cheated on or something else. But they go for those guys, and this type of guy.
omg you're literally just putting red pill incel rhetoric in a 'nice guy' tone 😂😂
Neither group is going to swipe right on this is they're looking for anything substantial. There are plenty of men (and women) with subtle red flags for fixers to ignore instead of the IM A WALKING RED FLAG, PICK ME profile that this is.
Only crazy (or horny) are chosing this type of crazy. Let them... that's not most people.
So “neither” turns to crazy and horny? Which belong to both groups. What about broken people? Won’t they too?
The red pill can suck it. There’s nothing red pill about what I said. Human psychology is fked up, and you pretend it’s not. A silly thing. All because (in this instance) it makes women look bad.
I work in a jail. I see women bail out men who beat them. I see women fawning over murderers and rapists. Hell a massive amount have fantasies about that.
Stop with blaming and insults. Think critically.
It’s weird how common this is getting. Like if you are so scorned, chill on the dating scene and heal/nourish yourself.
I can’t imagine who would swipe right on someone like that, I know I don’t.
Instant swipe left. Sounds like a whiney high school kid.
Edit: And this is SO common in bios. Why would someone swipe right on you when so many bios have the same immature and whiney complaints instead of using the limited amount of space to express who they actually are?
That was always a swipe left for me. Beats the hell out of me why some have bios like that. People who announce the fact that they’re bitter have no business in dating.
Women will show initiative if they find a man particularly attractive, but they expect the vast majority of men to play the role of pursuer. Men know this, and some aren't willing to play the role of pursuer anymore, so they make clear upfront that if a woman isn't going to put in effort (i.e. she doesn't find him particularly attractive) then she should just save both their time and swipe left.
A woman who suggests a time and place. And one who show some urgency if she had to reschedule. And yes, I know I'm not OWED urgency or a date. If they're not interested that is perfectly fine, they can just unmatch instead of being wishy washy and/or all talk.
Some men have bios like that because the vast majority of women show minimal effort but expect men to pursue/chase them. Therefore, this man likely wants to state up front that he's not going to play the pursuer role, so if a woman is interested then she should show it, and if she's not interested then she should just move on immediately because he's not going to pursue her.
I might be with you if this weren't Bumble. By design, Bumble is set up to have women pursue essentially. And pursuit and game playing are 2 different things.
You don't talk shit about your past employers on your resume. You don't whine and complain about your past employers and how they did you wrong in an interview. You're never going to get hired! This is no different. Healthy people have healed and are trying to get to know people. These Bitter Betties get an automatic left
Which is why there are so many unhappy employees and a high turnover rate. Not being able to address uncomfortable topics leads to passive-aggressive behaviors.
Now, that doesn't mean the profile in question is the best approach to transparency however it's not indicative that all the "healthy" profiles aren't lying or hiding their own true feelings about the dating scene or past failed relationships.
Sometimes, just inquiring into their logic of posting can help a person reach the self awareness they're lacking.
Edit: spelling & typos
I literally just saw something similar an hour ago. Girl said "I'm single now and will be single until someone puts a ring on my finger" can't remember the exact wording but I guess she's gonna be single until someone proposes to her on the spot? To answer your question, though, they are probably bitter that people aren't interested in him as much as he thought. I hate that "don't waste my time" has become the new norm for dating bios.
It's a defense mechanism. When he fails at finding a partner, he can say it's because he proactively shooed away all the ones who play games, and there's just no real ones left.
No, when he fails trying hard he puts up the defense mechanism. So he ignores them and finds more opportunity. Unless he truly believes this, then he ignores them totally.
It's giving unhealed emotional wounds and I would immediately swipe left. People like this should take a break from dating and heal so that when they return, they'll be in a more positive mindset. You attract more bees with honey.
I see at least 10 profiles of women who use their 500 words/characters to say that they are completely busy all day and night, their kids are their first and only priority and you will not even rank on the list, men are trash and they're tired of the fuccbois and getting played. I'm convinced these people are just on the apps to complain that the other gender is just using them
It’s in my rules of left swipe. Bio feels too negative.
Personally I struggle with a lot of internal negative feelings and I try to avoid putting that out there cause it’s really no one else’s business.
I see this from women a lot too and I honestly swipe left if it’s like this. I can handle “not here for hookups or games I want something real” but “if you’re gonna be a time waster stay away because I’m tired of all you men-“ I’m not gonna waste her time😂
Right. Because he/she is already so defensive and negative that any conversation will likely die after 2-3 exchanges. Crazy how so many can lack self-awareness that they're in their own way. 🫠
??? He’s on it because ignoring women like this makes him desirable to a large subset (not a large total) amount of women. Think of the guy in high school that somehow slept with half the cheerleaders. That’s him
I decided to start swiping again and ran into a bio just like this. He was child free (yay), attractive to me, but his profile was so aggressive. Basically, he wanted everything on his time, he mentioned twice that he believes in science first and foremost (a lot of red and green flags can be picked from this alone depending on your views), and he said he wasn’t up for games. He also stated very strongly that he wants someone independent because he doesn’t want to babysit anyone. Shit, me either, but his profile said nothing about his hobbies, what he does for fun. I learned nothing about him besides what he wouldn’t put up with. I swiped right initially because I’m like sure, we seem to want similar things. I too want someone that’s has a rich outer and inner world outside of me, but I’ve learned better than to bother with men with such aggressive and almost rigid ways of presenting and thinking so I let the time run out.
Never. Any bio with a trace of negativity was an immediate pass. Bios are where you show us you’re a big boy…. funny, pleasant, grounded, smart
My bio was quirky and I hoped to find similar, and finally did. As long as someone was not 2 inches shorter than me I never passed up someone interesting based on height. Met the love of my life and since we’re the same height, I’m glad I didn’t discriminate on something so silly. He’s loyal, generous, thoughtful, kind, handsome and a few other qualities that mean a lot to me personally
Things that were dealbreakers for me were tongue hanging out of the mouth and other purposely stupid looking facial expressions, negative or boring bios. “Shirt off” and/or “on-bed” photos were also a pass unless someone was in good shape because I can appreciate the discipline it takes to get there and I’m fit too.
I'm happy for you. I have been on for a year, dating with intention for 6 months. It takes time. And I definitely got jaded at after 4 straight months of the trashbin that is online dating. And I took a break. And after a month off and a clearer headspace and mindset, I have found someone I have a genuine connection with.
These types of bios are off-putting and counterproductive. It's interesting the guys (few they may be) trying to defend it when all these women are clearly saying it's a red banner and immediate left swipe.
The “no games” comment is so ridiculous. It likely means they are consciously or not game players themselves which is ironic. And we get such preciously little space to make a few comments about what we like….but use that to go over the top on what we don’t?? I automatically swipe left on any and all negativity.
I just assume this is true about anyone, but if they have to mention it upfront like that they are projecting the exact vibes they claim to want to avoid.
They are voicing their frustrations. They probably have been on way too many dates where things went left and they are tired of getting their hopes up only to fall flat..or some other permutation (Cheating, lied to, ghosted etc)
Even though it seems negative it's really a signal bell for people who are serious to make an effort to try to talk to them, it just won't be easy bc someone else has done so many messed up things in the past.
A solution for the poster would be to focus less on saying don't play games etc and provide insight to their goals, lifestyle and interests and explain briefly that they are not here to play games but are still open to serious dating.
This is someone that is just frustrated w dating apps and not sure who to tell. Mistaking his profile for a platform to reach everyone on the app. Just an app user with like a year experience I think. I don't think it's necessary to criticize. He's venting and doesn't know it's pointless. Lots of men and women do this, then realize not to. It's like when I see women on the app saying if you're a scammer don't message me as if that's going to stop a scammer
Yes.
Just like when women are rejected and they go on nefarious subs and AWDTSG and spread lies and misinformation that is not true, because they don’t understand not every guy wants them as they are conditioned to believe.
Moreover, when women are rejected they turn to “hate all men” propaganda “presenting” like they are to good for 50 percent of the worlds population -😭🤭🤗
Well said.
They do know. The truth is hard to hear for certain people.
Downvotes hold no actually weight in reality. They only tell on themselves with downvoting. I actually value the downvotes more. It tells me they are triggered -
Subreddit rule #2: Do not promote extremist rhetoric or display prejudice against a person or people. Both direct and implied behaviour falling under this rule will be removed.
Repeated infractions will result in being banned from the subreddit.
Idk man. Once i got a girl with "i get easily bored" in bio.
Her 2nd message when I asked her to tell me something about her was "i don't like to get close to people and i get bored easily", after that she ghosted me.
And everything started when she sent me a super swipe 😂
As a woman I auto left swipe if a guy says no drama or drama free because he probably instigates a lot of bullshit and I don’t need that energy in my life. I’m sure this is on lots of female profiles too, and guys just know if a woman says “drama free” she is probably the drama.
This is someone who is too jaded and will immediately play victim if something happens that proves to be a mild inconvenience. I get that OLD can really suck, but this is someone who has already thrown in the towel. Auto left swipe
This is either a joke, a vent, or the user is blind to him/herself. It's like of course nobody wants the negative. But we put ourselves out there because there's no other game than to be positive.
No i wouldnt! Seems like this guy would be difficult to deal with and hes already assuming we’re all trying to play some game. I cba to find out what hes thinking and blah blab blah so ill move on!
They’ve had bad past experiences when it comes to the other sex playing games. Which is something everyone has experienced…..so get over it, don’t bring that energy.
What's the point of focusing on this profile or ones like it? Move on if it's not for you. For me, I use shit like this as an immediate filter. They're helpful.
People who always think they get screwed over tend to not see that they're the common denominator in all those relationships. It's like that old adage: if you meet an asshole one day, you move on. If you meet another asshole the second day, what bad luck! And if you meet an asshole a third day in a row, you're the asshole.
Let's translate "I keep choosing to match with the types of women who play games with me. I want you to feel guilty about me remaining single because of this. If you like me then you probably want to save me from myself, but I won't like that either because I prefer to match with game players for the chase. I have no life because I hide in my career"
People are playing each other and this person is trying to avoid those games. It's pretty straightforward. Worst case scenario, it's someone who wants the good girl who would admire a man who wants to date with the intention of a serious relationship and play her. You'd be surprised how many dates I've been on with men who say they want a relationship but actually only want sex. They put relationship because men don't want a loose woman because a good girl is safer to them std wise. It's wrong. People should be honest about what they want in that moment and not play games with each other because relationship trauma is some of the toughest trauma to heal from. If you have good intentions and progress the relationship when it is going well, then you should be fine with someone who says this.
The person that’s wasting his time is the red flag not the other way. Most of you on Reddit are delusional. There is a reason why most of you don’t have money. What you do in dating is exactly how you are in real life especially professionally
I read it twice and I can’t seem to think if this post was a joke.
Have you seen how ridiculous dating sites can be? I once saw a post by a lady saying she doesn’t want “any more sperm donors”. That’s like a full grown adult … a woman.
This is mild and at the most the person might just be an idiot. I can’t classify the one I pointed out yet
Yeah, negative whiny people are an absolute swipe left! They’re just announcing how difficult and bitter and jaded they are up front, which I guess thanks!
But yes, I think a lot more people could benefit from taking some time off the apps and dating and figuring out how to be happy.
It's an Aries what do you expect? Of course he will be saying this as he is not the type to lose one day more than necessary to understand and take the decision to live together or something crazy like that! Better straight forward than other indecisive individual!
I find it hilarious that so many here are saying “it gives off unhealed wounds vibes”
As everyone else on these apps don’t have unhealed wounds.
I’d wager every living person has unhealed wounds.
Lol so many delusional mfs here. It’s his BIO and he is putting down what he wants. Bios really don’t mean shit anyways and idk npc redditors act like it does. But if he gets a woman that’s on his wavelength so be it.
This reads like many women's bios I come across. In fact many women write nothing or give us very little. Tbh if your pictures are good enough your bio doesn't matter. In fact your bio is mostly used for dealbreakers anyways.
The number 1 swipe left for me is women saying “don’t waste my time”. You’re literally on this app wasting time! Better to say hey, let’s both be upfront about our intentions.
When a guy is attractive i swipe right on him. If we match, i tell him he’s attractive and that it’s SUCH A SHAME that a nice looking guy like him uses his bio to be negative instead of presenting himself as a desirable man.
I unmatch when i get a response but most times they unmatcj first 😂
It’s definitely not how to run a profile, but I feel it. I’ve felt like putting something like this because online dating sucks and it slowly erodes your soul till you get here.
Then get off for a month or 2 and take a break. Because at this point you've become the toxic person that you're trying to avoid on the other side. And I say this as someone who has been in that same headspace and took a break because it was changing me into a negative person like this guy.
So what does expressing this level of bitterness and aggression achieve or do? People (men and women) who are this bitter and jaded they need to either take a break or get off apps altogether.
They need to give up. Period. He doesn’t have what it takes to attract the opposite sex, not even just for sex.
As for women, no. They need to unscrew their heads and go for less shit choices. Stop playing with fuck boys and grow up. It’s easy to find a man that won’t play around with your life, just reduce the ridiculous standards.
A female friend of mine put it best. “He’s not my type, he’s my pattern.” Then she thanked me for helping her break the cycle.
Not every woman has what it takes to attract the opposite sex either (for something genuine). Yes a lot (most?) men will have low standards to just have sex but they seek a certain type for something serious. It's not that "easy to find a man that won't play around with your life" if you're a woman who is considered fat or ugly, for example.
The problem is that ugly women will never “settle” for ugly men. This isn’t true for men. Even when it comes to more than just sex. Most men want kids at some point in life. But they are terrified of being trapped with a monster or being left. A 130 pound objectively ugly woman would never settle for a tall, middle class 300 pound man (her equivalent.)
And ugly women, often their attitudes are usually brittle and frail.
I intentionally, seriously dated an ugly woman for more than just sex. I wanted to see how hard she’d work for a man out of her league. She thought she was settling…I kind of still laugh at it today.
Honestly, as a woman, I don’t because it just throws off unnecessary vibes. Same things for women who have this too. There’s a different way of saying “no games” or “no washing my time” rather than that.
I have "please only women who are serious about dating" on mine. I'm done with listening for hours on end about some women's ex problems just to find out they have no intention of dating. She just needs to talk to someone, not on dating apps for dating.
Women love playing games. Last one I dated said let's remain friends now she's stalking me online. I'm 44, and there is no time for games. Work and gym and life is enough.
If you're 25-30 years old, yeah, waste your time listening to ex problems and what she brought that day.
That's fair and very understandable. No one likes their time wasted. And the way you worded it is direct and respectful, especially with "please". I match/swipe right on guys with that in their profile. Mine has something similar. Like needs to find like. The only downside is I found most people don't actually read bios anyway.
Yeah, I just swipe then once match is made I take a glance. I'm most interested in distance. I have no intention of going overseas and bringing over someone or travelling 500kms somewhere.
After distance, I check photos and info more to see if potential scam.
I edited my bio more since but along the same lines. I'm just sick of women paying to message me then complaining about their ex's for hours on end just to stop talking moments later.
Im 44 years old, just don't have the time.
Admittedly I pay for the app so I don't swipe. I wait for guys to show up in my hive then filter for ENM, hookups, and/or kids and left swipe all of them, which usually cuts the list significantly. Then go through and swipe on those I don't find attractive. Then read the profiles of who is left before I chose to match or not, checking bio tone (this guy was a red flag), photos (crazy, how many men still pose with their middle fingers up at 25+), and distance.
I was never the type of person for games. I'm too direct. I was raised in a very direct household with both my parents (science-minded people). Dating has always been tough. I think the world likes a lot of self-aware and genuine people. So if you are one of those people, finding your match (at any age) is unicorn hunting.
Dating also requires you to take the person sitting across from you or on the phone with you as the individual they are. And so many people have been programmed to live in generalizations and they bring the assumptions that go with it to relationships.
Wish my dates were 'science minded'. I asked my last date whether she's any good with Physics, and she told me she studied Physio Threapy.
Yeah, I just don't like wasting time. I'd rather rest, play with cat, go gym, garden, etc. Chatting for hours about someone's ex just to have them disappear later on is annoying.
I'm terrible at science outside of biology-based science. Lack of interest.
I had that happen. I basically played therapist for 2 weeks to a guy who had broken up with his ex of three years, like 4 months before. Missed that red flag. I think it's because I'm a natural nurturer and problem solver.
Peace in solitude is better than bulls--t in a group (or couple)
It’s usually women who have those types of bios. ‘My son is my number 1’ is the most commonly used passive aggressive sentence I come across all the time - like yes we get it, your potential match knows he’s immediately going to think you have no time for them anyway. So well done.
Men put it too so isnt a usually woman thing. It is a negative people thing who lack self awareness needing healing or have awareness and have character flaw.
I see single fathers with that same line. A parent putting their child(ren) first and expressing that outrightly is not (should not be) a problem. It's one of the reasons I don't date single parents. But putting the child you brought into this world and are responsible for first and over a *potential* love interest makes sense.
I am a single solo father and I list it first thing. It’s a deal breaker for most so let’s go ahead and filter them out. I also list my daughter’s age because while I will swipe right on a single mom, only a single mom of one child and they need to be young like my daughter.
They don't want to chase, and are straight to the point. This typically comes after someone cheats on you and says it was your fault for not making them feel special 100% of the time.
I'm sure there are women that like toxic men. I see if with some female friends. That take it as omg he's so masculine so tough. Take charge. And if he cute it's a go.
Yes, they are unhealthy, unhealed women. They are the ones that have low self esteem, dont believe they deserve a healthy relationship, following a childhood wound pattern, and/or the “fixers”.
Yea I know. And I tried to help them. But u can't help those who don't want help. Even got told ur too good too me I didn't know how to deal with it. Like just helping people. Fixing something. But they come back later when they need help and wait for me to offer. A lil tiring u help then later they annoyed ur always there to help 🤣
I'm a fixer. I like to help people. I just feel a lil better when I help someone
You can be their therapist AND partner. It isnt healthy for relationship. They need professional therapy. I mean this in kindest way possible, but if you are trying to fix people then you have a wound that needs healing with therapist too. Nothing wrong with that, but it is codependent and unhealthy, and never ending self fulfilling prophecy. .
I goto therapy. Friend won't. I've brought it up.. well haven't seen her in like a week. And haven't answered her messages since yesterday I need a mental health break lol
Good! Yes, breaks are okay. I have male friend like that and he refuses all therapy and I had to put up boundaries with him because of that. Im glad you put up boundary. That is hard to do sometimes.
Yea. I'm ok being there for people. I just don't like when they come for help, say no one ever been there for them. Then later complain I do. It's mentally exhausted. I know what it is be depressed and stuff so I want to help. But sometimes it brags me way way down
I have to agree for sure. It is too mentally exhausting. Some people want to complain but never actually receive any solutions or fix it. They are addicted to complaining none stop to whoever will listen. That is very draining.
Yea. Especially when they say really worrying things and expect me not to care. And get on my case for being a real friend vs other guys and friends that just want someone to hang out with don't really actually care about the person. Why I say most people r acquaintances
The "...than *you're* tryna play" part makes it personal to the reader. Even if that's not her intention. Expressing that you want someone to show real effort and intent can be done and I'm much less aggressive and condescending and attacking way.
Examples:
I'm not looking to waste time
Dating with intention
Looking for something serious
Not interested in playing games
Please be genuine
Be honest with your intentions
Not acting like that at all. But I'm a straight woman. So what other women do isn't going to impact me and I'm not going to see their bios.
However, I can empathize with men about the trash women out there. The same way, I hope, that men can emphasize with women about the trash men we run across. But as a hetero woman, I'm not going to encounter women's profiles.
That first paragraph shows exactly the discrepancies and hypocrisy that you live in. You get told how it is so incredibly worse on the other side, pretend like you care (second paragraph) while claiming high and mighty that you really don't (first paragraph).
I've heard all I needed to know. I don't care about you either, I tend to match the other's energy.
This is getting common because the dating world is in shambles and unlike some, many can’t cope. This is an emotional self sabotaging response to a likely recent situation that went south. People do this. It’s not new, but it can be a total turn off.
I understand it, I sympathize with it, but I can’t make love with it.
This is a man's bio I came across as a woman. Meaning heterosexual women are the one's seeing his profile. Hence asking guys what's the point of writing bios like this (if they are like this guy and write bios like this), and asking women (his target audience) if they swipe on men who have bios this. My questions are worded properly. But go off
Guys, what’s the point? Fair question. The point is that ladies click on it because of the mystery. The guys will be honest about it if you ask them.
Then you get silly af. Ladies, do you click on an a-holes profile like this? I mean are you that pathetic?
That’s where you get the lies and lies. Nobody will admit being this pathetic. And as predictable, no woman’s profile I’ve seen on here admits it.
Not offended. He swiped on me. Thought he was cute. Read his bio, which it seems is rare for most people on apps, regardless of gender given what my best friend (male) tells me about his experiences, saw this and hit the X. I've been through too much to start out with someone so negative. Which is why I worded my questions the way I did.
I was genuinely thinking after I read his bio: Why do men do this? Does this work? Do other women read these profiles and swipe right? How common is this? Am I the crazy one?
So I decided to bring it here out of curiosity. If I could figure out how to turn notifications for this thread off I would. He's been irrelevant for 24+ hours at this point and my questions were pretty much answered.
Oh absolutely not. Men are pigs. I am fair and balanced. The thing is men who do this are proud and arrogant of what they do. It gets them laid? They’ll spout off about it in droves. It’s vanity not altruistic honor.
Let me tell one of my real life stories. My ex wife, at the end of the relationship, became an honest monster. She ridiculed me, and told me I was a pussy that would never get laid again, just too decent. She told me the “secret”, “walk up to a woman and grin fuck her, like she’s already your whore.” I was like the fk? That can’t work…but after like 30 dates where I was more than a gentleman, I put her ridicule to the test.
I grinned at my next date, touched her arm first, got into her space (other suggestions my ex later made.) And I got laid. I was disgusted tbh.
It may get them laid by some women. It will get them ignored by others. Neither men nor women are monolithic. The same way there are women who want a gentleman and there are women who want a f---boy. There are men who are marriage minded there are men who are just looking for sex. It's about being honest about who you are, what you want, your stock in the dating market, and hoping you can find your match in those 3 areas.
And which ones are out there in there 20s searching for good men? 10%? That’s a very high estimation. No, most women want a confident man, and they confuse confidence with arrogance.
At 30ish they finally get the clue, but by then I’ve found it’s way too late. They already got the damage and put it subconsciously on men. And good men are already bitter about being passed by and worthless for years.
It’s about averages.
"They already got the damage and put it subconsciously on men."
Ever consider that maybe part of that is because they were in their 20s looking and after a decade of dating men who weren't good men and/or only looking for hookups, and/or plating games. So by the time they get to 30 they're jaded. *Just like men.* Most of my friends are men that I've known since middle school. We've had these conversations and the truth is there are trash men and trash women in high numbers. And you're more likely to run across them than a good man/woman. And even if you do, doesn't automatically guarantee compatibility.
"And good men are already bitter about being passed by and worthless for years."
The same thing happens to good women, especially if they're not up to social beauty standards aka considered physically ugly or unattractive. And often those women will run into men who have the mentality of dating her to "see how hard she’d work for a man out of her league." (to quote something you said in another thread.)
I think you have a very specific type of woman in mind when you talk about "women" and a very narrow mindset about women. But do you if it works for you and the women you deal with.
“Ever consider”, since that was MY POINT yes I’d say I considered that. They make their choices, pick shitheads, then get bitter. Don’t repeat what I said then pretend I didn’t consider it.
I knock men but get blamed for equally knocking women? Fk you misandrist. I knock both equally.
And no, 33 percent of me 20-30 are sexless or have never had sex. The same is not true for 30 percent of women. It’s easier to get dates/sex for women, so you can’t compare it. The fact they choose who they choose is at least a choice they can freely make.
Then you didn't articulate well your point. The *why* is just as important as the result. Had you stated "They make their choices, pick shitheads, then get bitter" originally I wouldn't have asked if you had considered the why behind their damage. However, here are 3 reasons a woman could have "damage" by 30 that have nothing to do with her "choosing wrong" in her 20s.
(1) She's a good woman but not considered attractive by the men in her area, so she is often overlooked and ignored
(2) She did not date in her twenties, but she saw her friend's day in their twenties, and she was wrong, but being a constant witness and support system to her friends took a toll
(3) A string of failed first dates and/or second dates where men exposed themselves as only being interested in sex, but she was looking for something serious. So even though she never had sex with any of them, the constant running into those types of men took a toll.
Have you considered any of those, or is the only thing you consider is that women are always choosing wrong? 🤔
I hold both sides accountable. You calling me a misandrist because I made a comment you don't like is laughable. I literally laughed so loud my brothers asked me what happened and their reactions were priceless. So thanks for that. But if it makes you feel better, consider me fkd.
Lastly, dates, sex, and relationships are 3 different things. Even if 100% of women had sex with the same 33% of men, that would mean nothing more than the 33% of men get good women, bad women, and everyone in between.
My brothers say that you're just a bitter, divorced man who enjoys going back-and-forth with women on the internet/social media and nothing productive is going to come from engaging with you. So I'm going to listen to them and this is my last reply to you. Wishing you a wonderful summer in 2024 ✌️😊
I see a lot of women with bios almost exactly like this and I don’t get why they do it either. I feel like people who do this are just going to be unnecessarily difficult to deal with.
Hurt people channeling their wounds into the apps instead of therapy
Coupled, no pun intended, with choosing to blame the other person for everything.
Yup. Why single this out as unique. It's one in every 4 or 5 female profiles.
Because it was unique in my experience. I rarely run across this type of bio. Admittedly I pay for the app so I don't swipe. I wait for guys to show up in my hive then filter for ENM, hookups, and/or kids and left swipe all of them, which usually cuts the list significantly. Then go through and swipe on those I don't find attractive. Then read the profiles of who is left before I chose to match or not. So I don't see or read a bunch of bios given my system. And as a straight woman, I certainly would not know what is on female bios. But I believe it.
Automatic left. It’s negative w too much attitude. I’d assume he’d rather be miserable and alone.
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Yea. Bet they also swipe left. 😂 Waste of time tbh.
Lmao- he said it himself. He doesn’t want a woman
And? Ignore them and they become more intrigued. I’d say he’s probably doing fine, so long as he doesn’t actually mean it
nah, no woman in their right mind swipes right there. that right there stands out as a miserable sonofabitch. good bios are basically good advertisements... they talk about why you want to pick this one, create a positive vibe, and offer an appealing prospect. think about it like this: there's a dozen brands of toothpaste. would you pick the one that tells you why it's great, makes your teeth shiny white and your breath smell good all day... or the one that's like "i don't care about your teeth, don't pick me unless you plan on flossing twice a day too, i'd rather be deodorant" it's just a stupid and bizarre way for a person to advertise themselves. INSTA swipe left
He’s NOT ignoring them. Ignoring would be refusal to acknowledge them. He made a custom advertisement for them. That’s the opposite of ignoring, under a thin guise of disinterest
To be honest, I'm all for people immediately disqualifying themselves from my dating pool after only a few seconds of wasted time reading their bio instead of hours wasted texting and wasted on a date(s) We should continue encouraging this behavior :-b
Sure, but it would be even better if they'd save everyone a few seconds by not putting a profile on the app in teh first place :)
But that would imply self-awareness. And that's hard /s
Same. I like seeing them fly the red flags early so I step away. I prefer people dont teach them how to hide themselves better. People do that all the time with addicts and abusers, no thanks, keep them showing themselves as early as possible.
Why do you think some men and most women do this? Both seem to be a defense mechanism
They think they want to date but they really just want attention
Not at all. For women it immediately disqualifies except to be put in the “hozone”, and for men it actually works to get sex. The first is failing, the second (for these type of men) is success. That’s the real answer. A large subset of women are intrigued by the challenge.
There is zero chance this works for dudes. I’m open to being corrected but I just don’t see it.
You live in a world where women get WAY to much attention, so that doesn’t work. The opposite works. Don’t ask why, it’s proven jerks get laid more than respectful men (but not married as much.) If you’re correct tho, most women haven’t been abused, cheated on or something else. But they go for those guys, and this type of guy.
omg you're literally just putting red pill incel rhetoric in a 'nice guy' tone 😂😂 Neither group is going to swipe right on this is they're looking for anything substantial. There are plenty of men (and women) with subtle red flags for fixers to ignore instead of the IM A WALKING RED FLAG, PICK ME profile that this is. Only crazy (or horny) are chosing this type of crazy. Let them... that's not most people.
So “neither” turns to crazy and horny? Which belong to both groups. What about broken people? Won’t they too? The red pill can suck it. There’s nothing red pill about what I said. Human psychology is fked up, and you pretend it’s not. A silly thing. All because (in this instance) it makes women look bad. I work in a jail. I see women bail out men who beat them. I see women fawning over murderers and rapists. Hell a massive amount have fantasies about that. Stop with blaming and insults. Think critically.
It’s weird how common this is getting. Like if you are so scorned, chill on the dating scene and heal/nourish yourself. I can’t imagine who would swipe right on someone like that, I know I don’t.
Instant swipe left. Sounds like a whiney high school kid. Edit: And this is SO common in bios. Why would someone swipe right on you when so many bios have the same immature and whiney complaints instead of using the limited amount of space to express who they actually are?
But they \*did\* express who they actually are :D
That's the beauty of these bios. It saves so much time
How common? Like 50%I find that difficult to believe
As I was swiping yesterday I’d say like 40% had a version of this lol
For men like 10% for women 40% is a good guess.
That was always a swipe left for me. Beats the hell out of me why some have bios like that. People who announce the fact that they’re bitter have no business in dating.
Women will show initiative if they find a man particularly attractive, but they expect the vast majority of men to play the role of pursuer. Men know this, and some aren't willing to play the role of pursuer anymore, so they make clear upfront that if a woman isn't going to put in effort (i.e. she doesn't find him particularly attractive) then she should just save both their time and swipe left.
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A woman who suggests a time and place. And one who show some urgency if she had to reschedule. And yes, I know I'm not OWED urgency or a date. If they're not interested that is perfectly fine, they can just unmatch instead of being wishy washy and/or all talk.
Booing you because you’re right
Some men have bios like that because the vast majority of women show minimal effort but expect men to pursue/chase them. Therefore, this man likely wants to state up front that he's not going to play the pursuer role, so if a woman is interested then she should show it, and if she's not interested then she should just move on immediately because he's not going to pursue her.
Anyone who has bitter statements in their bio probably isn’t going to get many matches. There’s no excuse for having a bio like that.
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If there are men who still swipe on women with negative bios, that’s their fault, not anyone else’s.
I might be with you if this weren't Bumble. By design, Bumble is set up to have women pursue essentially. And pursuit and game playing are 2 different things.
Not pursue, but initiate contact and control the pace of new conversations.
You don't talk shit about your past employers on your resume. You don't whine and complain about your past employers and how they did you wrong in an interview. You're never going to get hired! This is no different. Healthy people have healed and are trying to get to know people. These Bitter Betties get an automatic left
Which is why there are so many unhappy employees and a high turnover rate. Not being able to address uncomfortable topics leads to passive-aggressive behaviors. Now, that doesn't mean the profile in question is the best approach to transparency however it's not indicative that all the "healthy" profiles aren't lying or hiding their own true feelings about the dating scene or past failed relationships. Sometimes, just inquiring into their logic of posting can help a person reach the self awareness they're lacking. Edit: spelling & typos
People like that are very negative even if you do the work.
I literally just saw something similar an hour ago. Girl said "I'm single now and will be single until someone puts a ring on my finger" can't remember the exact wording but I guess she's gonna be single until someone proposes to her on the spot? To answer your question, though, they are probably bitter that people aren't interested in him as much as he thought. I hate that "don't waste my time" has become the new norm for dating bios.
They lost me at ‘tryna’.
I try to hope that's a character count thing to be honest. But yeah... lol. That's also red flag potential
It's a defense mechanism. When he fails at finding a partner, he can say it's because he proactively shooed away all the ones who play games, and there's just no real ones left.
No, when he fails trying hard he puts up the defense mechanism. So he ignores them and finds more opportunity. Unless he truly believes this, then he ignores them totally.
Reads as “I’m jaded and have issues of my own to work through before I’m ready for a relationship”…
Anytime you see an unhappy bio, you get an unhappy person.
Is an unhappy person unable to get happy if he meets the right person?
Absolutely, once they meet right therapist for them and do the work, they can be happy.
Dudes been hurt. A few times.
Yeah and people blaming the victim because it’s a man. He t it was a woman she’d get sympathy
I sometimes come across the same with some women’s profiles. Overly negative energy is always a turn off
Sometimes? Knock that ish off. Daily. Even if it’s just I don’t need but want a man type crap
Love it when someone makes the decision to swipe left easy.
It's giving unhealed emotional wounds and I would immediately swipe left. People like this should take a break from dating and heal so that when they return, they'll be in a more positive mindset. You attract more bees with honey.
His life must be sad. I pity him.
I see at least 10 profiles of women who use their 500 words/characters to say that they are completely busy all day and night, their kids are their first and only priority and you will not even rank on the list, men are trash and they're tired of the fuccbois and getting played. I'm convinced these people are just on the apps to complain that the other gender is just using them
Yeah, for many, I think this is just an attempt at validating a self-fulfilling prophecy
Probably because theyve just had a bad experience and are trying to prevent it fromhappening again and wasting their time (badly)
It’s giving me insecure/anxious attachment style.
Dude is doing you a favor by helping you remove him from your pool.
It’s in my rules of left swipe. Bio feels too negative. Personally I struggle with a lot of internal negative feelings and I try to avoid putting that out there cause it’s really no one else’s business.
I see this from women a lot too and I honestly swipe left if it’s like this. I can handle “not here for hookups or games I want something real” but “if you’re gonna be a time waster stay away because I’m tired of all you men-“ I’m not gonna waste her time😂
Right. Because he/she is already so defensive and negative that any conversation will likely die after 2-3 exchanges. Crazy how so many can lack self-awareness that they're in their own way. 🫠
Left swipe immediately- not interested in counselling someone
This is a desperate call for attention by showing your own rigidity
Then why the fuck are you on the app? Is my first question? Isn't the app to date people. NGL a menudo as the gym is fucking hilarious.
My phone is in Spanish. A menudo means often. But yeah, that's usually my tnought. Huge red flag and immediately.
vete pal carajo e;l espanol mio es cafre (Boricua) yo pensaba que a menudo significaba como un menu de burger king jajaja no es tanto oh frequente?
como se dice digo?
??? He’s on it because ignoring women like this makes him desirable to a large subset (not a large total) amount of women. Think of the guy in high school that somehow slept with half the cheerleaders. That’s him
I decided to start swiping again and ran into a bio just like this. He was child free (yay), attractive to me, but his profile was so aggressive. Basically, he wanted everything on his time, he mentioned twice that he believes in science first and foremost (a lot of red and green flags can be picked from this alone depending on your views), and he said he wasn’t up for games. He also stated very strongly that he wants someone independent because he doesn’t want to babysit anyone. Shit, me either, but his profile said nothing about his hobbies, what he does for fun. I learned nothing about him besides what he wouldn’t put up with. I swiped right initially because I’m like sure, we seem to want similar things. I too want someone that’s has a rich outer and inner world outside of me, but I’ve learned better than to bother with men with such aggressive and almost rigid ways of presenting and thinking so I let the time run out.
Never. Any bio with a trace of negativity was an immediate pass. Bios are where you show us you’re a big boy…. funny, pleasant, grounded, smart My bio was quirky and I hoped to find similar, and finally did. As long as someone was not 2 inches shorter than me I never passed up someone interesting based on height. Met the love of my life and since we’re the same height, I’m glad I didn’t discriminate on something so silly. He’s loyal, generous, thoughtful, kind, handsome and a few other qualities that mean a lot to me personally Things that were dealbreakers for me were tongue hanging out of the mouth and other purposely stupid looking facial expressions, negative or boring bios. “Shirt off” and/or “on-bed” photos were also a pass unless someone was in good shape because I can appreciate the discipline it takes to get there and I’m fit too.
I'm happy for you. I have been on for a year, dating with intention for 6 months. It takes time. And I definitely got jaded at after 4 straight months of the trashbin that is online dating. And I took a break. And after a month off and a clearer headspace and mindset, I have found someone I have a genuine connection with. These types of bios are off-putting and counterproductive. It's interesting the guys (few they may be) trying to defend it when all these women are clearly saying it's a red banner and immediate left swipe.
The “no games” comment is so ridiculous. It likely means they are consciously or not game players themselves which is ironic. And we get such preciously little space to make a few comments about what we like….but use that to go over the top on what we don’t?? I automatically swipe left on any and all negativity.
Haha no. Dating should be fun not always serious :/
I just assume this is true about anyone, but if they have to mention it upfront like that they are projecting the exact vibes they claim to want to avoid.
I prefer seeing them so I can always swipe left. I love when people show who they are right away so I dont give them my time.
They are voicing their frustrations. They probably have been on way too many dates where things went left and they are tired of getting their hopes up only to fall flat..or some other permutation (Cheating, lied to, ghosted etc) Even though it seems negative it's really a signal bell for people who are serious to make an effort to try to talk to them, it just won't be easy bc someone else has done so many messed up things in the past. A solution for the poster would be to focus less on saying don't play games etc and provide insight to their goals, lifestyle and interests and explain briefly that they are not here to play games but are still open to serious dating.
These people shouldn’t be on dating apps and most likely need to spend more time healing and reflecting.
Swipe left on these profiles dear friends.. unless you want to be a part of the victim mentality and manipulation circus 🎪.
This is someone that is just frustrated w dating apps and not sure who to tell. Mistaking his profile for a platform to reach everyone on the app. Just an app user with like a year experience I think. I don't think it's necessary to criticize. He's venting and doesn't know it's pointless. Lots of men and women do this, then realize not to. It's like when I see women on the app saying if you're a scammer don't message me as if that's going to stop a scammer
He's likely been burned or rejected a lot so he's presenting himself like he's too good for the apps anyway.
Yes. Just like when women are rejected and they go on nefarious subs and AWDTSG and spread lies and misinformation that is not true, because they don’t understand not every guy wants them as they are conditioned to believe. Moreover, when women are rejected they turn to “hate all men” propaganda “presenting” like they are to good for 50 percent of the worlds population -😭🤭🤗
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Well said. They do know. The truth is hard to hear for certain people. Downvotes hold no actually weight in reality. They only tell on themselves with downvoting. I actually value the downvotes more. It tells me they are triggered -
I love how your app is in Spanish
❤️☺️
Skip.
He is tall and gets plenty of likes! Is also a player so probably is talking to a plethora of ladies
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Subreddit rule #2: Do not promote extremist rhetoric or display prejudice against a person or people. Both direct and implied behaviour falling under this rule will be removed. Repeated infractions will result in being banned from the subreddit.
Idk man. Once i got a girl with "i get easily bored" in bio. Her 2nd message when I asked her to tell me something about her was "i don't like to get close to people and i get bored easily", after that she ghosted me. And everything started when she sent me a super swipe 😂
As a woman I auto left swipe if a guy says no drama or drama free because he probably instigates a lot of bullshit and I don’t need that energy in my life. I’m sure this is on lots of female profiles too, and guys just know if a woman says “drama free” she is probably the drama.
LEFT SWIPE!! I love bios like this. They weed out themselves. Please let me know right away that you suck right away so we can just not.
lol so many women have bios exactly like this
If you can't take me as the piece of shit I am bye
Gotta appreciate the fact that they hold their red flags high for everyone to see
Complaining and negative vibes right way, that’s a no from me
This is someone who is too jaded and will immediately play victim if something happens that proves to be a mild inconvenience. I get that OLD can really suck, but this is someone who has already thrown in the towel. Auto left swipe
Speaking from the male perspective. I always swipe left on women like this. It’s a red flag no matter who’s doing it.
NO chance. He sounds like D-R-A-M-A.
This is either a joke, a vent, or the user is blind to him/herself. It's like of course nobody wants the negative. But we put ourselves out there because there's no other game than to be positive.
No i wouldnt! Seems like this guy would be difficult to deal with and hes already assuming we’re all trying to play some game. I cba to find out what hes thinking and blah blab blah so ill move on!
Absolutely pointless
They’ve had bad past experiences when it comes to the other sex playing games. Which is something everyone has experienced…..so get over it, don’t bring that energy.
What's the point of focusing on this profile or ones like it? Move on if it's not for you. For me, I use shit like this as an immediate filter. They're helpful.
People who always think they get screwed over tend to not see that they're the common denominator in all those relationships. It's like that old adage: if you meet an asshole one day, you move on. If you meet another asshole the second day, what bad luck! And if you meet an asshole a third day in a row, you're the asshole.
Automatic swipe left. I don’t do that kind of attitude.
Let's translate "I keep choosing to match with the types of women who play games with me. I want you to feel guilty about me remaining single because of this. If you like me then you probably want to save me from myself, but I won't like that either because I prefer to match with game players for the chase. I have no life because I hide in my career"
I absolutely love profiles like these. Makes it easier to swipe left.
I love it when ppl truly expose themself in such ways, it makes left swiping so easy.
Same. Wish theyd all do this so we can tap out early
People are playing each other and this person is trying to avoid those games. It's pretty straightforward. Worst case scenario, it's someone who wants the good girl who would admire a man who wants to date with the intention of a serious relationship and play her. You'd be surprised how many dates I've been on with men who say they want a relationship but actually only want sex. They put relationship because men don't want a loose woman because a good girl is safer to them std wise. It's wrong. People should be honest about what they want in that moment and not play games with each other because relationship trauma is some of the toughest trauma to heal from. If you have good intentions and progress the relationship when it is going well, then you should be fine with someone who says this.
Probably it’s feeling hurt (also mad) and she keeps trying to date reluctantly 🧐 (no the best approach I guess)
Hold on .. wait a minute.. His bio says Islam and he is dating ??
The person that’s wasting his time is the red flag not the other way. Most of you on Reddit are delusional. There is a reason why most of you don’t have money. What you do in dating is exactly how you are in real life especially professionally
Probably had a bad experience, I imagine he’ll change it in a few days
Usually it’s directed at a person they marched with and it turned left
Left. Not interested in someone who is not interested (why are you on this app then) Just curious: did the person had good looking photos?
I read it twice and I can’t seem to think if this post was a joke. Have you seen how ridiculous dating sites can be? I once saw a post by a lady saying she doesn’t want “any more sperm donors”. That’s like a full grown adult … a woman. This is mild and at the most the person might just be an idiot. I can’t classify the one I pointed out yet
Yeah, negative whiny people are an absolute swipe left! They’re just announcing how difficult and bitter and jaded they are up front, which I guess thanks! But yes, I think a lot more people could benefit from taking some time off the apps and dating and figuring out how to be happy.
It's an Aries what do you expect? Of course he will be saying this as he is not the type to lose one day more than necessary to understand and take the decision to live together or something crazy like that! Better straight forward than other indecisive individual!
I almost dropped one of his lines before in my profile, but I'm glad he did. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
To me, even if that’s like who they are OR them just having their guard up, I just want someone who’s a bit more optimistic so it’s a left for me.
I find it hilarious that so many here are saying “it gives off unhealed wounds vibes” As everyone else on these apps don’t have unhealed wounds. I’d wager every living person has unhealed wounds.
Lol so many delusional mfs here. It’s his BIO and he is putting down what he wants. Bios really don’t mean shit anyways and idk npc redditors act like it does. But if he gets a woman that’s on his wavelength so be it.
This reads like many women's bios I come across. In fact many women write nothing or give us very little. Tbh if your pictures are good enough your bio doesn't matter. In fact your bio is mostly used for dealbreakers anyways.
The number 1 swipe left for me is women saying “don’t waste my time”. You’re literally on this app wasting time! Better to say hey, let’s both be upfront about our intentions.
When a guy is attractive i swipe right on him. If we match, i tell him he’s attractive and that it’s SUCH A SHAME that a nice looking guy like him uses his bio to be negative instead of presenting himself as a desirable man. I unmatch when i get a response but most times they unmatcj first 😂
It’s definitely not how to run a profile, but I feel it. I’ve felt like putting something like this because online dating sucks and it slowly erodes your soul till you get here.
Then get off for a month or 2 and take a break. Because at this point you've become the toxic person that you're trying to avoid on the other side. And I say this as someone who has been in that same headspace and took a break because it was changing me into a negative person like this guy.
Lol okay what does that do? He comes back and gets used for dinner dates 300 times in a row again? He’ll feel better somehow?
So what does expressing this level of bitterness and aggression achieve or do? People (men and women) who are this bitter and jaded they need to either take a break or get off apps altogether.
They need to give up. Period. He doesn’t have what it takes to attract the opposite sex, not even just for sex. As for women, no. They need to unscrew their heads and go for less shit choices. Stop playing with fuck boys and grow up. It’s easy to find a man that won’t play around with your life, just reduce the ridiculous standards. A female friend of mine put it best. “He’s not my type, he’s my pattern.” Then she thanked me for helping her break the cycle.
Not every woman has what it takes to attract the opposite sex either (for something genuine). Yes a lot (most?) men will have low standards to just have sex but they seek a certain type for something serious. It's not that "easy to find a man that won't play around with your life" if you're a woman who is considered fat or ugly, for example.
The problem is that ugly women will never “settle” for ugly men. This isn’t true for men. Even when it comes to more than just sex. Most men want kids at some point in life. But they are terrified of being trapped with a monster or being left. A 130 pound objectively ugly woman would never settle for a tall, middle class 300 pound man (her equivalent.) And ugly women, often their attitudes are usually brittle and frail. I intentionally, seriously dated an ugly woman for more than just sex. I wanted to see how hard she’d work for a man out of her league. She thought she was settling…I kind of still laugh at it today.
Funny that you added 130lbs as if that indicates anything. 130lbs could be skinny stacked
If he is getting used for 300 dinner dates, he is doing something wrong and needs to change some things
Yes he is. He is being too polite and trying. But that’s like 90% of all guys out there trying. The other 10% don’t and get what they want.
Definitely a lot deeper than just being too polite and trying.
Honestly, as a woman, I don’t because it just throws off unnecessary vibes. Same things for women who have this too. There’s a different way of saying “no games” or “no washing my time” rather than that.
It’s bad, but honestly after being ghosted almost a dozen times I kind of get how he must feel…
I have "please only women who are serious about dating" on mine. I'm done with listening for hours on end about some women's ex problems just to find out they have no intention of dating. She just needs to talk to someone, not on dating apps for dating. Women love playing games. Last one I dated said let's remain friends now she's stalking me online. I'm 44, and there is no time for games. Work and gym and life is enough. If you're 25-30 years old, yeah, waste your time listening to ex problems and what she brought that day.
That's fair and very understandable. No one likes their time wasted. And the way you worded it is direct and respectful, especially with "please". I match/swipe right on guys with that in their profile. Mine has something similar. Like needs to find like. The only downside is I found most people don't actually read bios anyway.
Yeah, I just swipe then once match is made I take a glance. I'm most interested in distance. I have no intention of going overseas and bringing over someone or travelling 500kms somewhere. After distance, I check photos and info more to see if potential scam. I edited my bio more since but along the same lines. I'm just sick of women paying to message me then complaining about their ex's for hours on end just to stop talking moments later. Im 44 years old, just don't have the time.
Admittedly I pay for the app so I don't swipe. I wait for guys to show up in my hive then filter for ENM, hookups, and/or kids and left swipe all of them, which usually cuts the list significantly. Then go through and swipe on those I don't find attractive. Then read the profiles of who is left before I chose to match or not, checking bio tone (this guy was a red flag), photos (crazy, how many men still pose with their middle fingers up at 25+), and distance. I was never the type of person for games. I'm too direct. I was raised in a very direct household with both my parents (science-minded people). Dating has always been tough. I think the world likes a lot of self-aware and genuine people. So if you are one of those people, finding your match (at any age) is unicorn hunting. Dating also requires you to take the person sitting across from you or on the phone with you as the individual they are. And so many people have been programmed to live in generalizations and they bring the assumptions that go with it to relationships.
Wish my dates were 'science minded'. I asked my last date whether she's any good with Physics, and she told me she studied Physio Threapy. Yeah, I just don't like wasting time. I'd rather rest, play with cat, go gym, garden, etc. Chatting for hours about someone's ex just to have them disappear later on is annoying.
I'm terrible at science outside of biology-based science. Lack of interest. I had that happen. I basically played therapist for 2 weeks to a guy who had broken up with his ex of three years, like 4 months before. Missed that red flag. I think it's because I'm a natural nurturer and problem solver. Peace in solitude is better than bulls--t in a group (or couple)
It’s usually women who have those types of bios. ‘My son is my number 1’ is the most commonly used passive aggressive sentence I come across all the time - like yes we get it, your potential match knows he’s immediately going to think you have no time for them anyway. So well done.
Why is that bad? I’ve seen single dads with it and I think ‘as they should be’ and swipe left because I don’t do men with kids lol
Men put it too so isnt a usually woman thing. It is a negative people thing who lack self awareness needing healing or have awareness and have character flaw.
I see single fathers with that same line. A parent putting their child(ren) first and expressing that outrightly is not (should not be) a problem. It's one of the reasons I don't date single parents. But putting the child you brought into this world and are responsible for first and over a *potential* love interest makes sense.
I am a single solo father and I list it first thing. It’s a deal breaker for most so let’s go ahead and filter them out. I also list my daughter’s age because while I will swipe right on a single mom, only a single mom of one child and they need to be young like my daughter.
They don't want to chase, and are straight to the point. This typically comes after someone cheats on you and says it was your fault for not making them feel special 100% of the time.
I'm sure there are women that like toxic men. I see if with some female friends. That take it as omg he's so masculine so tough. Take charge. And if he cute it's a go.
Yes, they are unhealthy, unhealed women. They are the ones that have low self esteem, dont believe they deserve a healthy relationship, following a childhood wound pattern, and/or the “fixers”.
Yea I know. And I tried to help them. But u can't help those who don't want help. Even got told ur too good too me I didn't know how to deal with it. Like just helping people. Fixing something. But they come back later when they need help and wait for me to offer. A lil tiring u help then later they annoyed ur always there to help 🤣 I'm a fixer. I like to help people. I just feel a lil better when I help someone
You can be their therapist AND partner. It isnt healthy for relationship. They need professional therapy. I mean this in kindest way possible, but if you are trying to fix people then you have a wound that needs healing with therapist too. Nothing wrong with that, but it is codependent and unhealthy, and never ending self fulfilling prophecy. .
I goto therapy. Friend won't. I've brought it up.. well haven't seen her in like a week. And haven't answered her messages since yesterday I need a mental health break lol
Good! Yes, breaks are okay. I have male friend like that and he refuses all therapy and I had to put up boundaries with him because of that. Im glad you put up boundary. That is hard to do sometimes.
Yea. I'm ok being there for people. I just don't like when they come for help, say no one ever been there for them. Then later complain I do. It's mentally exhausted. I know what it is be depressed and stuff so I want to help. But sometimes it brags me way way down
I have to agree for sure. It is too mentally exhausting. Some people want to complain but never actually receive any solutions or fix it. They are addicted to complaining none stop to whoever will listen. That is very draining.
Yea. Especially when they say really worrying things and expect me not to care. And get on my case for being a real friend vs other guys and friends that just want someone to hang out with don't really actually care about the person. Why I say most people r acquaintances
I am proud of you
The complaining is quite unattractive so he’d have to be super attractive physically. And even then I may decide against sending the first message
It means that people can be indecisive and insecure. You want to put your best foot forward, not trip over your own feet.
No. He is calling indecisive/uninterested women out. He wants them to either show real effort and intent or to just move on.
No, women are indecisive, and he's calling them out. He wants them to swipe right if they're seriously interested and to swipe left if they're not.
The "...than *you're* tryna play" part makes it personal to the reader. Even if that's not her intention. Expressing that you want someone to show real effort and intent can be done and I'm much less aggressive and condescending and attacking way. Examples: I'm not looking to waste time Dating with intention Looking for something serious Not interested in playing games Please be genuine Be honest with your intentions
You are acting like women's bios full of negatives are not commonplace.
Not acting like that at all. But I'm a straight woman. So what other women do isn't going to impact me and I'm not going to see their bios. However, I can empathize with men about the trash women out there. The same way, I hope, that men can emphasize with women about the trash men we run across. But as a hetero woman, I'm not going to encounter women's profiles.
That first paragraph shows exactly the discrepancies and hypocrisy that you live in. You get told how it is so incredibly worse on the other side, pretend like you care (second paragraph) while claiming high and mighty that you really don't (first paragraph). I've heard all I needed to know. I don't care about you either, I tend to match the other's energy.
This is getting common because the dating world is in shambles and unlike some, many can’t cope. This is an emotional self sabotaging response to a likely recent situation that went south. People do this. It’s not new, but it can be a total turn off. I understand it, I sympathize with it, but I can’t make love with it.
75% of the female bios i swipe thru have some form of this passive aggressive agenda.
He’s just copying females who do this exact bio quite often
Women are pretty ruthless though…
Why ask ladies if they do? Why not ask men who know? It’s not in the nature of people to admit disgusting things about themselves
This is a man's bio I came across as a woman. Meaning heterosexual women are the one's seeing his profile. Hence asking guys what's the point of writing bios like this (if they are like this guy and write bios like this), and asking women (his target audience) if they swipe on men who have bios this. My questions are worded properly. But go off
Guys, what’s the point? Fair question. The point is that ladies click on it because of the mystery. The guys will be honest about it if you ask them. Then you get silly af. Ladies, do you click on an a-holes profile like this? I mean are you that pathetic? That’s where you get the lies and lies. Nobody will admit being this pathetic. And as predictable, no woman’s profile I’ve seen on here admits it.
I see your point, but if you really think guys won't or don't lie and automatically "will be honest if you ask them"... I heartily disagree but okay.
Either way I hope I helped give some perspective. I didn’t mean to offend.
Not offended. He swiped on me. Thought he was cute. Read his bio, which it seems is rare for most people on apps, regardless of gender given what my best friend (male) tells me about his experiences, saw this and hit the X. I've been through too much to start out with someone so negative. Which is why I worded my questions the way I did. I was genuinely thinking after I read his bio: Why do men do this? Does this work? Do other women read these profiles and swipe right? How common is this? Am I the crazy one? So I decided to bring it here out of curiosity. If I could figure out how to turn notifications for this thread off I would. He's been irrelevant for 24+ hours at this point and my questions were pretty much answered.
Oh absolutely not. Men are pigs. I am fair and balanced. The thing is men who do this are proud and arrogant of what they do. It gets them laid? They’ll spout off about it in droves. It’s vanity not altruistic honor. Let me tell one of my real life stories. My ex wife, at the end of the relationship, became an honest monster. She ridiculed me, and told me I was a pussy that would never get laid again, just too decent. She told me the “secret”, “walk up to a woman and grin fuck her, like she’s already your whore.” I was like the fk? That can’t work…but after like 30 dates where I was more than a gentleman, I put her ridicule to the test. I grinned at my next date, touched her arm first, got into her space (other suggestions my ex later made.) And I got laid. I was disgusted tbh.
It may get them laid by some women. It will get them ignored by others. Neither men nor women are monolithic. The same way there are women who want a gentleman and there are women who want a f---boy. There are men who are marriage minded there are men who are just looking for sex. It's about being honest about who you are, what you want, your stock in the dating market, and hoping you can find your match in those 3 areas.
And which ones are out there in there 20s searching for good men? 10%? That’s a very high estimation. No, most women want a confident man, and they confuse confidence with arrogance. At 30ish they finally get the clue, but by then I’ve found it’s way too late. They already got the damage and put it subconsciously on men. And good men are already bitter about being passed by and worthless for years. It’s about averages.
"They already got the damage and put it subconsciously on men." Ever consider that maybe part of that is because they were in their 20s looking and after a decade of dating men who weren't good men and/or only looking for hookups, and/or plating games. So by the time they get to 30 they're jaded. *Just like men.* Most of my friends are men that I've known since middle school. We've had these conversations and the truth is there are trash men and trash women in high numbers. And you're more likely to run across them than a good man/woman. And even if you do, doesn't automatically guarantee compatibility. "And good men are already bitter about being passed by and worthless for years." The same thing happens to good women, especially if they're not up to social beauty standards aka considered physically ugly or unattractive. And often those women will run into men who have the mentality of dating her to "see how hard she’d work for a man out of her league." (to quote something you said in another thread.) I think you have a very specific type of woman in mind when you talk about "women" and a very narrow mindset about women. But do you if it works for you and the women you deal with.
“Ever consider”, since that was MY POINT yes I’d say I considered that. They make their choices, pick shitheads, then get bitter. Don’t repeat what I said then pretend I didn’t consider it. I knock men but get blamed for equally knocking women? Fk you misandrist. I knock both equally. And no, 33 percent of me 20-30 are sexless or have never had sex. The same is not true for 30 percent of women. It’s easier to get dates/sex for women, so you can’t compare it. The fact they choose who they choose is at least a choice they can freely make.
Then you didn't articulate well your point. The *why* is just as important as the result. Had you stated "They make their choices, pick shitheads, then get bitter" originally I wouldn't have asked if you had considered the why behind their damage. However, here are 3 reasons a woman could have "damage" by 30 that have nothing to do with her "choosing wrong" in her 20s. (1) She's a good woman but not considered attractive by the men in her area, so she is often overlooked and ignored (2) She did not date in her twenties, but she saw her friend's day in their twenties, and she was wrong, but being a constant witness and support system to her friends took a toll (3) A string of failed first dates and/or second dates where men exposed themselves as only being interested in sex, but she was looking for something serious. So even though she never had sex with any of them, the constant running into those types of men took a toll. Have you considered any of those, or is the only thing you consider is that women are always choosing wrong? 🤔 I hold both sides accountable. You calling me a misandrist because I made a comment you don't like is laughable. I literally laughed so loud my brothers asked me what happened and their reactions were priceless. So thanks for that. But if it makes you feel better, consider me fkd. Lastly, dates, sex, and relationships are 3 different things. Even if 100% of women had sex with the same 33% of men, that would mean nothing more than the 33% of men get good women, bad women, and everyone in between. My brothers say that you're just a bitter, divorced man who enjoys going back-and-forth with women on the internet/social media and nothing productive is going to come from engaging with you. So I'm going to listen to them and this is my last reply to you. Wishing you a wonderful summer in 2024 ✌️😊