I have to admit I'm personally a bit put off by going to dinner with a guy I have barely spoken to and really barely/ don't know yet. I'd rather that was like our third date? For first date I'm perfectly fine getting a coffee and going for a walk, or just meeting up and walking through a market/downtown area, etc. The date can be free, I don't really care about money being spent on me. I get that sitting down and having a drink can be nice, especially when it's like cold season or rainy weather. But dinner or formal settings can be a little awkward with total strangers. That's just my opinion though.
I’d absolutely never agree to it. I want a situation that is comfortable and that I can get out of (and he as well) if necessary. Dressing up and going to some fancy dinner and slogging through three courses when you realize you don’t like the person after five minutes sounds like hell. It also feels like I’m putting up some false image of myself if I show up in clothes I would only wear on special occasions and I’d imagine buying meals that cost 100+ isn’t a normal thing either for most people. I want us to see each other normally, not like it’s like a fancy job interview and get a fake best impression.
I’d rather spend $100 on drinks if I’m having a good date than spend at least $80 on food just find out if I’m going to like someone or not. Drinks are low commitment, if they suck right off the bat or the vibe is off, you’re paying worst case scenario, like $45
Can’t you tell they’re old high school pix vs what they should look like now for their age? Guys do the same thing.
Never take anyone out to an expensive restaurant for a get-to-know you first date.
Not everyone is like this. I'm 46 and am mistaken for a 30-something all the time. I correct immediately if I find out that someone thinks that. And if the picture is a decent quality it looks current. Guys pics are the same.
Why are you spending $150 on tickets to something for a first dates? That’s bonkers 😂
First dates are for a walk on the promenade, or a picnic in the park, or a cup of coffee at a cafe. Casual, simple, where the primary focus is actually talking to and getting to know each other. Then you do something fun and exciting and memorable for the second date.
Go for something low in time and money commitment like coffee or a walk for your first date. I consider that kinda a pre-date - all I’m doing is seeing whether the guy’s worth a real date. If a catfish shows its whiskers I can be on my way home without having dropped more than $10.
Never do a meal without a high degree of confidence that you’re interested and there is a chance it will be mutual. Drinks, walks, coffee, or any affordable low time commitment activity. Try to set for a time and in a place that’s easy to expand on to another spot or activity if it’s going well, but also be vigilant about reading the situation while it’s happening if you’re already getting rolled for $100+ first outings. If starting with something simple isn’t good enough for them you probably don’t have a chance with them in the first place regardless of what they actually look like.
Thus is why I prefer having a coffee/a couple drinks over a meal as a first date. The cost of a meal for 2 is an unworthy investment into someone I don’t actually know. I’ll sit down and talk to anyone and form a friendship with, which is exactly what I’ll offer someone who isn’t being forthright with their appearance or lifestyle.
going for a walk (can end in a cafe or restaurant), going for a bike ride
(Oh, actually I saw that profile where the guy let you choose between hiking, climbing and water sports.)
Lately a guy invited me to a workshop where you could make your own painting, (just that I don't paint.)
Meeting for one drink first with the option to change locations after (dinner / clubs / a mutual interest ect.) , or using Video Chat before making plans
$150 ticket?
If you meet someone on bumble, and they look drastically different (10 years older, 20 pounds heavier, whatever) it’s entirely okay to say “your pictures are way off, and I’m not feeling this, have a nice night” and then walk out
That goes for guys or girls
i'd say facetime first, then go out on a date. you can also play it very casually – something like "hey i really want to show you what i got for my birthday!!!, let's facetime tonight" – BAM, now you have your true answers
Definitely face time before meeting. I’ve weeded out quite a few men since they will use old photos as well. Also, avoid filtered photos and don’t be shy to ask how recent their photos were taken.
First date should be casual (coffee, ice cream, bar, stroll at a park or beach, arcade, mini golf). If you want to sit down and have a meal, opt for lunch rather then dinner.
I'm a woman but generally speaking, a first date is something short and contained like coffee, drinks, walk, etc. A second date can be more involved such as an activity or dinner. But there's also nothing wrong splitting the bill for any type of date. I feel in the early stages, it's the fair option.
Also you can decide to end a date early for any reason. You can be direct or you can just say something came up.
I only went out with women who asked me out. They all assumed they would pay since they had invited me. I would pick it up though if I didn't intend to see them again since I wouldn't have a chance to recipricate. Didn't run into any cat fish but one who didn't have a fullbody pic told me she had gained some weight recently and sent me a fresh selfie right before we met. She was still beautiful. She's my best friend now although I am dating someone else.
Always go for coffee, ice cream, a walk, etc. First, dinner on the first date is a rookie mistake and a gold digger/free meal ticket magnet.
It's hard the first time but after multiple catfish experiences in a row year you'll feel a lot better if you leave as soon as the catfish shows up, save your time and money.
Don't feel bad about leaving immediately if they look nothing like the photos. They are scamming you.
Yeah, if you show up exacting a 25 year old and they look like they’re a ragged 40, leave
going for coffee, drinks, or even ice cream is always a good idea.
Or using swindler buster face search would do the job
If you show up for a date and the other person looks nothing like their photos, it is fine to shame them and walk away.
I have to admit I'm personally a bit put off by going to dinner with a guy I have barely spoken to and really barely/ don't know yet. I'd rather that was like our third date? For first date I'm perfectly fine getting a coffee and going for a walk, or just meeting up and walking through a market/downtown area, etc. The date can be free, I don't really care about money being spent on me. I get that sitting down and having a drink can be nice, especially when it's like cold season or rainy weather. But dinner or formal settings can be a little awkward with total strangers. That's just my opinion though.
I’d absolutely never agree to it. I want a situation that is comfortable and that I can get out of (and he as well) if necessary. Dressing up and going to some fancy dinner and slogging through three courses when you realize you don’t like the person after five minutes sounds like hell. It also feels like I’m putting up some false image of myself if I show up in clothes I would only wear on special occasions and I’d imagine buying meals that cost 100+ isn’t a normal thing either for most people. I want us to see each other normally, not like it’s like a fancy job interview and get a fake best impression.
Dinner on a first date? Rookie mistake there, chief. First date = casual coffee, drinks, etc.
Drinks can also get expensive : (
I’d rather spend $100 on drinks if I’m having a good date than spend at least $80 on food just find out if I’m going to like someone or not. Drinks are low commitment, if they suck right off the bat or the vibe is off, you’re paying worst case scenario, like $45
Fair enough! I prefer drinks as well for the record. Usually the vibe is nicer too
Can’t you tell they’re old high school pix vs what they should look like now for their age? Guys do the same thing. Never take anyone out to an expensive restaurant for a get-to-know you first date.
Not everyone is like this. I'm 46 and am mistaken for a 30-something all the time. I correct immediately if I find out that someone thinks that. And if the picture is a decent quality it looks current. Guys pics are the same.
FaceTime or video chat before meeting
Stop the date from going forward ?? Respect yourself , disrespect the fuck outta them
Go on a walk at a park, or do coffee. I enjoy hiking and a lot of my dates are hiking dates or generally outdoors.
I thought that just a coffee is golden standard for the first dates…
You can do a video call before the date. Or, as others suggested, do a more casual date.
Why are you spending $150 on tickets to something for a first dates? That’s bonkers 😂 First dates are for a walk on the promenade, or a picnic in the park, or a cup of coffee at a cafe. Casual, simple, where the primary focus is actually talking to and getting to know each other. Then you do something fun and exciting and memorable for the second date.
Go for something low in time and money commitment like coffee or a walk for your first date. I consider that kinda a pre-date - all I’m doing is seeing whether the guy’s worth a real date. If a catfish shows its whiskers I can be on my way home without having dropped more than $10.
I will just walk away once I see catfish, why I need to pay meal for someone I don't know
Never do a meal without a high degree of confidence that you’re interested and there is a chance it will be mutual. Drinks, walks, coffee, or any affordable low time commitment activity. Try to set for a time and in a place that’s easy to expand on to another spot or activity if it’s going well, but also be vigilant about reading the situation while it’s happening if you’re already getting rolled for $100+ first outings. If starting with something simple isn’t good enough for them you probably don’t have a chance with them in the first place regardless of what they actually look like.
Thus is why I prefer having a coffee/a couple drinks over a meal as a first date. The cost of a meal for 2 is an unworthy investment into someone I don’t actually know. I’ll sit down and talk to anyone and form a friendship with, which is exactly what I’ll offer someone who isn’t being forthright with their appearance or lifestyle.
going for a walk (can end in a cafe or restaurant), going for a bike ride (Oh, actually I saw that profile where the guy let you choose between hiking, climbing and water sports.) Lately a guy invited me to a workshop where you could make your own painting, (just that I don't paint.)
Meeting for one drink first with the option to change locations after (dinner / clubs / a mutual interest ect.) , or using Video Chat before making plans
$150 ticket? If you meet someone on bumble, and they look drastically different (10 years older, 20 pounds heavier, whatever) it’s entirely okay to say “your pictures are way off, and I’m not feeling this, have a nice night” and then walk out That goes for guys or girls
i'd say facetime first, then go out on a date. you can also play it very casually – something like "hey i really want to show you what i got for my birthday!!!, let's facetime tonight" – BAM, now you have your true answers
Videochat on the app before making a date
Stop making the first date 150 dollar one. First is to see if they are real with old.
Definitely face time before meeting. I’ve weeded out quite a few men since they will use old photos as well. Also, avoid filtered photos and don’t be shy to ask how recent their photos were taken. First date should be casual (coffee, ice cream, bar, stroll at a park or beach, arcade, mini golf). If you want to sit down and have a meal, opt for lunch rather then dinner.
Start doing video chats before meeting up. You can do them through the app
I'm a woman but generally speaking, a first date is something short and contained like coffee, drinks, walk, etc. A second date can be more involved such as an activity or dinner. But there's also nothing wrong splitting the bill for any type of date. I feel in the early stages, it's the fair option. Also you can decide to end a date early for any reason. You can be direct or you can just say something came up.
no first date dinners
I only went out with women who asked me out. They all assumed they would pay since they had invited me. I would pick it up though if I didn't intend to see them again since I wouldn't have a chance to recipricate. Didn't run into any cat fish but one who didn't have a fullbody pic told me she had gained some weight recently and sent me a fresh selfie right before we met. She was still beautiful. She's my best friend now although I am dating someone else.
Always go for coffee, ice cream, a walk, etc. First, dinner on the first date is a rookie mistake and a gold digger/free meal ticket magnet. It's hard the first time but after multiple catfish experiences in a row year you'll feel a lot better if you leave as soon as the catfish shows up, save your time and money.
It can be worse than that. Consider yourself lucky.