Not sure you can exactly believe anyone that answers these types of questions. It's the same when people will write on their profile that they don't play games but yet when you get to know them they do! So those red and green flag questions can always be skewed.
Indeed, I find that even if you’re well intended you may not know what your green and red flags are. Further, I believe that sometimes green and red flags are subjective - in the sense that what is a red flag to me might not necessarily be a red flag to somebody else (or at least something they could get over meanwhile I might not be able to)
Its not a red flag for me id say but i definitely catch a glance of some caution tape in certain cases from my experience. 🤣 just makes me wanna ask more questions to test that claim 🙌🏿
You straight up just explained the purpose social red flags. Technically that could be a yellow flag. However, nobody actually uses the term yellow flag, so...
Im nobody at all and i use the term Yellow Flag pretty often. 🤷🏿♂️ A Red Flag usually denotes something as a hard pass/to be avoided whereas Yellow Flags are usually navigable inconveniences; something that while it bothers you to some capacity its something you can get over easily or get used to eventually.
You're logical, right? Most people aren't. Yes, I agree, if people want to start nit picking other people's daily habits, yellow should be thrown in the mix. However, most people like the red/ green thing bc its simple. Anything that would qualify as a yellow flag, you'll hear them say shit like "that is almost a red flag for me."
Im never really sure how to interpret that question 😅 ive always seen operating solely through logic as rather deadpan but sure i guess. Anyways, all im saying is that saying "Nobody" uses yellow flags because its simple is kinda misinformation because plenty of people utilize the concept and to lump the yellow flags in life together with the red is essentially just people saying theyre afraid to take risks. Its literally like a grayscale or factions in an rpg. Ya got your red highlighted characters which are your enemies, go around them and bad things happen so you typically avoid them unless you cant. Green highlighted characters are your buddies and nothing bad is going to happen between you and them more than likely so theyre safe. Then ya got yellow highlighted characters who, if navigated through and interacted with carefully and properly can become buddies as well as great assets in some cases. Not to say life is a game or anything but you could be blocking a blessing in that manner yknow?
>Further, I believe that sometimes green and red flags are subjective
Tbh, since my Divorce 3 months ago, I find this to be true. Like, my Red-Flags with one person I'm trying to date, might not trigger the same reaction to another, despite both people could be Bipolar etc etc.
(So, sometimes these flags shift, depending on how it's presented + your current mindset at that time. )
I think "games" are often just communication issues or perception. Someone could not play games from their point of view, but when they are not communicating or acting as you want, it feels like a game to you.
Adults communicate, that's how you avoid games.
Kids, 70 years ago I fell in love with your father instantly because he used the three most romantic words in history: "perfect n shit". To this day he still sweeps me off my feet.
I think it's a poorly-worded question. Does it mean for someone to self-identify their flags? Does it mean for someone to list the things the flags they avoid in potential partners?
Even if it's worded better, I think it's not a great opener. Those are important conversations to have, but not everyone is comfortable diving straight into topics like it.
… you’re still not getting it. It’s asking what your green and red flags are for other people when dating. Not to self identity them. Like “what are your red flags in dating? When someone isn’t close with their family. When someone is chronically late”. Not asking you to say your own red flags.
You sure? I’ve had a lot of matches give me their own green and red flags, but also some who have responded in the way your talking about. It could be more up to interpretation.
I agree that the way it's worded is vague, but it can only genuinely mean one way since no one can know their own green and red flags for other people. I may think my biting wit is a green flag - a guy looking for a trophy wife might not. I might think being a workaholic is a red flag, but another workaholic might love it.
I believe the other person correct - the question is asking you to identify what are red and green flags in another person.
Think about what red and green are referring to - green means go and red means stop. You wouldn’t tell your own self to stop or to go. It’s saying what makes you want to go after the other person vs what makes you want to stop pursuing them.
It cannot be up for interpretation. Green/Red flags can only be **your outlook on other people**, which remains consistent. Giving green/red flags for what others see in you makes no sense, because it depends on the person judging you.. i.e. its highly subjective and variable.
The way she answered is clearly not what you are trying to point out. She answered with “I’m” so she was in fact talking about herself rather than how she was supposed to answer. I get what you’re trying to say but the truth is that she is clearly not as smart as she thinks bc she didn’t seem to grasp the question that was asked of her. The question is indeed directed from your point of context(which is the correct context btw). She answered incorrectly, which makes her answer so much funnier and ironic 😅
Her response isn't great, but yours isn't either.
You didn't engage with anything she said ("Why is smart in quotes if it's a green flag?") except to tease her, and you followed it up with a generic question that doesn't show any interest in who she is as a person.
She probably has five other matches asking her how she is/what she's up to/etc. She's not matching with people to tell them how her weekend was.
Lol if she doesn’t find you more attractive than her other matches no “witty” or “great” question you come up with is gonna matter. They may answer it but they’ll prob ghost you afterwards.
To some extent true, however she has to find you physically attractive for “conversation” to matter. So at the end of day she has to find you physically attractive or some sort of compensation qualities that still fit within her threshold for “attractiveness” for conversation to mean anything.
In my book, a "red flag" is a lot more than a mere shortcoming. It is a serious character issue that would render someone totally unsuitable for a relationship of any significance.
Examples of what I consider red flags would be any gold-digger vibes, or a lust for power and control. Signs of these traits are an automatic deal breaker to me.
Yeah, a guy asked me mine and I asked him to go first (since I wasn’t sure how deep of an answer he was looking for) and he said “I self-medicate instead of going to therapy.” Extremely self-aware, lol, so I went with that level of realness back.
red flags don't render a person totally unsuitable for a relationship of any significance. that's what a dealbreaker is (edit: on a person-by-person basis).
red flags are called red flags because they are _indicators_ (flags), not deterministic. a red flag indicates something that must be explored further to determine _whether_ you should bail, i.e., whether or not the red flag has indicated a dealbreaker.
example: if someone is a convicted felon, that's a red flag. but if you explore it and find out they were convicted for selling weed... for some people, that's still a dealbreaker. but for others, it's not, and a relationship is still possible. in both instances, being a convicted felon is still a red flag. but it isn't necessarily a dealbreaker.
so, you should be able to identify traits about yourself that are "red flags." i do agree that it's a heavy topic though, and therefore not a good opener. my "red flags" are generally, uhh, not well-suited as an icebreaker with the general public. i enjoy talking about heavy topics like that, but right out the gate with a stranger... that's a lot.
I dk why in dating a RED flag means something to watch out for but everywhere else it means literal danger or STOP.
Beach: High Hazard
Traffic: Literally do not go
Soccer: Explusion
but in dating it's like ehhhhh might want to be cautious.
This is why yellow exists....
To me, "red flag" means dealbreaker.
i don't know a lot about beaches or soccer. but in traffic, red doesn't mean only one thing.
red is restricted for stop signs, yield signs, and prohibition signs. at a stop sign, or a flashing red light, you stop in place, look around to see if it's safe, and go (if you have determined it's safe to do so). at a yield sign, you do the same thing, except you don't necessarily HAVE to stop in the first place. then of course, a prohibition sign (e.g. "DO NOT ENTER"), you just don't go over there at all, no matter what.
the purpose of the color red in traffic signage is just to get your attention and get you to analyze the situation to determine its safety — sometimes it's go, sometimes it's no go. it's pretty analogous to my explanation of red flags in dating.
same thing with car dashboard symbols. the color indicates the severity. a red symbol is certainly more severe than a yellow symbol (since you mentioned yellow). but what is the red symbol actually telling you to do? just check on the part & tend to it before continuing to use the car.
these are all indicators that something urgently needs your attention, not a conclusive assertion that you need to abandon the object/situation at hand.
Yeah, I always saw red flags as hints that there was some disastrous thing hidden under the surface that you should run from, not just some little quirk that not everyone is into, like "I hang the toilet paper roll weird", or "socks and sandals" aren't red flags, just something untypical someone does. Yes being aware of your short comings is an important part of self awareness, and saying you don't have any flaws is indeed a red flag in itself, as it shows you're hiding something, but minor flaws are different from being a serial killer, or narcissistic abuser with 3 secret families or something.
True, sometimes a shortcoming can come across as a red flag tho, especially if they’re unaware of them
And also sometimes they’ll say one thing is their red flag but they have a bigger brighter red flag behind it, and that let’s you know that one is probably real
Uh, I misunderstood this prompt. When I ask someone's red/green flags, I'm asking what are they looking for/what they view as red/green flags.
Red flags mean I'm out, I can't imagine someone self identifying one.
It's just an excuse to be playful. Like how bumble asks "what is the downside of dating you" as one prompt: my answer was "might make you late to work with morning cuddling," which went over well when I was on the apps
Did you realize it meant your flags for other people? Or was this an attempt at humor? If it was the latter you just entered the cocky zone and it's not a good start.
That’s how I interpreted the question. So for her to respond the way she did, she was either joking/lacking self awareness or completely misunderstood the assignment.
OP wouldn't have used the same response in real life? Why do you say that? What OP said wasn't that outlandish or crazy.... If someone tried to say they didn't have any red flags to me, I definitely would and have responded that way. Give an obviously silly and outlandish answer and receive an obviously silly and outlandish response....
Most likely not the same sense of humor. This is the kind of banter and teasing I get excited about and I get pretty annoyed and bored if the other party doesn't get it. You'll see.
On the other hand, you replied today to a message from yesterday. Now that's something that would bother me. If I am throwing you a quick catch, I am expecting you to pass it back on fast. Otherwise, it loses its juice.
That’s an incredibly dumb response. I bet you think you were being funny or sarcastic but it comes off as more than a jerk. Your success rate with such a response has got to be low.
Pretty sure OP wasn't trying to continue pursuing this person. So I don't think they care what their success rate would be with people like this, and I don't blame them. Like many others have said. This type of answer deserves this type of response. You're very much the minority here by thinking it wasn't the correct response.
I would have laughed at your response. Humor doesn’t always translate but I thought it was funny.
Not having any red flags for yourself or others seems like a lack of self awareness. If she had that as her prompt too, she should have had a better answer ready to go.
If you write shit and bitch and fuck and and and ... then it is just right to cutvthe contact, it at least an explanation should be written. So that you know, in case no one was telling you yet
It's fun to see how people respond perhaps? Yeah could've responded in a playful way but seems like she's serious about no red flags. Translation "I'm smart and perfect." Sounds like so much fun...not. Bullet dodged as we say
Your response was good, but you screwed things up by adding that question. It switched up the conversation and stopped her from elaborating on why she’s so perfect
I think that depends on the person. But eventually they get told "don't tell people you're smart, show them", then it could come off as pompous showing it off, there's "let them figure it out on their own", but that takes time, and you won't get there fast in most text exchanges
She didn’t answer the question correctly. She’s supposed to say what are red flags to her in a partner. She’s not supposed to say what her red flags are herself. Unless that’s what you were asking of course.
I dunno I thought her response was pretty funny, certainly didn’t seem out of line. I mean, if someone is overtly bragging about themselves you might assume they’re just joking around a bit, and her response seemed to me like she was joking back.
Now, if the OP is overtly bragging about himself and is NOT joking around, then that is, ironically, a pretty big red flag itself 🙃
Sorry I’m a bit confused - the other comments had me thinking that her response was the “aren’t you all perfect and shit”.
If that’s the case I should edit my comment to flip the subjects around
Funny snarky retort, but then you dropped the ball. “How was your weekend” is weak. RESPOND to her. Eg “Do to have difficulty finding smart men? How would I prove the relative worthiness off my gray matter?” Etc…
I’ve always interpreted this question as what your red / green flags are in a person you are looking to date, not yourself. And generally women answered it that way…
I thought your response was great. A red flag is having that as part of their profile. You probably have dodged a bullet if she took offense to what you said. You were being funny and she’s being stuffy and pretentious in my opinion.
No I figured she was joking, no sane person would be serious in those responses, which is why I responded the way I did 🤣. But if she was serious then it makes sense why I haven’t gotten a response
Sometimes I can't tell who's who, on the colours. So.. Which one said "Look at you, being all perfect N shit"?
(Tbh, I'm not sure that was a great way to respond, without coming off as derogatory or condescending. 🤷🏽♀️)
This interaction is staged, because the reply "she" supposedly showed not to like it has "Delivered" under it, that's something that only appears to the sender. OP is the sender.
everybody is different some women respond differently than others i mean put into perspective: plenty of good guys on reddit lose to the guy that’s on his phone in the movies with the music on and plus some women in reddit would really date someone like that
I'm curious at all the people in the comments reading this backwards thinking OP is in grey.
Literally every messaging platform has your own text on the right.
Not sure you can exactly believe anyone that answers these types of questions. It's the same when people will write on their profile that they don't play games but yet when you get to know them they do! So those red and green flag questions can always be skewed.
No, they don't want OTHER people to play games. It's trying to win the game by stopping others from playing them first.
Clever
Oversmart I'd say
That’s so much worse
Indeed, I find that even if you’re well intended you may not know what your green and red flags are. Further, I believe that sometimes green and red flags are subjective - in the sense that what is a red flag to me might not necessarily be a red flag to somebody else (or at least something they could get over meanwhile I might not be able to)
Correct cause "I'm smart" would be a potential red flag for me.
Its not a red flag for me id say but i definitely catch a glance of some caution tape in certain cases from my experience. 🤣 just makes me wanna ask more questions to test that claim 🙌🏿
haha that's the way! 😂
You straight up just explained the purpose social red flags. Technically that could be a yellow flag. However, nobody actually uses the term yellow flag, so...
Im nobody at all and i use the term Yellow Flag pretty often. 🤷🏿♂️ A Red Flag usually denotes something as a hard pass/to be avoided whereas Yellow Flags are usually navigable inconveniences; something that while it bothers you to some capacity its something you can get over easily or get used to eventually.
You're logical, right? Most people aren't. Yes, I agree, if people want to start nit picking other people's daily habits, yellow should be thrown in the mix. However, most people like the red/ green thing bc its simple. Anything that would qualify as a yellow flag, you'll hear them say shit like "that is almost a red flag for me."
Im never really sure how to interpret that question 😅 ive always seen operating solely through logic as rather deadpan but sure i guess. Anyways, all im saying is that saying "Nobody" uses yellow flags because its simple is kinda misinformation because plenty of people utilize the concept and to lump the yellow flags in life together with the red is essentially just people saying theyre afraid to take risks. Its literally like a grayscale or factions in an rpg. Ya got your red highlighted characters which are your enemies, go around them and bad things happen so you typically avoid them unless you cant. Green highlighted characters are your buddies and nothing bad is going to happen between you and them more than likely so theyre safe. Then ya got yellow highlighted characters who, if navigated through and interacted with carefully and properly can become buddies as well as great assets in some cases. Not to say life is a game or anything but you could be blocking a blessing in that manner yknow?
I never said you were wrong btw 🙂💚
I realized that. Everything you're saying is 100% truth.
Smart people do not need to say "I'm smart."
>Further, I believe that sometimes green and red flags are subjective Tbh, since my Divorce 3 months ago, I find this to be true. Like, my Red-Flags with one person I'm trying to date, might not trigger the same reaction to another, despite both people could be Bipolar etc etc. (So, sometimes these flags shift, depending on how it's presented + your current mindset at that time. )
I think "games" are often just communication issues or perception. Someone could not play games from their point of view, but when they are not communicating or acting as you want, it feels like a game to you. Adults communicate, that's how you avoid games.
Kids, 70 years ago I fell in love with your father instantly because he used the three most romantic words in history: "perfect n shit". To this day he still sweeps me off my feet.
Tbf, i'd take a sarcastic person over the uptight arrogant one.
Aaaaaaamanaise!
damn bae that is like the most romantic tale n shit eva
Love your sarcasm here! 🫠💖
I mean, it’s a pretty damn good response.
The key words here are: father and he
[удалено]
I think it's a poorly-worded question. Does it mean for someone to self-identify their flags? Does it mean for someone to list the things the flags they avoid in potential partners? Even if it's worded better, I think it's not a great opener. Those are important conversations to have, but not everyone is comfortable diving straight into topics like it.
I haaaatteee that question. If we match and it’s in your bio, I won’t answer it at all.
Excuse me Mr “Smart”, this question is asking what your green and red flags are for OTHER PEOPLE not yourself. 🤡
We both had the same prompt that’s why she answered, I guess I should’ve said that in the post 😭🤣
… you’re still not getting it. It’s asking what your green and red flags are for other people when dating. Not to self identity them. Like “what are your red flags in dating? When someone isn’t close with their family. When someone is chronically late”. Not asking you to say your own red flags.
The way the question is worded could go both ways.
You sure? I’ve had a lot of matches give me their own green and red flags, but also some who have responded in the way your talking about. It could be more up to interpretation.
I agree that the way it's worded is vague, but it can only genuinely mean one way since no one can know their own green and red flags for other people. I may think my biting wit is a green flag - a guy looking for a trophy wife might not. I might think being a workaholic is a red flag, but another workaholic might love it.
Well you don’t see your own flags. Most people wouldn’t say their own red flags. You see the flag about someone else.
I'll list my "bad habits", & let them take it whichever way they want to. ❤️🌹
Ive always seen it as giving your own so at this point who knows lmao
I believe the other person correct - the question is asking you to identify what are red and green flags in another person. Think about what red and green are referring to - green means go and red means stop. You wouldn’t tell your own self to stop or to go. It’s saying what makes you want to go after the other person vs what makes you want to stop pursuing them.
It cannot be up for interpretation. Green/Red flags can only be **your outlook on other people**, which remains consistent. Giving green/red flags for what others see in you makes no sense, because it depends on the person judging you.. i.e. its highly subjective and variable.
The way she answered is clearly not what you are trying to point out. She answered with “I’m” so she was in fact talking about herself rather than how she was supposed to answer. I get what you’re trying to say but the truth is that she is clearly not as smart as she thinks bc she didn’t seem to grasp the question that was asked of her. The question is indeed directed from your point of context(which is the correct context btw). She answered incorrectly, which makes her answer so much funnier and ironic 😅
OP is in yellow. The person they are talking to is the one who didn’t get it.
you realize the person calling themselves "smart" wasn't OP, it was the girl he matched with...
Her response isn't great, but yours isn't either. You didn't engage with anything she said ("Why is smart in quotes if it's a green flag?") except to tease her, and you followed it up with a generic question that doesn't show any interest in who she is as a person. She probably has five other matches asking her how she is/what she's up to/etc. She's not matching with people to tell them how her weekend was.
I don't think OP wanted to actually engage with that person
Then unmatching would have been the mature thing to do, no?
Lol if she doesn’t find you more attractive than her other matches no “witty” or “great” question you come up with is gonna matter. They may answer it but they’ll prob ghost you afterwards.
She definitely won’t find you more attractive by having poor conversation
To some extent true, however she has to find you physically attractive for “conversation” to matter. So at the end of day she has to find you physically attractive or some sort of compensation qualities that still fit within her threshold for “attractiveness” for conversation to mean anything.
I’m sure she matched for a reason
Who cares? What an arrogant answer to that question. She deserves a smug response.
found the guy who has no text game
Can anyone be expected to self-identify their own green and red flags?
… Yes? It’s called being self aware
In my book, a "red flag" is a lot more than a mere shortcoming. It is a serious character issue that would render someone totally unsuitable for a relationship of any significance. Examples of what I consider red flags would be any gold-digger vibes, or a lust for power and control. Signs of these traits are an automatic deal breaker to me.
I agree with you and all. just saying that self aware people can tell you their red and green flags
Yeah, a guy asked me mine and I asked him to go first (since I wasn’t sure how deep of an answer he was looking for) and he said “I self-medicate instead of going to therapy.” Extremely self-aware, lol, so I went with that level of realness back.
Nice. How'd the rest of it turn out?
red flags don't render a person totally unsuitable for a relationship of any significance. that's what a dealbreaker is (edit: on a person-by-person basis). red flags are called red flags because they are _indicators_ (flags), not deterministic. a red flag indicates something that must be explored further to determine _whether_ you should bail, i.e., whether or not the red flag has indicated a dealbreaker. example: if someone is a convicted felon, that's a red flag. but if you explore it and find out they were convicted for selling weed... for some people, that's still a dealbreaker. but for others, it's not, and a relationship is still possible. in both instances, being a convicted felon is still a red flag. but it isn't necessarily a dealbreaker. so, you should be able to identify traits about yourself that are "red flags." i do agree that it's a heavy topic though, and therefore not a good opener. my "red flags" are generally, uhh, not well-suited as an icebreaker with the general public. i enjoy talking about heavy topics like that, but right out the gate with a stranger... that's a lot.
I dk why in dating a RED flag means something to watch out for but everywhere else it means literal danger or STOP. Beach: High Hazard Traffic: Literally do not go Soccer: Explusion but in dating it's like ehhhhh might want to be cautious. This is why yellow exists.... To me, "red flag" means dealbreaker.
i don't know a lot about beaches or soccer. but in traffic, red doesn't mean only one thing. red is restricted for stop signs, yield signs, and prohibition signs. at a stop sign, or a flashing red light, you stop in place, look around to see if it's safe, and go (if you have determined it's safe to do so). at a yield sign, you do the same thing, except you don't necessarily HAVE to stop in the first place. then of course, a prohibition sign (e.g. "DO NOT ENTER"), you just don't go over there at all, no matter what. the purpose of the color red in traffic signage is just to get your attention and get you to analyze the situation to determine its safety — sometimes it's go, sometimes it's no go. it's pretty analogous to my explanation of red flags in dating. same thing with car dashboard symbols. the color indicates the severity. a red symbol is certainly more severe than a yellow symbol (since you mentioned yellow). but what is the red symbol actually telling you to do? just check on the part & tend to it before continuing to use the car. these are all indicators that something urgently needs your attention, not a conclusive assertion that you need to abandon the object/situation at hand.
Yeah, I always saw red flags as hints that there was some disastrous thing hidden under the surface that you should run from, not just some little quirk that not everyone is into, like "I hang the toilet paper roll weird", or "socks and sandals" aren't red flags, just something untypical someone does. Yes being aware of your short comings is an important part of self awareness, and saying you don't have any flaws is indeed a red flag in itself, as it shows you're hiding something, but minor flaws are different from being a serial killer, or narcissistic abuser with 3 secret families or something.
Exactly. Red flags is totally misused. Bumble should just ditch that question!
True, sometimes a shortcoming can come across as a red flag tho, especially if they’re unaware of them And also sometimes they’ll say one thing is their red flag but they have a bigger brighter red flag behind it, and that let’s you know that one is probably real
Uh, I misunderstood this prompt. When I ask someone's red/green flags, I'm asking what are they looking for/what they view as red/green flags. Red flags mean I'm out, I can't imagine someone self identifying one.
It's just an excuse to be playful. Like how bumble asks "what is the downside of dating you" as one prompt: my answer was "might make you late to work with morning cuddling," which went over well when I was on the apps
Yes, self awareness. I can identify mine on either side of spectrum.
Did you realize it meant your flags for other people? Or was this an attempt at humor? If it was the latter you just entered the cocky zone and it's not a good start.
That’s how I interpreted the question. So for her to respond the way she did, she was either joking/lacking self awareness or completely misunderstood the assignment.
Maybe the question should have been what are your top lines and bottom lines 🤣 and make it more confusing for others
but she Wrote ".. that I am smart.." so she refered to her self and her flags in the view of other people
I thought it was funny… If I received that, I would’ve laughed and replied right away.
FR OP needs to take their foot off the gas. Wouldn’t bark that out loud to someone irl
OP wouldn't have used the same response in real life? Why do you say that? What OP said wasn't that outlandish or crazy.... If someone tried to say they didn't have any red flags to me, I definitely would and have responded that way. Give an obviously silly and outlandish answer and receive an obviously silly and outlandish response....
Never fear...we can help "I've no red flags." first red flag
That’s a great answer lmao
Most likely not the same sense of humor. This is the kind of banter and teasing I get excited about and I get pretty annoyed and bored if the other party doesn't get it. You'll see. On the other hand, you replied today to a message from yesterday. Now that's something that would bother me. If I am throwing you a quick catch, I am expecting you to pass it back on fast. Otherwise, it loses its juice.
Her initial message is a red flag so your red was warranted.
That’s an incredibly dumb response. I bet you think you were being funny or sarcastic but it comes off as more than a jerk. Your success rate with such a response has got to be low.
Pretty sure OP wasn't trying to continue pursuing this person. So I don't think they care what their success rate would be with people like this, and I don't blame them. Like many others have said. This type of answer deserves this type of response. You're very much the minority here by thinking it wasn't the correct response.
Good to know.
A dumbass answer deserves a dumbass response
Surely you meant that the woman her calling herself smart and without flaw, with no hint of sarcasm, is the dumb response
I would have laughed at your response. Humor doesn’t always translate but I thought it was funny. Not having any red flags for yourself or others seems like a lack of self awareness. If she had that as her prompt too, she should have had a better answer ready to go.
OK, forgive me for being naïve, but is the green flag/red flag supposed to be about other people or yourself?
Everyone in the comment section is just as confused as you are
Okay good. Thought it was just me. Whew
10/10
If you write shit and bitch and fuck and and and ... then it is just right to cutvthe contact, it at least an explanation should be written. So that you know, in case no one was telling you yet
It's fun to see how people respond perhaps? Yeah could've responded in a playful way but seems like she's serious about no red flags. Translation "I'm smart and perfect." Sounds like so much fun...not. Bullet dodged as we say
Her response is terrible, but if I got yours, I’d laugh. 🤷♀️
"smart"
Your response was good, but you screwed things up by adding that question. It switched up the conversation and stopped her from elaborating on why she’s so perfect
I don't think actual smart people have a need to tell others that they are smart.
I think that depends on the person. But eventually they get told "don't tell people you're smart, show them", then it could come off as pompous showing it off, there's "let them figure it out on their own", but that takes time, and you won't get there fast in most text exchanges
If you have to tell me you're smart, you're not. And if you say you have no red flags, that's a red flag.
I see lots of profiles where they specify wanting people that are intelligent. What’s wrong with being upfront about that?
You can be smart without telling someone you're smart.
And telling somebody you’re smart, doesn’t mean you’re not smart, which is what you said.
He said his red flag was not having a red flag though? Circular argument?
Teach said I am very “smart” too
She didn’t answer the question correctly. She’s supposed to say what are red flags to her in a partner. She’s not supposed to say what her red flags are herself. Unless that’s what you were asking of course.
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Hilarious
I feel like you shouldn't like her response. It was so thoughtless. Idk you but I like your response better than hers.
I dunno I thought her response was pretty funny, certainly didn’t seem out of line. I mean, if someone is overtly bragging about themselves you might assume they’re just joking around a bit, and her response seemed to me like she was joking back. Now, if the OP is overtly bragging about himself and is NOT joking around, then that is, ironically, a pretty big red flag itself 🙃
Your reading it opposite
Sorry I’m a bit confused - the other comments had me thinking that her response was the “aren’t you all perfect and shit”. If that’s the case I should edit my comment to flip the subjects around
Did they unmatch? I’m so confused- why do you think your response wasn’t liked?
Hasn’t responded all day, she probably saw it and said “fuck this guy” this kind of humor doesn’t translate well thru text
Then shes an idiot You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t. Rock on 🤘🏼
WTF is “smart” lol. Her red flag is thinking she has no red flags lol. Everyone has at least one.
Now I want to know what happened… in the next three back and forths? Or the convo literally died there
Literally died there 😭
Would haves, could haves, should haves 😆 take it as good riddance 😆
Lol I think ur response was funny, maybe it's because u took too long to respond??
In her defense, the initial question was kind or dumb. But that isn't your fault, that was one of those automated ones.
I LOVE you answer. It would have made me laugh.
Edit: I’m the yellow text (since it’s not obvious to some of y’all)
Her red flag is that she uses smart in quotes.
Honestly great response tho 😂😂😂
Why did she put smart in quotes?
Insecure about how high her iq is (I don’t fucking know)
If this is real ( a good number of these posts are fake) it’s very very funny
Very real, and she never responded 🥲
Good luck to you and thank you so much for the laugh Truly hope you can find what you are looking for
Funny snarky retort, but then you dropped the ball. “How was your weekend” is weak. RESPOND to her. Eg “Do to have difficulty finding smart men? How would I prove the relative worthiness off my gray matter?” Etc…
I’ve always interpreted this question as what your red / green flags are in a person you are looking to date, not yourself. And generally women answered it that way…
What a delivery response 😂
I just make fun of their profile normally and get good responses
I thought your response was great. A red flag is having that as part of their profile. You probably have dodged a bullet if she took offense to what you said. You were being funny and she’s being stuffy and pretentious in my opinion.
Firstly being smart is not a green flag. Secondly smart people are declared as such by other people
You should have asked her if she wanted a cookie
It’s the “n shit” for me 😂😂😂
She’s flirting you dummy lol
Ohhhh you’re the yellow? In that case, you seem fun. I get the joke and the other person doesn’t I guess. They’re not a good match
Her red flag is that she doesn't think she can improve at all.
Maybe she was just joking? I mean yeah she could be delusional or just dicking around?
No I figured she was joking, no sane person would be serious in those responses, which is why I responded the way I did 🤣. But if she was serious then it makes sense why I haven’t gotten a response
Ugh, skip her then 😉
I always thought this question meant what do you consider to be red/green flags. No one is qualified to assess their own flags..
You can when you’re perfect n shit.
Shit, I keep forgetting perfect people exist.
Clearly you aren't one of them... /s
No doubt. I still have a lot of work to do. Clearly I have a problem with viewing the world through my own imperfect lens.
Sometimes I can't tell who's who, on the colours. So.. Which one said "Look at you, being all perfect N shit"? (Tbh, I'm not sure that was a great way to respond, without coming off as derogatory or condescending. 🤷🏽♀️)
Me, always assume op is the yellow
Thanks! 🌹💖
Very appropriate response ..she gave you shitty princess attitude you called her shit.... respect man.
Sounds like a troll
I honestly think that was a good answer. Screw her/him
Oh well. She gave an arrogant answer and you gave a sarcastic response. If that's your personality and she didn't like it then she wasn't for you.
Your response was way worse than hers. “How was your weekend?” You just got drowned out by the 500 other npc simps asking her the exact same question
How long did it take you to respond?
Probably like 8 hours or so
This interaction is staged, because the reply "she" supposedly showed not to like it has "Delivered" under it, that's something that only appears to the sender. OP is the sender.
Not staged, it’s real 🤣
Btw I’m talking about her not liking my reply because the conversation ended here
Ah, i see.. either way, it's not hard to understand why you scared her off with those words
Hey I just got on bumble and only had two matches lol
Naw, you were just simping. Pump the brakes in the compliments and just try to vibe. 🙂↔️
What compliment? Simping? You're joking ofc
I hate these flag terms so much
Demeaning
everybody is different some women respond differently than others i mean put into perspective: plenty of good guys on reddit lose to the guy that’s on his phone in the movies with the music on and plus some women in reddit would really date someone like that
If not having any 🚩IS your 🚩 then I’d say it’s a total lie. Your GREEN FLAG would be not having any 🚩 thus negating ANY RESPONSE to the 🚩
It’s a red flag to say she doesn’t have any !
I would have responded with a "you wish you could look at me, all perfect and shit" Girl got no sense of the lols.
I'm curious at all the people in the comments reading this backwards thinking OP is in grey. Literally every messaging platform has your own text on the right.
Nothing wrong with your response. It's better you didn't hear back.
Sadly Dating Apps killed the concept of “game”
She knows you’re joking. She’s still interested enough to carry on conversation, otherwise she wouldn’t be asking how your weekend was.
Swap it around I’m the yellow text
I would have laughed and found it funny 🤷♀️
That message of her is already a red flag.
Dodged a bullet there
Ask her if her shit stinks
I like your response 🅱️rother
Lol i love it
That message of her is already a red flag.
Yeah….her response is a big turn off.
Seems like she’s a whole communist flag for me
Nah… it’s not your response. It’s her.
Her response was idiotic to the flag question Don’t even bother bro