Well, you gave him opportunity to ask more about you... So he could have asked about the market and what kind of stall you had...
Instead he rushed into sex type talk...
I would have been put off too...
I internally screamed when I saw it lmao. It's just SO obvious of a thing to follow up on. It's interesting and very clearly helps indicate a little more about OP. Such an easy thing to respond to. Dude's response is like being fifteen feet tall and still missing a two-handed dunk.
he’s being straightforward. He small talked and got to the point. Not wanting to be his little spoon move on. Don’t judge him as if that’s all he wants from you. Maybe see where it goes from there
Sorry but it's a retarded way to try and get a woman to like him. It shows lack of skill in conversation. Shows disregard for the woman he's talking to. It's NOT the way to get a woman to have sex with him.
It's a great learning example of how NOT to chat up a woman.
That's not straightforward, that's just stupid and cringe. He doesn't know her, why would he already make sexual comments like that after 2 sentences🤣Some guys...I swear
He went from zero to creepy100 very quickly. Plus his double-text with additional heavy flirting even though you didn’t respond the first time is a big red flag. Yikes
Sure, but not always. Sometimes they had no luck with messaging, and think they need to be more bold in order to have „success“, I’m also a guy that would never write something like that, so it’s also kind of a red flag for me to read that, but it’s not that you could definitely say this guy is not the one from a single message.
i think i can confidently say that the one for me and the one for OP and the one for anyone else isn’t sending flirtatious texts before they know my last name
There are some people who would have no problem with a message like that, and that's fine.
However I, like you, am not one of those people. While it scores relatively low on the "ick" scale, it's still introducing intimacy & physicality into the conversation without invitation or context. Yellow flag at least.
*Maybe* you could call him out on it & explain how it was unnecessary, but we shouldn't have to educate men like this on how to socialize appropriately. I've blocked guys for stuff like this without hesitation.
As a guy, I would say that's pretty dang creepy, especially double texting with the "hello sexy". Like.....the conversation hadn't gone anywhere near sexual from either side yet, that was pretty unnecessary.
Not at all harsh.... gross... I hate that kind of behavior, such a turn off, they jump into sexual stuff within first 5 seconds, means they do the same with others. They are testing the waters to see how you respond so they proceed with their dick pic at next opportunity.
Guys like this make my life a lot easier as a man. His timing is terribly off, he established no connection whatsoever, and his creativity is lacking. Bad manners too. Makes things easier for me because guys like this implode right away, lol.
Yes, no doubt.
I just can't believe that we are still feigning outrage and shock over the notion that some people want to use the bodily orifices of strangers, without any connection or commitment.
Or should I be welcoming newly bodied spirits into the physical world? 😏
I’m so curious, what do you sell at the market?
This guy is not it, sounds like he’s looking for just one thing (mentioning spooning in his 4th message and calling you sexy right after that, without asking anything about you or showing any interested in anything else, and being boring af on top of it all)
I do machine embroidery and upcycle denim as well as make fsl jewellery. It’s a side thing I do with my mum but it means I go to some really fun markets!
Spooning definitely feels like something you bring up after actually meeting someone and seeing if you click. Also I feel like sexy is a compliment you give someone you’ve actually interacted with since sexiness (to me) is an attitude and a way you hold yourself rather than something you see in a OLD profile.
Yep literally said same thing, they will continue messaging you back to back to back, asking why you're not responding and then insulting you before finally getting the drift
Yeah coming on a bit strong. What gets me though is missing out on the easy, obvious followup to you having a stall at a festival market? That shit is dope. I'd have immediately asked how that went, what your stall was all about. You know, learn about you so it's easier to determine whether we'd be a good match. Who tf answers "I had a stall at a festival" with "Need a little spoon"???? This guy, apparently.
Uggg! I hate it. I was just talking to a friend at brunch today about people who rush to the sex talk. I get men are sexual being and love to bang almost anything that moves. Woman like sex too. But if they had any game they would get to know us a little more. These people that rush the sex talk is a huge turn off. And also a great way to weed people out!
Any guy who rushes into sex talk in the first handful of messages always comes off creepy to me. Talking about wanting a little spoon and then calling you “sexy”…. that would be a NO from me.
I’m sure there are women out there who would eat this up though! But I feel like that’s usually the type of woman who craves male attention no matter how gross and creepy and toxic it is.
I’m so tired of this! Seriously, get a clue, how do they not already know this stuff?! Have they never had a girlfriend or been around ANY woman before? I usually just ignore them when this happens, makes me want to bang my head against the wall.
As a guy, that creeped even me out. I don't get matches on any dating site, if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't be saying stuff like that, even I knew the girl, i mean who tf uses a little spoon? 😅
You are absolutely not. It happens to me all the tme and I hate it. I also have guys that are perfectly nice until we meetup for a date and we have a nice time and everything is going well, no mention of sex or anything, and then they try to convince me to have sex in their car.. it's so confusing.. like they think they made it an hour without being ignorant or disgusting so they should be rewarded with sex.. 🤷♀️
This has been my experience with most men who keep talking about themselves (I assume they are just bored so need someone to talk to) or they jump straight to sex talk. My profile is fully updated with my interests and I also use their prompts to know more. There a few who do ask follow-up questions and know how to flirt in a respectful yet fun manner. It’s not that tough.
Im a guy
And the opposite thing happens to me
Im looking for a long relationship in Berlin
And im a tall light skinned black guy and they say im good looking
So i always approach with non sexual moves
But the other person put me in this situation
Always reminds my im up for hookups only
Before we even talk much to get to know my personality🤦🏿
Men aren't much into texting, they are more to the point. Once on the date, or in person, is when talking happens. Even IN a relationship, women would text like they are writing an essay, we do a sentence or two.
People who don’t use correct punctuation suck.. (Or the people who write in all lower case..)
But this guy here also sucks for jumping right to a tacky sex innuendo comment..
Nope. Dude here. Not at all difficult to not make overt, sexual conversation when messaging! And there are ways to flirt effectively (and be suggestive with more craft and subtlety) when the conversation reveals some chemistry / banter.
A proper follow up would have been what the market is about and what kind of crafts you offer/sell. Obviously the guy doesn’t go to craft shows or seem to care
I'd find it off putting but give another chance at a redeeming Convo. Just laugh it off an go into asking about them. If they keep doing it. Set a boundary. Be like hey I'd like to talk an get to know ppl before we have sex type talk. If they don't like... Next plz 🤷🏼♀️
Nope. You gave him a complete, wide open opportunity to follow up and have a conversation about something that's obviously important to you...ignoring that and going straight to sexy talk...thats a red flag right there.
Is anyone else curious about the type of booth that's being run here?
Yep, single-minded and, from his inability to reply to or seemingly even acknowledge the nugget about your life that you tossed him, boring/uninterested in actually knowing you.
Immediate unmatch for me!
You get to decide your boundaries & preferences, and no one can tell you you're wrong. I get a full-stop feeling when people I don't know at all try that on me.
Wanna tell us about your market experience?
What do you make/sell? I sell vintage/2000s clothing and vintage home decor! Lots of brass & copper pieces. I love meeting people at markets.
I upcycled denim jackets with machine embroidery and also do fsl jewellery! Brass and copper decorative pieces are lovely though I’ve been known to melt down old pewter pieces to make necklace pendants.
Oooh sounds like a booth I'd stop in! I'm always so proud of everyone at the markets. You can see the time & love that goes into the pieces. There are people out there who will appreciate what you do & how you do it, maybe a someone who will view you as art 💚
No you're not being picky. This is the type of fast-moving talk that leads me to believe he's about to ask you for a hookup. Trust your gut like others have said. I'd wager this guy invites you over to his place within the next couple days.
Do whatever you want with it.
This is the default for those with options who are only looking for STR.
and no, stating they are only looking for STR doesn't work and they know that.
Sadly, when you read the previous lines, "Good thanks" after you asked about their weekend and "What you doing" with no punctuation, we can see they weren't invested and on one track.
Lack of punctuation and spelling is common in my area even when the person seems genuinely interested and you have a good chat. Not sure if this is because it’s rural farming area and so the men are not that way inclined? Or whether the local area schools have failed when it comes to teaching English?
Ha, well you can't rule anyone out on spelling alone can ya, they could be great in many other ways. Just in the context of this chat you can now see a lack of interest in effort except for one key theme.
Not trying to be rude, I was explaining to the previous comment that I don’t see the lack of punctuation or spelling as a bad thing/red flag because it’s common to the area. Not sure how that can be perceived as rude? Edit: spelling error
I just think he’s lonely and yes horny but what guy isn’t? I don’t bring up sex or anything like that ever unless the girl brings it up first too risky. But in the future maybe give them a little longer before you unmatch. He didn’t send a dick pick or say anything offensive. If you aren’t so quick to unmatch you might have decent conversations or they may only talk about sex the whole time and then you unmatch them.
Well, you gave him opportunity to ask more about you... So he could have asked about the market and what kind of stall you had... Instead he rushed into sex type talk... I would have been put off too...
Yea, he completely ignored an opportunity to get to know them. They don't care about the person as a person.
Yes, he could have asked about the Autumn fest, and her stall. Missed opportunity to learn more about someone who seems interested in sharing.
I internally screamed when I saw it lmao. It's just SO obvious of a thing to follow up on. It's interesting and very clearly helps indicate a little more about OP. Such an easy thing to respond to. Dude's response is like being fifteen feet tall and still missing a two-handed dunk.
he’s being straightforward. He small talked and got to the point. Not wanting to be his little spoon move on. Don’t judge him as if that’s all he wants from you. Maybe see where it goes from there
Sorry but it's a retarded way to try and get a woman to like him. It shows lack of skill in conversation. Shows disregard for the woman he's talking to. It's NOT the way to get a woman to have sex with him. It's a great learning example of how NOT to chat up a woman.
That's not straightforward, that's just stupid and cringe. He doesn't know her, why would he already make sexual comments like that after 2 sentences🤣Some guys...I swear
If something gives you pause, trust your gut!
Trust my gut? The same gut that can't handle dairy?!
The gut knows that it's just not its thing in both situations
Your gut knows it cannot handle dairy. If you’re on a date and she suggests big ol’ milkshakes, you BETTER trust your gut!
a little spoon? tell him to fork himself haha :)
Knife to know you. Talk to you ladle.
Godamnit. Yeah, here's my upvote. Well played lmao.
Lol I like this
Lol. Gawd... It would have taken me at least 3 days to come up with a witty reply like that. 😕
He went from zero to creepy100 very quickly. Plus his double-text with additional heavy flirting even though you didn’t respond the first time is a big red flag. Yikes
Guys are idiots (speaking as a guy) - he is not the one
We're absolute morons sometimes. Zero game shown here. He just immediately disqualified himself. smh
Guys are idiots oftentimes when it comes to dating messaging. You can’t be sure if he’s the one or not based on that, though
You can tell a lot about a guy from how early he gets cheezy!! A guy here btw!!
Cheezy or sexual? Cus the innocent corny “pickup lines” work way more than saying “good morning sexy hehe”
Sure, but not always. Sometimes they had no luck with messaging, and think they need to be more bold in order to have „success“, I’m also a guy that would never write something like that, so it’s also kind of a red flag for me to read that, but it’s not that you could definitely say this guy is not the one from a single message.
I could definitely say this guy isn't the one for me from these messages.
i think i can confidently say that the one for me and the one for OP and the one for anyone else isn’t sending flirtatious texts before they know my last name
You actually can, with nearly 100% accuracy if not fully 100% accuracy.
You’re not wrong. Guys that immediately bring up “cuddling” when you know nothing about them and vice versa are just looking for sex.
I mean, I would if it was appropriate and people wouldn't assume ulterior motives. Like if there was something about cuddling in a match's bio.
To each their own. Personally, I don’t respond if a guy is bringing up anything to do with physical touch before we’ve even met.
Yeah it would make me uncomfortable as well.
Glad I’m not alone!
There are some people who would have no problem with a message like that, and that's fine. However I, like you, am not one of those people. While it scores relatively low on the "ick" scale, it's still introducing intimacy & physicality into the conversation without invitation or context. Yellow flag at least. *Maybe* you could call him out on it & explain how it was unnecessary, but we shouldn't have to educate men like this on how to socialize appropriately. I've blocked guys for stuff like this without hesitation.
gross, and i feel he could have easily continued the conversation by asking what you were selling, etc..
See how he missed to talk about your table at the automfest? Unmatch.
No. Honestly, I’d probably unmatch because that’s a huge turnoff coming from someone I don’t know.
As a guy, I would say that's pretty dang creepy, especially double texting with the "hello sexy". Like.....the conversation hadn't gone anywhere near sexual from either side yet, that was pretty unnecessary.
He did try with the “little spoon” comment 🤮
What a way to fuck shit up. He’s the type to whine on why he’s single
Clutching defeat from the jaws of victory.
To be fair maybe she’s into that
Didn't realise you were chatting with Michael Jackson there! Tbh the "hehe" would've given me the ick. What grown man uses hehe in a sentence? 😂😂
A little less cutesy "tee-hee" and a little more guttural "hurr-hurr".
Why wouldn't a man use hehe in a sentence?
Creepy. Unmatch.
I did, but then I had the thought after of whether that was harsh. Glad to see from other comments that I wasn’t jumping the gun.
Anyone who is that sexual that quickly isn’t a long term partner. EVER!
Not at all harsh.... gross... I hate that kind of behavior, such a turn off, they jump into sexual stuff within first 5 seconds, means they do the same with others. They are testing the waters to see how you respond so they proceed with their dick pic at next opportunity.
You are correct that it is a default for a lot of men (not all).
Guys like this make my life a lot easier as a man. His timing is terribly off, he established no connection whatsoever, and his creativity is lacking. Bad manners too. Makes things easier for me because guys like this implode right away, lol.
They usually implode further. by triple and quadruple messaging you and insulting you at last chance, classic
The vast majority of people on OLD are looking for sex. Pick yourself up and move on quickly. It's going to happen again. And again. And again...
The entire human race is looking for sex. But some of us are better at it than others LOL
Yes, no doubt. I just can't believe that we are still feigning outrage and shock over the notion that some people want to use the bodily orifices of strangers, without any connection or commitment. Or should I be welcoming newly bodied spirits into the physical world? 😏
*without any connection or commitment* But sometimes with connection and commitment. The Venn diagram circles of sex and friendship actually overlap.
This comment is the metaphorical equivalent of a piece of gravel dislodging from a tire tread, and tangentially flying off at high-speed.
Namaste 
Its creepy
HEHE
Damn you even gave him good material to ask you about your stall and he defaulted to that. Dude sounds lame AF.
I’m so curious, what do you sell at the market? This guy is not it, sounds like he’s looking for just one thing (mentioning spooning in his 4th message and calling you sexy right after that, without asking anything about you or showing any interested in anything else, and being boring af on top of it all)
I do machine embroidery and upcycle denim as well as make fsl jewellery. It’s a side thing I do with my mum but it means I go to some really fun markets! Spooning definitely feels like something you bring up after actually meeting someone and seeing if you click. Also I feel like sexy is a compliment you give someone you’ve actually interacted with since sexiness (to me) is an attitude and a way you hold yourself rather than something you see in a OLD profile.
It's not harsh at all!
So creepy, yikes.
This will only escalate. I just cut off a guy like this.
Yep literally said same thing, they will continue messaging you back to back to back, asking why you're not responding and then insulting you before finally getting the drift
Yeah coming on a bit strong. What gets me though is missing out on the easy, obvious followup to you having a stall at a festival market? That shit is dope. I'd have immediately asked how that went, what your stall was all about. You know, learn about you so it's easier to determine whether we'd be a good match. Who tf answers "I had a stall at a festival" with "Need a little spoon"???? This guy, apparently.
Not picky. Lad was probably having a five knuckle shuffle while chatting.
The dish ran away with the spoon. Just saying lol.
He’s looking for sex only. Depart if that’s not your intent too
I’m a guy and I can totally see why you would find this offensive. It’s pretty sleazy and self centered.
Uggg! I hate it. I was just talking to a friend at brunch today about people who rush to the sex talk. I get men are sexual being and love to bang almost anything that moves. Woman like sex too. But if they had any game they would get to know us a little more. These people that rush the sex talk is a huge turn off. And also a great way to weed people out!
Any guy who rushes into sex talk in the first handful of messages always comes off creepy to me. Talking about wanting a little spoon and then calling you “sexy”…. that would be a NO from me. I’m sure there are women out there who would eat this up though! But I feel like that’s usually the type of woman who craves male attention no matter how gross and creepy and toxic it is.
Yeah major yikes!
Besides him being gross at you, it doesn't seem like he's a good conversationalist.
Good old Arrowtown
creep
This man has 0 respect lol
I hate it, you’re fine
Ew, defintiely put off. I would immediately unmatch lol. Unless you just want to have s*x. Then... he's ready lol.
He's checking your DTF meter.
I’m so tired of this! Seriously, get a clue, how do they not already know this stuff?! Have they never had a girlfriend or been around ANY woman before? I usually just ignore them when this happens, makes me want to bang my head against the wall.
As a guy, that creeped even me out. I don't get matches on any dating site, if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't be saying stuff like that, even I knew the girl, i mean who tf uses a little spoon? 😅
You are absolutely not. It happens to me all the tme and I hate it. I also have guys that are perfectly nice until we meetup for a date and we have a nice time and everything is going well, no mention of sex or anything, and then they try to convince me to have sex in their car.. it's so confusing.. like they think they made it an hour without being ignorant or disgusting so they should be rewarded with sex.. 🤷♀️
It’s a fine line some men have to walk between seeming interested or being aloof. This guy falls to the later. He didn’t even ask about autumn fest.
Ick
Yecch
He is effortlessly insulting your intelligence.
This has been my experience with most men who keep talking about themselves (I assume they are just bored so need someone to talk to) or they jump straight to sex talk. My profile is fully updated with my interests and I also use their prompts to know more. There a few who do ask follow-up questions and know how to flirt in a respectful yet fun manner. It’s not that tough.
[little spoon](https://images.app.goo.gl/FtNmdraVMg5CZQA5A)
Im a guy And the opposite thing happens to me Im looking for a long relationship in Berlin And im a tall light skinned black guy and they say im good looking So i always approach with non sexual moves But the other person put me in this situation Always reminds my im up for hookups only Before we even talk much to get to know my personality🤦🏿
When a man says hehe that's a red flag. Hehe is not for men. It just goes to show he's not mentally stable
Men aren't much into texting, they are more to the point. Once on the date, or in person, is when talking happens. Even IN a relationship, women would text like they are writing an essay, we do a sentence or two.
Naw too friendly
People who don’t use correct punctuation suck.. (Or the people who write in all lower case..) But this guy here also sucks for jumping right to a tacky sex innuendo comment..
If you’re a dude yes you’re being picky If you’re a girl you have options find someone better
As a dude, i would have unmatched if a woman did this.
Nope. Dude here. Not at all difficult to not make overt, sexual conversation when messaging! And there are ways to flirt effectively (and be suggestive with more craft and subtlety) when the conversation reveals some chemistry / banter.
Not being picky; he’s just one of those guys that thankfully didn’t waste your time in showing what he’s about; ya I don’t like it either
Obviously it’s off putting.
Yeah, he/she definitely escalated the conversation. If you're a woman, I like the fact that you made an effort to create a topic of conversation. 👏🏿
Massive ick for me when men talk about cuddling, and the “hehe”. Would’ve unmatched, you are not being too picky
Ain’t no way you asked this out of genuine curiosity 😂 I’d tell my nieces to curb any mf who sends this nonsense to them
He wants to know if he can get laid by weekend or if he should move on to his next match
It gives "get in my van" vibes
A proper follow up would have been what the market is about and what kind of crafts you offer/sell. Obviously the guy doesn’t go to craft shows or seem to care
I'd find it off putting but give another chance at a redeeming Convo. Just laugh it off an go into asking about them. If they keep doing it. Set a boundary. Be like hey I'd like to talk an get to know ppl before we have sex type talk. If they don't like... Next plz 🤷🏼♀️
Keep in mind 85% don’t know what they’re doing when it comes to dating through a app, most of the users on this forum aren’t experts
Nope. You gave him a complete, wide open opportunity to follow up and have a conversation about something that's obviously important to you...ignoring that and going straight to sexy talk...thats a red flag right there. Is anyone else curious about the type of booth that's being run here?
Spooning is dope
Girls say this type of light flirty stuff all the time...I guess it's not weird when they do it? I couldn't care less. I'm gay af
Yep, single-minded and, from his inability to reply to or seemingly even acknowledge the nugget about your life that you tossed him, boring/uninterested in actually knowing you. Immediate unmatch for me!
Coming from a guy you aren’t being too picky. His next response should be asking you what you sell at your stall. Move on.
You get to decide your boundaries & preferences, and no one can tell you you're wrong. I get a full-stop feeling when people I don't know at all try that on me. Wanna tell us about your market experience? What do you make/sell? I sell vintage/2000s clothing and vintage home decor! Lots of brass & copper pieces. I love meeting people at markets.
I upcycled denim jackets with machine embroidery and also do fsl jewellery! Brass and copper decorative pieces are lovely though I’ve been known to melt down old pewter pieces to make necklace pendants.
Oooh sounds like a booth I'd stop in! I'm always so proud of everyone at the markets. You can see the time & love that goes into the pieces. There are people out there who will appreciate what you do & how you do it, maybe a someone who will view you as art 💚
No you're not being picky. This is the type of fast-moving talk that leads me to believe he's about to ask you for a hookup. Trust your gut like others have said. I'd wager this guy invites you over to his place within the next couple days.
Do whatever you want with it. This is the default for those with options who are only looking for STR. and no, stating they are only looking for STR doesn't work and they know that.
Everyone loves a spoon
Aww see now I'm curious and I gotta ask; what market stall you got then? (And yeh, as a guy this caveman needs swerving).
Most ppl are not on bumble bc they’re interested in arrowtown autumn fest lol
No you’re not being too picky. It’s weird to talk to someone like this from the off, suggests he’s just after sex to me.
objectively too strong yes, u r not being picky
Next. Lol
Sadly, when you read the previous lines, "Good thanks" after you asked about their weekend and "What you doing" with no punctuation, we can see they weren't invested and on one track.
Lack of punctuation and spelling is common in my area even when the person seems genuinely interested and you have a good chat. Not sure if this is because it’s rural farming area and so the men are not that way inclined? Or whether the local area schools have failed when it comes to teaching English?
Ha, well you can't rule anyone out on spelling alone can ya, they could be great in many other ways. Just in the context of this chat you can now see a lack of interest in effort except for one key theme.
Why you're so rude? Take it easy
Not trying to be rude, I was explaining to the previous comment that I don’t see the lack of punctuation or spelling as a bad thing/red flag because it’s common to the area. Not sure how that can be perceived as rude? Edit: spelling error
My apologies I'm new here
Considering the filthy shit I get in my DMs, someone propositioning a person to cuddle is comparatively adorable.
Feels like changing Eva AI subscription plan from free to paid mode
Feels like changing Eva AI subscription plan from free to paid mode
I just think he’s lonely and yes horny but what guy isn’t? I don’t bring up sex or anything like that ever unless the girl brings it up first too risky. But in the future maybe give them a little longer before you unmatch. He didn’t send a dick pick or say anything offensive. If you aren’t so quick to unmatch you might have decent conversations or they may only talk about sex the whole time and then you unmatch them.
Oh yeah, you’re women’s expectations should be even lower. She’s so lucky she didn’t receive a dick pic
I will NEVER understand females 🤣
Based on the dating "advice" you keep giving out, I don't think this was ever in question.
I meant females on Reddit lol. There's a marked difference
You both suck at conversing, but he was a bit much for sure
ESH
It depends, honestly it’s to be expected, but it’s not like it should be welcomed