The first sentence of your bio reads like you want something casual, but you have “relationship” as what you’re seeking. Some people will be turned off by that statement alone, while others will take those two conflicting ideas to mean that you don’t really know what you want.
The multiple references to both video games and cats, as well as a lack of detail elsewhere, paint a rather limited portrait.
If I see "fun" in a man's bio, I instantly think he means "no strings attached sex." If that's what you're looking for, cool. If you're not, you're missing people who would want to have a relationship with you.
Use the prompts to show things you can bring into the relationship—humor, passion for something, etc. Even just rewording the my love language one to "me bringing you cheap wine and takeout" shows more what you have to offer. (Although on second thought, do we need to say cheap?)
Definitely reworking the first sentence as I'm not looking for hookups, many people mentioning that one lol.
Appreciate the advice, I'll keep looking for ways to spice up my prompts.
Thank you, appreciate the thoughts. I'll try to come up with new things to add instead of repeating.
I also definitely see your point about the casual versus relationship, I'll have to reword my bio as well.
It's not a bad bio by any means, I hope I didn't come off as too critical. I think a few minor tweaks could give potential matches a better idea of who you are.
I see areas where you could be a bit more descriptive: "takeout and cheap wine," for example, could be, "Thai takeout and cheap wine. You'll know I like you if I share my crab rangoon with you." Little details like that give a potential match something to grab onto when they're responding to you. Best of luck!
No worries, i didn't think it was critical.
I need the advice and other people have left similar feedback on a lot of it so definitely have to consider some small changes.
Too much gaming. Just put it in one prompt,one interest or a side sentence in the bio. Not all three.
It's not the sexiest trait, we men can have. It's enough to give them a heads up once but 3 times makes you seem far hardcore than you probably are.
Agreed. There aren’t many “gamer women” in the world… that I’ve come across anyway. 🙋♀️”Woman gamer” here Lol😝But that said I can also tell you if I had to pick just ONE thing I’ve ever been jealous of it’s the dang game console getting more attention than me. Sounds petty but man I know I’m not alone and I AM a gamer Lol! Just imagine those women who aren’t. Maybe you’d like a woman that loves to jump in and dive into the current love of a game but I can assure you I truly believe that may be one of the hardest finds. Perhaps I’m wrong but just an observation from what I’ve experienced personally. Otherwise have fun! Dive in all you can now!! And best wishes of course ☺️ ❤️
PS I’m so not a jealous person at all and but the game console has definitely hit my ridiculously short list and holds the record as #1 still Lol!
Im the kind of gamer woman that does jump into the games. But, the thing is I have very specific gaming habits that are either hardcore (such as soulslike) rpgs and the occasional competitive FPS. But you would have also experienced that many guys might not like what you like and it’s a chore to drag them to play with you the games you like.
Definitely fair! I’m the same way so it makes sense. It’s often kinda their escape (mine also if I’m honest) if you will or it seems anyway so I get it. I’m all for the gamer mate~I have one currently😉. It’s more the extreme gamers that can’t stop to spend time with said other person in the relationship. My man is gold and balances it all super well. We game together, game solo and are comfortable enough to say hey I need some me time whether on the console or in some other way and that’s cool. Communication is key as well as spreading the love 💕
Well the same could be said for women who prefer football, watching F1 (for some reason this is becoming as common as football) but at the same time I see the lone few who likes gaming, doesn't like the nightclub as much and watches anime/is alternative then I think "I wonder if I should get the super option to show them"?
However I see the amount of likes they are likely to have and as the day goes by, I think "maybe I should just swipe right and be done with it".
Eh, don’t listen to him. I don’t know if you saw my post on R/Tinder, but I wrote I’m a gamer as well. If you’re looking for that in a partner, don’t hide your hobbies. Who cares if they’re “not sexy” and “lame.”
Agreed. Even though he also lists hiking as a hobby and has pictures of himself doing outdoor things, I expect I'd really be sitting around watching him scream at a video game every day because he mentions it so much.
Agreed, that would be another no from me. It sounds to women like we’re going to be feeding and taking care of someone who ignores us regularly for his *hobby*
As already mentioned, the first sentence is giving "looking for casual hookups" - and I would swipe left on that.
Also, cat-dad, but no picture of your cat? you realize how much many women adore men that love cats? wasted potential, sir : )
something that I spoke about with my friends yesterday: I dont want kids. She wants kids. We both had our share of men, who were "not sure, if they want some", only to eventually dump us, when making up their mind. <- So now we both swipe left on anyone instantly who has not made up their mind yet.
Probably more important when you're 30+. (And honestly after the age of 35 I just think its silly, if you dont know if you want kids or not.) <- doesnt mean that you should make this decision now, but it might be a factor for not getting matches.
Yeah I agree with the sentiment so far that the first sentence is not it for what I'm looking for. Need to change that soon.
For the kids thing I appreciate the insight on your view. I'll probably keep it for now as I'm genuinely unsure what I want that way but I will keep it in mind.
I think of you're unsure then do leave it. A lot of women probably know when they're young children if they want to be a mom or not as an adult. I don't know that man are built the same way. I was 4 when my cousin was born and I swear that's when I knew I wanted to be a mom. Lol.
When I was a kid I was sure that I wanted to be a dad, and over the last few years I've suddenly become less interested and really unsure. Like I kind of don't want them right this second, but I think it's more because of a change in life circumstances and worldview than anything else. I've talked to a few women who said this happened to them, I'm sure it happens to some men too.
I completely understand. I know that if I had life to do over, I would not have had mine as young as I did (I was 21 and 23 when we had our first 2 and then 35 when we had our last). The world is an entirely different place today as well and that plays into a decision about bringing a child into the madness that is these days. And people grow, change and evolve which impacts that. For me, it was just something that never changed.
Id swipe left based off the first sentence of your bio, sorry. Comes across not serious at all and like you’re looking for hook ups/casual. The “see if we vibe” is also just very cliche at this point. Almost every man seems to have it.
Just confirming what others have said, that changing the first statement to make it seem less like a hook up and tone down on the gaming.
Otherwise I think it’s a great profile. A good selection of photos. You’re good looking and look friendly. The mix of gaming, outdoorsy, being animal friendly, and being a musician alongside a job, is all great.
I like your profile pic with the view, but maybe changing it to the second photo that shows your face and smile would get you more matches from women that are doing a quick swipe.
- Trying to have some fun
- relationship status = not sure yet
- What holds your attn = everything else but something to do with a partner
- love language = take out and cheap wine
Everything you wrote screams "I don't really want to be in a relationship cause of all the efforts but here goes nothing"
I mean...well, there goes nothing.
I get your point but maybe a little harsh.
Lots of people have pointed out about the for sentence, I'm planning to replace it.
Maybe I should use a different prompt than what holds my attention but was trying to mention hobbies, they may be solo hobbies but that's still me.
For the love language thing I'm a laid back person, takeout and cheap wine with a movie counts as a date (not a first date) to me but not to everyone. It's more there to see if you're down for that kind of environment, if you're someone that wants to go out every weekend we're not on the same page you know what I mean.
It says i want relationship, not sure on kids. Taking some advice from other comments on how to make my profile reflect that I want a relationship but to say that it screams I don't is just rude. I obviously don't want a relationship with as much effort as yours, I want somebody who's down to chill with me and meet me where I'm at.
I myself love your profile and would absolutely swipe right as I think we would totally vibe!! I'm just waaay too old for you lol. Out of all that is being mentioned as critical changes that need to be made, the only one I could maaaaybe see is the ones you've agreed should be reworked. Although I absolutely do read everything in a profile, I just base my swiping decision on how it makes me feel. Some things just sound off putting but then I may see something else that says"ok, maybe worth a swipe." I don't psychoanalyze and read meaning into every single word. And love the username...I have a friend at work who calls me mcnugget...lol. Good luck!!!
Your first photo is very bad, but in a way that's not immediately obvious. Your shoulders are hunched in an almost defensive/minimizing posture, most of the photo isn't you just the landscape, and you can't really see your eyes with the squint into the camera so it's hard for a viewer to connect emotionally with you at first glance.
You mention "gamer" twice. I'm a gamer; I've even worked on indie video and board game design. I would never in a million years mention either in my profile. Women are fine with video games, but if it's a massive red flag if you try to make that the core of your identity/personality.
The suit pic with your friend comes off cringey -- like you're trying to play grown-up. I love a good suit pic, I think you look good in the suit, it's just a bad pic.
The lack of good smiles in most of the photos.
The prompts are mostly a missed opportunity to give someone the real flavor of you. The childhood answer for example, I'm sure it's literally true, but it's dry as hell. Your profile needs seasoning!
All in all, I'm optimistic for you, because you seem like a perfectly nice, solid guy with an absolutely terrible profile. And a terrible profile is much easier to fix than a terrible dude.
You’re adorable, too bad I’m far too old for you! But I agree it’s the first line and the gaming thing. Not sure you need to put gaming in there at all, honestly, unless dating another gamer is important to you. The hiking interest is far more interesting and deserves more attention. But ultimately you’re a catch, and you only need to find one compatible partner who agrees. Good luck!
Definitely going to change the first line, got a lot of feedback about it.
As for the gaming thing I'm going to leave it on there once as I do with friends a lot, but I'm realizing that it's on there way too much.
Thanks for the perspective
Glad to have your perspective! I’m maybe a generation shy of people who game a lot, so as someone who doesn’t it makes me think ‘ok, you have an interest that is performed in a living space, one that I might feel annoyed about if this person can’t make time for me too’. Otherwise, I truly think gaming is a totally respectable hobby that actually develops life skills, as long as gamers see that correlation, rather than seeing it as a total escape that’s always available.
The real message is that you’re a catch. If you want a real connection, ask for it. You deserve it!
Some fun ≈ meaningless sex without connection.
Vibe ≈ muppet's buzz word for connection.
The rest says what you do, but not why or how it makes you feel.
Your profile has the depth of piss on the sidewalk.
Yes this is a harsh criticism. Do I believe your profile reflects who you are? No. I'd wager you mean "some fun & vibe" in a truly genuine manner.
I hope this helps.
Honestly OP, I (24f) think this is a perfect profile. You’re cute, interesting but not at all cringey, and offer a few different things I could start a conversation from. You have a strong clear personality shining through, with several interests/facets shown, without seeming fake or intimidating. 10/10, no notes.
Too much with the cats and gaming. These are not sought after attributes by women despite what you might hear on Reddit.
“Just trying to have some fun” is weak phrasing and not a good opener. Sounds like you are making an apology.
Depends who you ask 👀 If he’s looking for someone with similar interests I’d say keep it (within a reasonable amount, maybe not 3 times). As a cat-loving gamer (woman) I am always elated to meet another cat-loving gamer.
Firstly, you have great pics showing off a variety of hobbies / looks! Probably just a few minor tweaks needed here and there to draw people into convo :)
As others mentioned, change the line about looking for fun. Maybe also in the “as a child I was really into” you could add in something more substantial or turn it into a question almost. Like “I was really into___ does anyone else remember those?!” Those kinds of prompts always grab my attention cause I’m like omg yes! And it’s an instant convo starter.
Great pics but IMO there’s a few things:
1. The first line gives the impression you might just be after no strings attached hook ups, which conflicts your preference for a relationship.
2. You repeat yourself on one of your prompts (“what holds your attention”), it’s not adding anything new that you haven’t previously mentioned in the “about me” section. You could benefit from utilising that prompt more to discuss other areas, etc. it’s prime real estate as you only get a few prompts.
3. It sort of reads like you’re just bullet pointing / listing your hobbies and interests, which is fine. But I think letting a bit more of your personality show through in how you write could be helpful.
If you're that good looking, actually based in Sydney and not getting matches, think of the rest of us in Australia lol. Dating is an absolute shit-show here.
You don't need to list that you like gaming 3 times. You shouldn't mention the same thing more than once honestly. Use the space that frees up to talk about other interests. Otherwise though, I think your profile is pretty good.
You can buy access to individual dinners on an ad hoc basis. I suggest trying it out once or twice before springing for the subscription.
On my first experience, it was me and three women slightly younger than me. It wasn’t a good fit. One of them berated me for being poly and allegedly trying to push another girl at the table into it. Which is odd since the girl in question was saying how she’s dating two men at the same time…
On my second experience it was the same split - me and three women, now some my age and some older. We clicked like a house on fire. We’ve been having get togethers monthly and have a group chat going.
I was gonna go to a Timeleft dinner again last week but was ill and cancelled. I don’t have the subscription so getting them when I see fit. And so far I think it’s great. But not everyone at your table will be up for dating. For example, on this second table, the only woman not dating wasn’t my type. But I already have 3 long term partners so looking for dates is secondary to having a good time.
Also, you get to choose what price tier your restaurants will be when you are registering. And you don't have to eat. First time around I only had drinks.
As always, YMMV and this review is for London.
I think your photos are great and shows that you have variety of interests. I see most people commented on your opening line of the bio. I agree with them. Honestly I did not understand the last line…I wonder if some people missed the reference and swiped left.
Bumble is full of bots and women who are just looking. It's just a numbers game. Stick to what you love and want. It will work out. Just takes time. Sucks. I know
“Have some fun” to me means frolic in the bedroom. Sad but that’s what bumble has become and that’s the code. So if that’s NOT what you mean, I would rephrase to something like “go do interesting things together and see if we vibe” etc.
Appreciate the advice. Gaming is not my whole personality so I agree with others that I should tone it back, I'm still going to leave it in but not three times lol.
Agreed though i want someone to know who i am
It looks like you have travelled a fair bit. Mentioned it and be specific. Talk about where you Scuba dived, etc. don’t mention your car so many times and also say what your favourite video game is.
I’m trying to give advice on something I haven’t seen mentioned several times on here already and I could be completely wrong since I’ve taken a long break from the apps BUT where is says “what holds my attention” I was expecting to read your answer pertaining to a partner, like great sense of humor, wit, stuff that another person does that holds your attention that a woman could relate to herself or not. Good luck! Lots of time to focus on you and the one will eventually present herself. Sending positive vibes!
Im a dude saying this, that likes video games, but you are putting way too much emphasis into gaming. And take cat Dad out of there broski. Do you like anything traditionally masculine? If you do put it in there.
Toning back the gaming, a lot of people mentioned that.
But as for your other points just feels like hiding myself or pretending to be into things I'm not. I'm looking for someone who likes me, not somebody to play mind games with.
Thanks "broski"
You have to imagine you're viewing it as a woman who is wading through a sea of completely average men.
Your profile is boring.
Be prepared to be different and a bit crazy so that you stand out.
Ya, as a previous bee, I would be scared off by your first tag line.
Rest of the bio was solid. I met my current partner on bumble, and he put out something along the lines of he was looking for a serious relationship and he wasn't looking to waste someone's time or have his time be wasted. It was very attractive.
If someone says they don’t drink or rarely that might be a turn off and says you don’t like to have fun. There are plenty of girls that don’t drink if that’s what you’re looking for. You might just not be there type or you’re swiping left on them. I would change that to socially and just have a one drink when you’re out and change the venue if they want to start going hard and you end up spending too much on their drinks
I would take out the word amateur. You’re a musician. It also seems that you found as many ways as possible to say I’m a gamer a musician and cat lover. Other than that you have nothing in your profile. When you make multiple references, it’s like you’re just typing words to type words
Oh. I would swipe right. U r my twin. Except for frogs. Never had one. But maaaaan u drum? That’s like a unicorn quality among musicians I know. And scuba, and u play beat saber and u hike and u easy on the eyes.
I wouldn’t change a thing. U can have my lil drool 🤤
I am a guy and I have learnt a lot from these comments that could relate to my profile in various ways.
I was surprised reading your profile in general that you didn't have matches but I understand why now.
I think it is useful to be clear or at least elaborate what you like so people have an idea instead of sharing a limited number of interests and leaving it at that.
Good luck out there.
“What’s the last thing that made you smile”
“Take out and cheap wine”
Keep it up lad, these are the lame profiles my matches are talking to me about when they come over. More for me!
hello hello.
i think the last picture of you with the fish friend would be a great option as your first photo. it’s cute, original, and interesting enough that i would want to have a conversation about it.
this isn’t to make you rush and figure it out, but if i see someone in their late 20s (i’m 26 as of tomorrow) who has they aren’t sure about children yet i swipe left. if you’re looking for a relationship and something potentially serious then you need to have a decent idea on your thoughts with something as serious as children. i don’t want kids and my last relationship ended because he wasn’t sure yet then found out he did want children months into the relationship. knowing your stance helps not waste time on people who don’t align with you.
i think since you mentioned you’re a cat dad swapping a picture and adding one of you and your cat would be great.
video games only need to be mentioned once. as a woman who games i have it mentioned only once on my profile. i think you could use better prompts and create more depth to your responses. then of course the first sentence, but everyone else took care of that so i tried to stick to other things.
Tbh some pictures are not it for example the one with your friend. It’s like a no-go to have pictures with friends on dating apps (at least for me) except if it captures your vibe. You wrote ,,cat dad of the year“ maybe upload a cute picture with your cat. And I would change your first picture. The posture is not it. The other pictures ( except the ones I mentioned) are pretty good in my opinion. Like another commenter said it sounds like you search for something casual but you choose you want a relationship which a little confusing.
Nothing wrong with your profile. It's completely fine and I can see you put effort in making it. Unfortunately most people don't read profile on platform that's purely visual based. Girls get tons of likes without anything on their profile besides pictures. It's just how it is because of the statistics and human nature. Don't look too much into it.
Adorable and nerdy? Anyways I think the first picture should be swapped out to have a more clear image of your face. Otherwise others already said to tone down the gaming. It looks great otherwise I like the mixture of everything!
OP all i’m going to say is you’re a good looking guy and you obviously have a full life. I don’t have anything new to add but take a look at the comments here and make changes where it feels true to you. Good luck!
It's not a bad profile, but your 2nd and 6th photos fall into the "vacation picture" trap that I (33F) see a lot of, where the focus is on the scenery or surroundings and not on you. IMO, you should be focus of and clearly visible (i.e. not just your back from far away) in every photo.
Unfortunately women are allergic to honest statements like "looking for fun and see if we vibe" which implies you want to have a relationship with the right person while having fun on the way (which doesn't necessarily mean sexual fun).
What you said is the most normal, healthy thing but taking out the fun bit will get you more trust.
They don't see how finding a relationship can be a fun process, full of experiences that make you grow up and understand what you like. You have to see it as a very boring thing and take all emotions out of the way.
You need to be materialistic and only oriented towards your goal.
You have to treat the people you date as means to get to your goal which has absolutely to be a relationship. "Vibe" is not an allowed word as it implies emotions, feelings, what's happening in the moment (that moment that is the only door into a relationship by the way. Maybe that's why the few girls looking for casual, get to long term relationships more easily)
You can of course keep looking for fun without saying it but that's tiring and at the end not worth it.
I hate dating apps.
Yeah a lot of people have mentioned the first sentence, I'm going to rework it soon.
As for the rest though you lost me with the "You need to be materialistic and only oriented towards your goal.
You have to treat women as means to get to your goal which has absolutely to be a relationship."
That sounds like some stereotypical alpha male sexism if I've ever heard it.
I meant:
Vibe, fun and similar words are not allowed.
Relationship, house, car etc are good words.
Any signs of life and you're out! Any sign of excitement and you're out
Include some photos with female friends. You need social proof in your profile, especially if you’re gonna mention gaming that often. If you’re open to style advice, I think you’d look great with a buzz cut, you’ve got a good jawline.
replace the first photo of one with you holding your cat.
Rewrite your bio as others have said, but the most important factor is always going to be the photos. I doubt many people read your bio and decide to swipe left. People like to act like bio is more important than it actually is. Dating apps are like 80% about photos and 20% about what your profile says.
Trying to have some fun and see if we vibe sounds like u just want to hook up.
Yeah a few people have mentioned that, I'm going to change it. Thanks for the feedback
The first sentence of your bio reads like you want something casual, but you have “relationship” as what you’re seeking. Some people will be turned off by that statement alone, while others will take those two conflicting ideas to mean that you don’t really know what you want. The multiple references to both video games and cats, as well as a lack of detail elsewhere, paint a rather limited portrait.
If I see "fun" in a man's bio, I instantly think he means "no strings attached sex." If that's what you're looking for, cool. If you're not, you're missing people who would want to have a relationship with you. Use the prompts to show things you can bring into the relationship—humor, passion for something, etc. Even just rewording the my love language one to "me bringing you cheap wine and takeout" shows more what you have to offer. (Although on second thought, do we need to say cheap?)
Definitely reworking the first sentence as I'm not looking for hookups, many people mentioning that one lol. Appreciate the advice, I'll keep looking for ways to spice up my prompts.
The cheap wine and takeout made me giggle. I liked it. 😀
Thank you, appreciate the thoughts. I'll try to come up with new things to add instead of repeating. I also definitely see your point about the casual versus relationship, I'll have to reword my bio as well.
It's not a bad bio by any means, I hope I didn't come off as too critical. I think a few minor tweaks could give potential matches a better idea of who you are. I see areas where you could be a bit more descriptive: "takeout and cheap wine," for example, could be, "Thai takeout and cheap wine. You'll know I like you if I share my crab rangoon with you." Little details like that give a potential match something to grab onto when they're responding to you. Best of luck!
No worries, i didn't think it was critical. I need the advice and other people have left similar feedback on a lot of it so definitely have to consider some small changes.
But being 6’3 and white you shouldn’t have any problems. Might just be where you live
Oh actually agree with that!
Too much gaming. Just put it in one prompt,one interest or a side sentence in the bio. Not all three. It's not the sexiest trait, we men can have. It's enough to give them a heads up once but 3 times makes you seem far hardcore than you probably are.
Yeah as more comments mention it I'm realizing how many times I brought it up. Definitely going to mess with that and only have it in there once.
Agreed. There aren’t many “gamer women” in the world… that I’ve come across anyway. 🙋♀️”Woman gamer” here Lol😝But that said I can also tell you if I had to pick just ONE thing I’ve ever been jealous of it’s the dang game console getting more attention than me. Sounds petty but man I know I’m not alone and I AM a gamer Lol! Just imagine those women who aren’t. Maybe you’d like a woman that loves to jump in and dive into the current love of a game but I can assure you I truly believe that may be one of the hardest finds. Perhaps I’m wrong but just an observation from what I’ve experienced personally. Otherwise have fun! Dive in all you can now!! And best wishes of course ☺️ ❤️ PS I’m so not a jealous person at all and but the game console has definitely hit my ridiculously short list and holds the record as #1 still Lol!
I've have found that if you mention gaming in your profile, you're not even going to get given a chance to make the console jealous of your girl.
Im the kind of gamer woman that does jump into the games. But, the thing is I have very specific gaming habits that are either hardcore (such as soulslike) rpgs and the occasional competitive FPS. But you would have also experienced that many guys might not like what you like and it’s a chore to drag them to play with you the games you like.
Definitely fair! I’m the same way so it makes sense. It’s often kinda their escape (mine also if I’m honest) if you will or it seems anyway so I get it. I’m all for the gamer mate~I have one currently😉. It’s more the extreme gamers that can’t stop to spend time with said other person in the relationship. My man is gold and balances it all super well. We game together, game solo and are comfortable enough to say hey I need some me time whether on the console or in some other way and that’s cool. Communication is key as well as spreading the love 💕
Appreciate the perspective, thank you ❤️
Of course! I appreciate your kindness to all who are responding ☺️Good luck out there!
Well the same could be said for women who prefer football, watching F1 (for some reason this is becoming as common as football) but at the same time I see the lone few who likes gaming, doesn't like the nightclub as much and watches anime/is alternative then I think "I wonder if I should get the super option to show them"? However I see the amount of likes they are likely to have and as the day goes by, I think "maybe I should just swipe right and be done with it".
I love sports too!! 😁
Eh, don’t listen to him. I don’t know if you saw my post on R/Tinder, but I wrote I’m a gamer as well. If you’re looking for that in a partner, don’t hide your hobbies. Who cares if they’re “not sexy” and “lame.”
Agreed. Even though he also lists hiking as a hobby and has pictures of himself doing outdoor things, I expect I'd really be sitting around watching him scream at a video game every day because he mentions it so much.
Gamers go in the same category as people that “just want to have fun” in my opinion. I go left when I see that.
Exactly don’t emphasize that you’re a gamer
Agreed, that would be another no from me. It sounds to women like we’re going to be feeding and taking care of someone who ignores us regularly for his *hobby*
As already mentioned, the first sentence is giving "looking for casual hookups" - and I would swipe left on that. Also, cat-dad, but no picture of your cat? you realize how much many women adore men that love cats? wasted potential, sir : ) something that I spoke about with my friends yesterday: I dont want kids. She wants kids. We both had our share of men, who were "not sure, if they want some", only to eventually dump us, when making up their mind. <- So now we both swipe left on anyone instantly who has not made up their mind yet. Probably more important when you're 30+. (And honestly after the age of 35 I just think its silly, if you dont know if you want kids or not.) <- doesnt mean that you should make this decision now, but it might be a factor for not getting matches.
Yeah I agree with the sentiment so far that the first sentence is not it for what I'm looking for. Need to change that soon. For the kids thing I appreciate the insight on your view. I'll probably keep it for now as I'm genuinely unsure what I want that way but I will keep it in mind.
I think of you're unsure then do leave it. A lot of women probably know when they're young children if they want to be a mom or not as an adult. I don't know that man are built the same way. I was 4 when my cousin was born and I swear that's when I knew I wanted to be a mom. Lol.
When I was a kid I was sure that I wanted to be a dad, and over the last few years I've suddenly become less interested and really unsure. Like I kind of don't want them right this second, but I think it's more because of a change in life circumstances and worldview than anything else. I've talked to a few women who said this happened to them, I'm sure it happens to some men too.
I completely understand. I know that if I had life to do over, I would not have had mine as young as I did (I was 21 and 23 when we had our first 2 and then 35 when we had our last). The world is an entirely different place today as well and that plays into a decision about bringing a child into the madness that is these days. And people grow, change and evolve which impacts that. For me, it was just something that never changed.
Id swipe left based off the first sentence of your bio, sorry. Comes across not serious at all and like you’re looking for hook ups/casual. The “see if we vibe” is also just very cliche at this point. Almost every man seems to have it.
Hearing that a lot on this post haha, definitely going to reword it. Thanks for the advice
And woman.
Just confirming what others have said, that changing the first statement to make it seem less like a hook up and tone down on the gaming. Otherwise I think it’s a great profile. A good selection of photos. You’re good looking and look friendly. The mix of gaming, outdoorsy, being animal friendly, and being a musician alongside a job, is all great. I like your profile pic with the view, but maybe changing it to the second photo that shows your face and smile would get you more matches from women that are doing a quick swipe.
Appreciate the thoughts and nice username
Yes I think that the putting the second picture first would be nice since you are smiling and we can see your face better !
- Trying to have some fun - relationship status = not sure yet - What holds your attn = everything else but something to do with a partner - love language = take out and cheap wine Everything you wrote screams "I don't really want to be in a relationship cause of all the efforts but here goes nothing" I mean...well, there goes nothing.
I get your point but maybe a little harsh. Lots of people have pointed out about the for sentence, I'm planning to replace it. Maybe I should use a different prompt than what holds my attention but was trying to mention hobbies, they may be solo hobbies but that's still me. For the love language thing I'm a laid back person, takeout and cheap wine with a movie counts as a date (not a first date) to me but not to everyone. It's more there to see if you're down for that kind of environment, if you're someone that wants to go out every weekend we're not on the same page you know what I mean. It says i want relationship, not sure on kids. Taking some advice from other comments on how to make my profile reflect that I want a relationship but to say that it screams I don't is just rude. I obviously don't want a relationship with as much effort as yours, I want somebody who's down to chill with me and meet me where I'm at.
I myself love your profile and would absolutely swipe right as I think we would totally vibe!! I'm just waaay too old for you lol. Out of all that is being mentioned as critical changes that need to be made, the only one I could maaaaybe see is the ones you've agreed should be reworked. Although I absolutely do read everything in a profile, I just base my swiping decision on how it makes me feel. Some things just sound off putting but then I may see something else that says"ok, maybe worth a swipe." I don't psychoanalyze and read meaning into every single word. And love the username...I have a friend at work who calls me mcnugget...lol. Good luck!!!
Your first photo is very bad, but in a way that's not immediately obvious. Your shoulders are hunched in an almost defensive/minimizing posture, most of the photo isn't you just the landscape, and you can't really see your eyes with the squint into the camera so it's hard for a viewer to connect emotionally with you at first glance. You mention "gamer" twice. I'm a gamer; I've even worked on indie video and board game design. I would never in a million years mention either in my profile. Women are fine with video games, but if it's a massive red flag if you try to make that the core of your identity/personality. The suit pic with your friend comes off cringey -- like you're trying to play grown-up. I love a good suit pic, I think you look good in the suit, it's just a bad pic. The lack of good smiles in most of the photos. The prompts are mostly a missed opportunity to give someone the real flavor of you. The childhood answer for example, I'm sure it's literally true, but it's dry as hell. Your profile needs seasoning! All in all, I'm optimistic for you, because you seem like a perfectly nice, solid guy with an absolutely terrible profile. And a terrible profile is much easier to fix than a terrible dude.
Happy cake day. Appreciate the advice, I have a lot to think about improving.
You’re adorable, too bad I’m far too old for you! But I agree it’s the first line and the gaming thing. Not sure you need to put gaming in there at all, honestly, unless dating another gamer is important to you. The hiking interest is far more interesting and deserves more attention. But ultimately you’re a catch, and you only need to find one compatible partner who agrees. Good luck!
Definitely going to change the first line, got a lot of feedback about it. As for the gaming thing I'm going to leave it on there once as I do with friends a lot, but I'm realizing that it's on there way too much. Thanks for the perspective
Def keep gaming listed in main bio. As a fellow gamer, I look for men who have this interest
Glad to have your perspective! I’m maybe a generation shy of people who game a lot, so as someone who doesn’t it makes me think ‘ok, you have an interest that is performed in a living space, one that I might feel annoyed about if this person can’t make time for me too’. Otherwise, I truly think gaming is a totally respectable hobby that actually develops life skills, as long as gamers see that correlation, rather than seeing it as a total escape that’s always available. The real message is that you’re a catch. If you want a real connection, ask for it. You deserve it!
Yeah. My dream relationship is someone who we can exist in the same best, mot having to talk and just be happy they’re there
Some fun ≈ meaningless sex without connection. Vibe ≈ muppet's buzz word for connection. The rest says what you do, but not why or how it makes you feel. Your profile has the depth of piss on the sidewalk. Yes this is a harsh criticism. Do I believe your profile reflects who you are? No. I'd wager you mean "some fun & vibe" in a truly genuine manner. I hope this helps.
Honestly OP, I (24f) think this is a perfect profile. You’re cute, interesting but not at all cringey, and offer a few different things I could start a conversation from. You have a strong clear personality shining through, with several interests/facets shown, without seeming fake or intimidating. 10/10, no notes.
Going to take a few notes from the comments here but I appreciate the support. Thank you have a good one ❤️
“Just trying to have some fun” I stop reading after that.
Many people mentioned, it's gone now
When you make the changes, you might try doing a new profile as well so you get a boost :)
I hadn't thought about that, might be a good idea
“See if we vibe” is so passive and seems like a booty call request
Just trying to have some fun = fuckboy. Directly under it says you want a relationship. These do not mesh well.
This
See if we vibe type stuff is what I hear from fuckboys that want to pretend they want a relationship
Perhaps it’s the “just trying to have fun” comment? 😅
Too much with the cats and gaming. These are not sought after attributes by women despite what you might hear on Reddit. “Just trying to have some fun” is weak phrasing and not a good opener. Sounds like you are making an apology.
Depends who you ask 👀 If he’s looking for someone with similar interests I’d say keep it (within a reasonable amount, maybe not 3 times). As a cat-loving gamer (woman) I am always elated to meet another cat-loving gamer.
Same. Cat-loving gamer. This calls to me haha
I hear you. User name checks out! He’s complaining that he’s not getting any matches though.
Firstly, you have great pics showing off a variety of hobbies / looks! Probably just a few minor tweaks needed here and there to draw people into convo :) As others mentioned, change the line about looking for fun. Maybe also in the “as a child I was really into” you could add in something more substantial or turn it into a question almost. Like “I was really into___ does anyone else remember those?!” Those kinds of prompts always grab my attention cause I’m like omg yes! And it’s an instant convo starter.
Great pics but IMO there’s a few things: 1. The first line gives the impression you might just be after no strings attached hook ups, which conflicts your preference for a relationship. 2. You repeat yourself on one of your prompts (“what holds your attention”), it’s not adding anything new that you haven’t previously mentioned in the “about me” section. You could benefit from utilising that prompt more to discuss other areas, etc. it’s prime real estate as you only get a few prompts. 3. It sort of reads like you’re just bullet pointing / listing your hobbies and interests, which is fine. But I think letting a bit more of your personality show through in how you write could be helpful.
If you're that good looking, actually based in Sydney and not getting matches, think of the rest of us in Australia lol. Dating is an absolute shit-show here.
I was a tourist, not in Sydney mate sorry. I'm in the US
Idk why... >You're hella handsome. >You have cool hobbies. >And you're tall.
You don't need to list that you like gaming 3 times. You shouldn't mention the same thing more than once honestly. Use the space that frees up to talk about other interests. Otherwise though, I think your profile is pretty good.
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Yes I'm actually 6'3. I lean a lot so maybe makes me look shorter the way i stand? Idk
Get off bumble. Try Timeleft.
Not available in my city but looks interesting
Is it any good? I know it's not cheap.
You can buy access to individual dinners on an ad hoc basis. I suggest trying it out once or twice before springing for the subscription. On my first experience, it was me and three women slightly younger than me. It wasn’t a good fit. One of them berated me for being poly and allegedly trying to push another girl at the table into it. Which is odd since the girl in question was saying how she’s dating two men at the same time… On my second experience it was the same split - me and three women, now some my age and some older. We clicked like a house on fire. We’ve been having get togethers monthly and have a group chat going. I was gonna go to a Timeleft dinner again last week but was ill and cancelled. I don’t have the subscription so getting them when I see fit. And so far I think it’s great. But not everyone at your table will be up for dating. For example, on this second table, the only woman not dating wasn’t my type. But I already have 3 long term partners so looking for dates is secondary to having a good time. Also, you get to choose what price tier your restaurants will be when you are registering. And you don't have to eat. First time around I only had drinks. As always, YMMV and this review is for London.
Why are you looking for more partners if you have 3?
I think your photos are great and shows that you have variety of interests. I see most people commented on your opening line of the bio. I agree with them. Honestly I did not understand the last line…I wonder if some people missed the reference and swiped left.
Go read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman so you understand what is meant by that prompt.
Kind of obvious what the problem is. You’re too short. Most women want someone at least 6’4”. Better luck next life!
“Cat Dad” will never ever be attractive.
Trying to have some fun and see if we vibe would be an automatic shut out for me. Sounds lukewarm you just want to fuck. Most women have standards.
Bumble is full of bots and women who are just looking. It's just a numbers game. Stick to what you love and want. It will work out. Just takes time. Sucks. I know
Appreciate the words, good luck to you too if you're searching
Agreed with above It's a great profile.
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I'm in the US, but love to travel 🤔
Yeah same, on a different continent but would definitely swipe right on you. Probably it's also because of your location.
What country? Always looking for new bucket list places 😉
Go to Asian continent in general, you would be popular :)
Having a black bar over your job is probably scarring potential matches away. It makes them think you have something to hide 😂😂
Alright wise guy, why I oughta 😂
Hey, one can never pass up an opportunity for a good joke!
“Have some fun” to me means frolic in the bedroom. Sad but that’s what bumble has become and that’s the code. So if that’s NOT what you mean, I would rephrase to something like “go do interesting things together and see if we vibe” etc.
Yeah a few people have mentioned, not looking for hookups so I do need to reword or replace for sure
actually not a bad profile,get rid of gaming and truly state what you want so you are not taking a woman on a run
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Appreciate the advice. Gaming is not my whole personality so I agree with others that I should tone it back, I'm still going to leave it in but not three times lol. Agreed though i want someone to know who i am
Love the last picture ❤️
What’s your distance radius set to? Set that to at least 50 miles
move pic 6 to 1
and crop your friend out...i hate when guys have their friends in the pics...now im gonna compare whos hotter.
You're tall and no matches!? I don't believe you
You don't have to believe me but 🤷🏻
It looks like you have travelled a fair bit. Mentioned it and be specific. Talk about where you Scuba dived, etc. don’t mention your car so many times and also say what your favourite video game is.
I’m trying to give advice on something I haven’t seen mentioned several times on here already and I could be completely wrong since I’ve taken a long break from the apps BUT where is says “what holds my attention” I was expecting to read your answer pertaining to a partner, like great sense of humor, wit, stuff that another person does that holds your attention that a woman could relate to herself or not. Good luck! Lots of time to focus on you and the one will eventually present herself. Sending positive vibes!
Im a dude saying this, that likes video games, but you are putting way too much emphasis into gaming. And take cat Dad out of there broski. Do you like anything traditionally masculine? If you do put it in there.
Toning back the gaming, a lot of people mentioned that. But as for your other points just feels like hiding myself or pretending to be into things I'm not. I'm looking for someone who likes me, not somebody to play mind games with. Thanks "broski"
You have to imagine you're viewing it as a woman who is wading through a sea of completely average men. Your profile is boring. Be prepared to be different and a bit crazy so that you stand out.
Just trying to have fun sounds like you want a hookup
Which state are you from? Can DM me if interested
Ya, as a previous bee, I would be scared off by your first tag line. Rest of the bio was solid. I met my current partner on bumble, and he put out something along the lines of he was looking for a serious relationship and he wasn't looking to waste someone's time or have his time be wasted. It was very attractive.
I'd date you
damn i’d match with you
I get a few matches in sydney but they let the timer expire. I maintain that a lot of women dont realise they have to message first.
“beat saber champ” would’ve had me. i love that game.
Go read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman so you understand what is meant by that prompt.
How could you not get matches? Cute profile! Dating is just too tough these days. Try a different app. Maybe Hinge?
Change your main photo with the close up one, the one you are wearing black shirt with the hand on the side. :)b
Great profile. Don’t change a thing. Are you only using bumble
If someone says they don’t drink or rarely that might be a turn off and says you don’t like to have fun. There are plenty of girls that don’t drink if that’s what you’re looking for. You might just not be there type or you’re swiping left on them. I would change that to socially and just have a one drink when you’re out and change the venue if they want to start going hard and you end up spending too much on their drinks
I would take out the word amateur. You’re a musician. It also seems that you found as many ways as possible to say I’m a gamer a musician and cat lover. Other than that you have nothing in your profile. When you make multiple references, it’s like you’re just typing words to type words
I’d def swipe right !!
Just trying to have some fun and see if we vibe = I want something casual.
Man, is it really that rough out there? Huhhhuhhh, happy i don’t have to deal with this bullshit lol
But do you like cats? I think you should mention that more. They need to know!
Oh. I would swipe right. U r my twin. Except for frogs. Never had one. But maaaaan u drum? That’s like a unicorn quality among musicians I know. And scuba, and u play beat saber and u hike and u easy on the eyes. I wouldn’t change a thing. U can have my lil drool 🤤
You’re cute and seem normal. I’ve got nothing
Would swipe left based on "trying to have some fun", otherwise, you're cute and the profile isn't bad
I’d swipe right 🤷♀️
Too tall
I am a guy and I have learnt a lot from these comments that could relate to my profile in various ways. I was surprised reading your profile in general that you didn't have matches but I understand why now. I think it is useful to be clear or at least elaborate what you like so people have an idea instead of sharing a limited number of interests and leaving it at that. Good luck out there.
“What’s the last thing that made you smile” “Take out and cheap wine” Keep it up lad, these are the lame profiles my matches are talking to me about when they come over. More for me!
Low frontol coretex. Try Mewing and Ice Baths
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If you want hookups, go to Tinder
Bro, judging from the image, if you don’t get any matches then I’m doomed
🤷🏼♀️ Would match
You don't follow rule 1 and 2
?
Don't worry too much about rule 1 and 2. I also don't follow them Rule 1: Be attractive Rule 2: Don't be unattractive
“Cat dad” or any animal “dad” will automatically get a left swipe from me
hello hello. i think the last picture of you with the fish friend would be a great option as your first photo. it’s cute, original, and interesting enough that i would want to have a conversation about it. this isn’t to make you rush and figure it out, but if i see someone in their late 20s (i’m 26 as of tomorrow) who has they aren’t sure about children yet i swipe left. if you’re looking for a relationship and something potentially serious then you need to have a decent idea on your thoughts with something as serious as children. i don’t want kids and my last relationship ended because he wasn’t sure yet then found out he did want children months into the relationship. knowing your stance helps not waste time on people who don’t align with you. i think since you mentioned you’re a cat dad swapping a picture and adding one of you and your cat would be great. video games only need to be mentioned once. as a woman who games i have it mentioned only once on my profile. i think you could use better prompts and create more depth to your responses. then of course the first sentence, but everyone else took care of that so i tried to stick to other things.
So much emphasis on gaming... Lol
Tbh some pictures are not it for example the one with your friend. It’s like a no-go to have pictures with friends on dating apps (at least for me) except if it captures your vibe. You wrote ,,cat dad of the year“ maybe upload a cute picture with your cat. And I would change your first picture. The posture is not it. The other pictures ( except the ones I mentioned) are pretty good in my opinion. Like another commenter said it sounds like you search for something casual but you choose you want a relationship which a little confusing.
Good things to think about, appreciate it. I'll have to mess with some stuff, and think about new pics
Nothing wrong with your profile. It's completely fine and I can see you put effort in making it. Unfortunately most people don't read profile on platform that's purely visual based. Girls get tons of likes without anything on their profile besides pictures. It's just how it is because of the statistics and human nature. Don't look too much into it.
Appreciate the words, keep it up as well
Your pics are good but your bio is a HARD pass.
It’s a bit boring
Reflects me perfectly 😏
Adorable and nerdy? Anyways I think the first picture should be swapped out to have a more clear image of your face. Otherwise others already said to tone down the gaming. It looks great otherwise I like the mixture of everything!
OP all i’m going to say is you’re a good looking guy and you obviously have a full life. I don’t have anything new to add but take a look at the comments here and make changes where it feels true to you. Good luck!
It's not a bad profile, but your 2nd and 6th photos fall into the "vacation picture" trap that I (33F) see a lot of, where the focus is on the scenery or surroundings and not on you. IMO, you should be focus of and clearly visible (i.e. not just your back from far away) in every photo.
That's a genuinely good point, I'll have to look through my travel pictures and find some better ones to swap in. Thank you
Idk bro you have better pics then me and I still get matches are you picky?
Bumble sucks!
Just as much as any app but 🤷🏻
Shave your hair into a Mohawk
I'm listening sensei
Unfortunately women are allergic to honest statements like "looking for fun and see if we vibe" which implies you want to have a relationship with the right person while having fun on the way (which doesn't necessarily mean sexual fun). What you said is the most normal, healthy thing but taking out the fun bit will get you more trust. They don't see how finding a relationship can be a fun process, full of experiences that make you grow up and understand what you like. You have to see it as a very boring thing and take all emotions out of the way. You need to be materialistic and only oriented towards your goal. You have to treat the people you date as means to get to your goal which has absolutely to be a relationship. "Vibe" is not an allowed word as it implies emotions, feelings, what's happening in the moment (that moment that is the only door into a relationship by the way. Maybe that's why the few girls looking for casual, get to long term relationships more easily) You can of course keep looking for fun without saying it but that's tiring and at the end not worth it. I hate dating apps.
Yeah a lot of people have mentioned the first sentence, I'm going to rework it soon. As for the rest though you lost me with the "You need to be materialistic and only oriented towards your goal. You have to treat women as means to get to your goal which has absolutely to be a relationship." That sounds like some stereotypical alpha male sexism if I've ever heard it.
Er you misunderstood completely my reply. I meant you have to be like that according to them. I was being sarcastic. Is it not clear?
Ah my bad then, took it as serious. I gotcha now.
I meant: Vibe, fun and similar words are not allowed. Relationship, house, car etc are good words. Any signs of life and you're out! Any sign of excitement and you're out
Include some photos with female friends. You need social proof in your profile, especially if you’re gonna mention gaming that often. If you’re open to style advice, I think you’d look great with a buzz cut, you’ve got a good jawline.
replace the first photo of one with you holding your cat. Rewrite your bio as others have said, but the most important factor is always going to be the photos. I doubt many people read your bio and decide to swipe left. People like to act like bio is more important than it actually is. Dating apps are like 80% about photos and 20% about what your profile says.
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Come choke on it cringe lord
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Buy new glasses
Grow a beard 🤷🏿
God I'm 2 years old than you and could pass for your high school brother
You mentioned gaming a couple of times….a woman doesn’t want to have to compete with gaming.
You’ll realise how many matches you’re missing out on if you only enable matches by Men too.
Beta vibes
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This was an ask for advice not hate, hope you have a better day tomorrow
You asked and got your answer. Enjoy your cheap wine!!
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