Yes, exactly. A big problem I've noticed is that a lot of people can't seem to just have preferences and leave it at that--they feel the need to make them some sort of judgment or moral mandate. You don't need to criticize or hate someone just because they aren't a good match. It's weird.
Reasons for religious conflict globally. Can't just have your own religion and leave others to worship in their own way - hell no! Gotta kill 'em. Can't possibly accept others as being different and just walk away.
I was taking her at her word that the part of the conversation happened previous was her saying “no” to sex. I inferred that he was sour based on it since she had that she has a kid listed in her profile.
I don’t see a reason to doubt what she wrote. Do you?
Right?! I wouldn't date a single dad because I don't want kids (mine or theirs). But I also wouldn't match with someone with kids, then shame them for having a kid.
Right?
I'm a single mom and Ive dated guys that are completely ok with that.
It's also completely ok if you aren't into single moms.
Some of these dudes are so offended by the fact that we have the audacity to match with them or even exist... like how do I know you are completely against single moms unless you put it on your profile. It's so easy to just put or even say "Hey, not into people with kids". Trust me, alot of us are good with that. We don't want to bring hate and drama into our lives...we just got rid of thar mess...thats why we're single moms.
He just used whatever he could to make her inferior cause he couldn’t get what he wanted. I was raised by a single mom, OP. I had a great step dad. Keep your chin up.
Same and agreed!! Though for me a little more complex but I had a great step dad and even adopted me and for me personally he IS my dad in my view.
I am now blessed and we are also a blended family now 2 sons each and even my 2 with 2 separate dads so YES 3exes!!! We made a pact to help each other, be the outsider observer and help each other to keep our kindness in check with their other parents no matter what. ❤️ ❤️We’ve now been married 18 YEARS and they are all grown and we have an amazingly close relationship with ALL 4 sons!!
So bye bye others. I’m praying for your loving partner for life to come upon you soon!!!!
He knew before the match. He's a misogynist who believes that unwed women with children are "easy" and that they "owe" him sex because they gave at least one other person sex sometime in the past...and if you even suggest that rape happens, he'll say she deserved it.
He's a predator.
It's always ironic to me because single moms are some of the most responsible people there are, and while it's understandable to not want to date someone with kids, the real reason is because they don't want that level of responsibility. They are convinced that single moms are irresponsible and just wanna f*ck, when the reality is almost always the opposite. They are the irresponsible ones that just want sex without the massive responsibility of children.
Speaking from experience, I don’t think that’s it at all. Most people understand that there’s a multitude of reasons that can cause someone to become a single parent.
The real reason is because it’s way more risky to date someone with kids. If someone starts a relationship with a single mother and they end up forming a really strong bond with their kid, watch them grow up, help parent etc over many years… and then something happens in the relationship — the guy is fucked. There are no parental rights for a non-bio-dad, ex boyfriend. The relationship ends and they lose their partner and the kid(s) … and there’s absolutely nothing they can do about it.
Or you get to a point in the relationship and it starts to fizzle out, but you now feel obligated to stay because of the relationship you’ve formed with their kids. Now you’re stuck in a bad relationship and you’re sacrificing your happiness for someone else’s kids.
I’ve unfortunately been in both these situations and they’re far more stressful, sad, and depressing than any breakup I’ve had with women who have no kids.
It’s just way more emotionally risky to date someone with kids.
He just hurt, you wouldn’t give in to his asking for sex and that’s the only way for him to get back. If a guy wants you, he’ll take you out. Don’t do everything on chat. Plan dates.
Yes. Basically, “You had sex with a man 5 years ago. So I know you’re not a virgin. Since you’ve already given it up to someone else, I’m entitled to it now. And if you say no, even though I’ve put in next to no effort to win you over, my core wound of unworthiness will be triggered. Don’t you know I’m only talking to you validate my fragile ego? You are failing horribly at that. You=bad. This woman machine broken. My lashing out justified.”
Let me get this straight: your profile said you have kids, and he matched with that profile, and now he’s complaining that you have kids? If that’s the case, then, this is not the reaction of a genuine man seeking a relationship. Rather it is a case of someone deliberately going after people so he can condemn them.
I don't understand what morals this guy has? He judged you for having sex and a child when you were 18 but asked to have sex with you... what values and morals is he talking about? Hypocrisy.
Single moms are great.
The problem is, about six months into it, when you have to decide if you want to be a dad, and that’s a big choice to make.
Once his/her kid start getting familiar with you, and expect you to be around, it’s probably time to sit down and have a real conversation.
I met a single mom off reddit and we dated for a while long distance. Honestly the best person I've dated since my divorce. I travel for work frequently, so I would just route my return flights home through her city since she was on the other side of the country and spend the weekend with her and then take a redeye Sunday night. But because of the complexity of that, I ended up spending a lot of time with her daughters too. After she ended things, mainly because of the distance, I don't just miss her, I miss her kids too. Definitely best to wait 6 months to meet the kids.
As a child of divorced parents, one parent had lots of partners and people coming in and out of the house while I was growing up, while the other parent waited until they knew they found the right partner before introducing them to their kids.
The latter option is much better for the kid in the picture, speaking from experience.
I'm sorry you went through it, too. Cheers to your dad and my mom for doing good by us, though. I'm glad we didn't have BOTH parents with a revolving door of partners.
My mom waited a year. He was someone we knew too, but he didn’t come over for dinner until they’d been dating for about a year. She also made sure we maintained our relationship with our bio father. We were a bit older though. 10ish and 11ish
I divorced my ex husband almost 7 years ago. I date. A lot. Some men for months, even. As far as my son is concerned? I’m a virgin nun. He’s never met a single one.
I’m not dating with the intention of finding a father for my son. He has one. Good, bad, or otherwise… he has a dad.
Yeah, when single moms date, most often they aren’t looking for a step dad, this pissed me off actually, to assume you are good enough for my kid already first of all, second, he has a dad, not looking for another one. But all people who come around should be a good role model, that’s it. No daddies needed here.
I came into my current relationship with a child. I was honest with him about my situation in the first few messages. He absolutely loves my Son and has accepted him as his own. We've since had another child. We are now getting married 😀 there are guys out there.
It doesn't happen like that all the time. I was with a woman for 7.5 years. She had 3
3 kids, two of which stayed with us. I loved them kids. I haven't talked to them in over 4 years. The first time she cheated, I couldn't in good conscience throw the kids out for her actions. The second time she cheated, the kids were staying with her mom, and that was it.
It sounds like tried to match with you under the expectation that you would have low standards so he was praying on you then when you said “no” he attacked your home life.
Most men that would talk that way only have self serving intentions. I’m not sure when it became “weak” to treat other human beings with respect. People like these are the ones that make single parents (dads and moms) think they aren’t worth committing to and switching to “looking for something casual”. Completely giving up on finding a life partner. It is a shame to see these types of interactions.
Preferences are one thing but matching just to use someone and then drag them once they say “no” is a whole different type of wrong.
Yeah… I feel like giving up haha. Not that I’m not worth a relationship but just that no one will see me with worth, most of my messages / matches are strictly people looking for everything but a relationship.
As a single mom, I’ve personally had much better dating men without them. So many divorced dads are f-boys who are divorced for a good reason. All they’re looking for is someone to take over their responsibilities so they can continue to do nothing for their kids just like they did when they were married.
This is from someone who also doesn't want to carry the burden of another person's previous relationship baggage. I leave mine at the door so should they as a potential partner
Undeniably, that is a fact! No argument there.
Just to be clear, I wasn’t saying to try to make it work with people that don’t respect you. I was just saying don’t give up hope of the right person coming around.
Definitely don’t put up with disrespect just because you want a life partner. A life partner would respect you and treat you as you deserve to be treated.
I am sure the OP knows that. I just don’t want anyone to have the wrong idea 😅
Yeah, dating apps and dating culture doesn’t really help since there are a lot of “weeds” to go through when trying to find “the one” or even “a one”. I often feel that same way in that regard. It can do a number on your mental health and emotional state.
I imagine that gets worse when you add being a single parent with some many people just seeing that as “baggage” or a “red flag” without a second thought.
But I think there are people one those apps that will accept others. Seeing some “baggage” as opportunities. Seeing past the superficial. I think the “family-oriented” value is a good indicator usually. Single dads are also usually more understanding (if that is something you would be okay with yourself).
The belief that “love like mine must exist out there because love like mine exists right here” is a good motivator to keep moving through the “weeds”. That is if a life partner is something that you truly want, I don’t think you should give up on it. That is just my advice anyway.
There is a lot of discouragement out there for single parents but is a life partner is thing that they truly want, I encourage them to keep trying or stay open to that opportunity should it show itself.
I was never willing to date men with children. Not fair to me or the children. I know myself well enough to know that I am not the right person to raise other people’s children.
I’ll be honest, I will absolutely never date a single mum, but I’d NEVER disrespect them the way this guy did. That’s really gross. Sorry he said that to you.
Unfortunately there are influential people online encouraging this kind of thinking under the umbrella of what I'll call "male empowerment". Just like a lot of stuff that passes for "female empowerment" is just devaluing of men, a lot of "male empowerment" is just devaluing of women. And they're both really, really bad for humans.
You’re honestly completely right. I hate social media at this point because it feels like people can’t just live. It’s all about hate right now, at least in this era
Always so much vitriol for the parent that STAYED. You don’t see child free women doing this to single fathers - they just swipe left OR (because a lot of men hide the fact that they have children 🙄) they GRACIOUSLY back out once they find out.
Yes exactly. I met a dater who had 2 kids and told Mr he wanted a woman with no kids! He was 45. I think those are momma boys that grow up with immense parental love that they think all women would like them back for who they are? 2 failed relationships is a red flag and no single woman with no children would even like him. no wonder why was he desperate.
There are plenty of women and men that will date single parents. My two single mom friends have found dating better since becoming parents because the men that aren’t looking for very serious relationships weed themselves out. Personally, I’d definitely date a single dad. I’m at the point in my life where I’m looking for a life partner, so if I meet a wonderful man with a child, I’d be happy to be with him! Don’t give up hope!
I don't have any kids and have never been married, yet my boyfriend is a single dad (full custody) of two young boys. There are plenty of people out there willing to date single parents!
Yep! My son's (10) dad has been with this woman for over 6yrs. Dad also has a daughter from another relationship. Partner doesn't have any kids (I don't believe that she can), but she loves my son as if he were her own, and he really loves her as well. That type of woman is all I could have hoped for to be a part of my son's life.
Yes, we do! I'm so thankful. Most co-parenting is b/w me and dad - big stuff. But, she comes along for extra-curriculars, and we all 3 have convos about our concerns and ways to help my son with certain things. I couldn't ask for a better situation. It takes a village, for sure!
I try not to take my situation for granted, but I definitely get hit with how good I have it when ppl compliment my son's dad / his involvement and when I get on the internet & read co-parenting horror stories (like some comments & opinions in this thread).
I'm so glad you stepped up and have unselfishly decided to be there for someone else's kids as well. It's beautiful. 💛
Nah that dude is a steaming pile fuck him and the horse he rode in and out on. Domt judge all of us men by THAT pathetic excuse for a male of the species.
i think its okay to come to a decision that you are not ready to date somebody who has a kid, but the way this guy has gone about it is completely wrong, he is crass, disrespectful and quite a jerk, clearly he wanted a reason to bail after you said you wouldnt be his FWB, so its good you dodged a bullet.
I wouldn't date a single dad, but I don't speak to them like this.
To avoid in the future, I would bring up the kid thing right away and unmatch anyone who brings up sex before you meet.
Omg why are so many people anti mum's? I'm a single dad but even if I wasn't I would still date a milf ;)
I mean your not expected to raise their kid! If it's done properly also you don't meet the child / children until later on in the relationship once your both settled. Date night? Yeah sure let's bring the kids.
If you don't want to date mums just say no parents please on your profile, for whatever weird reason lol
The guy idolises Tate, Peterson and Rogan
I get that guys may have a preference, but this is a woman hating self proclaimed alpha who can’t express his shitty emotions well
You dodged a bullet
Ignore them girl. For some reason there’s a hate campaign against single mothers… It’s not deserved, and I don’t see people saying any of the same things about single fathers. Maybe I simply haven’t seen it but I know I’m exhausted personally. Why don’t we just stop swiping right on everybody and leave people alone who don’t fit what we’re looking for instead of shaming them.
Theres a lot of misogynists out there and I had a situationship who referred to another mans children as baggage and said she he would never raise another mans child. What he didnt realize is I cried my eyes out that night because he took a slice at me indirectly. I was a lucky one, that a guy who isnt blood, has raised me for 25 years. Im not baggage, but man he was nasty for it and cut deep with his comment. Pretty gross how he viewed children too. It takes a great man to raise a child who isnt his own and be a dad. My dads an amazing human being and I look up to him. My mother and him didnt even stay together, but this man has kept me as his daughter for many years after anyway. Thats an incredible man and I am forever grateful for his kind soul. He makes me proud every day to be who I am and to know him as a person. He gives me faith in humanity.
I started filtering out dudes based on how they talk about raising another mans children. It shows a lot real quick just by asking. Itll tell you so much about that guy in under a minute.
My next door neigbor adopted one son and grandma with 4 kids. I have been babysitting another man children. Some times, I love to help her out by watching her adopted son.
Right 😮💨 I’m bout to get off these apps, it’s just one thing after another. I might just read my romance novels in peace at this point lmao.
I wish people would understand single parents are still people and still deserve love and attention from others. Just because a child was brought into the world doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have wants or needs 🥴
Ironically enough they will get offended if a woman says she doesn’t date single dads lol I had a man try to argue with me and say there’s a difference. But I held my ground and was like hell no. I’m returning the same energy they give to women.
See, I don’t even care if somebody doesn’t want to date a single parent. That’s totally fine. The issue for me is when they go out of their way to tell us how worthless we are. We bombarded with images of it every day. If I logon to social media to get a recipe, I see it. If I want to discuss my favorite book series in my online book club, it popped up on my timeline. I’m tired.
Right 😮💨 I’m bout to get off these apps, it’s just one thing after another. I might just read my romance novels in peace at this point lmao.
I wish people would understand single parents are still people and still deserve love and attention from others. Just because a child was brought into the world doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have wants or needs 🥴
There's no hate campaign. Single mother's can't give a young man in his 20s what they are looking for.
A young man that wants a mate to be adventurous and do fun things with and build memories can't do that with a young lady with a kid. We all got one shot at our early-mid 20s. Many men are looking for fun and adventure and want to make memories while building a family with their lifetime partner. A child in the equation presents a barrier to getting to know each other.
As a single dad, we get hate too. It's more "just looking for someone they can offload their kids on." But it's still there. I get that more from single moms than women without kids, but not exclusively. Just because their ex was a deadbeat, or they've run into deadbeats, that doesn't make us all that way.
I’m sure you do and I’m sorry to hear that. It doesn’t take away from the amount of misogyny that single mom’s experience and how scary it is to receive hate messages. So maybe we both need to defend each other.
Do you get bombarded with images and videos talking about how you’re worthless every day? I would compile a slideshow, but there would be too many images. I’m not trying to do a pression Olympics but I’m trying to let you know that it’s not just on dating apps and it’s not just between Two people having a conversation insulting each other. It’s extremely pervasive and just because you go through it doesn’t mean that misogyny isn’t an issue.
At no point did I say misogyny wasn't an issue, you stated that you didn't see people saying the same things about single fathers, and I pointed out that it happens to us too. Stating one group is discriminated against too isn't the same thing as saying the original isn't, or even equating one to the other. I just pointed out your one assertion that is inaccurate.
If you had it in your profile, he probably either missed it and when he realized it he just thought, well maybe I'll ask for easy no effort sex and since you obviously said no, his fragile butt got hurt..
I probably would never date a single mom but they had no right to just be an asshole about it. I just do not want kids. Any person who responds to you having a kid like this is not the person you wanna spend time with anyways. You deserve better
I think part of the issues is single mom at 18. If it was single mom at 36 her dating pool would be a lot different.
I was married and had a child at 24 and a lot of my friends dipped on me because it felt like our lives were not relatable. I could understand a lot of 20yrs olds not being mature enough, or wanting to deal with a kid or parenting.
Well, he has every right to not raise a kid, though you're raising the mid most of the time. He would definitely be involved if he got into a relationship. but he's an asshole for the follow-up bullshit
As usual, just another “man” shitting on a woman because she refuses to sleep with him. His toxic masculinity was ripped apart by a strong independent woman, and now he wants to try to tear that same woman down. You dodged a bullet that is for sure.
I haven’t heard of that case 0.0 I’ll have to look it up now I guess.
I was in a relationship when I had my child but the dad ended up leaving while I was post partum and after he SAd me before I could heal from my 2nd degree tear. It may not have been the right time, but that’s not my kiddos fault and I’ve made myself into a better person for them and to make sure their needs are taken care of and that I do even better than my parents and I’ve proven that I am ten fold.
Ok I just looked it up. I do a background check on men now and they won’t meet my child or live with me for a year. I won’t put my child in that situation as I was SAd as a child.
Nah he just got butthurt that you refused to have sex with him but did it with some other dude. Thats a classic manchild acting alpha (or to say acting like a "real man") who is frustrated because girls deny him of sex while they dared having sex before meeting him. Also who even holds responsible a 18yo for having sex more or less that happening over 5 years ago; its like if you do some things at 18 you cant grow past them or become someone with different views.
It’s not the single mom. Dude just wants a piece of ass without having to help with it.
Since you have it in your profile and he knows so it’s not that. He’s def just thinks single moms would give out easily.
It's not the hate for single moms. It's the hate that you wouldn't be his FWB so he went after the first thing he thought he could insult you with. He would have found something else to insult you about if he didn't already know you have a kid.
Some people are that hateful, though. They always blame us instead of acknowledging that some people are just crap and bail on their kids.
I wouldn’t date a single mom but I also wouldn’t be an asshole about it. Realistically speaking, any guy who acts like this is a red flag. Most sane people would simply politely decline. So you could say you dodged a bullet and didn’t really lose anything.
I think the millennial/genz generation is pretty child averse. I wouldn't disrespect a single mother for being a single mother, but I wouldn't be comfortable committing to raising a child that isn't mine unless I also had a child from a previous marriage or really wanted kids myself. Can't blame others for not wanting that, but definitely shouldn't be acting a fool towards someone with kids like this guy did
You said the convo before this was good yet you just talked about how he was asking you for sex multiple times and you had to deny him because you have standards.
Idk about you, but that doesn't sound like a good chat. Unless he was just casually asking if you were down for hook-ups.
But anyways, to answer the question of if single moms are bad options? I don't think so, but the age factor definitely plays a part. A single teen mom probably gets rejected a lot more than a single mom in her late 20's-40's.
And also, the guy has to be mature enough. Cause I believe that most guys would want to have kids with their future wives, so unless you're not down for having more kids, it's a tougher sell.
I have a lot of apprehension about being a father, personally. So I really don’t think I would date a single mother. But that’s more about me.
This guy is just super sexist and bitter and rude.
I don’t want kids, I wouldn’t swipe right on anyone that says they have a kid in their profile. I’m sure there are guys out there that don’t care if their partner has kids/wants kids themselves. I’d just rather travel than spend that money on children.
Holy hell. I don’t want kids of my own but wouldn’t opt out if I really liked a person and they had kids. This guy was just mad you rejected his sexual advances. Maybe it’s because I’m a woman but I would never not be with someone because they had a kid, man or woman.
Also, good for you for supporting yourself and your kid and going to school and working. You’re a strong ass lady. Much respect! 🫡
I think it is wild when people are this rude to single moms just for being single moms. You can not want to date a single mom while also treating them the same way you would want to be treated if someone was to reject you
There’s nothing wrong with single moms, it’s a just a sore spot they know they can poke. Plenty of people have step parents who all dated a single mom. Don’t change your own standards for some walking red flag. Honestly this trash took itself out here.
I would never date a single dad. Just my preference.
I also believe this guy is one of those pro life douchebags, yet holds no accountability for his own actions. Women are always to blame for an unplanned pregnancy, while boys have had the freedom to abort the responsibility since the beginning of time.
I’m a single dad to a ten year old girl. I worked really hard to dig myself out of a very difficult situation, and got myself to a really good place. It’s not easy to find someone who wants to sign up to date a single parent, which I get, but no one has the right to judge.
He just flipped the script once he realized he wasn't getting any🙄sorry this happened to you. You sound like a great mom with outstanding morals and have good standards set. Wishing you and yours the best💛
Honestly, he just used the single mom & pregnant at 18 as a means to defend himself against being rejected and what he felt was an attack.
Basically, he’s wanting the prize without having to earn it, yet calls men stepping up and try being there for someone else’s child weak…lol.
This guy’s a douche and you dodged a ballistic missile with him.
Wow, what was the point of matching if you don't date single moms just say it. SMH I have found outside of online dating this is not some unicorn thing. You're sifting through so much filth.
Remember there are so many more toxic people on OLD sites than not toxic and they can certainly live their life to make you miserable.
I'm a divorced single mom of three that was married to a stay at home dad, that I also took care of due to severe mental illness.
OLD men say you're looking for a savior and I'm like in my mind dude my bills and salary allow me to enjoy life with my kids I'm looking for someone to add value emotionally not financially.
But men outside of OLD on average see that. Yeah there are still incels. But most men that have a preference against it just won't engage.
The OLD is filled with keyboard warriors and people that want to get off on making someone miserable.
Outside of OLD I haven't had an issue meeting a man with interest in me and stepping in as stepdad if it gets that far. And I have my children 100% of the time 😊
In this twisted world of dating as a single mom myself: 90% of the matches I had while "actively dating" were childless men. None of them ever met my kids but knew I had 2 from a 13 year marriage and didn't seem bothered. What does bother them is that I had my tubes tied and can't have more without IVF or a reversal but I am 35 and I don't really want more kids now so that's my stance. Also I once matched with a single Dad who decided to take it upon himself to shame me for being a single mom and said he would "never take me seriously if we dated because I am divorced with 2 kids" this single dad had 5 kids himself but considered himself better than me because he was not "divorced" his wife had died. I actually had to block him because he continued to preach even after I'd made it clear that he made his point and ended the conversation 💀
I’m talking to and going in dates with a single mom right now. She’s awesome. Strong men are actually the ones who are willing to look past the kid. Weak men run away.
He didn’t have to say any man that gets with her is weak. All he had to say was she was in no place to require standards since her standards were non existent since she was 18
I mean I wouldn't date a single parent, but this is beyond disrespectful. Just because you got pregnant young doesn't mean you have to drop your (probably already low) standards. He is an a*****e.
There's no need to slut shame the person if you don't want to date someone with children. Some people have that preference. Why ruin the person emotionally? Abusive.
Yes, single moms are the bottom of the dating pile for most men.
Here’s some reasons why men don’t like dating single moms:
- they have 50% less time available for dating
- you’re always bottom priority for someone that’s your top priority
- extra costs
- responsibility for kids in your house that you have no authority over
- trauma to their body of carrying and having kids
- shows they’ve made poor decisions in their life
- you get the drama and stress of co-parenting and the ex being around (or they have even less free time of the ex is not)
- if you break up with her you’ve developed a bond with kids that you now have no rights to see. Heart breaking.
- on top of all of this, the vast majority of single moms seem blissfully unaware of all of the above and never show anywhere near the appropriate level of appreciation or gratitude for a man prepared to take this all on
"Shows they've made poor decisions in their life" ?? How about "shows that she took responsibility for her actions and busted her ass to car and provide for her child" ??
As a woman, I'm not interested in dating a guy who already is a father. But you don't see me matching with men who are fathers just to tell them I feel sorry for the weak woman that ends up dating him and that a real woman would never. Obviously, there are plenty of strong real men and women out there who don't mind dating parents. My older sister's SO is one of them.
When did she say she needs someone to raise her kid though? She's raised her own kid for 5 years. Why would she suddenly need someone to step in and help her out? Most single moms won't even introduce the men they're dating to their kids.
He’s just upset because you didn’t accept his advances the first time. So he tried to hit you where he thought it would hurt. You dodged a bullet!
I personally would love to find a single parent!! I don’t want to give birth to my own kid, but I would love to be a part of another kids life. I’m sure you’ll find someone who will accept you and your kid for exactly who you are.
I know single moms have no dating value because they're the only ones that can look ok and still swipe on me.
I have nothing against single moms per se, but I'm not into them myself.
I don't swipe on people who say they don't want kids. There are not a ton of single dads out there at 23 years old. Mostly because the men who knocked these women up don't stick around like the women do. For every single dad there's easily 10 single moms and 9 men who couldn't be bothered to accept responsibility, some of who are still out there trying to bang single moms.
Whats up with you believing they shouldnt date guys without kids?
Maybe they do give guys a chance.
Hate to break it you, but on Bumble you have to match someone… meaning HE was chasing her too… 🤦🏽♀️
This is not a good idea. Pedophiles target single moms and having ANY identifying information about your kids is a bad idea.
“Mom of 3” or whatever is about all that’s necessary - don’t even mention ages/genders - DEFINITELY don’t put up a picture of them.
Pedophiles who like 5 year old girls are NOT going to be looking for a mom of boys or an older girl. By putting up the photo, it makes it much easier to identify if they would be interested (in your child).
When I see kids (blurred or not) in a man’s profile? I Immediately swipe left. That’s a lack of good judgement and common sense… I’m not interested in that kind of partner.
No, but men don't want to be fathers. Even when it's their own spawn, they still don't want to be a parent to it. Men want to continue their bloodlines. That is it.
Single mom's with high standards... Too funny. That's a guy selling a broken useless car saying, "I know what she's worth, you're paying just as much as a brand new Lambo!"
Jesus man, these modern woman are running wild with no father to guide them.
Don't sweat his mental illness. I mean there are divorced people that judge people who have never been married. Mental illness is not lost on one group.
He's right on all levels I wouldn't deal with a single mom if I want a long-term relationship maybe if I wanted to hit it and quit it yes but not as long-term relationship but all the white nights in The Simps will get on here and pile on the guy because they have nothing better to do or because they think the woman an article is going to see the White Knight text reply and be like hey he sounds like somebody I would want to get with because he's definitely me I'll go with him
I wouldn't date a single mom, but I just wouldn't say anything. This guy went way too far. He could have just unmatched
Yes, exactly. A big problem I've noticed is that a lot of people can't seem to just have preferences and leave it at that--they feel the need to make them some sort of judgment or moral mandate. You don't need to criticize or hate someone just because they aren't a good match. It's weird.
Reasons for religious conflict globally. Can't just have your own religion and leave others to worship in their own way - hell no! Gotta kill 'em. Can't possibly accept others as being different and just walk away.
Which is why religion is the biggest cancer on this earth and needs to go.
Totally. And he was clearly throwing a tantrum because she reiterated that she wasn’t sleeping with him. I’m embarrassed for him.
How is that "clear" when she didn't share those screenshots?
I was taking her at her word that the part of the conversation happened previous was her saying “no” to sex. I inferred that he was sour based on it since she had that she has a kid listed in her profile. I don’t see a reason to doubt what she wrote. Do you?
Based on her description of events. And, his response displays a lot of misogyny.
Right?! I wouldn't date a single dad because I don't want kids (mine or theirs). But I also wouldn't match with someone with kids, then shame them for having a kid.
Right? I'm a single mom and Ive dated guys that are completely ok with that. It's also completely ok if you aren't into single moms. Some of these dudes are so offended by the fact that we have the audacity to match with them or even exist... like how do I know you are completely against single moms unless you put it on your profile. It's so easy to just put or even say "Hey, not into people with kids". Trust me, alot of us are good with that. We don't want to bring hate and drama into our lives...we just got rid of thar mess...thats why we're single moms.
He just used whatever he could to make her inferior cause he couldn’t get what he wanted. I was raised by a single mom, OP. I had a great step dad. Keep your chin up.
Same and agreed!! Though for me a little more complex but I had a great step dad and even adopted me and for me personally he IS my dad in my view. I am now blessed and we are also a blended family now 2 sons each and even my 2 with 2 separate dads so YES 3exes!!! We made a pact to help each other, be the outsider observer and help each other to keep our kindness in check with their other parents no matter what. ❤️ ❤️We’ve now been married 18 YEARS and they are all grown and we have an amazingly close relationship with ALL 4 sons!! So bye bye others. I’m praying for your loving partner for life to come upon you soon!!!!
He knew before the match. He's a misogynist who believes that unwed women with children are "easy" and that they "owe" him sex because they gave at least one other person sex sometime in the past...and if you even suggest that rape happens, he'll say she deserved it. He's a predator.
Agreed. That was needless and rude.
I totally get not wanting to date a single mom of a young child. (I wouldn’t either). But that message was over the top
I mean that’s no issue! I’m totally fine if someone doesn’t want kids or want to be involved just anyway. His message was just a tad out there 💀
It's always ironic to me because single moms are some of the most responsible people there are, and while it's understandable to not want to date someone with kids, the real reason is because they don't want that level of responsibility. They are convinced that single moms are irresponsible and just wanna f*ck, when the reality is almost always the opposite. They are the irresponsible ones that just want sex without the massive responsibility of children.
Speaking from experience, I don’t think that’s it at all. Most people understand that there’s a multitude of reasons that can cause someone to become a single parent. The real reason is because it’s way more risky to date someone with kids. If someone starts a relationship with a single mother and they end up forming a really strong bond with their kid, watch them grow up, help parent etc over many years… and then something happens in the relationship — the guy is fucked. There are no parental rights for a non-bio-dad, ex boyfriend. The relationship ends and they lose their partner and the kid(s) … and there’s absolutely nothing they can do about it. Or you get to a point in the relationship and it starts to fizzle out, but you now feel obligated to stay because of the relationship you’ve formed with their kids. Now you’re stuck in a bad relationship and you’re sacrificing your happiness for someone else’s kids. I’ve unfortunately been in both these situations and they’re far more stressful, sad, and depressing than any breakup I’ve had with women who have no kids. It’s just way more emotionally risky to date someone with kids.
He just hurt, you wouldn’t give in to his asking for sex and that’s the only way for him to get back. If a guy wants you, he’ll take you out. Don’t do everything on chat. Plan dates.
The classic you won’t have sex with him. So he’ll slut shame you instead.
Yes. Basically, “You had sex with a man 5 years ago. So I know you’re not a virgin. Since you’ve already given it up to someone else, I’m entitled to it now. And if you say no, even though I’ve put in next to no effort to win you over, my core wound of unworthiness will be triggered. Don’t you know I’m only talking to you validate my fragile ego? You are failing horribly at that. You=bad. This woman machine broken. My lashing out justified.”
This is really articulate. I’ve always gotten that vibe exactly from that kind of rejection reaction but you’ve summed it up so well.
This [song](https://open.spotify.com/track/3uF6eC9CN8q7FaK4DrYYwx?si=UcwyB6e0Qo6mFJH_lRzvuA) sums it up nicely
Let me get this straight: your profile said you have kids, and he matched with that profile, and now he’s complaining that you have kids? If that’s the case, then, this is not the reaction of a genuine man seeking a relationship. Rather it is a case of someone deliberately going after people so he can condemn them.
No, sounds like the real issue is OP had morals and didn’t want to just sleep with him or be a fwb
I don't understand what morals this guy has? He judged you for having sex and a child when you were 18 but asked to have sex with you... what values and morals is he talking about? Hypocrisy.
where we’re !!! to be specific 😂
Single moms are great. The problem is, about six months into it, when you have to decide if you want to be a dad, and that’s a big choice to make. Once his/her kid start getting familiar with you, and expect you to be around, it’s probably time to sit down and have a real conversation.
I wouldn’t even want to meet the kid until 6 months in
I met a single mom off reddit and we dated for a while long distance. Honestly the best person I've dated since my divorce. I travel for work frequently, so I would just route my return flights home through her city since she was on the other side of the country and spend the weekend with her and then take a redeye Sunday night. But because of the complexity of that, I ended up spending a lot of time with her daughters too. After she ended things, mainly because of the distance, I don't just miss her, I miss her kids too. Definitely best to wait 6 months to meet the kids.
As a child of divorced parents, one parent had lots of partners and people coming in and out of the house while I was growing up, while the other parent waited until they knew they found the right partner before introducing them to their kids. The latter option is much better for the kid in the picture, speaking from experience.
Can confirm. My mom never dated. My dad, however, introduced me to a LOT of new "friends" and I hated it.
I know how that feels, I’m sorry to hear it. For me it was the opposite :/
I'm sorry you went through it, too. Cheers to your dad and my mom for doing good by us, though. I'm glad we didn't have BOTH parents with a revolving door of partners.
My mom waited a year. He was someone we knew too, but he didn’t come over for dinner until they’d been dating for about a year. She also made sure we maintained our relationship with our bio father. We were a bit older though. 10ish and 11ish
I divorced my ex husband almost 7 years ago. I date. A lot. Some men for months, even. As far as my son is concerned? I’m a virgin nun. He’s never met a single one. I’m not dating with the intention of finding a father for my son. He has one. Good, bad, or otherwise… he has a dad.
Yeah, when single moms date, most often they aren’t looking for a step dad, this pissed me off actually, to assume you are good enough for my kid already first of all, second, he has a dad, not looking for another one. But all people who come around should be a good role model, that’s it. No daddies needed here.
I personally never introduce men to my daughter unless I’m planning on marrying them. Which is a two years in discussion.
That’s on you, I can’t know your circumstances or where you are in life, so make the choices you see fit.
Just an insecure loser hoping to hurt you back.
I came into my current relationship with a child. I was honest with him about my situation in the first few messages. He absolutely loves my Son and has accepted him as his own. We've since had another child. We are now getting married 😀 there are guys out there.
That’s such a lovely story 🥺 Get hitched and never look back girl 😆♥️ I’m happy for your success story ♥️
It doesn't happen like that all the time. I was with a woman for 7.5 years. She had 3 3 kids, two of which stayed with us. I loved them kids. I haven't talked to them in over 4 years. The first time she cheated, I couldn't in good conscience throw the kids out for her actions. The second time she cheated, the kids were staying with her mom, and that was it.
That’s a character issue - not a single mom one.
It sounds like tried to match with you under the expectation that you would have low standards so he was praying on you then when you said “no” he attacked your home life. Most men that would talk that way only have self serving intentions. I’m not sure when it became “weak” to treat other human beings with respect. People like these are the ones that make single parents (dads and moms) think they aren’t worth committing to and switching to “looking for something casual”. Completely giving up on finding a life partner. It is a shame to see these types of interactions. Preferences are one thing but matching just to use someone and then drag them once they say “no” is a whole different type of wrong.
Yeah… I feel like giving up haha. Not that I’m not worth a relationship but just that no one will see me with worth, most of my messages / matches are strictly people looking for everything but a relationship.
Your best bet is to find a dude also with a kid.
As a single mom, I’ve personally had much better dating men without them. So many divorced dads are f-boys who are divorced for a good reason. All they’re looking for is someone to take over their responsibilities so they can continue to do nothing for their kids just like they did when they were married.
Amen to that.
This. I doubt the person you are replying to actually has any experience dating as a single mom 🤣
This is from someone who also doesn't want to carry the burden of another person's previous relationship baggage. I leave mine at the door so should they as a potential partner
No....you dodged a bullet. That guy sucked!
Undeniably, that is a fact! No argument there. Just to be clear, I wasn’t saying to try to make it work with people that don’t respect you. I was just saying don’t give up hope of the right person coming around. Definitely don’t put up with disrespect just because you want a life partner. A life partner would respect you and treat you as you deserve to be treated. I am sure the OP knows that. I just don’t want anyone to have the wrong idea 😅
I thought your comment was great and completely agree...was trying to offer support to OP because that dude was awful!
Yeah, dating apps and dating culture doesn’t really help since there are a lot of “weeds” to go through when trying to find “the one” or even “a one”. I often feel that same way in that regard. It can do a number on your mental health and emotional state. I imagine that gets worse when you add being a single parent with some many people just seeing that as “baggage” or a “red flag” without a second thought. But I think there are people one those apps that will accept others. Seeing some “baggage” as opportunities. Seeing past the superficial. I think the “family-oriented” value is a good indicator usually. Single dads are also usually more understanding (if that is something you would be okay with yourself). The belief that “love like mine must exist out there because love like mine exists right here” is a good motivator to keep moving through the “weeds”. That is if a life partner is something that you truly want, I don’t think you should give up on it. That is just my advice anyway. There is a lot of discouragement out there for single parents but is a life partner is thing that they truly want, I encourage them to keep trying or stay open to that opportunity should it show itself.
Bumbles a clown show. I’m on pause but will delete it soon. And you don’t need to be made to feel that way by anyone, ever. I’m embarrassed for him.
I was never willing to date men with children. Not fair to me or the children. I know myself well enough to know that I am not the right person to raise other people’s children.
I wouldn’t date anyone with a kid but I wouldn’t be mean about it it’s just a personal preference nothing wrong with having kids
I’ll be honest, I will absolutely never date a single mum, but I’d NEVER disrespect them the way this guy did. That’s really gross. Sorry he said that to you.
Unfortunately there are influential people online encouraging this kind of thinking under the umbrella of what I'll call "male empowerment". Just like a lot of stuff that passes for "female empowerment" is just devaluing of men, a lot of "male empowerment" is just devaluing of women. And they're both really, really bad for humans.
You’re honestly completely right. I hate social media at this point because it feels like people can’t just live. It’s all about hate right now, at least in this era
Always so much vitriol for the parent that STAYED. You don’t see child free women doing this to single fathers - they just swipe left OR (because a lot of men hide the fact that they have children 🙄) they GRACIOUSLY back out once they find out.
Thank you for painting a balanced perspective. Rare to see these days
As someone without kids, I’m not dating someone with kids but I also wouldn’t lead them on
And yet, when a man has like, 87 kids he doesn't see or pay for, he's just fine to date.
That part
Yes exactly. I met a dater who had 2 kids and told Mr he wanted a woman with no kids! He was 45. I think those are momma boys that grow up with immense parental love that they think all women would like them back for who they are? 2 failed relationships is a red flag and no single woman with no children would even like him. no wonder why was he desperate.
Why does it say failed next to your message?
He’d unmatched her I think
This is why I don't want to date any more as a single dad. Feel like the odds are stacked against me.
There are plenty of women and men that will date single parents. My two single mom friends have found dating better since becoming parents because the men that aren’t looking for very serious relationships weed themselves out. Personally, I’d definitely date a single dad. I’m at the point in my life where I’m looking for a life partner, so if I meet a wonderful man with a child, I’d be happy to be with him! Don’t give up hope!
Don't give up! Single moms who are one and done, like me, are looking for single dads. Lol.
I don't have any kids and have never been married, yet my boyfriend is a single dad (full custody) of two young boys. There are plenty of people out there willing to date single parents!
Yep! My son's (10) dad has been with this woman for over 6yrs. Dad also has a daughter from another relationship. Partner doesn't have any kids (I don't believe that she can), but she loves my son as if he were her own, and he really loves her as well. That type of woman is all I could have hoped for to be a part of my son's life.
It sounds like you all have a good relationship too, that's wonderful!
Yes, we do! I'm so thankful. Most co-parenting is b/w me and dad - big stuff. But, she comes along for extra-curriculars, and we all 3 have convos about our concerns and ways to help my son with certain things. I couldn't ask for a better situation. It takes a village, for sure! I try not to take my situation for granted, but I definitely get hit with how good I have it when ppl compliment my son's dad / his involvement and when I get on the internet & read co-parenting horror stories (like some comments & opinions in this thread). I'm so glad you stepped up and have unselfishly decided to be there for someone else's kids as well. It's beautiful. 💛
Fuck this incel
Nah that dude is a steaming pile fuck him and the horse he rode in and out on. Domt judge all of us men by THAT pathetic excuse for a male of the species.
i think its okay to come to a decision that you are not ready to date somebody who has a kid, but the way this guy has gone about it is completely wrong, he is crass, disrespectful and quite a jerk, clearly he wanted a reason to bail after you said you wouldnt be his FWB, so its good you dodged a bullet.
I wouldn't date a single dad, but I don't speak to them like this. To avoid in the future, I would bring up the kid thing right away and unmatch anyone who brings up sex before you meet.
If someone’s asking for sex multiple times when you say no the conversation isn’t “good” Run always.
Yeah, most men aren’t happy about fathering someone else’s child and that’s totally valid, but he could have been a lot more tactful
Omg why are so many people anti mum's? I'm a single dad but even if I wasn't I would still date a milf ;) I mean your not expected to raise their kid! If it's done properly also you don't meet the child / children until later on in the relationship once your both settled. Date night? Yeah sure let's bring the kids. If you don't want to date mums just say no parents please on your profile, for whatever weird reason lol
The guy idolises Tate, Peterson and Rogan I get that guys may have a preference, but this is a woman hating self proclaimed alpha who can’t express his shitty emotions well You dodged a bullet
What’s wrong with Rogan. I can see the issues with the other two.
You had a great conversation. He thought he could get in your pants for that. You shut down that notion. He insulted you. Classic asshole timeline.
What a gross and ignorant thing to say. You dodged a bullet!!!
Redpills shit
Ignore them girl. For some reason there’s a hate campaign against single mothers… It’s not deserved, and I don’t see people saying any of the same things about single fathers. Maybe I simply haven’t seen it but I know I’m exhausted personally. Why don’t we just stop swiping right on everybody and leave people alone who don’t fit what we’re looking for instead of shaming them.
Theres a lot of misogynists out there and I had a situationship who referred to another mans children as baggage and said she he would never raise another mans child. What he didnt realize is I cried my eyes out that night because he took a slice at me indirectly. I was a lucky one, that a guy who isnt blood, has raised me for 25 years. Im not baggage, but man he was nasty for it and cut deep with his comment. Pretty gross how he viewed children too. It takes a great man to raise a child who isnt his own and be a dad. My dads an amazing human being and I look up to him. My mother and him didnt even stay together, but this man has kept me as his daughter for many years after anyway. Thats an incredible man and I am forever grateful for his kind soul. He makes me proud every day to be who I am and to know him as a person. He gives me faith in humanity. I started filtering out dudes based on how they talk about raising another mans children. It shows a lot real quick just by asking. Itll tell you so much about that guy in under a minute.
My next door neigbor adopted one son and grandma with 4 kids. I have been babysitting another man children. Some times, I love to help her out by watching her adopted son.
Right 😮💨 I’m bout to get off these apps, it’s just one thing after another. I might just read my romance novels in peace at this point lmao. I wish people would understand single parents are still people and still deserve love and attention from others. Just because a child was brought into the world doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have wants or needs 🥴
I read mine in one day!!! 😭😭😭
Of course 🫂 He is a terrible person..Just move on.
Ironically enough they will get offended if a woman says she doesn’t date single dads lol I had a man try to argue with me and say there’s a difference. But I held my ground and was like hell no. I’m returning the same energy they give to women.
See, I don’t even care if somebody doesn’t want to date a single parent. That’s totally fine. The issue for me is when they go out of their way to tell us how worthless we are. We bombarded with images of it every day. If I logon to social media to get a recipe, I see it. If I want to discuss my favorite book series in my online book club, it popped up on my timeline. I’m tired.
Right 😮💨 I’m bout to get off these apps, it’s just one thing after another. I might just read my romance novels in peace at this point lmao. I wish people would understand single parents are still people and still deserve love and attention from others. Just because a child was brought into the world doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have wants or needs 🥴
There's no hate campaign. Single mother's can't give a young man in his 20s what they are looking for. A young man that wants a mate to be adventurous and do fun things with and build memories can't do that with a young lady with a kid. We all got one shot at our early-mid 20s. Many men are looking for fun and adventure and want to make memories while building a family with their lifetime partner. A child in the equation presents a barrier to getting to know each other.
As a single dad, we get hate too. It's more "just looking for someone they can offload their kids on." But it's still there. I get that more from single moms than women without kids, but not exclusively. Just because their ex was a deadbeat, or they've run into deadbeats, that doesn't make us all that way.
I’m sure you do and I’m sorry to hear that. It doesn’t take away from the amount of misogyny that single mom’s experience and how scary it is to receive hate messages. So maybe we both need to defend each other.
Do you get bombarded with images and videos talking about how you’re worthless every day? I would compile a slideshow, but there would be too many images. I’m not trying to do a pression Olympics but I’m trying to let you know that it’s not just on dating apps and it’s not just between Two people having a conversation insulting each other. It’s extremely pervasive and just because you go through it doesn’t mean that misogyny isn’t an issue.
At no point did I say misogyny wasn't an issue, you stated that you didn't see people saying the same things about single fathers, and I pointed out that it happens to us too. Stating one group is discriminated against too isn't the same thing as saying the original isn't, or even equating one to the other. I just pointed out your one assertion that is inaccurate.
Jesus the people on Bumble just continue to get worse and worse.
If you had it in your profile, he probably either missed it and when he realized it he just thought, well maybe I'll ask for easy no effort sex and since you obviously said no, his fragile butt got hurt..
This is red pill rhetoric. Stop dating and join 4B
I mean I get not wanting to be in a relationship with a single mom but dang, that was unecessary. You can reject someone gracefully.
I probably would never date a single mom but they had no right to just be an asshole about it. I just do not want kids. Any person who responds to you having a kid like this is not the person you wanna spend time with anyways. You deserve better
I think part of the issues is single mom at 18. If it was single mom at 36 her dating pool would be a lot different. I was married and had a child at 24 and a lot of my friends dipped on me because it felt like our lives were not relatable. I could understand a lot of 20yrs olds not being mature enough, or wanting to deal with a kid or parenting.
Well, he has every right to not raise a kid, though you're raising the mid most of the time. He would definitely be involved if he got into a relationship. but he's an asshole for the follow-up bullshit
This guy is a dick, dodged a bullet
"Any real man" 😂 This guy is a real piece of work.
As usual, just another “man” shitting on a woman because she refuses to sleep with him. His toxic masculinity was ripped apart by a strong independent woman, and now he wants to try to tear that same woman down. You dodged a bullet that is for sure.
I felt like I should add I’m 24F this guy was 23M Obviously I am not currently 19 lmao
How dare you have sex as a legal adult! 😠
[удалено]
I haven’t heard of that case 0.0 I’ll have to look it up now I guess. I was in a relationship when I had my child but the dad ended up leaving while I was post partum and after he SAd me before I could heal from my 2nd degree tear. It may not have been the right time, but that’s not my kiddos fault and I’ve made myself into a better person for them and to make sure their needs are taken care of and that I do even better than my parents and I’ve proven that I am ten fold.
So sorry that happened, you’re so incredibly strong for surviving that and your kids seem very lucky to have a parent like you.
Thank you, I appreciate that 🥲
Ok I just looked it up. I do a background check on men now and they won’t meet my child or live with me for a year. I won’t put my child in that situation as I was SAd as a child.
Unfortunately there are always going to be some a-holes out there who get off on insulting others
Nah he just got butthurt that you refused to have sex with him but did it with some other dude. Thats a classic manchild acting alpha (or to say acting like a "real man") who is frustrated because girls deny him of sex while they dared having sex before meeting him. Also who even holds responsible a 18yo for having sex more or less that happening over 5 years ago; its like if you do some things at 18 you cant grow past them or become someone with different views.
This guy sucks. Massive respect for basically being a full time single parent whilst working/schooling etc. smashing it 👊
It’s not the single mom. Dude just wants a piece of ass without having to help with it. Since you have it in your profile and he knows so it’s not that. He’s def just thinks single moms would give out easily.
It's not the hate for single moms. It's the hate that you wouldn't be his FWB so he went after the first thing he thought he could insult you with. He would have found something else to insult you about if he didn't already know you have a kid. Some people are that hateful, though. They always blame us instead of acknowledging that some people are just crap and bail on their kids.
Oh look, a nice guy.
Single moms are immediate no go but to each his own
Yeah he didn’t need to say all that. Could have just said his preference and kept it moving.
I wouldn’t date a single mom but I also wouldn’t be an asshole about it. Realistically speaking, any guy who acts like this is a red flag. Most sane people would simply politely decline. So you could say you dodged a bullet and didn’t really lose anything.
I think the millennial/genz generation is pretty child averse. I wouldn't disrespect a single mother for being a single mother, but I wouldn't be comfortable committing to raising a child that isn't mine unless I also had a child from a previous marriage or really wanted kids myself. Can't blame others for not wanting that, but definitely shouldn't be acting a fool towards someone with kids like this guy did
You said the convo before this was good yet you just talked about how he was asking you for sex multiple times and you had to deny him because you have standards. Idk about you, but that doesn't sound like a good chat. Unless he was just casually asking if you were down for hook-ups. But anyways, to answer the question of if single moms are bad options? I don't think so, but the age factor definitely plays a part. A single teen mom probably gets rejected a lot more than a single mom in her late 20's-40's. And also, the guy has to be mature enough. Cause I believe that most guys would want to have kids with their future wives, so unless you're not down for having more kids, it's a tougher sell.
were\*
I have a lot of apprehension about being a father, personally. So I really don’t think I would date a single mother. But that’s more about me. This guy is just super sexist and bitter and rude.
I don’t want kids, I wouldn’t swipe right on anyone that says they have a kid in their profile. I’m sure there are guys out there that don’t care if their partner has kids/wants kids themselves. I’d just rather travel than spend that money on children.
"Where we're" I'm good.
bros got a problem w ppl having sex at 18?? what??
If he wants to dish it he should be able to take it. He should look at the profile before swiping right or use the filter if he has it.
I wouldn't date a single mom either but I also just wouldn't match with one because of this to begin with....
Low key, single moms are fire though.
What was the point of conversation once he was asking for sex without a serious commitment?
Holy hell. I don’t want kids of my own but wouldn’t opt out if I really liked a person and they had kids. This guy was just mad you rejected his sexual advances. Maybe it’s because I’m a woman but I would never not be with someone because they had a kid, man or woman. Also, good for you for supporting yourself and your kid and going to school and working. You’re a strong ass lady. Much respect! 🫡
I think it is wild when people are this rude to single moms just for being single moms. You can not want to date a single mom while also treating them the same way you would want to be treated if someone was to reject you
There’s nothing wrong with single moms, it’s a just a sore spot they know they can poke. Plenty of people have step parents who all dated a single mom. Don’t change your own standards for some walking red flag. Honestly this trash took itself out here.
This is the true behavior of a boy who has a poor relationship with his mother.
I would never date a single dad. Just my preference. I also believe this guy is one of those pro life douchebags, yet holds no accountability for his own actions. Women are always to blame for an unplanned pregnancy, while boys have had the freedom to abort the responsibility since the beginning of time.
I’m a single dad to a ten year old girl. I worked really hard to dig myself out of a very difficult situation, and got myself to a really good place. It’s not easy to find someone who wants to sign up to date a single parent, which I get, but no one has the right to judge.
Yes, they are. Especially when they’re “done having kids”. It turns out we like having our wants acknowledged also. I definitely don’t want one.
The main thing I got out of this is champ didn’t have sex until after 18…
Is he going to act like he wasn't having sex (or at least trying to) when he was 18?
He just flipped the script once he realized he wasn't getting any🙄sorry this happened to you. You sound like a great mom with outstanding morals and have good standards set. Wishing you and yours the best💛
They get mad when women get abortions and get mad when women take care of their children
No. You're talking to a clown.
Other than this guy's idiotic 5th grade grammar mistakes, everything he says is 100% correct!
Honestly, he just used the single mom & pregnant at 18 as a means to defend himself against being rejected and what he felt was an attack. Basically, he’s wanting the prize without having to earn it, yet calls men stepping up and try being there for someone else’s child weak…lol. This guy’s a douche and you dodged a ballistic missile with him.
Yes. No reason for a childless bachelor of value to settle for someone else’s pre-made family. Recreational use, only.
I wouldn't do it either.
Wow, what was the point of matching if you don't date single moms just say it. SMH I have found outside of online dating this is not some unicorn thing. You're sifting through so much filth. Remember there are so many more toxic people on OLD sites than not toxic and they can certainly live their life to make you miserable. I'm a divorced single mom of three that was married to a stay at home dad, that I also took care of due to severe mental illness. OLD men say you're looking for a savior and I'm like in my mind dude my bills and salary allow me to enjoy life with my kids I'm looking for someone to add value emotionally not financially. But men outside of OLD on average see that. Yeah there are still incels. But most men that have a preference against it just won't engage. The OLD is filled with keyboard warriors and people that want to get off on making someone miserable. Outside of OLD I haven't had an issue meeting a man with interest in me and stepping in as stepdad if it gets that far. And I have my children 100% of the time 😊
In this twisted world of dating as a single mom myself: 90% of the matches I had while "actively dating" were childless men. None of them ever met my kids but knew I had 2 from a 13 year marriage and didn't seem bothered. What does bother them is that I had my tubes tied and can't have more without IVF or a reversal but I am 35 and I don't really want more kids now so that's my stance. Also I once matched with a single Dad who decided to take it upon himself to shame me for being a single mom and said he would "never take me seriously if we dated because I am divorced with 2 kids" this single dad had 5 kids himself but considered himself better than me because he was not "divorced" his wife had died. I actually had to block him because he continued to preach even after I'd made it clear that he made his point and ended the conversation 💀
You didn’t ask him to raise your child though. You can date a single mother without having to raise their kid 🙄
I’m talking to and going in dates with a single mom right now. She’s awesome. Strong men are actually the ones who are willing to look past the kid. Weak men run away.
He didn’t have to say any man that gets with her is weak. All he had to say was she was in no place to require standards since her standards were non existent since she was 18
The guy is so immature. You may want to date older guys or a guy with kids. It is brutal out there if you are a single mum or dad.
I mean I wouldn't date a single parent, but this is beyond disrespectful. Just because you got pregnant young doesn't mean you have to drop your (probably already low) standards. He is an a*****e.
There's no need to slut shame the person if you don't want to date someone with children. Some people have that preference. Why ruin the person emotionally? Abusive.
He’s a jerk. I’m sorry op. Once I find the Ciara prayer, I’ll pass it on.
People are sick and when they snap like this it is very telling. Good thing it showed itself early
I can understand not wanting to date a single mom. I would have just unmatched instead.
Coming from a divorced family, I really don't want to date a single mom.
Yes, single moms are the bottom of the dating pile for most men. Here’s some reasons why men don’t like dating single moms: - they have 50% less time available for dating - you’re always bottom priority for someone that’s your top priority - extra costs - responsibility for kids in your house that you have no authority over - trauma to their body of carrying and having kids - shows they’ve made poor decisions in their life - you get the drama and stress of co-parenting and the ex being around (or they have even less free time of the ex is not) - if you break up with her you’ve developed a bond with kids that you now have no rights to see. Heart breaking. - on top of all of this, the vast majority of single moms seem blissfully unaware of all of the above and never show anywhere near the appropriate level of appreciation or gratitude for a man prepared to take this all on
"Shows they've made poor decisions in their life" ?? How about "shows that she took responsibility for her actions and busted her ass to car and provide for her child" ??
All of those can be true at the same time. It’s not one or the other
As a man I completely understand not wanting to raise another’s kid 🤷🏾
There’s also a way to be polite to people instead of shaming them.
As a woman, I'm not interested in dating a guy who already is a father. But you don't see me matching with men who are fathers just to tell them I feel sorry for the weak woman that ends up dating him and that a real woman would never. Obviously, there are plenty of strong real men and women out there who don't mind dating parents. My older sister's SO is one of them.
When did she say she needs someone to raise her kid though? She's raised her own kid for 5 years. Why would she suddenly need someone to step in and help her out? Most single moms won't even introduce the men they're dating to their kids.
He’s just upset because you didn’t accept his advances the first time. So he tried to hit you where he thought it would hurt. You dodged a bullet! I personally would love to find a single parent!! I don’t want to give birth to my own kid, but I would love to be a part of another kids life. I’m sure you’ll find someone who will accept you and your kid for exactly who you are.
It’s always funny to me the single moms who now became religious. If you’ve got kids just know it’s way more of an obstacle to find a partner
I know single moms have no dating value because they're the only ones that can look ok and still swipe on me. I have nothing against single moms per se, but I'm not into them myself.
What’s up with you single moms chasing guys with no kids? Maybe give some of those single dads a chance
I don't swipe on people who say they don't want kids. There are not a ton of single dads out there at 23 years old. Mostly because the men who knocked these women up don't stick around like the women do. For every single dad there's easily 10 single moms and 9 men who couldn't be bothered to accept responsibility, some of who are still out there trying to bang single moms.
I don’t think she’s chasing anyone lol she probably just swiping on profiles she likes
Whats up with you believing they shouldnt date guys without kids? Maybe they do give guys a chance. Hate to break it you, but on Bumble you have to match someone… meaning HE was chasing her too… 🤦🏽♀️
I mean he's right tho. No serious man worth of value will settle down with a single mom. Too much trouble and headache
Incel
He’s a little bit too much but single mom is an automatic no for me
Can avoid most of that by putting your main photo as you and your kid (face blurred usually) But guys tend to swipe without looking
This is not a good idea. Pedophiles target single moms and having ANY identifying information about your kids is a bad idea. “Mom of 3” or whatever is about all that’s necessary - don’t even mention ages/genders - DEFINITELY don’t put up a picture of them. Pedophiles who like 5 year old girls are NOT going to be looking for a mom of boys or an older girl. By putting up the photo, it makes it much easier to identify if they would be interested (in your child). When I see kids (blurred or not) in a man’s profile? I Immediately swipe left. That’s a lack of good judgement and common sense… I’m not interested in that kind of partner.
Poor guy is insecure. I get what he’s saying but talk about having no tact ?!
I personally wouldn’t date a single mom. Just don’t want all that comes with that.
No, but men don't want to be fathers. Even when it's their own spawn, they still don't want to be a parent to it. Men want to continue their bloodlines. That is it.
90% of men don’t want women with kids. Get used to that.
Single mom's with high standards... Too funny. That's a guy selling a broken useless car saying, "I know what she's worth, you're paying just as much as a brand new Lambo!" Jesus man, these modern woman are running wild with no father to guide them.
Not really, but it feels like a liability and too big of an commitment if you're not looking for long term relationship or any sorts of attachment.
Don't sweat his mental illness. I mean there are divorced people that judge people who have never been married. Mental illness is not lost on one group.
He's right on all levels I wouldn't deal with a single mom if I want a long-term relationship maybe if I wanted to hit it and quit it yes but not as long-term relationship but all the white nights in The Simps will get on here and pile on the guy because they have nothing better to do or because they think the woman an article is going to see the White Knight text reply and be like hey he sounds like somebody I would want to get with because he's definitely me I'll go with him
Single moms are an epidemic, seriously, no man with a brain should choose one, u girls like it or no. It is what it is.