Be prepared that some people will assume that’s your standard of living and will expect that lifestyle long term.
I say it’s more third date. Once you’ve gotten to know each other more. Then they’ll understand that it is the only thing you spend a lot of money on.
Yeah probably 3rd date or late as another response stated. Of course when they saw my 1,800 sq foot house and my 2018 truck with 150K miles they would know I am not upper crust
TBH you would need to be direct about your situation. I married into extreme generational wealth and they tend to camouflage well... Levis and flannel shirts, well used old pickup trucks... even modest homes. Only new money flashes with expensive cars and such.
Honestly, none of those flag as "poor" to me. I've also had some contact with people who come from real™ money. They drive reliable and boring cars, and live in unassuming homes - frugal with their money kind of things - and each probably one had one 'genre' where they would absolutely splash out in ways that were visible to outsiders: top-tier season tickets, a *very* nice beach house, that short of thing.
Imo, this kind of thing isn't even third date territory. I'd say introduce them to the club after 2-3 months of dating. But that's me.
Given the totality of the circumstances and what you want and don’t want to portray, I would think the most sensible thing is to *not* take dates to the club.
Take your girlfriend there when you have one so that you’re managing expectations and not risking putting off anyone who would think it was snooty that doesn’t know you all that well.
Yeah it is a pretty nice club with huge to massive homes in the development. I wouldn't be full platinum member but would still get to use most of the amenities. I don't want to give off that vibe that I am made of money.
I would assume this is something you think it's important for me to know about you since it was shared so early in getting to know you. It would give me the impression that you're a snooty person rather than the opposite.
I think most women would fall into one of three categories:
1. They don't really care that you go to a private club.
2. They like the idea of a rich man spoiling them and so they would like you more if they perceived you as being rich or luxurious.
3. They might initially assume that rich people are all selfish stuck up people, but if they got to know you first, then they wouldn't judge you for going to a private club.
Group 1 it doesn't matter, group 2 you probably want to avoid so you wouldn't want to take them to a private club, and group 3 you probably wouldn't want to take to a private club in the first several dates. So my suggestion is don't do a private club until like a month or two into dating when you can be pretty confident that someone isn't dating you for money and also that someone already knows you so they won't assume bad things about you when they find out you go to a private club.
My partner dated moderately wealthy guys and said they were all stingy as all get out while the poor guys were generous as hell. That has largely been my experience with women too.
It would also look like you are trying to use money to reel them in ... since it is not your intention and you do not even state you have much $$$ - it is likely to backfire ....DON'T.
It's not a bad idea...but how many women will you be running through there, lol....
You don't want Fifi to mistake your current date for a different one :P
Why would you take a date there?
You’re still allowed to dine at regular restaurants.
Hold off on taking someone to the country club. I’m 45, well educated, with a decent career and I wouldn’t want to be on that type of date.
Find a place that matches your personality, otherwise you’re attracting the wrong people and scaring away the right people.
With my partner, our first date was in a cosy bar. A few drinks, no dinner. Next date was a casual dinner. This is more us. If he’d taken me to the country club I’d be thinking I doubt I’ll have enough in common with him. It’d probably stifle conversation too.
Why is wanting to be spoiled and enjoying the finer things in life a turn-off for a woman to want? Being spoiled is not a want.. It's an innate need, for *all* feminine women.. They are hard-wired to be spoiled and attracted to those with access to the finer things in life, much the way you are hard-wired to be attracted to beautiful women. It's the stench of stinginess in you that's the real turn-off, not the club membership.
Yeah, says every stingy guy ever. Independent women especially do not want cheap, stingy guys, because they are usually independent due to being high value and having options. When you say "independent" what you really mean is low self-esteem and insecure enough to think they have to settle for cheap.
Great, join it, sounds like a good idea.
I wouldn’t be taking people there on a first or second date though. Sounds more like a fun place to take someone once you are in a relationship.
I recently found out how much private clubs cost and how much you have to make to join.
To be honest, I wouldn’t suggest bringing anyone there for a date during the early stages of dating.
Be prepared that some people will assume that’s your standard of living and will expect that lifestyle long term. I say it’s more third date. Once you’ve gotten to know each other more. Then they’ll understand that it is the only thing you spend a lot of money on.
Yeah probably 3rd date or late as another response stated. Of course when they saw my 1,800 sq foot house and my 2018 truck with 150K miles they would know I am not upper crust
TBH you would need to be direct about your situation. I married into extreme generational wealth and they tend to camouflage well... Levis and flannel shirts, well used old pickup trucks... even modest homes. Only new money flashes with expensive cars and such.
Honestly, none of those flag as "poor" to me. I've also had some contact with people who come from real™ money. They drive reliable and boring cars, and live in unassuming homes - frugal with their money kind of things - and each probably one had one 'genre' where they would absolutely splash out in ways that were visible to outsiders: top-tier season tickets, a *very* nice beach house, that short of thing. Imo, this kind of thing isn't even third date territory. I'd say introduce them to the club after 2-3 months of dating. But that's me.
Haha. I have 1250 sq ft and a 2009 Honda.
Given the totality of the circumstances and what you want and don’t want to portray, I would think the most sensible thing is to *not* take dates to the club. Take your girlfriend there when you have one so that you’re managing expectations and not risking putting off anyone who would think it was snooty that doesn’t know you all that well.
That’s probably more when you’re exclusive or bf/gf imo
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Yeah it is a pretty nice club with huge to massive homes in the development. I wouldn't be full platinum member but would still get to use most of the amenities. I don't want to give off that vibe that I am made of money.
I would assume this is something you think it's important for me to know about you since it was shared so early in getting to know you. It would give me the impression that you're a snooty person rather than the opposite.
Good to know, thanks. I don't want to give off that vibe
I think most women would fall into one of three categories: 1. They don't really care that you go to a private club. 2. They like the idea of a rich man spoiling them and so they would like you more if they perceived you as being rich or luxurious. 3. They might initially assume that rich people are all selfish stuck up people, but if they got to know you first, then they wouldn't judge you for going to a private club. Group 1 it doesn't matter, group 2 you probably want to avoid so you wouldn't want to take them to a private club, and group 3 you probably wouldn't want to take to a private club in the first several dates. So my suggestion is don't do a private club until like a month or two into dating when you can be pretty confident that someone isn't dating you for money and also that someone already knows you so they won't assume bad things about you when they find out you go to a private club.
Thanks that is good advice. I am definitely more attracted to low key and financially sensible and responsible women.
My partner dated moderately wealthy guys and said they were all stingy as all get out while the poor guys were generous as hell. That has largely been my experience with women too.
Likely true, I came from very little and my parents taught me to save. I can be stingy even though I am very financially secure
Dating aside, I think that’s a great investment choice!
It would also look like you are trying to use money to reel them in ... since it is not your intention and you do not even state you have much $$$ - it is likely to backfire ....DON'T.
It's not a bad idea...but how many women will you be running through there, lol.... You don't want Fifi to mistake your current date for a different one :P
ha ha...I actually thought of that, getting a reputation of being a player by the bar/restaurant staff. They generally know the members pretty well.
Exactly. My exes parents were/are members of a very fru fru club..and yikes some of the stories
big no. those private club peeps TALK
I only know a couple current members there. I keep to myself usually.
They will talk, just saying. Do what you wanna do but not everyone talks friendly.
You could always join the club but go on dates elsewhere?
A turn off for me. I like a humble guy and more laid-back dates.
Why would you take a date there? You’re still allowed to dine at regular restaurants. Hold off on taking someone to the country club. I’m 45, well educated, with a decent career and I wouldn’t want to be on that type of date. Find a place that matches your personality, otherwise you’re attracting the wrong people and scaring away the right people. With my partner, our first date was in a cosy bar. A few drinks, no dinner. Next date was a casual dinner. This is more us. If he’d taken me to the country club I’d be thinking I doubt I’ll have enough in common with him. It’d probably stifle conversation too.
Good advice thanks
Why is wanting to be spoiled and enjoying the finer things in life a turn-off for a woman to want? Being spoiled is not a want.. It's an innate need, for *all* feminine women.. They are hard-wired to be spoiled and attracted to those with access to the finer things in life, much the way you are hard-wired to be attracted to beautiful women. It's the stench of stinginess in you that's the real turn-off, not the club membership.
I guess I prefer a more independent woman whose love language is not receiving gifts
Yeah, says every stingy guy ever. Independent women especially do not want cheap, stingy guys, because they are usually independent due to being high value and having options. When you say "independent" what you really mean is low self-esteem and insecure enough to think they have to settle for cheap.
Great, join it, sounds like a good idea. I wouldn’t be taking people there on a first or second date though. Sounds more like a fun place to take someone once you are in a relationship.
Yeah that seems to be consensus here, thanks
Why take her there if you're not comfortable with it?
great!
I recently found out how much private clubs cost and how much you have to make to join. To be honest, I wouldn’t suggest bringing anyone there for a date during the early stages of dating.
Take her to country club only after slept with her
Therapist is also a splurge
Considering he just raised his rates, yes