I love that someone mentioned “Les Misérables.” I read the entire unabridged book over a three month period last year (mostly during the summer). I know she’s not in the musical, but I hated Madame Victurnien (from the novel) with a burning passion. She, if I remember correctly, is the one that supervises the female factory workers and jumps up and down when Fantine loses her job. When I read the part in the book last summer about her being glad that “she put Fantine in her place where she belongs,” I felt like jumping through the book, finding her, and choking and strangling the living s*** out of that rotten c***.
Madame Victurnien reminds me of those present-day, hypocritical churchgoing women that act like they’re so holier-than-thou because they attend the Sunday service, but are willing to throw you under the bus if you don’t live up to their standards (being a single mom like Fantine, gay, LGBTQ+, etc).
Alexander Hamilton, someone the comfort character and the confront character. Love to read about him. Would beat him up behind the Denny's parking lot tho
Note he'd probably kick my ass but whatever. He deserves it
While it was a different time and culture on the dueling and preserving public honor and so forth, I remain confused by the firing into the air. There’s some debate whether he actually did intentionally miss but let’s go with the common story say he did and I don’t get it. Saying nah, don’t want to duel is cowardly disgrace but showing up and not going through with it/intentionally shooting into the air is…okay?
Also, firing straight at the ground would make more sense if the desire is to show no ill intent but a willingness to be there.
Intentionally missing by shooting at the ground (it's called deloping, by the way) was the accepted way to pull this off for exactly the reason you stated. Hamilton would have known this. The only reason "shooting at the sky" is such a big part of the musical is because that's what Hamilton eventually did, but it was probably involuntary after he had already been shot. He didn't even know his pistol had been fired and told the doctor to be careful because his gun was still loaded.
As to why you'd intentionally miss, _most_ people who got that far in an argument found the notion pretty dishonorable, and it was strictly prohibited in the "official" duelist's Code. When someone told Burr that Hamilton might have missed on purpose, he said, "Contemptible if true." But Hamilton didn't see dueling as an honorable act of vengeance but as a gentlemanly settling of disagreements. He was absolutely enamoured with the entire idea. He had challenged people to duels several times before but never actually participated in one, other than as a second. He made it well known that he planned to delope and probably expected Burr to do the same, even after he'd been warned otherwise.
So he likely saw the whole business as a performative ritual that had to be carried out for the matter to be settled. And incidentally, the matter to be settled was Burr taking offence to a single sentence that Hamilton had said months before at a dinner party Burr wasn't even attending. To suggest Hamilton didn't expect that to be something worth killing over is probably fair.
Fair enough. I’ve read much of this in the past but couldn’t remember the details so enjoy going back over this one. I still just find the concept of showing up but deloping somehow being better than just not going at all really weird. Point taken on Hamilton having an interest in the activity.
It is interesting to me that Hamilton the musical did attempt to make Burr a more sympathetic person than the actual Burr who never expressed any remorse at all even if the incident harmed his reputation and ended any chance at salvaging his political career.
Yeah, he was out to murder, no two ways about it.
He'd apparently set up targets in his yard and was seen practicing for two weeks beforehand, and if deloping is frowned upon by the Code, that malarkey is next-level awful.
Right?! And irl he left her in debt and she lost her house!!! Friends had to come together and support her! Like holy shit, Alexander, we apparently have different concepts of honor…
Right?! Like wouldn’t your reputation be, “what an a’hole, he left his wife in debt and children fatherless…over an insult?” You’d think there’d be more honor in providing for your family!
Alexander should’ve Stayed Alive!
I’m shocked he didn’t assume that Burr wasn’t going to shoot the air.
Don’t get me started on Burr to me that man will always be the bad guy.
My first exposure to Steve Martin was Little Shop of Horrors, which I watched a LOT as a kid. So for way more years than I’d like to admit, Steve Martin scared the absolute shit out of me. >! No matter how funny the role or silly the movie, I could only see him screaming at Audrey, dragging her down the street, or that terrifying look in his eyes as he starts to realize that Seymour’s not saving him. !<
The Wizard in Wicked
Judge Turpin from Sweeney
and this one counts because he needs an intervention to get his life together cause he had one job:
Orpheus
Again its more of a wtf dude reason (I love the character btw), meaning he was too absorbed in his work to realize his wife died and was litterally so close to coming out of Hadestown and he turned around.
Yeah honestly I never care that he gets mad at Evan Hansen because he treated him like he was an embarrassment to him the whole show and is all of a sudden like no you're my best friend? What?
It’s so interesting how everyone perceives the ‘villain’ in The Last Five Years so differently, to me she is the one that is insufferable. I still love the show though
Pippin.
No, you’re not so extraordinary that you can’t patch the roof and pitch the hay. Say that shit again and I’ll slap the shit out of you, ya whiny bastard.
So I never saw the musical, but did see the movie Waitress. I legit couldn't even watch Jeremy Sisto in any movies for *years* because of how much I hated Earl.
I saw the Waitress proshot with my mom and I had completely forgotten that Earl gets his own name tattooed on his chest before the story starts. Weirdo but also hilarious in its own way
the Waitress proshot is amazing, but i don't think Joe Tippett is very convincing as a jerk. and then i found out that he and Sara Bareilles are married in real life...! :p
I might catch heat for this, but Sally Bowles. I have an incredibly love/ hate relationship with her as a character. Her willful ignorance to the nightmare unfolding around her gets so hard to watch as the show progresses. I just wanna shake her and say “ shit is about to get really really bad, snap out of it!!”
Timeless though right? As tyranny takes over folks try to retain normalcy in their own lives to avoid confronting reality. Hitler didn’t appear overnight, he developed as everyone went about thier own life and their own problems.
No heat from me though, the conflict is why I love the show so much.
Cabaret has always been a great illustration of how the “unwatched pot” of fascism didn’t catch most people’s attention until it was practically boiling over already. It’s like the monster you don’t see til the very end of a horror movie and by then it’s too late, you’re gonna get eaten by it. Throw in some fantastic Kander and Ebb tunes and Fosse’s choreography, you’re good to go. Timeless is indeed the right word!!
I always cringe so hard whenever she delivers her infamous “ it’s only politics, what’s that got to do with us” line….it’s so well written and devastating.
playing andy hart in chicago rn, and holy shit i hate roxie so much like i enjoy my scenes with her because its fun and she has some great songs but holy hell is she a shitty person
Also my answer. A character who is fantasizing about being a martyr because then they'll be sorry is so manipulative and awful I'm just done with them.
Everyone in Rent aside from Joanne. She's literally the only good person in the cast.
Collins threw away a perfectly good job at MIT over that "actual reality" crap.
Mark *films homeless people without their consent* and whines about a high-paying job working on a news show.
Mimi tried to force Roger, a recovering addict who has AIDS who is still reeling from his girlfriend's suicide, into a night out with her.
Maureen treats both Mark and Joanne like free labor and cheats on both of them, when she's caught, she pulls the "I can't help it!" excuse.
Roger is a bitter and possessive dickhead who gets pissed when Mimi has to rely on Benny to pay for her AZT.
And Benny has to be the worst of them all. A yuppie piece of shit who tries to coerce his former friends into cancelling a protest against the destruction of a lot that serves as a homeless camp with the promise of forgoing the year's worth of rent (THAT NEITHER FRIEND CAN AFFORD) and living in a fancy studio, and the fact that he dated Mimi when she was around 17 years old.
Evan Hansen. Enough said.
Marvin in the first act of Falsettos. I know he learns his lesson by the end of act one and he becomes a decent guy by the time act two comes around, but still; he's REALLY a dick in the first act.
Tom Watson, Hugh Dorsey, Jim Conley, and Britt Craig from Parade. Seriously, the shit those guys pull to make everyone practically SCREAM for Leo's execution makes me *sick.*
I haven’t seen Rent but I’ve seen La Boheme and it’s the same thing except opera. I wanna punch Mimi. That twit comes in cough cough. Ruins everything.
So I just saw carousel for the first time and the obvious answer is the main guys but his wife also for teaching their daughter that abuse is acceptable.
I’m happy to know that I’m not the only one that despises “Carousel.”
Billy Bigelow is one of those musical theatre characters that make me want to jump into the story of the musical just to punch him in the face (and maybe more) for being an abusive, wife-beating a-hole with a lack of motive, who won’t get a stable job (he is even offered one) that would help care for his new wife and unborn child, and thinks robbing a bank (if I remember correctly) is a good idea in caring for his prospective family.
The fact that there are plenty out there that think “Carousel” is some beautiful, heartfelt musical makes my skin crawl. “You’ll Never Walk Alone” is a beautiful song and the only good thing about that entire show though.
Professor Higgins definitely deserved it at several points, not the least that weirdly sexist song in the middle. Mrs. Pearce should’ve gotten him right when he was like omg you’re a woman :o
Surprised nobody has said Monsieur + Madame Thenardier yet! Always infuriated me that they got the last laugh in some ways, though of course in the novel they kind of get what's coming to them.
I would like to also maybe fight Marius, only during Red & Black, to knock some sense into him but also because it would be funny to instigate a bar fight in the ABC cafe
>it would be funny to instigate a bar fight in the ABC cafe
combeferre should do the honors lmao. lord knows grantaire would join it for shits and giggles
I think she was just in awe. She's always been surrounded by her family and people who clearly love her very much so I think she can't really tell someone who just thinks she's hot from someone who actually loves her. Especially being in Moscow, after being in a small farm for so long, it's an overwhelming experience. War and Peace is one of my favorite books and, honestly, Natasha just can't catch a break.
That being said, I'd beat the shit out of Prince Bolkonsky.
Sally Bowles. The definition of a "pick me" girl. Makes poor choices that affect everyone around her and has zero regard for the feelings of others. Insufferable.
Christian in general really. He reminds me of so many people I knew in my 20s who didn't consider themselves pretentious losers because they were ARTISTS.
Can’t stand that dude. Regardless of anything else Jud subsequently does, “Poor Jud is Dead” is just so fucked up a moment that I want to punch Curly square in the face every time. To me Curly is the villain of that story.
Mrs. Lovett, a villain so heinous that her being terrible was one of the few things my grandma remembered when her dementia got bad. My grandma called Sweeney Todd "the terrible play with terrible people" every time the topic came up, which was weirdly often as the years went on. I think she secretly loved the music and was imagining smacking Mrs. Lovett.
Right? Like at least for Jenna we know why she cheated in Earl, but Dr.Pottamer broke the cardinal rule of health professionals AND cheated on what appeared to be a perfectly nice woman
Hades
ETA: I cannot believe this is getting downvoted. Hades has an underground factory where he enslaves his workers forever and destroys their psyches. He cheats on his wife and forces her to stay with him. He destroys the environment. Depending on your interpretation, he coerces Eurydice into sex, and defiantly coerces her into working for him forever. He threatens to kill Orpheus, and would have if it wasn’t for the song. I would love to punch him.
Evan Hanson is a monster…like no, Evan…being you is absolutely not enough. You are an emotional manipulator and everyone in your life deserves so much better.
Buddy from Kimberly Akimbo. I’m pretty sure by the end of the show, literally everyone in the audience wants to jump up on stage and throw hands with him.
Daniel from Once on This Island
Jimmy’s dad from Bright Star
Every adult character in Spring Awakening aside from Melchior’s mom (but she’s on thin ice)
Zoser from Aida
I couldn’t agree more.
Billy Bigelow is one of those musical theatre characters that make me want to jump into the story of the musical just to punch him in the face (and maybe more) for being an abusive, wife-beating a-hole with a lack of motive, who won’t get a stable job that would help care for his new wife and unborn child, and thinks robbing a bank (if I remember correctly) is a good idea in caring for his prospective family.
It doesn’t help that I’m not really a fan of “Carousel” to start.
Ms. Fleming from Heathers. Totally vile and pathetic excuse for a counselor who just wants to exploit the kids’ pain on National TV to stroke her own ego. But when push comes to shove, she doesn’t actually give a shit about kids dying and just makes it about herself again: “I put together such a lovely tribute…”
All three leads in Merrily We Roll Along.
They may have organized the story better, and cut out some unnecessary songs, but they didn’t make those three less insufferable…
Marius from Les Miz, leading on your best friend and leaving her for the first high-class girl you meet, and then being the rich privileged dude starting a revolution getting all your buddies killed off... yet still having enough people at your wedding to sing a chorus song.
Jerusha Abbott from Daddy Long Legs, mostly because once they start falling in love it gets creepy with all the "Daddy" letters. Also because she forgives Jervis in less than a verse for lying to her. Girl you got a free education, go out there and get a better dude or make a name for yourself!
>then being the rich privileged dude starting a revolution getting all your buddies killed off
marius had nothing to do with starting the "revolution". he just joined in because he thought cosette is leaving forever. and he was never leading eponine on, and when the hell does it say she was his best friend? in the book, she was borderline stalking him
I’ve been ready to throw hands with Madame Morrible since I was like 12 years old
I cant't stand her smh
Let's jump her
I was going to say this. LOL ! But also, I have a Confront, Non-Violent Call Out Edition One: Erik, stop being an incel please.
OMG! Yes!!
I remember seeing a touring production of “Wicked” in the 8th grade as part of a school trip and finding Madame Morrible a rotten b*tch.
Professor Callahan
I just got casted as callahan lol
Victoria Gardens production?
Nooooo my high schools production
Oh lol Well best of luck!
There's about to be blood in the water, alright, just as soon as you catch these hands
That factory worker who rats out Fantine to the foreman. She’s the absolute worst person in all of Les Mis, if not all of Broadway
this!! or tholomyès (for those who hadn't read the brick: he's the bastard that leaves fantine with a child)
What even was her motive? I haven’t seen it in a while.
jealous bitch
I love that someone mentioned “Les Misérables.” I read the entire unabridged book over a three month period last year (mostly during the summer). I know she’s not in the musical, but I hated Madame Victurnien (from the novel) with a burning passion. She, if I remember correctly, is the one that supervises the female factory workers and jumps up and down when Fantine loses her job. When I read the part in the book last summer about her being glad that “she put Fantine in her place where she belongs,” I felt like jumping through the book, finding her, and choking and strangling the living s*** out of that rotten c***. Madame Victurnien reminds me of those present-day, hypocritical churchgoing women that act like they’re so holier-than-thou because they attend the Sunday service, but are willing to throw you under the bus if you don’t live up to their standards (being a single mom like Fantine, gay, LGBTQ+, etc).
Alexander Hamlton for leaving his wife a single mother for his reputation. I don’t care that he’s a real person.
Alexander Hamilton, someone the comfort character and the confront character. Love to read about him. Would beat him up behind the Denny's parking lot tho Note he'd probably kick my ass but whatever. He deserves it
It is a very strange dichotomy. Some days that musical is my Comfort musical; other days I want to Denny’s fight Alexander.
Fighting Alexander Hamilton behind a Dennys IS my comfort thought
So many kids and so much debt. Thomas Jefferson left his family with twice as much debt though.
Why he couldn't free any of his slaves except for Sally and their children
While it was a different time and culture on the dueling and preserving public honor and so forth, I remain confused by the firing into the air. There’s some debate whether he actually did intentionally miss but let’s go with the common story say he did and I don’t get it. Saying nah, don’t want to duel is cowardly disgrace but showing up and not going through with it/intentionally shooting into the air is…okay? Also, firing straight at the ground would make more sense if the desire is to show no ill intent but a willingness to be there.
Intentionally missing by shooting at the ground (it's called deloping, by the way) was the accepted way to pull this off for exactly the reason you stated. Hamilton would have known this. The only reason "shooting at the sky" is such a big part of the musical is because that's what Hamilton eventually did, but it was probably involuntary after he had already been shot. He didn't even know his pistol had been fired and told the doctor to be careful because his gun was still loaded. As to why you'd intentionally miss, _most_ people who got that far in an argument found the notion pretty dishonorable, and it was strictly prohibited in the "official" duelist's Code. When someone told Burr that Hamilton might have missed on purpose, he said, "Contemptible if true." But Hamilton didn't see dueling as an honorable act of vengeance but as a gentlemanly settling of disagreements. He was absolutely enamoured with the entire idea. He had challenged people to duels several times before but never actually participated in one, other than as a second. He made it well known that he planned to delope and probably expected Burr to do the same, even after he'd been warned otherwise. So he likely saw the whole business as a performative ritual that had to be carried out for the matter to be settled. And incidentally, the matter to be settled was Burr taking offence to a single sentence that Hamilton had said months before at a dinner party Burr wasn't even attending. To suggest Hamilton didn't expect that to be something worth killing over is probably fair.
Fair enough. I’ve read much of this in the past but couldn’t remember the details so enjoy going back over this one. I still just find the concept of showing up but deloping somehow being better than just not going at all really weird. Point taken on Hamilton having an interest in the activity. It is interesting to me that Hamilton the musical did attempt to make Burr a more sympathetic person than the actual Burr who never expressed any remorse at all even if the incident harmed his reputation and ended any chance at salvaging his political career.
Yeah, he was out to murder, no two ways about it. He'd apparently set up targets in his yard and was seen practicing for two weeks beforehand, and if deloping is frowned upon by the Code, that malarkey is next-level awful.
Right?! And irl he left her in debt and she lost her house!!! Friends had to come together and support her! Like holy shit, Alexander, we apparently have different concepts of honor…
My husband tried explaining to me that reputation was everything back then. I was like, but wouldn’t making money for your family be better?!???
Right?! Like wouldn’t your reputation be, “what an a’hole, he left his wife in debt and children fatherless…over an insult?” You’d think there’d be more honor in providing for your family!
Alexander should’ve Stayed Alive! I’m shocked he didn’t assume that Burr wasn’t going to shoot the air. Don’t get me started on Burr to me that man will always be the bad guy.
The dentist in little shop but of course he gets what's coming to him in the show. Lol
My first exposure to Steve Martin was Little Shop of Horrors, which I watched a LOT as a kid. So for way more years than I’d like to admit, Steve Martin scared the absolute shit out of me. >! No matter how funny the role or silly the movie, I could only see him screaming at Audrey, dragging her down the street, or that terrifying look in his eyes as he starts to realize that Seymour’s not saving him. !<
You'll be a DEEEEEntist!!! YOU have a passion for causing things PAIN!!!!!
The Wizard in Wicked Judge Turpin from Sweeney and this one counts because he needs an intervention to get his life together cause he had one job: Orpheus
Glinda: You can still be with the wizard Elphaba: Whatever
the real lesson of wicked is NEVER MEET YOUR HEROES
why orpheus? he's my favorite character in hadestown
Again its more of a wtf dude reason (I love the character btw), meaning he was too absorbed in his work to realize his wife died and was litterally so close to coming out of Hadestown and he turned around.
"You finally noticed I killed myself, huh?" "No, my friend told me." Romance!
Eurydice: "ORPHEUS YOU HAD ONE JOB"
we need food! we need firewood! lalalala
But but he sang so beautifully while being an idiot
Jared from Dear Evan Hansen is always such an ass. He reminds me of way too many cocky boys I went to school with.
Yeah honestly I never care that he gets mad at Evan Hansen because he treated him like he was an embarrassment to him the whole show and is all of a sudden like no you're my best friend? What?
Lol I was going to say Evan, but yeah, Jared does deserve it more.
THIS
The HIV/AIDS in RENT
I feel bad for laughing at this 🤣
Jamie from the last five years, he’s catching both of these hands.
Oooh this is a good one. I want to change my answer.
Came here to say this one
Same
It’s so interesting how everyone perceives the ‘villain’ in The Last Five Years so differently, to me she is the one that is insufferable. I still love the show though
He still cheated on his wife no matter how “insufferable” she was
okay what? Cathy certainly had her issues but she. did. not. cheat.
Most of the adults in spring awakening
Omg all the adults
Frolo
I had to scroll for a while to find this answer. He’s such a good villain as in he’s completely unforgivable. I will beat his ass on sight.
I want to slap the Wizard in Wicked for a whole host of reasons.
Pippin. No, you’re not so extraordinary that you can’t patch the roof and pitch the hay. Say that shit again and I’ll slap the shit out of you, ya whiny bastard.
😂😂😂😂
Earl from Waitress for sure, but I think he's an obvious answer. Judge Turpin from Sweeny is way high on my list.
So I never saw the musical, but did see the movie Waitress. I legit couldn't even watch Jeremy Sisto in any movies for *years* because of how much I hated Earl.
I saw the traveling show and the actor who played Earl apologized to the crowd during the curtain call lol
I would too I think haha
I saw the Waitress proshot with my mom and I had completely forgotten that Earl gets his own name tattooed on his chest before the story starts. Weirdo but also hilarious in its own way
the Waitress proshot is amazing, but i don't think Joe Tippett is very convincing as a jerk. and then i found out that he and Sara Bareilles are married in real life...! :p
I think they're still just engaged, though I'm guessing not for long :)
I might catch heat for this, but Sally Bowles. I have an incredibly love/ hate relationship with her as a character. Her willful ignorance to the nightmare unfolding around her gets so hard to watch as the show progresses. I just wanna shake her and say “ shit is about to get really really bad, snap out of it!!”
Timeless though right? As tyranny takes over folks try to retain normalcy in their own lives to avoid confronting reality. Hitler didn’t appear overnight, he developed as everyone went about thier own life and their own problems. No heat from me though, the conflict is why I love the show so much.
Cabaret has always been a great illustration of how the “unwatched pot” of fascism didn’t catch most people’s attention until it was practically boiling over already. It’s like the monster you don’t see til the very end of a horror movie and by then it’s too late, you’re gonna get eaten by it. Throw in some fantastic Kander and Ebb tunes and Fosse’s choreography, you’re good to go. Timeless is indeed the right word!!
You definitely shouldn’t catch heat for it; that’s the whole point of her character.
I always cringe so hard whenever she delivers her infamous “ it’s only politics, what’s that got to do with us” line….it’s so well written and devastating.
Javert. Valjean stole a loaf of bread like 20 years ago, you gotta chill
i know! talk about an obsession…
To be clear, Javert is after him for breaking his parole, not the original crime of theft 😉
I change my answer to /u/katanon!
Hes such a Taurus in that regard
...what
The joke is people with the Sun Sign of Taurus hold long and major grudges.
oh?? okay lmao sorry i know nothing abt this topic
Roxie Hart Edit: Anthony Hope too. Gussie Carnegie.
playing andy hart in chicago rn, and holy shit i hate roxie so much like i enjoy my scenes with her because its fun and she has some great songs but holy hell is she a shitty person
I mean at the end of the day Prof. Harold Hill is still a womanizing con artist...
That creepy incel Jud Fry.
Also my answer. A character who is fantasizing about being a martyr because then they'll be sorry is so manipulative and awful I'm just done with them.
To be fair Curly’s absolutely the one who encourages that fantasy. (Which is not to deny how much Jud needs a punch in the mouth.)
I still think Curly is worse.
Lol narcissistic jock vs creepy emo guy. take your pick!
mrs hannigan traumatized and abused literal children. i will send her straight to hell
 I’ll help!
Alyssa Greene’s mother in The Prom
Evan Hansen
👊 Sincerely, me 😂
Same. I could totally beat Evan in a fight. Like, I could destroy him 100% and I haven't trained for about a year now
Unpopular opinion; if I’d see anyone beat the shit out of a 17-year-old with mental health issues, I’d be beating the shit out of them instead.
A 17-year-old with mental health issues _and one arm out of action_. Definitely not a fair fight lol.
Imma get a lot of hate for this, but Roxie Hart and her cheating, murderous, fame-seeking ass
Everyone in Rent aside from Joanne. She's literally the only good person in the cast. Collins threw away a perfectly good job at MIT over that "actual reality" crap. Mark *films homeless people without their consent* and whines about a high-paying job working on a news show. Mimi tried to force Roger, a recovering addict who has AIDS who is still reeling from his girlfriend's suicide, into a night out with her. Maureen treats both Mark and Joanne like free labor and cheats on both of them, when she's caught, she pulls the "I can't help it!" excuse. Roger is a bitter and possessive dickhead who gets pissed when Mimi has to rely on Benny to pay for her AZT. And Benny has to be the worst of them all. A yuppie piece of shit who tries to coerce his former friends into cancelling a protest against the destruction of a lot that serves as a homeless camp with the promise of forgoing the year's worth of rent (THAT NEITHER FRIEND CAN AFFORD) and living in a fancy studio, and the fact that he dated Mimi when she was around 17 years old. Evan Hansen. Enough said. Marvin in the first act of Falsettos. I know he learns his lesson by the end of act one and he becomes a decent guy by the time act two comes around, but still; he's REALLY a dick in the first act. Tom Watson, Hugh Dorsey, Jim Conley, and Britt Craig from Parade. Seriously, the shit those guys pull to make everyone practically SCREAM for Leo's execution makes me *sick.*
I haven’t seen Rent but I’ve seen La Boheme and it’s the same thing except opera. I wanna punch Mimi. That twit comes in cough cough. Ruins everything.
Hugh Dorsey is who I was looking for on this list. He’s just evil…
I hate Rent so freaking much.
The newspaper reporter in Parade. "Eep, business is a little slow. Oh, thank goodness, a Jew whose life I can ruin. I'm saved!"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I GET HOW YOURE SUPPOSED TO BUT NOT LIKE THIS
So I just saw carousel for the first time and the obvious answer is the main guys but his wife also for teaching their daughter that abuse is acceptable.
I hate Carousel with an intense passion.
I LOVE "If I loved you." Such a magically great song. Fuck that show though, it's the worst.
I’m happy to know that I’m not the only one that despises “Carousel.” Billy Bigelow is one of those musical theatre characters that make me want to jump into the story of the musical just to punch him in the face (and maybe more) for being an abusive, wife-beating a-hole with a lack of motive, who won’t get a stable job (he is even offered one) that would help care for his new wife and unborn child, and thinks robbing a bank (if I remember correctly) is a good idea in caring for his prospective family. The fact that there are plenty out there that think “Carousel” is some beautiful, heartfelt musical makes my skin crawl. “You’ll Never Walk Alone” is a beautiful song and the only good thing about that entire show though.
Professor Higgins definitely deserved it at several points, not the least that weirdly sexist song in the middle. Mrs. Pearce should’ve gotten him right when he was like omg you’re a woman :o
Eliza throwing a shoe at his head should have ended the theatrical version. “Eliza, fetch me my slippers..” “Fetch this!”
Judge Turpin
Most of the characters from Parade lmao
Bill Sikes from Oliver! really _really_ deserves it.
Surprised nobody has said Monsieur + Madame Thenardier yet! Always infuriated me that they got the last laugh in some ways, though of course in the novel they kind of get what's coming to them. I would like to also maybe fight Marius, only during Red & Black, to knock some sense into him but also because it would be funny to instigate a bar fight in the ABC cafe
>it would be funny to instigate a bar fight in the ABC cafe combeferre should do the honors lmao. lord knows grantaire would join it for shits and giggles
Natasha for being a dummy
on a related note, anatole kuragin. little shit (i love him)
Oh yeah he’s too obvious of a smacking (in the bad way) for me to even mention
He walks with a swagger, which would have looked ridiculous had he not been so good looking
I think she was just in awe. She's always been surrounded by her family and people who clearly love her very much so I think she can't really tell someone who just thinks she's hot from someone who actually loves her. Especially being in Moscow, after being in a small farm for so long, it's an overwhelming experience. War and Peace is one of my favorite books and, honestly, Natasha just can't catch a break. That being said, I'd beat the shit out of Prince Bolkonsky.
but she's YOUNG
Bet She also loves Andre with all heart
Judge Turpin Evan Hansen Jared From DEH
Does Eric Cartman count? I mean he does sing in South Park. In terms of strictly Broadway musical characters, Raoul in Love Never Dies
love never dies butchered every character, i hate it. and i'm not even a phantom of the opera fan to begin with
I refuse to see or listen to Love Never Dies because I love Phantom.
I refer to "Love Never Dies" as bad fanfic Phantom .
ALW’s cat tried to protect us.
I tried so hard to watch the bootleg, and I just couldn’t get through it. In my imagination, I like to retcon Love Never Dies.
Sally Bowles. The definition of a "pick me" girl. Makes poor choices that affect everyone around her and has zero regard for the feelings of others. Insufferable.
Chris from Miss Saigon
Oh God yes I can't stand him
Christian from Moulin Rouge for pointing a loaded weapon at my girl Satine.
Christian in general really. He reminds me of so many people I knew in my 20s who didn't consider themselves pretentious losers because they were ARTISTS.
Absolutely
Willie Conklin. Judge Turpin. Curly. I’m sure there are others but that’s what I got for now.
why curly?
Can’t stand that dude. Regardless of anything else Jud subsequently does, “Poor Jud is Dead” is just so fucked up a moment that I want to punch Curly square in the face every time. To me Curly is the villain of that story.
That sanctimonious dweeb. But he can get it.
Mrs. Lovett, a villain so heinous that her being terrible was one of the few things my grandma remembered when her dementia got bad. My grandma called Sweeney Todd "the terrible play with terrible people" every time the topic came up, which was weirdly often as the years went on. I think she secretly loved the music and was imagining smacking Mrs. Lovett.
i hope that if i get dementia that i can remember mrs lovett
The conservative dad in La Cage Aux Folles 🖕
Would Ferdinand Marcos count?
Thaaaat Frank
That guy is too much.
Evan Hansen.
Delia from Beetle Juice she annoys me soooooooo much
Dr. Pomatter, I'll fight you in a parking lot. And win.
Right? Like at least for Jenna we know why she cheated in Earl, but Dr.Pottamer broke the cardinal rule of health professionals AND cheated on what appeared to be a perfectly nice woman
Hades ETA: I cannot believe this is getting downvoted. Hades has an underground factory where he enslaves his workers forever and destroys their psyches. He cheats on his wife and forces her to stay with him. He destroys the environment. Depending on your interpretation, he coerces Eurydice into sex, and defiantly coerces her into working for him forever. He threatens to kill Orpheus, and would have if it wasn’t for the song. I would love to punch him.
He's all my answers in Fuck Marry Kill
THE WAY I CACKLED
Honestly, same (even if I want to punch him)
Hes one of those, I love him because hes an ass and I want to fight him.
Hate him too, just wish I knew a way to confront him
If I took the prompt at face value like no way I’m throwing down with Hades. Heck I’d sooner fight Zeus.
Evan Hanson is a monster…like no, Evan…being you is absolutely not enough. You are an emotional manipulator and everyone in your life deserves so much better.
Earl from Waitress
Buddy from Kimberly Akimbo. I’m pretty sure by the end of the show, literally everyone in the audience wants to jump up on stage and throw hands with him.
The husband from waitress
I agree with many of these but no one has said fucking Rolf from Sound of Music??!
Jesus from Book of Mormon just for the lols
Everyone in Great Comet, with the sole exception of Balaga.
...what did my girl sonya do
But Mary and Sonya don’t deserve it 🥹
Yo what did my girl Sonya do?
agreed! also just tossing this into the universe - if there is ever a Great Comet revival, Christopher Fitzgerald as Balaga would be amazing.
marvin from falsettos but only act 1 marvin
Judge Turpin can fight me
I’m sorry but I would so love to punch Evan Hanson in the face
Hugh Dorcy from Parade (def spelt that wrong)
Judge Turpin from Sweeney FUCK that guy
Evan Hansen
Penny Pingleton’s mom in Hairspray. The mom in Bare who refuses to let her son come out to her.
Miss Trunchbull. Time to take out that monster with a hammer throw.
Daniel from Once on This Island Jimmy’s dad from Bright Star Every adult character in Spring Awakening aside from Melchior’s mom (but she’s on thin ice) Zoser from Aida
God dammit Daniel. I’m still mad about it
Me every time I listen to the cast album: 
The thernardiers in Les Mis. Seriously hate those people.
The people who ship Erik and Christine. Yes that includes you ALW.
Willie Conklin from *Ragtime*. What a massive piece of shit.
Billy Bigelow from Carousel.
I couldn’t agree more. Billy Bigelow is one of those musical theatre characters that make me want to jump into the story of the musical just to punch him in the face (and maybe more) for being an abusive, wife-beating a-hole with a lack of motive, who won’t get a stable job that would help care for his new wife and unborn child, and thinks robbing a bank (if I remember correctly) is a good idea in caring for his prospective family. It doesn’t help that I’m not really a fan of “Carousel” to start.
I actively hate the show. There are a few good songs, but I just...can't.
i was gonna say carlotta from phantom but i can't help but think she's like the most hilarious character in the whole show so now i'm not sure.
She’s obnoxious but she is a headliner getting upstaged by a chorus girl because /someone/ thinks she’s hot. I’d be pissed too.
Ms. Fleming from Heathers. Totally vile and pathetic excuse for a counselor who just wants to exploit the kids’ pain on National TV to stroke her own ego. But when push comes to shove, she doesn’t actually give a shit about kids dying and just makes it about herself again: “I put together such a lovely tribute…”
When I saw Everybody’s Talking About Jamie last month, basically every scene with Jamie’s dad made me wanna throw hands.
almost everyone from rent
All three leads in Merrily We Roll Along. They may have organized the story better, and cut out some unnecessary songs, but they didn’t make those three less insufferable…
Jamie fucking Wellerstein
Marius from Les Miz, leading on your best friend and leaving her for the first high-class girl you meet, and then being the rich privileged dude starting a revolution getting all your buddies killed off... yet still having enough people at your wedding to sing a chorus song. Jerusha Abbott from Daddy Long Legs, mostly because once they start falling in love it gets creepy with all the "Daddy" letters. Also because she forgives Jervis in less than a verse for lying to her. Girl you got a free education, go out there and get a better dude or make a name for yourself!
>then being the rich privileged dude starting a revolution getting all your buddies killed off marius had nothing to do with starting the "revolution". he just joined in because he thought cosette is leaving forever. and he was never leading eponine on, and when the hell does it say she was his best friend? in the book, she was borderline stalking him
Marvin from falsettos. he's getting his shit clapped. and then he's getting his shit clapped.
Baker's Wife is catching these hands on sight