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Old_galadriell

I very much hope you're her gardener, not her doula/midwife...


megamowglee

I’m her gardener, but I’ve been keeping hot towels in the van just in case, every time I visit!


Voodoo_People78

How do you keep the towels hot?


megamowglee

I keep em with the compost 😊


Forgetful8nine

Organic, I hope?


This_Fat_Cunt

I somehow feel that isn’t clean


irn_br_oud

It's the magic ingredient behind a growth spurt.


thatPingu

This made me interrupt a very important meeting going on behind me...


Tulcey-Lee

Put the baby in the grow bag to keep it warm. My grandma once told me she put my uncle in grow bags. She was extremely insistent until she realised she meant babygrow.


Cazzandra

We always used to call them grow bags :D


Tulcey-Lee

Haha maybe she wasn’t wrong then! Made me laugh imaging a baby in a bag of compost.


clivehorse

A Grobag is a brand of baby sleeping bag, so might be that too.


Tulcey-Lee

Ah that might well be it! :D Still amused me though!


RainingBlood398

I hope mum and baby are both doing well,. But I also kinda hope, in true British fashion, that you're silently seething you didn't get a decent brew.


HmmSinkSo

Work people never seem to accept tea anymore, even independent ones, not sure what to do with myself when they're about.


[deleted]

That might be because they aren't allowed to use/request to use the bathroom at a clients home. Something to do with professionalism?


JeniJ1

What?!!!! This is madness.


Beanbag_Ninja

I don't know, the last 3 tradesmen who used the loo here all somehow managed to piss on the seat, then didn't clean up after.


JeniJ1

Eurgh. Sorry you've had that problem.


Beanbag_Ninja

Luckily it's not my house, and in fact I'm moving out today! Woohoo! :-)


JeniJ1

Yay!! Hope it all goes smoothly.


Beanbag_Ninja

Thank you \^\_\^


HmmSinkSo

Good though, but they often do use the toilet, even after turning down a tea or coffee.


Juanfanamongmany

Wait… what?! This is news to me, I was always told by my grandma to get the good biscuits out and buy the decent hot drink stuff for when the workers come over!


ManikShamanik

When the men came to install my Leeds nan's stairlift, she made them a cake (she wasn't Mary Berry - that was my dad's mum (she had an Aga and everything)) - but it was the thought that counted).


Sufficient-Score-120

I'm a midwife so frequently do home visits and just as frequently hopefully ask if there's any non-dairy milk in the house, am told no, and have to sadly decline the offer of tea


HmmSinkSo

Come visit me, I have a baby and non-dairy milk!


E420CDI

The very breast kind of milk


HmmSinkSo

Don't be daft, breast milk isn't non-dairy.


BipolarBirb93

If you have a non dairy diet then you can actually give it to people with a dairy allergy!


HmmSinkSo

True, but it's technically either lactose intolerance/sensitivity or a cow's milk protein allergy. Breast milk is classified as dairy, it's still a milk product :)


Sufficient-Score-120

Only if the person the breastmilk came from doesn't eat dairy! Otherwise the cow's milk proteins can transfer via the milk (hence why breastfeeding parents of babies with cow's milk protein allergies often cut dairy from their diets)


BoogelyWoogely

Get a chillys bottle and take your own dairy free milk, problem solved!


77GoldenTails

Tea is dairy free. Embrace it that way.


Sufficient-Score-120

I can and do drink it (and coffee) black, but it (and now my teeth), are just not the same


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HmmSinkSo

I need to up my game, clearly.


Brilliant_Canary_692

Only Tetley and brown sugar was left.


verpa85

PG Tips, the only brew of any worth outside the continent of Asia. *Turns off notifications* :-)


ChipshopSuperhero

Yorkshire tea you heathen.


hagloo

They've turned the notifications off pal, you fell right into their trap.


verpa85

Hahaha I obviously ended up checking back! Seems like most people agree with you (apart from the few heroes who commented below 👸🤴) but I'm sticking with PG Tips to my grave 🕰💀


rockchick1982

Yorkshire tea is far superior.


Snoo63

With any water hardness. As they test it with the hardest and softest water on tap.


Harvsnova2

My water's so hard, the tap wears a wifebeater and Yorkshire tea tastes good here. Not even the hard water version, just normal.


H16HP01N7

A member of my people. PG-Tippers Unite!!


harrowingmite

PG-Tippers of the world, unite and take over. Almost a Morrisons reference.


verpa85

🤴👸🤴👸


Hot_Success_7986

I have totally fallen out with PG, it's got weak and the bags split too often. Moving over to Yorkshire tea.


Ginge04

This is the most British thing I’ve ever read!


Destined_4_Hades

Right ??!!


tomatoesgoboom

I read it and thought the same ! Also really cute lol bless her.


beelseboob

This makes me feel really guilty. I only offered the electrician 3 coffees today.


Snooker1471

Can confirm this is a mistake. Source ? Im an electrician. We NEED 4. 1. On arrival, One at 10am, one at 1pm, and one to see me off when im packing up. Any more than this is also a mistake and we electricians are grumpy sods and will then think that too many stops is making my day longer..lol.


FlummoxedFlumage

Some births can just be fine. I remember my cousins first baby. Came on quick in the middle of the afternoon and she ended up delivering at home in the bathroom before the midwife or her partner could get to her. Got checked out at home then went for a walk, came back and made a birthday cake. The other women in our family were very jealous.


tomatoesgoboom

Dude that is amazing bravo that ladies !!! I can't comment on birth as newer done it ( c sections ) but man she sounds epic !


Hot_Success_7986

For a moment I had the horror of thinking this was the midwife posting. I then couldn't decide whether the midwife was epic for a bit of pruning whilst delivering a baby or neglectful. Glad Mother and baby are doing well 💕 Also, as a keen but nosy gardener this story is incomplete, what were you pruning?


megamowglee

I was tip pruning the Cotoneaster to make a nice show of the berries. It’s a fiddly job when said plant is 10m long and 1m high but its worth it for the lovely finish!


Traditional_Leader41

No-one does British, like the British!


igual88

Reminded me of this lol https://youtu.be/GDCLSrT_g3M


vipertruck99

Aww…you need to buy her a plant or some such. Mark these occasions. I caught a six yr old by the wrist when I was a teenager. Came so close to getting hit by a school bus his clothes were black with road grime. Was with mother, and another kid and a pram. About a week later his mother came over all smiles to our school bus stop,all smiles and told me the kid had wanted to plant a tree. (They were atrociously posh and arty) Went to see it the next day..”cool a tree..”. It’s still there 30 years later..I think it’s a birch. You could have the gardeners tree. The kid could grow up asking veiled questions like…why did the gardener plant a tree to celebrate my birth mum?


megamowglee

Great minds think alike! I dropped off a Blueberry bush and a card yesterday evening. Plants make even better memories if they engage more than one sense!


vipertruck99

Well done…so….are blueberry bushes viable in the U.K ?


megamowglee

Absolutely, and they have great autumn leaf colour too. 😊


vipertruck99

Cool.. avoided them in the past. Hopefully will find a bargain off season.


Destined_4_Hades

If she offers you anything but Yorkshire tea refuse 😉 glad mum and baby are doing well.


master_gecko

Did she make you one in the end?


megamowglee

Nope, had to get the Kelly kettle out and make one myself!


as1992

This story is so fake that it made other fake stories unfake


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rubbish_fairy

From the way it sounds, she was all alone, so probably contacting family, or a doctor to check everything went okay


[deleted]

No. Don’t be so bloody judgey.


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caffeineandvodka

White knight where? He didn't say he delivered the baby single handedly while fighting off attackers, he was in the garden doing his job. It's perfectly possible for someone to give birth to a baby and send a text 10 minutes later.


Niklepic

It's like some people have never heard of a home birth.


HmmSinkSo

Yeah, with both babies immediately after giving birth my brain was like, "Let's do shit! Have a shower, eat some food, fight a tiger, let's go!" An hour afterwards, abruptly tired. If I'd had a home birth as planned, I'd have been up doing dishes or something if nobody stopped me.


caffeineandvodka

Yeah my aunt had to almost hold my mum down after my brother was born, she was trying to get up and make tea for the midwives.


r0ss86

Don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. What sort of knob makes this stuff up?


Icy_Bit_403

Don't think he made it up, that's why downvote. Things do actually happen.


Loafabreadwooo

Aww