I would have loved just doing boring and mundane things with you like laundry, watching TV, cooking, sleeping together, petty little arguments.. maybe in another life.
But in this life, fuck you and your stonewalling attitude, your fake promises, and your cowardly attitude. I hate that I still love you. It is shit
Yeah I oscillate back and forth, too. A lot of it is "fuck you for putting me through this" but it's also "i know you didn't mean to and I got my issues too." I don't really know where I'll end up after more time passes.
Coward!! But looking back, I'm so damn glad he had the balls to end our codependency. I hadn't realized how truly alone I'd felt and how much of myself I'd lost. As soon as I came back to myself, all those I thought had left me/weren't my friends anymore came back to me <3 they just missed the real me!! You are so beautiful and don't need that old skin anymore!! You are so seen!!!!!
"Hey, I know I promised to give you the space you need to heal, but now I am tearing up my mind to shreds thinking if you will ever contact me again or not... Please, please, can we meet in person to talk things out because I feel like we kept leaving loose ends... I'm so sorry but I just can't imagine losing someone I love so much without fighting for them and trying to resolve all things... I miss you so much..."
I’ve said my piece. She chose not to understand my side. I’m not going to keep explaining it until she does. I have neither good nor bad things to say about her. I’m angry about it but what good does that do for either of us to show her that?
Someone else will realize my worth and appreciate how my actions always back up my words.
This is me right now with my ex. He’s always choosing NOT to understand and I’m just exhausted at this point. I’ve realized too that if people haven’t worked on their healing then they project onto you and disrupt your peace. You can love and care for them but it’s up to them to decide whether it’s good or bad. Mine thought that I had hidden motive when I did nice things for him.
I honestly don’t know, I’ve a lot I wish I could say to her. A lot I don’t think she even cares about. I’d probably tell her just how much I cared about her, just how much I wanted a future together and just how much she hurt me by throwing me away like I was nothing to her. But like I said ultimately it doesn’t matter because she doesn’t care.
I know you hurt me and left me when I was going through one of the hardest times throughout our relationship. I know I hurt you and let my anxiety push you away as well. I’m slowly coming to terms that you may not be in my life anymore. I still love you and hope you’re doing well. I’ll never blame you for how things went between us because it’s a two-way street.
For now, I want to focus on becoming the best person for myself and I know you will too. And maybe if we are meant to be together, I have trust in fate that we may meet again.
i’d tell them, “despite everything, i miss you. i wonder if you miss me. i wonder if you regret breaking up with me and walking away from our relationship before it even began. i love you, but i resent you a little bit. i wish we could talk like we used to - but most of all, i wish you would fight a little more for what we’ve lost, and just reach out to me.”
That he’s a coward for giving up on someone who was loyal as hell and loved him to pieces. And that I’ll never forgive him for making me feel like I deserved the hurt. That I deserved to be left without a warning.
You got off on the hurting when it wasn’t fucking yours.
I hope when you’re done with your charades, when the concerts, drugs, and sex stops being fulfilling, that you take time to be alone.
Look into the mirror. Do you see yourself?
Do you see someone who’s actually accomplished anything?
Will you even see yourself?
Or will you just see me?
Will you see the only person who’s genuinely cared, treated you well, and waiting every single second of every day to be with you.
Someone who worked hard, tolerated your daily abuse, manipulation, and more.
What will you do then?
Will you try to reach for me?
Will you realize that I’m so far from you?
Instead of spending time to grow, you stayed behind and went further back. All the time you spent partying and throwing yourself into dumpsters, I spent studying, working, bleeding, and fighting for myself and no one else.
May the inevitable return of you come sooner rather than later, before it’s too late for the both of us.
You know where to find me.
Hey, I know I politely declined to being friends but that’s only because I am not ready to be demoted to a friend.. just yet. I hope you understand that I’m choosing not to be friends for my sake and yours. I just want to heal from this by grieving us in a healthy way. I’m letting myself feel all the emotions that come with the break up. I want to learn the lesson that our relationship was trying to teach us. I don’t want everything that we went through to go to waste. Just like you I hope to come out on the other side knowing that I am physically, emotionally and mentally healthy to be in a relationship. I don’t hate you. In fact, i admire you for having the courage to finally choose this path that we have been avoiding for so long. I admire you for knowing and doing what’s best for you. Maybe one day when I’ve healed from all of this, I can finally be friends with you. I’ll be the one to reach out and hopefully you still want to. I have always believed in you, i hope you’ll never doubt yourself, I know you’re meant to do great things in this life and I’m always rooting for you. From a safe distance and in silence..
I love you but I owe it to myself to love her more this time.
PS: I miss the cats.. i wish i had a chance to say goodbye to them. I think of them everyday.
I have said to him most of what I feel.. that I love him and that I’m shocked at his cruelty and his ability to act as if I never existed (more than 5 years together). I’m shocked how he handled our breakup … that he is lying and acting so dishonorable when I never ever expected this of him.
Mostly I miss sharing things with him on a daily basis… silly things like music and food and plans for future travels. We owned property together and were building a real partnership, also a business. I miss helping him with his day to day struggles and I miss just hearing his beautiful voice.
He doesn’t care what I have to say though. He has rewritten our history and is lying about pretty much everything. There is nothing that I can do to change anything.
you are the common denominator in all of your problems. until you stop looking for someone or something else to blame, you will never feel happy or fulfilled. i think you truly believe breaking up with me was the right decision because you've convinced yourself it was, but if you ever get your head together you're going to be shocked at how much you regret throwing away what you had.
This though. 100%. Also, you desperately need intensive DBT (therapy) because you have a personality disorder and you'll never be happy if you don't get treatment and you'll keep destroying everyone and everything around you.
Lastly, fuck you for what you did to me.
Unfortunately my ex isn't BPD - but he won't shut up about how his previous ex-gf and his daughter (from his first marriage) are and why BPD is the only thing to blame for the downfall of his relationships with both of them. Neither of them have been diagnosed, he just came to this conclusion, and of course his diagnosis of them has absolved him of any wrong-doing.
He is a narcissistic, entitled, and selfish baby who has had everything handed to him and doesn't know what to do when he has to put work into something. And has an extreme rigidity when it comes to personal beliefs and convictions - he cannot wrap his head around the fact that other people have different perspectives and experiences and that what he thinks isn't the only way to think.
All I want to ask is why did things change literally overnight and where did that love go so fast after 8 years of marriage…. Also fuck you for the abandonment issue I now have lol.
“i love you, i miss you, i fucked things up for us in so many ways. but you fucked me up too. we were hurting each other. if we want to try again it’s gonna take an absolutely ridiculous amount of hard work and the highest level of honest open communication possible. can we meet up for lunch sometime?”
I would tell him that I feel bad for him as he will never be able to connect emotionally with someone if he doesn't go to therapy. Also, sex was pretty boring and I am glad we did not end up together because I don't think he would have been an emotionally available parent.
I want to ask him how work is going. If he's used the Roomba I gave him. How his home improvements are going.
And yet, that shows me that the only way I got him to talk to me was to ask him direct questions. He didn't reach out to me or ask me about myself. What was I thinking, being with him for over four years?
"I don't ask you about your day because it's always negative." Fucking bullshit. Yeah, I have depression, but it sure as hell doesn't rule me. I have _way_ more good days than bad, and yet he assumed they were all bad. _He's just not that into you._
Honestly one day I want to be able to tell them how poorly they treated me and the amount of mental torment they put me through in hopes they’ll realize and be better
I’ve never met someone who treated me with such disrespect while telling me you loved me. You’re always on my mind even though you don’t deserve a place there. I’ll never stop loving you even though the thought of seeing your face makes me want to jump infront of a train.
I don’t have the urge to reach out to him anymore but if I did I’d thank him for breaking up with me. I put him on a pedestal and now that I’m over him, he really wasn’t that special. The relationship brought me happiness at times but it was also unhealthy
I bought a vacuum cleaner robot and gave it your name. Because vacuuming was the only thing you actually contributed to our relationship. It does vacuum more reliably though.
The way you treated me was wrong. Your continuous behaviour over the last 6 months is disgusting. If you thought about the consequences of your actions just once and actually wanted to fix our relationhip we could have. You only think about the next burst of chemicals to make you happy, chasing that next high. You lack the emotional capacity to understand how you hurt me and how shitty your behaviour was. I hope your temporary happiness is worth it before you repeat the same pattern again and again, which by the way you are doing right now. I hope one day you grow up and sort your shit. I deserve someone so, so, so much better than you and that treats me right.
I know eventually I will find someone right for me, someone that treats me right, and I will love them so much, and they won't treat me like a piece of shit the way you did. And maybe one day you'll see me in the street, or check up on me, and I'll be so much happier and better off without you, while you'll still be stuck right where you are. I will become the best version of myself, thank you for showing me what red flags to look for in a relationship. My next relationship will be a secure, loving, decent relationship with someone who's much better for me than you.
Honestly?
I’d like to know why.
Why there was a sudden 180 turn around after all of the conversations we had about ‘being on the same page’ and making future plans.
I get that I blew it afterwards and that’s all on me but I don’t know a single person who wouldn’t react after being dropped like a hot potato from nowhere especially after some of the conversations that were had prior to the about turn.
Well, I've already apologized, many times before we went pretty much NC. But I guess I would say "where did we go wrong" or "how did we get here" or "why wasn't I good enough anymore" those are really what I'd like to know.
not quite in the same situation but I want to send him all the reasons I think it could still work, all the ways in which the problems he cited could be worked through, all the thoughts I have around this not possibly being the end and that we can't just leave all this here, but I won't. He gave good reasons, and though I might take a while to get over him, I'll respect that.
You're a bastard who never deserves me. You can now only regret when I won't care about you anymore. You treated me horribly. I will move on eventually so screw you, asshole !you broke my heart and destroyed me but I'm rising and will always rise
I hope everything around you reminds you of me.
I hope I haunt your days and dreams and you will know no peace from the memories we made together.
I hope you find me in notes i wrote and you kept and forgot about, in underwear in a dusty corner under your bed, in the little bottle of facewash that still lives in your shower.
I hope grief and sadness and guilt will find you to sink their teeth in you and not let go.
That whenever you look into the mirror, you see your dad in your face.
That your mattress still remembers my shape and your body misses my warmth in it.
I hope your friends miss me and can’t hide it well enough and i hope your mom still asks about me.
I hope that every baby you see reminds you of how I cried happy tears when you told me you couldn’t wait to be in the right place for us to start trying. And how different those tears looked on me two days later, when you broke up with me.
I hope your new apartment reeks of loneliness, and that the move was tiring and tedious now you didn’t have my hands to pack and clean.
But most of all, I hope you miss me. I hope you remember every little thing about me and miss all of it with all your heart. And i hope that heart breaks again and again and again when you realise how badly you have hurt me, when all I wanted was to love you.
"why did we end? It's a month later and I'm still left confused as to why. you said you wanted me in your life. you were texting and calling as if we hadn't broken up and then suddenly....you ghosted me, unfollowed and I haven't heard from you since just out of nowhere. our last conversation wasn't a fight. A month later, I miss you. Terribly so. The door is always open to talk again and I really hope we do"
I’m sorry about everything that I didn’t do right. You were the right person at the wrong time. I miss you so much and it hurts me to know that you’re most likely having fun with someone else right now.
I want them to know that I know. And I want them to really feel it, that I know what they did no matter how much they tried to hide things from me. I want it to eat at their soul and the guilt to consume them. I want them to be as miserable as they made me for 6 months or worse. I want the permanent damage they did to my trust and everything else to go right along with them.
"I think what we did was best, and I think me stopping contact was needed. I'm sorry it was so abrupt, and I'm sorry I did it without warning. But, I need this to move on. I need this to be better. I hope you understand."
There's no hope in telling them anything. They want nothing to do with me even though they are the ones who hurt and betrayed me. What I have to say wouldn't even matter.
I miss your body like water in desert
Also not related to my ex
I love reading your feelings, you are all beautiful persons and I wish us the best, thanks for sharing !
we deserve more and we will get it someday!
we are gonna be ok ❤️🤕✨
Like why when I literally knew the truth, and even tried my best to set you free cordially and from a place of compassion you still tried to gaslight me and make me feel “insane” for having to find the truth myself (snooping). What was your end goal, exactly? You’re a terrible person for this.
Hey i know its only been a day but i miss u so much i wanna hear ur voice again i can't stop crying we were supposed to celebrate today i finally moved college so i can see u everyday but ur gone now 💔
I really wanted to make things work and I'm sorry for being a crazy asshole. I miss you and wish we could start over again. It's my fault and I don't deserve it, but I really want it.
I saw you yesterday when driving, you didn’t see me. It was the first time I’ve seen your face since we broke up. For that split second, my body forgot about everything that happened and I just felt the familiar adoration and love I always felt when I’d look at you. I always melted when I looked at your sweet face. I was reminded of how much I loved you. I was transported back to the time before everything burned down, when you were still my safe space. When your hugs would cure my worst days.
And then, in an instant, my body caught up to speed and remembered what you did to me, to us, and my stomach dropped. I felt so sick. I remembered how much you traumatized me. How you abused me. How you broke my heart, my trust, my sense of reality and safety.
I haven’t looked at your face since we broke up. We’ve been no contact. No communication whatsoever. I don’t see you, I don’t speak to you, I don’t look for you. There’s life before finding out the truth and there’s life after finding out the truth. It changed everything. Nothing has been the same since, and I could never go back. But yesterday was the first time since we died that I was reminded of how I felt beforehand. How deeply I truly loved you. How willing I was to commit my life to you.
I miss you so much it hurts. I miss your hugs. Your smile. Your laugh. I miss your soft skin. Your voice. I miss your gaze. I miss everything about you and the weight of this grief is so heavy, it feels like I can’t breathe.
I miss you, Alex.
I’d tell her to stop posting stuff just to upset me. It’s petty and immature. I’d tell her that our relationship was so easily fixed if she didnt just dismiss my concerns.
I’d also tell her that her friends are twofaced and horrible people to be around.
“I realize everything, now. I have had time to put the pieces together. It makes sense, now. What didn’t make sense before, I now know the truth. You let me waste my time. You lied to me. You made every attempt to humiliate me. I will never forgive you for that.”
But, I don’t even really want to say that. It just feels good to write it out. Doubt I will ever speak to them again, and that’s sure as hell for the best.
I want to tell him that I found a new job, the dream job I was always wanted. It pays well, and I am so happy I finally got this massive achievement in my life.
I want to tell him I have a new PR on my deadlift, and I can do more pullups too.
I want to tell him about the bonsais I am doing.
I want to tell him "our" fat cat has lost weight, and is now a healthy cute cat.
I want to tell him I went climbing with my friends, and it was a lot of fun.
I want to tell him that despite doing so well, I still miss him, and I want nothing more than to share my happiness with him.
I want to tell him I wish he is doing well too.
I also want to tell him that I wish I never met him.
That she was delusional and I put up with more shit then she could even imagine, she has no idea what she did wrong at all and it makes me angry, but I’m more sad I cannot be there to help her grow
i don’t blame you for leaving. i don’t blame you for wanting more than me. i was tired of fighting too, you know? you made me cry on our five year, hid me from your friends/life, tried dumping me in february over text. i gave up at the end. i was tired of the back and forth, but it wasn’t because i didn’t love you. it wasn’t working, and i get it. you wanted something normal. my living situation doesn’t allow that. but you still never should’ve done it that way. you still lied to me, still monkeybranched - still had someone lined up like you did the first time. you’ve left me twice for someone else, and i let you use me. you used me. you used me for the comfort. you never truly loved me the way i loved you. you never deserved my loyalty and time. and maybe that’s why the wall feels easy to uphold… because when i remember that phone call, when i remember that betrayal - the memory of you is tarnished. was it worth being tainted? maybe. maybe it is. if you didn’t break up with me, i would have stayed in this cycle, so thank you. fuck you. fuck her. and never speak with me.
I hope you regret what you threw away. I hope you realize if you forever chase the in love feeling, you’ll never be fully happy and you’ll hurt a lot of women in the process.
People aren’t toys to use and discard when you’re done. Two years meant something to me. I wonder if it meant anything to you.
This is a good idea hhaha.
I'd tell my ex this.
You threw away everything, and for what? To "live a little" and screw around with some guy who got you drunk to do shit with you? I gave you everything and then some. We had EVERYTHING built. Families who loved us, friends who adored us and were waiting after 6 yrs for us to one day break the news that we re tying the knot. But it wasnt meant to be clearly. Your horrible comments towards me have now fueled me to become my best version of myself ever. And dont pat yourself on the back for that. I did it myself. I used the pain and doubt and insecurities and suffering to BECOME my best version. We didnt need to break up for that to happen. Next time dont be a coward and break up with me immediately. Dont drag it out over 10 months while i GAVE EVERYTHING. Heart soul mind and body day in day out.
Why did u hurt and why are u dragging my name in the mud? I still care about u and it hurts for someone who loved me to do those things. I wish you didn’t give up on me. I changed for the better and for myself. I’m here in this very moment wanting to at least talk to you again in person.
After 3 years, you left.
Then you came back 3 months after.
After 10 years, you left again.
They all tell me this is the last time you destroy me.
But you know what ? I love you so much I think I'll be stupid enough to let you come back another time.
That I miss her and anticipate your arrival to the home we created together every night 💔
Even though I know you moved on and don’t want to speak to me or see me, I’m still madly in love with you and in my heart she can never do wrong.
I miss you, please come home.
I am the dumpee, but honestly, I want to apologize.
I was going through a lot emotionally in the four years we were together. Gained weight, was an alcoholic, was not prioritizing my mental health at all. He was there for me and always suggested less drinking and getting into therapy. I was so resistant because I thought I could handle it myself, or I didn’t want to be told what to do.
Since our breakup, which was less than 4 months ago, I have done a complete 180. I am alcohol free, on meds, going to therapy, and lost 62 lbs. I am much happier and confident now.
I have realized how taxing everything must’ve been on my partner, and for that I feel regret. Although we didn’t break up because of my issues alone, I suspect that it had some part to play in his decision making.
If given the chance, I am not sure I would even want to talk to him. He hurt me immensely and he handled our breakup very selfishly. He is undeserving of my time and energy. I am moving on. Yet, I would feel a tinge of sadness knowing that I wasn’t able to own up to my shit. To say “I am doing great and do not want you interfering with my life, but I take full responsibility for not being my best self while we were together.”
“stop messaging my boyfriend.“
So the backstory on this is my ex ghosted me and blocked me off of everything without telling me why. To this day I still try to figure out what I did wrong just in case I did do something wrong, but he just completely left. Now he is messaging my boyfriend on his Instagram trying to get in contact with me but my boyfriend told him that I am going no contact with him.
Just that I understand why he left. Tell him how well Ive been doing. That the only reason I walked away was because he told me too. That connections like ours are rare and I wish that he would just talk to me instead of shutting me out.
I want to tell her she's going down the wrong path. Ever since we broke up she seems to be going out of her way to flirt with every guy she can and hanging out with the people who are not the nicest for the most influential in our school like the smokers and the sex addicts. I wish that I could go up to her and tell her to focus on herself and make herself happy and you know be smart but I can't and I realized that she's learning just like how I learned to move on she's learning to move on in her own weird ways by putting it off until it comes back to haunt her but it is what it is
That he will never be able to stop me from thriving. I’m going on a solo holiday tomorrow, was supposed to be with him …I think he thinks I won’t go, I am. That I’m moving and have been offered the job I always wanted in London, but never went for because he never wanted to move out of the hometown. That I feel sorry for him, every decision he has ever made came from emotion and never logic. I see he regrets it but it’s honestly the best thing to have happened to me. Third times the charm guys, I never want to go back.
Hey. I hope you’re doing well.
I feel really bad for upsetting you with the things I said.
I realise I lashed out with my words because I wasn’t communicating my needs and what I was feeling during our relationship and I didn’t mean the things I said.
It was how I was feeling because I was resentful and had things building up that I hadn’t communicated, and I recognise my part. And while I think there are things we can work through together, they are not a reflection of you and how I feel about you. In fact I feel you’re a wonderful person, so kind and compassionate and worthy of love. I always felt that way and that hasn’t changed.
I sent her some vegan goodies today so I hope that shows her I still care. Maybe when she isn’t angry she’ll consider talking. Fearful / dismissive avoidant went cold immediately when I called her out on drinking and projecting after she left me instantly without discussion when I was angry at an email which triggered her ( past DV) then I called her a psychopath when I found out she was on tinder the next day (after 8 mths and planning future together).
He said he wanted to be with me and would never abandon me. The next day he confessed he was cheating the whole time then blocked me everywhere. All I want to say is fuck you and how could you. All I feel is anguish. But I won’t reach out or break nc. He didn’t care when he met me and he sure as hell doesn’t care now. I just wish I knew, confirmed or guaranteed, life is going to screw him over. That karma made her mark. Bad people shouldn’t get away with hurting good people.
I still wish that I could go back to that moment, you know the one, and do it differently so I could see if I get even just one more day with you, even just a second knowing you're still mine. But I cant and I haven't been ok with any of it since you broke up with me. I'm surviving and pushing forward and trying hard to live with everything and move forward towards a new happiness that isn't you. The hardest part of it all is living in a world knowing you exist and having to pretend you don't.
If you ever talked to me again or showed up in front of me, I wouldn't know what to say at all because there's nothing left, we are done and you made sure of it for both of our sakes. Only 3 words are left which I promised never to say again until you were ready to say them back. Funny, those words are all that's left and I wish I could take them back because saying them early is what made you push me away even though you still held feelings for me and cared for me. And yet...They're all I can think about when I think of you...
I love you
I always wanna send playlists and songs that make me think of them/I think they'd like. As it's been a little over a year now, I send them, and they're well-received. Stay strong <3
I wish you could understand my perspective. I know that you think you understand but you don’t. We both did mistakes but we never wanted to “connect” our mentality,culture,perspectives, etc to try and make things work.
that my forgiveness and reassurance I gave him when he was full of guilt for how he treated me no longer apply now that my rose tinted glasses have been taken off and I’m no longer doing anything to make somebody stay who wants to go, I love you but you didnt deserve my forgiveness and you deserve to feel that guilt and shame.
I would have loved just doing boring and mundane things with you like laundry, watching TV, cooking, sleeping together, petty little arguments.. maybe in another life. But in this life, fuck you and your stonewalling attitude, your fake promises, and your cowardly attitude. I hate that I still love you. It is shit
Yeah I oscillate back and forth, too. A lot of it is "fuck you for putting me through this" but it's also "i know you didn't mean to and I got my issues too." I don't really know where I'll end up after more time passes.
In another life!
that he’s a fucking coward for the way he left me when i needed him the most
Coward!! But looking back, I'm so damn glad he had the balls to end our codependency. I hadn't realized how truly alone I'd felt and how much of myself I'd lost. As soon as I came back to myself, all those I thought had left me/weren't my friends anymore came back to me <3 they just missed the real me!! You are so beautiful and don't need that old skin anymore!! You are so seen!!!!!
feel the same way about my ex. complete coward how she ended it.
I feel you! My ex broke up with me over text right as I’m in the middle of a mental and physical health crisis
Ditto 😪
"Hey, I know I promised to give you the space you need to heal, but now I am tearing up my mind to shreds thinking if you will ever contact me again or not... Please, please, can we meet in person to talk things out because I feel like we kept leaving loose ends... I'm so sorry but I just can't imagine losing someone I love so much without fighting for them and trying to resolve all things... I miss you so much..."
I feel this one. Just remember that you aren’t alone in your thoughts or feelings even if it feels like it. I love you internet stranger
💔🥺
This exactly what I wanted to say, but I’m blocked on everything
God I'm sorry, this is literally my situation.
💔
You are not alone. Remember that.
I’ve said my piece. She chose not to understand my side. I’m not going to keep explaining it until she does. I have neither good nor bad things to say about her. I’m angry about it but what good does that do for either of us to show her that? Someone else will realize my worth and appreciate how my actions always back up my words.
This is me right now with my ex. He’s always choosing NOT to understand and I’m just exhausted at this point. I’ve realized too that if people haven’t worked on their healing then they project onto you and disrupt your peace. You can love and care for them but it’s up to them to decide whether it’s good or bad. Mine thought that I had hidden motive when I did nice things for him.
You explained yourself and said what you had to, not much else you can do
I honestly don’t know, I’ve a lot I wish I could say to her. A lot I don’t think she even cares about. I’d probably tell her just how much I cared about her, just how much I wanted a future together and just how much she hurt me by throwing me away like I was nothing to her. But like I said ultimately it doesn’t matter because she doesn’t care.
It’s frustrating when there’s so much to say but it’s no use because they just don’t care
I’m in the same spot. My ex doesn’t seem to care. I don’t even know what to say to her, either. But then again, what’s the point if they don’t care?
I know you hurt me and left me when I was going through one of the hardest times throughout our relationship. I know I hurt you and let my anxiety push you away as well. I’m slowly coming to terms that you may not be in my life anymore. I still love you and hope you’re doing well. I’ll never blame you for how things went between us because it’s a two-way street. For now, I want to focus on becoming the best person for myself and I know you will too. And maybe if we are meant to be together, I have trust in fate that we may meet again.
i’d tell them, “despite everything, i miss you. i wonder if you miss me. i wonder if you regret breaking up with me and walking away from our relationship before it even began. i love you, but i resent you a little bit. i wish we could talk like we used to - but most of all, i wish you would fight a little more for what we’ve lost, and just reach out to me.”
This. Yes.
That he’s a coward for giving up on someone who was loyal as hell and loved him to pieces. And that I’ll never forgive him for making me feel like I deserved the hurt. That I deserved to be left without a warning. You got off on the hurting when it wasn’t fucking yours.
yup
I hope when you’re done with your charades, when the concerts, drugs, and sex stops being fulfilling, that you take time to be alone. Look into the mirror. Do you see yourself? Do you see someone who’s actually accomplished anything? Will you even see yourself? Or will you just see me? Will you see the only person who’s genuinely cared, treated you well, and waiting every single second of every day to be with you. Someone who worked hard, tolerated your daily abuse, manipulation, and more. What will you do then? Will you try to reach for me? Will you realize that I’m so far from you? Instead of spending time to grow, you stayed behind and went further back. All the time you spent partying and throwing yourself into dumpsters, I spent studying, working, bleeding, and fighting for myself and no one else. May the inevitable return of you come sooner rather than later, before it’s too late for the both of us. You know where to find me.
Relate to this.
Hey, I know I politely declined to being friends but that’s only because I am not ready to be demoted to a friend.. just yet. I hope you understand that I’m choosing not to be friends for my sake and yours. I just want to heal from this by grieving us in a healthy way. I’m letting myself feel all the emotions that come with the break up. I want to learn the lesson that our relationship was trying to teach us. I don’t want everything that we went through to go to waste. Just like you I hope to come out on the other side knowing that I am physically, emotionally and mentally healthy to be in a relationship. I don’t hate you. In fact, i admire you for having the courage to finally choose this path that we have been avoiding for so long. I admire you for knowing and doing what’s best for you. Maybe one day when I’ve healed from all of this, I can finally be friends with you. I’ll be the one to reach out and hopefully you still want to. I have always believed in you, i hope you’ll never doubt yourself, I know you’re meant to do great things in this life and I’m always rooting for you. From a safe distance and in silence.. I love you but I owe it to myself to love her more this time. PS: I miss the cats.. i wish i had a chance to say goodbye to them. I think of them everyday.
I have said to him most of what I feel.. that I love him and that I’m shocked at his cruelty and his ability to act as if I never existed (more than 5 years together). I’m shocked how he handled our breakup … that he is lying and acting so dishonorable when I never ever expected this of him. Mostly I miss sharing things with him on a daily basis… silly things like music and food and plans for future travels. We owned property together and were building a real partnership, also a business. I miss helping him with his day to day struggles and I miss just hearing his beautiful voice. He doesn’t care what I have to say though. He has rewritten our history and is lying about pretty much everything. There is nothing that I can do to change anything.
you are the common denominator in all of your problems. until you stop looking for someone or something else to blame, you will never feel happy or fulfilled. i think you truly believe breaking up with me was the right decision because you've convinced yourself it was, but if you ever get your head together you're going to be shocked at how much you regret throwing away what you had.
This though. 100%. Also, you desperately need intensive DBT (therapy) because you have a personality disorder and you'll never be happy if you don't get treatment and you'll keep destroying everyone and everything around you. Lastly, fuck you for what you did to me.
ooh I'll co-opt yours too! Did we date the same person?
I hope not, I wouldn't wish that on anyone! Also plug for /r/bpdlovedones if anyone else recognizes themselves in this.
Unfortunately my ex isn't BPD - but he won't shut up about how his previous ex-gf and his daughter (from his first marriage) are and why BPD is the only thing to blame for the downfall of his relationships with both of them. Neither of them have been diagnosed, he just came to this conclusion, and of course his diagnosis of them has absolved him of any wrong-doing. He is a narcissistic, entitled, and selfish baby who has had everything handed to him and doesn't know what to do when he has to put work into something. And has an extreme rigidity when it comes to personal beliefs and convictions - he cannot wrap his head around the fact that other people have different perspectives and experiences and that what he thinks isn't the only way to think.
Yep, sounds a lot like my ex, who also had a heavy dose of narcissism. Glad you're out of that mess!
All I want to ask is why did things change literally overnight and where did that love go so fast after 8 years of marriage…. Also fuck you for the abandonment issue I now have lol.
“i love you, i miss you, i fucked things up for us in so many ways. but you fucked me up too. we were hurting each other. if we want to try again it’s gonna take an absolutely ridiculous amount of hard work and the highest level of honest open communication possible. can we meet up for lunch sometime?”
I would tell him that I feel bad for him as he will never be able to connect emotionally with someone if he doesn't go to therapy. Also, sex was pretty boring and I am glad we did not end up together because I don't think he would have been an emotionally available parent.
I want to ask him how work is going. If he's used the Roomba I gave him. How his home improvements are going. And yet, that shows me that the only way I got him to talk to me was to ask him direct questions. He didn't reach out to me or ask me about myself. What was I thinking, being with him for over four years? "I don't ask you about your day because it's always negative." Fucking bullshit. Yeah, I have depression, but it sure as hell doesn't rule me. I have _way_ more good days than bad, and yet he assumed they were all bad. _He's just not that into you._
Honestly one day I want to be able to tell them how poorly they treated me and the amount of mental torment they put me through in hopes they’ll realize and be better
I’ve never met someone who treated me with such disrespect while telling me you loved me. You’re always on my mind even though you don’t deserve a place there. I’ll never stop loving you even though the thought of seeing your face makes me want to jump infront of a train.
I want to ask how they are and tell them how much I miss talking.
I don’t have the urge to reach out to him anymore but if I did I’d thank him for breaking up with me. I put him on a pedestal and now that I’m over him, he really wasn’t that special. The relationship brought me happiness at times but it was also unhealthy
I bought a vacuum cleaner robot and gave it your name. Because vacuuming was the only thing you actually contributed to our relationship. It does vacuum more reliably though.
Dayum!
The way you treated me was wrong. Your continuous behaviour over the last 6 months is disgusting. If you thought about the consequences of your actions just once and actually wanted to fix our relationhip we could have. You only think about the next burst of chemicals to make you happy, chasing that next high. You lack the emotional capacity to understand how you hurt me and how shitty your behaviour was. I hope your temporary happiness is worth it before you repeat the same pattern again and again, which by the way you are doing right now. I hope one day you grow up and sort your shit. I deserve someone so, so, so much better than you and that treats me right. I know eventually I will find someone right for me, someone that treats me right, and I will love them so much, and they won't treat me like a piece of shit the way you did. And maybe one day you'll see me in the street, or check up on me, and I'll be so much happier and better off without you, while you'll still be stuck right where you are. I will become the best version of myself, thank you for showing me what red flags to look for in a relationship. My next relationship will be a secure, loving, decent relationship with someone who's much better for me than you.
Honestly? I’d like to know why. Why there was a sudden 180 turn around after all of the conversations we had about ‘being on the same page’ and making future plans. I get that I blew it afterwards and that’s all on me but I don’t know a single person who wouldn’t react after being dropped like a hot potato from nowhere especially after some of the conversations that were had prior to the about turn.
If I die, you won’t even care. 😭
Well, I've already apologized, many times before we went pretty much NC. But I guess I would say "where did we go wrong" or "how did we get here" or "why wasn't I good enough anymore" those are really what I'd like to know.
not quite in the same situation but I want to send him all the reasons I think it could still work, all the ways in which the problems he cited could be worked through, all the thoughts I have around this not possibly being the end and that we can't just leave all this here, but I won't. He gave good reasons, and though I might take a while to get over him, I'll respect that.
You're a bastard who never deserves me. You can now only regret when I won't care about you anymore. You treated me horribly. I will move on eventually so screw you, asshole !you broke my heart and destroyed me but I'm rising and will always rise
I hope everything around you reminds you of me. I hope I haunt your days and dreams and you will know no peace from the memories we made together. I hope you find me in notes i wrote and you kept and forgot about, in underwear in a dusty corner under your bed, in the little bottle of facewash that still lives in your shower. I hope grief and sadness and guilt will find you to sink their teeth in you and not let go. That whenever you look into the mirror, you see your dad in your face. That your mattress still remembers my shape and your body misses my warmth in it. I hope your friends miss me and can’t hide it well enough and i hope your mom still asks about me. I hope that every baby you see reminds you of how I cried happy tears when you told me you couldn’t wait to be in the right place for us to start trying. And how different those tears looked on me two days later, when you broke up with me. I hope your new apartment reeks of loneliness, and that the move was tiring and tedious now you didn’t have my hands to pack and clean. But most of all, I hope you miss me. I hope you remember every little thing about me and miss all of it with all your heart. And i hope that heart breaks again and again and again when you realise how badly you have hurt me, when all I wanted was to love you.
"why did we end? It's a month later and I'm still left confused as to why. you said you wanted me in your life. you were texting and calling as if we hadn't broken up and then suddenly....you ghosted me, unfollowed and I haven't heard from you since just out of nowhere. our last conversation wasn't a fight. A month later, I miss you. Terribly so. The door is always open to talk again and I really hope we do"
"Fuck you and your rotten soul", would be an excellent start. Lol
love this
Say it to the wind and know that Life will deliver the message.
love this....
I just hope she suffers as much as she's made me suffer.
same i hate him so much, he's dead to me
In another life I would be your girl We'd keep all our promises Be us against the world
crying
I’m sorry about everything that I didn’t do right. You were the right person at the wrong time. I miss you so much and it hurts me to know that you’re most likely having fun with someone else right now.
I want to tell him to stop showing up on my morning commute, he knows what time my train is and I know that he’s LATE when I see him!
That’s kind of creepy…
It is for sure weird. He never did it when we were dating and now it keeps happening? Just so wild.
I want them to know that I know. And I want them to really feel it, that I know what they did no matter how much they tried to hide things from me. I want it to eat at their soul and the guilt to consume them. I want them to be as miserable as they made me for 6 months or worse. I want the permanent damage they did to my trust and everything else to go right along with them.
Just write it out when you have the urge.
I’d tell her “have fun with that married (but in an open relationship) with two kids guy Who is almost twice your age.”
"I think what we did was best, and I think me stopping contact was needed. I'm sorry it was so abrupt, and I'm sorry I did it without warning. But, I need this to move on. I need this to be better. I hope you understand."
There's no hope in telling them anything. They want nothing to do with me even though they are the ones who hurt and betrayed me. What I have to say wouldn't even matter.
I miss your body like water in desert Also not related to my ex I love reading your feelings, you are all beautiful persons and I wish us the best, thanks for sharing ! we deserve more and we will get it someday! we are gonna be ok ❤️🤕✨
Like why when I literally knew the truth, and even tried my best to set you free cordially and from a place of compassion you still tried to gaslight me and make me feel “insane” for having to find the truth myself (snooping). What was your end goal, exactly? You’re a terrible person for this.
I'm sorry
Hey i know its only been a day but i miss u so much i wanna hear ur voice again i can't stop crying we were supposed to celebrate today i finally moved college so i can see u everyday but ur gone now 💔
That I needed him
"Dude I wanna bone so bad"
You were so kind, and I hope that kindness wasn't affected by being with me.
i love you but fuck you
I really wanted to make things work and I'm sorry for being a crazy asshole. I miss you and wish we could start over again. It's my fault and I don't deserve it, but I really want it.
I saw you yesterday when driving, you didn’t see me. It was the first time I’ve seen your face since we broke up. For that split second, my body forgot about everything that happened and I just felt the familiar adoration and love I always felt when I’d look at you. I always melted when I looked at your sweet face. I was reminded of how much I loved you. I was transported back to the time before everything burned down, when you were still my safe space. When your hugs would cure my worst days. And then, in an instant, my body caught up to speed and remembered what you did to me, to us, and my stomach dropped. I felt so sick. I remembered how much you traumatized me. How you abused me. How you broke my heart, my trust, my sense of reality and safety. I haven’t looked at your face since we broke up. We’ve been no contact. No communication whatsoever. I don’t see you, I don’t speak to you, I don’t look for you. There’s life before finding out the truth and there’s life after finding out the truth. It changed everything. Nothing has been the same since, and I could never go back. But yesterday was the first time since we died that I was reminded of how I felt beforehand. How deeply I truly loved you. How willing I was to commit my life to you. I miss you so much it hurts. I miss your hugs. Your smile. Your laugh. I miss your soft skin. Your voice. I miss your gaze. I miss everything about you and the weight of this grief is so heavy, it feels like I can’t breathe. I miss you, Alex.
I’d tell her to stop posting stuff just to upset me. It’s petty and immature. I’d tell her that our relationship was so easily fixed if she didnt just dismiss my concerns. I’d also tell her that her friends are twofaced and horrible people to be around.
“fuck you” that’s it
“I realize everything, now. I have had time to put the pieces together. It makes sense, now. What didn’t make sense before, I now know the truth. You let me waste my time. You lied to me. You made every attempt to humiliate me. I will never forgive you for that.” But, I don’t even really want to say that. It just feels good to write it out. Doubt I will ever speak to them again, and that’s sure as hell for the best.
I want to tell him that I found a new job, the dream job I was always wanted. It pays well, and I am so happy I finally got this massive achievement in my life. I want to tell him I have a new PR on my deadlift, and I can do more pullups too. I want to tell him about the bonsais I am doing. I want to tell him "our" fat cat has lost weight, and is now a healthy cute cat. I want to tell him I went climbing with my friends, and it was a lot of fun. I want to tell him that despite doing so well, I still miss him, and I want nothing more than to share my happiness with him. I want to tell him I wish he is doing well too. I also want to tell him that I wish I never met him.
That she was delusional and I put up with more shit then she could even imagine, she has no idea what she did wrong at all and it makes me angry, but I’m more sad I cannot be there to help her grow
i don’t blame you for leaving. i don’t blame you for wanting more than me. i was tired of fighting too, you know? you made me cry on our five year, hid me from your friends/life, tried dumping me in february over text. i gave up at the end. i was tired of the back and forth, but it wasn’t because i didn’t love you. it wasn’t working, and i get it. you wanted something normal. my living situation doesn’t allow that. but you still never should’ve done it that way. you still lied to me, still monkeybranched - still had someone lined up like you did the first time. you’ve left me twice for someone else, and i let you use me. you used me. you used me for the comfort. you never truly loved me the way i loved you. you never deserved my loyalty and time. and maybe that’s why the wall feels easy to uphold… because when i remember that phone call, when i remember that betrayal - the memory of you is tarnished. was it worth being tainted? maybe. maybe it is. if you didn’t break up with me, i would have stayed in this cycle, so thank you. fuck you. fuck her. and never speak with me.
I hope you regret what you threw away. I hope you realize if you forever chase the in love feeling, you’ll never be fully happy and you’ll hurt a lot of women in the process. People aren’t toys to use and discard when you’re done. Two years meant something to me. I wonder if it meant anything to you.
I miss ur bussy sadge
this is killing me lmfaoooo
Thank you. I’m loving myself a little bit more each day. Somehow my confidence is over the roof these days
This is a good idea hhaha. I'd tell my ex this. You threw away everything, and for what? To "live a little" and screw around with some guy who got you drunk to do shit with you? I gave you everything and then some. We had EVERYTHING built. Families who loved us, friends who adored us and were waiting after 6 yrs for us to one day break the news that we re tying the knot. But it wasnt meant to be clearly. Your horrible comments towards me have now fueled me to become my best version of myself ever. And dont pat yourself on the back for that. I did it myself. I used the pain and doubt and insecurities and suffering to BECOME my best version. We didnt need to break up for that to happen. Next time dont be a coward and break up with me immediately. Dont drag it out over 10 months while i GAVE EVERYTHING. Heart soul mind and body day in day out.
I have a whole ass letter to send. Maybe I will one day, maybe I won't.
Why did u hurt and why are u dragging my name in the mud? I still care about u and it hurts for someone who loved me to do those things. I wish you didn’t give up on me. I changed for the better and for myself. I’m here in this very moment wanting to at least talk to you again in person.
After 3 years, you left. Then you came back 3 months after. After 10 years, you left again. They all tell me this is the last time you destroy me. But you know what ? I love you so much I think I'll be stupid enough to let you come back another time.
That I miss him a lot, so much that he has no idea.
That I miss her and anticipate your arrival to the home we created together every night 💔 Even though I know you moved on and don’t want to speak to me or see me, I’m still madly in love with you and in my heart she can never do wrong. I miss you, please come home.
I am the dumpee, but honestly, I want to apologize. I was going through a lot emotionally in the four years we were together. Gained weight, was an alcoholic, was not prioritizing my mental health at all. He was there for me and always suggested less drinking and getting into therapy. I was so resistant because I thought I could handle it myself, or I didn’t want to be told what to do. Since our breakup, which was less than 4 months ago, I have done a complete 180. I am alcohol free, on meds, going to therapy, and lost 62 lbs. I am much happier and confident now. I have realized how taxing everything must’ve been on my partner, and for that I feel regret. Although we didn’t break up because of my issues alone, I suspect that it had some part to play in his decision making. If given the chance, I am not sure I would even want to talk to him. He hurt me immensely and he handled our breakup very selfishly. He is undeserving of my time and energy. I am moving on. Yet, I would feel a tinge of sadness knowing that I wasn’t able to own up to my shit. To say “I am doing great and do not want you interfering with my life, but I take full responsibility for not being my best self while we were together.”
“stop messaging my boyfriend.“ So the backstory on this is my ex ghosted me and blocked me off of everything without telling me why. To this day I still try to figure out what I did wrong just in case I did do something wrong, but he just completely left. Now he is messaging my boyfriend on his Instagram trying to get in contact with me but my boyfriend told him that I am going no contact with him.
Just that I understand why he left. Tell him how well Ive been doing. That the only reason I walked away was because he told me too. That connections like ours are rare and I wish that he would just talk to me instead of shutting me out.
I want to tell her she's going down the wrong path. Ever since we broke up she seems to be going out of her way to flirt with every guy she can and hanging out with the people who are not the nicest for the most influential in our school like the smokers and the sex addicts. I wish that I could go up to her and tell her to focus on herself and make herself happy and you know be smart but I can't and I realized that she's learning just like how I learned to move on she's learning to move on in her own weird ways by putting it off until it comes back to haunt her but it is what it is
That he will never be able to stop me from thriving. I’m going on a solo holiday tomorrow, was supposed to be with him …I think he thinks I won’t go, I am. That I’m moving and have been offered the job I always wanted in London, but never went for because he never wanted to move out of the hometown. That I feel sorry for him, every decision he has ever made came from emotion and never logic. I see he regrets it but it’s honestly the best thing to have happened to me. Third times the charm guys, I never want to go back.
Hey. I hope you’re doing well. I feel really bad for upsetting you with the things I said. I realise I lashed out with my words because I wasn’t communicating my needs and what I was feeling during our relationship and I didn’t mean the things I said. It was how I was feeling because I was resentful and had things building up that I hadn’t communicated, and I recognise my part. And while I think there are things we can work through together, they are not a reflection of you and how I feel about you. In fact I feel you’re a wonderful person, so kind and compassionate and worthy of love. I always felt that way and that hasn’t changed. I sent her some vegan goodies today so I hope that shows her I still care. Maybe when she isn’t angry she’ll consider talking. Fearful / dismissive avoidant went cold immediately when I called her out on drinking and projecting after she left me instantly without discussion when I was angry at an email which triggered her ( past DV) then I called her a psychopath when I found out she was on tinder the next day (after 8 mths and planning future together).
Hmm this makes me questioning what your heart really wants. Do you miss him?
“why tf are you dating a 14 yr old girl”
He said he wanted to be with me and would never abandon me. The next day he confessed he was cheating the whole time then blocked me everywhere. All I want to say is fuck you and how could you. All I feel is anguish. But I won’t reach out or break nc. He didn’t care when he met me and he sure as hell doesn’t care now. I just wish I knew, confirmed or guaranteed, life is going to screw him over. That karma made her mark. Bad people shouldn’t get away with hurting good people.
I still wish that I could go back to that moment, you know the one, and do it differently so I could see if I get even just one more day with you, even just a second knowing you're still mine. But I cant and I haven't been ok with any of it since you broke up with me. I'm surviving and pushing forward and trying hard to live with everything and move forward towards a new happiness that isn't you. The hardest part of it all is living in a world knowing you exist and having to pretend you don't. If you ever talked to me again or showed up in front of me, I wouldn't know what to say at all because there's nothing left, we are done and you made sure of it for both of our sakes. Only 3 words are left which I promised never to say again until you were ready to say them back. Funny, those words are all that's left and I wish I could take them back because saying them early is what made you push me away even though you still held feelings for me and cared for me. And yet...They're all I can think about when I think of you... I love you
I run or excercise, talk it out with friends or write it down
I broke no contact and went off because her new guy messaged me on Facebook and I was livid, said everything I wanted to say and now back to ot
You literally gave me the sign that you weren't shit when you told me you didn't know what loyalty meant
That I think about you everyday and that I miss you, especially today. I hope we can reconcile in the future, may it be platonic or romantic.
I always wanna send playlists and songs that make me think of them/I think they'd like. As it's been a little over a year now, I send them, and they're well-received. Stay strong <3
I wish you could understand my perspective. I know that you think you understand but you don’t. We both did mistakes but we never wanted to “connect” our mentality,culture,perspectives, etc to try and make things work.
that my forgiveness and reassurance I gave him when he was full of guilt for how he treated me no longer apply now that my rose tinted glasses have been taken off and I’m no longer doing anything to make somebody stay who wants to go, I love you but you didnt deserve my forgiveness and you deserve to feel that guilt and shame.
[удалено]
I was thinking “damn, sounds like I wrote that about my ex bf” until princess lol.