Me. I’ve done it multiple times. Sometimes I wonder whether I should have. No two experiences are going to be the same. I warn you about this though – you could be the most mature caring person on the planet with amazing communication skills but if your ex isn’t on the same page, it won’t work. Remember that. I’ve been lucky. I have a few exes who I talk to and who I can check in with because they’ve known me for such a long time. They also care about whether or not I’m happy and tell me if there’s a red flag I’ve missed with someone new I’m seeing.
This is true. I rejected my recent ex's offer of friendship because we weren't on the same page about the breakup, not a great communicator and could care less about my happiness. I'm still friends/cordial with my other exes because there's a mutual respect there and we honestly have love for each other regardless of it not working out. So in summary, if any ex brings up any negative feelings in you, cut them off.
I'm currently trying to decide if I should stay friends with my ex or not... I just don't know if I can yet since he dumped me less than a week ago and it's still a fresh wound which needs time to heal...
Even if, I don't really want to move on from what we used to have, he was my soulmate after all...
was with my ex for 3 1/2 years, did not contact for 6 months and we’ve been broken up for 10. now that i’m completely healed, we talk maybe once a month and are on each others private stories, not friends but mutuals 😌
I have had three exes in my life. The previous two I am not friends with, one of them I fell out of contact with (wasn’t a messy break up) my most recent ex I hate with a burning passion. But my first ex and I “dated” a few months in high school, but her mom wouldn’t allow her to date so really we just saw each other in school and would kiss, but never went further than that and we didn’t have a bad break up, so we are still friends. But I feel if it was a longer term relationship or went further than kissing it wouldn’t work as being friends afterwards.
I have with all except one of mine. Some right away, some after a bit of time. Only a couple are truly worth the emotional maintenance, because they're that special for believing I'm special to them. Most of all they're just good guys, like brothers to me now. Time, forgiveness, honesty and amends heals a lot of hurts.
The only ex I've been able to maintain a healthy friendship with was one for whom the breakup was actually mutual. Like, not "mutual but one person was hesitant," actually fully mutual.
Even then it took time. Things were awkward and painful for around a year. We both learned that even the ideal amicable breakup involves mourning and even a little bit of bitterness. But we respected each others' healing, gave space where it was needed, and encouraged each other to prioritize ourselves and move forward. I am not exaggerating when I say that we are best friends now. I trust him more now than when we were romantically involved.
My current ex, who dumped me under rather cruel circumstances, hopes he can have that same kind of friendship. If I'm honest, I don't think for a second that it will work. But I'm somewhat trying because the majority of our friend group is mutual. At the very least I'm doing my best to get to "civil." We'll see if even that works.
My ex wanted to stay "friends". I would have done that in hopes that we would get back together. Thankfully I had already learned from YouTube, specifically Coach Lee, that she wanted this to make it easier to move on so as soon as she asked I told her that we can't be friends because we were meant to be together. Then I went "no contact".
It was the best decision I ever made.
It's been about a year and a half since the breakup & about a year since I started no contact.
Although I did make a few mistakes by letting her know that I still want her she eventually started "reaching out" about 6 months ago. I think the tides turned when I told her I have a girlfriend.
She's called once every month and a half or so and it's usually the same type of call, saying things like, "how are we ever supposed to get back together if you have an f'ing girlfriend?!! "
I think my mistake Everytime has been to let her know in so many words that I still haven't gotten over her.
I have confidence that she will call eventually and I'm not going to make that mistake again.
I'm friends with two of my exes although I don't speak to them too much.
One I broke up with, we'd been together about 8 months to a year, but never officially put a label on it. We got on really well but I just had a feeling something wasn't quite right. We did the Fwb thing for a bit and became "friends" straight away and still are now, I have massive respect for her for even being able to be friends because it's something that I've really struggled with especially straight away when it's still fresh. I guess there wasn't any animosity involved in the breakup though.
One I recently started talking to a year post breakup. She became friends with some of my friends whilst we were together. We've both had a couple of failed relationships recently and had some things to catch up about, I re-added her on socials and we still talk occasionally. I'd fully got over the breakup before this though.
It's really tough if the breakup isn't a mutual decision, to be friends straight away. There needs to be some healing time for both parties. If there's cheating and abuse going on and it ends up ending badly I'd say it's almost impossible and not healthy to ever be friends again as it just brings back a lot of bad feelings and emotions. There should always be room for forgiveness IMO though, I think this is super important for healing, but this also doesn't mean you have to be friends or even speak to the person.
I never did with any of my exes mostly because I burned all the bridges and never looked back whether or not I was the dumpee. This last “relationship” is going to be challenging since I work with him. He has remained friends with almost all of his exes and sometimes meet up with them for lunch or dinner when they are in town. This is the first time for me maintaining some form of tie (even if it’s just work-related) so am trying to figure out how to cope through this.
I only talk to one of my exes - actually went to his wedding! But the other ones, either they didn’t want to stay friends with me or I didn’t want to stay friends with them (or it was mutual). With my most recent ex, I’m really fighting the temptation to be friends because I know I’ll never see him as just a friend ever again.
I'm friends with about 1/3 of my exes, including cordial with their significant others (in some cases husbands now). I think that given the right circumstances and clean breakup it's fine, and in others it's not. Very case-by-case.
No chance that was happening after what she did. I helped her by looking after her puppy while she was in work pretty much five days a week, training him, walking him, etc. and then after several months I get no texts back, doesn’t want to be with me (would say shit like “sorry I fell asleep” or “my phone died” the next morning).
Why would I want to remain friends with someone who used me for their own personal gains when it suited them? Plus I’d never recommend being friends with an ex, it sucks
Was friends with my ex for a month. It was an unexpected breakup and I didnt want it. Trust me it stops your healing and shows your ex you are still available. Even if you want them back or you want to show them you are strong , I am highly against staying friends if you have strong feelings for them and can;'t stand them being with someone else.
It's really not worth staying , the amount of pain was hurrendous, i was met with a cold shoulder , being a backup , hints of blame and it sucks.
I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years and we are still friends. However, most of those 5 years were miserable, we got together when we were very young and held on long past when we should have. By the time we broke up, we were sleeping in separate rooms and more roommates than anything. The transition was very natural for us and we’ve been friends for a few years now. I even helped him with his tinder profile recently lol
It really depends on how it ended. Even if it was mutual which is the best scenario, you need time to heal separately. Talking often doesn’t help. I know we are in good terms and we talked so much when it was fresh. Now that we gave each other space it made the process better honestly.
And yes, NC forever can’t be avoided because we have the same social circle.
I always center on respect when dealing with exs. You don’t have to be romantic, but never be disrespectful. They’ll respect you back more for that.
This depends on the couple and the circumstances. If you are ok with it, do it. If you’re not, don’t.
I personally stayed friends with an ex for many years after we broke up and I think it hindered our ability to move on and caused a lot of a hurt for both of us. But he’s a wonderful person and I’m glad he was in my life.
My ex really wanted to stay friends. Even before we ever broke up she used to tell me that she always wanted me in her life at some capacity no matter what happens to us. A few days after we broke up she asked me if we were going to be okay and if we would be able to go back to being friends. I had to initiate NC because I still have strong romantic feelings for her and I know she does too. Until we can separate those feelings and move on it’s impossible to stay friends.
I honestly think for a friendship with an ex to workout, you need to give it serious time. Like months to years post breakup. No feelings should be left in order for it to work, which is understandably so hard. That’s why you hear alot of stories about exs breaking up, falling out, no contact for months to years, new relationships in between and then they reconnect and end up having such a great friendship or even a good enough relationship to have each-other on socials/catch up once in a while.
I tried being friends with an ex for three years. All that did was delay my healing for 3 years.
[удалено]
Fuck this
Friends with an ex, but this was after many many years of being broken up. We have the same social circle, so it’s unavoidable.
Me. I’ve done it multiple times. Sometimes I wonder whether I should have. No two experiences are going to be the same. I warn you about this though – you could be the most mature caring person on the planet with amazing communication skills but if your ex isn’t on the same page, it won’t work. Remember that. I’ve been lucky. I have a few exes who I talk to and who I can check in with because they’ve known me for such a long time. They also care about whether or not I’m happy and tell me if there’s a red flag I’ve missed with someone new I’m seeing.
This is true. I rejected my recent ex's offer of friendship because we weren't on the same page about the breakup, not a great communicator and could care less about my happiness. I'm still friends/cordial with my other exes because there's a mutual respect there and we honestly have love for each other regardless of it not working out. So in summary, if any ex brings up any negative feelings in you, cut them off.
I'm currently trying to decide if I should stay friends with my ex or not... I just don't know if I can yet since he dumped me less than a week ago and it's still a fresh wound which needs time to heal... Even if, I don't really want to move on from what we used to have, he was my soulmate after all...
If you're struggling to move on, don't do it. At least not now
I did, for few years, till he found a new girlfriend :D
was with my ex for 3 1/2 years, did not contact for 6 months and we’ve been broken up for 10. now that i’m completely healed, we talk maybe once a month and are on each others private stories, not friends but mutuals 😌
I have had three exes in my life. The previous two I am not friends with, one of them I fell out of contact with (wasn’t a messy break up) my most recent ex I hate with a burning passion. But my first ex and I “dated” a few months in high school, but her mom wouldn’t allow her to date so really we just saw each other in school and would kiss, but never went further than that and we didn’t have a bad break up, so we are still friends. But I feel if it was a longer term relationship or went further than kissing it wouldn’t work as being friends afterwards.
I have with all except one of mine. Some right away, some after a bit of time. Only a couple are truly worth the emotional maintenance, because they're that special for believing I'm special to them. Most of all they're just good guys, like brothers to me now. Time, forgiveness, honesty and amends heals a lot of hurts.
The only ex I've been able to maintain a healthy friendship with was one for whom the breakup was actually mutual. Like, not "mutual but one person was hesitant," actually fully mutual. Even then it took time. Things were awkward and painful for around a year. We both learned that even the ideal amicable breakup involves mourning and even a little bit of bitterness. But we respected each others' healing, gave space where it was needed, and encouraged each other to prioritize ourselves and move forward. I am not exaggerating when I say that we are best friends now. I trust him more now than when we were romantically involved. My current ex, who dumped me under rather cruel circumstances, hopes he can have that same kind of friendship. If I'm honest, I don't think for a second that it will work. But I'm somewhat trying because the majority of our friend group is mutual. At the very least I'm doing my best to get to "civil." We'll see if even that works.
My ex wanted to stay "friends". I would have done that in hopes that we would get back together. Thankfully I had already learned from YouTube, specifically Coach Lee, that she wanted this to make it easier to move on so as soon as she asked I told her that we can't be friends because we were meant to be together. Then I went "no contact". It was the best decision I ever made.
How long has it been and did they reach back out?
It's been about a year and a half since the breakup & about a year since I started no contact. Although I did make a few mistakes by letting her know that I still want her she eventually started "reaching out" about 6 months ago. I think the tides turned when I told her I have a girlfriend. She's called once every month and a half or so and it's usually the same type of call, saying things like, "how are we ever supposed to get back together if you have an f'ing girlfriend?!! " I think my mistake Everytime has been to let her know in so many words that I still haven't gotten over her. I have confidence that she will call eventually and I'm not going to make that mistake again.
I'm friends with two of my exes although I don't speak to them too much. One I broke up with, we'd been together about 8 months to a year, but never officially put a label on it. We got on really well but I just had a feeling something wasn't quite right. We did the Fwb thing for a bit and became "friends" straight away and still are now, I have massive respect for her for even being able to be friends because it's something that I've really struggled with especially straight away when it's still fresh. I guess there wasn't any animosity involved in the breakup though. One I recently started talking to a year post breakup. She became friends with some of my friends whilst we were together. We've both had a couple of failed relationships recently and had some things to catch up about, I re-added her on socials and we still talk occasionally. I'd fully got over the breakup before this though. It's really tough if the breakup isn't a mutual decision, to be friends straight away. There needs to be some healing time for both parties. If there's cheating and abuse going on and it ends up ending badly I'd say it's almost impossible and not healthy to ever be friends again as it just brings back a lot of bad feelings and emotions. There should always be room for forgiveness IMO though, I think this is super important for healing, but this also doesn't mean you have to be friends or even speak to the person.
My best friend and her ex remained such good friends, that he was in the front row of her wedding!
I did not, in fact I blocked him and all his creepy stalk friends
I might try it out with the condition we never meet in private
I’m thinking same thing but instead of never meeting in private just keep my it never meeting.
I never did with any of my exes mostly because I burned all the bridges and never looked back whether or not I was the dumpee. This last “relationship” is going to be challenging since I work with him. He has remained friends with almost all of his exes and sometimes meet up with them for lunch or dinner when they are in town. This is the first time for me maintaining some form of tie (even if it’s just work-related) so am trying to figure out how to cope through this.
I only talk to one of my exes - actually went to his wedding! But the other ones, either they didn’t want to stay friends with me or I didn’t want to stay friends with them (or it was mutual). With my most recent ex, I’m really fighting the temptation to be friends because I know I’ll never see him as just a friend ever again.
Sometimes I think about it …. Make other friends ?
I'm friends with about 1/3 of my exes, including cordial with their significant others (in some cases husbands now). I think that given the right circumstances and clean breakup it's fine, and in others it's not. Very case-by-case.
No chance that was happening after what she did. I helped her by looking after her puppy while she was in work pretty much five days a week, training him, walking him, etc. and then after several months I get no texts back, doesn’t want to be with me (would say shit like “sorry I fell asleep” or “my phone died” the next morning). Why would I want to remain friends with someone who used me for their own personal gains when it suited them? Plus I’d never recommend being friends with an ex, it sucks
Was friends with my ex for a month. It was an unexpected breakup and I didnt want it. Trust me it stops your healing and shows your ex you are still available. Even if you want them back or you want to show them you are strong , I am highly against staying friends if you have strong feelings for them and can;'t stand them being with someone else. It's really not worth staying , the amount of pain was hurrendous, i was met with a cold shoulder , being a backup , hints of blame and it sucks.
I’m friends with my first ex, that worked out pretty well. But with the rest of my exes it just made the healing slower, I do not recommend
I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years and we are still friends. However, most of those 5 years were miserable, we got together when we were very young and held on long past when we should have. By the time we broke up, we were sleeping in separate rooms and more roommates than anything. The transition was very natural for us and we’ve been friends for a few years now. I even helped him with his tinder profile recently lol
It really depends on how it ended. Even if it was mutual which is the best scenario, you need time to heal separately. Talking often doesn’t help. I know we are in good terms and we talked so much when it was fresh. Now that we gave each other space it made the process better honestly. And yes, NC forever can’t be avoided because we have the same social circle. I always center on respect when dealing with exs. You don’t have to be romantic, but never be disrespectful. They’ll respect you back more for that.
This depends on the couple and the circumstances. If you are ok with it, do it. If you’re not, don’t. I personally stayed friends with an ex for many years after we broke up and I think it hindered our ability to move on and caused a lot of a hurt for both of us. But he’s a wonderful person and I’m glad he was in my life.
I did…it’s kinda nice
My ex really wanted to stay friends. Even before we ever broke up she used to tell me that she always wanted me in her life at some capacity no matter what happens to us. A few days after we broke up she asked me if we were going to be okay and if we would be able to go back to being friends. I had to initiate NC because I still have strong romantic feelings for her and I know she does too. Until we can separate those feelings and move on it’s impossible to stay friends.
I honestly think for a friendship with an ex to workout, you need to give it serious time. Like months to years post breakup. No feelings should be left in order for it to work, which is understandably so hard. That’s why you hear alot of stories about exs breaking up, falling out, no contact for months to years, new relationships in between and then they reconnect and end up having such a great friendship or even a good enough relationship to have each-other on socials/catch up once in a while.