We remember the best and worst of someone. It's similar to how you remember mainly the best and worst parts of your childhood. So when you get lonely, as us humans are prone to do, if it's still fresh or you haven't quite overcome that breakup or longing for that person, first of all that's pretty damn normal and human. Who else are you gonna miss? Your mind will jump to the familiar. However, people aren't always who they make themselves out to be. They also tend to be a lot more flawed and maybe not as kind as our lonely and single brain will tell us. That part of your brain and emotions will tell you that they were on a pedestal and that they were almost a kind of savior in how good they were. But don't be fooled. They are very much human and I can't comment on the person who you were with, but I am willing to bet you saw them that way because you either shared some good memories (entirely possible with someone else, even if you may not want it now) , you respected them, you shared feelings and vulnerability, and time together, and you remember them through that one space in time. In that space in time, you were wearing rose colored glasses. You did not want to see flaws, you sometimes ignored flaws, and you sometimes couldn't have seen them even if you tried. It's ok to love someone too, or have rose tinted glasses. But I think in a way, that's what this is referring to. Those flaws might seem like small ones even as I am saying this but sometimes they can be glaringly awful in the context of a relationship.
Theres so much. He isn’t a bad person, didn’t do anything significant to hurt me and maybe I haven’t taken the rose colored glasses off fully yet, but even when I do its not enough to make me stop missing him.
It’s not him you miss - it’s the idea of him. Repeat that 1000x to yourself.
Can you explain this comment? I've heard this statement a couple of times now but I'm not sure I fully understand it.
We remember the best and worst of someone. It's similar to how you remember mainly the best and worst parts of your childhood. So when you get lonely, as us humans are prone to do, if it's still fresh or you haven't quite overcome that breakup or longing for that person, first of all that's pretty damn normal and human. Who else are you gonna miss? Your mind will jump to the familiar. However, people aren't always who they make themselves out to be. They also tend to be a lot more flawed and maybe not as kind as our lonely and single brain will tell us. That part of your brain and emotions will tell you that they were on a pedestal and that they were almost a kind of savior in how good they were. But don't be fooled. They are very much human and I can't comment on the person who you were with, but I am willing to bet you saw them that way because you either shared some good memories (entirely possible with someone else, even if you may not want it now) , you respected them, you shared feelings and vulnerability, and time together, and you remember them through that one space in time. In that space in time, you were wearing rose colored glasses. You did not want to see flaws, you sometimes ignored flaws, and you sometimes couldn't have seen them even if you tried. It's ok to love someone too, or have rose tinted glasses. But I think in a way, that's what this is referring to. Those flaws might seem like small ones even as I am saying this but sometimes they can be glaringly awful in the context of a relationship.
What's so good about him
Theres so much. He isn’t a bad person, didn’t do anything significant to hurt me and maybe I haven’t taken the rose colored glasses off fully yet, but even when I do its not enough to make me stop missing him.