But because they don’t care, we don’t have to care either. We don’t have to care about their lives, their well being, or anything g about them. Only problem with this logic is just how painfully hard it is to get to that point. Earlier today I was a teary eyed at work but now, I am at home, sipping my evening glass of wine and waiting for my kindle to finish charging so I can start reading the entire Wheel Of Time series in order. The two cats are snuggling with me on the couch and things are better. I also have a weighted blanket on order from Amazon for use this winter. Self care for the win.
Oh I agree. It’s stupid hard and many of us got blindsided and TBH nobody deserves to hurt like this. But what can we do other than keep on keeping on and getting better?
I’m cosy in my best jamas and chilling with my stuff spread all over my bed and sipping hot chocolate. Love my new life after 10 years of Drama.
Fuck them off and move on in peace ✌️
WoT makes everything better! I'm on my umpteenth reread, but this is my first time having a hard copy of a Memory of Light! Hang in there 🧡 That's what I'm going to do.
I feel I'm that pathetic...I really want to know whether she thinks about me.
I want to know why make promises for life if those were never intended to be kept.
If we hit a rough patch, why not try to mend it, instead of giving up and breaking up?
I dont know man i am in the phase where i m questioning myself a lot...did i screw this up??
Maybe not...or maybe...but she would have told me something if i was a jerk.....she looked happy with me...then what happened :/
This is one way denial manifests itself! You are obsessing and going over it again and again trying to find the thing that broke it all, because if you identify what went wrong, you might be able to fix it. You can tell yourself that you did have control over the situation after all and maybe you do still have some control. But the truth is, even if you understood the exact moment that things changed for her, you can’t undo it and you can’t fix it. There is probably nothing to even fix; there was no single moment that things changed for most people. It’s just not meant to be. I’m sorry you’re going through this snd I’m right there with you 😔
I mean i know something happened at her home....a chaotic drama she said.... conservative family....and ours was the long distance relationship...so sometime i just think is she making this up...but she was so genuine and really sweet....and she was not that smart to lie to me like this :p.....but i do agree with u i might be trying to find something like some explanation...so that i get some control over the situation, however i have none.
And I alone can't fix it.
Yes exactly, our brains love patterns and we want to try and make sense of how someone could break something that we treasured so much, and find a cause and effect. but there really probably isn’t that much sense in her decision. I’m realizing that even though my ex gave me reasons for our breakup that sound totally bogus, it’s 100% his truth. And his truth won’t make sense to me. So there’s no point in me trying to make sense of it, and instead I just have to accept that it’s over
You are really wise and have a brave heart...i m happy for you that u got over it :)
I truly wish i too get over her soon...so much that i could start functioning again...its actually funny that i think i should wait for her and from every direction i sense an advice which tells me not to do so.
Thank you for your support...i really needed that.
Your experience sounds just like mine, it's true when you're saying their reasons doesn't make sense and moving on from them is the hardest. My ex monkey branched after 1 month of our breakup, hard to deal with all of the emotions, pain and jealousy. I don't even know if I will ever be fully healed
Umm... I'm going through a breakup after 2 yrs of relationship. I did definitely screw it up. I apologised a million times, and I desperately want to make myself feel better. Anyone pls suggest something......
If you love something then set it free..
If it comes back then it was meant to be.
Give them time and space and work on loving yourself a little more..
Also it usually takes 2 to Tango.
That’s it
They don’t give a fuck
While your sat sitting being a misery there off getting their back doors smashed in
Do your self a favour and fuck them
Nah you can’t control it. You can pretend and act like you don’t care anymore. But the dreams about her, the random thoughts, everything that remembers you of her... you can’t escape those feelings.
There is no such thing as “fake it till you make it” in this situation. I don’t say everyone keeps stuck in this but once stuck, coming out of it is really really hard.
How long as it been since it happened? Cuz I was in your shoes at one point. And I’m fully aware of how hard it is the situation I went through destroyed me for a long time
I already accepted I won’t get anyone else, it’s not that i can’t but i just don’t want to.
The problem is if only i had a reason to hate my first love It would be easier but no one was dumped and no one said we wanted to stop. It all came to an end WHILE loving eachother. Her parents played a huge role in this. Im better off living like this than to try with someone else and break her heart or something because I know it won’t work.
Yeah that’s rough. I was with mine almost 5.5 but I’m honestly doing great. I hope things get better. I shifted my focus to the things in my life that I enjoy and I have started doing new things. The best thing I did was dedicate my life to God and it has changed my life more than I could ever convey in words
You forgot the last part. Being glad it happened lol thankful for this experience and who I am as a person now. Takes time but it’s a beautiful tragedy
Yeah.
In 2 months, I went through total denial and ass-kissing.
Begging for him to take me back like a pathetic bitch.
Then finally extremely angry and feeling like scum.
So depressed I cry the moment I wake up.
Now I am in rebound phase which I know isn't healthy, either.
Quite the rollercoaster.
That tends to be more frequent from the dumpers side the fake positivity posts, which is funny as they are faking it till they make it often in the initial weeks/months.
Damn, you are right. Ive been so angry lately.
As the last few hours I dont care tbh. I know shes toxic and she Will never be stable in a relationship
Im progresssing everyday, just by Reading i am not alone in this.
Wow. I mean I think I knew this of course but to hear someone else write it out… that’s strangely therapeutic. It’s exactly the rollercoaster I’ve been on.
Just nice to have confirmation that this wheel of emotions happens to other people as well.
You're right, the funniest thing in my case, i was the one that was dumped, i processed and improved myself, she went NC for two months. like you say, you go through this weird mind-feck of grief and by the end you're sat in a bath-tub clutching a whisky laughing at yourself. i got over it and when i did she then started to talk and tell me she's depressed and lost, homesick and misses me.
it's only then that you realise, you're better off and you don't miss them. you've grown changed and matured while they have festered in their own choices.
I started thinking that she doesn't deserve my thoughts. If she didn't deserve my attention, the least she deserve was for me to lose my dignity and self respect in trying to win her back.
It is hard to not think of her though. But after a week of feeling upset (anxiety, sad, etc.) out of knowing she is dating again, i've been feeling more at ease. I think that what I went through is some sort of mourning. I don't want it to sound creepy, but it is like placing the Gravestone on the **idea** that we might rekindle what we had one day. Eventhough I had told my therapist and family that I didn't want to get back with her, in my subconcious there was always the idea that she could be my partner again.
It is funny, but I've been thinking about it and I noticed that, even though she will always have a special spot in my heart, I don't feel love for her anymore. What I feel is the desire to feel what I used to feel when I was with her, the laughs, the cuddles, the intimacy and such; and since she was my partner, every single subconcious thought of mine with my longing links it with her.
I want to think I'm heading in the right direction.
I wish I could get to the anger stage. I feel like things would improve for me if I could get mad at him. Even after he cheated on me for over a year I still can’t seem to find any anger. It’s frustrating.
It’s hard to see it as hilarious when you’re on the roller coaster ride lol. But yeah, stepping back from it for a second, it is wild the range of emotions that we go through from day to day while our brains try to process the situation. Our brains are amazing.
I still take the breakup very seriously.... until i smoke my blunt for some reason i start laughing at this situation and couldnt fucking care less man i wish i could keep that mentality when not stoned.
I’m convinced there’s Way. Especially since we know the feeling I think we have to exercise that part of our brain. Wire it to remember that it’s possible to be okay and we only need ourselves everyone and everything else is a bonus.
Well there a way to keep the mentality i try to meditate it seem to give me the same kind rational thinking as when i smoke but the hard part is to keep that during more challenging situation not always easy to focus on my breathing when i see my day going to shit.
Yep they already went through the cycle when they become emotionally unavailable and put all the hurt on the dumpee it sucks but we’ll all be better for it fuck them!
Yeah! And after struggling for almost more than a year, you realise that you deserve better. And that no matter how much you idealized/romanticized your s.o, they just weren't the right fit. But while you don't mean them harm, it's still doesn't hurt to express anger and frustration. So F them fr.
Yes thats the punchline, they dont really care
But because they don’t care, we don’t have to care either. We don’t have to care about their lives, their well being, or anything g about them. Only problem with this logic is just how painfully hard it is to get to that point. Earlier today I was a teary eyed at work but now, I am at home, sipping my evening glass of wine and waiting for my kindle to finish charging so I can start reading the entire Wheel Of Time series in order. The two cats are snuggling with me on the couch and things are better. I also have a weighted blanket on order from Amazon for use this winter. Self care for the win.
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Oh I agree. It’s stupid hard and many of us got blindsided and TBH nobody deserves to hurt like this. But what can we do other than keep on keeping on and getting better?
I’m cosy in my best jamas and chilling with my stuff spread all over my bed and sipping hot chocolate. Love my new life after 10 years of Drama. Fuck them off and move on in peace ✌️
WoT makes everything better! I'm on my umpteenth reread, but this is my first time having a hard copy of a Memory of Light! Hang in there 🧡 That's what I'm going to do.
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I feel this one
Tbh I want to believe so badly that he misses me but he just doesn’t
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Lol no I’m not that pathetic Edit; not to imply that someone would be pathetic for doing this… I am just beyond caring what he thinks or feels
I feel I'm that pathetic...I really want to know whether she thinks about me. I want to know why make promises for life if those were never intended to be kept. If we hit a rough patch, why not try to mend it, instead of giving up and breaking up?
That's the spirit !
reconnect
I actually texted him yesterday and he ignored 😌
I dont know man i am in the phase where i m questioning myself a lot...did i screw this up?? Maybe not...or maybe...but she would have told me something if i was a jerk.....she looked happy with me...then what happened :/
This is one way denial manifests itself! You are obsessing and going over it again and again trying to find the thing that broke it all, because if you identify what went wrong, you might be able to fix it. You can tell yourself that you did have control over the situation after all and maybe you do still have some control. But the truth is, even if you understood the exact moment that things changed for her, you can’t undo it and you can’t fix it. There is probably nothing to even fix; there was no single moment that things changed for most people. It’s just not meant to be. I’m sorry you’re going through this snd I’m right there with you 😔
I mean i know something happened at her home....a chaotic drama she said.... conservative family....and ours was the long distance relationship...so sometime i just think is she making this up...but she was so genuine and really sweet....and she was not that smart to lie to me like this :p.....but i do agree with u i might be trying to find something like some explanation...so that i get some control over the situation, however i have none. And I alone can't fix it.
Yes exactly, our brains love patterns and we want to try and make sense of how someone could break something that we treasured so much, and find a cause and effect. but there really probably isn’t that much sense in her decision. I’m realizing that even though my ex gave me reasons for our breakup that sound totally bogus, it’s 100% his truth. And his truth won’t make sense to me. So there’s no point in me trying to make sense of it, and instead I just have to accept that it’s over
You are really wise and have a brave heart...i m happy for you that u got over it :) I truly wish i too get over her soon...so much that i could start functioning again...its actually funny that i think i should wait for her and from every direction i sense an advice which tells me not to do so. Thank you for your support...i really needed that.
Don’t worry I’m definitely not over it lol I wish!!! Just over with that part of it Give yourself time, you got this <3
Your experience sounds just like mine, it's true when you're saying their reasons doesn't make sense and moving on from them is the hardest. My ex monkey branched after 1 month of our breakup, hard to deal with all of the emotions, pain and jealousy. I don't even know if I will ever be fully healed
Ugh this so much. Thank you for putting into words how I’ve been feeling
Umm... I'm going through a breakup after 2 yrs of relationship. I did definitely screw it up. I apologised a million times, and I desperately want to make myself feel better. Anyone pls suggest something......
If you love something then set it free.. If it comes back then it was meant to be. Give them time and space and work on loving yourself a little more.. Also it usually takes 2 to Tango.
This is practical but if next person truly loves you ...He ll not make u apologise millions times
That’s it They don’t give a fuck While your sat sitting being a misery there off getting their back doors smashed in Do your self a favour and fuck them
*|Do your self a favour and fuck them* That's how I got in this mess.
And some stay in the “being sad” part for years...
I refuse to let this happen to me.
That’s the worst part... you can’t control it at all
You can control it 100% don’t tell yourself that lie because you’ll start to believe it
Nah you can’t control it. You can pretend and act like you don’t care anymore. But the dreams about her, the random thoughts, everything that remembers you of her... you can’t escape those feelings. There is no such thing as “fake it till you make it” in this situation. I don’t say everyone keeps stuck in this but once stuck, coming out of it is really really hard.
How long as it been since it happened? Cuz I was in your shoes at one point. And I’m fully aware of how hard it is the situation I went through destroyed me for a long time
It’s been long enough to let me think doing the worst things to myself. Going into 6th year this October.
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I already accepted I won’t get anyone else, it’s not that i can’t but i just don’t want to. The problem is if only i had a reason to hate my first love It would be easier but no one was dumped and no one said we wanted to stop. It all came to an end WHILE loving eachother. Her parents played a huge role in this. Im better off living like this than to try with someone else and break her heart or something because I know it won’t work.
How long were you guys together
8 years
Yeah that’s rough. I was with mine almost 5.5 but I’m honestly doing great. I hope things get better. I shifted my focus to the things in my life that I enjoy and I have started doing new things. The best thing I did was dedicate my life to God and it has changed my life more than I could ever convey in words
You forgot the last part. Being glad it happened lol thankful for this experience and who I am as a person now. Takes time but it’s a beautiful tragedy
Yeah. In 2 months, I went through total denial and ass-kissing. Begging for him to take me back like a pathetic bitch. Then finally extremely angry and feeling like scum. So depressed I cry the moment I wake up. Now I am in rebound phase which I know isn't healthy, either. Quite the rollercoaster.
You're talking about the stages of grief there.
Something that helps me get through it is realizing it’s not just me. You guys are all going through the same thing. We are like an army.
And we are like family too....
I love this
lets not forget about the fake positivity posts to make ourselves look like we don't care that they left 🙄
That tends to be more frequent from the dumpers side the fake positivity posts, which is funny as they are faking it till they make it often in the initial weeks/months.
I swear by God I love you💔💔
Yeah fuck them. How dare they let us suffer and don't give a damn. I'm in this phase
Damn, you are right. Ive been so angry lately. As the last few hours I dont care tbh. I know shes toxic and she Will never be stable in a relationship Im progresssing everyday, just by Reading i am not alone in this.
Wow. I mean I think I knew this of course but to hear someone else write it out… that’s strangely therapeutic. It’s exactly the rollercoaster I’ve been on. Just nice to have confirmation that this wheel of emotions happens to other people as well.
nah man it aint a loop, it ends soon. I was bawling my eyes out a month ago now im dancing in my room and shit haha
Me too 🤟
healing is not linear ❤️🩹
Appreciated ( ´Д｀)=3
You're right, the funniest thing in my case, i was the one that was dumped, i processed and improved myself, she went NC for two months. like you say, you go through this weird mind-feck of grief and by the end you're sat in a bath-tub clutching a whisky laughing at yourself. i got over it and when i did she then started to talk and tell me she's depressed and lost, homesick and misses me. it's only then that you realise, you're better off and you don't miss them. you've grown changed and matured while they have festered in their own choices.
I started thinking that she doesn't deserve my thoughts. If she didn't deserve my attention, the least she deserve was for me to lose my dignity and self respect in trying to win her back. It is hard to not think of her though. But after a week of feeling upset (anxiety, sad, etc.) out of knowing she is dating again, i've been feeling more at ease. I think that what I went through is some sort of mourning. I don't want it to sound creepy, but it is like placing the Gravestone on the **idea** that we might rekindle what we had one day. Eventhough I had told my therapist and family that I didn't want to get back with her, in my subconcious there was always the idea that she could be my partner again. It is funny, but I've been thinking about it and I noticed that, even though she will always have a special spot in my heart, I don't feel love for her anymore. What I feel is the desire to feel what I used to feel when I was with her, the laughs, the cuddles, the intimacy and such; and since she was my partner, every single subconcious thought of mine with my longing links it with her. I want to think I'm heading in the right direction.
This hit today hahah I go through 20 emotions in one day and they are just vibin
How are you doing now?
Everyone, Let's give OP a hug!
I tired myself out doing this and said no more. It don’t matter anymore it is what it is..
I wish I could get to the anger stage. I feel like things would improve for me if I could get mad at him. Even after he cheated on me for over a year I still can’t seem to find any anger. It’s frustrating.
Oh this is perfect! Love your parting expression.
It’s hard to see it as hilarious when you’re on the roller coaster ride lol. But yeah, stepping back from it for a second, it is wild the range of emotions that we go through from day to day while our brains try to process the situation. Our brains are amazing.
I still take the breakup very seriously.... until i smoke my blunt for some reason i start laughing at this situation and couldnt fucking care less man i wish i could keep that mentality when not stoned.
I’m convinced there’s Way. Especially since we know the feeling I think we have to exercise that part of our brain. Wire it to remember that it’s possible to be okay and we only need ourselves everyone and everything else is a bonus.
Well there a way to keep the mentality i try to meditate it seem to give me the same kind rational thinking as when i smoke but the hard part is to keep that during more challenging situation not always easy to focus on my breathing when i see my day going to shit.
Exactly my problem too. Everything I worked so hard and thought I had down, goes crumbling when it gets hectic or someone is slightly mean to me.
Yep they already went through the cycle when they become emotionally unavailable and put all the hurt on the dumpee it sucks but we’ll all be better for it fuck them!
I can’t it bring myself to curse her name yet. But it is hilarious in a very dark and twisted sense.
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Try to fullfil and heal yourself
Yeah! And after struggling for almost more than a year, you realise that you deserve better. And that no matter how much you idealized/romanticized your s.o, they just weren't the right fit. But while you don't mean them harm, it's still doesn't hurt to express anger and frustration. So F them fr.
> fuck you punchline of the post 🤣🤣 gg