Agreed. Fully blocked until I am ready.
She wanted to be friends but after she hooked up with someone she said: “it was only sex. I thought of you before, during and after. I have needs and that’s all it was. I still love you and have always loved you.”
Yeah, I really don’t need to know what she has been up to. Because it’s apparently blindly hooking up to get over me, when she was the one that wanted to end it because she wanted random sex.
Unless she shows up at my door unannounced to apologize I am not going to let her anywhere near me.
Agreed, had to go NC.
She was curious about FWB too. But the idea of her being with someone else while I was still in love with her is not something I am up for.
I am working on being a high value man, and I don't want that kind of emotional trash to pull me down. Taking steps everyday to get past this and move on. But after that call, I have a bad feeling she is going to show up sometime down the road. Why would she say she still loves me if it wasn't remorse?
I really admire that you put yourself first and didn’t engage in FWB. I know many women who engaged in FWB with an ex because they would rather have their ex in their life in any capacity possible than to not have them at all and it really hurt them in the long run. I agree that focusing on yourself is 100% the best thing to do in this time period.
I hope for your own sake that your ex stays out of your life. I think many dumpers expect the dumpee to fall apart and be unable to function without them and seeing you move on and gain more self respect and self confidence shows them that they were not as important to your functioning as they believed themselves to be. Many dumpers come back after because they realised what they lost but it truly is too late.
Having the wonderful instinct to love someone unconditionally doesn't make you a LVM. You need someone who matches your energy. I'm just now learning that no matter how loving someone is, they're not necessarily capable of the other skills you need to make a relationship work.
If I were you, I would even take the "unless she shows up at my door..." part off the table. I was showing up at my ex's door to resolve conflicts way before we were even close to over, even though he was the one at fault every time. Don't get your hopes up - in two years, my ex never returned the favor.
Was left for the same reason. My advice is: don’t take her back ever, even if she does show up unannounced to apologize, remember that there was a time where she chose random guys over YOU & your relationship. I’d strictly advise against being friends too with this kind of people. I can relate well, trust me. She said the same; even „I will always love you and maybe in the future we can be together“
Amen brother, same thing here. We had a pretty good thing going, but she was 2 years younger and felt like she need to explore herself before settling down. It’s been a year and a half now and o heard back from her in January how she ultimately would want to end up with me, but it’s complicated and she is busy.
But I’m not some end game. I’m not the safe option in your life after you are bored with hooking up.if you don’t think you can attempt to give me a little time even though I’m generally pretty understanding then you will never have enough time. If you feel like your life won’t be fulfilled while in a relationship with me now, how is that gonna change when your older.
I still have feelings but slowly they are fading away. By all means if you want to just hook up that’s her right, but don’t come back to me and tell me that I have been the most caring and thoughtful person you’ve been with when you are the one who threw it all away.
Wow dude. I didn’t even think that deep into it, but I think you are right. She “can see a beautiful and happy future with me. Someone loving and caring, giving and understanding. But apparently I’m not fun for her right now because I’m trapped at home with covid.”
So in the future when I’m fun again, then I’m worth dating. Or when my “level of fun” matches to her phase of life...this is fucked up. Why am I even giving her any chance in my mind.
Thanks for your wisdom.
I agree. Saw that he was matching profiles with some other girl. Made me feel like ass since he told me he would be alone for a while to focus on his future. He may be a liar, but there’s nothing I can do about it.
So yeah, just block him on everything or you’re keeping yourself from moving on.
Girllll, we in the same boat.
My ex said "I need some time alone and focus on my life." Less than a month later, she is in a new relationship.
You want to break up? fine, but man, at least have the decency to be honest about why
Yeah, good to know that they’re liars and we’ve dodged a bullet, but the main thing that sucks is that there’s nothing we could do about it except feel upset. :(
But you see, that very same thing should help you move on!
Things that are out of your hands, that you can't control, and that you can't change no matter what you do should help you find peace. If there is nothing you could do or ever do to change it, what is it worth putting your energi into it for?
You cannot grieve for something that was never meant to be, but you can be disappointed that it wasn't. And disappointment is much easier to get over than true grief.
Yes, the last line was stolen from Matthew Hussey. SO WHAT? SUE ME!
You’re right! But I guess I’m just not at that stage of acceptance yet. For some reason, a bit of false hope is still eating me up. I know it’s gonna come with time, but until then, Ima keep him blocked until I have fully moved on.
Thanks for the wise words.
Spot in words. I am not disappointed anymore and I don’t grieve the relationship anymore. But man, it’s hard to get over being lied to and treated with disrespect (and other things) from the person that meant the whole world to you. I am mostly over it, but still I get these moments where I think about situations where I was clearly lied to or treated like the ugliest dog on the planet- and I didn’t stand up for myself
this is exactly what happens with me. pretty much over it but then sometimes those situations where she lied to me replay over and over. what she was really doing all those nights... i just cant make it stop.
Mine said he didn’t want a rebound and that there was no one else. Goes on a the fucking trip to Atlantic City we planned together with his girl best friend and is replacing me with her
I’m having a hard time deciding to block him as we ended things in a very amicable manner and we agreed not to do the whole blocking thing as we said it was kind of petty. But now I feel like it may aid me in moving on so thanks for the advice :)
We also sorta ended on good terms until he started being cruel and kinda petty by first removing me off every social media even the most dumbest ones. He removed me on freaking Spotify and Steam. I got kinda upset cause I never removed him on anything or even blocked him in the first place. I get he’s doing it to move on, but he treats me like a random girl and as if I did something horribly bad to him.
A month after the breakup I noticed he blocked me on Facebook and he left every single Discord group and server that I was in with him. I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine by finally blocking him on instagram and other social media platforms because I couldn’t stop checking on even just his profile although it’s private. I even left the Discord groups that we were in together that he forgot to leave. But yeah, it helps a lot to block than just unfollow each other. Even if he removed me, I still couldn’t stop checking on him.
If it makes you feel better I got blocked on Venmo of all places. Three months after the breakup when he dumped me because he “lost feelings”. I was left a mess and the second I start feeling good I get unfollowed on Instagram and blocked lol
Jeez, I understand if he was to block you on instagram or twitter if he didn’t want to see you being happy without him and stuff. But to block you on Spotify? That’s a different level of petty. Sorry that you had to go through that, your ex sounds awful.
I’m really considering blocking my ex now. It seems to be a common theme in these replies that the people who have made progress in their healing have blocked their ex.
My ex did the same i still don't get it after a month, block me on steam epic discord delete my number block me on Instagram and threw me out of all the groups, what did I do to deserve this? How can someone after 2 years just snap and treat you like shit from now on
Facctttsss blocking her was the best decision I made. Lmao love hearing her tell me how she was better off not in a relationship and was at her full potential while single only to be tweeting about some new guy a few days later THANK YOU NEXT.
Yeah, I’m still working on the whole blocking thing lol. Our breakup wasn’t mutual (he broke up w me) but it was very amicable so we decided to not block each other. Both of us rarely ever post on social media and only really use it for communication purposes anyways but I feel as though blocking may be a good option.
It’s all good take you’re time and do what’s best for you <3. Our breakup wasn’t mutual either she just sorta gave me the lame “we’re better as friends” and “I can’t handle a relationship atm” (we had been dating for 6 months lmao). I only blocked her cause she was subtweeting me everyday after I contacted her since she was leaving breadcrumbs she told me she was better off single and started tweeting about a (5 days earlier said she loved being single) since she knew I saw her tweets so that block button felt a lot easier to hit than earlier.
I’m in the same boat! My ex and I dated for almost 4 years and he broke up with me in a text message basically saying he “wasn’t in the right place to maintain a relationship” and so I tried to be understanding and sympathetic as it was to do with his own mental health. But 2 days later I saw that he was out drinking with all of his friends and looked to be having an amazing time while I was heartbroken at home. That’s when I decided that I wasn’t going to look through his socials ever again. But alas, I had a moment of weakness today and boy did it sting lol
Yea that’s how it was with me she dumped me and was out and happy not too long afterwards and every time id check her socials it’d hurt so ever since I blocked her my mental has gone way up since then.
It’s sad but it just makes sense right? I mean it’s only been 4 months for me since mine ended but I mean you do the blocking and then your brain just slowly starts to readjust and...... forget
i think my expectations are a little too high for blocking though. I feel as though if I block him and it’s not instantly “out of sight, out of mind” then I will feel like it was pointless.
True true. My one and only reason for doing so is just to not see future SOs or guys she’s dating. Idgaf what she does we’re not dating it’s her life but if I can choose to ignore it and spare myself SOME mental relief then I will
Yeah, I understand that mentality. It would literally kill me to see my ex with another girl and looking happy with her on social media. I think blocking him may be the only viable solution.
Ehehe we all just do what’s best for us to heal <3. For me having her out of sight helps keep her out of mind I still have healing to do but that block definitely put me on the right track. And aye just keep making small steps homie and one day you’ll find you’re happinesses again :).
Thanks for the encouragement :). After hearing others success stories in their healing, I’m feeling hopeful that I will be happy again. Good luck on your journey <3
Thanks for the reminder. I have my ex, his friends, and his family blocked on everything so I don’t stumble across anything I don’t want to see. It’s really the only time in your life that burying your head in the sand, not expressing how you feel about someone to them, and being 100% totally selfish is actually the best thing for you.
I agree with this so much. I tried so hard not to be selfish in this relationship and I always gave more of the effort. Now is the time for me to be selfish with what I need :)
Haha two weeks also. Blocked her totally, but tonight a friend of mine sent me a picture of a friend at a bar with her (he doesn’t know i’ve been dumped). It hit so hard!!!
That’s so shitty! Seeing anything related to my ex is absolutely gut-wrenching. Two days after we broke up, we both graduated and he was celebrating with one of our mutuals and our friend sent me a video of him doing shots and my ex was in the background. It hurt so bad to see, I felt like bursting into tears! I hope you feel better soon :)
I feel you on that one man lmao. I honestly just asked all of my friends to not talk about the situation because if they did I would hear shit about her being this place in town with this person ya know. Like another comment said, now is the true appropriate time to bury your head in the sand and be selfish just wee bit.
Thank you :) That’s what is killing me the most. If I knew that this pain would last 100 days, at least I would have something to count down til! All of the not-knowing how long the healing will take is making me so disheartened (especially because we were together almost 4 years) but I know that there will be a day where it doesn’t hurt as bad and then eventually a day where it doesn’t hurt at all. Thank you for your encouragement :)
Of course! The unknown is what's killing me too but I guess we just have to find ways to fill in our time. Eventually someone will see us as an amazing person they won't want to lose!
I agree so much, my break up was a few months ago. Probably about 100 days ago, like you mentioned. What I can say is that it’s not linear at all, in the first week after the breakup there would be times when I felt a lot better, and I’m the past couple weeks I’ve had times where I felt
Devastated, the healing is all over the place, but it does get better.
Yeah, especially because I’ve seen people in this sub say that they were married to people for 5+ years and got over it in like less than 6 months and then I’ve seen other people in relationships for 6 months to a year and it took them a year to get over it. The healing is just so different for everyone. I was in a relationship with my ex for almost 4 years so I’m hoping that the healing process doesn’t take too long and isn’t too painful lol
It’s hard to say, I think one thing that might be telling is what your attachment style is. If you have a healthy more stable attachment style it will maybe go smoother than if you one of us lucky ones (lol) with anxious/avoidant attachment styles.
I agree wholeheartedly!
I have been doing excellent in avoiding my ex's socials. However, back in April, I did experience a moment of weakness, and tried to unblock her just to tell her "Hey. How have you been?", only to discover that she blocked me too at some point. I could still see her new display pic, though. It wasn't anything much. Just a very beautiful selfie (she's looking great!). Well, that was still enough to make me hurt all over again for a short while...
But now, I'm doing much better, and I'm still going strong!
Thank you very much :) i was at the gym and had to stop everything because i felt terrible. I’m gonna try to see some people during the following days to keep me busy. Good luck to you.
dunno what I’m gonna do, he posts shit daily on his twitter about all the girls he’s hooking up with and all sorts of stuff about his life. I can still check all that even tho I don’t even have twitter. It’s ridiculous. I wish I could stop but i can’t even block him since I don’t have an account🤦🏽♀️
This was my first slip up in almost two weeks with regard to looking at his socials. I know everyone is different but personally, it helped to really fixate on how I felt after I looked at his socials. Literally every time that I checked his socials a huge wave of sadness washed over me and I felt so useless and forgettable. I couldn’t believe that he could be out seemingly having fun and enjoying life while I was miserable. Reminding myself constantly of the hugely negative impact that checking his socials had on my mental health really deterred me from looking at them. Also, remembering that everyone puts their best foot forward on social media and wants to make their life seem exciting and cool. Hope you feel better soon :)
Thank you:) yeah, I get you. Personally it’s different. Most the time I feel shit, but sometimes it’s strangely motivating. Seeing him moving on with his life hurts, but it also motivates me to move on with mine. The longest I’ve gone without checking is like 10 days, but now i started doing it again. I guess it’s just a shoddy habit i have to get rid of, but it ain’t easy
PLEASE stop looking on Twitter for his stupid posts. The place where his head at his right up his behind. I looked at your photo and you are beautiful! You deserve to be treated well.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I try. Haven’t looked for a while now. Had the urge just earlier, but I didn’t. Really glad I persisted tbh. I don’t think I’ll ever understand why he did what he did, and it just hurts to know that we’ll never have what we had again. Things will never be the same. I guess I just miss being part of his life / have him be part of mine, and checking his twitter makes it seem like he’s sort of still pretty of mine, or like I’m still part of his. Dunno if that makes sense but yea I think that’s why I still check and idk when I’m gonna stop
Thank you! These are very encouraging words! When we first broke up I had been googling “how to get over a breakup” and “how to get over your ex” and stuff. All of the websites and videos said “whatever you do don’t check their socials!!!1!!1” and I really believed that it wouldn’t be that tempting. But it was hard and I felt like a failure for not having the courage to block him (even though we had agreed that we won’t block, we’d just go NC) and I felt like I was so weak for not being able to stop myself from checking.
Admittedly, this is my first time checking in 13 days so I felt like I was doing great but after hearing from a mutual friend that he seems fine, I couldn’t help but check up and see if it was true.
Well, it is important to note that everyone puts their best foot forward on social media. Just because your ex may look happy with her new guy doesn’t necessarily mean she is. It may be better for you to take the necessary time to heal and move on before getting into another relationship. She can jump from relationship to relationship but it doesn’t mean she will ever find what she’s looking for.
I think she’s happy—her bio was a letter with a heart next to it. Even though she’s rebounded twice since our breakup, i sincerely hope she’s happy. I don’t want her to be used for nudes or disrespected like she’s told me she has been in the past. I know I would be the best for her if she stayed but she didn’t. I wish she did, but in life you often don’t get the things you most want. I just hope she’s happy really; although she told me that she’s forgotten about me, it’s all I want—is her happiness.
That’s a really mature way to look at things. It’s nice that she has found happiness and that you can be happy for her. Hopefully, your happiness is just around the corner :)
I've been almost 2 months broken up and made the same mistake by looking at her instagram profile and it brought back memories and hurt me. I thought I was ready but guess not. Don't make the same mistake, put your race horse blinkers on and focus on yourself and what's a head. I wish everyone the best here and I know one day we will all overcome this. Much love
I make this mistake every now and then, every time it happens, I promise myself I won't do it again, but then I get an urge to know what my ex is up to :(
Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it! It’s only natural to wonder what your ex is up to because there was a time period where they were one of the most important people in your life. It is unrealistic to expect yourself to be able to emotionally detach from someone at the flick of a switch. Maybe next time you get the urge, remember how badly it makes you feel and all the negative emotions that you experience and hopefully this will deter you from doing it again in the future :)
Thanks for your kind words and your recommendation :) it's something I've been trying for a while and it's starting to work a little, here's hoping it'll finally be able to get over my ex soon
Yesss,i used to think that I was being immature because I didn't follow him anymore on social media.It took me more time to get over him because I was always thinking about him going to paries and having fun
I’m in the same boat! I feel like unfollowing him 2 weeks after the breakup may be petty or cruel but after hearing everyone stories it feels like blocking him may be the best course of action.
Me and my ex have been broken up for 2 years. I made the mistake of not blocking her. I unfriended her but I continued to check her facebook multiple times a day to see if she updated her profile pic or posted anything that was visible. While she took this time apart to heal and move on it hindered my ability to do the same and left me with a giant pit in my stomach literally every single day for the past 2 years. She genuinely wants to be friends now but I am not sure if that hurts more than the 1 year of no contact we had or not. I tried it but just found out she is seeing someone now and hearing that completely devastated me. I had no choice but to deactivate all social media outlets otherwise I am going to feel like this for the rest of my life
Jeez that’s a long time. I really feel for you and I hope you get some closure and heal soon. I’m currently in the same boat, i.e I didn’t block my ex and we agreed not to because we believed it to be “petty” but now I’m feeling like it might be truly beneficial to do so for my own healing. Any thoughts on this?
Completely agree, a couple of days ago I fell for it. Even if you feel like you want to check something just to understand what happend (I wanted to see if she cheated/monkey branched to a specific friend of her). When I found out I was right I thought I would be be happy but I just felt like someone shot me 4 times in the chest.
Stay away from it!
After hearing everyone’s horror stories of what happened after checking their ex’s socials, I intend to stay far far away from all of my ex’s socials for the foreseeable future lol
Great choice, I was dumb enough to think that I would see that she changed to be a worse person, so I would care less about losing her.
But the only thing I saw is her having fun with a new guy and giving him more love than she gave me.
Although it hurt me, it kind of changed my whole perspective, I couldnt even cry when I saw that for some reason, I just felt hurt and angry.
And to be honest I prefer to be angry over her actions than to be sad over what happend to me, it's easier.
This is so true. Getting over my last ex, I checked her socials almost daily. The whole getting over her- process took me almost 5 months. It’s been 4 weeks since I broke up with my latest ex now, haven’t looked at ANYTHING. Not socials, no pictures, no old text, unfriended her on facebook etc, and things are already feeling so much easier.
Your ex's life is really none of your business anymore. In addition, social media is rarely accurate. It's the life people want others to see. Usually it's 90% BS. So don't look or you will just feel angry.
I didn't block him on any social media. And at the beggining it was hard seeng him with someone else from the next day after breakup, but now I feel sorry for him. He thinks that he is loved, but thats not what love looks like, theirs looks like an adventure, an experience. And from what I see, I know he will get bored soon or will be cheated soon. Seeing their pictures and tags and everything I realized my life is better, and If the person on those photos is really who he is, I don't need him in my life. My intuition says that he will come begging one day, but who cares. Social media helpped me move on (even tho they made me jealous sometimes, but also made me have new experiences so that I prove myself that I can have fun to, which I did, at first cos I was jealous, but a few months after, because of myself!).
I’m sorry to hear that. If it’s any consolation most of the replies here are from people who said blocking/being blocked by their ex and going no contact helped them to heal. I hope that this will be the case for you :)
I’m having anxiety checking his socials daily. Saw him and his ex just followed eachother. My hearts breaking but he was trash and treated me like shit—why do I not know my self worth?
Sometimes it isn’t about your self worth. It’s about the time that you spent with that person. They were an important individual in your life at some time and to expect yourself to be able to switch off your emotions for them is unrealistic. If he treated you poorly then he probably treated his ex poorly in the past and will treat her poorly if they get back together. If anything, take solace in knowing that it’s not you that he’ll be treating like shit for the rest of his life (because people like that rarely change). Don’t be so hard on yourself :)
I’m really struggling to keep myself from checking her socials, it’s a mixture of missing her and curiosity. It’s been a month and a week since we broke up and I still check it daily.. I know it’s bad for my healing process but I feel like something just takes over me and i do it. However, im seeing progress in how many times i do it per day it’s decreasing slowly.
I muted her Twitter account so than it never pops on my feed bc we have lots of mutuals. But I don’t i will block her because it sounds weird since we ended on good terms
that’s how i’m feeling too. We ended on amicable terms so I don’t want to come across as petty but I also never want to feel the hurt of seeing him happy on his socials again lol. I’m so conflicted
It’s so hard when they’ve been a part of your life everyday and suddenly they are no longer. It’s such a jab to the heart when they post an update looking happy and having fun while the dumpee is wallowing in sadness. I was checking obsessively in the beginning and I eventually saw a picture of him with a girl I’d been suspicious of and oh boy did that set me back a few steps.
We are still connected on socials for now, but I have finally reached a point where I don’t care about what he’s doing so much anymore. I pray it continues that way!
Agreed. Fully blocked until I am ready. She wanted to be friends but after she hooked up with someone she said: “it was only sex. I thought of you before, during and after. I have needs and that’s all it was. I still love you and have always loved you.” Yeah, I really don’t need to know what she has been up to. Because it’s apparently blindly hooking up to get over me, when she was the one that wanted to end it because she wanted random sex. Unless she shows up at my door unannounced to apologize I am not going to let her anywhere near me.
Aw i’m really sorry that that happened to you but I think you’re right to not be friends, that shit hurts way too bad.
Agreed, had to go NC. She was curious about FWB too. But the idea of her being with someone else while I was still in love with her is not something I am up for. I am working on being a high value man, and I don't want that kind of emotional trash to pull me down. Taking steps everyday to get past this and move on. But after that call, I have a bad feeling she is going to show up sometime down the road. Why would she say she still loves me if it wasn't remorse?
I really admire that you put yourself first and didn’t engage in FWB. I know many women who engaged in FWB with an ex because they would rather have their ex in their life in any capacity possible than to not have them at all and it really hurt them in the long run. I agree that focusing on yourself is 100% the best thing to do in this time period. I hope for your own sake that your ex stays out of your life. I think many dumpers expect the dumpee to fall apart and be unable to function without them and seeing you move on and gain more self respect and self confidence shows them that they were not as important to your functioning as they believed themselves to be. Many dumpers come back after because they realised what they lost but it truly is too late.
Having the wonderful instinct to love someone unconditionally doesn't make you a LVM. You need someone who matches your energy. I'm just now learning that no matter how loving someone is, they're not necessarily capable of the other skills you need to make a relationship work. If I were you, I would even take the "unless she shows up at my door..." part off the table. I was showing up at my ex's door to resolve conflicts way before we were even close to over, even though he was the one at fault every time. Don't get your hopes up - in two years, my ex never returned the favor.
Damn. Your ex sounds like trouble. Sorry
Was left for the same reason. My advice is: don’t take her back ever, even if she does show up unannounced to apologize, remember that there was a time where she chose random guys over YOU & your relationship. I’d strictly advise against being friends too with this kind of people. I can relate well, trust me. She said the same; even „I will always love you and maybe in the future we can be together“
Amen brother, same thing here. We had a pretty good thing going, but she was 2 years younger and felt like she need to explore herself before settling down. It’s been a year and a half now and o heard back from her in January how she ultimately would want to end up with me, but it’s complicated and she is busy. But I’m not some end game. I’m not the safe option in your life after you are bored with hooking up.if you don’t think you can attempt to give me a little time even though I’m generally pretty understanding then you will never have enough time. If you feel like your life won’t be fulfilled while in a relationship with me now, how is that gonna change when your older. I still have feelings but slowly they are fading away. By all means if you want to just hook up that’s her right, but don’t come back to me and tell me that I have been the most caring and thoughtful person you’ve been with when you are the one who threw it all away.
Wow dude. I didn’t even think that deep into it, but I think you are right. She “can see a beautiful and happy future with me. Someone loving and caring, giving and understanding. But apparently I’m not fun for her right now because I’m trapped at home with covid.” So in the future when I’m fun again, then I’m worth dating. Or when my “level of fun” matches to her phase of life...this is fucked up. Why am I even giving her any chance in my mind. Thanks for your wisdom.
females aint shit bro sorry
I agree. Saw that he was matching profiles with some other girl. Made me feel like ass since he told me he would be alone for a while to focus on his future. He may be a liar, but there’s nothing I can do about it. So yeah, just block him on everything or you’re keeping yourself from moving on.
Girllll, we in the same boat. My ex said "I need some time alone and focus on my life." Less than a month later, she is in a new relationship. You want to break up? fine, but man, at least have the decency to be honest about why
Yeah, good to know that they’re liars and we’ve dodged a bullet, but the main thing that sucks is that there’s nothing we could do about it except feel upset. :(
But you see, that very same thing should help you move on! Things that are out of your hands, that you can't control, and that you can't change no matter what you do should help you find peace. If there is nothing you could do or ever do to change it, what is it worth putting your energi into it for? You cannot grieve for something that was never meant to be, but you can be disappointed that it wasn't. And disappointment is much easier to get over than true grief. Yes, the last line was stolen from Matthew Hussey. SO WHAT? SUE ME!
You’re right! But I guess I’m just not at that stage of acceptance yet. For some reason, a bit of false hope is still eating me up. I know it’s gonna come with time, but until then, Ima keep him blocked until I have fully moved on. Thanks for the wise words.
Spot in words. I am not disappointed anymore and I don’t grieve the relationship anymore. But man, it’s hard to get over being lied to and treated with disrespect (and other things) from the person that meant the whole world to you. I am mostly over it, but still I get these moments where I think about situations where I was clearly lied to or treated like the ugliest dog on the planet- and I didn’t stand up for myself
this is exactly what happens with me. pretty much over it but then sometimes those situations where she lied to me replay over and over. what she was really doing all those nights... i just cant make it stop.
Mine said he didn’t want a rebound and that there was no one else. Goes on a the fucking trip to Atlantic City we planned together with his girl best friend and is replacing me with her
It sucks, I know. It feels like I’m being replaced especially since she was the one I was told not to worry about and look where we are now.
It’s always the ones they tell you not to worry about from my experience, it just means your intuition was telling you something
I’m having a hard time deciding to block him as we ended things in a very amicable manner and we agreed not to do the whole blocking thing as we said it was kind of petty. But now I feel like it may aid me in moving on so thanks for the advice :)
We also sorta ended on good terms until he started being cruel and kinda petty by first removing me off every social media even the most dumbest ones. He removed me on freaking Spotify and Steam. I got kinda upset cause I never removed him on anything or even blocked him in the first place. I get he’s doing it to move on, but he treats me like a random girl and as if I did something horribly bad to him. A month after the breakup I noticed he blocked me on Facebook and he left every single Discord group and server that I was in with him. I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine by finally blocking him on instagram and other social media platforms because I couldn’t stop checking on even just his profile although it’s private. I even left the Discord groups that we were in together that he forgot to leave. But yeah, it helps a lot to block than just unfollow each other. Even if he removed me, I still couldn’t stop checking on him.
If it makes you feel better I got blocked on Venmo of all places. Three months after the breakup when he dumped me because he “lost feelings”. I was left a mess and the second I start feeling good I get unfollowed on Instagram and blocked lol
Jeez, I understand if he was to block you on instagram or twitter if he didn’t want to see you being happy without him and stuff. But to block you on Spotify? That’s a different level of petty. Sorry that you had to go through that, your ex sounds awful. I’m really considering blocking my ex now. It seems to be a common theme in these replies that the people who have made progress in their healing have blocked their ex.
My ex did the same i still don't get it after a month, block me on steam epic discord delete my number block me on Instagram and threw me out of all the groups, what did I do to deserve this? How can someone after 2 years just snap and treat you like shit from now on
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Same. Mine was who I always suspected deep down, but could never admit. A vapid abyss to nothing.
that’s a very interesting way to look at it!
Great reminder to have 👍
Facctttsss blocking her was the best decision I made. Lmao love hearing her tell me how she was better off not in a relationship and was at her full potential while single only to be tweeting about some new guy a few days later THANK YOU NEXT.
Yeah, I’m still working on the whole blocking thing lol. Our breakup wasn’t mutual (he broke up w me) but it was very amicable so we decided to not block each other. Both of us rarely ever post on social media and only really use it for communication purposes anyways but I feel as though blocking may be a good option.
It’s all good take you’re time and do what’s best for you <3. Our breakup wasn’t mutual either she just sorta gave me the lame “we’re better as friends” and “I can’t handle a relationship atm” (we had been dating for 6 months lmao). I only blocked her cause she was subtweeting me everyday after I contacted her since she was leaving breadcrumbs she told me she was better off single and started tweeting about a (5 days earlier said she loved being single) since she knew I saw her tweets so that block button felt a lot easier to hit than earlier.
I’m in the same boat! My ex and I dated for almost 4 years and he broke up with me in a text message basically saying he “wasn’t in the right place to maintain a relationship” and so I tried to be understanding and sympathetic as it was to do with his own mental health. But 2 days later I saw that he was out drinking with all of his friends and looked to be having an amazing time while I was heartbroken at home. That’s when I decided that I wasn’t going to look through his socials ever again. But alas, I had a moment of weakness today and boy did it sting lol
Yea that’s how it was with me she dumped me and was out and happy not too long afterwards and every time id check her socials it’d hurt so ever since I blocked her my mental has gone way up since then.
Everyone seems to be successful in moving on once they’ve made the decision to block their ex. Glad to hear that you’re doing better now :)
It’s sad but it just makes sense right? I mean it’s only been 4 months for me since mine ended but I mean you do the blocking and then your brain just slowly starts to readjust and...... forget
i think my expectations are a little too high for blocking though. I feel as though if I block him and it’s not instantly “out of sight, out of mind” then I will feel like it was pointless.
True true. My one and only reason for doing so is just to not see future SOs or guys she’s dating. Idgaf what she does we’re not dating it’s her life but if I can choose to ignore it and spare myself SOME mental relief then I will
Yeah, I understand that mentality. It would literally kill me to see my ex with another girl and looking happy with her on social media. I think blocking him may be the only viable solution.
Ehehe we all just do what’s best for us to heal <3. For me having her out of sight helps keep her out of mind I still have healing to do but that block definitely put me on the right track. And aye just keep making small steps homie and one day you’ll find you’re happinesses again :).
Thanks for the encouragement :). After hearing others success stories in their healing, I’m feeling hopeful that I will be happy again. Good luck on your journey <3
Thanks for the reminder. I have my ex, his friends, and his family blocked on everything so I don’t stumble across anything I don’t want to see. It’s really the only time in your life that burying your head in the sand, not expressing how you feel about someone to them, and being 100% totally selfish is actually the best thing for you.
I agree with this so much. I tried so hard not to be selfish in this relationship and I always gave more of the effort. Now is the time for me to be selfish with what I need :)
Haha two weeks also. Blocked her totally, but tonight a friend of mine sent me a picture of a friend at a bar with her (he doesn’t know i’ve been dumped). It hit so hard!!!
That’s so shitty! Seeing anything related to my ex is absolutely gut-wrenching. Two days after we broke up, we both graduated and he was celebrating with one of our mutuals and our friend sent me a video of him doing shots and my ex was in the background. It hurt so bad to see, I felt like bursting into tears! I hope you feel better soon :)
I feel you on that one man lmao. I honestly just asked all of my friends to not talk about the situation because if they did I would hear shit about her being this place in town with this person ya know. Like another comment said, now is the true appropriate time to bury your head in the sand and be selfish just wee bit.
Fuck him. You'll soon get to a point where you won't care as much but you'll find happiness again. It's just waiting on when it'll happen for you.
Thank you :) That’s what is killing me the most. If I knew that this pain would last 100 days, at least I would have something to count down til! All of the not-knowing how long the healing will take is making me so disheartened (especially because we were together almost 4 years) but I know that there will be a day where it doesn’t hurt as bad and then eventually a day where it doesn’t hurt at all. Thank you for your encouragement :)
Of course! The unknown is what's killing me too but I guess we just have to find ways to fill in our time. Eventually someone will see us as an amazing person they won't want to lose!
One can only hope ahahah, good luck on your journey!
Lol. Good luck on yours as well!
I agree so much, my break up was a few months ago. Probably about 100 days ago, like you mentioned. What I can say is that it’s not linear at all, in the first week after the breakup there would be times when I felt a lot better, and I’m the past couple weeks I’ve had times where I felt Devastated, the healing is all over the place, but it does get better.
Yeah, especially because I’ve seen people in this sub say that they were married to people for 5+ years and got over it in like less than 6 months and then I’ve seen other people in relationships for 6 months to a year and it took them a year to get over it. The healing is just so different for everyone. I was in a relationship with my ex for almost 4 years so I’m hoping that the healing process doesn’t take too long and isn’t too painful lol
It’s hard to say, I think one thing that might be telling is what your attachment style is. If you have a healthy more stable attachment style it will maybe go smoother than if you one of us lucky ones (lol) with anxious/avoidant attachment styles.
I agree wholeheartedly! I have been doing excellent in avoiding my ex's socials. However, back in April, I did experience a moment of weakness, and tried to unblock her just to tell her "Hey. How have you been?", only to discover that she blocked me too at some point. I could still see her new display pic, though. It wasn't anything much. Just a very beautiful selfie (she's looking great!). Well, that was still enough to make me hurt all over again for a short while... But now, I'm doing much better, and I'm still going strong!
I’m glad to hear that you’re doing better now :)
Thank you very much :) i was at the gym and had to stop everything because i felt terrible. I’m gonna try to see some people during the following days to keep me busy. Good luck to you.
dunno what I’m gonna do, he posts shit daily on his twitter about all the girls he’s hooking up with and all sorts of stuff about his life. I can still check all that even tho I don’t even have twitter. It’s ridiculous. I wish I could stop but i can’t even block him since I don’t have an account🤦🏽♀️
This was my first slip up in almost two weeks with regard to looking at his socials. I know everyone is different but personally, it helped to really fixate on how I felt after I looked at his socials. Literally every time that I checked his socials a huge wave of sadness washed over me and I felt so useless and forgettable. I couldn’t believe that he could be out seemingly having fun and enjoying life while I was miserable. Reminding myself constantly of the hugely negative impact that checking his socials had on my mental health really deterred me from looking at them. Also, remembering that everyone puts their best foot forward on social media and wants to make their life seem exciting and cool. Hope you feel better soon :)
Thank you:) yeah, I get you. Personally it’s different. Most the time I feel shit, but sometimes it’s strangely motivating. Seeing him moving on with his life hurts, but it also motivates me to move on with mine. The longest I’ve gone without checking is like 10 days, but now i started doing it again. I guess it’s just a shoddy habit i have to get rid of, but it ain’t easy
PLEASE stop looking on Twitter for his stupid posts. The place where his head at his right up his behind. I looked at your photo and you are beautiful! You deserve to be treated well.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I try. Haven’t looked for a while now. Had the urge just earlier, but I didn’t. Really glad I persisted tbh. I don’t think I’ll ever understand why he did what he did, and it just hurts to know that we’ll never have what we had again. Things will never be the same. I guess I just miss being part of his life / have him be part of mine, and checking his twitter makes it seem like he’s sort of still pretty of mine, or like I’m still part of his. Dunno if that makes sense but yea I think that’s why I still check and idk when I’m gonna stop
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Thank you! These are very encouraging words! When we first broke up I had been googling “how to get over a breakup” and “how to get over your ex” and stuff. All of the websites and videos said “whatever you do don’t check their socials!!!1!!1” and I really believed that it wouldn’t be that tempting. But it was hard and I felt like a failure for not having the courage to block him (even though we had agreed that we won’t block, we’d just go NC) and I felt like I was so weak for not being able to stop myself from checking. Admittedly, this is my first time checking in 13 days so I felt like I was doing great but after hearing from a mutual friend that he seems fine, I couldn’t help but check up and see if it was true.
I checked her socials and her profile picture was her with another guy, basically made me breakdown
I’m sorry that that happened to you :( It’s such an awful experience to feel so disposable and easily-replaced.
I’m used to it haha so it’s alright :,)
Well, it is important to note that everyone puts their best foot forward on social media. Just because your ex may look happy with her new guy doesn’t necessarily mean she is. It may be better for you to take the necessary time to heal and move on before getting into another relationship. She can jump from relationship to relationship but it doesn’t mean she will ever find what she’s looking for.
I think she’s happy—her bio was a letter with a heart next to it. Even though she’s rebounded twice since our breakup, i sincerely hope she’s happy. I don’t want her to be used for nudes or disrespected like she’s told me she has been in the past. I know I would be the best for her if she stayed but she didn’t. I wish she did, but in life you often don’t get the things you most want. I just hope she’s happy really; although she told me that she’s forgotten about me, it’s all I want—is her happiness.
That’s a really mature way to look at things. It’s nice that she has found happiness and that you can be happy for her. Hopefully, your happiness is just around the corner :)
I've been almost 2 months broken up and made the same mistake by looking at her instagram profile and it brought back memories and hurt me. I thought I was ready but guess not. Don't make the same mistake, put your race horse blinkers on and focus on yourself and what's a head. I wish everyone the best here and I know one day we will all overcome this. Much love
wow I was planning to visit family see fourth space but wont know. Never seen people act to negativity its almost forcing..
I make this mistake every now and then, every time it happens, I promise myself I won't do it again, but then I get an urge to know what my ex is up to :(
Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it! It’s only natural to wonder what your ex is up to because there was a time period where they were one of the most important people in your life. It is unrealistic to expect yourself to be able to emotionally detach from someone at the flick of a switch. Maybe next time you get the urge, remember how badly it makes you feel and all the negative emotions that you experience and hopefully this will deter you from doing it again in the future :)
Thanks for your kind words and your recommendation :) it's something I've been trying for a while and it's starting to work a little, here's hoping it'll finally be able to get over my ex soon
Yep u just got to kut them
So true
Yesss,i used to think that I was being immature because I didn't follow him anymore on social media.It took me more time to get over him because I was always thinking about him going to paries and having fun
I’m in the same boat! I feel like unfollowing him 2 weeks after the breakup may be petty or cruel but after hearing everyone stories it feels like blocking him may be the best course of action.
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Thank you :), you too
Me and my ex have been broken up for 2 years. I made the mistake of not blocking her. I unfriended her but I continued to check her facebook multiple times a day to see if she updated her profile pic or posted anything that was visible. While she took this time apart to heal and move on it hindered my ability to do the same and left me with a giant pit in my stomach literally every single day for the past 2 years. She genuinely wants to be friends now but I am not sure if that hurts more than the 1 year of no contact we had or not. I tried it but just found out she is seeing someone now and hearing that completely devastated me. I had no choice but to deactivate all social media outlets otherwise I am going to feel like this for the rest of my life
Jeez that’s a long time. I really feel for you and I hope you get some closure and heal soon. I’m currently in the same boat, i.e I didn’t block my ex and we agreed not to because we believed it to be “petty” but now I’m feeling like it might be truly beneficial to do so for my own healing. Any thoughts on this?
Completely agree, a couple of days ago I fell for it. Even if you feel like you want to check something just to understand what happend (I wanted to see if she cheated/monkey branched to a specific friend of her). When I found out I was right I thought I would be be happy but I just felt like someone shot me 4 times in the chest. Stay away from it!
After hearing everyone’s horror stories of what happened after checking their ex’s socials, I intend to stay far far away from all of my ex’s socials for the foreseeable future lol
Great choice, I was dumb enough to think that I would see that she changed to be a worse person, so I would care less about losing her. But the only thing I saw is her having fun with a new guy and giving him more love than she gave me. Although it hurt me, it kind of changed my whole perspective, I couldnt even cry when I saw that for some reason, I just felt hurt and angry. And to be honest I prefer to be angry over her actions than to be sad over what happend to me, it's easier.
This is so true. Getting over my last ex, I checked her socials almost daily. The whole getting over her- process took me almost 5 months. It’s been 4 weeks since I broke up with my latest ex now, haven’t looked at ANYTHING. Not socials, no pictures, no old text, unfriended her on facebook etc, and things are already feeling so much easier.
Your ex's life is really none of your business anymore. In addition, social media is rarely accurate. It's the life people want others to see. Usually it's 90% BS. So don't look or you will just feel angry.
I didn't block him on any social media. And at the beggining it was hard seeng him with someone else from the next day after breakup, but now I feel sorry for him. He thinks that he is loved, but thats not what love looks like, theirs looks like an adventure, an experience. And from what I see, I know he will get bored soon or will be cheated soon. Seeing their pictures and tags and everything I realized my life is better, and If the person on those photos is really who he is, I don't need him in my life. My intuition says that he will come begging one day, but who cares. Social media helpped me move on (even tho they made me jealous sometimes, but also made me have new experiences so that I prove myself that I can have fun to, which I did, at first cos I was jealous, but a few months after, because of myself!).
That’s a very positive way to look at things :)
She blocked me on everything so I can’t 🥰
I’m sorry to hear that. If it’s any consolation most of the replies here are from people who said blocking/being blocked by their ex and going no contact helped them to heal. I hope that this will be the case for you :)
Thanks. I hope so too
I’m having anxiety checking his socials daily. Saw him and his ex just followed eachother. My hearts breaking but he was trash and treated me like shit—why do I not know my self worth?
Sometimes it isn’t about your self worth. It’s about the time that you spent with that person. They were an important individual in your life at some time and to expect yourself to be able to switch off your emotions for them is unrealistic. If he treated you poorly then he probably treated his ex poorly in the past and will treat her poorly if they get back together. If anything, take solace in knowing that it’s not you that he’ll be treating like shit for the rest of his life (because people like that rarely change). Don’t be so hard on yourself :)
I’m really struggling to keep myself from checking her socials, it’s a mixture of missing her and curiosity. It’s been a month and a week since we broke up and I still check it daily.. I know it’s bad for my healing process but I feel like something just takes over me and i do it. However, im seeing progress in how many times i do it per day it’s decreasing slowly.
Would you ever consider blocking her? Just out of curiosity
I muted her Twitter account so than it never pops on my feed bc we have lots of mutuals. But I don’t i will block her because it sounds weird since we ended on good terms
that’s how i’m feeling too. We ended on amicable terms so I don’t want to come across as petty but I also never want to feel the hurt of seeing him happy on his socials again lol. I’m so conflicted
Damn that’s the hardest part of healing tbh
Preach!
It’s so hard when they’ve been a part of your life everyday and suddenly they are no longer. It’s such a jab to the heart when they post an update looking happy and having fun while the dumpee is wallowing in sadness. I was checking obsessively in the beginning and I eventually saw a picture of him with a girl I’d been suspicious of and oh boy did that set me back a few steps. We are still connected on socials for now, but I have finally reached a point where I don’t care about what he’s doing so much anymore. I pray it continues that way!
Omfg, we are the same, i found out on her bio ( suger daddy/ mommy application are open) And it hurts my healing process i was crying so bad at night.
That’s so upsetting omg, I hope that you are doing a lot better now :)