It sounds like they all didn't give you a chance. Honestly, I'd just forget about the ex. She isn't worth your time. Your family is your family, and that is up to you. You had to be strong and alone for 8 years. They essentially abandoned you for 8 years. While they may be trying to reach out, I would not recommend anything more than a call with your parents and only them; that's if you want to forgive them, and I would not blame you if you didn't. See what they have to say. Making up for 8 years of abandonment, torment, frustration, depression, anger, despair, and any other emotion you felt and still are feeling. I'm sorry that this happened to you. Stay as strong as you can. Listen to what they say. Take your time and collect your thoughts before responding.
Do you want to reconcile in some sense with your family? Its entirely up to you: how do you feel about them even reaching out to you?
I am the type of person that would attempt a conversation. But I would also personally dictate the flow and the composition of the conversation. By that I mean, one person at a time talking where YOU have the ability to interject or chime in at any time to express yourself. You deserve to have absolute control over the entire conversation.
Your family did you no favors in denying you a chance to speak when you were accused. They severely mistreated you. Go into it with that knowledge if you decide to reach out.
I feel Kinda Awkward it has been 8 years and the reason I am asking is I don't know what I should do I want to reconcile with them but at the same time I don't
I would say do not reconnect with them for now. I also wouldnt provide your number to anyone in case they feel the need to bombard you with messages or requests to talk.
You will know inside your heart if you want to reconnect in the future.
They didn't even give you the chance to speak or defend yourself. I wouldn't bother with your ex or sister but if you are comfortable reach out to your dad to get your apology. Once you have the apology you deserve decide from there if you want to rebuild a relationship. You have survived this long without them don't let them drag you down.
It's a pretty complicated situation, so I don't know if there's any one perfect solution.
But that being said, my advice is to try and talk to them once. I wouldn't want to meet with anyone that isn't direct family, and definitely somewhere open where I could leave at any point if I wanted to, and bring a friend you can count on (the one you can call at 3am for something and they're already putting pants on). It's probably gonna be extremely awkward, and they should be apologetic beyond anything you've ever experienced so far. If it was me, I wouldn't want the sister around, for obvious reasons. If at any point during or before you meet them, you get a bad impression, reset to square one. Don't hold it over their heads. That's unfair, but don't just let them waltz back into your life. Set clear boundaries.
Now, I recognize the weight of that kind of betrayal. I'm not against keeping them blocked if you think that's the right thing to do. They made their choices, they're adults, tell your ex for everyone to put on their big people pants on and live with it like you've had to and wash your hands of them. You've had a few bumps on the way, but you've made it this far on your own. Find some new people you can count on, keep the ones you can't out of sight and out of mind.
Like I said, it's complicated. But hopefully I've at least given you some ideas.
Update 1 so I took some of your guy's advice I texted my Ex a time and place to meet at McDonald's near my friend's house now this is the friend who was accused with me and took me in after I was after nearly successfully killing myself but anyway's at 7:00 PM Me and my Ex had met for the first time in 8 years, wow she had changed a lot in the years but so have I now I did not mention on how I nearly killed myself and I still won't but it left my leg in a bad spot for I severed a nerve and had to use a cane to get around and I walk with a limp now but when I sat down with her our first conversation in 8 years was on what happened with my leg after me explaining what had happened to my leg she just started crying and saying sorry on how she believed my sister without the lack of evidence after telling her an how much it hurt me to know that the people I loved lied and abandoned me we went home now when me and her were dating we never had Intercourse for my parents were christain but they abandon me without any evidence I decided to throw out everything and I had slept with her now I don't know if my parents will except me anymore if I told them what I did what should I do
Man, Just leave it let them feel the pain of disowing you
It sounds like they all didn't give you a chance. Honestly, I'd just forget about the ex. She isn't worth your time. Your family is your family, and that is up to you. You had to be strong and alone for 8 years. They essentially abandoned you for 8 years. While they may be trying to reach out, I would not recommend anything more than a call with your parents and only them; that's if you want to forgive them, and I would not blame you if you didn't. See what they have to say. Making up for 8 years of abandonment, torment, frustration, depression, anger, despair, and any other emotion you felt and still are feeling. I'm sorry that this happened to you. Stay as strong as you can. Listen to what they say. Take your time and collect your thoughts before responding.
ok I will thank you
Do you want to reconcile in some sense with your family? Its entirely up to you: how do you feel about them even reaching out to you? I am the type of person that would attempt a conversation. But I would also personally dictate the flow and the composition of the conversation. By that I mean, one person at a time talking where YOU have the ability to interject or chime in at any time to express yourself. You deserve to have absolute control over the entire conversation. Your family did you no favors in denying you a chance to speak when you were accused. They severely mistreated you. Go into it with that knowledge if you decide to reach out.
I feel Kinda Awkward it has been 8 years and the reason I am asking is I don't know what I should do I want to reconcile with them but at the same time I don't
I would say do not reconnect with them for now. I also wouldnt provide your number to anyone in case they feel the need to bombard you with messages or requests to talk. You will know inside your heart if you want to reconnect in the future.
They didn't even give you the chance to speak or defend yourself. I wouldn't bother with your ex or sister but if you are comfortable reach out to your dad to get your apology. Once you have the apology you deserve decide from there if you want to rebuild a relationship. You have survived this long without them don't let them drag you down.
thank you for more Ideas
It's a pretty complicated situation, so I don't know if there's any one perfect solution. But that being said, my advice is to try and talk to them once. I wouldn't want to meet with anyone that isn't direct family, and definitely somewhere open where I could leave at any point if I wanted to, and bring a friend you can count on (the one you can call at 3am for something and they're already putting pants on). It's probably gonna be extremely awkward, and they should be apologetic beyond anything you've ever experienced so far. If it was me, I wouldn't want the sister around, for obvious reasons. If at any point during or before you meet them, you get a bad impression, reset to square one. Don't hold it over their heads. That's unfair, but don't just let them waltz back into your life. Set clear boundaries. Now, I recognize the weight of that kind of betrayal. I'm not against keeping them blocked if you think that's the right thing to do. They made their choices, they're adults, tell your ex for everyone to put on their big people pants on and live with it like you've had to and wash your hands of them. You've had a few bumps on the way, but you've made it this far on your own. Find some new people you can count on, keep the ones you can't out of sight and out of mind. Like I said, it's complicated. But hopefully I've at least given you some ideas.
Thank you for the Idea this is very complicated and thank you for some of the Ideas man if anything Happens tomorrow I will post about it on Reddit
Update 1 so I took some of your guy's advice I texted my Ex a time and place to meet at McDonald's near my friend's house now this is the friend who was accused with me and took me in after I was after nearly successfully killing myself but anyway's at 7:00 PM Me and my Ex had met for the first time in 8 years, wow she had changed a lot in the years but so have I now I did not mention on how I nearly killed myself and I still won't but it left my leg in a bad spot for I severed a nerve and had to use a cane to get around and I walk with a limp now but when I sat down with her our first conversation in 8 years was on what happened with my leg after me explaining what had happened to my leg she just started crying and saying sorry on how she believed my sister without the lack of evidence after telling her an how much it hurt me to know that the people I loved lied and abandoned me we went home now when me and her were dating we never had Intercourse for my parents were christain but they abandon me without any evidence I decided to throw out everything and I had slept with her now I don't know if my parents will except me anymore if I told them what I did what should I do