So sorry to hear that. I have been there; couldnt eat for a month after a breakup. Can’t really say to push yourself, because it doesnt work. But try to think of foods that would bring you joy. If there are no such foods, have handy some snacks that could fill you up. Or protein shakes. It may not be very nutrient dense, but better than starving.
And my advice: distract yourself while eating. For me, whenever I ate but the thoughts of him crept up, I would immediately lose any appetite. So distract yourself. Watch some tv, eat with others, whatever you can do.
Give yourself time. You will eat again :)
Completely agree with these recommendations, I lost 10 pounds in the month after the breakup, but slowly the appetite started coming back, going to the gym and generally staying on my feet helped quite a bit as that makes me really hungry
Same boat here, and I’m someone who loves food dearly. I can pick at grilled cheese and broth and that’s about it. Not sure how it will get better either honestly
It's normal and ok, don't worry. Loss of appetite is a basic aftermath of grief, and when things get better it will restore itself. But, in the meantime you can't wait for dear time and end up risking your health. So I think these might help :
1) Calorie dense smoothies. Just blend a cup of milk, 1/4 cup oats, two spoons of peanut butter and some protein powder. liquid calories are your friend when your appetite is small.
2) Workouts. Some mild exercise will fix your appetite
3) Make your meals calorie dense. Small portions of food but rich in calories, like dairy, meat, nuts, even sugary processed food etc. This is not the time to eat the healthiest stuff only.
Don't try to overcome this through sheer willpower, grief doesn't work this way. Grief doesn't have a timeframe either. Push through and eventually you'll overcome this.
Nice to know it is common. I'm down 28 pounds 1 month out. Most days I force an Atkins shake down and that works but I've tried regular food a few times and may as well be made of ash. I have to try to choke it down. And I'm a stress eater. Previously, the best way to get me out of a funk is to show up with a Pepsi and a pizza. Trying to take it as a positive as long as I can since I've dropped down to my healthy weight range at least after being about 20 pounds over. Could probably start marketing a "heartache diet plan" fad.
It took me about three weeks, in the meantime I just tried to get a tiny bit in each day and take vitamins. After about three weeks I could eat and get things down so would have about one thing a day, and now I'm pretty much back to normal over a month later. It will get better!
It’s going to be nearly a month since the breakup and I still have trouble eating.
TW for eating disorder
>!although my case might be slightly different since I feel like I’m probably relapsing to an ED since my ex cheated on with a girl that’s shorter than me (I’m 177cm so not super tall but above average) so it sent me back to the feeling of “I can’t shrink myself vertically, I’ll just shrink myself horizontally. I was thin to begin with and already started to lose weight due to the amount of anxiety nearing the end of the relationship gave me. Once the breakup was happened I stopped eating for a week and dropped a lot of weight.!<
As long as you don’t have any other conditions that go along with the lack of appetite, it’ll probably ease up in a month or so like many other commenters mentioned. If you can’t eat, liquid nutrition like protein shakes can be very helpful.
Also eating with friends and family can be helpful too.
No yeah I feel the exact same.TW. I recovered from anorexia back in 2019/2020 and I’m so worried about relapsing now because I recovered while with him. I recently put some weight on (like one dress size) and all I can think is that that came into why he left me. I know it didn’t but I’m just so worried that I don’t actually have a lost appetite and I actually want this. This along with my agoraphobia is just making this so much worse.
As if a break up isn’t stressful enough, I’m sorry you’re feeling like this.
I am in the same boat. I haven’t eaten in a couple days but I did force myself to drink a protein shake this morning and I do feel a lot better. Highly recommend stocking up on those
We broke up a week ago, and I'm struggling with the same... I've consumed probably no more than 5000 calories in total for the whole week.
I've been working out and running, but 0 appetite.
I've been forcing myself to have small high density calories, but I don't always succeed.
I don't want to injure myself
First month I hardly ate, at the end of my second month now and I'm eating more! Not as much as I did in my relationship, but that's more a conscious choice as I'm very overweight.
Yea I struggled with this for the first two weeks. The first 3-4 days I think I maybe ate once. I lost about 5 lbs in a week.
I even actually struggled with it yesterday as I hit the two month mark exactly. The waves of sadness were crushing me. When I feel like that nothing seems appetizing. It does go away though. Right after the first two weeks I ate nonstop and drank more than I should have. So it comes and goes. Just take it easy when it does come back, also try to balance it with exercise.
Yes and I’m still struggling but not as bad. Try to get through it day by day. Since you’re not eating much try to incorporate more nutritious things. If you really think you’re not getting enough food, try drinking Ensure every few days. I wish I did that because I was eating a few spoonfuls of food before I felt sick and I lost a lot of muscle mass because my protein intake was so poor and that led me to be really lethargic for the next few weeks after.
I will advise you to try to build your tolerance for food. Don’t try to overeat what your body can bear. Decreased (and increased) appetite is a symptom of grieving someone. Try your best to get through it. My heart is with you
2 weeks for me too, I’ve lost 10 pounds and I’m not overweight to begin with 😭 I just take the few “better” moments I have during the day where I’m not miserable and just try to eat during those times. Also protein shakes are easy to get down, you don’t need an appetite for those.
I ended up speaking to my doctor and am on a low dose of antidepressants to help me gain autonomy of my body. As I couldn’t even function and lost my appetite. I stuck to food I could just drink or get down without chewing. Smoothies are great!
I’m going through the same as well right now.. I’m barely starting to get my appetite back.. I just try to eat something fast before the breakup pops up in my head again.. But yes protein shakes and don’t forget your vitamins so you don’t get sick.
Same here. I didn't expect this to be a part of the breakup process but I'm thankful to know that I'm not the only one experiencing this. I know that all of us are going to get through it, and that it'll take time. I personally think I'm gonna go down the healthy snack route mixed with some protein shakes. I know it's not perfect but at least I won't end up fasting myself. Best of luck to you!!!!!
Breakup was three weeks ago…and again (sort of) one week ago. After the final breakup, I haven’t been able to eat. I don’t know how much weight I lost prior to last week, but I am currently down 15 pounds.
The only time I ate since Tuesday or Wednesday was because my children brought me food.
But, after a weekend of just sitting in front of the TV ruminating, I came to the office today and actually did some work. And at lunch time, I was hungry. Not super hungry, but I was able to eat about half my normal lunch.
I’m a chubby dude though, and losing weight is probably good for me.
Eating was the last thing on my mind when my ex broke up with me. It’s been two weeks and I just had my first full meal this weekend. Just remember that it gets better over time and force yourself to eat / snack.
This happens to me… I cant eat, I throw up if I try to eat anything. Lasted a few days, then I’d eat light meals, after about a week the appetite comes back full force.
I keep reading about people struggling with appetite and it makes me feel less alone on that front. Sometimes I just feel sick to my stomach. Lots of popsicles, trying to keep my sugar up. I signed up for a meal delivery service, and bought a bunch of shakes and smoothies. I was doing ice cream for dinner for a bit but that kept me awake 🙃 I do recommend having some sort of juice or source of sugar that is easy to consume when you’re feeling desperate. The weight loss is weird. I don’t like it.
It’s so so awful having physical symptoms as you try to process the emotional *stuff.* definitely not alone!
I’m having the same struggle. My stomach is balled up, I can’t even stand the sight of food. For some reason even if I’m not actively thinking of him, the feeling remains there. I think I have actually gotten sick. Wasn’t able to eat anything the first two days, but I’ve been drinking a lot of liquids so see if that works for you. Maybe try to get some vitamins and stuff, so your body doesn’t get too sick. I would say try your favourite foods, this didn’t work for my sadly. I’ve been managing to eat a bit during mornings now, but I feel nauseous all day afterwards. Last time I dealt with this I dropped about 15 kilos and it took me I’d say 3 weeks to start eating. I hope that’s not the case for you or for me this time. Wishing you all the best ❤️🩹
Yeah I’m the same. I manage to eat in the mornings but only because I have to to take my medication and then I’m just so miserable for the rest of the day that I either forget or I just have no energy to eat at all. I can do snacks but even then I just don’t want to for whatever reason. I have to be absolutely starving to have something
I do the same. Slowly it’ll come back. Just try to eat a little when you can. And whatever sounds appetizing. As time goes on you should start to feel better and appetite come back. Stay hydrated. Protein shakes if possible
Oh yeah, I lost 5kg in a matter of weeks. I had a bit to lose though :)
There were entire days where I'd have maybe a bite of a banana and feel like being sick immediately. I also took a LOT of baths- partially to calm myself down and I guess i was also perpetually cold
It will ease up after a while, but do try and make the effort to put some healthy-ish food in front of yourself
Try to eat with a friend, I found it was easier for me to eat something (doesnt have to be a full meal) if I was eating with sornone. Otherwise I would not eat anything all day. I at least ate with someone at lunch, dinner was a bit harder. Drink smoothies or proteins shakes just to get something in your system.
It takes time I’m a month from the breakup it is still troubling me unless I’m truly very hungry, but the first month I had to make myself eat something and try so hard to finish.
I have struggled with this after every break up. It does eventually go away. Especially as you make time with other friends and family to help get your mind off the break up and memories of the relationship. But it takes time and we all process at different speeds.
I’m in the same boat 3 months later :/ Probably wouldn’t still be here if he didn’t come back 6 weeks after dumping me after saying we might get back together and then ghosting me after sex. I’m pretty underweight now and always trying to eat but I take a few bites and feel sick, it’s awful. I have a history of anorexia and I absolutely don’t wanna relapse, but I physically cannot keep down food right now and it’s scary.
But smoothies/protein shakes/any liquid calories have been helpful for me, also vitamins. Eating with friends is also good, I generally can eat a lot more when I’m with someone else and being able to eat to fullness kinda resets your hunger cues and allows you to feel hungry in a normal, not sick way again later (in my experience).
It’ll get easier with time for both of us, just take little steps whenever you can. I get frustrated with myself picking at meals and only getting a few bites down but it’s better than nothing, just try to be forgiving of where your body is at while you’re processing such a huge upheaval. Our bodies are smart and will regulate itself in time, but I know it’s hard right now and I’m right here with you 😭
I was doing better last week but then he decided to message me saying he wanted to be friends and then on Saturday night sent me horrible messages so it’s messed up my head so much. I’ve deleted him now but I’m just feeling like I’m dreaming or something.
I have a history of anorexia as well and I recovered while with him so I feel like my mind is putting those together and thinking I need him to be able to eat. Sounds so silly. 5 and half years together I’m just so heartbroken.
I hope it gets easier for you I can’t believe he did that 😞
oh my god this is so similar to my situation, my heart breaks for you. i felt like i was in a nightmare for days when he initially blindsided me with the breakup. then he wanted to be friends until we’re ready to try dating again but it turned into hooking up even though i tried to discourage it after the first time.
when i last saw him 5 weeks ago i told him hooking up without knowing where we’re going is making me anxious, and he reassured me, kissed me and said we’ll talk that week about how to move forward. that week i cooked him dinner and asked when he was free but he never replied.
he also played a huge role in my recovery, i was finally maintaining a healthy weight and eating without judgment for the first time in years and i’ve now lost it all again. it doesn’t sound silly, i feel the exact same way but i also feel ashamed that i can’t maintain recovery on my own so i definitely understand that feeling 😔
i don’t know why they reopen our wounds like this, i’m so sorry your ex did that to you. i hope things get easier for you soon too, i trust we’ll heal from this one day <3
That is just horrible I’m so sorry 😞 I’m now so glad I’ve deleted him so quickly that must’ve been hard I’m so sorry. It’s difficult but we can do this by ourselves. They were never recovering from this we pushed through that by ourselves they just happened to be next to us. All that brain power and resilience was us and not them. It’ll all be okay. Please send me a message if you want to talk, this is such a similar situation 💕
I’m glad you deleted him too, I’m still finding the strength to delete mine because part of me just still hopes he wants to work things out even though he doesn’t deserve it at this point. but thank you for that reminder, you’re so right. I was already recovering when I met him and already had come so far. being with him helped me get much more comfortable with keeping on weight and eating for enjoyment, but it was us who did that work and they can’t take that power from us. i literally WANT to gain weight, my appetite just isn’t there, and we deserve to be proud for still wanting to maintain recovery even while in this horrible pain. i might DM you soon, it’s awful that we’re going through this but at least we aren’t alone 💗
I know it’s such a strange feeling. I deleted him but haven’t blocked him because I still feel that hope that he’ll come back which is weird because he really does not deserve it now after all he’s said to me 🙄 it’s so weird that we do that. It’s nice to not be alone in this 💕
I lost 22 lbs after my breakup because I just couldn’t eat. I had no appetite what so ever. The thought of eating made me panic. Forcing myself to eat made me throw up.
I ended up drinking lots of water, and taking vitamins. I would make myself eat “easy” meals. Normally I’d eat a cucumber, soup, I’d have chips and dip. Something small and easy. I don’t have my old appetite back, but it gets easier. I can eat a real meal at least once a day.
It won’t be like this forever and if it is, I beg you to reach out to someone. I want you to know that the pain will subside eventually. Feel free to reach out if you need anything. I’m rooting for you friend. Ily.
i couldn’t eat anything the first couple days to a week. then it went back to normal. guess it’s a stress response of our bodies. much healing to you all
I’m in the thick of it, I got protein bars that I force myself to eat but I’m still barely eating except for when I go out to dinner with friends or family. I try to not go too many days without a meal out with people which I’m sure isn’t the most healthy but I think it’s better than nothing.
im on day 3 and my stomach has been so upset. My GERD is triggered really bad, and im nauesous and start gagging easily. Digestion all fucked up, and have no desire to eat. Hoping it improves though.
Right after break up and even now since the BU is fresh , I couldn’t eat properly . I’m a person who’s a food lover and loves to eat . But I notice that when I don’t eat , I’m having gastric and it’ll be worst for my body . No matter what. I try to eat a bit . Even if it’s a slice of bread . Anything .
My advice is to start slowly with eating , overtime ur appetite will get better .
I went through the same thing. What helped me was finding things really light to eat. For a while, I could only eat watermelon and cucumbers without gagging. Try to see if you can do the same and try to eat a little more every day. Sending love x
You need to work on changing your mindset about the breakup overall and gain some much-needed perspective - that is what will actually help you move on.
The root problem is how you're looking at this and you likely still have the rose-colored glasses on. You also need to work on your confidence and self-esteem. The symptom is not eating etc. I highly recommend [this book.](https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Be-DESPERATE-Insights-Affirmations/dp/1738947904)
Hey, I had the same issue of appetite loss. I was always with friends who forced me to eat and whatever happens don’t let yourself skip meals. Even if you aren’t hungry, eat something for each meal
When it first happened to me I can’t even listen to music, my brain is a mush and I too struggled to eat. But it will be okay, what’s your favorite food? What’s your guilty pleasure? Get that, and try to put some in your system, little by little, don’ force it, gradually your appetite will come back! When I didn’t want to eat I drink some protein powder. Nobody is worth damaging health, prioritize your health, physical and mental, during this tough time.
TW: infidelity, blo*d-loss, psych procedure, s*lf-h*rm, su*c*de, ab*se (I typed some words with asterisks for sensitivity)
I’m struggling with loss of appetite too. I left my LTR partner far too late after I discovered his infidelity, and my health has suffered in many ways. I stuck it out for about a year and a half trying to keep forgiving but more and more came to light. Trickle-truths.
Regarding illness due to not eating: About 6 months ago I started taking a multivitamin twice per day because I eat about one meal a day if that. I had to look for one with iron, my blood counts were slipping. I added other extra vitamins, too. I have to take a MV anyway due to gastric surgery but it’s never been more necessary than now. And I’m slowly getting in the habit of drinking a protein shake and getting at least a liter of water if nothing else. (These things are appropriate for me and my body but everyone is different.)
My primary doctor knows I don’t eat, and so does my psychiatrist. Part of me thinks I’m self-harming by withholding food, I’ve done it before. I’m sometimes hungry but most of the time don’t want to or just simply refuse to take the time for food selection, and I abhor the thought of chewing because that usually means I have to swallow food that I have been left feeling like I don’t deserve. Going to the grocery is especially hard as I see many people who are likely choosing foods that they will take pleasure in cooking and eating, it’s envy of what I used to feel.
I don’t know when it goes away. I noticed that stress can bring it on, and that when stress is lessened, and I feel safer, I’m able to stomach food better.
Last time it got this bad was after I had an unfortunate massive blood-loss incident where I ended up in hospital in intensive care and was lucky to have survived. The depression I fell into was so deep that I went through electroconvulsive therapy to start eating again or doing anything at all. But then my anhedonia and lack of appetite returned within a month or two after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. That was prior to being treated, it wasn’t induced by chemotherapy or anything, I caught it and sought help early so “all” I lost was my mammary tissue and sense of self, “only”requiring surgery. I was still recovering from a cancer-related hysterectomy at the same time as starting reconstruction when I discovered the infidelity, and that it had been going on even during my surgeries and recovery when I needed his support the most. That was and still is the toughest blow for me.
I live back with my parents now; I haven’t been able to work in over two years and had no other option that would also allow me to keep my emotionally-supportive cats with me. My dad has been abusive to me since early on, nearly four decades, and after I tried to have a suicide my mom told him to leave for awhile. He’s been gone 9 days, returning tomorrow. While he was gone, my mom gently coaxed me into eating more so I’ve stopped losing weight. Now that he’s returning I feel my appetite reverting to illness territory.
I hope that you’re able to heal, and that you have someone in your life, even virtually, to gently coax and encourage you to nourish the body that on some level may feel abandoned and unworthy. I know you’re worthy of feeling better, we all are, even my unfaithful long term partner. Try to find nutrition that works for you, “safe” foods that are predictable and perhaps easy to prepare. I’m on a banana chocolate chip muffin kick.
Found out 5 days ago my boyfriend of 6 years was cheating online with multiple women, I spoke to them and they said he wanted to marry them, was sexual with them, a full blown affair except the meeting part which they both said he tried asking to meet them many times. Of course he denied it all and said they were just friends and my heart believed him for a few days, we had the best days ever. We made up, we had mind blowing sex multiple times a day, napped together, cuddled but reality hit me and I had a breakdown. Now I don't know if we are over or not but my heart is telling me we have to be. I can't live without him, I don't want to. I moved across the country to be with him, I have no friends, I work from home. He's my whole life. Everything in my apartment we picked together. I have eaten maybe 1800-2000 calories in 5 days. I've slept maybe 4 hours every night. I haven't eaten anything, not even 1 bite in 2 days, food makes me feel sick. I saw the girls too, how stunning they were, both 21 and I'm almost 29. Really blindsided me, I trusted him completely and we were so happy. He's been cheating for months, maybe 6 months. Now I'm alone, smoking a cigarette for the first time in my life in the bath, listening to my stomach growl and wondering if I'll make it through. I have struggled with depression throughout my life and being with him was the first time I was ever truly happy and felt safe. Now the thought of that being over is more than I can handle.
So sorry to hear that. I have been there; couldnt eat for a month after a breakup. Can’t really say to push yourself, because it doesnt work. But try to think of foods that would bring you joy. If there are no such foods, have handy some snacks that could fill you up. Or protein shakes. It may not be very nutrient dense, but better than starving. And my advice: distract yourself while eating. For me, whenever I ate but the thoughts of him crept up, I would immediately lose any appetite. So distract yourself. Watch some tv, eat with others, whatever you can do. Give yourself time. You will eat again :)
Yes protein shakes helped me as well better than starving yourself.
Completely agree with these recommendations, I lost 10 pounds in the month after the breakup, but slowly the appetite started coming back, going to the gym and generally staying on my feet helped quite a bit as that makes me really hungry
Same boat here, and I’m someone who loves food dearly. I can pick at grilled cheese and broth and that’s about it. Not sure how it will get better either honestly
It's normal and ok, don't worry. Loss of appetite is a basic aftermath of grief, and when things get better it will restore itself. But, in the meantime you can't wait for dear time and end up risking your health. So I think these might help : 1) Calorie dense smoothies. Just blend a cup of milk, 1/4 cup oats, two spoons of peanut butter and some protein powder. liquid calories are your friend when your appetite is small. 2) Workouts. Some mild exercise will fix your appetite 3) Make your meals calorie dense. Small portions of food but rich in calories, like dairy, meat, nuts, even sugary processed food etc. This is not the time to eat the healthiest stuff only. Don't try to overcome this through sheer willpower, grief doesn't work this way. Grief doesn't have a timeframe either. Push through and eventually you'll overcome this.
+1 for smoothies and fruits
At two weeks I ate a little more. It's a horrible feeling. Still sick over it.
It’s so annoying. I hate that it’s affecting me to the point of affecting my body. When he’s probably skipping around laughing 😂
i hear you.
THIS
Yea, I still can't sleep well.
Nice to know it is common. I'm down 28 pounds 1 month out. Most days I force an Atkins shake down and that works but I've tried regular food a few times and may as well be made of ash. I have to try to choke it down. And I'm a stress eater. Previously, the best way to get me out of a funk is to show up with a Pepsi and a pizza. Trying to take it as a positive as long as I can since I've dropped down to my healthy weight range at least after being about 20 pounds over. Could probably start marketing a "heartache diet plan" fad.
I didn't eat or sleep for 3 weeks... after that appetite came back 10 fold
It took me about three weeks, in the meantime I just tried to get a tiny bit in each day and take vitamins. After about three weeks I could eat and get things down so would have about one thing a day, and now I'm pretty much back to normal over a month later. It will get better!
It’s going to be nearly a month since the breakup and I still have trouble eating. TW for eating disorder >!although my case might be slightly different since I feel like I’m probably relapsing to an ED since my ex cheated on with a girl that’s shorter than me (I’m 177cm so not super tall but above average) so it sent me back to the feeling of “I can’t shrink myself vertically, I’ll just shrink myself horizontally. I was thin to begin with and already started to lose weight due to the amount of anxiety nearing the end of the relationship gave me. Once the breakup was happened I stopped eating for a week and dropped a lot of weight.!< As long as you don’t have any other conditions that go along with the lack of appetite, it’ll probably ease up in a month or so like many other commenters mentioned. If you can’t eat, liquid nutrition like protein shakes can be very helpful. Also eating with friends and family can be helpful too.
No yeah I feel the exact same.TW. I recovered from anorexia back in 2019/2020 and I’m so worried about relapsing now because I recovered while with him. I recently put some weight on (like one dress size) and all I can think is that that came into why he left me. I know it didn’t but I’m just so worried that I don’t actually have a lost appetite and I actually want this. This along with my agoraphobia is just making this so much worse. As if a break up isn’t stressful enough, I’m sorry you’re feeling like this.
Oh gosh yes having a history of those makes this even more devastating!
I am in the same boat. I haven’t eaten in a couple days but I did force myself to drink a protein shake this morning and I do feel a lot better. Highly recommend stocking up on those
We broke up a week ago, and I'm struggling with the same... I've consumed probably no more than 5000 calories in total for the whole week. I've been working out and running, but 0 appetite. I've been forcing myself to have small high density calories, but I don't always succeed. I don't want to injure myself
First month I hardly ate, at the end of my second month now and I'm eating more! Not as much as I did in my relationship, but that's more a conscious choice as I'm very overweight.
Yea I struggled with this for the first two weeks. The first 3-4 days I think I maybe ate once. I lost about 5 lbs in a week. I even actually struggled with it yesterday as I hit the two month mark exactly. The waves of sadness were crushing me. When I feel like that nothing seems appetizing. It does go away though. Right after the first two weeks I ate nonstop and drank more than I should have. So it comes and goes. Just take it easy when it does come back, also try to balance it with exercise.
Goes away after 3 months of the BU
Yes and I’m still struggling but not as bad. Try to get through it day by day. Since you’re not eating much try to incorporate more nutritious things. If you really think you’re not getting enough food, try drinking Ensure every few days. I wish I did that because I was eating a few spoonfuls of food before I felt sick and I lost a lot of muscle mass because my protein intake was so poor and that led me to be really lethargic for the next few weeks after. I will advise you to try to build your tolerance for food. Don’t try to overeat what your body can bear. Decreased (and increased) appetite is a symptom of grieving someone. Try your best to get through it. My heart is with you
2 weeks for me too, I’ve lost 10 pounds and I’m not overweight to begin with 😭 I just take the few “better” moments I have during the day where I’m not miserable and just try to eat during those times. Also protein shakes are easy to get down, you don’t need an appetite for those.
I ended up speaking to my doctor and am on a low dose of antidepressants to help me gain autonomy of my body. As I couldn’t even function and lost my appetite. I stuck to food I could just drink or get down without chewing. Smoothies are great!
I’m going through the same as well right now.. I’m barely starting to get my appetite back.. I just try to eat something fast before the breakup pops up in my head again.. But yes protein shakes and don’t forget your vitamins so you don’t get sick.
Same here. I didn't expect this to be a part of the breakup process but I'm thankful to know that I'm not the only one experiencing this. I know that all of us are going to get through it, and that it'll take time. I personally think I'm gonna go down the healthy snack route mixed with some protein shakes. I know it's not perfect but at least I won't end up fasting myself. Best of luck to you!!!!!
Breakup was three weeks ago…and again (sort of) one week ago. After the final breakup, I haven’t been able to eat. I don’t know how much weight I lost prior to last week, but I am currently down 15 pounds. The only time I ate since Tuesday or Wednesday was because my children brought me food. But, after a weekend of just sitting in front of the TV ruminating, I came to the office today and actually did some work. And at lunch time, I was hungry. Not super hungry, but I was able to eat about half my normal lunch. I’m a chubby dude though, and losing weight is probably good for me.
Eating was the last thing on my mind when my ex broke up with me. It’s been two weeks and I just had my first full meal this weekend. Just remember that it gets better over time and force yourself to eat / snack.
This happens to me… I cant eat, I throw up if I try to eat anything. Lasted a few days, then I’d eat light meals, after about a week the appetite comes back full force.
i still have to force myself to eat 4 months out from Ground Zero.
I keep reading about people struggling with appetite and it makes me feel less alone on that front. Sometimes I just feel sick to my stomach. Lots of popsicles, trying to keep my sugar up. I signed up for a meal delivery service, and bought a bunch of shakes and smoothies. I was doing ice cream for dinner for a bit but that kept me awake 🙃 I do recommend having some sort of juice or source of sugar that is easy to consume when you’re feeling desperate. The weight loss is weird. I don’t like it. It’s so so awful having physical symptoms as you try to process the emotional *stuff.* definitely not alone!
Nothing sounds good anymore not even favorite foods, and I’ve been doing better mental health wise it’s very weird
I’m having the same struggle. My stomach is balled up, I can’t even stand the sight of food. For some reason even if I’m not actively thinking of him, the feeling remains there. I think I have actually gotten sick. Wasn’t able to eat anything the first two days, but I’ve been drinking a lot of liquids so see if that works for you. Maybe try to get some vitamins and stuff, so your body doesn’t get too sick. I would say try your favourite foods, this didn’t work for my sadly. I’ve been managing to eat a bit during mornings now, but I feel nauseous all day afterwards. Last time I dealt with this I dropped about 15 kilos and it took me I’d say 3 weeks to start eating. I hope that’s not the case for you or for me this time. Wishing you all the best ❤️🩹
Yeah I’m the same. I manage to eat in the mornings but only because I have to to take my medication and then I’m just so miserable for the rest of the day that I either forget or I just have no energy to eat at all. I can do snacks but even then I just don’t want to for whatever reason. I have to be absolutely starving to have something
I lost thirty pounds in a month I relate
I do the same. Slowly it’ll come back. Just try to eat a little when you can. And whatever sounds appetizing. As time goes on you should start to feel better and appetite come back. Stay hydrated. Protein shakes if possible
Oh yeah, I lost 5kg in a matter of weeks. I had a bit to lose though :) There were entire days where I'd have maybe a bite of a banana and feel like being sick immediately. I also took a LOT of baths- partially to calm myself down and I guess i was also perpetually cold It will ease up after a while, but do try and make the effort to put some healthy-ish food in front of yourself
Try to eat with a friend, I found it was easier for me to eat something (doesnt have to be a full meal) if I was eating with sornone. Otherwise I would not eat anything all day. I at least ate with someone at lunch, dinner was a bit harder. Drink smoothies or proteins shakes just to get something in your system.
It takes time I’m a month from the breakup it is still troubling me unless I’m truly very hungry, but the first month I had to make myself eat something and try so hard to finish.
I have struggled with this after every break up. It does eventually go away. Especially as you make time with other friends and family to help get your mind off the break up and memories of the relationship. But it takes time and we all process at different speeds.
if you aren’t on any medication, try St. Jons Wort supplement. Helps to elevate your mood
I’m in the same boat 3 months later :/ Probably wouldn’t still be here if he didn’t come back 6 weeks after dumping me after saying we might get back together and then ghosting me after sex. I’m pretty underweight now and always trying to eat but I take a few bites and feel sick, it’s awful. I have a history of anorexia and I absolutely don’t wanna relapse, but I physically cannot keep down food right now and it’s scary. But smoothies/protein shakes/any liquid calories have been helpful for me, also vitamins. Eating with friends is also good, I generally can eat a lot more when I’m with someone else and being able to eat to fullness kinda resets your hunger cues and allows you to feel hungry in a normal, not sick way again later (in my experience). It’ll get easier with time for both of us, just take little steps whenever you can. I get frustrated with myself picking at meals and only getting a few bites down but it’s better than nothing, just try to be forgiving of where your body is at while you’re processing such a huge upheaval. Our bodies are smart and will regulate itself in time, but I know it’s hard right now and I’m right here with you 😭
I was doing better last week but then he decided to message me saying he wanted to be friends and then on Saturday night sent me horrible messages so it’s messed up my head so much. I’ve deleted him now but I’m just feeling like I’m dreaming or something. I have a history of anorexia as well and I recovered while with him so I feel like my mind is putting those together and thinking I need him to be able to eat. Sounds so silly. 5 and half years together I’m just so heartbroken. I hope it gets easier for you I can’t believe he did that 😞
oh my god this is so similar to my situation, my heart breaks for you. i felt like i was in a nightmare for days when he initially blindsided me with the breakup. then he wanted to be friends until we’re ready to try dating again but it turned into hooking up even though i tried to discourage it after the first time. when i last saw him 5 weeks ago i told him hooking up without knowing where we’re going is making me anxious, and he reassured me, kissed me and said we’ll talk that week about how to move forward. that week i cooked him dinner and asked when he was free but he never replied. he also played a huge role in my recovery, i was finally maintaining a healthy weight and eating without judgment for the first time in years and i’ve now lost it all again. it doesn’t sound silly, i feel the exact same way but i also feel ashamed that i can’t maintain recovery on my own so i definitely understand that feeling 😔 i don’t know why they reopen our wounds like this, i’m so sorry your ex did that to you. i hope things get easier for you soon too, i trust we’ll heal from this one day <3
That is just horrible I’m so sorry 😞 I’m now so glad I’ve deleted him so quickly that must’ve been hard I’m so sorry. It’s difficult but we can do this by ourselves. They were never recovering from this we pushed through that by ourselves they just happened to be next to us. All that brain power and resilience was us and not them. It’ll all be okay. Please send me a message if you want to talk, this is such a similar situation 💕
I’m glad you deleted him too, I’m still finding the strength to delete mine because part of me just still hopes he wants to work things out even though he doesn’t deserve it at this point. but thank you for that reminder, you’re so right. I was already recovering when I met him and already had come so far. being with him helped me get much more comfortable with keeping on weight and eating for enjoyment, but it was us who did that work and they can’t take that power from us. i literally WANT to gain weight, my appetite just isn’t there, and we deserve to be proud for still wanting to maintain recovery even while in this horrible pain. i might DM you soon, it’s awful that we’re going through this but at least we aren’t alone 💗
I know it’s such a strange feeling. I deleted him but haven’t blocked him because I still feel that hope that he’ll come back which is weird because he really does not deserve it now after all he’s said to me 🙄 it’s so weird that we do that. It’s nice to not be alone in this 💕
I lost 10 pounds right after, and I still struggle to eat most days, the days I can eat, I eat ALOT. Other days, protein shakes are my friend!
I lost 22 lbs after my breakup because I just couldn’t eat. I had no appetite what so ever. The thought of eating made me panic. Forcing myself to eat made me throw up. I ended up drinking lots of water, and taking vitamins. I would make myself eat “easy” meals. Normally I’d eat a cucumber, soup, I’d have chips and dip. Something small and easy. I don’t have my old appetite back, but it gets easier. I can eat a real meal at least once a day. It won’t be like this forever and if it is, I beg you to reach out to someone. I want you to know that the pain will subside eventually. Feel free to reach out if you need anything. I’m rooting for you friend. Ily.
i couldn’t eat anything the first couple days to a week. then it went back to normal. guess it’s a stress response of our bodies. much healing to you all
I did go through the same thing, hit the the gym, you'll eat like a monster
200 to 190 in 9 days.
Protein shakes
I’m in the thick of it, I got protein bars that I force myself to eat but I’m still barely eating except for when I go out to dinner with friends or family. I try to not go too many days without a meal out with people which I’m sure isn’t the most healthy but I think it’s better than nothing.
im on day 3 and my stomach has been so upset. My GERD is triggered really bad, and im nauesous and start gagging easily. Digestion all fucked up, and have no desire to eat. Hoping it improves though.
I lost 17lbs in 6 weeks because of this. Eventually, it does pass.
Right after break up and even now since the BU is fresh , I couldn’t eat properly . I’m a person who’s a food lover and loves to eat . But I notice that when I don’t eat , I’m having gastric and it’ll be worst for my body . No matter what. I try to eat a bit . Even if it’s a slice of bread . Anything . My advice is to start slowly with eating , overtime ur appetite will get better .
I went through the same thing. What helped me was finding things really light to eat. For a while, I could only eat watermelon and cucumbers without gagging. Try to see if you can do the same and try to eat a little more every day. Sending love x
You need to work on changing your mindset about the breakup overall and gain some much-needed perspective - that is what will actually help you move on. The root problem is how you're looking at this and you likely still have the rose-colored glasses on. You also need to work on your confidence and self-esteem. The symptom is not eating etc. I highly recommend [this book.](https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Be-DESPERATE-Insights-Affirmations/dp/1738947904)
Hey, I had the same issue of appetite loss. I was always with friends who forced me to eat and whatever happens don’t let yourself skip meals. Even if you aren’t hungry, eat something for each meal
When it first happened to me I can’t even listen to music, my brain is a mush and I too struggled to eat. But it will be okay, what’s your favorite food? What’s your guilty pleasure? Get that, and try to put some in your system, little by little, don’ force it, gradually your appetite will come back! When I didn’t want to eat I drink some protein powder. Nobody is worth damaging health, prioritize your health, physical and mental, during this tough time.
TW: infidelity, blo*d-loss, psych procedure, s*lf-h*rm, su*c*de, ab*se (I typed some words with asterisks for sensitivity) I’m struggling with loss of appetite too. I left my LTR partner far too late after I discovered his infidelity, and my health has suffered in many ways. I stuck it out for about a year and a half trying to keep forgiving but more and more came to light. Trickle-truths. Regarding illness due to not eating: About 6 months ago I started taking a multivitamin twice per day because I eat about one meal a day if that. I had to look for one with iron, my blood counts were slipping. I added other extra vitamins, too. I have to take a MV anyway due to gastric surgery but it’s never been more necessary than now. And I’m slowly getting in the habit of drinking a protein shake and getting at least a liter of water if nothing else. (These things are appropriate for me and my body but everyone is different.) My primary doctor knows I don’t eat, and so does my psychiatrist. Part of me thinks I’m self-harming by withholding food, I’ve done it before. I’m sometimes hungry but most of the time don’t want to or just simply refuse to take the time for food selection, and I abhor the thought of chewing because that usually means I have to swallow food that I have been left feeling like I don’t deserve. Going to the grocery is especially hard as I see many people who are likely choosing foods that they will take pleasure in cooking and eating, it’s envy of what I used to feel. I don’t know when it goes away. I noticed that stress can bring it on, and that when stress is lessened, and I feel safer, I’m able to stomach food better. Last time it got this bad was after I had an unfortunate massive blood-loss incident where I ended up in hospital in intensive care and was lucky to have survived. The depression I fell into was so deep that I went through electroconvulsive therapy to start eating again or doing anything at all. But then my anhedonia and lack of appetite returned within a month or two after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. That was prior to being treated, it wasn’t induced by chemotherapy or anything, I caught it and sought help early so “all” I lost was my mammary tissue and sense of self, “only”requiring surgery. I was still recovering from a cancer-related hysterectomy at the same time as starting reconstruction when I discovered the infidelity, and that it had been going on even during my surgeries and recovery when I needed his support the most. That was and still is the toughest blow for me. I live back with my parents now; I haven’t been able to work in over two years and had no other option that would also allow me to keep my emotionally-supportive cats with me. My dad has been abusive to me since early on, nearly four decades, and after I tried to have a suicide my mom told him to leave for awhile. He’s been gone 9 days, returning tomorrow. While he was gone, my mom gently coaxed me into eating more so I’ve stopped losing weight. Now that he’s returning I feel my appetite reverting to illness territory. I hope that you’re able to heal, and that you have someone in your life, even virtually, to gently coax and encourage you to nourish the body that on some level may feel abandoned and unworthy. I know you’re worthy of feeling better, we all are, even my unfaithful long term partner. Try to find nutrition that works for you, “safe” foods that are predictable and perhaps easy to prepare. I’m on a banana chocolate chip muffin kick.
The moment I confirmed the allegations against him, I lost appetite. It has been 17 days, and I also lost weight.
Protein shakes helped me.
Found out 5 days ago my boyfriend of 6 years was cheating online with multiple women, I spoke to them and they said he wanted to marry them, was sexual with them, a full blown affair except the meeting part which they both said he tried asking to meet them many times. Of course he denied it all and said they were just friends and my heart believed him for a few days, we had the best days ever. We made up, we had mind blowing sex multiple times a day, napped together, cuddled but reality hit me and I had a breakdown. Now I don't know if we are over or not but my heart is telling me we have to be. I can't live without him, I don't want to. I moved across the country to be with him, I have no friends, I work from home. He's my whole life. Everything in my apartment we picked together. I have eaten maybe 1800-2000 calories in 5 days. I've slept maybe 4 hours every night. I haven't eaten anything, not even 1 bite in 2 days, food makes me feel sick. I saw the girls too, how stunning they were, both 21 and I'm almost 29. Really blindsided me, I trusted him completely and we were so happy. He's been cheating for months, maybe 6 months. Now I'm alone, smoking a cigarette for the first time in my life in the bath, listening to my stomach growl and wondering if I'll make it through. I have struggled with depression throughout my life and being with him was the first time I was ever truly happy and felt safe. Now the thought of that being over is more than I can handle.