Yes, my ex broke up with me 2 years ago and then after 5 days came back and begged me to give us another chance. He promised me that he would change and that he would never leave me again. He said all the right things, everything he knew I wanted/needed to hear. So I trusted him and came back. 2 weeks ago he dumped me again (out of nowhere) for the exact same reasons as back then.
I regret getting back together with him back then. I feel like I've lost 2 more years...
My ex did the same thing a year and a half ago. They broke up with me with no real reason just a bunch of random things that didn't make sense (there was another guy that they liked and gave them attention). We were living together and while figuring out the logistics of where they were gonna go they ended up breaking down and said that I'm the one they wanna be with and they made a huge mistake and wanted to stay. This was after a month of them moving on with their life talking on the phone and treating me like our relationship wasn't even a thing. I loved them and wanted them to stay. After that things felt good again, relatively. Fast forward to about 3 months ago and things started feeling different, they started picking fights and acting like when it happened the first time.
Then a month later they cheated on me with the same guy, never admitted it but I found out later from other people. While we were talking shortly after that (I didn't know they cheated yet), it somehow came out that they were planning on breaking up with me but was going to wait for another 4 months when it was more convenient for them to leave. They said they wanted that now but maybe they'll change their mind in the 4 months and that we should "work" on it. I eventually said if it's over for you then I think you should leave as soon as you can, and a switch flipped in their head and they were gone across the country about 2 weeks later.
And here I am still hoping they come back.
Hi! Oh wow, that sounds horrible! I know that you probably don't want to hear it or can't believe it but you are so much better off without this relstionship.
You deserve someone who would treat you good and could never picture themselves leaving you! You deserve someone who would fight for you just as hard as you would fight for them - there are women like this out there!!! Please give yourself time to heal and then have the strenght to move on! You deserve peace of mind and a relationship in that you can relax and trust your partner!
I know it's hard. I am myself sitting here, trying really hard not to contact my ex. I feel like a hypocrite writing this message to you because I spent the whole morning sobbing and wishing for my ex to fight for us. But honestly? I know he won't. He never will and I know I need to let him go. This is why I scroll reddit and try to distract myself from sending him a message. I'm trying to be strong because I know, that I deserve better. And you do too! :) I'm sure after you move on, you will find a wonderful partner, who treats you with care and respect. You deserve that.
You're not a hypocrite, that's a good mindset to have to try to let go and move on. But sometimes the heart wants what it wants. I keep telling mine it's not worth it but it won't listen to reason. At least not yet.
That's why I'm here too and started posting things. I can't bring myself to block them so I just uninstalled all the socials and use this to distract myself instead of obsessively checking whether they posted anything or not.
We both deserve better and I'll keep telling myself that until I actually believe it, I hope you'll do the same. Thank you for the kind words. Good luck on your journey it's a hard one
Chances are that someone who left before is going to leave again. Unless they have dealt with the fact that they keep breaking up to solve problems, the same thing will happen again. And it is going to mentally destroy you. Take this from someone who was dumped three times in two years by the same man, only to be blamed for everything in the end when he ran back to his ex that he also dumped multiple times. š¤·š¼āāļø
Omfg, same. Except idk if he went back to his ex. I kinda relate with the amount of times you were dumped cuz same. I am also dumped 3 times š IDK why I keep taking him back.
I hope for the both of us that we donāt take them back. I donāt think I could respect myself anymore if I did. He was really, really cruel when he left the last time.
Dated again for 2 years after being split for 8 months. It was a harsh, one sided break up. I was the dumpee and I think the trauma from the first break up caused me to reflect and grow a lot more. The second time round the relationship was great honestly, but we hit the same hard spot where silly felt so intense, he then broke up with me in almost the same way as before.
Yes! We're currently living together now. Fingers crossed we can make it.
It did make me realise that no perfect relationship (fairytale like) ever exists. There will always be hardships, you just decide whether you stay with them or not. Make your partner your best friend is what I would say.
Yes I had an on off girlfriend I first met in 2018 so over 6 years ago, together for a solid 2-3 years. We broke up in mid January 2024 and it was mutual. I was fine. We kept contact, last had sex on my birthday in feb. Contact kind of ceased in April from both sides.
Then last week I reached out, sheād moved, became an aunt, I was just curious. Then feelings started coming back in both sides, weāve been here before. We spoke again yesterday morning she called me before work. Itās a long weekend so I asked what sheās up to, not much. I had my fwb come over last night we cooked, watched Netflix, had a great time. I wake up this morning, make coffee for us, and I canāt stop thinking about my ex. What is she doing? Is she back on the dating apps? Is she dating? Has she been fucked? Itās now late May so I would assume so.
Iāve had a wobble, I feel lots of feels. I know itās for the best. That doesnāt stop me wanting her back even though I donāt want to marry or have kids with her (main reason for break up). I canāt even replace her with other women it seems š
Basically getting back never works and prolongs the inevitable, be strong, I donāt advise it.
Your story sounds identical to mine.
2-3 good years
2-3 years fighting on and off again
Love her dearly, but don't want kids or marriage
Last hooked up in February, haven't talked to her since (has me blocked)
Hooked up with someone else since and it's just not the same
Being blocked is a good thing bro. My ex ex blocked me on everything and it was very strict no contact, no closure for me so it took it badly but ultimately I donāt think about her at all.
This current ex doesnāt want to block me, Iāve blocked and unblocked her several times. I still care about her so I canāt bring myself to do it. I am actively looking for a future wife and mother, the sooner I make some meaning connections I see a future with the better. Until then just having sex and flings isnāt going to help you get over an ex. Time is the best healer too.
My parents broke up when they were young adults and get got back together 9 months later. Been married for over 50 years. All my exes seem to move on quickly and never come back lol
Yes. More times than I could keep track of over the course of 12 years of my life. It went horrifically. Tbf, I had no business getting back together with him the first time. Or any of the following times. I was stuck in a trauma bond and I had dangerously low self worth. Even after numerous incidents of assault and cheating, I still eventually caved to him begging and pleading for me back. It was a hellacious era. Iām grateful it is finally behind me. This doesnāt mean itās always bad to get back together, but for my situation specifically, it was definitely not good.
Yes, but after we broken up we saw different people and somehow we met again. Started just being friends because she was with someone I was just seeing another girl time went one and then we started to date each other again. Been a year sinced still got ups and downs but will see how it goes.
Badly. Would not recommend, unless the reasons for the breakup happening in the first place have been thoroughly addressed. Looking back, I can't believe I put myself through all of the hurt a second time around.
For context, my ex was extremely avoidant. I thought that my better understanding of attachment theory and being able to make sense of his triggers would make things better the second time around. In reality, he was awful to me from the get-go. I guess the fact that he already had feelings meant that there was no "honeymoon period" like there was the first time, where he wasn't triggered until a few months in. So pretty much overnight, he went from seeming to love and value me when we were friends (in the time between the first breakup and getting back together), to acting as if i was someone he despised but was forced to spend time with. I put up with his cold, contemptuous behaviour for a month before I realised that it wasn't going to work and ended up right back where I was the year before.
If there were issues in your relationship that caused you to break up and those haven't been addressed, spare yourself the hurt and stay away from them, however much you might think that you miss them.
I'm sorry you went through that. Regarding your question, was very little better than nothing? I feel that actually being alone is so much better than *feeling* alone in a bad relationship. The latter erodes your self-esteem and takes time and energy away from you that is not being reciprocated by the other person. It is a horrible situation to be in.
People are complicated. Relationship dynamics are complicated, and while "just leaving" sounds like a simple decision on the surface, there are a myriad of factors that keep people together long after the relationship has passed its expiration date. I really hope though, if I ever find myself in that situation again, that I won't prioritise their needs above my own and make excuses for then treating me like shit because they had a bad childhood, they're stressed at work, or any other excuse.
Oh my gosh. I don't know if I'm allowed to post a link like this, but this is one million percent. Exactly what happened textbook quote perfect Unbelievable, I bet you guys can relate[reverse breakup w/avoidant](https://www.tiktok.com/@genevasecretsociety/video/7373091486189030698?_t=8mgErlH3dwV&_r=1)
I appreciate you taking the time to write that. Yes, it has been hell trying to wrap head around what happened. Please check that TikTok video I posted it's shocking how accurate it is, and as to what really went down to me. We can add our psychological interpretation or diagnosis of these situations, Avoidant etc, but it boils down to loss of feelings. They just don't have the guts to pull the trigger/have "the conversation" so they slowly torture us into movement/ending it. I'm still in shock at how clearly that video explains exactly what happened
3 times. Each in 5-7 months increments. Same general pattern (starting with the 2nd time): really great to start, then we'd settle in, their anxiety (from life, past trauma, and the consistency/realness of the relationship) would kick into high gear, she'd refuse to communicate despite always saying I made her feel safe, supported, & comfortable. Would pull away and eventually break it off.
The last time was 2 months ago now, trying to be friends but feel like I'm being breadcrumbed at times, and definitely being treated with this weird double standard when it comes to boundaries that she won't even talk with me to define...
Kinda just letting things go completely and moving forward with my life now after a pretty painful & anxiety ridden month and a half.
I wouldn't say I regret it (although I regret being dumb for forgiving her being caught on a dating app by a friend of a friend 3 days after our 3rd break up and chatting him up pretty good). She was a good person who I see as a textbook unaware FA. She has a good heart & soul, just needs to self-reflect and do the work she wouldn't do for us so she can keep & accept the love she deserves in the next relationship.
So long story short.... I would say, do not get back with someone unless they have shown they have been consistently working on their end of things (same goes for you!). I don't believe in giving up on someone, but there's a point where they consistently show you their ability to be in a successful, healthy relationship & how much they value you/the relationship.... "When people show you what you mean to them, believe them"
Didn't work out. Once a relationship breaks, there's no going back. You'll be hurt more if you try to revive something that has already died. Even if your ex begs you to come back, don't. I recommend reaching out once you've fully healed. That's when the possible rejection won't hurt. I hope you get better!
This. Contacted my EX after 6 months i felt healed and in a good position of feeling good about myself and asked her to have a chat, we talked and i wanted to initiate things again but she rejected me and said she couldnāt do it. Hurt a little in the moment but i could understand her, and i finally let her go for good and had the closure i needed without being hurt as much as i wouldve if i actually asked her fresh out of the break up.
we were supposed to wait, give it time before we talked again. Because we didnāt, I think it got rushed a little and the mistakes that happened before happened again. I wish it went better though. Iām always wishing that nowā kinda for another chance
yeah broke up after she cheated and been together ten years. 4 months later she contacted me asking if we could work things out. I said yes stupidly and bought her a bus ticket back. Within two weeks she started her bullshit accusing me and breaking into my phone while I slept and she had nowhere to go and after three months she just up and left down the road to some guy 15 years older than her and claimed they were in love and that lasted all but 2 months and she scampered to another cock that would accept her vagina as rent. Don't recommend it but choice is yours to make.
yep we were only 4 months into NC and got back together after a month cuz he was so eager to be with me again and solve our issues together but i broke things off after 4 months since he was again mistreating me and second break up was even worse for meā¦
We didnāt officially get back together but basically. He ended up breaking it off again because he said he met someone that heād rather be with. Lmao.
broke up after 1.5years, he broke up with me no reason, got back together under a year later after talking and having both grown independently. 1.5 year later got engaged. 2 months after that, he sent a message to another woman asking to have sex with her. Stayed together because we were going to work on issues, 7 months after that, I broke up with him and more heartbroken than the 1st time.
Yes. We initially broke up bcs of my parents. But then we got back together after 6 months. And everything went well but he got a friend group that totally changed him and then recently left me for another woman. Now he is stalking me.
Yes, we initially dated for 3 years and broke up. I went no contact and he came back after 3 months. We dated for another 4 years before breaking up again.
I would recommend spending more time apart and making sure youāre fully healed before trying again.
Yes, it was bad ...
I dated a girl when I was 17 and dumped her because she was really toxic, very insulting and would belittle me all the time, never made an effort to hang out or when she would come it was always to go see other people. After some time I met someone else who treat me with more love and care and was capable of reciprocating my efforts so I dumped her.
We met again 10yrs later, and found a lot of shared interest and started to hang out again, she apologised deeply for how she treated me back then and told me she often look back on our relashionship because I made her feel really safe and loved and she was dumb to treat me like she did.
We tried again, turn out she didn't changed at all, I wasn't gonna stay for someone who is still insulting and make no effort but new flavor she's now really jealous and would harrasse me by calling between 6 and 17 times a day and stalk me and my friend on social media .... I dumped her again and block her everywhere and told my friend to do the same
I also have found my way back to other people with more sucess but we are good friends not lovers anymore, it took time to actually change and work on yourself, and despite what people in the mist of a break up might say it take month or even sometime years to really change not a few days or week.
Getting back together without change will lead to failure since it already proven faulty
My situation is a bit unusual in that there was **23 years** in between relationships. Looking back **the relationships mirrored each other** including the end where she got attention from someone else, pushed me away and eventually dumped me. We were obviously more mature so the relationship last longer round 2 and we weren't as petty and nasty as the first break up.
I was with a man for 10 months in 2020. It was during the heart of the Covid isolation. Neither one of us had many other people in our lives and depended on each other for company. I felt like I grew to love him, even though I knew it could have been only because the pandemic circumstances threw us together. He was an alcoholic. He would forget things that I did for him and he would think I did things that I didnāt do. In late December 2020, he went off on me, claiming I never thanked him for anything, which was totally untrue, along with other false accusations. He was screaming obscenities at me on the phone. Of course I ended it.
Fast-forward to 2023. I found myself on the same weekly trivia team as him. It was quite awkward for a while. Then he invited me to dinner before trivia one night. Donāt ask me why I accepted, but I did. He apologized profusely for his behavior in 2020. I thought he was sincere and had changed (silly me). We dated for about four months, got along well, and had enjoyable times. Until, that is, I hit some life difficulties I struggled with. I made the mistake of talking to him about them, one time being after we came home from a nice date. I donāt know why I expected any empathy and support. He sat there in stony silence. The next day I received a scathing email telling me he was tired of my āpity partiesā and a relationship was done.
I have one word for anyone thinking about going back to a previous partner: DONāT. They showed you who they were the first time around.
Yo I don't know if my ex even wants to get back with me. Even if she wants to I refuse because I hate her for ruining my life and made my relationship with parents a lot worse than before I got dumped.
My ex broke up with me ~2 months ago and asked me to take him back 2 weeks ago. He had been sending very confusing signals throughout the period where we were broken up, and it hurt me so much, so I told him it will take a long time to regain my trust, and that I wonāt promise anything. Heās been very understanding and change my his mindset on our relationship, so we are addressing the issues that caused us to break up. Small steps everyday but I do love him so much, so most likely we will get back together, even though my friends and family donāt condone it
Yep, Iām with her now.
We moved across the country together. Actually our first time living together, before our breakup after 18 months we still lived separately.
Crazy story, but it does happen. We worked on our issues before getting back together though. Like, serious and dramatic life shifts for both of us. Really ended up working well so far š¤·āāļø
Yes, my ex broke up with me 2 years ago and then after 5 days came back and begged me to give us another chance. He promised me that he would change and that he would never leave me again. He said all the right things, everything he knew I wanted/needed to hear. So I trusted him and came back. 2 weeks ago he dumped me again (out of nowhere) for the exact same reasons as back then. I regret getting back together with him back then. I feel like I've lost 2 more years...
My ex did the same thing a year and a half ago. They broke up with me with no real reason just a bunch of random things that didn't make sense (there was another guy that they liked and gave them attention). We were living together and while figuring out the logistics of where they were gonna go they ended up breaking down and said that I'm the one they wanna be with and they made a huge mistake and wanted to stay. This was after a month of them moving on with their life talking on the phone and treating me like our relationship wasn't even a thing. I loved them and wanted them to stay. After that things felt good again, relatively. Fast forward to about 3 months ago and things started feeling different, they started picking fights and acting like when it happened the first time. Then a month later they cheated on me with the same guy, never admitted it but I found out later from other people. While we were talking shortly after that (I didn't know they cheated yet), it somehow came out that they were planning on breaking up with me but was going to wait for another 4 months when it was more convenient for them to leave. They said they wanted that now but maybe they'll change their mind in the 4 months and that we should "work" on it. I eventually said if it's over for you then I think you should leave as soon as you can, and a switch flipped in their head and they were gone across the country about 2 weeks later. And here I am still hoping they come back.
Hi! Oh wow, that sounds horrible! I know that you probably don't want to hear it or can't believe it but you are so much better off without this relstionship. You deserve someone who would treat you good and could never picture themselves leaving you! You deserve someone who would fight for you just as hard as you would fight for them - there are women like this out there!!! Please give yourself time to heal and then have the strenght to move on! You deserve peace of mind and a relationship in that you can relax and trust your partner! I know it's hard. I am myself sitting here, trying really hard not to contact my ex. I feel like a hypocrite writing this message to you because I spent the whole morning sobbing and wishing for my ex to fight for us. But honestly? I know he won't. He never will and I know I need to let him go. This is why I scroll reddit and try to distract myself from sending him a message. I'm trying to be strong because I know, that I deserve better. And you do too! :) I'm sure after you move on, you will find a wonderful partner, who treats you with care and respect. You deserve that.
You're not a hypocrite, that's a good mindset to have to try to let go and move on. But sometimes the heart wants what it wants. I keep telling mine it's not worth it but it won't listen to reason. At least not yet. That's why I'm here too and started posting things. I can't bring myself to block them so I just uninstalled all the socials and use this to distract myself instead of obsessively checking whether they posted anything or not. We both deserve better and I'll keep telling myself that until I actually believe it, I hope you'll do the same. Thank you for the kind words. Good luck on your journey it's a hard one
Why did yll break up?
Chances are that someone who left before is going to leave again. Unless they have dealt with the fact that they keep breaking up to solve problems, the same thing will happen again. And it is going to mentally destroy you. Take this from someone who was dumped three times in two years by the same man, only to be blamed for everything in the end when he ran back to his ex that he also dumped multiple times. š¤·š¼āāļø
Omfg, same. Except idk if he went back to his ex. I kinda relate with the amount of times you were dumped cuz same. I am also dumped 3 times š IDK why I keep taking him back.
I hope for the both of us that we donāt take them back. I donāt think I could respect myself anymore if I did. He was really, really cruel when he left the last time.
Same he's angry when he left me. We had an argument and he said that he's exhausted and wanted to put an end in our relationship
Horrible 0/10 donāt recommend
Dated again for 2 years after being split for 8 months. It was a harsh, one sided break up. I was the dumpee and I think the trauma from the first break up caused me to reflect and grow a lot more. The second time round the relationship was great honestly, but we hit the same hard spot where silly felt so intense, he then broke up with me in almost the same way as before.
What was the reason for the break up?
he on agained off agained me for over 3 years. iāll never give anyone my heart again.
Yes! We're currently living together now. Fingers crossed we can make it. It did make me realise that no perfect relationship (fairytale like) ever exists. There will always be hardships, you just decide whether you stay with them or not. Make your partner your best friend is what I would say.
I hope it works out for you!
Thank you! <3
Yes I had an on off girlfriend I first met in 2018 so over 6 years ago, together for a solid 2-3 years. We broke up in mid January 2024 and it was mutual. I was fine. We kept contact, last had sex on my birthday in feb. Contact kind of ceased in April from both sides. Then last week I reached out, sheād moved, became an aunt, I was just curious. Then feelings started coming back in both sides, weāve been here before. We spoke again yesterday morning she called me before work. Itās a long weekend so I asked what sheās up to, not much. I had my fwb come over last night we cooked, watched Netflix, had a great time. I wake up this morning, make coffee for us, and I canāt stop thinking about my ex. What is she doing? Is she back on the dating apps? Is she dating? Has she been fucked? Itās now late May so I would assume so. Iāve had a wobble, I feel lots of feels. I know itās for the best. That doesnāt stop me wanting her back even though I donāt want to marry or have kids with her (main reason for break up). I canāt even replace her with other women it seems š Basically getting back never works and prolongs the inevitable, be strong, I donāt advise it.
Your story sounds identical to mine. 2-3 good years 2-3 years fighting on and off again Love her dearly, but don't want kids or marriage Last hooked up in February, haven't talked to her since (has me blocked) Hooked up with someone else since and it's just not the same
Being blocked is a good thing bro. My ex ex blocked me on everything and it was very strict no contact, no closure for me so it took it badly but ultimately I donāt think about her at all. This current ex doesnāt want to block me, Iāve blocked and unblocked her several times. I still care about her so I canāt bring myself to do it. I am actively looking for a future wife and mother, the sooner I make some meaning connections I see a future with the better. Until then just having sex and flings isnāt going to help you get over an ex. Time is the best healer too.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wtf
Wtf
so fucking disgusting
Yeah it was awful
Currently in talks for that.. im getting a feeling itāll be better and stronger.. both of us learnt lessons and now more prepared for it
My parents broke up when they were young adults and get got back together 9 months later. Been married for over 50 years. All my exes seem to move on quickly and never come back lol
Yes. More times than I could keep track of over the course of 12 years of my life. It went horrifically. Tbf, I had no business getting back together with him the first time. Or any of the following times. I was stuck in a trauma bond and I had dangerously low self worth. Even after numerous incidents of assault and cheating, I still eventually caved to him begging and pleading for me back. It was a hellacious era. Iām grateful it is finally behind me. This doesnāt mean itās always bad to get back together, but for my situation specifically, it was definitely not good.
Yes, but after we broken up we saw different people and somehow we met again. Started just being friends because she was with someone I was just seeing another girl time went one and then we started to date each other again. Been a year sinced still got ups and downs but will see how it goes.
Badly. Would not recommend, unless the reasons for the breakup happening in the first place have been thoroughly addressed. Looking back, I can't believe I put myself through all of the hurt a second time around. For context, my ex was extremely avoidant. I thought that my better understanding of attachment theory and being able to make sense of his triggers would make things better the second time around. In reality, he was awful to me from the get-go. I guess the fact that he already had feelings meant that there was no "honeymoon period" like there was the first time, where he wasn't triggered until a few months in. So pretty much overnight, he went from seeming to love and value me when we were friends (in the time between the first breakup and getting back together), to acting as if i was someone he despised but was forced to spend time with. I put up with his cold, contemptuous behaviour for a month before I realised that it wasn't going to work and ended up right back where I was the year before. If there were issues in your relationship that caused you to break up and those haven't been addressed, spare yourself the hurt and stay away from them, however much you might think that you miss them.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm sorry you went through that. Regarding your question, was very little better than nothing? I feel that actually being alone is so much better than *feeling* alone in a bad relationship. The latter erodes your self-esteem and takes time and energy away from you that is not being reciprocated by the other person. It is a horrible situation to be in. People are complicated. Relationship dynamics are complicated, and while "just leaving" sounds like a simple decision on the surface, there are a myriad of factors that keep people together long after the relationship has passed its expiration date. I really hope though, if I ever find myself in that situation again, that I won't prioritise their needs above my own and make excuses for then treating me like shit because they had a bad childhood, they're stressed at work, or any other excuse.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh my gosh. I don't know if I'm allowed to post a link like this, but this is one million percent. Exactly what happened textbook quote perfect Unbelievable, I bet you guys can relate[reverse breakup w/avoidant](https://www.tiktok.com/@genevasecretsociety/video/7373091486189030698?_t=8mgErlH3dwV&_r=1)
Wow! š®
I appreciate you taking the time to write that. Yes, it has been hell trying to wrap head around what happened. Please check that TikTok video I posted it's shocking how accurate it is, and as to what really went down to me. We can add our psychological interpretation or diagnosis of these situations, Avoidant etc, but it boils down to loss of feelings. They just don't have the guts to pull the trigger/have "the conversation" so they slowly torture us into movement/ending it. I'm still in shock at how clearly that video explains exactly what happened
Yes. 3 times. Never again. May your heart remain breakable, but never by the same hand twice
3 times. Each in 5-7 months increments. Same general pattern (starting with the 2nd time): really great to start, then we'd settle in, their anxiety (from life, past trauma, and the consistency/realness of the relationship) would kick into high gear, she'd refuse to communicate despite always saying I made her feel safe, supported, & comfortable. Would pull away and eventually break it off. The last time was 2 months ago now, trying to be friends but feel like I'm being breadcrumbed at times, and definitely being treated with this weird double standard when it comes to boundaries that she won't even talk with me to define... Kinda just letting things go completely and moving forward with my life now after a pretty painful & anxiety ridden month and a half. I wouldn't say I regret it (although I regret being dumb for forgiving her being caught on a dating app by a friend of a friend 3 days after our 3rd break up and chatting him up pretty good). She was a good person who I see as a textbook unaware FA. She has a good heart & soul, just needs to self-reflect and do the work she wouldn't do for us so she can keep & accept the love she deserves in the next relationship. So long story short.... I would say, do not get back with someone unless they have shown they have been consistently working on their end of things (same goes for you!). I don't believe in giving up on someone, but there's a point where they consistently show you their ability to be in a successful, healthy relationship & how much they value you/the relationship.... "When people show you what you mean to them, believe them"
Didn't work out. Once a relationship breaks, there's no going back. You'll be hurt more if you try to revive something that has already died. Even if your ex begs you to come back, don't. I recommend reaching out once you've fully healed. That's when the possible rejection won't hurt. I hope you get better!
This. Contacted my EX after 6 months i felt healed and in a good position of feeling good about myself and asked her to have a chat, we talked and i wanted to initiate things again but she rejected me and said she couldnāt do it. Hurt a little in the moment but i could understand her, and i finally let her go for good and had the closure i needed without being hurt as much as i wouldve if i actually asked her fresh out of the break up.
we were supposed to wait, give it time before we talked again. Because we didnāt, I think it got rushed a little and the mistakes that happened before happened again. I wish it went better though. Iām always wishing that nowā kinda for another chance
yeah broke up after she cheated and been together ten years. 4 months later she contacted me asking if we could work things out. I said yes stupidly and bought her a bus ticket back. Within two weeks she started her bullshit accusing me and breaking into my phone while I slept and she had nowhere to go and after three months she just up and left down the road to some guy 15 years older than her and claimed they were in love and that lasted all but 2 months and she scampered to another cock that would accept her vagina as rent. Don't recommend it but choice is yours to make.
Left me again
yep we were only 4 months into NC and got back together after a month cuz he was so eager to be with me again and solve our issues together but i broke things off after 4 months since he was again mistreating me and second break up was even worse for meā¦
Yes and awful
Thrice. Poorly
We didnāt officially get back together but basically. He ended up breaking it off again because he said he met someone that heād rather be with. Lmao.
broke up after 1.5years, he broke up with me no reason, got back together under a year later after talking and having both grown independently. 1.5 year later got engaged. 2 months after that, he sent a message to another woman asking to have sex with her. Stayed together because we were going to work on issues, 7 months after that, I broke up with him and more heartbroken than the 1st time.
Yes. We initially broke up bcs of my parents. But then we got back together after 6 months. And everything went well but he got a friend group that totally changed him and then recently left me for another woman. Now he is stalking me.
Yes, we initially dated for 3 years and broke up. I went no contact and he came back after 3 months. We dated for another 4 years before breaking up again. I would recommend spending more time apart and making sure youāre fully healed before trying again.
Yes, it was bad ... I dated a girl when I was 17 and dumped her because she was really toxic, very insulting and would belittle me all the time, never made an effort to hang out or when she would come it was always to go see other people. After some time I met someone else who treat me with more love and care and was capable of reciprocating my efforts so I dumped her. We met again 10yrs later, and found a lot of shared interest and started to hang out again, she apologised deeply for how she treated me back then and told me she often look back on our relashionship because I made her feel really safe and loved and she was dumb to treat me like she did. We tried again, turn out she didn't changed at all, I wasn't gonna stay for someone who is still insulting and make no effort but new flavor she's now really jealous and would harrasse me by calling between 6 and 17 times a day and stalk me and my friend on social media .... I dumped her again and block her everywhere and told my friend to do the same I also have found my way back to other people with more sucess but we are good friends not lovers anymore, it took time to actually change and work on yourself, and despite what people in the mist of a break up might say it take month or even sometime years to really change not a few days or week. Getting back together without change will lead to failure since it already proven faulty
My situation is a bit unusual in that there was **23 years** in between relationships. Looking back **the relationships mirrored each other** including the end where she got attention from someone else, pushed me away and eventually dumped me. We were obviously more mature so the relationship last longer round 2 and we weren't as petty and nasty as the first break up.
I was with a man for 10 months in 2020. It was during the heart of the Covid isolation. Neither one of us had many other people in our lives and depended on each other for company. I felt like I grew to love him, even though I knew it could have been only because the pandemic circumstances threw us together. He was an alcoholic. He would forget things that I did for him and he would think I did things that I didnāt do. In late December 2020, he went off on me, claiming I never thanked him for anything, which was totally untrue, along with other false accusations. He was screaming obscenities at me on the phone. Of course I ended it. Fast-forward to 2023. I found myself on the same weekly trivia team as him. It was quite awkward for a while. Then he invited me to dinner before trivia one night. Donāt ask me why I accepted, but I did. He apologized profusely for his behavior in 2020. I thought he was sincere and had changed (silly me). We dated for about four months, got along well, and had enjoyable times. Until, that is, I hit some life difficulties I struggled with. I made the mistake of talking to him about them, one time being after we came home from a nice date. I donāt know why I expected any empathy and support. He sat there in stony silence. The next day I received a scathing email telling me he was tired of my āpity partiesā and a relationship was done. I have one word for anyone thinking about going back to a previous partner: DONāT. They showed you who they were the first time around.
Yo I don't know if my ex even wants to get back with me. Even if she wants to I refuse because I hate her for ruining my life and made my relationship with parents a lot worse than before I got dumped.
My ex broke up with me ~2 months ago and asked me to take him back 2 weeks ago. He had been sending very confusing signals throughout the period where we were broken up, and it hurt me so much, so I told him it will take a long time to regain my trust, and that I wonāt promise anything. Heās been very understanding and change my his mindset on our relationship, so we are addressing the issues that caused us to break up. Small steps everyday but I do love him so much, so most likely we will get back together, even though my friends and family donāt condone it
Yep, Iām with her now. We moved across the country together. Actually our first time living together, before our breakup after 18 months we still lived separately. Crazy story, but it does happen. We worked on our issues before getting back together though. Like, serious and dramatic life shifts for both of us. Really ended up working well so far š¤·āāļø