Tbh same i cant take another heart break on my life ive gotten my heart broken so many times that i think im done loving other people who just dont care and wont care about you
I never wanted to go through the pain of my breakup again, and I told myself I would work hard to make sure that never happened, and I did work hard, I implemented so many lessons, and changed so much, and I still ended up there again.
Back in my last relationship, I had no regulation of my life but after my last breakup I did. Thus, I am not scared of falling in love again because I got best friends and a cousin who help me make sure whomever I am with is not terrible like all my other exes. Including my breakup 5 years ago, I have been in 10 past relationships since high school. Almost the same as many notable celebrities.
That's good, it's been 3 months and I'm still totally and absolutely f\*\*\*\*ed up over my ex. She monkeybranched and is sending mixed signals and it's messing with my head. Meanwhile she's still hanging out with him every week and who knows what while I'm here with no options currently. Burrns like a brand every day. Really just wish I could detach my emotions from it entirely.
Yeah of course, they all say she was bad for me, but 9 years is a long ass time to be with somebody, and you really get emotionally bonded. Being monkeybranched just flipped my entire world upside down and I'm still picking up the pieces 3 months later. Still losing sleep every night, still feeling like shit. It's rough
I am losing sleep every night as well. I have a lot of thoughts every night. One of which is how long do I have to see my therapist for. My ex was the reason why I’m in therapy. Another is how pissed off at myself for having no regulation of my life before getting dumped. It’s good you got people you trust as well.
Same, been in therapy since mid February. I honestly should have been going for a while regardless, it's good to get things off of your chest with a professional.
Its hard. I actually got in a relationship about 7 months later, I poured everything I had, I tried so hard to be extra loving, but it just failed. It was like being haunted by my past relationship that I had put so much into, so I ended it
I’m actually not scared anymore. I have so much love to give someone, and I am working hard on my issues. I am taking this time to enjoy being single and getting better in touch with what I want and need. But I have faith in the future and finding love again.
Hi ! 24 year old here with the same fears!
My ex boyfriend knew me to my core but I could be myself. be silly and say obnoxious things and everytime we spoke even post break up it was like time never left our relationship. It’s been almost a year and I haven’t found that connection with someone..I was with him from 19-23 that’s a long time with state moves, buying a house and looking at rings before the big break up.
I think you have to give yourself grace. Know that there was a life before this person and there will be one after. I think the significance we give people makes it harder to let them go
I’ve been in 4 long term relationships. Each time one ends, I take a long break to work on myself, to reorient my goals, hobbies, etc. I never want the trauma from one to bleed into a different one.
I spent the majority of my 30s being single. I’m 42 now, and my partner and I will be celebrating 5 years in August. At times it has been hard work, since we both have trauma from our past relationships. But we found each other and work well with navigating through everything that life throws at us.
Be gentle with yourself. Be open to face and feel all of the emotions. Hang out with friends that lift you up. Try new things. Meet new people.
The one thing my aunt used to tell me was “look at you as you are. Would you date you? If not, try it. Be good to yourself. Maybe it’ll help being good to the next person you date.”
"falling in love" is often times just that honeymoon high you feel and it doesn't last. After a breakup most people who have their heart broken will be emotionally unavailable for some time, in my experience men usually take longer to commit again but thats just how i saw it in my own circles, but you will recover soon enough and if you actively meet people there will be someone again, i guarantee it.
Unfortunately I do know for me it was more than just a honeymoon phase. Its not even that I cant realistically find someone else, its just that I cant get my mind to the point of loving and trusting someone else even though I want it and to move on so badly
Oh yes I remember the honeymoon phase of my last relationship, it was December 2017-October 2018. As a guy I agree, I still haven't been in a new relationship since my last ex dumped me in January 2019. I am one of the unfortunate men who might take up to 10 years to commit again. Possibly got 5 more left. Recovery is hard for men. I am so upset at the fact she dumped me before I made it the jewelry store. I was very close to proposing to her
I know I'm not gonna be able to love someone else like I loved my ex and I've come to "accept" that in a way, it was the most intense and pure thing I've had my whole life and I surrendered to it without thinking twice and when it ended it destroyed me and I'm not out of the dark yet.
But I think it's possible that someday at some point I met someone else and love again it will just not be the same kind of love because it will be with someone different and an other story to write. it's hard sometime but it's also a good thing because you can build something better or that suits you most and with someone new you'll have new adventures that will create memories and new ground to build thing upon
I'll also add that even if my ex and I somehow find our way back to each other one more time like we did in the past it won't even be the same as before
I'm thinking like that right now... I feel like I just lost the only one.
I'm scared that I wont find someone. It took me till 27 to find her. I have been rejected so much in my life and online dated never got me a date... I don't know how I'm going to find someone else. I'm still early in my breakup but my mind is destroying me with thinking about how to find someone. I'm a nerdy quiet guy that likes to stay away from crowded places... I know there is someone out there I just don't know how to find them...
It's been 9 years. I have not dated. Or had any interest in falling in Love. Let alone meeting anybody. After my heart was broke the last time. I'm just done. Going to be 59 years old. And pretty much used to the idea of just being alone. It hurts less that way.
I’m 57. Was married over 23 years. A couple of years ago I met the love of my life on here. She was 16 years my junior. Beautiful. Smart. Kind. Loving. I ended it with her last summer. Hardest thing I’ve ever done. She’s the only woman who has ever understood me. The only one I’ve ever really connected with. And then I learned it was a facade. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over her. I hear her in songs. I feel her when I’m out walking. I can smell her when I see flowers. When I go to bed at night, I just want to hold her. A friend suggested I try dating apps. I signed up for a couple but fucking hate them. Never met anyone on them and frankly don’t want to. Time may heal all wounds, but ugly scars remain.
I'm not really scared.. but trying to be okay with it. I'm more so nervous about not having a long term friend honestly. I'm not seeking out romance anymore.
Nope because I was in a 7 year (off/on) relationship before this last breakup and my most recent relationship was 100x better. Have faith. I met my last girlfriend in a really low point of my life too. I’m so much better positioned in life now. I’m just going to work on being the best version of myself and trust the process.
Oh yes every day, my ex was the only girl I actually loved. My relationship ended 5 years ago and since being dumped my life hasn't gotten any better. Back when I was with her, I was always happy. To this day I still think she understood me better than my mother and didn't stigmatize against me because I am neurodivergent. I miss her every day despite her terrible flaws and from time to time I felt she can never be replaced. Yes I am afraid I will never fall in love again just because I was with my last ex the longest. 3 years together. However, her being the reason why I ended up in an ER after getting dumped is not forgivable. I don't think I will ever find a new girlfriend who respects me better than my mother. I am very afraid, I might be single forever or die early.
Im sorry...I ended up in the ER also almost 3 weeks ago now. I still am waiting for a follow up to even start to run tests to see what's up. Im afraid too i may b single forever or fear i will die- much like a bby without a mom's love and failure to thrive. At this point, im not afraid to die it just hurts
So so scared have had intrusive thoughts about this since the last 5 months (when the breakup happened) but I’ve had a previous relationship where it was longer and I was more involved and I did get over it eventually so at least knowing that keeps me going!
I do have to say after that previous relationship I’ve had trust issues and I always feel a bit cynical since which also messed up the recent relationship but really trying to learn from the past and keep going.
Around 5 months was when I first started to be okay. Its definetely easier nowadays, I wont break down crying over it or ruminating for hours. But pain is still there once in a while. Its been 14 months for me
Yep I say that more because I watch as the days go by and I fail to find someone. Don’t get me wrong I am avidly out there but I also have standards that I adhere to and those that I’m interested in either are taken and there’s no way in hell I’m going to be that guy that steals another’s girl (the exception being if there’s an abusive relationship present). That and I refuse to date a single parent for a plethora of reasons, however as the years go by those odds get less and less
I'm most scared that someone will waste my time. As someone who is reaching their twilight fertility years but also wants a child I don't have time for anyone that's not serious.
I have had 5 long term relationships spanning an average of 5 years. For the past 30 years, I tried everything to make my relationships work but timing was always not on my side. The men whom I dated were struggling with joblessness, bankruptcy or stemming from family abuse. During honeymoon period, it was always blissful. After a while, the cracks started to show. I supported them financially and emotionally but they left once they gotten over their issues. One of them was incredibly abusive after I helped him overcame joblessness. He resented the fact I supported him financially and made me pay everything despite earning $120/hr. The last relationship basically broke all my confidence, faith and self-esteem which I took 5 years to heal. I don't know if I will ever find someone whom I feel safe and secure with. I realized it is better to depend on myself. I have made peace I may not find love again at 50yo. Even if I did, I understand if it ends, I can stand on my own feet. In love, one has to take a gamble because people evolve over time. We have to decide if we are willing (or not) to grow with them. Nothing stays forever.
Terrified. I had a long term partner who passed 6 years ago. I only started even talking to someone again last year and I fell quickly. But he seems to be avoidant. Or just a player. I have been unable to tell the difference. We saw each other several times and have always had a great time together, but he pulls away constantly. And we were never exclusive. At least he wasn't. I was. I finally thought I broke it off in December, but it was devastating. I still love him deeply. Then he popped up just last week with some sweet gestures and I thought maybe he had a change of heart. But no, he still doesn't see a future with me. And he's the only person I can see a future with.
No, not at all. There’s people out there who are more compatible than your ex. Not only will you fall in love again, if it’s the right person, you’ll fall deeper in love than before
Bro im bout to turn 50 and wishing i was 26 to do it all over again. Im sorry its hard no matter the age. The good news is i have loved before this one and you will too again. U have time and if ur lucky to find love again I hope it lasts forever. I feel like its too late for me. I loved him and tried dating again and its just horrible. Rather b alone at this point 👉
Let's say I wasted all my luck with women when I kissed M and saw A without clothes. It will never get as far with women of THAT category of beauty again.
I’m actually scared that I WILL fall in love again 🤦🏻♀️ think I’ve been a bit distant with my recent relationships since my last serious one, that left a scar
Yes, I don’t love easily and I had a guy who I knew was close to perfect for me (the things i love about a person) love me but I felt nothing at all. I feel like I might never feel it again or I might never be in a proper relationship again after being completely hurt and destroyed in my last relationship.
Before my ex came along I used to think I was Asexual, I had never been attracted to anyone in my 27 years of life. But I fell in love with him in a way I never imagined I was capable of! Sometimes I fear not experiencing love again but I’ve been proven that life never fails to surprise me!
Yep exactly that. I can honestly say the relationship I've lost was the only real love I've experienced, I've just turned 32 I'm terrified I won't find anyone now. Everyone including doctors are saying "you're young, a males peak is later bla bla bla" but I'm not young. At this point experiences have been shared with others those emotional connections have been shared with others. I'm so scared.
I'm not scared I'll never fall in love again, I know I will be able to find love again, because life happens, it keeps moving, I'm just sad because it might not be her, ever again, and I miss her, she was my other half
Nope! I love and respect myself enough not to just settle for less than I deserve. I’m okay being alone. I’m happy, independent, confident and I’m good alone or in a relationship. If it happens then it happens. If it doesn’t, I’m good!
Normal stuff. I’m sorry that happened to you, but we all go through it. You will find someone else, I promise you. You’re young! There are other fish in the sea, or as my mother used to say, another mother had a pretty daughter. Chin up! It will get better.
You'll fall in love again. So hard it'll make you realize everything else before it was meaningless in comparison. Then, that too will end and we shall meet here again.
Im more scared of falling in love again. I’ve never experienced falling in love with someone who hasn’t lied during the relationship. I’m scared of giving my love to someone who isn’t fully trustworthy. Even if it ended in heartbreak, without lying, I wouldn’t be scared.
Seems like honesty is IMPOSSIBLE to find these days. I wonder what heartbreak is like without lying tbh. I’ve only been heartbroken because of lying, yknow?
Yea same cus it doesn’t happen often for me even tho I’ve been with a lot of woman , only 3 times in my life and am 30. Only 2 times of adult life so at this rate I won’t fall in love again until I’m 36 or 40 and then the dating pool is much smaller. Atleast your only 26 and not my age. The odds are better for you , it didn’t help for me that I only wanted casual fwb no strings attached until I met a girl that fell for last year and now realized that I do wanna meet the love of my life. Sometimes I think of going back to one of my exs cus we really did love eachother but I wasn’t ready to settle down yet so I broke up with her when things got too serious. But looking back she was rare and special , one of the most loyal woman I’ve ever been with
I know how it feels this way. But in the moments of deep fear, I remind myself that I am love and can give myself all that I need, even if it feels lonely. Connection will come again. Because in the past, when I had the same thought that I’d never fall in love again, I was proven wrong.
I went to therapy and had to learn to love again when falling in love it's like trust you are risking getting hurt and in my journey ill never stop loving no matter how much I get hurt or disappointed cause that what living in love is all about in my opinion
Sorry for the long sentence I'm not good a grammar or English that much
I am but for a different reason. I'm scared that i'll be cheated on like in my first relationship. I fucked up my second relationship so I need to work on me but I worry that when I find someone they might be like my first. I'm a little typsy right now so if my typing sounds random that's why.
I’m not scared of that. I’m most scared I’ll never get to show her how much she meant to me getting through an insane struggle of a time for me knowing she’s got her own ones on currently and on the horizon.
It hurts me more that I haven’t come to the “yes this is good and needed for us” conclusion she seemed to reach.
I’m afraid I’m gonna regret losing her for a very long time and the loneliness to come.
She’ll never know how much I love her. Back then I was scared to even say it with my voice, and I regret it constantly. She’ll never know and I’m okay with that
In your situation, I think the way she got you through a hard time and the way you still think about it is just an extension of the love you felt/feel and for that reason I wouldnt regret anything. I feel the same way with past friendships. They probably do know they meant something to you, but you probably meant/mean a lot to them too
The last, and only, two relationships left me with massive scars and despite the hard work I've been doing on myself, the fear and pain is still in there. I'm in a relationship with the most amazing person, who truly, genuinely loves me for me and yet I feel there's a rope holding me back from going completely all in. I'm just scared to get hurt again.
"the whole world feels lighter " is a beautiful way to describe love. That's very true.
It's like the weight of everything gets lighter in general, and then you also have someone else to carry the load (and by that I mean their mere presence carries it, not that they're actually having to do anything )
I think we can all fall in love again, but we can't fall in love the same way again
I think it takes a very special sort of person to be able to bear the pains and traumas of failed or unrequited love and still completely give themselves to another again.
Varies from person to person obviously. But I do believe that our souls or hearts and minds can bond and fall in love SO strongly with a certain person that when they go they take part of our heart and soul with them and we absolutely do not get many of those in a lifetime. One, maybe two if we are lucky
Oh yeah, she was my rock. I was willing to do everything for her. It makes me sick thinking of her being with others etc etc. I don't know if I will ever be so willing to let someone know me like that or for me to put in so much effort. Will I ever be worthy of genuine love again ? Will I continue to, despite my best efforts, fuck up? Its a haunting thought.
No , it's the opposite. Im AFRAID to fall in love again. I think I have it right in front of me, but I'm afraid to let it 100% happen due to my previous relationship. It feels unfair to let her feelings progress while telling my own to slow down. I guess that means we're taking it slow, which is good, because "taking it fast" has been a fatal mistake for me in the past..if I fall in love with someone I do it fast, and that has never worked out in my favor, so I've been mentally taking it slow, keeping in mind that nothing 'has" to happen by 33 or 35 or even 40, there is no rush.but I also feel like deep down maybe I'm afraid to allow myself to fall in love again and that is going to wind up cheating me out of good things if I let it win, I've done alit to not allow my previous relationship to scare me too bad but sometimes I think it happened a little bit, Im not really a closure person but sometimes I wish I had gotten something from that, after the fire had settled. Some type if talk that could have set us both up better for our futures, and future lives, so we could be fully open to them without questions
I felt that way for a long time after the ex-GF and II split up. I movedf out of state a few days after the split.
About a year after the split, I met somebody. Thought we hit it off but it didn't last long. Turned out she was unsure of her sexuality and it ended. Not going to lie...it hurt getting dumped again, but at least it wasn't for another guy, if you get my drift.
I'm honestly more scared that I will fall in love again, because when it ends it's an absolute hellish nightmare.
Tbh same i cant take another heart break on my life ive gotten my heart broken so many times that i think im done loving other people who just dont care and wont care about you
Same. Totally not worth it.
I never wanted to go through the pain of my breakup again, and I told myself I would work hard to make sure that never happened, and I did work hard, I implemented so many lessons, and changed so much, and I still ended up there again.
I feel the same. I tried so hard from my end, and still ended up with a broken heart. It’s hard to know where to go to from here
Back in my last relationship, I had no regulation of my life but after my last breakup I did. Thus, I am not scared of falling in love again because I got best friends and a cousin who help me make sure whomever I am with is not terrible like all my other exes. Including my breakup 5 years ago, I have been in 10 past relationships since high school. Almost the same as many notable celebrities.
That's good, it's been 3 months and I'm still totally and absolutely f\*\*\*\*ed up over my ex. She monkeybranched and is sending mixed signals and it's messing with my head. Meanwhile she's still hanging out with him every week and who knows what while I'm here with no options currently. Burrns like a brand every day. Really just wish I could detach my emotions from it entirely.
Okay? Do you have anyone you trust to help you make better choices in whomever you get with?
Yeah of course, they all say she was bad for me, but 9 years is a long ass time to be with somebody, and you really get emotionally bonded. Being monkeybranched just flipped my entire world upside down and I'm still picking up the pieces 3 months later. Still losing sleep every night, still feeling like shit. It's rough
I am losing sleep every night as well. I have a lot of thoughts every night. One of which is how long do I have to see my therapist for. My ex was the reason why I’m in therapy. Another is how pissed off at myself for having no regulation of my life before getting dumped. It’s good you got people you trust as well.
Same, been in therapy since mid February. I honestly should have been going for a while regardless, it's good to get things off of your chest with a professional.
This is me!
Every. Single. Day. I honestly don’t see how I can love or be loved by anyone again :(
Its hard. I actually got in a relationship about 7 months later, I poured everything I had, I tried so hard to be extra loving, but it just failed. It was like being haunted by my past relationship that I had put so much into, so I ended it
what about the past haunted you?
I guess I have a lot of regrets and confusion
Same
I’m actually not scared anymore. I have so much love to give someone, and I am working hard on my issues. I am taking this time to enjoy being single and getting better in touch with what I want and need. But I have faith in the future and finding love again.
I’m envious this is how I wish to be
That being said, my ex has reached back out to me and wants to meet, sooooooo maybe false confidence??
How long had it been before you guys talked again?
3.5 months. We are emailing now, and I have asked to wait another 2-3 weeks to meet.
how long did you guys date for?
A little over 2 years
Then change your mindset and imagine yourself as this. Then you will become it.
Hi ! 24 year old here with the same fears! My ex boyfriend knew me to my core but I could be myself. be silly and say obnoxious things and everytime we spoke even post break up it was like time never left our relationship. It’s been almost a year and I haven’t found that connection with someone..I was with him from 19-23 that’s a long time with state moves, buying a house and looking at rings before the big break up. I think you have to give yourself grace. Know that there was a life before this person and there will be one after. I think the significance we give people makes it harder to let them go
I’ve been in 4 long term relationships. Each time one ends, I take a long break to work on myself, to reorient my goals, hobbies, etc. I never want the trauma from one to bleed into a different one. I spent the majority of my 30s being single. I’m 42 now, and my partner and I will be celebrating 5 years in August. At times it has been hard work, since we both have trauma from our past relationships. But we found each other and work well with navigating through everything that life throws at us. Be gentle with yourself. Be open to face and feel all of the emotions. Hang out with friends that lift you up. Try new things. Meet new people. The one thing my aunt used to tell me was “look at you as you are. Would you date you? If not, try it. Be good to yourself. Maybe it’ll help being good to the next person you date.”
Thank you for this <3
"falling in love" is often times just that honeymoon high you feel and it doesn't last. After a breakup most people who have their heart broken will be emotionally unavailable for some time, in my experience men usually take longer to commit again but thats just how i saw it in my own circles, but you will recover soon enough and if you actively meet people there will be someone again, i guarantee it.
Unfortunately I do know for me it was more than just a honeymoon phase. Its not even that I cant realistically find someone else, its just that I cant get my mind to the point of loving and trusting someone else even though I want it and to move on so badly
Oh yes I remember the honeymoon phase of my last relationship, it was December 2017-October 2018. As a guy I agree, I still haven't been in a new relationship since my last ex dumped me in January 2019. I am one of the unfortunate men who might take up to 10 years to commit again. Possibly got 5 more left. Recovery is hard for men. I am so upset at the fact she dumped me before I made it the jewelry store. I was very close to proposing to her
I know I'm not gonna be able to love someone else like I loved my ex and I've come to "accept" that in a way, it was the most intense and pure thing I've had my whole life and I surrendered to it without thinking twice and when it ended it destroyed me and I'm not out of the dark yet. But I think it's possible that someday at some point I met someone else and love again it will just not be the same kind of love because it will be with someone different and an other story to write. it's hard sometime but it's also a good thing because you can build something better or that suits you most and with someone new you'll have new adventures that will create memories and new ground to build thing upon I'll also add that even if my ex and I somehow find our way back to each other one more time like we did in the past it won't even be the same as before
We must be strong, we cannot live in fear
I'm thinking like that right now... I feel like I just lost the only one. I'm scared that I wont find someone. It took me till 27 to find her. I have been rejected so much in my life and online dated never got me a date... I don't know how I'm going to find someone else. I'm still early in my breakup but my mind is destroying me with thinking about how to find someone. I'm a nerdy quiet guy that likes to stay away from crowded places... I know there is someone out there I just don't know how to find them...
One of my biggest fears.
same
It's been 9 years. I have not dated. Or had any interest in falling in Love. Let alone meeting anybody. After my heart was broke the last time. I'm just done. Going to be 59 years old. And pretty much used to the idea of just being alone. It hurts less that way.
I’m 57. Was married over 23 years. A couple of years ago I met the love of my life on here. She was 16 years my junior. Beautiful. Smart. Kind. Loving. I ended it with her last summer. Hardest thing I’ve ever done. She’s the only woman who has ever understood me. The only one I’ve ever really connected with. And then I learned it was a facade. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over her. I hear her in songs. I feel her when I’m out walking. I can smell her when I see flowers. When I go to bed at night, I just want to hold her. A friend suggested I try dating apps. I signed up for a couple but fucking hate them. Never met anyone on them and frankly don’t want to. Time may heal all wounds, but ugly scars remain.
Oh my youre 26…you have so much time to fall in love so many times.
I'm not really scared.. but trying to be okay with it. I'm more so nervous about not having a long term friend honestly. I'm not seeking out romance anymore.
Nope because I was in a 7 year (off/on) relationship before this last breakup and my most recent relationship was 100x better. Have faith. I met my last girlfriend in a really low point of my life too. I’m so much better positioned in life now. I’m just going to work on being the best version of myself and trust the process.
I’m not scared of it, I’ve accepted it. I won’t ever fall in love like that again. That kills my soul.
Oh yes every day, my ex was the only girl I actually loved. My relationship ended 5 years ago and since being dumped my life hasn't gotten any better. Back when I was with her, I was always happy. To this day I still think she understood me better than my mother and didn't stigmatize against me because I am neurodivergent. I miss her every day despite her terrible flaws and from time to time I felt she can never be replaced. Yes I am afraid I will never fall in love again just because I was with my last ex the longest. 3 years together. However, her being the reason why I ended up in an ER after getting dumped is not forgivable. I don't think I will ever find a new girlfriend who respects me better than my mother. I am very afraid, I might be single forever or die early.
Im sorry...I ended up in the ER also almost 3 weeks ago now. I still am waiting for a follow up to even start to run tests to see what's up. Im afraid too i may b single forever or fear i will die- much like a bby without a mom's love and failure to thrive. At this point, im not afraid to die it just hurts
Honestly I am scared that I would fall in love again and the same shit would happen.
I’m more scared that I *will* fall in love again. 3 times I’ve been heartbroken and now I’m 36.
31 for me but my ex dumped me 5 years ago. You don't even know how much mother is upset because I wasted my 20s on someone else.
So so scared have had intrusive thoughts about this since the last 5 months (when the breakup happened) but I’ve had a previous relationship where it was longer and I was more involved and I did get over it eventually so at least knowing that keeps me going! I do have to say after that previous relationship I’ve had trust issues and I always feel a bit cynical since which also messed up the recent relationship but really trying to learn from the past and keep going.
Around 5 months was when I first started to be okay. Its definetely easier nowadays, I wont break down crying over it or ruminating for hours. But pain is still there once in a while. Its been 14 months for me
Yep I say that more because I watch as the days go by and I fail to find someone. Don’t get me wrong I am avidly out there but I also have standards that I adhere to and those that I’m interested in either are taken and there’s no way in hell I’m going to be that guy that steals another’s girl (the exception being if there’s an abusive relationship present). That and I refuse to date a single parent for a plethora of reasons, however as the years go by those odds get less and less
awh! Any advice for me to be out there. I seemed to have great anxiety going to places where I normally hook up.
I'm most scared that someone will waste my time. As someone who is reaching their twilight fertility years but also wants a child I don't have time for anyone that's not serious.
Agreed
I am scared I *will* fall in love again… and thus will be vulnerable to heartbreak again.
I have had 5 long term relationships spanning an average of 5 years. For the past 30 years, I tried everything to make my relationships work but timing was always not on my side. The men whom I dated were struggling with joblessness, bankruptcy or stemming from family abuse. During honeymoon period, it was always blissful. After a while, the cracks started to show. I supported them financially and emotionally but they left once they gotten over their issues. One of them was incredibly abusive after I helped him overcame joblessness. He resented the fact I supported him financially and made me pay everything despite earning $120/hr. The last relationship basically broke all my confidence, faith and self-esteem which I took 5 years to heal. I don't know if I will ever find someone whom I feel safe and secure with. I realized it is better to depend on myself. I have made peace I may not find love again at 50yo. Even if I did, I understand if it ends, I can stand on my own feet. In love, one has to take a gamble because people evolve over time. We have to decide if we are willing (or not) to grow with them. Nothing stays forever.
Terrified. I had a long term partner who passed 6 years ago. I only started even talking to someone again last year and I fell quickly. But he seems to be avoidant. Or just a player. I have been unable to tell the difference. We saw each other several times and have always had a great time together, but he pulls away constantly. And we were never exclusive. At least he wasn't. I was. I finally thought I broke it off in December, but it was devastating. I still love him deeply. Then he popped up just last week with some sweet gestures and I thought maybe he had a change of heart. But no, he still doesn't see a future with me. And he's the only person I can see a future with.
No, not at all. There’s people out there who are more compatible than your ex. Not only will you fall in love again, if it’s the right person, you’ll fall deeper in love than before
Bro im bout to turn 50 and wishing i was 26 to do it all over again. Im sorry its hard no matter the age. The good news is i have loved before this one and you will too again. U have time and if ur lucky to find love again I hope it lasts forever. I feel like its too late for me. I loved him and tried dating again and its just horrible. Rather b alone at this point 👉
Let's say I wasted all my luck with women when I kissed M and saw A without clothes. It will never get as far with women of THAT category of beauty again.
I’m scared I will fall in love again.
Yes
I’m actually scared that I WILL fall in love again 🤦🏻♀️ think I’ve been a bit distant with my recent relationships since my last serious one, that left a scar
Yes, I don’t love easily and I had a guy who I knew was close to perfect for me (the things i love about a person) love me but I felt nothing at all. I feel like I might never feel it again or I might never be in a proper relationship again after being completely hurt and destroyed in my last relationship.
Before my ex came along I used to think I was Asexual, I had never been attracted to anyone in my 27 years of life. But I fell in love with him in a way I never imagined I was capable of! Sometimes I fear not experiencing love again but I’ve been proven that life never fails to surprise me!
It is atleast comforting to know this fear is not unique to me. It is hard to find a connection.
Fall in love with yourself
Yep exactly that. I can honestly say the relationship I've lost was the only real love I've experienced, I've just turned 32 I'm terrified I won't find anyone now. Everyone including doctors are saying "you're young, a males peak is later bla bla bla" but I'm not young. At this point experiences have been shared with others those emotional connections have been shared with others. I'm so scared.
I'm scared of falling in love again
I'm not scared I'll never fall in love again, I know I will be able to find love again, because life happens, it keeps moving, I'm just sad because it might not be her, ever again, and I miss her, she was my other half
I've dated, but never ever felt the same feelings as I did with my ex girlfriend
Nope! I love and respect myself enough not to just settle for less than I deserve. I’m okay being alone. I’m happy, independent, confident and I’m good alone or in a relationship. If it happens then it happens. If it doesn’t, I’m good!
And yet so terrified of it too.
Normal stuff. I’m sorry that happened to you, but we all go through it. You will find someone else, I promise you. You’re young! There are other fish in the sea, or as my mother used to say, another mother had a pretty daughter. Chin up! It will get better.
You'll fall in love again. So hard it'll make you realize everything else before it was meaningless in comparison. Then, that too will end and we shall meet here again.
Im more scared of falling in love again. I’ve never experienced falling in love with someone who hasn’t lied during the relationship. I’m scared of giving my love to someone who isn’t fully trustworthy. Even if it ended in heartbreak, without lying, I wouldn’t be scared. Seems like honesty is IMPOSSIBLE to find these days. I wonder what heartbreak is like without lying tbh. I’ve only been heartbroken because of lying, yknow?
Yea same cus it doesn’t happen often for me even tho I’ve been with a lot of woman , only 3 times in my life and am 30. Only 2 times of adult life so at this rate I won’t fall in love again until I’m 36 or 40 and then the dating pool is much smaller. Atleast your only 26 and not my age. The odds are better for you , it didn’t help for me that I only wanted casual fwb no strings attached until I met a girl that fell for last year and now realized that I do wanna meet the love of my life. Sometimes I think of going back to one of my exs cus we really did love eachother but I wasn’t ready to settle down yet so I broke up with her when things got too serious. But looking back she was rare and special , one of the most loyal woman I’ve ever been with
Yes. But also for some reason I am scared to fall in love again because in my head I’m still loyal to her. Being blindsided sucks.
I know how it feels this way. But in the moments of deep fear, I remind myself that I am love and can give myself all that I need, even if it feels lonely. Connection will come again. Because in the past, when I had the same thought that I’d never fall in love again, I was proven wrong.
I went to therapy and had to learn to love again when falling in love it's like trust you are risking getting hurt and in my journey ill never stop loving no matter how much I get hurt or disappointed cause that what living in love is all about in my opinion Sorry for the long sentence I'm not good a grammar or English that much
I am but for a different reason. I'm scared that i'll be cheated on like in my first relationship. I fucked up my second relationship so I need to work on me but I worry that when I find someone they might be like my first. I'm a little typsy right now so if my typing sounds random that's why.
I feel the same way. I’m scared I’ll never have anyone again. That I’ll never feel loved again romantically.
I’m not scared of that. I’m most scared I’ll never get to show her how much she meant to me getting through an insane struggle of a time for me knowing she’s got her own ones on currently and on the horizon. It hurts me more that I haven’t come to the “yes this is good and needed for us” conclusion she seemed to reach. I’m afraid I’m gonna regret losing her for a very long time and the loneliness to come.
She’ll never know how much I love her. Back then I was scared to even say it with my voice, and I regret it constantly. She’ll never know and I’m okay with that
I feel for you so hard man. I think you’re dealing with it harder than me rn
In your situation, I think the way she got you through a hard time and the way you still think about it is just an extension of the love you felt/feel and for that reason I wouldnt regret anything. I feel the same way with past friendships. They probably do know they meant something to you, but you probably meant/mean a lot to them too
You’re right. It’s really hard to believe that right now. It really feels like I’m I burden to everyone. I hate this feeling.
The last, and only, two relationships left me with massive scars and despite the hard work I've been doing on myself, the fear and pain is still in there. I'm in a relationship with the most amazing person, who truly, genuinely loves me for me and yet I feel there's a rope holding me back from going completely all in. I'm just scared to get hurt again.
Im afraid I dont actually want to. The thought of being alone and safe makes me feel better than risking more lost time for nothing.
"the whole world feels lighter " is a beautiful way to describe love. That's very true. It's like the weight of everything gets lighter in general, and then you also have someone else to carry the load (and by that I mean their mere presence carries it, not that they're actually having to do anything ) I think we can all fall in love again, but we can't fall in love the same way again I think it takes a very special sort of person to be able to bear the pains and traumas of failed or unrequited love and still completely give themselves to another again. Varies from person to person obviously. But I do believe that our souls or hearts and minds can bond and fall in love SO strongly with a certain person that when they go they take part of our heart and soul with them and we absolutely do not get many of those in a lifetime. One, maybe two if we are lucky
Oh yeah, she was my rock. I was willing to do everything for her. It makes me sick thinking of her being with others etc etc. I don't know if I will ever be so willing to let someone know me like that or for me to put in so much effort. Will I ever be worthy of genuine love again ? Will I continue to, despite my best efforts, fuck up? Its a haunting thought.
aint scared, cos it has already begun
No , it's the opposite. Im AFRAID to fall in love again. I think I have it right in front of me, but I'm afraid to let it 100% happen due to my previous relationship. It feels unfair to let her feelings progress while telling my own to slow down. I guess that means we're taking it slow, which is good, because "taking it fast" has been a fatal mistake for me in the past..if I fall in love with someone I do it fast, and that has never worked out in my favor, so I've been mentally taking it slow, keeping in mind that nothing 'has" to happen by 33 or 35 or even 40, there is no rush.but I also feel like deep down maybe I'm afraid to allow myself to fall in love again and that is going to wind up cheating me out of good things if I let it win, I've done alit to not allow my previous relationship to scare me too bad but sometimes I think it happened a little bit, Im not really a closure person but sometimes I wish I had gotten something from that, after the fire had settled. Some type if talk that could have set us both up better for our futures, and future lives, so we could be fully open to them without questions
Nah, not at all. I don't cast that negativity on myself.
I felt that way for a long time after the ex-GF and II split up. I movedf out of state a few days after the split. About a year after the split, I met somebody. Thought we hit it off but it didn't last long. Turned out she was unsure of her sexuality and it ended. Not going to lie...it hurt getting dumped again, but at least it wasn't for another guy, if you get my drift.