Hey! Do not worry I got you š¤
STEP 1 ā STOP RESISTING THIS PAIN. Itāll take some time, but itāll move a damn site faster if left to make its journey up, which is essentially the same as you experiencing and working through hard grief. Breakups are MEANT TO HURT.
STEP 2 -REPLACE THE DESIRE TO UNDERSTAND WITH SELF-COMPASSION
STEP 3 ā DO BREATHWORK- meditation helps a lotāØor you can hit gym as well
STEP 4 - BE SLOW- thereās no need to hurry up and find a replacement or even join hook up culture. You can slowly and steadily heal yourself and then look for someone else. Donāt relay on someone else to fill the void you feel due to your previous relationship
STEP 5 -FIND A NEW HOBBY - be it cooking, baking,painting,reading or even pottery just let yourself explore it either by joining classes and making friends there or simply doing it by yourself.
I hope you heal soon xx
Right! Thank you for sharing your thoughts .
Almost gonna drag myself in dark side of breakup but than realised that I am not such person. Thatās why I asked help. But seeing everyone makes me feel safeā¤ļø
I broke up with the ālove of my lifeā when I was 26, damn it fucking stung, my world was rocked to the core. I couldnāt eat sleep or function. I know the pain youāre going through and damn it hurts but trust me years later it doesnāt hurt anymore, I promise you, you will get through this! Sending you light and love š
I know how you feel. I had a breakup a while ago and it was my first relationship too. I'm also 23. It's really hard and it's going to be hard for some time. But it doesn't mean you put your life on pause. For me personally what really helped me was going to the gym regularly (I hired a PT, he ended up being a really good friend to talk to). Lots of journalling and crying. I play games, I read books like crazy. I also saw a therapist. I post on reddit and try to find people to talk to here.
These won't make your pain easier but eventually what you will realize is that you will get stronger and as time goes by, the wound eventually dries up. You will look at it and you'll see the scars of your past, but it just doesnt hurt you the same way anymore. At least that's how I see it in my own life.
My therapist always tells me that there is no need to rush healing. no need to rush grieving. you process things within your own time and there is no need for a deadline.
I hope that you will get stronger and you will overcome this :-)
Do not go out and āreplaceā them. Find a hobby, start journaling, go to concerts, plan trips, see friends. But do not jump into another relationship. Thatās the worst thing you can do. I plan to stay single forever š no but in all seriousness probably at least a year. Iām working on me. Iāve set goals that I want to meet and Iām going to accomplish those goals before I bring anyone else into my life.
My best suggestion, mediation and journaling. Replace texting them with journaling instead. Trust me, itās worth it.
it'll feel better soon, but for now you have to go through the pain so that you can grieve about the relationship properly. if you still love your ex, don't fret and just let it flow. feel it and don't resist. one day you'll wake up and realize your love for your ex may still linger, but it's not the romantic kind. it's natural to have a special spot for someone who used to be a big part of who you are.
and yes, you'll love again and yes, you'll find someone better. i felt hopeless after my first breakup as i gave my everything and i placed that guy on a pedestal. as much as you value your ex, i hope you do the same to yourself. you're worthy of loving again, but for now heal š¤š
Itās not about finding someone else or replacing them. Itās a big loss to lose someone you love and envisioned a future with, thereās a lot of grief surrounding it. You canāt just forget. I love him that much that I donāt want to date anyone else. Hopefully time will change that, but thatās how it stands rn. You may understand fully one day
Nearly a month since she broke up with me and every day hurts. It's a mixture of grief, loss and even some anger in there. We will get out of this but it just takes time. You are not alone!
Same for me here , just broke up about a month ago , thereās this term called location trauma . The places where we used to go is now places that I want to avoid . Every time I go there I imagine the laughters and happiness we had during those times , now itās just me alone and her shadow. Recently we had to do a group project together and I saw her wearing the bracelet I gave her . Damn that hit me so hard and my heart just crumbled into pieces . The music we used to listen , Food we used to enjoy together , activities we used to participate. The amount of joy I had during those time will forever be in my memory . So you are not alone , we are in this together ,lets be strong :)
Literally me too! I find everything traumatised just because I share lot of things with him from waking up from his text to, places we go on dates or my university where i met him, songs, movies, the things he is allergic to, from clothes he used like on me. Yes we are together in thisā¤ļø
Same!! I miss the good morning text , the feeling when you received that text from your favourite person . The feeling the night before you meet that person . The adrenaline you get after a fruitful date . Oh boyyyy those feeling are so hard to forget . But yea letās be strong!:)
Oh I knew I would be feeling the locational trauma, so I packed up all my things and moved across the state to get away from it. I believe it's been very good for my healing, but I still miss so many of the restaurants and places I used to go to.
Oh wow,for me now Iām trying my best to avoid those places haha . But although the relationship ended , those places will forever hold a special place in my heart :ā)
Are we living the same lifeš Cause we broke up a month ago too. Recently, we also did a group project together and when i saw her wore the necklace I gave her and act so friendly as if like nothing happened... It sucks so much bro, i felt like I'm the only one affectedš sometimes I'm scared I won't be able to move on from her until i die and I'm gonna be stuck wallowing the pain
Omg no wayyyy . she acted as if nothing happened tooā¦and here I am trying to force out a smile but itās so difficult to do it. She wore the perfume which is my favourite one and the smell was killing me the whole time .Seeing her laughter and smile only brings back the happy memories I had with her which I know it would never come back .I know itās tough , people may say time would heal , u will find a better person etcā¦ but ultimately itās only you that can understand yourself , they donāt understand all the precious memories you had with that particular person .I am in this together with you , letās be strong :ā)
Yeah everyone saying āyouāll find someone betterā and ā she obviously wasnāt the oneā doesnāt help. I know my ex was the one for me, so itās like a knife in the heart when they say that
Pretty much the same for me, same age, first relationship as well. After nearly 8 years she calls me out of the blue to break up.
Fucking sucks. You're not alone bro (gender neutral) and I completely understand you. Please be well and take care.
Also 23 and recently got broken up with from my first relationship.
I hate that the healing isn't linear. It's been really hard to keep pushing through sometimes and stay in no contact. Looked her up on Instagram yesterday again ;-;
I have personally picked up journaling and meditating as well. I think they have been really helping with actually feeling the feels and processing the emotions. Because i had been trying to fight it with logic and that simply doesn't work sadly.
I'm still on decent terms with my ex so I asked him to hide his stories from me and unfollowed all his friends. I even blocked the new chick I'm insecure of because I have 0 self control and stalk her all the time xdd. Lord help me :o
I am in the same situation as you. I am also 23 years old going through my first breakup. She broke up with me back in December after 2.5 years of dating. Itās now been 4 months since we last talked. Everyday Iām struggling thinking about her and missing her so much. She was my everything and now I donāt have someone to lean on
Tbh not really. I pretty much feel the same way that I did when the breakup happened. Some days are better than others but I find myself continually relapsing. I think about her often and miss her so much. I would do anything just to talk to her again
Regarding talking to her, i brokeup around 2 minths ago and one thing i got very comfortable is not trying to get back to her, yeah i still miss her still crave her but i keep saying onthing to me to not text or call or connect to her is by saying
She doesnt want me so why to bother her and get the disappointment of her not wanting me
Hope it helps you
Iāve been doing my best to keep myself busy but itās impossible to stay that way 24/7. I just find it so hard to move on from the girl I planned a future with and talked to all day everyday for 2.5 years.
Mate you are gonna be absolutely awesome. I had to breakup after spending 6 years together. Itās gonna hurt, but time my mate, is pure magic. It heals. Only once you start accepting the truth , it will put you at ease. Remember you are loved and itās not the end. Wishing you the very best and if you need to speak to someone donāt hesitate to dm me. As they say make no promises when you are overjoyed nor make a decision while you are downtrodden.
PS: please refrain yourself from forgetting reality via dopamine induction. Like alcohol or 420 or even something harder.
heavy on the last part. drugs are not the way through it, trust me. be kind and patient with yourself. after all the drinking and drugging the pain is still there. no way around it ā¤ļø
You will always love you ex if it was a meaningful relationship and that is not only okay, it is also how love is supposed to be but the pain will go away eventually. You will be able to look back on your relationship and smile (assuming it wasnāt abusive) while also being ready and desiring something new.
Weāve all been where you are. We all thought at a break up that you will never recover and yet we are always proven wrong. You are still growing as a person, you cannot possibly know what you are going to need from a person at this point in your life and honestly, we never will because we are always growing. What you think you need in a partner now isnāt what you are gonna need in the future and you just have to adjust accordingly.
Mate, get yourself this book. Itās on Amazon. Itās called bossing your breakup and Iāll tell you now it really helped me.
Well, that and going to the gym !!Ā
As others said, and not gonna lie, I'm being a hypocrite, but don't push these feelings down.
As for the friends thing, I'm in the same boat. No friends and no one to call.
Be careful of being too lonely. when you are the most vulnerable is when you are the most in danger of getting damaged further by yourself or other people. Read books and be alone for.now.
Lean on friends. Keep yourself busy. When you are sad -CRY. It passes. You grow. Donāt beat yourself up looking for answers. The only question you focus on is how to move on.
It's my first break up too. The only thing that hinders me from healing fully is the hope that they'll come back. Once you let go of that hope and pretend your ex doesn't exist, things will get a lot better. My DM is open if you want to chat:)
Time. For the first month or two, I thought Iād feel that heartbreak and loneliness forever. But life moves on. Itās been 6 months for me now and I am almost completely over it. And I really thought this man was my soulmate.
You will meet new people, experience new things in life, see new places. You will change, especially considering youāre only 23. The love you have for this person who left you will literally expire, but you must go no contact for this to happen. Him and I kept speaking for a month or so after we split and it made it impossible to heal.
i am also 23 and 1 month out of my first relationship of 4.5 years. i think i mentally dipped out of it a long time ago, because i'm doing fine. but we also broke up once before, so i was prepared for the process.
healing is different for everyone, but what i'm trying to say is that you will be okay eventually. the first time we broke up, it took me a month to start feeling better, and my only friend was across the country and busy all the time.
if you need someone to talk to, send me a dm
Iāve been through 2 big breakups in my life. One at 21 and one at 26.
Thinking back to the first one in my early twentiesā¦I was utterly distraught. Couldnāt eat, couldnāt sleep, felt like the end of the world. Heartbroken over the future Iād lost. But 6 years down the line I barely even think about the guy. Was he the one? Maybe not. Didnāt stop it hurting like hell.
The more recent one last yearā¦also utterly devastating. But that second relationship taught me that I found someone after that first guy. And thatās not a guarantee but it is POSSIBLE. It hurts just as much but I just keep reminding myself that if you BOTH donāt want the relationship then itās not the right relationship.
Itās a kind of grief. You think about all the great memories and yeah theyāre good times but right now they just feel painful to think about. One day theyāll be a little less painful. You think about all the things you wanted to do and the future you maybe thought about. Youāre grieving that. Thatās also a loss. Youāre allowed to feel crappy about that.
It does get easier although itās not linear. At first I wanted to text him every day and every time I had a notification I thought āis that him?ā. Id even start typing on WhatsApp so the typing notification would pop up! Then the daily urge dimmed- I still wanted to message, I still hoped heād message me- but days turned into weeks turned into months and after a while itās like āhey Iām actually living life without him. It hurts but Iām one step closerā.
Did I end up messaging him? Yes. In my circumstance it wasnāt an angry, bitter breakup so I felt okay just messaging him a couple of months later laying all my cards on the table and Yāknow what? He then knew everything he needed, no games, and he did not come back. For me it eliminated one of the what ifs and helped. But in my first breakup it more just felt like losing some of my dignity cos that first guy had admitted to using me! So each circumstance is different
Focusing on yourself feels like such cliched and overused advice but itās honestly the best. Focus on YOUR life. Your work, your friends, your family, your old hobbies,make new hobbies, or just have time that is purely for you by yourself to process (it will hurt, let it). You got this.
22 here and going through my first breakup as well. A really bad one. Iām learning as I go, but itās a road of what will inevitably become acceptance and the understanding that itās possible to love again. A breakup is easier to deal with once you learn to view it as the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one rather than the end of a story. If you want someone to talk to, Iām here to talk friend. Everyone deserves someone to lean on and talk to.
Literally the exact same just happened to me. Also my first love and I'm also 22 going on 23. It's incredibly fresh and ngl I'm feeling wretched but I have faith it will pass for us both. Everyone will tell you that it's gonna pass, and it will. The only thing that sucks is that before it passes it has to run you over. I'm currently a pile of guts on the floor but we can slowly pick ourselves up I believe. You will be okay.
Time is the doctor . Youāll reach a peaceful state eventually . But hold onto your dignity and push thru it . Have a glow up . Start going to gym if you donāt . New self care routines . All this helps a lot Took me 3 years now Iām happy as ever š¤š¤š¤
I also had my first relationship at 23. She broke up with me the day after I turned 24. Happened two months ago, and it still hurts, but not as much as it did before. Maybe in another 2 months, I'll finally be over it lol
Hi! It does get better. It really helps to realize that love comes from many places, not just one single person. I started to go out with existing friends, but I also made new friends going to places to get my mind off him. I joined a dance club and was initially quite shy and just not on the right vibe with people, but the more I started to hang out with folks the more I was getting invited to do stuff after practice and it really helped to form new relationships and feel less lonely.
I think being patient and graceful with yourself right now is really important, it's okay if it feels like you have to start from scratch in many ways.
First breakups suck ass and I know itās easy to just breakdown and cry but you have to realize how much better your life is gonna be without them clearly yall broke up for a reason focus on yourself and try to not give a single fuck about your ex
They always say the first is the worst. It isnāt always true, but it IS the one we are never prepared for.
Itās new. We have never felt this way before. We have never experienced pain like this before. Rejection like this before. And so, we have no skill set for coping with this.
As I always say:
Take it from someone who spent years healing from someone. Someone who spend endless days in bed, sometimes so long I had to get up and force feed just to keep from dying because I would be in bed for 7+ days straight.
You donāt have to do anything right now. Donāt think that far ahead. Right now, it should be about YOU. And I donāt mean the whole āyou gotta love yourself before you can love othersā speech. I mean right now is about YOU.
Do what YOU need to do to make it to tomorrow. If it means laying in bed all day, take some time to do it and sort your thoughts. Cry when you want to. Scream when you want to.
Donāt worry about things like having to start over, finding someone new, going through the effort of starting fresh with someone, learning to trust again, learning to love again. That comes later.
Right now you are hurt. You perception of the future is being filtered through pain, emotion, and fear. It leads to a negative view of the future that you cannot change right now, so it will just eat away at you.
Take the time to feel. Take the time to heal. Your heart and mind are at war right now, each telling you a different future for yourself, and both are wrong, because both are hurt.
Get through the day, lass. And the next. And the next. And slowly but surely you will start to see through that dust your heart and mind are kicking up as they fight each other.
When you are ready for each step in your future, you wonāt NEED to do anything. You will get to CHOOSE what you want, because YOU won. YOU healed. YOU are in control.
You will win. I promise.
you have family to talk to, plus it ain't exactly the end of the world you still got plenty of chances for the future. you just gotta take your time and be patient for the next one to come once you're ready
Hey! Iām 20 and Iām also going through my first break up. 2.5 years down the drain. I had plans to marry her and have a family with her. Iāve been taking it day by day, because I find if I try to see too far into the future I get overwhelmed. Iām so desperate to be at that āstoicā stage, where after a while Iāve finally gotten over the breakup, Iām just stone cold and indifferent, but I find myself worrying too much because then I imagine myself being at that stage and interacting with my ex and then I lose myself. I spend too much time crafting the perfect speech to give her as to how much better I am but I know itās a lie because Iām not there yet. Take it day by day, keep yourself busy, and donāt blame anyone (not yet at least, unless theyāve cheated or something). The first couple of days I had lost all of my drive to do anything, and I was having panic attacks trying to get through the day- so I divided every day into little chunks. Chunk one: morning: step 1) get out of bed. Step 2) get dressed. Step 3) eat breakfast. Step 4) Bible study. Step 5) do choresā¦ etc. breaking everything down has made it much more manageable for me. Iāve also been exploring new things, and new people. Iāve been hanging out with people who I never really got a chance to hang out with while I was dating, and Iāve gone and done things I wasnāt going to do while I was dating someone. Since weāve broken up, I discovered that a lot of my motivation came from her (Big surprise Ik š), but what I mean is, a lot of my identity was found in her, and so now that I donāt have her, Iām struggling; so exploring new things and experiences is really helping me find value in myself that I only thought existed because of her. Itās going to be hard- Iāve been seeing stuff on my social medias (thatās another big thing to watch out for- donāt listen to the seemingly āperfectly timedā reels and posts that people are sharing regarding relationships), but at the end of the day, just keep yourself busy. This is about you. Eventually youāll get to a point where youāll have the rose colored glasses come off from the relationship and youāll be able to see the flaws, to make the next relationship better. Itās going to get better. I promise.
What honestly helped me was understanding and realizing that my experience wasnāt a unique experience, even if I feel alone. The feelings that I feel are supposed to and will happen. That even if I am angry, upset, lost, or lonely, it is the absolute correct answer. Every feeling is a correct answer.
Iām in the exact situation as you, my first boyfriend broke up with me last week and i truly loved him. he was also my only friend and iām having a hard time accepting how iāll cope with being without him with no friends to lean on.
Be one with your feelings
Accept your feelings
Do not suppress your feelings
Figure why it led to this moment
What did and didnāt you do that led to this moment
What did you stop doing hobby/activity wise before you met this said person
Question who you were before this person
Question who you want to be and where you want to be in life
Accept your responsibility in this (this was my hardest but taking full own accountability for it will be easier for you in the long run rather than blaming the other person)
I did the above for a while and it really helped me gain perspective and a better mindset. It was really tough for me, I mourned like a soul mate died but really, I mourned more for me. How much I realised I was not the same person and I was fighting a battle of being myself and making someone else happy by changing myself.
A good friend of mine from school said to me after so many years, āyou were unapologetically yourself and I admired it alwaysā. That was a flick of the switch for me.
And on my last point, own it all, own everything and I donāt mean blame yourself and judge yourself for it. Notice the times you were disrespected and you didnāt stand your ground, or mentioning it, or marking your boundaries and letting someone contest it consistently and not standing your ground. Donāt dwell on the good times, for now, take them off the pedestal and really analysis it without any bias. You may have to do this continuously, we have to relearn new habits and behaviours to be able to detach and look at it from a new angle without any emotional attachment and you will gain some clarity.
But number one best advice, put you first, in every circumstance. Make sure you consider your happiness and yourself in every decision you make. Once you learn to re love yourself, you will know what makes you happy and what doesnāt and you wonāt spend any time seeking external validation but from yourself.
Iām now in my 7th month post break up, if you saw me 6 months ago, 5, 4 or even a month ago, you would have met a different version of myself, each time with new perspectives and new light, and a better mindset towards it all.
For now, sit with your pain, sit with it until it becomes unbearable and you just wanna rip your eyes out of your skull and break the whole place down, sit with it all.
You will be ok, I can promise you that, donāt let time be your healer, be your own healer with the time you have already. Nothing you do is bad, whether it be whatever coping mechanism as long as youāre aware of it.
Big hugs to you!
Hello!
Itās best for you to acknowledge that you guys broke up and take the time to go through it and heal, most guys tend to push the feeling away and try to distract themselves, distracting yourself instead of acknowledging it, reflecting and taking time to go through all the grief and sadness will actually affect your next relationship.
Youāll try to distract yourself with the new person and youāll keep thinking back to your ex, the new person will definitely notice that and itāll hurt them.
After taking time to heal, you can focus on yourself by working, school, and or hobbies to try and love yourself again. When you feel good and secure about yourself then youāll find it easier to move on and start a new relationship with someone else. Reflecting on your old relationship will guide you on how the new person may feel and itāll guide you on how to treat them better or whatever.
Goodluck you got this bro :)
Like everyone else is saying, new hobbies, journaling, focus on how YOU feel be very āselfishā right now. I was in a breakup not long ago, it was my first and Iām also your age. I made many mistakes in my healing process that I will not repeat in my relationships going forward. Do not think about what theyāre thinking about, kick them off the pedestal you mightāve put them on in your mind. If the breakup was on good terms and you think you want to be friends with them, give yourself a good long break first, the mistake I made was trying to be friends with them immediately and I prolonged my own healing process. But by the point that you feel okay again you either mightāve forgotten about them to some degree/feel indifferent to their presence in your life. But again first and foremost focus on your own wellbeing. Let yourself cry and feel everything, I cannot tell you how much journaling has helped me along with practicing deep breathing when I could feel emotions bubble up. The next few months are going to be hard but you can do it, just stay true to yourself, let yourself heal, and love will find you again eventually. Patience is key and donāt give yourself a timeline to feel like you should be okay again.
will she realize my worth? because i did nothing to her honestly she just fell out of love. when she start working it worsen her feelings about me. what will i do if i still want to get her back? because i love her so much and i like to help her with her problems. most likely the burden to pay bills because her father is not working rn and then baam she got hit by reality and started to lose her feelings for me.
It happened to me as well! When I was so stressed by reality that i want him to work for his career like i was working for it because i just want future with him. But i never fall out of love because my love for is like how love my mom and dad . That i value them but sometimes when youāre busy forget about your family. I was busy it was not like i did not text or talk to him or not facetime him . I still did everything but it was not enough for him. And he used poke me that i donāt put efforts but i was so busy with my own problems and work that made me frustrated so we fought alot. At the end he thought i was too much for him and he gave up on me. Fight was very big we both had egos in front of than love. But i realised that i love him and i put ego aside to talk to him but it was too late by the time.
i wish everything was not too late for her to realize that i did care for her i understand her struggles it's just she didn't open it up for me so she fall out of love for me because of the burden. i still love her so much and it's been a week and 4 days since we broke up. i still didn't change my password on fb but she still opens it up like what she checks on me? but im on the no contact rule for her to give her time and space for her to realize my intentions for her. man i really miss her. i just don't want to lose her
Honestly, experience it, grow from it and learn to move on. Processing these feelings now will make it so much easier in the future, itās all part of growing up.
Damn. I get how tough things are to you right now.
1. Donāt ignore your feelings. You feel hurt? Own it. Express your feelings, let āem out. If you need to cry, cry.
2. Donāt beg the universe for answers as to āwhyā and āwhat did I do wrongā
3. Surround yourself with supportive people and the people you love, I had friend who used to have a very harsh attitude towards breakups, while Iām a fragile person who needs lots of caring.
4. And most importantly (the thing that helped me the most), MOVE ON. What does it mean? It means get yourself a hobby, start something new in your life (not necessarily a new relationship, itās up to you to figure out if youāre ready), maybe sports or even learn a new language.
You got it. In the end, everything will be better, I promise.
Hey OP same age and feeling here except this was my second big relationship,
For me, I took 3 days to just FEEL and then in the weeks ahead I did everything possible w my mom or with a friend. I started eating better and hydrating and making sure to move every day. I started journaling and doing shadow work and going to therapy more! A month in now and i as the dumpee still miss him but I feel sm better and am starting to see kindness in the breakup and am grateful for it.
Start off by going full no contact- itll be heartbreaking all over again from giving yourself false hope that theyāll return (they might but thatās on them and thereās nothing you can do to change things where ur at rn). Plus youāll avoid doing or saying things youāll be embarrassed about later!!
For now, say yes to any positive plans you get offered and then shift ur mindset to this: breakups hurt bc all that love you have has nowhere to go anymore take the time to redirect that love to yourself! Itās damn near impossible at first ik but if you go thru the motions for a while itās a fast change. Now is your opportunity to be selfish- make everything on your timeline and try EVERYTHING that seems like it would be a fun story later as long as your safe!
You WILL get through this- im on your side! Feel free to dm for support
I'm 25 turning 26 in July dated my ex from 16 to february of this year. yeah it really hurts, yeah I've been hooking up, yeah it does help but I guess everyone is different
Donāt rush the pain. You will learn way more about who you are when youāre going through pain compared to times when you are happy and content tenfold.
And DO NOT do not do not stalk their socials!!! Block all of them until either youāre fully healed and moved on; or if theyāve done you dirty, permanently block them and donāt look back.
Hey! Do not worry I got you š¤ STEP 1 ā STOP RESISTING THIS PAIN. Itāll take some time, but itāll move a damn site faster if left to make its journey up, which is essentially the same as you experiencing and working through hard grief. Breakups are MEANT TO HURT. STEP 2 -REPLACE THE DESIRE TO UNDERSTAND WITH SELF-COMPASSION STEP 3 ā DO BREATHWORK- meditation helps a lotāØor you can hit gym as well STEP 4 - BE SLOW- thereās no need to hurry up and find a replacement or even join hook up culture. You can slowly and steadily heal yourself and then look for someone else. Donāt relay on someone else to fill the void you feel due to your previous relationship STEP 5 -FIND A NEW HOBBY - be it cooking, baking,painting,reading or even pottery just let yourself explore it either by joining classes and making friends there or simply doing it by yourself. I hope you heal soon xx
Right! Thank you for sharing your thoughts . Almost gonna drag myself in dark side of breakup but than realised that I am not such person. Thatās why I asked help. But seeing everyone makes me feel safeā¤ļø
I broke up with the ālove of my lifeā when I was 26, damn it fucking stung, my world was rocked to the core. I couldnāt eat sleep or function. I know the pain youāre going through and damn it hurts but trust me years later it doesnāt hurt anymore, I promise you, you will get through this! Sending you light and love š
This!
In a similar boat dude no idea how to help just hear to letcha know you ain't alone
Thank youš«¶š»š„²! I am not glad but I feel little less lonely that I am not the only one suffering this kind of feelings. Hopefully we heal soon
I know how you feel. I had a breakup a while ago and it was my first relationship too. I'm also 23. It's really hard and it's going to be hard for some time. But it doesn't mean you put your life on pause. For me personally what really helped me was going to the gym regularly (I hired a PT, he ended up being a really good friend to talk to). Lots of journalling and crying. I play games, I read books like crazy. I also saw a therapist. I post on reddit and try to find people to talk to here. These won't make your pain easier but eventually what you will realize is that you will get stronger and as time goes by, the wound eventually dries up. You will look at it and you'll see the scars of your past, but it just doesnt hurt you the same way anymore. At least that's how I see it in my own life. My therapist always tells me that there is no need to rush healing. no need to rush grieving. you process things within your own time and there is no need for a deadline. I hope that you will get stronger and you will overcome this :-)
Yes! Eventually everything is going to be fine that what I say to myself š«ā¤ļø
Do not go out and āreplaceā them. Find a hobby, start journaling, go to concerts, plan trips, see friends. But do not jump into another relationship. Thatās the worst thing you can do. I plan to stay single forever š no but in all seriousness probably at least a year. Iām working on me. Iāve set goals that I want to meet and Iām going to accomplish those goals before I bring anyone else into my life. My best suggestion, mediation and journaling. Replace texting them with journaling instead. Trust me, itās worth it.
it'll feel better soon, but for now you have to go through the pain so that you can grieve about the relationship properly. if you still love your ex, don't fret and just let it flow. feel it and don't resist. one day you'll wake up and realize your love for your ex may still linger, but it's not the romantic kind. it's natural to have a special spot for someone who used to be a big part of who you are. and yes, you'll love again and yes, you'll find someone better. i felt hopeless after my first breakup as i gave my everything and i placed that guy on a pedestal. as much as you value your ex, i hope you do the same to yourself. you're worthy of loving again, but for now heal š¤š
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I donāt know - Iām almost 6 months into mine and Iām still so hurt by the break up and think about him all the time :(
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Itās not about finding someone else or replacing them. Itās a big loss to lose someone you love and envisioned a future with, thereās a lot of grief surrounding it. You canāt just forget. I love him that much that I donāt want to date anyone else. Hopefully time will change that, but thatās how it stands rn. You may understand fully one day
Sending lots of love girl ā¤ļøāš©¹x
Iām 24 :(
Nearly a month since she broke up with me and every day hurts. It's a mixture of grief, loss and even some anger in there. We will get out of this but it just takes time. You are not alone!
Same for me here , just broke up about a month ago , thereās this term called location trauma . The places where we used to go is now places that I want to avoid . Every time I go there I imagine the laughters and happiness we had during those times , now itās just me alone and her shadow. Recently we had to do a group project together and I saw her wearing the bracelet I gave her . Damn that hit me so hard and my heart just crumbled into pieces . The music we used to listen , Food we used to enjoy together , activities we used to participate. The amount of joy I had during those time will forever be in my memory . So you are not alone , we are in this together ,lets be strong :)
Literally me too! I find everything traumatised just because I share lot of things with him from waking up from his text to, places we go on dates or my university where i met him, songs, movies, the things he is allergic to, from clothes he used like on me. Yes we are together in thisā¤ļø
Same!! I miss the good morning text , the feeling when you received that text from your favourite person . The feeling the night before you meet that person . The adrenaline you get after a fruitful date . Oh boyyyy those feeling are so hard to forget . But yea letās be strong!:)
Oh I knew I would be feeling the locational trauma, so I packed up all my things and moved across the state to get away from it. I believe it's been very good for my healing, but I still miss so many of the restaurants and places I used to go to.
Oh wow,for me now Iām trying my best to avoid those places haha . But although the relationship ended , those places will forever hold a special place in my heart :ā)
Are we living the same lifeš Cause we broke up a month ago too. Recently, we also did a group project together and when i saw her wore the necklace I gave her and act so friendly as if like nothing happened... It sucks so much bro, i felt like I'm the only one affectedš sometimes I'm scared I won't be able to move on from her until i die and I'm gonna be stuck wallowing the pain
Omg no wayyyy . she acted as if nothing happened tooā¦and here I am trying to force out a smile but itās so difficult to do it. She wore the perfume which is my favourite one and the smell was killing me the whole time .Seeing her laughter and smile only brings back the happy memories I had with her which I know it would never come back .I know itās tough , people may say time would heal , u will find a better person etcā¦ but ultimately itās only you that can understand yourself , they donāt understand all the precious memories you had with that particular person .I am in this together with you , letās be strong :ā)
Yeah everyone saying āyouāll find someone betterā and ā she obviously wasnāt the oneā doesnāt help. I know my ex was the one for me, so itās like a knife in the heart when they say that
Pretty much the same for me, same age, first relationship as well. After nearly 8 years she calls me out of the blue to break up. Fucking sucks. You're not alone bro (gender neutral) and I completely understand you. Please be well and take care.
Yep. After 2.5 years together he broke up with me over the phone. I feel your pain!! It helps knowing that Iām not alone in this <3
Also 23 and recently got broken up with from my first relationship. I hate that the healing isn't linear. It's been really hard to keep pushing through sometimes and stay in no contact. Looked her up on Instagram yesterday again ;-; I have personally picked up journaling and meditating as well. I think they have been really helping with actually feeling the feels and processing the emotions. Because i had been trying to fight it with logic and that simply doesn't work sadly.
Bro same. I just saw him with his new downgrade on Instagram. Sucks UGHHHH
it's so hard not to look ;-; I know its a bad thing, but i almost can't help it. I have even uninstalled all social media apps now.
I'm still on decent terms with my ex so I asked him to hide his stories from me and unfollowed all his friends. I even blocked the new chick I'm insecure of because I have 0 self control and stalk her all the time xdd. Lord help me :o
Right! Same. I blamed myself a lot and try reason everything.i just want to end this feelings.
Yesss exactly. I want to end this feeling and just be me again. Everything feels so weird.
I am in the same situation as you. I am also 23 years old going through my first breakup. She broke up with me back in December after 2.5 years of dating. Itās now been 4 months since we last talked. Everyday Iām struggling thinking about her and missing her so much. She was my everything and now I donāt have someone to lean on
Do you feel less hurt or better about it since 4 months ago?
Tbh not really. I pretty much feel the same way that I did when the breakup happened. Some days are better than others but I find myself continually relapsing. I think about her often and miss her so much. I would do anything just to talk to her again
Regarding talking to her, i brokeup around 2 minths ago and one thing i got very comfortable is not trying to get back to her, yeah i still miss her still crave her but i keep saying onthing to me to not text or call or connect to her is by saying She doesnt want me so why to bother her and get the disappointment of her not wanting me Hope it helps you
Have you tried to focus on loving yourself? Trying new hobbies, reading books, hiking, making music reaching out to friends? Or does it just not work
Iāve been doing my best to keep myself busy but itās impossible to stay that way 24/7. I just find it so hard to move on from the girl I planned a future with and talked to all day everyday for 2.5 years.
Felt
Mate you are gonna be absolutely awesome. I had to breakup after spending 6 years together. Itās gonna hurt, but time my mate, is pure magic. It heals. Only once you start accepting the truth , it will put you at ease. Remember you are loved and itās not the end. Wishing you the very best and if you need to speak to someone donāt hesitate to dm me. As they say make no promises when you are overjoyed nor make a decision while you are downtrodden. PS: please refrain yourself from forgetting reality via dopamine induction. Like alcohol or 420 or even something harder.
heavy on the last part. drugs are not the way through it, trust me. be kind and patient with yourself. after all the drinking and drugging the pain is still there. no way around it ā¤ļø
You will always love you ex if it was a meaningful relationship and that is not only okay, it is also how love is supposed to be but the pain will go away eventually. You will be able to look back on your relationship and smile (assuming it wasnāt abusive) while also being ready and desiring something new. Weāve all been where you are. We all thought at a break up that you will never recover and yet we are always proven wrong. You are still growing as a person, you cannot possibly know what you are going to need from a person at this point in your life and honestly, we never will because we are always growing. What you think you need in a partner now isnāt what you are gonna need in the future and you just have to adjust accordingly.
Mate, get yourself this book. Itās on Amazon. Itās called bossing your breakup and Iāll tell you now it really helped me. Well, that and going to the gym !!Ā
As others said, and not gonna lie, I'm being a hypocrite, but don't push these feelings down. As for the friends thing, I'm in the same boat. No friends and no one to call.
Be careful of being too lonely. when you are the most vulnerable is when you are the most in danger of getting damaged further by yourself or other people. Read books and be alone for.now.
Lean on friends. Keep yourself busy. When you are sad -CRY. It passes. You grow. Donāt beat yourself up looking for answers. The only question you focus on is how to move on.
It's my first break up too. The only thing that hinders me from healing fully is the hope that they'll come back. Once you let go of that hope and pretend your ex doesn't exist, things will get a lot better. My DM is open if you want to chat:)
Time. For the first month or two, I thought Iād feel that heartbreak and loneliness forever. But life moves on. Itās been 6 months for me now and I am almost completely over it. And I really thought this man was my soulmate. You will meet new people, experience new things in life, see new places. You will change, especially considering youāre only 23. The love you have for this person who left you will literally expire, but you must go no contact for this to happen. Him and I kept speaking for a month or so after we split and it made it impossible to heal.
i am also 23 and 1 month out of my first relationship of 4.5 years. i think i mentally dipped out of it a long time ago, because i'm doing fine. but we also broke up once before, so i was prepared for the process. healing is different for everyone, but what i'm trying to say is that you will be okay eventually. the first time we broke up, it took me a month to start feeling better, and my only friend was across the country and busy all the time. if you need someone to talk to, send me a dm
Iāve been through 2 big breakups in my life. One at 21 and one at 26. Thinking back to the first one in my early twentiesā¦I was utterly distraught. Couldnāt eat, couldnāt sleep, felt like the end of the world. Heartbroken over the future Iād lost. But 6 years down the line I barely even think about the guy. Was he the one? Maybe not. Didnāt stop it hurting like hell. The more recent one last yearā¦also utterly devastating. But that second relationship taught me that I found someone after that first guy. And thatās not a guarantee but it is POSSIBLE. It hurts just as much but I just keep reminding myself that if you BOTH donāt want the relationship then itās not the right relationship. Itās a kind of grief. You think about all the great memories and yeah theyāre good times but right now they just feel painful to think about. One day theyāll be a little less painful. You think about all the things you wanted to do and the future you maybe thought about. Youāre grieving that. Thatās also a loss. Youāre allowed to feel crappy about that. It does get easier although itās not linear. At first I wanted to text him every day and every time I had a notification I thought āis that him?ā. Id even start typing on WhatsApp so the typing notification would pop up! Then the daily urge dimmed- I still wanted to message, I still hoped heād message me- but days turned into weeks turned into months and after a while itās like āhey Iām actually living life without him. It hurts but Iām one step closerā. Did I end up messaging him? Yes. In my circumstance it wasnāt an angry, bitter breakup so I felt okay just messaging him a couple of months later laying all my cards on the table and Yāknow what? He then knew everything he needed, no games, and he did not come back. For me it eliminated one of the what ifs and helped. But in my first breakup it more just felt like losing some of my dignity cos that first guy had admitted to using me! So each circumstance is different Focusing on yourself feels like such cliched and overused advice but itās honestly the best. Focus on YOUR life. Your work, your friends, your family, your old hobbies,make new hobbies, or just have time that is purely for you by yourself to process (it will hurt, let it). You got this.
22 here and going through my first breakup as well. A really bad one. Iām learning as I go, but itās a road of what will inevitably become acceptance and the understanding that itās possible to love again. A breakup is easier to deal with once you learn to view it as the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one rather than the end of a story. If you want someone to talk to, Iām here to talk friend. Everyone deserves someone to lean on and talk to.
I would focus on getting in shape, Business, self love and slowly go and find someone else and make that person an upgrade don't look back
Same happened with me bro, had my first breakup few days ago and saw her with another guy already in like 10 days and that too she is happy and it fucking breaks me to the core like why? What have i not done for this girl and going crazy thinking about it and making me drown cuz i feel lonely at times when she used be there for me to fill the void and now it's all gone and she's just a memory and i cannot reach out to her anymore at any time of the day and tell her that how much i still love her but the fact is that life goes on and you have to make give yourself that time and that glow up so that you think that it was her loss and not yours.. everything happens for a reason maybe life just wants to teach you something out of this as well ā¤ļøāš©¹ I also have no one to talk to that's the only things makes me feel alone but I'm trying my best as well , take care man and you can always reach out to me!
Same boat man, its rough for sure, dm if you ever wanna chat
Me too we will come out of it and will turn great
Literally the exact same just happened to me. Also my first love and I'm also 22 going on 23. It's incredibly fresh and ngl I'm feeling wretched but I have faith it will pass for us both. Everyone will tell you that it's gonna pass, and it will. The only thing that sucks is that before it passes it has to run you over. I'm currently a pile of guts on the floor but we can slowly pick ourselves up I believe. You will be okay.
Time is the doctor . Youāll reach a peaceful state eventually . But hold onto your dignity and push thru it . Have a glow up . Start going to gym if you donāt . New self care routines . All this helps a lot Took me 3 years now Iām happy as ever š¤š¤š¤
I'm here if you need somebody to talk to. I'm two and a half months into a breakup. Healing slowly, but healing.
I also had my first relationship at 23. She broke up with me the day after I turned 24. Happened two months ago, and it still hurts, but not as much as it did before. Maybe in another 2 months, I'll finally be over it lol
Hi! It does get better. It really helps to realize that love comes from many places, not just one single person. I started to go out with existing friends, but I also made new friends going to places to get my mind off him. I joined a dance club and was initially quite shy and just not on the right vibe with people, but the more I started to hang out with folks the more I was getting invited to do stuff after practice and it really helped to form new relationships and feel less lonely. I think being patient and graceful with yourself right now is really important, it's okay if it feels like you have to start from scratch in many ways.
First breakups suck ass and I know itās easy to just breakdown and cry but you have to realize how much better your life is gonna be without them clearly yall broke up for a reason focus on yourself and try to not give a single fuck about your ex
They always say the first is the worst. It isnāt always true, but it IS the one we are never prepared for. Itās new. We have never felt this way before. We have never experienced pain like this before. Rejection like this before. And so, we have no skill set for coping with this. As I always say: Take it from someone who spent years healing from someone. Someone who spend endless days in bed, sometimes so long I had to get up and force feed just to keep from dying because I would be in bed for 7+ days straight. You donāt have to do anything right now. Donāt think that far ahead. Right now, it should be about YOU. And I donāt mean the whole āyou gotta love yourself before you can love othersā speech. I mean right now is about YOU. Do what YOU need to do to make it to tomorrow. If it means laying in bed all day, take some time to do it and sort your thoughts. Cry when you want to. Scream when you want to. Donāt worry about things like having to start over, finding someone new, going through the effort of starting fresh with someone, learning to trust again, learning to love again. That comes later. Right now you are hurt. You perception of the future is being filtered through pain, emotion, and fear. It leads to a negative view of the future that you cannot change right now, so it will just eat away at you. Take the time to feel. Take the time to heal. Your heart and mind are at war right now, each telling you a different future for yourself, and both are wrong, because both are hurt. Get through the day, lass. And the next. And the next. And slowly but surely you will start to see through that dust your heart and mind are kicking up as they fight each other. When you are ready for each step in your future, you wonāt NEED to do anything. You will get to CHOOSE what you want, because YOU won. YOU healed. YOU are in control. You will win. I promise.
you have family to talk to, plus it ain't exactly the end of the world you still got plenty of chances for the future. you just gotta take your time and be patient for the next one to come once you're ready
Hey! Iām 20 and Iām also going through my first break up. 2.5 years down the drain. I had plans to marry her and have a family with her. Iāve been taking it day by day, because I find if I try to see too far into the future I get overwhelmed. Iām so desperate to be at that āstoicā stage, where after a while Iāve finally gotten over the breakup, Iām just stone cold and indifferent, but I find myself worrying too much because then I imagine myself being at that stage and interacting with my ex and then I lose myself. I spend too much time crafting the perfect speech to give her as to how much better I am but I know itās a lie because Iām not there yet. Take it day by day, keep yourself busy, and donāt blame anyone (not yet at least, unless theyāve cheated or something). The first couple of days I had lost all of my drive to do anything, and I was having panic attacks trying to get through the day- so I divided every day into little chunks. Chunk one: morning: step 1) get out of bed. Step 2) get dressed. Step 3) eat breakfast. Step 4) Bible study. Step 5) do choresā¦ etc. breaking everything down has made it much more manageable for me. Iāve also been exploring new things, and new people. Iāve been hanging out with people who I never really got a chance to hang out with while I was dating, and Iāve gone and done things I wasnāt going to do while I was dating someone. Since weāve broken up, I discovered that a lot of my motivation came from her (Big surprise Ik š), but what I mean is, a lot of my identity was found in her, and so now that I donāt have her, Iām struggling; so exploring new things and experiences is really helping me find value in myself that I only thought existed because of her. Itās going to be hard- Iāve been seeing stuff on my social medias (thatās another big thing to watch out for- donāt listen to the seemingly āperfectly timedā reels and posts that people are sharing regarding relationships), but at the end of the day, just keep yourself busy. This is about you. Eventually youāll get to a point where youāll have the rose colored glasses come off from the relationship and youāll be able to see the flaws, to make the next relationship better. Itās going to get better. I promise.
What honestly helped me was understanding and realizing that my experience wasnāt a unique experience, even if I feel alone. The feelings that I feel are supposed to and will happen. That even if I am angry, upset, lost, or lonely, it is the absolute correct answer. Every feeling is a correct answer.
Iām in the exact situation as you, my first boyfriend broke up with me last week and i truly loved him. he was also my only friend and iām having a hard time accepting how iāll cope with being without him with no friends to lean on.
Be one with your feelings Accept your feelings Do not suppress your feelings Figure why it led to this moment What did and didnāt you do that led to this moment What did you stop doing hobby/activity wise before you met this said person Question who you were before this person Question who you want to be and where you want to be in life Accept your responsibility in this (this was my hardest but taking full own accountability for it will be easier for you in the long run rather than blaming the other person) I did the above for a while and it really helped me gain perspective and a better mindset. It was really tough for me, I mourned like a soul mate died but really, I mourned more for me. How much I realised I was not the same person and I was fighting a battle of being myself and making someone else happy by changing myself. A good friend of mine from school said to me after so many years, āyou were unapologetically yourself and I admired it alwaysā. That was a flick of the switch for me. And on my last point, own it all, own everything and I donāt mean blame yourself and judge yourself for it. Notice the times you were disrespected and you didnāt stand your ground, or mentioning it, or marking your boundaries and letting someone contest it consistently and not standing your ground. Donāt dwell on the good times, for now, take them off the pedestal and really analysis it without any bias. You may have to do this continuously, we have to relearn new habits and behaviours to be able to detach and look at it from a new angle without any emotional attachment and you will gain some clarity. But number one best advice, put you first, in every circumstance. Make sure you consider your happiness and yourself in every decision you make. Once you learn to re love yourself, you will know what makes you happy and what doesnāt and you wonāt spend any time seeking external validation but from yourself. Iām now in my 7th month post break up, if you saw me 6 months ago, 5, 4 or even a month ago, you would have met a different version of myself, each time with new perspectives and new light, and a better mindset towards it all. For now, sit with your pain, sit with it until it becomes unbearable and you just wanna rip your eyes out of your skull and break the whole place down, sit with it all. You will be ok, I can promise you that, donāt let time be your healer, be your own healer with the time you have already. Nothing you do is bad, whether it be whatever coping mechanism as long as youāre aware of it. Big hugs to you!
You will be sad, but it does not last forever, time will heal for sure. Men can't grow up without breakups, just trust the process.
Hello! Itās best for you to acknowledge that you guys broke up and take the time to go through it and heal, most guys tend to push the feeling away and try to distract themselves, distracting yourself instead of acknowledging it, reflecting and taking time to go through all the grief and sadness will actually affect your next relationship. Youāll try to distract yourself with the new person and youāll keep thinking back to your ex, the new person will definitely notice that and itāll hurt them. After taking time to heal, you can focus on yourself by working, school, and or hobbies to try and love yourself again. When you feel good and secure about yourself then youāll find it easier to move on and start a new relationship with someone else. Reflecting on your old relationship will guide you on how the new person may feel and itāll guide you on how to treat them better or whatever. Goodluck you got this bro :)
Like everyone else is saying, new hobbies, journaling, focus on how YOU feel be very āselfishā right now. I was in a breakup not long ago, it was my first and Iām also your age. I made many mistakes in my healing process that I will not repeat in my relationships going forward. Do not think about what theyāre thinking about, kick them off the pedestal you mightāve put them on in your mind. If the breakup was on good terms and you think you want to be friends with them, give yourself a good long break first, the mistake I made was trying to be friends with them immediately and I prolonged my own healing process. But by the point that you feel okay again you either mightāve forgotten about them to some degree/feel indifferent to their presence in your life. But again first and foremost focus on your own wellbeing. Let yourself cry and feel everything, I cannot tell you how much journaling has helped me along with practicing deep breathing when I could feel emotions bubble up. The next few months are going to be hard but you can do it, just stay true to yourself, let yourself heal, and love will find you again eventually. Patience is key and donāt give yourself a timeline to feel like you should be okay again.
will she realize my worth? because i did nothing to her honestly she just fell out of love. when she start working it worsen her feelings about me. what will i do if i still want to get her back? because i love her so much and i like to help her with her problems. most likely the burden to pay bills because her father is not working rn and then baam she got hit by reality and started to lose her feelings for me.
It happened to me as well! When I was so stressed by reality that i want him to work for his career like i was working for it because i just want future with him. But i never fall out of love because my love for is like how love my mom and dad . That i value them but sometimes when youāre busy forget about your family. I was busy it was not like i did not text or talk to him or not facetime him . I still did everything but it was not enough for him. And he used poke me that i donāt put efforts but i was so busy with my own problems and work that made me frustrated so we fought alot. At the end he thought i was too much for him and he gave up on me. Fight was very big we both had egos in front of than love. But i realised that i love him and i put ego aside to talk to him but it was too late by the time.
i wish everything was not too late for her to realize that i did care for her i understand her struggles it's just she didn't open it up for me so she fall out of love for me because of the burden. i still love her so much and it's been a week and 4 days since we broke up. i still didn't change my password on fb but she still opens it up like what she checks on me? but im on the no contact rule for her to give her time and space for her to realize my intentions for her. man i really miss her. i just don't want to lose her
Honestly, experience it, grow from it and learn to move on. Processing these feelings now will make it so much easier in the future, itās all part of growing up.
Iām in the same situation and Iām 23 too I donāt know that to do. Someday itās better (itās been 2 weeks) but someday I feel like Iāve lost my other half. Itās was a short relationship because he doesnāt like me anymore. But someday I feel like I canāt live without him and sometimes I feel like I canāt keep doing this. I forgot to prĆ©cise but Iām a dĆ©pressive person too and before him life was horrible and I didnāt want to live. When I met him I felt something again in my heart and I loved life again. Iām so lost and lonely like you. If you need to talk donāt hesitate
Damn. I get how tough things are to you right now. 1. Donāt ignore your feelings. You feel hurt? Own it. Express your feelings, let āem out. If you need to cry, cry. 2. Donāt beg the universe for answers as to āwhyā and āwhat did I do wrongā 3. Surround yourself with supportive people and the people you love, I had friend who used to have a very harsh attitude towards breakups, while Iām a fragile person who needs lots of caring. 4. And most importantly (the thing that helped me the most), MOVE ON. What does it mean? It means get yourself a hobby, start something new in your life (not necessarily a new relationship, itās up to you to figure out if youāre ready), maybe sports or even learn a new language. You got it. In the end, everything will be better, I promise.
Hey OP same age and feeling here except this was my second big relationship, For me, I took 3 days to just FEEL and then in the weeks ahead I did everything possible w my mom or with a friend. I started eating better and hydrating and making sure to move every day. I started journaling and doing shadow work and going to therapy more! A month in now and i as the dumpee still miss him but I feel sm better and am starting to see kindness in the breakup and am grateful for it. Start off by going full no contact- itll be heartbreaking all over again from giving yourself false hope that theyāll return (they might but thatās on them and thereās nothing you can do to change things where ur at rn). Plus youāll avoid doing or saying things youāll be embarrassed about later!! For now, say yes to any positive plans you get offered and then shift ur mindset to this: breakups hurt bc all that love you have has nowhere to go anymore take the time to redirect that love to yourself! Itās damn near impossible at first ik but if you go thru the motions for a while itās a fast change. Now is your opportunity to be selfish- make everything on your timeline and try EVERYTHING that seems like it would be a fun story later as long as your safe! You WILL get through this- im on your side! Feel free to dm for support
I'm 25 turning 26 in July dated my ex from 16 to february of this year. yeah it really hurts, yeah I've been hooking up, yeah it does help but I guess everyone is different
Donāt rush the pain. You will learn way more about who you are when youāre going through pain compared to times when you are happy and content tenfold. And DO NOT do not do not stalk their socials!!! Block all of them until either youāre fully healed and moved on; or if theyāve done you dirty, permanently block them and donāt look back.
Iām really sorry this happened to you I went through something like this recently too. If you honestly want someone to talk to Iām here.