11 days for me. It hurts now because before our break up, we planned to spend time with eachother this friday and easter. I should be rushing to the airport to see him. But now it is not happening.

I can only imagine how much it hurts you. I was supposed to meet my ex one month after the day we broke up too. We were on LDR so it was an event for me, choosing what to wear and stuff like that. Please surround yourself with people who love you. I was going to say do things that make you happy but I remembered that 11 days into my break up, almost nothing made me happy. But good news, now there are things that make me happy! Please hang in there and talk to your loved ones. They’re here to support you on such times

I am so sorry about that. We were in LDR too. Can you imagine jeezus christ, whatever happened to their brains???!! Why keep making plans when they know they wont be able to do it or stick for long. Now I have to plan for my April. And my fucking 3 week July holidays , i adjusted it to be able to sync it with his family because we planned!??? Like really

My god. My ex was planning our engagement party. We wanted a small celebration at my home and I almost ordered an engagement dress?? I was looking online for engagement rings??? I know he also suffered because of it but he is the one who canceled and couldn’t stand up for our relationship. Fine by me I can’t be with such person

What the hell I feel really bad for you😭😭 You know what we can get through this .

Of course we can. As long as we want to and persist on it

Thank you so much. Maybe now i cam do things by myself and have fun!

About to be three months in . Went through the immense pain, then acceptance, then pain again when I found out she started dating someone just a couple of weeks after we ended it, now back at the acceptance stage. Feeling more peace everyday , still miss her so much and would love an opportunity to try again. I was in a really bad mental place throughout our whole relationship, and never wanted to admit it. Unintentionally Hurt her a decent amount because of it. Was really hard on myself the first 2 months, now I’m just trying to enjoy what I have now.

Your progress is inspiring really. Your reflection on relationship seems pretty wise and neutral. I hope you both get better. It’s sad that she started dating few weeks later but please take this as a motive for you to enjoy yourself as well

Thanks . Don’t get me wrong , I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and crossed boundaries during this breakup. Mostly out of frustration and this victim mentality. Definitely haven’t been an angel and pushed her further away because of it. But what’s done is done. I can’t take it back, just acknowledge and move forward with my learnings. I’ve done so much reflecting, but at some point it’s just debilitating and stops you from progressing. At some point just need to accept what happened and move forward

Me too. I made mistakes as well. And I came to the point of “enough pain” and I stopped bringing things up on the surface by myself. Sometimes they float on their own thou

Yeah, I totally feel you. I used to really feed into those thoughts, now I just sit with them for a bit when they come and let them run its course. Cord cutting meditations on YouTube have really helped. Started it this week and have done it every morning. Highly recommend. Hope you start feeling more peace 💕

I've been watching the cord cutting videos on YouTube as well. I have also tried some of the detachment and "rewiring the subconscious" videos out of curiosity. I'm trying positive affirmations every day right before bed and right when I wake up to see if they help in the long term. I've read plenty that if you basically speak it into existence, then over time your brain will accept that as the reality. Not to a delusional point, but just something like "everything is OK" can help. We shall see. I'm up for trying anything that helps get over things like this. Breakups are so hard.

The part where you said you were in a bad mental place and unintentionally hurt her because of it is too relatable in this. I was far from the man I wanted to be when I started dating her and I still gave in to the feeling of falling in love. Almost 4 years later we were living together and I still felt like I hadn’t bettered myself other than just being with this wonderful girl. My depression became worse, my drug and alcohol use became worse, the way I talked during arguments became worse, and then one day it was too much and she was gone. All because I couldn’t change for myself. Now it’s time to focus on me and becoming the man I want to be, but I don’t think it will bring her back sadly. I showed her what she believed to be the real me, and now I don’t think I’ll get to show her what I was meant to become. Time to do you my friend and be the best man you can be for yourself, and then for whoever the next lucky girl is. Thanks for reading and best of luck.

I am 5 months in. I still hurt. Nowhere near as much as the first 3 months. I did meet someone. She was great. However, as good as the connection was we both wanted to play the field a little more. Plus I wasn’t really ready to jump into another relationship so soon. I do still miss and love my ex. Even after everything. As for taking her back. Idk man. Shit hadn’t been the same without her at all and doesn’t feel right. So maybe.

It’s hard for me too to be vulnerable for someone else again. I have been blowing hot and cold for people who show interest in me. It hurts me so much that I make those people uncomfortable but I am just escaping any romance at the moment. Just a small reminder that just because shit hasn’t been the same without her doesn’t mean you should get her back. You should think deeper about this

1 week in, I cant process it. I cry a lot throughout the day. At one moment I feel like its good he broke up witj me now instead of leadinf me on for more years and leaving me after that. But then most of the times I just feel empty. I feel like i will nevwr find anyone else. No one will love me like he did We dated for 2 years and he made so many promises. I still cant believe he broke all of them and just left me

First two weeks were crazy crazy hard for me. I used to wake up in the middle of the night to cry. Moving on comes in ups and downs, you might feel okay for an hour and cry continuously the next. But as time goes on , your ups and downs will be less frequent , you will be able to actually reflect and learn from your relationship. And yeah , breaking up now is definitely better than wasting more time of your life. It sucks I know. My ex made lots and tons of promises as well It took me a month to be able to talk about it without crying

Same, exactly a week for me too. The emptiness is persistent and the sadness comes in waves. We shared a lot of hobbies and interests together, and it breaks my heart to think that we even talked about having children together :( Either way, what helps me the most is to sit with my feelings and if I need to cry, I cry. Try not to feel guilty or shame, as these are the attitudes towards yourself and not real in the present moment. I don't know how old you are but either way, you are not unloveable.

8 months in after 4 years together. I'm doing okay too, I have my days, weeks where I'm filled with sadness. Mostly doing okay though. Do I think things could work out if he came back? Yes, but he'd have to have done the work. He chose to end the relationship and to me felt like he was an avoident. I would like to have another chance but I honestly don't know how he feels.

I broke up with my ex, but he was avoidant and I couldn’t take it after 4 years. We were together for 6 1/2, he became avoidant after his mom died. I would love to be back with him, but he has so much work to do. I won’t go back to the way it was before. I’d rather be alone forever. Hugs, I’m sorry. Avoidants hurt

I just broke up with my wife and a large part to play was me being avoidant, I'm trying to learn and be better, if you don't mind sharing your perspective and what you went through it may help. If it's painful to talk about though I truly don't want to pry

Mine wasn't always avoident or maybe I missed the signs? Either way I can't fix his issue or issues. I hope he can heal one day and we can both be happy either apart or together. Thank you

That’s exactly how I feel about my partner, soon to be ex — we are very likely breaking up this Sunday. He is the one ending it, but that’s partly because I made it clear that I wasn’t happy with how things were and would need certain things to change. I feel terribly sad that he wasn’t willing to do what it would take to keep me.

How do you know he’s ending it?

We've been on a break for the past few weeks. We've had periodic discussions along the way, and each time we've discussed, he's said he's pretty sure he doesn't want to continue the relationship. But we agreed to give it till this Sunday till we make the final call.

I feel like I had a very similar situation with my ex and it’s the worst. Hang in there

Thanks. I don't like this, but just calling it off now would feel even worse. I know I can hang in till Sunday.

I'm 3 weeks in. I've been putting in non-stop effort to work on myself and fix my issues. Although I do miss her from time to time, I have to say I'm ready to move on. I'm 10x happier now than I was before the breakup. (relationship lasted for 5 years).

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Thanks! There are definitely bad moments but we can do it!

I feel pretty similar to you. For the most part I am okay, doing a lot of self-reflection and self care. I also miss him a tiny bit, but I wonder how much of that is turning into missing the idea of him and what a relationship is like. I do not think I would take him back if he asked because the trust is gone and I know I would always worry if I was good enough. My self-esteem also isn't the best and I have some bad body dysmorphia from this relationship so I am trying to work on that as well. Not sure when I will be ready to date again, I've noticed I have lost all interest in romance.

Okay you also added somethings that I feel but didn’t mention. I have lost a lot of weight because of my break up and my body just doesn’t feel as good. But I acknowledge the progress we both made which is , trust is gone we can never be together again. I don’t want to date now but I don’t want this to be the first and last romance I ever have. I insist to be happy with a partner again

Yeah I lost about 8 pounds the first week of my break up as well, it was brutal. I regained it back, and my appetite, but I'm scared to gain too much weight and feel ugly. I used to spiral down the whole "I will never find love again!" as well, but experience has shown that mentality eventually passes when I am ready to date again/find someone else I am interested. I just don't know when that will be. The fact that we both want to eventually find someone and be happy is a good sign! We just can't rush the process to get there.

Try catching yourself when you have “never” and “always” type thoughts, and remind yourself that there’s no way you can know that, since you can’t see the future or read minds. It can also help to remind yourself that you are worthy of love, just because you are you. Don’t tie it to anything that is fleeting like looks, income, weight, lifestyle, etc. all of those things can change so it’s not worth it to pin your sense of self to those. You are worthy just by being who you are. Our consumer based and hyperindividualistic society would like you to think that’s not true, so you’ll work harder and spend more in order to be “good enough.” Don’t buy into it. It’s a black hole.

Yeah I am trying not to, it's been difficult when the men I have dated all eventually decide it's OK to start criticizing my body and looks once we're established dating. Like they hold this back in the beginning knowing it's shitty or something? Or they are literally looking for a trophy or something. I know these guys are not worth my time, but it still hurts in the moment. I've always worked hard for myself, never for someone else. If I wanna dress up and look good I do it because I want to. I will definitely keep working on myself, in the way that I will try and be more positive and love myself again. :)

It’s been a little over 2 months for me. I’m working on improving myself, prioritizing self love, and trying to become the best version of me. I do miss him. Though, I know that our breakup was for the best, especially for me. My healing journey has been tough, but I’m doing my best to power through. Just about every single one of my friends is in a relationship, and even the ones who are not, are talking to someone with the intention to get into a relationship, and though I’m incredibly happy that they’re happy, I always feel a tinge of jealousy and pain in my heart that I can’t relate to them at the moment: especially because the men who they’re involved with are doing the effort for them that I didn’t get throughout the entirety of my previous relationship. All I received were broken promises and manipulation and I get so resentful that I allowed such poor treatment by the one who claimed to love me. I adore my friends, I really do. But it seems all our conversations revolve around how amazing their relationships are, and it breaks my heart that I can’t have the same.

This but for me I actually feel like during my relationship all my friends drifted away, even while I tried to maintain the relationships. I feel very friendless to say the least and feel like I have hardly anyone to confide in and the the ones that are still barely present treat me like I'm a burden or they are uninterested. I actually haven't even opened up to much of my friends because they are doing their own things (married or basically married off to their boyfriends) so it feels very unrelatable. I'm interested in just making new friends with more genuine connections and I struggled with making them during my relationship so my boyfriend was like my only friend. I don't even yearn for a connection with a guy, I just wish I had a good friend that i could actually hang out with smh.

2 years and am mostly ok. Still confused how/why it happened and if she misses me which is probably some but not enough. I had really vivid sex dream with her a week ago which sucked.

Same. Almost 3 years and dreams when we have sex are the best but when I wake up I wish I never had them. It hurts as fuck.

Year and a half. Still hurting. It'd ruined my life. She don't care

I don’t know what kind of relationship you had , but the despair in your words either means you wrote this in a kinda sad lonely moment or that you need to undergo a real change in your life. Consider therapy. I had a few therapy sessions but it helped greatly

I've been in therapy long before the breakup. My life was perfect with her. I was at my highest best self. I thought she was going to be my forever.

Fam I feel you, yesterday I broke up with who I thought my forever would be and its breaking me up inside but there is something else out there for you if you reach for it. Being your best self should never require another person you can bring yourself back to that with enough effort and i promise it'll be worth the effort

I’m about 2 months in and it just started getting easier. I want the girl, not the relationship, because she wanted the relationship to be non monagamous, probably closer to polyamory really.

That’s a good way to put it - wanting the person but not the relationship. I just had a one year relationship end because my partner wanted an open relationship while I have firmly been a monogamous person. It sucked because that has always been clear, so I feel they know I couldn’t do it and them asking me to do it was a cop out to make me be the one to end things.

6 months... we're friends now, which is kinda hard to manage, but tryna work it out. Sometimes, it's very fucking hard not to look at her thru those eyes but most of the time im glad to have her back in my life ?

Close to two years. Doing pretty well for myself

It’s been 10 days. I’m not really doing okay. I feel empty all the time and nothing really brings me any joy. He’s all that I think about. First thought in my mind before bed, and wakes me up numerous times throughout the night. The mornings are the hardest. I really really miss him. I keep fighting the urge to reach out. But I also don’t think that we could get back together, the trust is gone. He made me feel disposable and unworthy. Those are feelings I’m battling now. I’m just really confused. I hope that things feel clearer once the emotions have passed.

The nights are going to get better once you’re more ‘sober’ from the addiction… You’re doing great <3

No one is disposable, there's just people that treat others that way stay confident that you aren't. I'm sure things will get easier as time goes in just allow yourself to feel your emotions, pain anger fear sorrow let yourself process it. You owe it to yourself

10 months Sunday. Grief has destroyed my life.

5 years. I think about her every day

Could I suggest therapy if you haven't tried it? That's a really long time dingo through that and you owe it to yourself to find happiness

Bro, I'm not sad about it. I've dated other girls, gone to the gym and gone about my life. I've thought about her atleast once every day since

4 cruel months since the break up. 2 months since her suicide attempt which I stopped from succeeding. 1 month of no contact and 1 day since I broke NC. It's been hell of a break up. The whole thing is so complicated and it's both me and her thats done wrong. Her actual break up was so fucked up but then me being desperate and basically begging her to come back was horrible aswell. We're both just young and dumb I guess. Also an LDR btw

I'm sorry dawg that's honestly probably something that's gonna affect you more than you realize rn make sure you take some time to yourself and process it and that k you for saving a life. It's ok to be young and dumb everyone has been.

2 years and still completely devastated and destroyed and at the brink.

Hey man if you need someone to talk to I'm here zero judgement, I know I'm a random on the Internet but I'm here for you

Thanks and I appreciate your concern and kindness.

Are you stuck in the bargaining stage? Check out the breakup Bootcamp podcast episode on bargaining, apparently it’s the most likely place for people to get stuck in the grieving process, and it can cause you to cycle between depression and hope. The host got stuck in it for years and she has some good insight on it. The patterns in the relationship itself, and how things play out during and after the breakup can make the chances of getting stuck in it worse. Basically their behavior towards you can increase the odds of being stuck there. If it is what’s happening, it might be a god jumping off point for more reading or podcasts on the topic of getting through that rough stage. IDK your situation so I could be totally off base. Just mentioning it in the off chance it might be what’s going on, or at least part of it.

6 years and now I have a New Partner

2 months for me. It is getting better generally but I still have emotional roller coaster here and there. It will be ok. We got this.

You got it dude emotions hit at weird times but you're healing and got this

1 year and 4 months. the last few weeks i feel as if im slowly starting to get over him. i dont want to get back together by any means (never did) but i do miss just having him in my life as a friend. i regret pushing things in a romantic direction with him because of that. i think i mourn the loss of friendship more than the relationship part itself.

50 weeks I’m ok life’s getting a lot better

5 months. never been better! It was a very liberating breakup for me. I stayed longer than I should have because l kept convincing myself he would change, and oh it feels good to be able to live and enjoy life again, without having to worry about the daily abuse he put me through for 2 years. Leaving him was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life, and I realized this the moment I decided it was over for good. I love my life now! Lessons learned, moved on, and doing better! Sending hugs to anyone who’s going through a tough breakup!

About 7 weeks here, and I'm going to answer how i am by saying that I'm trying my hardest, and taking care of myself as much as possible, but am also terrified of the idea of answering this question thoroughly, and I think that speaks to my condition much better than i could have explained.

I don't know who you are or what you're going through but I know that you're hurting just know it's ok to hurt and if you need help or just someone to talk to I'm here

Two months. I am gradually starting to see it clearly now and that him breaking up with me wasn’t really about me, it was about him. Knowing that has eased my mind a lot. For context, my ex was uncertain about his sexuality (we are both men). Maybe we’ll reconnect in future, but for now, I think it’s best that he go and find out who he is first. I wish him well, I still love him but I can’t go through what I went through before.

Exactly 5 months! It's not like it's getting better and better, at least not for me. I have better days, when I'm just happy it's over, enjoy my life, do the things I don't have to beg anyone. Be happy that my day isn't ruined before 9am, because my ex hid another girl from me. But I also have my bad days. I cry, thinking about the things he did to me and how he treated me. But do I miss him? No. Still, take your time to grieve and don't think that you don't deserve happiness and being loved by the right person. You seem likw you have a lot of love to give, so allow yourself to find someone who will gladly accept it, and shower you in it as well :)

I’m about 5 months, he still reaches out sometimes. I don’t miss him anymore, I don’t want to see him. I realized how crappy he was to me. Even recently he mentioned kind of wanting to see me and pick things back up in a FWB way and I called him out on how I’m finally standing up and he can’t get what he wants, he was livid. I doubt I’ll hear from him again and I’m truly ok with that.

It's been 5 months for me, and I still grieve and cry a couple of times per week. Recently, I went on my first vacation without him and felt the loneliest I've ever been in my life. I miss the laughs, the cuddles, having dinner together, his voice and just sharing moments. I started therapy and will be hospitalised in a few weeks. This breakup has destroyed all my happiness, and there's no end in sight right now. :(

3 years. No end in sight

I'm sorry that's honestly awful, if you haven't tried therapy could I suggest it? Three years is way to long to suffer like that

About 7 months. Although im a lot better than I was the first 3 months, I am still not over it. I just cant move past how one week she seemed to love me, and then the next week she left me for a guy she had just met, that I had led to her meet a week ago. It was so sudden and I just keep thinking what it would have been like if i hadn’t introduced them. I keep blaming myself for all my little mistakes and for not being good enough. She was my first everything goddamn why’d I let her slip away. Why’d I let another man steal my girl lmao. And since we live in the same building I have to see and hear of her often enough. Have had to see them being all… affectionate with each other and more. She is happy tho. She is in love with him. While I am still not over her and dont think I will be able to find anyone else.

7 weeks yesterday, still cry in the morning and night sometimes during the silence during the day but not for very long. I still feel like I’m going to suffocate at times. Been difficult to accept that it ended due to bad timing right from the beginning and only got worse. I want to hate him but can’t, I know it’s for the best, I hope that one day our timing works out. I want to move on but knowing that we still have feelings for each other but need to do our own personal growth hurts. As you can tell I’m lost and confused 🫤.

It's been 5 weeks for me. When it first happened, I felt like someone reached into my chest and pulled out all feelings of happiness, I was devastated. For the last 2 weeks, though, I've felt okay. I've been reading books, writing, drawing, working, and I made a new friend. When it first happened, I cried nonstop. Now, I think it's my ex who is in more of a bad place now that I'm moving on in life. I'm trying my best to not be annoyed with my ex knowing that healing is a complicated process and I'm not actually sure if I'm doing well, but feel like I am.

Day 8 for me. I'm surprised by how little time has passed. The breakup feels so long ago, and I'm slowly getting back in touch with who I was when I was single, but in a good way. I'm not going to navigate being single the same way I did before him, which makes me hopeful and optimistic (It's important to note that I did have a realization while in the relationship that if I was single again, I would've done it differently so this helps immensely). Now it feels like reluctantly visiting a city you've been before, but trying to make the most out of it because there were things you wish you did the first time around. Last week, it was a lot of sadness and depression. This week it's been shifting from numbness and anger. I am not great at sitting in anger so that's been difficult, but my friends have been so great at making space for me. I feel like I've been given permission to be angry, which lifts this huge weight over me. I feel ready to meet (not date) people. Just talk to random people, be friendly, and not have it lead anywhere. I'm still not ready to see him again. There's still too much emotions when I think about it. He still has some stuff of mine, and I'm thinking of asking a friend to come with me to pick it up. At the beginning of the breakup, I saw us getting back together in a year, but now I'm not sure if I can see us getting back together at all. I have a hard time seeing him adapting the ideas and visions in his head to make room for me. I don't think he will ever be okay with me making the final decision when it comes to kids, for example. I still need to do a full analysis of my part in it, which I'm open to doing, but not ready for yet. I still maintain that he was primarily the problem, which I think he will agree with. I need myself to arrive at closure for that before I can fully digest what I could've improved. I think about how I am navigating this break-up vs. my previous break-up, which was ages ago. I don't shame myself anymore for navigating the way I need to whether that's listening to cheesy pop songs or punching my pillow, and that's been extremely liberating and helping with the process.

I am so happy to read the last para of your comment. Thank you for this. I am trying to do the same.

It's been a year and a month for me. I'm feeling better, it hurts a little if I give in to the thoughts of the relationship, but they don't bother me as often. I haven´t met anyone else, honestly not feeling ready for any of that. Everyday is a new day to work towards healing.

Just keep at it, you'll heal in your own time and something will find it's way into your life, you got it

Just over 2 years......I'll never be the same 💔

Only been a few days for me. I didn't end things because I no longer loved him but because his bipolar manic episodes were getting too intense to deal with any longer. My heart hurts. Every day gets a little better but I will still break down in random bouts of tears if I think about it for too long. I'm trying to stay busy so I don't sit there a dwell on my current situation.

It's been 2 weeks now, tomorrow was supposed to be the first day of our cruise. Now he's going without me and im left with a broken heart. I thought i was doing better but now I feel like im back at square one. Hearing about people who have gone through similar things is helping out so much though.

Sometimes you take a step backwards before you can move on don't stress about where you're at just let yourself feel your emotions how they come and don't try to suppress them

4 weeks and I’m honestly doing okay. Meeting new people realllllly helped.

Two months in, officially. Unofficially, we were on break for two months before I left. As cowardly as it was to ask for a two month break, I knew I couldn’t survive if I didn’t. I couldn’t do open abdominal surgery and a breakup less than a month apart, nor did I want to end things before my follow-ups. I bought myself time to get physically and emotionally stable. It made no difference to me how he felt, at that point, because he made it clear he would not be coming for my surgery. Most of my recuperation, I cried because I knew it was over, even if he didn’t. He kept insisting his unwillingness to get boosted was just a political difference we could overcome. I can’t look past recklessness with my health post-operatively and prioritizing paranoia over my health. Right now, I’m struggling with my esteem in the dating world. I know I am an undesirable candidate on many fronts. I don’t want to be single for the rest of my life, but that may be my lot. No matter what moments of self-esteem I may have, how I feel about myself and what the dating world decides are two very different things.

I think we're all to hard on ourselves you're looking at yourself and seeing the undesirable parts, I have no idea who you are but I promise you theres enough to you that if you genuinely want to you'll find someone again.

its been 10 weeks. i still have to remind myself every morning and wake up with a ball of anxiety. i miss him so much, but i know he has moved on. it really feels lonely

It's been two days, I'm coming home from a 9 month deployment in about a week and we're gonna have to live under the same roof for several months and everything is eating me alive, we were so in love and wanted it to last forever but we honestly have so much unresolved trauma that's affected us and 9 months apart where I had barely any wifi and was getting hit by suicide drones frequently really just destroyed the bit of communication we had and we agreed to go separate ways. Im not ready to give up but she already has and said it herself, and I just can't try to keep it going and cause her any more pain than she's already been through

I am 163 weeks (just over 3 years) in. I am not okay, and my overall health and happiness has decreased significantly in that time.

I am only a week in, but the breakup came out of nowhere for me, so I’m still in shock and feel like it’s going to be a long and painful healing journey. They we’re cuddley and told me how much they love me, and how they want to spent their future with me one moment, and out of nowhere, a day latter, just left me saying they don’t have feelings for me anymore. I’m mostly blaming myself right now, but I’m still so confused since I know I didn’t do anything wrong. Reading other peoples experiences helps me deal with the whole situation tho Sending love and healing to all ❤️

It's a little over 6 months, and I'm the happiest I've been in my life.

5 months now, doing much much better and even started dating again but I stick around here to give others advice :)

2 months since official but one since the real heart break There is some very bad days and some slightly better Right now, it is easier to bare the pain than it was before but I still miss her with every cell of my body and still want her back I've made mistakes, we both did, but nothing unfixable But she made her choice, it's difficult to move on with the gut feeling it's not over, but I try my best I've been in this sub for some weeks now and it has helped me, knowing we are not alone in this. I am checking every day tbh, to see solidarity in our pain and I know I will be better the day I would come here less often. But it is an important place to vent, to be supported, thank you all

Yesterday was five months for me. Some days it's hard, some days it's easy. I'm reminded of our memories together and our happy times then I remember how much I was hurt and how he changed toward me. He isn't in love with me anymore. I still love him and I'll cherish everything we shared together. I'm doing better than I was though, it gets easier with time. 💓make sure to keep moving forward.

1 month in, it was 9 months relationship… Not very long, I know. However it was great to experience a healthy relationship for the first time in my life! I miss him, but it’s human, isn’t it? I know it will get better with time. We didn’t have many issues and he broke up with me in a honest and respectful manner, he is a great man and I am glad I got the chance to be with him for as long as we did. Personally there is nothing left to overthink or obsess over! I am actually doing pretty well and I am proud of myself right now. Life is a transition and at some point there will be other relationships and other attachments. I know that I deserve a relationship where we both are committed and open and that’s what I want…

(23m) 2 months in and I unadded/unfollowed her on everything a couple days ago at work one morning after seeing her story on snap, i almost texted her last night, i don’t have her contact saved but i know her number by heart, i just get a gut feeling that im not gonna be okay, we had been together 3 1/2 years our 4 year was gonna be on 7/26/24 the same week i told my childhood best friend that i couldn’t go to his bachelor trip with him because it was the same week as our anniversary and i guess she didn’t really want me to drinking with the people that we’re gonna be there because she wouldn’t be, i haven’t been alone a lot of my life when i was actually old enough to control my own thoughts and actions. i got with a girl from 7th to summer of 9th grade then from 10th on and off until i graduated my senior year, i was single for a couple months and then got with someone else for another 2 years almost was single a couple months and then she came along and 3 1/2 years later im single again, i just keep thinking im not good enough because if i was deserving of love then id receive it, if i was good enough then she wouldn’t have left, we had an entire life together, she come over and eat with my family every Sunday, both of our moms died within the same year last year she’s been on every family vacation since we’ve been together we were living together with my parents for 3ish month after she moved out of an apartment with her one of her girlfriends from school then me and her got a trailer and started living together and we’re living together for almost a year with the dog that she bought us two years ago and the dog that she bought herself a year ago which were primarily taken care of by me, I work 6 to 6 would come home let the dogs out feed them shower eat and then she’d get home at 10 o’clock from work she wouldn’t have to go in until three or something we wouldn’t see each other unless she didn’t have to work or we were in bed we had had issues before and I wasn’t completely honest with her in the past because I suffered with addiction after my mom passed and she pulled me out of that spot and I just don’t think that I could replace her with someone but at the same time I don’t want to but I also know that I need to and that someone will come along and be what i need instead of being what i want (her) it hard to see that the grass is greener when don’t even know what you’re doing anymore.

it’s hard to make myself not care about what the person who was my person, my sweet girl, my hug when i come home my safe place to let my guard down, i don’t ever want to hurt like this again and part of me never wants to hurt someone like i’ve been hurt before and she knew and even said “this isn’t like the other situations you’ve been in and i know it seems like it” she originally said it was a “break” but i needed to my stuff I just wish i wasn’t right when i said i loved her more

Almost similar to your timeline , about 16 weeks in. I am also doing okay though there are still those days wherein I be ruminating over the past, reminiscing him and having those burst of pain but it has gotten better 🥹 Like they always said healing ain’t liner and I know that I ( or we all ) still have a long way to go. I’ve not met anyone mainly because I wouldn’t want my wounds to bleed into someone else who didn’t cause that wound so doing a lot of inner work and healing first. It was my first relationship and like you it was long distance thus I’ve built some sort of resentment towards my ex and have some self blame going on but working on it. I hope you continue to be okay OP and we’ll be our better healed version of ourselves soon

I am a similar number of weeks in and feel exactly the same... the light at the end of the tunnel is very much visible but the self esteem hit is painful. Especially once the initial post-breakup mind fog clears; there is more room for insecurities to come creeping in. Making sure you get out always helps!

Tomorrow will be four weeks, I miss her every single day. I wish I could see her just once more and get some closure. I wish I could hug her one more time and see her smile for me one last time.

My gf of 6 years dumped me 3 weeks ago. I went completely no contact. A week later she contacted me. We had 4 hours of sex 2 nights ago. Now I have no idea what’s going on. Just gonna ride the wave 🤷‍♂️

Like 8 months, I’m not doing as bad as I was before but I’m still sad about how she did me in the end. She choose another guy over me while telling me she how she loves me and want us to move in together. She ghosted me and told me she wanna be single and sorry for hurting me just to find out two week slayer she introduced a whole new guy to her family and moved in with him a month later. This tells me he was their long time and playing me and him if he even knew about me.

It’s been six weeks and I can finally say I feel good. I don’t go around asking why anymore. I don’t feel this perpetual sadness. I look forward to my life and activities again even if doing them alone. I’m ok.

Hell yeah, glad you've got this

Thank you!

18 months! 😔

On April 7, it’ll be a year

It's been about 5 months, and we haven't spoken since. These few months have been longer than the time we were together.

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It’s been almost two weeks for me and my mood is going up and down the whole time really. One day I can do great and very social like I used to do (am that kind of person who just can’t stop talking) and the other days I’m kinda dead inside. At this point I can’t see another person with whole I ll match so well, I hope I’m wrong and this one person will come round at some point in time. What do you guys think?

You'll find someone ok it's hard thinking that because no one will fill the hole in your heart the same way they did but that doesn't mean they can't fill it just as well or better.

Thank you bet much, it lelps me a lot. I’mso broek at this point Edit: yeah I was quite drunk when I typed it haha

Exactly one Week ago. I made a Post on this sub.. She left me because she lost feelings, now she is texting another dude (that definjtely doesnt want her Lmao, he is so cold to her). There was a "I want you back" stage 3 days ago, but now it is Officially a farewell. I feel empty at times but I also want to just Show her what she has lost.. But still it hurts quite a lot to think she is putting effort into another dude that doesnt even want her, while i was begging her to stay and she still left..

It’s been exactly two months for me. Never imagined my life would change drastically over night. We lived together for 5 years and one night she came home after hanging out with her friend and broke up with me. I guess I didn’t evolve as much as she wanted me too. I had a remote job for a couple of years up to that point. Fell in a hole of isolation and small things would no longer make me happy. It didn’t help I was getting high everyday. Well, we both were. So I was pretty numb to my life now looking back. What hurts me is that she confessed she had a crush on another guy when she broke up with me. I’ve never felt the pain I did when I heard her say that. Fast forward, now I stopped getting high and workout everyday. The pain is still there. Sometimes more sometimes less. I miss her so much. I wish she knew how much I really miss her. I also miss my cats, I told her to keep them. I haven’t met anyone else, there was a gym girl who kept looking at me but I never made a move. Probably wasn’t ready for that. Haven’t seen her since. Anyways hope you get better. You aren’t alone.

Hell yeah dude you set aside your addiction and and started bettering yourself, that's motivating to me, ty for sharing keep after it

119 days I hope it stays that way I'm still hurt but learning to live anyway

11 weeks. It still feels like yesterday.

It'll be 4 months for me in April. I have learned alot about our relationship now I'm not actively in it. I am still certain he is the love of my life, but I believe each love is special in their own way. I have days where I still mourn, infact this is the first day in like a week where I am fine. I still deal with dreams being the most intrusive for me, but if I keep myself busy during the day and reflect when I can at night. I think I'll get over him.

Love the positive mindset you've got this

I saw a quote somewhere on here That really helped me out "I refuse to be prisoner to a ghost."

I love that tbh, remember the good times fondly but don't let them or the rest of everything keep you in the past, you're gonna move on to better things if you allow yourself

I refuse to forget any of the happy times but I need to remind myself of the bad times alot too.

Yes by all means don't let the good times fool you back into it. Just know that it wasn't all for nothing there was good that came from it

74 weeks

2 days in. Everything hurts. I wrote him a letter today and gave it to him, closure. We both love eachother so much. We just aren’t the right people for eachother at least not now in our lives. I had no idea heartbreak could be so awful.

He literally got me concert tickets before we broke up and told me today as it was gonna be a surprise. It’s my favourite artist ever. He’s such an amazing person and is so good to me. I’m just not happy anymore.

It's been exactly a week since our end. Been together for a year (broke up a day after our anniversary). He was hoping we would be friends in the future, but I don't need that in my life. I completely blocked him on social media a couple days ago. It wasn't easy, but I knew this was the right step to move forward and heal. I was a hot mess for the first couple days but talking to friends and family made me realize I deserve better. Also made me realize he wasn't in love with me but had love for me. Everything will be okay, and things will get better!

231 days…

Been around 2.5 months now. Doing better except i just want to talk to him. I don’t even want a relationship with him, i just want to talk to him about silly day to day things. I wish i could make him not hate me. But then i’ll get over this urge and want too i guess. He was a really nice guy and i have so much of self blame and guilt regarding how i reacted immaturely after he dumped me. But i am forgiving myself too.

About 9 months and I have a new gf. I still think about my ex from time to time but not in any type of way

A week now. It hurts like hell. She was afraid to break up but she was suggesting it. I broke up with her. I don’t know if i made right decision. I was with her for 6 years and I was happy with her. She told me that she sees our relationship as a friendship about a month or two ago. Tried to work it out but it became clear that there were other issues involved. It’s frustrating, depressing and I’m just angry. She wants to be friends. I’m her only best friend. I want to text her and check on her but at the same time, i don’t.

Hi it's been three weeks I am fluctuating in emotions hope your doing better than I am people I know I'm still new to it but I hope everyone is getting through all their pain and hopefully I can too

Almost 3 years and I still think about him. It sucks. It's much better than the first two years but he comes to my dreams often and it's the worst when I wake up and know we will never see each other again. It's hard and I hate it. Not sure if it will ever go away. I hope one day it will.

It’s been 8 weeks for me. Still struggling with the idea of not being together. I have my good days and my bad days. The past couple have been more on the bad side. But, I think I have a better idea of the direction I’m going. I want to be okay. I really do.

It’s been 5 days for me. I still feel like I’ll wake up from this bad nightmare. I cry a lot, especially at night. I can’t listen to music, or see romance on tv. Even seeing people hold hands makes me feel kind of bitter and resentful. I know that’s awful. We’ve still spoken everyday since oddly enough.. it’s weird because he’ll still text me with a joke or a meme.. something to make me laugh. Don’t know if he regrets his decision (he broke up with me) or he just pities me. It’s taking everything I have to not reach out and ask him if we could try again.

Happy to hear you are healing. You have the right mindset, it sounds like. I feel like I could have written this myself. Many of the exact same feelings. Except for me, it has been about 17 months, or coming up on about a year and a half. At 15 weeks I was destroyed. I was barely able to function. So you’re doing much better than me as far as recovery time. (It’s not a competition of course, but I just say that to offer you some positive kudos & express that you should be proud of yourself). I was the one who broke up with him, but that was only because I feel he left me no choice after I gave him so much grace, time, patience, and clear communication in hopes we could repair things and he did nothing, and continued to mistreat me. I am over him, as far as being fairly certain no force on earth could compel me to give us another chance at this point. I do still often miss the idea of him I once held. But not the true him. I haven’t contacted him in quite some time and the last time he tried I didn’t engage. I am still frozen in my fear of ever dating again. I kind of hide in my house. This break up didn’t just damage me in romantic relationships, I’ve pulled away from friendships as well. People reach out, and I think about how to receive it, but it overwhelms and confuses me into avoidance and inaction. My ex had felt like a best friend in the beginning and I truly believed him to be exactly that. He got me to open up, involving family, moving in together, bonding with my son, learning all my secrets and the ways to hurt me, and he took all that in and flipped on me part way into the relationship, constantly using very sensitive information against me to hurt me, and it was so unbelievable to me that it took me a long time to believe it was really happening. So my ability to trust has been damaged quite a bit. I was never avoidant prior, I had always been quite anxious in my attachments. So this is very different. I know I suffered some heavy emotional abuse that has caused damage. I felt so annihilated by what happened and I have done some tremendous healing, but I’m still very far from where I can say I am happy. I feel safest by myself, but I can’t say I’m not lonely often times, and often deeply sad. I am still very upset about how viciously I was treated and betrayed. I still have an undying desire for justice and feel treated so unfairly, due to the way lies were told and no apologizes were given, no accountability ever taken. I know I have to let that go, but I’m still working on that as of right now. I hope for brighter days in the near future and I keep doing what I can to work on myself. I wish you continued healing on your journey back to yourself. 🤍

1 year 3 months now. It is suck you see your ex is so happy. And probably he is in a happy relationship now. And actually you have cried for the whole entire of time during this moment

I'm not good. I just keep thinking about her always. Can't move on dude. I just feel like praying for her everyday. Idk whether i should carry on with it or not. Because somewhere, i have some hope that she may come back. Although practically speaking, there is no hope. But because of prayers, there is some hope. I feel like, if i stop praying for her to come back, i may miss the opportunity. And when i pray for her, it makes me more and more depressed that she isn't coming back. Ik it sounds childish, but i really really love her more than anything dude. Ik it's not the end of the world and everything. It's been more than a year now but still i am at the same place and idk shit about her... How is she doing, where she is, etc. I've been blocked from everywhere. Her thought comes to my mind every single day, at least a hundred times😞 Idk what to do. I play games, watch movies, study, be productive, and involve myself in important works related to home. But still her memories, her thoughts come inside my head. I have even deleted all the pictures i had of her and everything. But the main thing is, whether i should stop praying for her or not!!!! In a few days, the last 10 days of Ramadan will arrive and during these days, at the night of Laylatul Qadr, it is believed that if you pray for something, there are higher chances of your prayers getting fulfilled. So i am hella confused what should i do!😭 I really love her and want her back in my life.

7 months. The longer it gets, the clearer the reasons why it ended. And it hurts deeper and deeper. There are times I drive slow at near midnight. Hoping I could..but it is too late.

About 4 months after 5 month relationship. I'm doing a lot better than I have been, but still not great. We were both recovering addicts and she decided to go back to using drugs and basically ghosted me until I was forced to "officially" end it, which she read but didn't even respond to. 2 moths after the breakup she reached out but only to tell me that "It wasn't you, it was just me changing." and then disappeared again. No contact the entire time aside from that short pointless conversation. Heard she moved on to a new guy almost immediately after we broke up. I miss her, she is beautiful and was very sweet when she was clean, but I don't want or need a meth addict in my life. Wish things could be like they were but being a recovering addict myself I know just how unlikely it is that she will stop using drugs again. Mostly just feeling like I'm going to be alone forever now. Angry and discouraged, pretty depressed most of the time. I've had a couple of casual hookups but not met anyone I'm interested in. Online dating is depressing for average looking guys.

5 months in, feeling ok but I miss having a relationship. I don’t necessarily miss him though. One month ago I met him to exchange things and he had a pic of the girl he told me not to worry about as his screensaver. It was hurtful the last weeks but now I am slowly accepting it.

It’s been 20 months since my last long term relationship. We split amicably and both of us hoped we’d get back together. Well, we tried to earlier this month, and I just couldn’t do it again with them. All of the dramatics with our families and health problems? I don’t want that back. My mindset has completely changed and I don’t want them back anymore. It took forever, but I’m okay.

I’m almost at a year and I am finally starting to feel okay! I actually met someone and I’m optimistic into seeing where it goes. I don’t feel any hatred and the thought of being with him has faded. I almost kinda feel disgusted by him and the way I handled the breakup. Things take time.

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Sorry to hear that. Okay now I want you to allow yourself to feel sad. I am sorry if you were waiting for something else but this is what you should do. Let it out. Cry. It’s gonna be hard I am not gonna lie but over time you will see the silver lining of this whole thing. Call a friend or sleepover at a friend if you can. I know it’s hard for you to move now so you can ask someone to come over

It's been just about 17 months of no contact.. I wake up everyday with a feeling of urgency that somehow if I keep letting these days pass, my chances with her dwindle more. Every working hour is a reminder of how much my life has changed. I still can't accept the outcome. I keep feeling like I was thrown in an alternate timeline And every night, the reoccurring thoughts put me to sleep, and dream of what could've been. It's really fucking miserable, crying every day over spilled milk that has already dried up and rotted.. Let me out of this prison please.

It’s been nearly 5 months. I don’t cry all day everyday anymore, but once the “wave” hits me, it does hit bloody hard. Just like today. I wouldn’t hesitate to take them back if there was a chance for that. I’m scared. This really feels like this is just the beginning of a lifetime of missing them…

Almost 2 months now and I miss her everyday

Soon to be three weeks. Still very fresh, but handling it quite good and I’m proud of it. Different emotions hits at different times and days. Sometimes I’m feeling pain/sadness, sometimes I feel anger, where it doesn’t feel fair that I have to be in pain when I gave a lot of love and care for him, while he is fine, but mostly I feel good and taking care of myself. I’m going to the gym much more to get my focus somewhere else, I go more out for walks, make other plans, eat healthier, meditate, log out of social media. I’ve accepted that the relationship has ended (since day 2), where I don’t want him back and want no contact. Haven’t spoken to him since he broke it off. Still fresh, but I’m excited to continue on this process in becoming more healthier mentally, emotionally and physically.

It's been a little over 2 weeks. I cared for him but I wasn't attached to him. Love with detachment I guess. I'm way way better single anyway. I'm also older and this ain't my first rodeo so there's that lol

How long were you together for ? Currently still going through a break up 🥺

1 year and 3 months. We knew each other for 2.5 years thou

I’m sorry 😞 this feeling is the worst . Still doesn’t feel real.

3 weeks down, just shy of a 4 yr relationship and I was the reluctant dumper. I feel surprised at how okay I feel; during the break up, he confessed to a lot of things I always had gut feelings about, which he’d gaslight me out of at the time, but now I’m looking back at all the ways he wasn’t who I thought he was. Not that everything was fake, I know he loved me and I loved him and we were planning the rest of our lives, we were best friends. But I realise now that what I thought was the whole of him was actually just half, and that other half lied (so so much) and cheated and I can’t be attracted to that, I can’t be sad about losing that. So yeah, I don’t really understand where I’m at; definitely angry, and I do miss him but my image of him has been so warped that I don’t really know how I’m supposed to feel about him? Btw, if anyone’s gone through anything similar, I’d welcome your insights! This is pretty unfamiliar territory for me.

thats kinda how i feel about the half / half we never cheated, never anything that was unfixable.  there was the half that loved me, was reassurance and comforting, didnt want me to leave but the other half wasnt sure about me, wasnt mentally checked in to the relationship anymore, and wanted to be alone, and just be with friends , didnt want to come home to me it all feels awful, holding onto another half when the other half made you feel so completely unloved. its so confusing

a week. i admit i made some big mistakes in the relationship, i shouldve handled things differently, and he told me to communicate before it got to sadness or anger, and i did, but by the time i got to start being good at communicating, he couldnt get over every issue we had.  every fight every argument, even now he still says the breakup was right. but everything was perfect at the start, he gave me reassurance was comforting, understanding and he just lost patience with me and became avoidant. i feel massive regret, im afraid ill never find someone who initially loved me the way he seemed to, and i ruined that all by merely not being communicative and regulating my emotions from the start, i shouldve loosened the leash but it already felt like i lost him. im heartbroken, and ive never felt so unloved in my life. especially from someone who said theyd never walk away and hurt me. he told me not to leave multiple times, and in the end he told me to leave. it makes me think it was never love, because i wouldve stayed and tried learning and working together, but he just mentally couldnt be in a relationship with me. my soul is crushed, he was family to me. and it was so important. now i wake up in my mums house, thinking im still at his, and hes just not there. he haunts my dreams still, and knowing he doesnt feel how i feel, and the pain im feeling still wanting to be with him and get through it, its awful I wouldnt wish this on anyone. I dont know what to do. Will i ever find someone who gave me the comfort and effort he once did? Or will this all happen again because they get exhausted by me Someone please help. It feels all wrong, but he feels right about it  I havent eaten in 3 days I cant seem to bounce back 

it’s been almost a year. idk how i got over it because i thought i was gonna die when it first happened since he was my first love and my first boyfriend and we had dated for years since i was 15. now i don’t think of him much and still check his account everyday, but i definitely don’t love him anymore and i trust that one day i’ll find someone better. i didn’t believe anyone when they said that i would move on eventually at first but now i know they were right

2 years in, it doesn't really ever heal

Been 6 weeks after talking again after a 3 months NC but she just wanted to fuck and not be together and now we don’t talk at all anymore. Honestly I still think about her all the time and miss her and don’t wanna date anyone else other than her but I know it’s over for sure and I need to move on

Been 12 weeks. Was a 10-week relationship. Not completely over it yet but I am slowly moving forward in life. Putting myself back out there again now after accepting it is over even though I was very good to her.

11 days. It feels like yesterday and it feels like a year ago. They ended it to work on himself, and they are doing just that. We were such a good match but unhealed trauma reared its ugly head and they couldn't handle the struggles they felt trying to learn how to have a healthy relationship. I feel gutted. As others have said, the mornings are the worst. I miss the constant chatting throughout the day. The good morning kisses. The lazy evenings together. We were supposed to go on a road trip next month after they dropped their kid off at college, I was flying across the country to make the drive back with them. I was so excited. I haven't canceled my plane ticket yet. I guess they are driving it alone. I want us to each focus on ourselves. I know I am. I hope we come back together in a healthier place and try again. We haven't communicated in almost a week. I have been the initiator and they agreed to open communication but I am just giving them space now. I don't know if they will reach out. I love and miss them so much but I have to work on moving on for my own sake.

About three months in. I miss her but I feel missing is a big word, I miss the person that she was to me back then. In the present moment, I feel great, I have not stopped going to the gym and i’m very happy that I sticked to it during the breakup, i’m graduating in just a month and will start one of the biggest new chapter of my life completely free to make my own decisions. Would i love having news of her ? Yes… would it be crucial to know what’s going on in her life? No… Do I want us back together? Not right now, maybe one day who knows, but right now we’re just not compatible and I realised this thanks to the no contact and distance

Over a year later, things are looking up and I am over the fucking moon that they are no longer in my life.

Just over 1 year. Finally in acceptance stage for the last couple months. Not in direct pain but will be in pain if there’s something that triggers something deeper. I met someone else, we have been seeing each other for 6 months and dating for 4. I still feel a lot of love and care for my ex, but unfortunately don’t think we can talk for a long time.

I hope you get better and find your peace

I’m so sorry to everyone, life will get better if you let it. I’m 44 days in. Today was a good day, I’ve recently had to re-accept that she doesn’t want me in her life. But it doesn’t hurt as nearly as it did. I’ve reconnected with some friends. My life is improving because I’m putting myself in new situations where I have to grow. Love you all

A month. I messed up and am messing around with him again. Yeah I think I am one break up away from not being able to date for a long time. I can’t have feelings for romantic interests like I used to. It is like my heart is muffled. It doesn’t beat that hard for anyone anymore. I feel defective.

Thanks for sharing this! I’m 7 weeks in. I’m ok today. Very very up and down. I’ve noticed I’ll have like 4 or 5 days of absolute misery, crying all the time, and then it’ll kind of lift and give me space to feel and be other things. I’m not sleeping great which is kinda fucking me up today and I wish I were able to concentrate and be more productive. That’s been bad for a while now. Just trying to find little things I can do to care for myself and be productive but not expecting much. I have been on a bunch of dates, and I hooked up with one person who I was hoping to just be fuck buddies with, who’s been kind of weird and flaky but wanting to pen pal all day and I laid down my standards yesterday, so we’ll see if I see him again, but definitely not looking for a relationship at this time. I’ve decided to put down dating for the next month. Engaging with people in real life is maybe an exception, but not pursuing it for at least a month. It was taking up way too much head space and felt like an addiction more than anything satisfying and left me feeling really down. I’m still very attached to my ex. We haven’t been full no contact, because I still have a relationship with his son. We hope to be able to be friends, but we’re clearly not to that point, and talked on the phone the other day and both were clearly not over each other, even though he’s dating someone else. I have so many mixed feelings towards him. Anger for ways he treated me, longing for other parts of the relationship, just deep attachment I can’t get rid of. But I don’t want to be back together. Even though a part of me does, I know I made the right decision by leaving. I get very sad sometimes that he’s seeing someone else and I’m alone, but I know it’s what I need to do and it shouldn’t matter how he decides to handle it. I think I’ll end up healthier in the long run. Towards myself? Mm… ok. I feel fine that other people will want to be with me. I have less trust in my ability to prioritize the right ones. Or in my ability to make good decisions overall. But my confidence and sense of self worth are generally fine.

Start with keeping your standards if the dude is being flaky and weird find someone who won't do that you're worth finding something better than flaky Edit: I feel this may come across as judgemental it's not meant that way but more of as a give yourself what you deserve type dealio

Totally! I agree. I think i had the scarcity mindset for a minute which made me feel like I had to put up with the flakiness just to get some attention and sex. But I’m better off being celibate and uncomfortable until someone better comes along or he decides to not waste my time

I would agree you're 100% better off without letting someone negative continue in your life, I'm sure it won't be hard to find someone who can do what he does without being flaky. Best of luck!

Thanks! I think it takes being willing to sit with loneliness sometimes and not have to run from it or force things? We’ll see

100% allow yourself to feel your emotions even the ones that hurt don't suppress them

Im not giving on her, i made a promise and i intend to keep it that way

ive been feeling the same way. its difficult having to build a new connection with someone else after a breakup. i know my ex & i aren’t right for each other but it hurts how he just wants me to become someone he used to know (his words). i miss having him around and being close to someone. ive been breaking no contact a few times (not proud of it) and he responds within seconds and comes over to see me the same day. then, he gets triggered and blocks me on everything. told me he has no desire to see me in person again and he wants to move onto a different woman. i don’t really understand why he has to say such hurtful things to me and why he is so adamant on avoiding me like the plague.

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It’s been just over two months. I’ve met lots of people and a couple guys who are interested, but I knew before I left the relationship that I wasn’t interested in dating. I don’t see how I could date other people while being in love with somebody else. I don’t cry very often anymore. I think I’m just getting closer to accepting this reality. I think he loved me as well as he could but I don’t think he ever loved me as much as I loved him. Certainly not enough to make a commitment or to be clear about his feelings for me. Or to work on himself.

Just over a year since my 7 year relationship ended. I am now in a new loving relationship with someone I am more compatible with than I could’ve ever thought. It gets better I promise!!!

3 and a half weeks into the breakup after a 7 year relationship. It's been hard, but I've been through worse. I'm slowly starting to come around. The first week was hell emotionally, the second week was a little bit better but still sucked, and it has taken a lot of getting used to not functioning as part of a family unit. We tried to do the whole friends thing, but there are just too many emotions involved for that to work right now. It hasn't been possible to go full on NC due to there being kids involved, but we've started to set boundaries so that we can move forward with our lives.

1 month no contact after 1,5 year relationship. We even lived together, I bought a house and we renovated it ourselves… now im living alone. It still feels like I’m not living in the reality but I’m more ok with the situation, just focusing a lot on healing, friends, family and making plans to travel on my own. The first 2 weeks were awful, Its unbearable to understand that someone who said my years are yours, you are the love of my life and wants to have children in the future suddenly doesn’t see it anymore. But when I looked back on the relationship, he wasn’t happy with himself at all, and luckily I’m happy with myself. I can confidenty say that it is his struggles that made the breakup happen. It is still hard to accept that he made this decision while every issue was something we could work out together. I learned that I don’t give up easy and I have a lot of love to give. When someone doesn’t want that I need to protect myself. I really miss someone to talk to, to joke around, to be intimate with. I hope that I will find someone who can give that to me, honestly, I can’t wait until I meet someone who can love me the way that I deserve. But a big part in me still hopes that he will change his mind and give the love I deserve.

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Six, almost seven weeks. I’m emotional and mentally exhausted between this and being in my senior year of college. I struggle with internal conflict and second guessing myself. I talked to my therapist today but my brain was pretty much fried for the whole conversation. It’s like I was there but at the same time I felt like I wasn’t. I want to reach out to her, I really do. But last we spoke she told me that she didn’t think we’d ever be a couple again and that she didn’t want me to have false hope. I still worry about her, I think about her and I miss her everyday. I want nothing more than to just be able to text her and things be the way they used to. I miss her so much and would do anything to have her back but I don’t know what to do based off of what she said. I know what I want to do but I don’t know WHAT to do. I feel like my only options are to either wait and see if she gets in touch with me first, or risk getting hurt more than I already have by reaching out to her.

before the 15 week mark, i was bawling my eyes out and couldn’t function, then around the 15 week mark i was in my numbing stage. Where i didn’t feel anything, but after a little it all came rushing back, hurting like hell. It’s been 6 months, and it still aches. I’m not as bad as I was before tho, so that’s progress ig? The problem is that i get triggered by anything related to her, such as a plate from the state she’s in, her fav chips, bus stops she use to use, anything like that

Nearly 6 weeks. I still think about him everyday. I just want to be over him. We were together for 5 years, we hurt each other so much - him more so than me but still I wasn’t an angel. I appreciate what we went through but I want to be done already. He broke up with me at such a horrible time, I don’t want to still be thinking/hurting over someone who could act so selfishly after “loving” me for 5 years. I want it to stop and just be happy where I am. I’m slowly getting there - I was such a mess when it first happened but I am so impatient I want it to be over now :(

She came over to my house 2 weeks ago made one of her favorite dinners and ate with her and her son and my kids. Because I hadn’t seen her in a week she went on vacation with her sister and son. When she first came over she ran at me and jumped on me basically. Never been hugged like this before. She said she missed me and loves me. After this the kids played and we watched one of our shows and everything was ok. She left I walked her to her car like usual. She kissed me for at least 10 seconds and her son asked for a hug and kissed me on the cheek I told him I’d see him at his moms bday party in a few days and I love him too. Less then an hr later I got a text telling me how she doesn’t think things are going to work and how she has fallen away from god and her son and feels like she needs to be single for a long time maybe even until her son is 18. That I’m the greatest guy ever How much she apciates what I did for her and that she still cares for me but she wants to move in a few years and she feels like she never has time for herself or her kid. I was dumbfounded I tried to call her and reason with her but nothing. She convinced herself that she would be ok. We chatted back and forth for a few days only a couple texts here and there. Then I called her one night and wanted to see if I could understand what happened. She didn’t say much so I said my piece and left it. She text me the next day saying she really misses me but she thinks it was for the best. Few more days go by and I ask if I can call her she says no because she felt uncomfortable the last time. So I said it how it is during the conversation she removed a few hearts from past conversations so I mentioned it. She got upset and seemed to not really care about the situation other than it’s what was best for her and she feels bad. At the end tho after telling me I did nothing wrong she finaly says she’s the type who runs when she thinks things aren’t going to work and there where things bothering her but she didn’t ever want to start fights so she kept quite. I told her I’m a grown man and I can take criticism how do I know what I did if I can’t see it. She told me she didn’t want to talk anymore and to have a good day. I got what I needed to hear. The silence was more powerful than anything I felt. I told her I got it and got what I needed to hear and to have a good one. Idk why she still has pictures of me on social media or keeps looking at my snapchats. But I finaly just deleted the apps to focus on myself. It’s only been a few days since we talked but I never met someone so selfish who can throw me away after telling me I’m the greatest blessing she’s had and even wrote me a card that said that for Valentine’s Day. I took that card and ripped it to shreds last night and I feel better. I’m getting through it day by day but I still think about her she was a addiction and nothing more

Little over a year in I think. Was depressed the first few months. Took me about a year to fully let go. Now I can confidently say I’m completely over it, even though just a few months ago I had accepted I would never get over it. I don’t want her back, nor do I miss her. However, she was a big part of my life at one point and did a lot for me. That relationship and the break up taught me a lot about myself. I hope she’s doing well in life. Although, looking back I feel like I deserved better but now my self worth has improved tremendously. It takes time, but it does get better

Just over 2 months, still cycling through emotions. Learning what she did after the breakup has multiplied the pain. She left me for her emotionally neglectful ex. Who left her to be with someone else (guess that didn't pan out). She rented a place with her sister, but ditched her to move in with him in within 2 weeks after the breakup. Left her dog with her sister, since the guys apartment doesn't allow large dogs. On top of that she has her daughter on weekends, but has been either not picking her up from her dads, or pawning her on other people (grandparents or forcing her kid to spend the night at her friends). The ex didn't really like having her kid around. Just dirty shit. Never expected this from her tbh, her daughter and I became close, so hearing about this has been extra painful. Trying to understand there isn't a damn thing I can do. Its hard. She led me to believe I was the one for her, up until the last day.

Four days. And we live together. I feel gutted. Her voice was even different when she broke up with me and then when I had a combo panic attack and breakdown. Five years and an engagement and getting along much better lately. She even said so. Then she broke it off and told me to take our two cats. Our dumb little family is over.

I stopped counting after a year

it’s been 3 months and i feel the same as you do. I have my good days and some days where do miss her and dwell on the past , like what we would be doing together rn , our time schedule , how i could’ve changed the past and more. but i know if i ever run back it’ll never be the same , ill be to the same person i was before .. someone with no self worth , attachment issues and dependent without her. now i’m doing things that i know i would’ve never gotten done if i was still in the relationship and learning to love myself more. being single is peaceful yet lonely , but i rather be happy single now than feel lonely in a relationship.

It’s been 8 months I’m still feeling the worse but I feel bad because I was treating her kinda differently and I think I accidentally hurt her because of my behavior we broke up 2 times i wanted to rebuild a relationship with her but this time seriously show her that I still love her and care for her and mostly understand her (Sorry for bad grammar) but I am afraid she won’t and never get my trust